Jennifer Lopez on Casper Smart: ‘He’s like my best friend, he gives moral support’

Jennifer Lopez covers the February issue of Harper’s Bazaar, and I am outright loathing the photo shoot. It could have been so cute and amazing – Jennifer Lopez in Istanbul with sparkly clothes! And no Terry Richardson! Instead, photographer Katjia Rawles shot J.Lo exactly like Terry Richardson would have (overdone, washed-out “glam” lighting, p0rny posing), and whoever did Jennifer’s hair needs to rethink their career. A middle part with her normally bouncy, lush hair slicked down at the top? Gross. My New Year’s Resolution was to find new things to bitch about, and my list has already begun: I will now yell about bandeau bikini tops and center-parts.

As for the interview… it’s typical J.Lo. She’s a decent interview, capable of being “revealing” but not giving away everything. You can read the whole piece here, and here are some highlights:

Being on tour: “Last night I was so tired, and having to do a concert was daunting, you know? But Mom just said, ‘Close your eyes,’ and she held my hand the entire way over.” As for Max and Emme, “they are used to being around a lot of people. They’re open, happy, curious, smart, loving, affectionate. They’re”—Emme tumbles over the couch—”rambunctious.”

On Casper Smart: “He’s fantastic; he’s like my best friend. I can tell him everything, when I’m feeling down, when I’m feeling good. He gives moral support, endless love and support.”

Why she left American Idol: “But I’m not a judge for a living. I’m a singer. I’m a dancer. I’m a performer. I’m an actress. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing. It makes me a better parent, a better person.” As for the demented schedule, “I think I can just handle more than the average bear, you know?”

Her crazy entourage: When Lopez gets her J. Lo on, it’s as if she has an inbuilt wind machine. The machine around her is massive too: Along with her family and her longtime manager, Benny Medina, she has assistants, hair and makeup, security, a trainer, tour managers, and on and on. “I like the whole idea of traveling, of looking good, and doing it well,” she says. “I make it as simple and as beautiful as I can because my life is kind of big. So I pack my luggage, or dress myself, or comb my kids’ hair, pick up their clothes—that makes our life beautiful, you know? There’s something very elegant in that.” Lopez is also very disciplined: She doesn’t drink or smoke (“I’m on a natural high, baby”), avoids sugar and salt (apart from sour-cream-and-onion chips), and tries to get eight hours of sleep a night.

Jennifer doesn’t care about her tour rider: Lopez’s legendary tour-and-shoot rider remains an eye-popper. Among other requests, there’s one for a “white love seat.” But this list does Lopez a diva-like disservice. She doesn’t care if there’s a love seat or not—in fact, she bursts out laughing when you bring it up. “Oh, was there a love seat?” Nope. “I didn’t notice!” As for minions carting tons of white candles around the world? “No, never. That’s an old myth.”

Aging: Lopez describes herself as “philosophical, you know, now that I’m 25.” Wry chuckle. “When I turned 40, I was like, huh. I accept myself more now. It was much more comforting.” She characterizes her mental age as “16 to 18. That’s when I became the person that I am. Even though I didn’t realize the whole journey I would go on, I still feel all that youthfulness.”

Jennifer’s worst days: “The worst is when I’m tired. It’s the overworking, which I’ve learned to say no to. I’m not my best self. I’m at my best, I think, when I’m giving love. I feel my best, I am my best, I need my best.”

Her film, Parker, with Jason Statham: “It’s one of those action movies that’s kind of cooler, you know? It recalls Out of Sight a little bit.”

Jennifer’s style: Over the past two decades, she has evolved from a “boyish, hip-hoppy sensibility: big hoops, sneakers, tank tops, and my big curly hair. When I got into the business, I developed a love of monochromatic looks.” But then she “added that sexy element to it. Then it was classic things, movie stars, Jackie O. And now,” she says, exhaling, “all of these things mixed together, that’s my style.”

Her famous green Versace: “I have that at home,” she says. “The other day, my housekeeper put it on a mannequin in my spa, where I get my hair and makeup done. She sent me a picture. She was like, ‘You like this dress?’ Um, yeah, but I don’t know if I like it out in the house!” Smart, who has been diligently on kid watch, pipes in. “But it’s famous! It’s the most famous dress you’ve ever worn.” (Joke that Emme can wear it in a few years and he looks horrified: “Oh, God, no!”)

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

You know what always cracks me up? How much Mariah Carey hates Jennifer Lopez (and I’m sure the feeling is mutual), because they are so, so similar. Couldn’t you just hear Mariah saying something like, “I make it as simple and as beautiful as I can because my life is kind of big. So I pack my luggage, or dress myself, or comb my kids’ hair, pick up their clothes—that makes our life beautiful, you know? There’s something very elegant in that”? That self-assured praise of oneself for doing absolutely normal things? Imagine if we all talked like that? I got up this morning two minutes before my alarm went off, because it’s so elegant to do that, and then I peeled my own breakfast banana, because I am an everyday hero. Then I ate some yogurt like a boss. Then I went to my computer to work because I am just like Jesus Christ.

Photos courtesy of Katjia Rawles/Harper’s Bazaar.

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42 Responses to “Jennifer Lopez on Casper Smart: ‘He’s like my best friend, he gives moral support’”

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  1. Kattttt says:

    ‘Then I went to my computer to work because I am just like Jesus Christ.’ Oh, Kaiser, this just made my day.

  2. Birdie says:

    Omg, the last paragraph cracked me up.
    “I got up this morning two minutes before my alarm went off, because it’s so elegant to do that, and then I peeled my own breakfast banana, because I am an everyday hero.” Priceless.
    JLo has no sense of reality like most celebrities. But you know what, I would be like that,too, after a while. Because.. I could 😀

  3. Eleonor says:

    This shoot is awful! There are a lot of people who aren’t professional photographers who could do better!

    • Lee says:

      Some model wants her legs back. Cover and photos look really cheap. And JLo is just JLo she always was full od shit.

    • Gabriella says:

      Right? That’s what I was thinking! The photoshopper certainly overdid it!

      Also, did anyone notice her missing heel in the yellow dress photo?

    • Polk8dot says:

      This is the absolute worst she’s looked in years!! Whoever went crazy with the PS, did a real hatchet job on her, bwahah. Her head/face seem squished, shrunk down into such a weird proportion it is just ridiculous. What happened to her nostrils? Where did they go? Now the main part of the nose looks huge, smdh. And the body? The posing? That second pic looks like she just had a car accident and her neck is all out of alignment. I felt a pinch just looking at it.
      Seriously, this whole shoot needs to be forgotten, ASAP.
      As for the interview – Lord, I always had a dislike for her because she comes across stuck up and entitled. Who knew these were yet her most likeable qualities? SHE IS UNBEARABLE!!!
      Put a sock in it already, bi!@h! Unless you cured cancer today or saved a child’s life, you are not A HERO to anybody. Plainly, you are one to yourself, but that’s what happens if you listen to much to your immature, childish boy-toy.

  4. judyjudy says:

    She’s just….ugh.

  5. Sandra says:

    I really despise the bandeau tops and center parts too! What is it about center parts that is so unflattering?

  6. Post-It's says:

    She can’t be alone. And that’s her biggest problem. Despite being a beautiful “singer, actress, performer”, she will never be truly happy because of her insecurities.

    • epiphany says:

      Exactly. She goes on and on about this supremely self confident woman she thinks (or wishes) she was, when it’s painfully obvious to everyone else she’s massively insecure and delusional.

  7. CAJ says:

    Agreed. That last paragraph is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this website. Thanks for the laugh!!

  8. gogoGorilla says:

    Maybe I need more coffee, but I don’t think the photo shoot is that bad. It’s really not porny at all – I don’t see one crotch flash or boob desperate to be known to the world – and I think she looks pretty good. I even like her hair like that – it’s an update to her usual throwback style.

    Please note I never read the quoted text from the original sources, though (just in case she really said something stupid, LOL, and thus the irritation with her). I think most of these celebrities are way too ridiculous and self-important. I do, however, love the CB commentary surround.

    Carry on.

  9. annabelle says:

    Like her housekeeper has her cell number.

  10. truthful says:

    There have been too many reports of her diva tude and mean ways and she always makes me laugh when she acts sooooo carefree and frolicky…cause I don’t beleive it.

    she is rigid and mean to others and I just heard about an incident where she screamed at Casper the friendly ghost in front of paps.

    where there is smoke there is fire, she’s a B to be around. You couldn’t pay me to be around her, especially if she is trying to sing, LOL.

    • Veruca says:

      If she were singing into a mic with no backup… now, that’s the ONLY way I’d be in the room with that woman.

      Priceless comedy.

      Although I’d probably stand about 5 minutes of that before the overwhelming desire to slap her — elegantly, of course — would completely take over.

  11. Dahlia Verlaine says:

    Regarding the hair, that thing is a rug. It’s obvious in the picture with the fringe dress.

    What makes it all look so cheap are the heels. What’s up with those kneehigh-strappy-gladiotor and metallic-cutout-barbarella stripper heels. Is that supposed to be the thing in 2013?!

  12. ladybert62 says:

    Funny post!

    Those clothes and boots and her hair are hideous!

  13. Viv says:

    Oh Kaiser! You ate some yoghurt like a boss? Priceless!
    Best paragraph ever.This description of your everyday elegance will be printed and laminated today as my new fridge magnet.

  14. Hoya_chick says:

    Hahaha. Too funny. She’s pandering to seem normal and relatable and it’s having the opposite result. So gross. That last paragraph cracked me up. Thanks Kaiser! I don’t understand the maid story. What is she trying to say? I’m off to have some breakfast. Because I, too would like to be a boss.

  15. TG says:

    Kaiser your lats paragraph was hilarious. I like the clothes she is wearing just not the hair or the pics, especially the one with the white dress. She looks plain and boring in that pic. I wonder if part of making travel beautiful includes walking out front with her boytoy with the kids traveling behind like luggage. That is how I always see her traveling. I will never believe that she is a hands on mom or that she cares about them very much.

  16. Hautie says:

    I agree… Lopez is wearing one of her Beyonce style wigs.

    That is not her natural hair in these photographs.

    I notice about 3 years ago, that Jennifer is rarely photograph with her natural hair showing.

    And her wigs remind me of the ones Beyonce wears. So I have assumed they are using the same wig maker.

  17. TheOneAndOnly says:

    Can fashion mags please put models on their covers not overexposed famewhores like JHO; go on bellazon and the fashion spot and gaze at all the great covers with the supermodels and even second tier beauties of the 80s/90s way better than this photoshopped junk. (Check out Tatjana Patiz and Elaine Irwin on Vogue Paris early 90s breathtaking). True fashionistas (I’m not one) despise celebutards hogging the covers. THe only moral value JHO has is to make as much money as possible and screw everyone else. Why has her and her ex’s tax problems been swept under the rug?
    Birdie I peel my own bananas too, but usually before going to work; But i’ve never felt like an everyday hero – who actually writes this shit for her?

  18. Madriani's Girl says:

    They made her look like crap in these pictures.

  19. DeltaJuliet says:

    Ha! I wanted to come on and say how much I loved that whole last paragraph, and I see I am not alone.

    I am like Jesus Freakin’ Christ too! Who’da thought.

  20. G says:

    She’s insufferable and the #1 reason I didn’t watch AI.

  21. Rita says:

    “….and he has a very obedient and enthusiastic weiner.”

  22. SCREEEE says:

    Beautiful last paragraph. This bitch. Notice that she limits herself to ONE elegant, simple thing. She might brush her kids’ hair OR dress herself (gasp) OR pack her bag. What kind of life is this?!

  23. I think Jennifer is so much better looking than that cover picture. Also, she’s the world’s worst in picking men. I think she should get herself a “best” girlfriend and stop being a needy cougar to baby men who need a mama.

  24. Kristen says:

    She’s a self-obsessed jerk & fame-whore. If it weren’t for American Idol, we wouldn’t be on Round 2 of JLO overexposed – UGH.

  25. skuddles says:

    I’m not big on JLo but I do appreciate how she keeps the work she’s had done on the subtle side. You can tell there’s been a facelift (before she split with MA) and now fillers and whatever else but her looks doesn’t slap you in the face and frighten you the way it does with so many other celebs.

  26. Holden says:

    Casper Smart is making you look ridiculous, kid.

  27. serena says:

    Kaiser you cracked me up, loved the final comments. Now I’m going to sleep like a boss, LOL.

  28. missiecoco says:

    he gives you moral support, you give him a Bentley. It’s a fair arrangement

  29. Bread and Circuses says:

    Her body has it’s own “Blue Steel” pose in three of those photos.

  30. Ferdis says:

    I prefer Miriah…diva, true, but she can sing. This one, i am not sure what she can do.

  31. Itwillrain says:

    She reminds me a little of Faye Dunaway in “Mommie Dearest” in the yellow dress pic. Disturbing….

  32. lbeees says:

    Oh Kaiser, you always make me laugh. Yours is the most honest, most distinctive voice of any blogger I read. Thanks for being awesome!

    Here’s to a new year, new gossip. Who knows what 2013 will bring?