I have never found John Mayer attractive. At all. He ALWAYS reminded me of the try-hard poseur boys in college who try to act like they’re sensitive poets but really they were just standard-issue date-rapey bros. My knee-jerk revulsion towards Mayer always made me harshly judge the women that dated him too. How could they kiss that face without vomiting? That’s a real question. What was wrong with Katy Perry that she could let THAT on top of her? What was wrong with Jennifer Aniston that she took THAT back after he publicly dumped her? GROSS.

And don’t get me started on Taylor Swift. I think I gave her more sympathy initially about Mayer just because she was SO young when they were fooling around. He was in his 30s, and I think Swifty was all of 18 or 19. But in the years that followed, I kind of think Swifty might have played Mayer a little bit. She got the last laugh – she wrote a song about how he’s a gigantic douche, after all, and John was so irritated that he whined about it to Rolling Stone. Whatever happened between them, God only knows, but I’m sure it involved tea parties, crochet, cuddlefesting, douchebaggery and LIES. So Mayer and Swifty ended years ago… I think, like, 2010. Is she still pissed off about it? Us Weekly says yes.

Sunday, April 7, should have been a great night for Taylor Swift. She was nominated in five categories at the Academy of Country Music Awards, she had a gorgeous scene-stealing gold dress for the red carpet, and she was scheduled to perform with Keith Urban and Tim McGraw — a star she once sang about in her first-ever single, “Tim McGraw.”

But things took a turn when the “22” singer discovered that John Mayer was slated to take the stage first at the Las Vegas event, sources reveal in the April 29 issue of Us Weekly, on stands now.

One insider says Swift, 23, put on “a stink” about her ex-boyfriend’s performance. “She said she had to go on earlier than him,” the source tells Us of the songwriter, who had a brief romance with Mayer in 2010 and later wrote the song “Dear John” about him.

The country star got her way in the end, but a second insider says Swift “was just really bitter that night” — especially after she didn’t win anything.

“After she didn’t win anything, she bailed on a postshow dinner party,” explains a second insider. While Swift’s rep calls the story “absolutely false,” the insider adds that “John just being there irked her.”

[From Us Weekly, print and online editions]

What I find more interesting than the Mayer stuff (which is admittedly fascinating to me for some reason) is that Swifty truly gets bummed out when she doesn’t win anything. Swifty’s been on a losing streak all of this year. My favorite was when Adele won Best Song at the Golden Globes and the camera panned to Swifty’s sad little bitchface, which is totally better/more preferable than her OMIGOSH I WON surprise-face. Anyway, as for the Mayer stuff… it kind of sounds reasonable to me that Swifty would have demanded to go on before Mayer…? That doesn’t sound like a breakup-angst thing, it sounds like a young artist who can pull strings and make demands at an awards show, and like she wanted to go on before a “minor” artist like Mayer.

Photos courtesy of WENN.