The Sun has seen an extended segment of the Britney Spears documentary that is set to air on MTV on November 30th, just in time for the release of her new CD, Circus. In the clip, they say that Britney cries and talks about how difficult she finds her day to day life. It sounds more like she’s discussing her mental state than anything external.
in a new fly-on-the-wall documentary she tearfully admits: “There’s no excitement, there’s no passion.
“I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out.
“But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day.”…
She says: “I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening.
“If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time.
“I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free.”
[From The Sun via Huffington Post]
It’s surprising that Britney feels so constrained by her father’s conservatorship, because she’s doing so much better and it was assumed that she was ok with it. Late last month Britney’s dad Jamie was appointed a permanent conservator of her affairs and Britney was said to have agreed as she was hoping it would help her regain custody of her children.
Britney’s situation is of course vastly different from jail, but when you suffer from mental illness it could feel the same. She was driving around aimlessly and staying at hotels before her father took over, and maybe she misses that. She also could be talking about how her medication gives day to day life a kind of evenness that seems boring in comparison to the excitement and mania of the past.
It’s clear that she’s very troubled by her situation. An escape from show business probably isn’t what she’s looking for either, because she seems to crave the spotlight. She probably couldn’t have recovered so well without the help she’s getting, but it could be that all she sees are the restrictions on the way she used to feel. She could miss her old life filled with drama and danger, as out of control as she seemed to the world.
Here are two new promos for Britney’s MTV special “On the Record,” via BritneySpears.com
Photos are exclusive dance rehearsal pictures from Britney Spears.com
I’m pro-Brit but complaining about the ‘restrictions’ she’s under suggests she really hasn’t accepted or taken responsibility for how totally out of control and f*k up she was less than one year ago. She should be counting her blessings instead of whining about what she thinks she’s missing out on. Stupid ungrateful girl needs to focus on what she has and all the things she nearly lost for good, incl. her own life.
Cant be easy having a mental illness under those conditions. I’m glad to see her getting her life back together and being healthy. I understand what she means and there is no cure for mental illness, only symptom control. Hopefully she’ll work things out in herself and show the world they were wrong when they were damning her when she was going through her bad period.
I interpreted it as talking about her life in general as a celebrity headliner and pap-magnet, but then I understood shes talking about her current legal setup with guardianship etc–? Well it works either way; but I would have commended her more for speaking of her general situation– the one that put her into that whole mess– and not complaining about the aftermath only…
Brit says she no longer on meds but this is hard to believe given this statement After experiencing extreme highs and lows as normal, the drugs will make her feel “flat” She’s not imagining it, it’s a real phenomena. this is why so many mentally ill refuse to take drugs – particularly creative people prone to mania. Some psychotropics are like a chemical lobotomy; there’s a “dead” feeling. Those that have never experienced it (like mental health profesionals)cannot conceive of it or empathise.
Sure, everybody is happy now Brits “well” again – except Brit.
My heart goes out to her
I think she probably needs to get a grip on what life is like. Very few of us have days full of passion and excitement. We’re usually lucky if we have days full of pleasant minutes with a little excitement and/or passion thrown in here and there. Sounds like she just needs to grow up.
Too bad she can’t walk a mile in the shoes of someone less fortunate.
She’s good looking, rich, talented, blessed with two beautiful little boys and a father who cares enough to offer structure and a semblence of order in their lives.
I agree with you Syko, pre-babies she always said how she wanted to just live a normal life, well…normal life is boring–so boring that she put on a wig and performed at House of Blues just to get away with it.
This sounds like the freak out I had on my first day of my real job out of college…I suddenly realized that the coming of summer vacation meant nothing…there’s no longer an end in sight…except maybe retirement… no passion here. But we’re all dealing with it.
I have been saying for a long time,that Britney is seriously ill and her parents instead of heavily trying to promote her comeback should focus on her mental ilness.ALso the press is playing this game by actually not reporting pics and stories these days that show her heavy crying or reacting realy bad.Nothing has changed,just she is heavily controled now and on medication.The results of this could be far worse than what we saw.
Poor kid needs to switch from lithium to something else… there IS a way to have a mental illness, be stable and yet not be zoned out. I haven’t had an episode in 4 years thanks to another stabilizer… I flat out refused lithium… I’m so glad I did it. Another way to be stable and alive IS definitely possible.
i think that it is true . . . that it’s all she’s “ever known.” Going through puberty – and all those raging hormones and performing in front of millions of people on a weekly basis- the natural high she must have felt . . . being interviewed right and left and no one really watching out for you . . . then to go back to a ‘normal’ life where things are generally calm. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that she did drugs, and apparently her family knew about it. Apparently, she loved ecstasy . . . a drug, in moderation, that doesn’t do much harm . . . but done on a regular basis, turns your brain into swiss cheese. Kids say they use drugs to experiment, but also to assert their independence: to have their own experiences outside from the world constantly imposed on them. And to top it all off, to have a mental condition (drugs have been known to make these things surface more if you take a lot of recreational drugs). And then to marry someone who videotapes you when you’re high and post it on the internet. This was her “family” and “husband”. I think she’s made some pretty shi*ty choices, but a part of my heart goes out to her. Honestly, what other life can she lead? Her family never insisted on the importance of an education — to cultivate interests other than being a sexed-up show-cow. She’s not the brightest girl, but she could have been pushed in a direction that was healthier than this. I do feel sorry for her – she just doesn’t know any better.
If she’s bipolar (and I think she is personally) then she does need to make sure the medications she is prescribed work for HER. It’s very subjective process: what works for someone else may not work for her. I feel for her, adjusting to the idea of mental illness is difficult enough, she has had no real stability in her life. All the money and fame in the world cannot help you cope with the reality of dealing with an ongoing mental illness. My two kids are both bipolar and I have taken steps every day to treat their condition as I would any other medical condition: it’s not a values judgement on them, it’s just something they need to manage. It just IS.
I hope and pray Britney does okay, that she’s getting therapy to help her deal with the struggles of managing her illness; she seems like a smart and caring woman, she deserves happiness.
I feel for her. She used to love performing, now she doesn’t feel the passion for it. Can you imagine what it would feel like to be getting ready for a world tour that you just don’t care about? Rosanna~ I think you’re right. Her meds need to be worked out, and hopefully they’ll eventually get it right.
@Rosanna: I don’t know if you’re bipolar 1 but lithium is the first line med for that. I take lithium and have been on 4 other meds in conjunction that haven’t worked. I’ve just started valproate with lithium. My experience is that lithium isn’t too bad (god help anyone who has to take seroquel) it’s just that it does very little for the depression that accompanies bipolar. You’ve had your mania ‘removed’ but the other side is still there, that’s why lithium seems as bad as it does. You get used to it.
@Syko: I think Britney is referring to the passion of emotions and feelings which is the first thing these meds unplug. Also, a clearly defined routine is necessary in bipolar treatment (same thing, same time every day) which for Britney is likely difficult given she’s never had a ‘day job’ but it’s crucial to maintain with her condition.
Anyhoo, my two cents.
it’s too bad that all this therapy and meds have had a minimal effect on the brit. some sense of responsibility from her would be a refreshing change. she is still a bratty girl in a woman’s body. grow the eff up already!
i belive it was Jossip that had a vid of her talking mad shit about her dad and it would have been funny had it not been so real. if it were not for her dad, her kids would be out of her life and she would be hanging with scum making more porno. (not that there is anythng wrong with that if you are consenting adults not hopped up on goofballs)
she has such a long road to recovery and stability and i fear this album will only stretch that road further. her people are pushing her to make $$, so in her twisted little mind she must interpret this as being “ok”.
nobody likes to be controlled, but then again most of us haven’t endangered ourselves, family, and public as the brit has. i stick to my theory that she needs to go back down south out of the limelight and grow up.
Whenever Britney is mentioned everyone turns into a psychologist. I don’t think anything is wrong with her mentally. She’s probably just really stressed out.
I agree with those of you saying that she’s talking about the drugs she’s on – I really believe her doctors and her dad put her on something strong to stabilize her mania (or whatever her illness is) – if you go back and read her comments, she sounds like a girl who doesn’t want to be so heavily medicated, but knows that she needs to be.
Run of the mill manic-depressive, there’s two in every household. 🙄
geronimo- I totally agree that it doesn’t seem like Britney’s taken responsibility for her loss of control. And on the same vein as Syko’s comment, I can’t believe she can call her life boring at all. She VERY clearly has nothing to reference in regards to a boring life.
To be fair, though, she doesn’t say that her life is worse than jail. She’s comparing the situations, and it’s actually a pretty astute comparison. Jail is a given sentence, you get out eventually. But imagine waking up every day to see if things go well and if there are going to be six more months of conservatorship. She’s gone from extreme to the other.
Though I wonder, when Sam Lutfi was drugging her and controlling her in her own home,did she feel “free”? People have been demanding her time and effort all of her life- and still are. I doubt she has any reference to what feeling “free” is really like, either. (Then again, do any of us REALLY know what it’s like..? Hmm.) It’s a little hard not to pity her.
@LondonParis: and people can still get street drugs in jail…
Let’s toss her ass in jail for a few months (years, decades), so she can research whether or not the comparison is indeed accurate.
I read this as Brit talking about her life in general, not so much the effects of the medication she’s on. Maybe she was, it just seemed a little bit too insightful….
In any case, I agree that she’s still got a long way to go before achieving sustainable balance in her life and I think, like dr.grrl says, she’d be much better off doing this privately and out of the public spotlight.
Her feelings could be an off-kilter brain chemistry having finally been leveled out due to meds as you have all been saying. Though, I wonder if they are focusing too much on her mania, and not treating her well for depression. Of course the two go hand-in-hand, but she sounds depressed. Just the lack of hope, the absence of a sense of future, etc. those don’t seem to be things that go along with being medicated. I don’t know, just a thought, but, my bi-polar friends are usually happy and emote, if not a subdued happy, when they are on their meds.
There is a very interesting article by Lisa Appignanesi about women and madness.
“Then as now, it seems, men can be wild and bad, transgress bounds, enter the revolving doors of what we casually call “rehab”, without incurring the stigma and constraints of madness, whereas women, certainly once they have reached the maturity of motherhood, cannot.”
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/mar/10/popandrock.women
Quite an interesting read.
I feel for Britney. It’s easy to say she should just accept “real life”, when obviously no one ever taught her how to do that.
She has been living in other people’s fantasies for so long, it seems to me she doesn’t really know how to be anything else.
Brit-Brit feels restricted now that she has to follow a set routine? Poor thing!
If that woman is bi-polar, than I’m a certified genius. Clearly, the woman has pervasive mental and social issues (most of it environmental/habitual as opposed to genetic), but I’m sick to death of this PR trump up.
I’d love to play armchair psychologist with Brit, but unfortunately I spend my time working with real individuals with real degenerative mental illnesses, not a self-centered, depressed popstar with a penchant for self-medication.
i’m surprised to see such judgment and dismissal of britney’s comment about dealing with her life. you all say you want to know, but when she does give her opinion, you rip her apart for being spoiled, etc.
you don’t need a degree in psych to see that something clearly was not right with her in the past few years, and in my view, something is still off. she never said she was bi-polar, it is the media who speculates without basis.
i don’t feel “sorry” for her, but i can empathize with her as a fellow human who is having a tough time in her life. there is always someone who has it better than you or worse than you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have compassion for each other.
jealousy is ugly.
m.chad, I may be reading all this wrong, but I don’t see much jealousy and I do see a good bit of empathy here, probably more than she even deserves. I’ve always been in the “not so much mentally ill as spoiled rotten” camp. I’m sorry she’s finding life boring, I’m sure it seems so after baiting paps, running over people, wrecking cars, and freaking out in the middle of the night. But a good deal of life IS boring, which is why a lot of us turn to Celebitchy where we can snark, gossip and say nasty things about celebrities to our hearts’ content.
and this,boys and girls,is what happens when parents shove their kids into show business at an early age.
She’s bipolar. People *celebrities – pretty ones with long blonde hair* don’t just go shave their heads – in public – unless there’s something very wrong.
I think she’s also an alcoholic/drug addict. And, she doesn’t like taking the meds because it takes away her mania. Very typical in bipolar patients – and yes, I’ve known a few.
She sounds like she’s in denial about her “condition” (bipolar/addict)which is not good. She’ll live in misery – feeling trapped – until/unless she accepts who she is and starts working on herself. Which I don’t think she’s doing.
She’s just going back to what she’s always done – perform/make money.
Could be why the conservatorship has been extended?
@ Susan – rumor has it she shaved her head because Kevin’s lawyers demanded Brit submit a hair sample for drug-testing.
vdantev – I never heard that. If it’s true – all the MORE reason to suspect her heavy drug use. And, where her mind was at.
Poor Britney, depression is such a restraint and really holds a person back.
She sounds like a little caged bird but it’s nothing bad. It’s called responsibility. Most people who grow up, have kids and bills have to have it. Sad but too. Neverland doesn’t really exist 🙁
@Heb I can really relate to your ‘post college freakout’ mine came a bit later…when I finished my PhD, after 5 years of relative freedom, I also taught university and didn’t have to be in the office except for contact hours and of course teaching classes, I started working in the public service. OMG. It was a real shock. I remember sitting in the restroom at work thinking “this is IT for the rest of my life, summer doesn’t mean time off, I have to show up here EVERY SINGLE DAY and sit at the same desk” It was very hard. Previously to uni I had been a stay at home mum with 4 kids which was a lot of work as well, I had my kids young and then went to uni completing a doctorate by 40, but being a mum with four kids is freer in many ways. Thanks for that comment it helped me feel that my reaction was more ‘normal’
I also thought immediately that Brit’s discussion of no excitement, no passion was due to the meds she’s on. I take a very mild dose (10mg p/d) of noritryptiline for anxiety and I decided to go off it for a month and see. And yes I did feel things more keenly including happiness but after 3 weeks I was extremely anxious again, short-tempered and very grouchy. It makes life hard for my new husband and kids. I went back on them. It runs in my family and I just have to accept that I will have to keep taking them.
At Brit’s age this would be very hard to come to terms with. She’s what 26? That is SO young my heart goes out to her, it will get easier I hope as she gets older and has more life experience.
@Syko: Couldn’t agree with you more, it’s like you took my thoughts straight out of my head about this girl.
Anyway well said, I can’t add any more to what you’ve already so perfectly said.
Whatever Brit…
Everyday I get up and take medication, breathing treatments every 4 hours, all kinds of stuff just to keep going until I can get a lung transplant. NOW THAT is groundhog day!
Grow up, quit complaining or get out of the limelight. It’s simple! Oh and I’m only 26.
I do feel sorry for Britney. She seems to have the emotional maturity of a 16 year old, and I suspect that that is the normal outcome of her extremely abnormal childhood. She desperately needs the help of a competent therapist who can gain her trust.