Christina Aguilera releases new single, “Your Body”: inoffensive & boring?

I’m not sure why I missed writing about this last week – maybe it’s because Christina Aguilera kind of exhausts me these days. It’s not like she’s “crazy” in a really obvious, harmful way – although I do think she’s kind of crazy. Mostly I just think she’s a narcissist with a drinking problem… and that’s a dime a dozen, generally speaking. That’s my point: Christina isn’t really setting the world on fire with her individuality these days. The only hint of an Un-homogenized X-tina is when she fails, like when she flubs the National Anthem or maybe pees on herself a little while singing at a funeral.

Anyway, Christina is trying to get her music career back on track by using the Jennifer Lopez Comeback Career Path. Christina is now a judge on a popular singing-competition show, and she uses The Voice as a promotional tool for her (faltering) music career. Christina is putting out a new album called Lotus, and she’s already released the first single, “Your Body”. The cover art for the single is the header pic – it’s not good. It’s not awful or anything, but it just feels kind of boring and dated. Like it’s actually Britney Spears circa 2004 or something. Should I even make fun of Christina’s over-the-top weave and the excessive Photoshopping of her body? Eh.

As for the single… it’s not horrible either. It’s like she’s aiming to be inoffensive, I guess. It sounds like a pretty standard pop/dance track, like the song Madonna SHOULD have done for her last album:

Not bad. Not great. I wonder if she wrote it? I can’t find out. Christina described her new album like this: “Album title: Lotus. Representing an unbreakable flower that survives under the hardest conditions and still thrives. There will be a ‘Lotus’ intro to set the tone for the whole record. Conceptually I didn’t target one particular sound/genre. Self expression and freedom (are album themes). The album represents a rebirth for me. There are some beautiful personal ballads on this album. I wouldn’t do a record without them. I’ve been through a lot since the release of my last album, being on (‘The Voice’), having had a divorce. This is all sort of a free rebirth for me.” Blah. She even sounds like J.Lo.

Single cover image courtesy of Christina’s Twitter, additional photos courtesy of WENN.

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53 Responses to “Christina Aguilera releases new single, “Your Body”: inoffensive & boring?”

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  1. Birdie says:

    The original version is of course very DIRRTY, where she wants to “f*** your body”.*eyeroll* She is so edgy isn’t she.

    • gg says:

      Good grief, that sounds like necrophilia to me.

      She needs to try on a little depth once, for a change. So tired of her trying to be sexy/nasty – it’s gotten oooold, lady.

  2. hannah says:

    Lotus? Let me guess: that will also be the name of her upcoming fragrance?

    • Meg says:

      No. Her new fragrance is called RED SIN.
      I like new song it’s catchy and fun. I like the single cover as well – simple, soft, and sexy.
      BTW My eyes are in tears because you finally posted something positive (sort of) about Christina Aguilera.

  3. Macey says:

    Not really feeling that song, kind of meh, like a filler song. If thats the 1st release then i dont think you can expect much from the rest of the album.
    I was hoping it would be good b/c I did really like her older stuff but i think those days are gone.

  4. serena says:

    It’s okay I guess. I like that she’s not taking it from Lady Gaga anymore, it’s pop/dance, which I don’t dislike, not just dance and she FINALLY dropped the hardcore girl image.

  5. Merritt says:

    Christina is tryhard. She always has been. Which is unfortunate, since when she does not over sing, she does have a great voice. But she gets caught up in chasing down and copying her competition.

    The song is just meh. I feel like she should stick to ballads. She may never get another “Beautiful” but her ballads are her stronger songs.

    • mln76 says:

      Agreed the girl has talent but ruins it with oversinging. She won’t have a comeback unless she gets her head straightened out. I hope she doesn’t ruin her voice with all the boozing.

    • OriginalTiffany says:

      She needs to thank Linda Perry for that one…

      • Minty says:

        Thank you for saying that. “Beautiful” was Linda Perry’s creation. She also co-wrote every song in Back To Basics. Talented performers are wonderful, but not enough credit goes to the gifted songwriters and lyricists behind the scenes. The lyrics of many of Elton John’s best songs were written by Bernie Taupin.

        This song is forgettable. Christina needs to collaborate with better songwriters. That is, if she hasn’t alienated them already.

        I agree with the other commenters. She’s in dire need of an image makeover (or makeunder). I don’t understand pretty women who uglify and cheapen themselves with drag queen makeup, obvious weaves, and too much self-tanner. It’s so artificial. Platinum blonde hair and orange skin aren’t found together in nature, ladies. Is she only surrounded by sycophants, with no real friends to tell her the truth?

        Of course, all of it would be excusable if she had a nice personality to go with her fantastic voice.

  6. Samigirl says:

    Yes and yes.

    I just can’t get over the photoshop job on her body! It’s insanely obvious. At first glance, it kinda looks like Lilo :-/

  7. Mandy says:

    I don’t know what it is about Christina, I just don’t buy the image she tries to sell of herself. It’s like she’s always pretending to be this “edgy” singer. She has a great voice, but she’s still just BLAH. She actually just comes off as a major B for the most part.

  8. Hakura says:

    This is just a disappointment… Not really anything catchy like her older work (a la Stripped). I don’t know if she’ll ever get back to that level of creative originality. She has an awesome voice when she does.

    But why do all her songs have to be about sex? I mean, there’s more to life to write about. It just gets boring.

    @Samigirl – Totally agree, it does look like Lilo =

  9. Mava says:

    I don’t hate the song, will probably end up listening to it on those nights out drinking with the girls. But seriously, the unedited version is not “love” your body. You are a grown woman with a son Christina, stop this. I really want to continue being a fan since I loved Stripped and Back to Basics, but this just sounds like every other wanna-be edgy pop singer clinging desperately to their youth.

    Plus she can actually sing, she doesn’t need this sexy-for-attention crap.

  10. Memory30 says:

    “Snookie’s Scandinavian cousin” Joan Rivers lmao

  11. LucyOriginal says:

    It’s catchy, but not the best Christina song. She can do better. But last time she tried to be edgy, etc, and she got a huge backlash from Gaga’s fans saying she was copying Gaga. *cough*

    Yes, She is trying to follow J.Lo come back. JL’s hustle is one to admire. But here is the difference between these two:
    Christina can actually sing. But J.Lo can hide her diva ways having so much more charisma with the public, and Christina doesn’t have that much of a charisma. So, charisma wins over talent.

    ps: I liked stripped and back to basics. But I personally never liked Christina because she comes off as a b*tch and always bringing her personal drama to justify her ways…

  12. LeeLoo says:

    Her makeup is looking less clownish these days but she still needs to ditch the blonde rat’s nest weave and go dark. She would look amazing if she went dark. I’ve also noticed in the Xtina articles and photos in the past few months that she is dressing better and looks healthier and less bloated. I wonder if she is sobering up?

  13. virginia says:

    lolol,as if christinia is that skinny!

  14. MrsBPitt says:

    “I’ve been through a lot since my last album” Puh-lease!

  15. skinbis says:

    she didnt write it

  16. Sookie says:

    Very j-lo ish. And this song is all about a one night stand. F$&@ your body! Overplayed, over done: and I don’t think it even has a good dance beat. Meh.

    • deehunny says:

      I was just thinking the same thing. It’s not something I would put on for a night on the town with some friends because I can’t really dance to it. At least I can dance to auto-tuned JLo

  17. Jayna says:

    I like the unedited version better.

  18. L says:

    ugh, boring.

    It’s hard for me because I’m actually a Xtina fan. She’s got the pipes. She’s actually pretty under all that makeup.

    She is also severely lacking in true self-confidence. She needs to stop wearing the makeup that’s been applied with a shovel. Lay off the vodka or whatever else she’s drinking these days. Style her hair without the excessive bleaching and weaves. Find some damn pants, wear a bra, and start dressing for her 31 year old body, not one of a 22 year old. She over sings alot of time when she doesn’t need to. The girl can sing-so need to do the acrobatics of a less talented singer. All of this put on attitude, terrible styling, and over singing just screams someone who has no sense of self worth.

    And it pisses me off as she really is pretty and talented and she wastes it.

    • Amanda G says:

      I totally agree with this. Stripped was an amazing album and still one of my favorites to this day. That was the only time she actually was edgy and had attitude. Now it’s all fake. I wish she would have gotten a head to toe makeover before this album. I can’t stand to look at her anymore. Too much makeup, too much bloat from booze and too tight of a dress!

    • Amanda G says:

      This song is terrible…. Worse than her Bionic stuff! I don’t see it going anywhere on the charts…

    • Blannie says:

      You nailed it. She’s wasting a lot of talent which is too bad. I wish I had her pipes.

      This song needs to be speeded up, then it would sound better…it’s too slow.

  19. Luls says:

    Actually Kaiser, it’s interesting you’re comparing her to J.Lo, because I would listen to this latest pop/dance song of hers ANY day over J.Lo’s latest crap album. And that applies to all of Christina’s ‘mediocre’ tracks.

    IMHO, where Christina falters is in her image and marketing. She needs to hire J.Lo or Britney’s manager. Those fellows seriously work miracles. Particularly since Christina isn’t as naturally likeable as other pop tarts.

    • Hakura says:

      I am (Well…was…) a big Christina fan ever since ‘Genie In A Bottle‘ all those years ago… But you’re right about her not being as naturally likable.

      Something about her comes across sort of… Cold? Kind of ‘Ice queen‘ (just from what we see of her in the media). Definitely not someone I’d feel comfortable ‘approaching’, where-as I definitely would with Britney (who seems genuinely friendly).

  20. Kayla says:

    I like this song a lot. It sounds like she’s struggling to hit those notes in the chorus though.

  21. hmm says:

    NOSTRILS. EXTENSIONS. NOSTRILS.

  22. Anaya says:

    Your Body was co-written/produced by Max Martin. He’s the guy who has written a lot of Britney Spears’ hits. I don’t think the song is good but it isn’t bad. I expected it to be better than it is based on who wrote it but it’s not. She needs a hit really bad but sadly this isn’t it. She should stick to singing ballads since those are her strongest songs.

  23. Isabel says:

    Fuck your body sounds like she is gonna fuck a corpse. Why doesn’t she just say:
    ‘I wanna fuck you’. The adding of ‘your body’ makes it sound like necrophilia.

    Not that odd, since she can only get a guy hard by killing him first (HA!).

  24. Reece says:

    I don’t hate it.

  25. Diva says:

    I like it. Its catchy. I’m interested to see what the new album sounds like. Bionic had some decent songs on it but I hope its better than that.

  26. Martin says:

    BORING!!!

  27. Camille (TheOriginal) says:

    Meh, average and forgettable.

  28. music says:

    American Idol did nothing for jlo career but put more money into her bank account, her album and movie still flop big time, as for christina I think , her career will be fine one bad album doesn’t make your career, her burlesque sound track has actually sold will and people actually respect her as a artist.

    • Hakura says:

      I (& a lot of others here that I’ve seen comments from) just feel she’s being incredibly overly try-hard. She’s so hung up on her appearance/being sexy-naughty/outrageous for the last 2 albums, that it’s sort of over-shadowed her actual voice/singing.

      Which is a real shame, given that she actually has a voice she could be using to promote herself, as opposed to running around in her underwear (the burlesque thing) singing about sex with some random stranger.

      I know it’s just song lyrics, but that whole concept is just disgusting. She’s sure become a lovely role model for young women.

      This is just my opinion of course.

  29. Aileen says:

    I think it’s okay. At least it’s fun. And it would be fun in a club. Everyone always criticizes her stuff when it first comes out. I remember when people hated “stripped” and they just wanted her to do another “genie in a bottle”. Now they want her to do another “stripped”! It takes a while to get used to the change in musical direction. I just hope she can be herself in the video and not try to be Madonna 20 something years ago.Or even worse, pretend to be a 20 something.

    And yes, the “I’m a super sexy horny sexual woman” thing is a little old now. It’s like people discover sex or good sex and they can’t let the issue go.

  30. Isa says:

    I’m just so sick of people singing about sex. I love sex. It’s great fun. But I’m tired of everything being so sexualized.

    • orange says:

      OMG YES! It’s to the point where it’s ridiculous. I swear, every time I turn on the radio someone is talking about sex, or singing about it. Same with TV, movies and pretty much every other form of media. We were in the grocery store last night and there is a “50 Shades of Grey” MAGAZINE! I don’t have a problem with sex but that doesn’t mean it needs to be shoved in everyone’s face 24/7. Yes, people have sex and that’s great but do we need to hear about it endlessly? It just seems so classless and overplayed, there HAS to be something else to talk about, right?

  31. Mum says:

    Xtina’s biggest problem is her marketing. I wonder which demographic will pick this album up and buy it?? Christina your fans are older now, as are you, please age gracefully with us..

  32. Happy21 says:

    Meh!

    Christina has a phenomenal voice but I find she tries to hard to be hip and edgy that she loses something along the way. I honestly think she could do with releasing an album with moderately upbeat but still sad, slow songs and she would sell millions.

    Look at Adele! She released an album of not-dancy crap and she broke records and made a gazillion dollars because that’s the type of music that suits her style. I think Christina needs to find her niche and dance music is not it. There is far too much competition out there in the pop/dance market these days.

    • Darth says:

      Totally agree with you! Xtina’s biggest artistic triumph was her Stripped & Back to Basics period where she went in a different direction than her pop peers and people ended up respecting her for it and loving her music. Don’t know why she doesn’t understand that. There are just TOO many dance/pop tarts out there right now, and people are growing tired of it. I think that’s part of why everyone went so crazy for Adele. Xtina needs to go back to giving us emotional & beautiful songs like that because she does it better than anyone. Her & Sia make a perfect writing duo. Their songs together are so haunting & amazing, and don’t sound like anything else that’s being done by other artists. She needs to make a full album with her, it would be phenomenal! It would also be the ONE way for her to outdo Lady CaCa & show the world why we need a Christina Aguilera.

  33. Random Devotchka says:

    I am not feeling this song at all. It sounds more like background music and not a hit single. I really have not liked anything she has done since “Back to Basics.” I do think she LOOKED her best for her “Bionic” album. : )

  34. paul esposito says:

    you are kidding right? christina has more talent in her pinkie then jlo has in her whole body. So let me get this straight, britney, demi, nikki m and mariah join musical shows AFTER christina and they are praised and christina is bashed? Scratch off you loser. Lotus will come out and be a smash. your body is already in the top 5 of itunes in less than 24 hours. i think you already know her name.

  35. ok says:

    Christina Snookilera’s problems are
    1.she always tries to keep up by not getting better material for those great pipes she has.
    2.Her image has taking a beating because she didn’t just gain some weight she besides the boob implants,nose job,an obvious face fillers she got butt implants all on that 5’1 frame so people are feeling the fakeness when all she keeps blabbing about is loving her body and her weight and yet she had to buy those things to get her body that way or she would still be that skinny girl.
    3.Her Marilyn Monroe wannabe image has not ceased for 9 years she’s been channling Marilyn for so long in every comment.magazine spread,music video.hairstyle,eyebrow shape,red lips.to tight outfits in hopes of becoming the stunning legend and yet has only managed to be critized and compared to Snookie or hatchet face.
    4.her attitude is horrible she’s mean about everything.
    5.She lies constantly like recent saying she doesn’t read blogs but she does or she wouldn’t have gone off on the public calling them buttf…k haters so telling the truth is hard for her.
    6.if she wants the public to like her she needs to get more real and stop coming off so fake,fake laugh,fake comments,just fake all around she needs to hire a new stylist and surround herself with music writers that will help her get better material.