Lindsay Lohan desperate to fire Mark Heller, but no other lawyer will take her

Lindsay Lohan’s new lawyer Mark Heller is everyone’s new favorite person. It’s like he’s punking all of us, especially Lindsay Lohan. It’s not that he’s flat-out inept, it’s that he’s just as much of an attention-grabbing, ethically-challenged, delusional famewhore as Lindsay. Which is a problem, obviously. Lindsay must be the most delusional person in the room! She must be the star! She must get all of the attention! She must be the most immoral, the most unethical, the most crackie! So, obviously, Lindsay is considering firing Mark Heller. TMZ actually claimed that as Lindsay flew first class to LA on Tuesday night, she was calling Shawn Holley and begging her to come back on LL’s case. Shawn allegedly refused, and now Heller is Lohan’s attorney of record in LA. And Lindsay knows that it’s a huge disaster:

Lindsay Lohan is desperately trying to hire a new criminal defense attorney but the troubled starlet is having no luck finding new representation because she is broke and viewed by many as nothing but trouble, is exclusively reporting. Lindsay despises her new attorney Mark Heller, a source close to the situation told Radar, and that has prompted her to actively hunt for a new lawyer.

“Lindsay has been on the phone calling criminal defense attorneys in Los Angeles trying to hire someone new to represent her,” the source revealed. “She absolutely loathes Mark Heller and doesn’t feel confident that he can successfully represent her.

“Lindsay called Robert Shapiro, who represented her briefly several years ago, but he was unavailable. She called four other top notch DUI attorneys, and every single one of them turned her down – one even had his assistant call Lindsay back and say he wasn’t interested.”

Lindsay fired her long-time attorney Shawn Holley earlier this month and as Radar reported exclusively the actress owes her more than $300,000! Lindsay was represented by Heller on Wednesday in a Los Angeles court hearing where her next court appearance was set for March 18. Now she’s desperate to find a new attorney for the next saga of her never-ending legal woes.

“Lindsay is absolutely stunned that this is happening to her,” the source said about the starlet being turned down repeatedly by top lawyers. “The attorneys have tremendous respect for Shawn Holley, and they know that Linsday owes her hundreds of thousands of dollars, therefore they want nothing to do with her.”

Some of the lawyers view representing Lindsay as more trouble than its worth, the source said, and believe she will regret firing Holley for a long, long time.

During Lindsay’s pre-trial hearing on Wednesday, Judge Stephanie Sautner confirmed with the actress that she did indeed want to drop Holley in favor of Heller for her latest legal quagmire – three counts of lying to cops following a car accident last summer.

Lindsay told the judge: “Yes, for today…” Judge Sautner told her this action was not just for Wednesday but applied to moving forward, and Lindsay tersely replied, “yes, going forward.”

Heller’s love for publicity is highly irritating Lindsay, the source told Radar. Heller is fond of holding press conferences, a maneuver Lindsay would rather her lawyers avoid. “The only times Shawn talked to the media was often at Lindsay’s urging because it was her rule to just lay it all out in court, and leave it at that,” the source said. “Mark had another press conference yesterday after he met with prosecutors in the case.”

Heller previously had his law license suspended five years for professional misconduct and Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan has spoken out forcefully against Heller representing his daughter.

Judge Sautner set a pretrial hearing for March 1, 2013 and said that Lindsay is not required to be in court if her counsel appears and then set the trial date for March 18, 2013.

[From Radar]

Does anyone else think it’s hilarious that Lindsay thought she was being such a clever little crackie by firing Shawn – who she still owes major $$$ – and that it’s come back in such a big way to bite her on the ass? I have a little theory that I’m nurturing over here… maybe this will finally be the time that Lindsay has to face some consequences? And it won’t be because the California justice system (motto: #YOLO) is finally fed up with her. It’s because the Cracken got herself some horrible representation and he’s going to end up hurting her legally.

Here are some photos of Lindsay leaving Dan Tana’s on Wednesday night after she had dinner with Heller and some other people. She doesn’t look very happy, does she? She knows she made a terrible mistake!!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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130 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan desperate to fire Mark Heller, but no other lawyer will take her”

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  1. Little Darling says:

    “Lindsay is absolutely stunned this is happening to her….”

    Quote of the year. Seriously.

  2. Riana says:

    I can’t imagine what’s worse, working for Lindsey or having Lindsey stalking you begging you to work for her again.

    Somehow I don’t think Shawn will ever be fully free from that trainwreck.

    Lindsey calling 24/7, Lindsey sobbing outside her office, Lindsey following her. Bleh.

  3. bettyrose says:

    At least she thought to wear stripper boots to a meeting with her criminal lawyer.

  4. judyjudy says:

    She’s going to OD. I bet a crack pipe she OD’s soon.

    It makes me really sad to say that about a person but I think she might finally be in a spot where no one will prop her up so she’ll go for a dramatic exit.

  5. JL says:

    Well you get who you blow for…….

  6. brin says:

    Chins up, Crackie….some idiot will come along.

  7. Poink says:

    If I looked like her, I wouldn’t look too happy either.

  8. I guess hiring the Fonz for a lawyer isn’t a good idea.

  9. Skins says:

    Did this idiot think that all the other lawyers wouldn’t hear that she stiffed Shawn $300K? She dug her own grave with this one, no real lawyer is going to rep her now, they don’t work for free you know. Delusional, crackfaced ho.

    • Caz says:

      Yes. Any decent, ethical lawyer wouldn’t want Lindsay as a client. Too much drama, too much work to get her off the piling up charges, too hard to get the truth from her. And she doesn’t pay her bills.

      Unfortunately I’m with those here who also think she’ll self-harm if she gets a jail sentence. Whether she does this as a last resort to get herself transferred to a “treatment centre” to bluff the judge or if she really does want to end things remains to be seen.

      My sympathy for Lindsay ran out with the “f&^( you” written on her nail aimed at the judge at one of other court appearances.

      • la chica says:

        That’s bullcrap. Shawn had worked out a deal where Lilo was going to be in a lockdown facility for six months in lieu of jail. Lilo refused and fired Shawn. She does not want treatment because she doesn’t believe there is anything wrong with her. So her attempting suicide to get into treatment makes no sense. She had that option and refused it.

      • Polk8dot says:

        @ la chica ‘So her attempting suicide to get into treatment makes no sense. She had that option and refused it.’

        Actually those are two significantly different things.

        Shawn got her a deal for an ‘inpatient, lock-up rehab facility’ for 6 months.

        With an attempted suicide Cracken would be designated ’5150′ – CA code for ‘involuntary mental health evaluation and treatment’ in an honest to God MENTAL HOSPITAL. With mandatory hospitalization for 72 hours, and no chance for an earlier discharge.

        After such an event and evaluation, she would then be most likely put on some psych meds, maybe kept a few extra days over the mandatory 3, and then she WOULD MIRACULOUSLY GET BETTER, her ‘depression’ all healed, her ‘will to hurt herself’ evaporated.
        With this trick she might be able to play on the judge’s, media’s and public’s emotions, and get her charges dropped for mental disease or defect. Even if the judge ordered extended stay under psychiatric care, she still might be out and moving on with her crackie life in a matter of days, maybe a few weeks. NOT 6 months!

    • Anna says:

      Everybody knows the lawyer gets paid first. Although I guess in the Cracken’s case it’s crack dealer first, plastic surgeon second, then lawyer, and somewhere waaaaaaay at the bottom of the list is the IRS.

      I really do hope the IRS sends her to prison. The California justice system seems to operate on the principle of “ok, one more chance.” The IRS wants its money and wants it yesterday.

  10. elceibeno08 says:

    She looks like a hooker. I can’t believe she wouldn’t even pay her lawyer! Who does she think she is? you don’t stiff your lawyer.

  11. Sam says:

    She fired Shawn because Shawn was smart enough to realize that the prosecutor actually has decent evidence against her in this car crash case and that acquittal isn’t realistic, so Shawn started to negotiate a plea. Lindsay probably couldn’t stand the idea that Shawn believed in her guilt and fired her because of that. She’s straight up delusional at this point. She’s not trying to fire Heller because he’s inept, she dislikes him because he can’t let her be the star of her own drama. But TMZ reported that Heller is repping her at an extremely reduced rate for publicity, so she’s probably stuck with him. Lawyers tend to know about bum clients who don’t pay – LL probably has a reputation!

  12. Shauna says:

    Okay, the California Justice System motto YOLO made me choke on the milk I was drinking. That was REALLY funny.

  13. dorothy says:

    Hey Lind’s, Guess blowing all your money partying instead of paying your lawyer and your bills kinda seems like a bad idea now?

  14. Zigggy says:

    If I was a Californian I’d be so p*ssed off- imagine how many tax dollars have been spent on all of Lindsay’s trials, pre-trials, etc.

  15. D'Oh! says:

    There are defense lawyers willing to defend murderers and rapists, yet, Lohan can’t find another lawyer willing to represent her? Yikes. Maybe the court should just appoint one for her.

  16. Flora Kitty says:

    Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe would not touch crackie with a ten foot pole.

  17. Annie says:

    I don’t see her ODing ever. Her sustance abuse issues are not Amy Winehouse bad. I think her contempt for the law and her issues with money will be her downfall, and she has burned so many bridges that no one is going to bail her out. I see the IRS getting her for tax evasion and that you can’t play with. I legit think her greed is what will land her in jail. Maybe another heist?
    If things had to end for her quickly I see a drunken car crash. But I doubt it. I see no premature death or tragedy. I see serious jail time. I sure hope so.

  18. Feebee says:

    Jose Baez needs a new high profile mess to defend. Maybe he will represent her.

  19. janie says:

    She’s”Stunned”, seriously? What needs to be explained to her? The fact karma has come around to get her? The fact she has burned all her bridges? Where in the world did she get a car to drive? Whoever u are, please buy her some SOAP & SHAMPOO.

  20. Lizzie K says:

    She finally got the lawyer she deserves.

  21. Jane says:

    Everyone needs to totally ignore her. She cannot take care of herself and demands people to do it for her. Send her to jail for a few years with out parole.

  22. virginia5 says:

    How can she be soo orange and pale at the same time?

    How can she be skinny, yet has double chins?

    Why is she wearing a jacket that looks like it was made from a gorilla?

  23. bar world land says:

    Whenever I feel bad about myself or my life, I remind myself that I’m not Lindsay Lohan, and immediately feel better.

  24. Madriani's Girl says:

    Heller looks like my lesbian Aunt Maude.

  25. banarang says:

    How does she make designed clothes look so battered and cheap looking

  26. Nicolette says:

    Gee since she thinks she’s so smart and always seems to find a way around getting nothing more than a slap on the wrist for her antics, why doesn’t she just represent herself?

  27. Sue ya says:

    I hope Dan Tanas made her prepay for her meal.

  28. vixo says:

    she keeps spending money on first class tickets, expensive purses, shoes but doesnt pay her lawyer. And then she really thinks someone will represent her!!
    Given this new layer’s past (he had his law license suspended five years for professional misconduct) I’m pretty sure that if he doesn’t receive any money, he’ll be trouble.

  29. Ray says:

    No keep that lawyer. He was hilarious at the hearing. Haven’t laugh like that in good while

  30. Shelley says:

    I’m stunned that any attorney would o minute to work with any client who owes $300k +, with costs rising every minute and no foreseeable way by which payment will ever be rendered !! WTH!!! And then to allow that client to state that she fired YOU? WTH again!! Does Ms. Holley enjoy seeing herself photographed that much, that its worth never seeing that $300k+ again?

  31. Devon says:

    I know we’ve been saying this for years now but she is really(I hope)screwed this time. As Lainey put it yesterday, Mark Barry Heller Zuckercorn is the worst thing for her, but the best thing for us!

    Not being able to pay aside, I’m not surprised she can’t find anyone else to represent her. She’s a trainwreck, and even worse, she’s a belligerent, delusion, cracked out nuclear explosion of a trainwreck. After seeing what Shawn had to go through with her, no wonder no one wants to touch her with a 10 foot pole while wearing a hazmat suit!

    • la chica says:

      Nope, wrong. The ONLY reason she can’t get a lawyer is because she is BROKE. If she had any $$$, they would be lining up to help her. It’s hard to get a good lawyer on credit. Shawn was stuck with her because you cannot abandon your client. But if said client fires you…

  32. Syko says:

    Is that her Halloween costume?

  33. logan says:

    As my Gammy would say, “The chickens have come home to roost.” Or as my Momma would say, “You made your bed, you lie in it.”

  34. Shelly says:

    She looks extremely sad in these pictures, that was my first thought. Almost makes me feel sorry for her.

  35. Sarah says:

    Cracken could hire Skeletor as her lawyer and she’d still get off with a gentle pat on the wrist. If this was a normal member of the public they’d be in jail by now.

  36. ctkat1 says:

    Shawn Holley was the ONLY thing she had going for her- she lost her looks, she lost her career, she lost her self-respect, but she had a great defense attorney who, because she is so well-respected in the LA legal community, was able to get her out of trouble again and again and again…

    It makes total sense that Crackie would ruin the only good thing in her life, because she has ruined everything else.

  37. d says:

    Well, if Lindsey does end up learning from this extremely hard lesson, maybe there’s hope for her to also learn how to live her life. Touch and go though…
    So, so dumb firing her lawyer.

  38. Amanda Garrett says:

    Ugh, those boots. You are not “Pretty Woman”, Crackie.

  39. erika says:

    uhhh….something’s up allright….Roachie actually, well, her face (despite bloating and 2nd chin) looks good in these pics (minus the Planet Of the Apes costume…

    “I’m NOT A MONKEY!!! I’m Lindsay LOHAN! You DAMN DIRTY APE!).


  40. WendyNerd says:

    It seems no one is willing to take Lindsay anymore… Casting Agents, Hotel, Lawyers, Creditors, Landlords… The only ones willing to take her are rich johns and her mother.

    Tell me, Lindsay? Was the bed you made for yourself worth it?

  41. G says:

    Zero sense of self awareness. Zero.

    Also, if I were Hermes,I would pay her NOT to carry that bag.

  42. iots028 says:

    I wonder if she knows he was Jon Gosselin’s attorney. Maybe she found out and that’s why she wants to dump him.

  43. hannah says:

    is this going to be her new strategy, fire the lawyer and have the trial postponed?

  44. Ruyana says:

    Six degrees of WTF? Milo (daddy dearest) used to hang with John Gosselin. Kate Major was John’s girlfriend. Heller repped John Gosselin for a short time. Now Milo has a baby with John Gosselin’s ex-gf. Did slimy daddy urge Lilo to let Heller rep her?

  45. luls says:

    Her face is completely destroyed at the age of 26. She will never get it back, even if she gets healthy & stops the injectables. How sad.

    I dont like to wish ill on anyone, but do think that a nice long stint in jail followed by an even longer stint in rehab, might be her only chance to turn her life around. Look what it did for Robert Downey Jr.

    Alas, we all know that wont happen. I dont see the California Court system keeping her locked up longer than 1 month, even with a shitty lawyer.

  46. Jeebs says:

    Her face and her hair are the same colour..

  47. MrsBPitt says:

    There once was a girl named Lohan
    who had to give men a good blowin
    to pay all her bills
    and buy all her pills
    can’t get no more jobs except ho’in

  48. Bess says:

    It seems like our little freckled grifter got herself some sort of gig in Dubai with Mr. Pink energy drink.

    Make that money, Crackie.

  49. Kitkerenina says:

    Is that hat now also sewn onto her weave tracks?

    Also, never knew tinsle came in spray on tan shades.

  50. ex says:

    If this is her witches’ outfit she needs a pointier hat and a broom.

  51. Wow, it must have been wild jumping a shark, eating at Al’s and going to court with Arthur Fonzarelli yesterday Linds!

    What a big day for the Cracken!

  52. Trashaddict says:

    OMG she looks a little “bumpy” there. Next tactic: get pregnant? Bwahahaha!

  53. DanaG says:

    No one with a good reputation is going to work for Lindsay and not get paid. Everyone knows she owes Shawn over $300,000 they won’t do the same silly thing. I think it’s a case of birds of a feather flock together. Lilo and her new lawyer were made for each other. Bet she get’s some jail time going by what he has done so far I think that is a realistic thing to expect. Lilo is looking worried because she knows it too. She should have taken the deal Shawn worked out but no little innocent Lindsay can’t be expected to actually be punished for doing the wrong thing. I hope the new job actually does something this time around. I think Lindsay’s ego is far to big for her to do something to herself. Bet Dina is panicking how will she pay her bills? Not that Lilo can help anymore anyway it seems even the johns have thrown in the towel.

  54. Asdfg says:

    OT: Justjared has new pics of her and she has tons of healing bruises on her legs and butterfly band aids too!

    Omg, She’s such a wreck! xD

  55. Celia says:

    Apropos of nothing, this Lindsay interview on Alan Carr: Chatty Man cracks me up.

  56. Snowpea says:

    How on god’s earth is this addled, entitled, destructive, no good hasbeen grifter only TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD?

    I am looking down the barrel of forty and I look better than her.

    PLEASE American government agencies, USE her face on the Faces of Meth campaign.

    In five short years, this chick has gone from cute, fresh faced rising star to drugf*cked, dirty hooker.

    Just say no, kids.

  57. Hmm says:

    Note the Birkin knockoff…


  58. Jordan says:

    These two belong with each other. Honestly, Mark Heller might be her Richard Burton, LOLOLOLOLOL!