Taylor Swift: ‘If it doesn’t taste like candy or sparkles, I usually don’t drink it’

Taylor Swift has yet another interview in a major magazine – earlier today, I already covered some early excerpts from her Rolling Stone piece too, and now here she is in Esquire. You would think that Esquire speaking to Swifty would be 10 kinds of wrong, considering that Esquire’s target audience is probably “men in their 30s or 40s, who listen to jazz or classic rock.” Basically, the Esquire audience would probably want nothing to do with Swifty’s sparkle-pony routine in any way, shape or form. But the piece is actually half-decent, mostly because Swifty and the interviewer have a decent rapport, and there are some good quotes that come out of it. You can read the full piece here, but I’m including the whole thing anyway (it’s short and breezy):

ESQUIRE: How’s it feel to be named a Woman We Love?
TAYLOR SWIFT: That made me so happy when I heard that. That’s awesome.

ESQ: We should celebrate by talking about your new album (Red, out October 22).
TS: It’s a sonic departure from what I did on my last album. So I’m so excited that people really embraced the sound of the first single ["We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"].

ESQ: That title’s a bit long, don’t you think?
TS: We had lots and lots of discussions about what to call this song. For me, from the time I wrote it, it was always “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

ESQ: It certainly seems more final and authoritative this way.
TS: It’s very final, it’s very aggressive, and it’s not subtle.

ESQ: And you didn’t use parentheses, which I appreciate.
TS: People don’t know what to say when there are parentheses.

ESQ: This was your first time topping the Billboard Hot 100, right?
TS: Yeah, to have that happen was a serious jumping-up-and-down-screaming moment for me. I didn’t want to peak at 18.

ESQ: Are you worried about peaking at 22?
TS: I’m always worried about everything. Like spiders. Right now, I’m worried about that.

ESQ: Do you worry what you’ll do when you run out of breakups to write about?
TS: This is breaking news, but there are a few happy songs on this album. I do explore the emotion every once in a while. I’d like to think you don’t stop being creative once you get happy. My ultimate goal is to end up being happy. Most of the time.

ESQ: I’m not your typical fan, but I do like this first song. It’s catchy.
TS: Yay! We brainwashed you!

ESQ: What about you? Do you ever read Esquire?
TS: Yeah. You guys are really cool and slick. Sharp, even.

ESQ: Do you like peaty, smoky Scotch? We’re doing something on that this month.
TS: I don’t drink much alcohol. If it doesn’t taste like candy or sparkles, I usually don’t drink it.

ESQ: Few things taste less like candy and sparkles.
TS: Wine sometimes, because it makes me feel classy, but not Scotch. Not yet.

ESQ: Do you think this interview will get more stylish men to come to your shows?
TS: I would love that. I love the suspenders and plaid pants and whatever. Hair that’s combed.

ESQ: That sounds about right. Do you ever get tired of being sweet?
TS: When I am talking to people who I feel don’t like me or are mean, I get really shy and I kind of curl up personality-wise.

ESQ: And you can always write a song.
TS: Yeah, run and hide, cower for a second, process, then write a song about it.

ESQ: Which is a pretty great “I win.”
TS: It’s a fun move to pull. I like it.

ESQ: Do you ever warn boyfriends that they could end up in a song?
TS: No. If they stick around, then great, they’re kind of like signing a release form.

ESQ: Seems fair to me.

[From Esquire]

“If it doesn’t taste like candy or sparkles, I usually don’t drink it.” What do sparkles taste like? I imagine they taste gritty. Right? And Swifty made me laugh with this – “I’m always worried about everything. Like spiders. Right now, I’m worried about that.” That’s just a funny way to answer the question, I think. As for this – “If they stick around, then great, they’re kind of like signing a release form”… oh, Swifty. Girl, you wrong.

And I seriously can’t believe Esquire made Swifty one of their “Women We Love”. Esquire is desperately trying to skew younger, but this is not the way to do it.

Photos courtesy of Esquire, WENN.

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65 Responses to “Taylor Swift: ‘If it doesn’t taste like candy or sparkles, I usually don’t drink it’”

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  1. Nola says:

    Ok Now swiftly is trolling the media.

  2. Kimlee says:

    She really needs to stop talking, every time she opens her mouth she get mentally younger and younger. Right know her comment sounds like they came from a 8 year old.

  3. keats says:

    Uhh I thought Kaiser’s account got hacked with that headline.

  4. Skipper says:

    I hate when song titles have parentheses.

  5. lilred says:

    Can’t imagine sparkles taste anything but toxic…
    Sort of fits don’t you think.

    • Layale says:

      Unless she’s referring to RPatz…he might not taste toxic. Then again, if he’s been with KStew, maybe he does! ;)

    • The Original Genevieve says:

      Well, no one’s ever implied there was *anything* sophisticated about Swifty, lol. I mean, kitty shoes?

      I still think this girl is shady as hell.

  6. FreeSpiritedGirl says:

    *Cough cough* when she said sparkles, my mind went right to Rob Pattinson. Lol.

  7. flan says:

    Wonder when her teeth will start falling out.

  8. marie says:

    what the hell is she wearing in that bottom picture? dreadful, pleats are very rarely a good idea.

    And I will admit, that she comes across as harmless, cute even in this interview. Is her music even considered country anymore though?

    Oh, one thing I did think when reading the “candy and sparkle” comment is that she probably has an air freshner that smells like unicorn farts.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      I know-it make me angry to admit that she did well with this interview.

      The pleats are SO bad. I mean, this girl probably weighs 100 lbs soaking wet and she looks almost large here with the pleats.
      Ok, maybe not “large”, but you know what I mean…pleats are as flattering as peplums, that is to say, not at all.

  9. Blue says:

    I really like that coat.

    • Lucy says:

      Oh, I don’t. I was thinking it looked old lady-ish.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      I LOVE the color of the blue coat, but I wish it was more fitted.

      A brightly-colored wool coat is on my shopping list right now.

      • Blue says:

        Ya, the colour is what I love more than the actual coat style.

      • Lauren says:

        Taylor is trying so damn hard to become a Kennedy with her granny clothes. Carolyn Bessette was stunning and wore flattering clothes with simple lines. Taylor is tall just like CB was, but these clothes are dreadful. Taylor is a horny devil in granny frocks.

  10. Ruby Red Lips says:

    My question is: is she really as dumb as she sounds or is this a media ploy??

    Watched her on Jonathan Ross & she was more than stupid…

    • keats says:

      As if someone stupid could write lyrics like ‘weeeee are never EVER getting back together.’ Pff.

  11. Brown says:

    Wow…. I think Swifty might have been trolling here. It comes off a bit sarcastic. Well played, Swifty.

  12. diana says:

    I thought sparkles meant champagne…
    I love Taylor Swift. She comes off as intelligent and sensitive person to me in her interviews. And most of you will laugh at me, but apart from her relationship choices, she appears to be very mature for her age to me. The way she sidestepped that peaking at 22 question is epic.
    And she appears grounded, no faux-rebellion and accepts that she wants to be a rolemodel.
    I love her lyrics too *running away afap*

    • LeslieM says:

      Right. Champaign or any sweet drink with ginger ale sparkle. This girl is only 22. She is barely able to drink anyway. She’s a big success and except for the age of her boyfriend has been a pretty good role model. She’s just like any other 22 year old finding her way.

    • sharylmj says:

      ITA!! I love Taylor and her music! I hope she stays this way for a long time. The only drama she has is her choice of men/boys so far… but I feel like she’s figuring it out… we will never ever (HAHAHA) see or hear pictures of her partying all night, which I am happy about. Great role model!!! we need more Taylors!!!

  13. Riana says:

    Hah! Nice interview, it does seem like she was being a little trolly – which is good. I imagine sparkling referring to things like ‘sparkling cider’ sweet and bubbly.

    Eitherway the interview had some edge (for Swift) cute but please Kaiser…2 posts in one day is too much.

  14. You says:

    Stop please.

  15. Lupe says:

    Believe it or not, I think there’s a lot of men in Esquire’s target demo that think Swifty is hot stuff, especially with the super-preppy, Kennedy-inspired wardrobe she’s been sporting as of late. Fashionable or no, the Esquire man is a traditionalist in some sense, and Taylor is the embodiment of traditional femininity: silly, sweet, emotional, and relatively harmless. Sounds less to me like the interviewer thinks she’s in on the joke, more like he’s patronizing her.

    For the record, I don’t find Swifty that offensive. I think it takes all kinds, and if she want to be miss 1950s sugar and spice, by all means, girl, have at it. I’ll just have my Cat Powers and the like instead, thank you.

    • Roma says:

      I was coming to say the same thing.

      If you don’t follow gossip incessantly, Taylor is a nice break from the trashy reality girls. My brother is 35, knows nothing of her stalking and often comments that he likes the way she dresses. So, there’s that.

  16. hoya_chick says:

    “What do sparkles taste like?”

    HA! This is the first thing I thought when I read what she said. SMH. How long will the facade last? Until she is 30? 35? It’s so grating and fake. I didn’t really have any feelings about her either way when she first came out but she has become so insufferable.

  17. Green_Eyes says:

    Someone please sent Her back to 1950…. Her unicorn ponies and sparkly things schtick is old & getting to be dangerously close to a fetish in some ages. Yet her fan base are teens. I dont have kids but if I did… I don’t know if I would want my young teen going to a concert where let’s face it a 30 yr old Taylor still sings in videos as if at a high school party and one of the kids, and gives interviews about liking sparkly drinks and unicorn ponies…sneaking off and signing out her high school boyfriend… As Conner grew up and she didn’t… Just saying… I didn’t drink alcohol at her age but I didn’t sound like a twelve year old about it either….

  18. Nessa says:

    I just wish this girl would go away. Ugh.

  19. Green_Eyes says:

    Wtf is up w/ the lil girl pose & pout in 1st photo… Is she still trying to be a teen? She’s closer to 23 than 18 and no offense she’s been around the world and lived a lil. That’s more acting in the top pic than she did in that movie she was in..

  20. stephanie says:

    why the hate? I think she sounds kind of clever and fun. “if they stick around for a while, it’s like signing a release form.” I also like that first pic of her. I prefer candy and sparkles to, say, LiLo or Amy Winehouse.

  21. EmmaStoneWannabe says:

    I like the slight sarcastic tone of the interview. It’s cheeky. She is apparently confident in who she is and pokes fun at herself a bit. Pretty awesome quality.

  22. KC says:

    I hate her. Her M.O. seems to be dating men, so she can diss them in her music. She is the black widow of pop music.

  23. bettyrose says:

    In all fairness, at her age I only liked sugary drinks myself, but we used cool names to sound more badass – two words girl: cuba libre. It is both sugary and fizzy. You’ll like it.

  24. Sara says:

    Why Taylor Swift… really… I mean,.. Esquire? she should be on seventeen or teen vogue, not Esquire.

  25. J says:

    The takeaway: John Mayer’s dong tastes like candy and sparkles. No wonder Swifty AND Katy Perry both hit that with enthusiasm.

  26. lower-case deb says:

    good thing she used the word “or” instead of “and”.

    RPatz is waiting for you. He tastes like sparkles or armpits.

    one out of two ain’t bad, hey.

  27. A says:

    Huh. I actually like this interview quite a bit…she’s clearly trolling, which is kind of hilarious. I’ve always thought Swifty was stupid/smart. Stupid with men and her view on love, but smart when it comes to handling her image and her business. While a lot of people find her wholesome unicorn sparkles thing annoying, a hell of a lot don’t…and she is aware of that.

  28. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    I remember when I got that root canal
    all that candy lead me to a world of hell
    I said I need a sparkling cute dentist
    and don’t accuse me of inventing this

    So here I am in a reclining chair
    wanting Dr Chew to notice my hair
    and he’s acting like he just doesn’t care
    sometimes life really isn’t all that fair

    He seems more interested in the drill
    and hoping that his coffee doesn’t spill
    nitrous oxide’s got me seeing purple doves
    he’s got my tainted lip stick on his glove

    Oh oh and where is connor oh I need him now
    he just don’t understand what this is all about
    even though he ate some candy too oo oo
    he didn’t get a cavity and that is really makin me blue ’cause he should have one too

  29. TheOneAndOnlyOnly says:

    Have the same question too ruby red lips funny you should mention Jonathan Ross show a previous Swifty thread posters also mentioned watching her and not believing she could be that stupid, unintelligent or as they said “thick.” She’s an industry and has handlers to massage and tweek every public display. She’s not smart in the least – when was the last time you heard her quote or reference any book, mag, newspaper, journal of opinion, musician, poet, etc. never. She has outstanding image makers for her naive fans.
    Keats I seriously doubt she knows who John Keats is – He didn’t write about fairy dust and plush ponies.
    Oh, and I love the quote about embracing the sound of the first single: in what solar system is that cloying piece of poo even decent music?

  30. j.eyre says:

    “Swifty and the interviewer have a decent rapport” – I disagree. I think Mr. Martin is taking her to task and I may possibly propose to him for it. I have not read the full interview so I will be back to apologize if I am wrong but his questions seem like they are trying to showcase her pretension – and then skewer her with it.

    • Minty says:

      I think you’re right. There was a bit of condescension in his questions:

      “Do you worry what you’ll do when you run out of breakups to write about?”

      “Do you think this interview will get more stylish men to come to your shows?”

      I hate to admit it, but she answered his questions well without sounding defensive. Still, her image is as manufactured as her competitors: Gaga, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Ke$ha, etc. I’m no longer young enough to be fooled by that BS. If your songs suck, you suck, no matter how carefully crafted your image or how often you’re overhyped. Taylor can’t perform live. She sings off-key (Grammy duet with Stevie Nicks).

  31. skuddles says:

    This is actually a story?

  32. dooliloo says:

    Wait… she hates Spiders? Isn’t she like a black widow who “murders” each of her exes in her songs? Ironic much?

  33. the original bellaluna says:

    Thank you. Now we know you don’t swallow.

    Please go away. And leave Conor alone. That kid’s been through enough.

  34. Veronica says:

    Taylor Swift reminds me of that one episode of Boy Meets World when Eric breaks up with the singer and she writes that song…

    “He’s a loser freak loser freak, he’s a maladjusted woman hating loser freak…”


    • EmmaStoneWannabe says:

      haah I do! She was all sunny and cheery. Then Eric dumps her and she becomes all goth and sneering at him..so redic lol

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Veronica, reading those lyrics, it was set to the tune of Rick James’ “Superfreak!” (I don’t recall that particular episode, but that’s what went through my head.) :)

  35. Ramona Q. says:

    At least Taylor acts like a wholesome woman-child, which is much more positive than Katy Perry’s effed up sexy, whore-child image!

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      I don’t know..the fact that they both have carefully constructed artificial images, period, grates on my nerves.

      Would be nice to see a REAL woman, complicated and dimensional, but alas, not likely in the pop world.

  36. orion70 says:

    Give me a nice peaty Scotch any day.

  37. gg says:

    She’s certainly likeable, but girlene still can’t sing. At some point, she’s going to have to work on honing and maturing her voice. She cannot possibly keep this up and be singing this same way when she’s 30, surely?????

    • I'm going to Guam! says:

      I don’t know about that….look at that ukulele woman, what’s her face….hipster…anthropology…Zooey Deschanel!
      She’s what? 30 something? And still doing that cutesy twee thing.
      Zooey has a nice(er) voice though so I shouldn’t be so harsh but her twee thing is annoying.