We haven’t yet covered Bachelorette Emily Maynard’s engagement at all, and honestly none of us here at CB watch it. I overhear people talking about this show a lot, though – I know my body combat teacher watches it, and I’ve heard other moms talking about it on the playground. So it must be popular. Anyway this show took the cover of US Weekly in what I first thought was a manufactured story to earn publicity – Emily Maynard allegedly sent sexy text messages and photos to another man. Her fiance, the very young-looking dude she picked out on the show, Jef Holm, caught her and understandably blew up about it. Here’s part of US Weekly’s cover story from their print edition. They’ve since posted a follow-up online in which Holm’s brother confirms the story. So now I believe it’s true, especially after reading the story. Here are some relevant excerpts:
Emily Maynard… 26, and her daughter, Ricki, 7, decided to join Holm’s extended family at a palatial 10,000 square-foot beach house the Holms rented in Pawleys Island, South Carolina. “It was a meet-the-family trip,” says a source close to the Holms. “Everyone was excited to see Emily.”
The excitement was short-lived. Late on August 19 – one day after Maynard arrived by car with Ricki from her hom in Charlotte, North Carolina – Holm, a water-company exec, was blindsided when he found explicit text messages and photos to and from another man on Maynard’s cellphone, says the source. “There were texts and pictures: ‘Let’s do this and that with each other,'” adds the source. A heart-broken Holme, 28, exploded at his bride-to-be, who was so careful to portray a girl-next-door image on TV that she said she wouldn’t even allow overnight dates. “Jef and Emily went into a bedroom and were yelling. He said, ‘You’ve been f’king cheating on me for months!” Though Holm’s family tried to calm him, he was inconsolable and told Maynard, “Pack your sh-t and get the f out…”
The source says Holm had a nagging suspicion his fiancee was keeping something from him, so he had a peek at her cell phone, not knowing what he’d find. His worst fears were realized when he discovered the sexual texts and photos to an unidentified man. He lost his temper, screaming at her in front of Ricki. “Emily was crying and saying, ‘Please don’t do this in front of Ricki,” says the source. “Ricki was terrified.”
But the child’s fear couldn’t curb Holm’s anger. He laid into Maynard until one of his sisters scooped up the child and brought her to the family room, where she put on a movie to drown out the noise. For nearly two hours, the couple argued behind closed doors, while Holm’s family sat in disbelief…
Maynard packed up at 1 A.M., scooped up a sleeping Ricki clutching a stuffed horse and headed to her car… she drove off into the night…
The following day, Holm traveled four hours north to see Maynard in Charlotte. “He said he wants to be done with her… But maybe he wanted to apologize for flying off the handle.”
[From US Weekly, print edition, September 3, 2012]
I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard of friends who have busted their husband sending suggestive messages on Facebook especially. It seems to be really rampant, and I know a lot of people believe it’s not cheating just to be flirty online or to correspond with a person of the opposite sex in a romantic way without their partner knowing about it. In my opinion, if you’re hiding it from your partner, it’s cheating. Maybe it’s not as severe as P in the V cheating, but it can still be devastating. If someone is not ashamed of what they’re doing, if they’re “just friends” with this other person, why would they sneak around like that?
It’s not a good sign for Emily and Jef’s relationship if she’s doing this, especially this early on! They’re supposed to be in the awesome beginning relationship phase and they were on vacation with his family for God’s sake! I would say their relationship is doomed, but I would say that for anyone who hooks up on these shows. Trista and Ryan are the only exception in like 8 seasons on Bachelorette and 16 seasons on Bachelor! Those are some sh*tty odds.
In response to this story, Emily and Jef did a kissy photo op in Charlotte on Tuesday to show that everything is fine. (Those photos are here.) Sure it is.
Update: as Dianna commented, Emily and Jef denied this story to People. I believe US’ version, since his own brother confirmed on the record that the fight happened.
Photo credit: Jennifer Buhl, PacificCoastNews. These photos are from Tuesday. Emily is also shown on Extra on 5-22-12. Credit: FameFlynet
“if you’re hiding it from your partner, it’s cheating”
THIS.
And if it’s not cheating it’s probably going to lead to it.
+1
+2
A similar thing happened to me in my former marriage, and it hurts to this day. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and once the trust is gone, it’s gone forever.
+3
He was out of his league. She wasnt interested in following him to Utah. She wanted it all.
From published reports she was after a country singer, wanted a show biz career, all over the map. He appears to be genuine hope he meets a nice girl.
For Emily, karma.
And she not that hot. A petite southern girl, but starting to show wear. With her hair pulled back not good looking at all.
I’d get the hell out of the relationship if someone did that to me, life is too short and there’s too many other options.
Bleh. Though there are various forms, cheating is cheating.
26?! She easily looks 40. Jef (ha!) looks WAY younger than her. Also, these “Bachelor” relationships are total crap. I don’t know why that shizz is still on TV.
I was pretty much thinking the same thing. She is a pretty woman, but if someone told me that she was 36 I would have easily believed them. She does not look 26.
That’s what happens when you’ve been around, age faster
I don’t check my boyfriend cellphone, he doesn’t check mine, it’s a lack of trust, but when you feel the need to do it…there’s smoke somewhere,and where there’s smoke… there’s fire.
BTW sending sexy images of you to someone who’s not your partner that’s cheating.
But didn’t they deny it yesterday as well in People?
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20623461,00.html
I’ll update with that Dianna, but his brother did confirm it so I would guess he’s US’ source.
It should probably also be noted that Jef referenced his brother as only doing it for fame on Twitter, Paps have a video of both Jef and Emily denying it (on Newscom) and several sources have come out saying that the story was completely fabricated and that the brother (a known black sheep) totally made it up.
Also Jef just made fun of the situation on his Instagram. Why do people continue to believe the crap that US Weekly writes? Especially after you see a deny coming right from the horses mouth?
One more thing, the US Weekly article states that Emily left SC for Charlotte with just her daughter at 1 am…. but Jef posted a photo he took of Emily on their way back to Charlotte TOGETHER, and during the day.
SMH
Is she really 26? I would have guessed 36…don’t get me wrong, she is beautiful but she looks older than 26. And he looks like he could be her younger brother…maybe 19ish
I was just thinking that she looks incredibly beautiful. Very “All American/Sorority look.” However, I would have easily believed that she was in her early 30s.
Just shows that manufactured (perhaps some work done) beauty makes you look older.
Sexting, sex messages, nude photos, all that is cheating.
it seems that anyone below 35 doesn’t seem to understand cause and effect and consequences to actions… it’s almost like there is this epidemic of NO common sense…just stupid, actually. I don’t mean that for everyone, but in general, it seems more the ‘norm’ ….I guess that’s the age of technology…people are so dumbed down it’s crazy! Just my opinion but I certainly have witnessed and heard of it over and over.
There are countless examples of people 35 and older not understanding cause and effect and doing foolish things time and again, so your first sentence is just absurd.
As for this epidemic of “no common sense” and people being “so dumbed down it’s crazy!”: people have always done foolish things; this isn’t new at all. The only thing new is the technology that allows the foolishness to be broadcast far and wide. Cheating is not new; taking pictures of one’s self and sending them to someone is not new; writing explicit letters is not new. All of these things you’re seeing that seem new to you, or seem like there “more the ‘norm'”, is really just same stuff being done in a new way.
I meant to type “they’re”, not “there” , and “…just the same stuff…” in that last sentence.
Personally, I think most people have cheated BEFORE they send sexy texts and pictures, otherwise why would they be sending such things? I think most have cheated – physically – and the sexting stuff is a follow-up communication.
See, I don’t think that’s true.
Sending sexy texts before the physical activity begins, and then continuing the texts, and possibly escalating the explicitness of the content over time or gradually phasing them out, is not at all unusual. Those kinds of texts can be used for teasing, foreplay, and flirting, which tends to happen before the sexual stage of affairs begin.
I’d posit that sending sexy texts before the physical encounter happens more often, even if by just a small number, than the physical encounter happening first.
If this is true (I know they denied it), then he needs to dump her for cheating and she needs to dump him for terrifying her daughter. No excuse to lose control like that to the point where someone else has to swoop in and get the child away from you. Sounds like they both need to grow up and learn some self-discipline.
everybody has a different definition of cheating, i agree that this is cheating. i mean why would you send nude pictures and sexy messages to someone?
what im generally wondering: is facebook and other social media helping people with cheating (it certainly brings old flames together again) or is it just that its easier discovered by the partner?
I’d say it does a little of both.
It provides an easier method of one-on-one interaction and a much bigger pool of people to talk to, which definitely makes cheating a bit easier, but it also provides a record of the correspondence and a timeline, which makes discovering the infidelity much easier.
I mean, if the person doing the cyber-cheating doesn’t delete the messages or pictures, their significant other can find that and actually save it or print it out, and evidence like that is hard to deny.
What a great role model for her daughter! Definitely setting a good example for her -_-
Can someone please kill these reality shows already? It’s cheating. She sucks. When does she have the time to see her daughter in between all the dating and cheating and engagements?
Is there some contractual obligation that they have to appear as a couple for a certain number of months post show?
I seem to remember reading that if they last one year they get to keep the ring. The diamond on her ring is huge – the largest in Bachelor/ette history.
There are also other considerations.
She is trying to get a spinoff show to showcase the planning their wedding.
He has been accused of going on the show to promote his company. He is a co-owner of a (for profit) bottled water company that seems sketchy. Supposedly, for every bottle of water they sell, they donate the same amount of water to third world countries by building wells. The thing is, if u go to the website (peoplewater.com) it’s very difficult to get any detailed information.
From the Peoplewater website, “For every bottle purchased Peoplewater will give an equal amount of clean water to a person in need.”
As for Emily’s ring. It’s a Neil Lane ring, 3.5 carats and worth $150,000.
Appears to be all about the $$$, if someone richer comes along, look out
They seem so mismatched. I’ve wondered if she weren’t pressured by producers to make this match. But unless he’s in on it, of course it’s cheating.
I watch the show – (very) guilty pleasure. I think she chose him for the comfort and stability his money brings, and yes, he seems like a very nice, sweet moral guy so she feels safe with him where her daughter is concerned. But she seems like someone who needs more ‘spice’ and she is having trouble committing to her sane and logical choice…although she knows it’s what’s best for herself and Ricki. I hope she treats him right – he really seems to adore her. If she can’t be 100% faithful, she should get out of it…but I doubt she ever will, she knows she’d be stupid to do so. He has to be the one to end it I think.
She has ABSOLUTELY attempted to cultivate (and cash in on) her “good girl image.
Except she DID spend the night with Arie in the Fantasy Suite, and now she’s pulling this sh!t. And pretty much everyone who knows her has said she’s a gold-digger and wants to be “famous” and she’s “changed” since being on The Bachelor (quelle surprise!).
(No, I’ve never seen even one episode of this show, but I do read a lot.)
god her chompers are terrible. TOO BIG. i am blaming Dr. Dorfman on that castastrophe
I think she has serious issues. She seems very untruthful, and not trustworthy.