Keanu Reeves looks scruffy at the ‘Cloud Atlas’ premiere: would you hit it?

I tend to forget that Keanu Reeves is a “Forever Dong” for many of you. I like Keanu a great deal, but he’s a genuinely private celebrity, which means that there’s rarely good gossip about him these days, and there usually isn’t an opportunity to write about him. But Keanu was out last night to support his Matrix buddies, Andy & Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski at their LA premiere of Cloud Atlas. Keanu looked great! Even with his mild alopecia barbae (scruffy beard). So, enjoy your Forever Dong. PS… Keanu is not IN Cloud Atlas, he just came to the premiere to support his friends.

Here’s Tom Hanks (who is in the film) and his wife Rita Wilson. I don’t love Tom with a mustache, but I love Tom in general, so I’ll take this version of him. I don’t like Rita’s hairstyle.

Speaking of unconvincing mustaches, um… here’s Jim Sturgess. I’ve never been into him, but I have had moments where I thought, “Wow, he looks like a too-pretty pillow-weeper.” This is not one of those times. (“Pillow-Weeper” = the kind of dude who cries after sex.) This mustache is totally 1970s. He looks like a sleazy 1970s pimp in a Dirty Harry movie. PS… Why does he actually look like he’s been crying? PILLOW WEEPER 4 EVA.

And here’s one of my forever dongs, British actor James D’Arcy. This guy… I love him. He’s right up there with Benedict Cumberbatch for me, and I relish the chance to talk about him or post photos of him. He has a major role in Cloud Atlas, and I hope to see more of him in years to come. THIS is my type – tall, English, dark hair and light eyes, lanky frame. This is my Dong Kryptonite.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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84 Responses to “Keanu Reeves looks scruffy at the ‘Cloud Atlas’ premiere: would you hit it?”

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  1. Jayna says:

    Why would I? He’s gay. He has never had a girlfriend publically except one. His one girlfriend doesn’t change that for me. He lives his life the way he wants to, so I respect that.

    • Mia 4S says:

      “Why would I?”

      So you can’t fantasize about a man you believe (again, with zero proof and no comment from the man himself) to be gay? OK then.

      He’s been spotted with a few presumed girlfriends over the years but I assume you are talking about the one who died in an accident not long after their daughter was stillborn? There are a lot of reasons Keanu’s private life isn’t gossiped about.

    • cilla says:

      He had many one-nights-stands when he was in Australia (2002). As far as I know only with girls. But even if he would be gay or bi… why couldn’t you fantasize about a man you will never meet anyway?

      • Jayna says:

        Sorry. I kind of phrased it wrong. I never find any sexual energy from him on screen, no matter whether he’s straight, bi, gay. He’s a little on the boring side that way on screen for me.

        But as far as gay men in general, there really aren’t any gay men I fantasize about because I know they aren’t looking at me with lust and desire, so why would I them, knowing they would be fantasizing about men during sex with me. I can always admire their gorgeousness, though.

    • andy says:

      Everyday on this site, a male celebrity is accused by posters of being gay. Blind items and privacy about their love lives are used as proof of their homosexuality.

      Just because he is private and isn’t photographed frequently doesn’t mean that he doesn’t date. Keanu doesn’t have to inform you of his dating life. If he was photographed with a woman, you would just accuse her of being a beard.

      Hell, Dolly Parton has been married to her husband Carl since 1966, but the couple is rarely seen together. What is Dolly hiding?

      • Jayna says:

        Actually, I am one of the few on here that never accuse a celeb of being gay, not Tom, not George, on and on. Okay. John Travolta is bi or gay, but we all know that.

        I have wondered if Keanu is gay as time has gone on and think he might be but could be entirely wrong, for sure But I really could care less one way or the other. He lives his life privately for sure and that’s refreshing.

      • Ashley says:

        “Why would I? He’s gay.”

        “Actually, I’m one of the few on here that never accuse a celeb of being gay.”

        Girl, you just did. Hypocrite much?

  2. Cam S says:

    Keanu still rides his bike and takes the subway. Yes, yes I’d cuddle it. I’d cuddle it HARD

    • Merman says:

      Yup,he seems like a really nice guy.I always remember these photos of him spending time with a homeless guy,talking and drinking with him.He truly is the exception.

  3. Christina says:

    Would I? Yes, and then some.

  4. V4Real says:

    I love Keanu and all his scruffy glory. He has been in my top five for years now. I know people like to rag on him about his acting ability but I don’t think his acting is that bad; perhaps his performances don’t come accross as strong as they should but I’ve seen worse. I also have to get in people’s asses about the gay rumors.

    I have watched Street Kings over 10 times and said if I was to ever be in a threesome with two guys, Keanu and Chris Evans would be my choice everytime.

  5. Apples says:

    Yes. If only because I recently rewatched his movie, Speed.

    OMG he was so hot in that.

    • CarrieUK says:

      HA! Same here, watched it last weekend and hell yes he’s so hot in Speed it’s actually painful!

      • Apples says:

        I know! Pain.

        I never remember him effecting me that much when I watched it initially. His actions/mannerisms were so cute, too.

        Seriously, peeps need to rewatch him in that movie to realize.

    • NYC_girl says:

      I was just thinking he was very hot c.Speed. Hot, hot, hot.

  6. RuddyZooKeeper says:

    Grey suit. Salt-and-pepper temples. Keep your young men. Weathered and experienced wins EVERY time. Yum.

  7. marie says:

    Keanu no, but James D’Arcy hard forever and always.

  8. Hautie says:

    My, that is a shiny suit Mr. Hanks is wearing. But I do enjoy him so, I am going to let that shiny suit go by. Without being snarky.

    Keanu has always fought off the “hot”. So when he gets all cleaned up and puts on the suit. I swoon.

  9. neareeman says:

    how come that Keanu’s documetary (side by side) has never been featured here but when Brad Pitt showed his documentary you talked about it? you know that keanu’s doc is receiving so many accolades, and the academy is seriousely considering short-listing it for an oscar? well i made that up but industry insiders are talking about it… brad who?

  10. Apples says:

    Yes on James D’arcy!!!!

    Love his profile lip area, too. Weird I know- I notice and like the strangest things.

  11. The Real Jenny says:

    Tom Hanks looks like Colonel Sanders in that picture.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Have you seen The Ladykillers? Because that is some SERIOUS Col. Sanders sh!t!!

      • RobN says:

        Tom would appreciate it if you didn’t mention Ladykillers. He’s trying really hard to forget that ever happened. So am I.

    • Kaitlin says:

      I think he has that mustache because he’s filming a movie where he plays Walt Disney. I just love him. (Tom not Walt)

  12. the original bellaluna says:

    Keanu & Tom, all the way!!! 😀 And maybe that last twink for dessert.

  13. Heebeegeebee says:


  14. Mia 4S says:

    Tom’s mustache is for that movie where he is playing Walt Disney, Keanu’s beard is for a movie, and…dear God I hope Jim Sturgess’s mustache is for a movie!

  15. neareeman says:

    oh! by the way, november will be ‘movember’ tell your boyfriend to grow a mo (mustache) to raise awarness to prostate cancer and more male diseses… a website is dedicated to the cause

    • Melissa says:

      Sadly, I think I could grow more of a mustache than my husband – maybe I should let it grow out next month!

  16. Green is Good says:

    Lol @ “Forever Dong”!

  17. Jayna says:

    Nah. He seems to be a loner and I believe gay. But who knows? I have never seen him with a girlfriend ever, sans that one period. I do love how he lives his life, though, in New York. I have several friends who see him around all the time, just living a lowkey life, having lunch or whathaveyou, never Mr. Big Movie Star attitude.

    But I loved that movie with Sandra Bullock and him. Not the bus one, though, I loved it. The one where they write letters and find each other at the end. I thought both were wonderful in it and it’s a great rainy day home movie. I’ve seen it like three times when it’s come on TV.

    • neareeman says:

      it’s called the lake house…beautiful movie (a reboot of a korean one that i didn’t see). i don’t understand why it wasn’t a hit on the box office but you might be right : on a rainy day, on one’s couch is better than in a cinema

      • Jayna says:

        That’s the name. I loved it. Keanu did a great job in it, as did Sandra. I actually even loved it better the second time. Slower movies often do that for me, some of the nuances of scenes or the storyline or performances stand out even more the second time around.

      • j.eyre says:

        Oh my stars – I love that movie. I feel amongst friends now.

        All my other friends (you know, the tangible ones)laugh at me for this so I carry my love for Lake House around as some dark secret reserved for Victorian drama.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        I’m truly amongst friends. I cried real tears when I saw that my Lake House DVD was split in half. (I have no f*cking idea. I don’t even know how that happened, but I SUSPECT it went the way of The Notebook – acerbic teenagers.)

      • j.eyre says:

        @OBella – got the nails done today so I am back to short sleeves – how are you faring?

        (ps – I went with Lilac Crackle for my witch costume next week.)

    • francesca1 says:

      Oh, me too! Me too! I love love LURVE that movie. Especially the part where he’s wearing the turtleneck under the blazer and they are dancing in the backyard? Tantalizing.

      • LucyOriginal says:

        I love the lake house too! I have the DVD. Keanu and Sandra have great chemistry on screen don’t they? he also has great chemistry with Charlize Theron (The devil’s advocate and Sweet November).

  18. dcypher1 says:

    Keanu is still hitable. Hes aged well.

    • TwoHearts says:

      He’s aged well indeed. The man has got to have a deal with the devil that his portait ages instead of him, Dorian Gray style. He probably only peeks at it every decade, so he looks like he’s aged, but only enough to keep people from getting suspicious.

      • Jayna says:

        He’s aged in a way I would have thought Johnny Depp would have. Depp has the same amount of lines, not many, and strong profile, but Depp is just looking worn to me and messy and kind of kitschy with his same offbeat look that he wears clotheswise. Keanu always, scruffy or not, still always has a classic look I like in men.

  19. j.eyre says:

    yes, yes I would.

  20. effy says:

    Keanu forever!

  21. Miss Kiki says:

    Yes, yup, always and forever, I do. Hear that Keanu? I DOOOOOOO

  22. sarah says:

    Yes yes, a million times YES. lol.

  23. aims says:

    i love him!! he very private, shy and low key. a virgo to boot.

    he’s also a kick ass person. he’s had some really hard things happen to him, and manages to still be kind, giving and normal. i’ve heard he’s one of the nicest people in hollywood. that makes him really hot too me.

  24. StormsMama says:

    Got to meet him and even party with him in Chicago when he was filming the lakehouse. He was secretly dating his costar (not Sandra; the other girl!) Lynn Collins. Lucky lucky girl.
    He was uber hot in person. A real dream come true. A year later when I met him again LA at the premiere he was kind of a d-ck and seemed coked up. I don’t know what I expected (him to say he was hoping of be there! He loves me! Etc haha) but it was crushing. In LA he was just another a-hole 🙁
    Still, I’d dump my man and marry him IN A HOT SECOND. STILL LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM. KEANU FOREVER 😀

  25. JM says:

    I’d hit it hard multiple times!!!

  26. Adrien says:

    Keannu has the least sexiest facial hair ever. He has that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad style patchy beard.
    Jim Sturgess looks like a 12 year old playing dress up. He’s a decent actor so I would love to see him more in movies.

  27. Jenna says:

    Would I hit it (Keanu)? Twice on every day ending in Y! I repeatedly watch Something’s Gotta Give and The Lake House just to see him. Pretty man!

  28. Grace says:

    I’d hit it until it broke and then hit it again. I love this crazy man.

  29. kay says:

    i would hit that with the force of a thousand meteor impacts…10 on the richter scale…i would hit that until the world collapsed and reassembled. le grand le fucking sigh. what. a. hot. man. i bet this planet AND the moon that you would never ever be bored with this guy.

  30. videli says:

    Aw, Mr. D’Arcy has grey temples! A good look on him though. Seems like he’s always playing the type of young man of noble origin, good education, but no purpose in life, who tries to make alcoholism look chic. I’ll take Keanu every day. He’s a permanent resident in my large, imaginary dong harem.

  31. Ginger says:

    I still crush on him so, yep!! What’s not to love?? He is gorgeous, kind, a motorcycle enthusiast AND a musician AND an actor…he is cool in my book.

  32. claire says:

    I always think he looks handsome, scruffy or not. And he seems like a genuinely nice guy. Does he have any movies coming out? What’s he up to these days?

  33. j says:

    These pictures almost wipe my mind of that disgusting Justin/Jessica story.

  34. Eileen says:

    James D’arcy is my flavor of eyecandy, for sure. Reeves is aging very well. I admire Hanks for his amazing talent. The 2nd guy- I just shake my head over that mustache

  35. Rhonda Haley says:

    I would hit it all night long then take it out for breakfast then hit it again all day till a late evening meal, hit the bong, then hit him again.Wake up repeat…

  36. Nanea says:

    I’ve been crushing on Keanu ever since River’s Edge.

    Of course would I hit it, repeatedly. And then some.

  37. Rose says:

    Are any of you aware that there’s an internet conspiracy about Keanu Reeves not aging and everyone says he’s this actor from the 1800s, Paul Mounet…whose body was never found. It’s so funny lmao.

    I always liked Keanu! I go for those kind of looks to begin with, but I like him for being low-key and his acting is pretty darn good (although notoriously deadpan) –Constantine is a really underrated movie! And he was great in A Scanner Darkly & Something’s Gotta Give. Dammit he was Jonathan Harker in the best Dracula movie ever, with Gary Oldman! And even though Bill & Ted is silly as S#@% it’s still enjoyable.

    • ZenB!tch says:

      He was HORRIBLE as Jonathan Harker. Jonathan Harker should not speak like Bill or is it Ted?

    • myTbean says:

      Love the Paul Mounet stories – he DOES look like the paintings… maybe it’s reincarnation in action? 🙂

      I adore Keanu. He’s my kitchen pass. lol

      • Rose says:

        @ZenB!tch I think he was….I wanna say Ted. And would he have been cast as Harker if he wasn’t good in the audition at least?

        @myTbean The conspiracy is just so silly… like that old pic they found and said Nicolas Cage was a vampire hahaha. Maybe it’s reincarnation, maybe PM is an ancestor, or they’ve got a similar heritage.
        Keanu is underrated. He’s held up a good career, which is more than you can say for some who have been acting since their teens.

  38. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    The botox makes Keanu look like Ryan Reynolds.

  39. mememe says:


  40. Anoni Mus says:

    Surprisingly, to me, I’d hit that. Keanu has aged incredibly well, he’s more attractive to me now than when he was younger.

    Glad to know that his documentary is garnering good reviews. Good for him.

  41. ZenB!tch says:

    1995 called and it wants it’s outfit back

  42. loganski says:

    Absolutely! He can park his shoes under my bed anytime!!!

  43. Dredz says:

    What I admire is, there WERE so many eye candies of his generation (in the 90’s), but whatever happened to the others, they’re virtually unheard of now. The fact that he has career longevity speaks volume. Also he has a reputation of being well-mannered guy, that’s rare in Hollywood.

  44. Christina says:

    I would so hit it! I have always loved Keanu. In fact I even got a chance to meet him many years ago, when he was on tour with his then band. He was so nice and even more attractive in person. He really is just a regular guy. Very humble and sweet. Aww Jim Sturgess is normally so cute, but I am not liking that gross mustache. I hate it when guys have a mustache with an empty spot in the middle. Creeptacular.

  45. kityafey says:

    I love Keanu. I have loved him since I was a teenager and he was a teenager. I would date, shag and marry the man to death. OMG! YOU HAVE A PIC OF JAMES D’ARCY. I drop Keanu like a hot potato for one night with James.

  46. Gina says:

    Oh yes I would!

  47. Gina says:

    Oh yes I would.

  48. diane says:

    Why is no one mentioning how edible he looked in Point Break? Hot hot hot!

  49. muppet_barbershop says:

    Oh. Crap, sometimes I miss really obvious closet cases. Yeah, I guess it seems likely he’s gay…

    Goodness, he looks like a long-lost Brolin. He’s become pleasant-looking in a way I would not have expected. I wouldn’t hit it, but his face looks a lot better than it has for the last fifteenish years. He accepted that he cannot always look like a fresh-faced kid, maybe?

    I adore Jim Sturgess, and coincidentally, my guess is he wanted to look less baby-faced. This is reasonable, since he does look super-young for his age. That pornstache is of course ~not~ reasonable. But he’s no Hollywood veteran; he’s still playing around with his appearance, and will probably realize his folly soon enough.

  50. Lenka says:

    Keanu = really cute, very sexy.
    I love his films.

    Jim XY = :-((( brrrrr…..:-//
    Tom Hanks = old, not cute

  51. junebug says: