Beyonce’s tour rider includes ‘hand-carved ice balls’ & red toilet paper

Did you notice something weird about Beyonce this week? She was co-chair of the Met Gala, her Givenchy ensemble was ridiculous, and there should have been a lot of post-gala gossip analysis about her and… there just wasn’t. We’ve spent the week talking about Kim Kardashian and Gwyneth Paltrow and even Miranda Kerr, but it was like everyone forgot about Beyonce. What’s up with that? By the way, I saw some of you discussing whether or not Bey looked pregnant at the Met Gala… I don’t know. Her boobs looked bigger, but I feel like Beyonce loves her Spanx as well as her extra padding at times. Once I accused her of wearing butt pads and some people were like “of course she wears butt pads” so would it be a stretch for her to pad her bust in a Givenchy dress for extra attention?

Speaking of extra attention, Star Magazine got their hands on some of Beyonce’s rider demands for her Mrs. Carter Show tour (which is happening now). Some of Beyonce’s diva demands for the Mrs. Carter Show, per Star Mag:

* All crew members must wear 100% cotton clothing

* She sips only alkaline water warmed to 69.8 degrees Fahrenheit.

* Hand-carved ice balls on hand after each show to soothe her throat.

* Bathrooms must have new toilet seats – and red toilet paper!

I feel like the cotton clothing might be an issue with the pyrotechnics? Does Beyonce use pyrotechnics? She must. And you don’t want to be wearing polyester when a Beyonce flame-ball of diva-tude comes hurtling towards you. So wear cotton! The alkaline water thing and the ice balls thing might just be for her throat, I guess, although “hand-carved ice balls” is just a fun concept. Some day, I will be so rich that I demand people hand-carve my ice balls. DIVA! The new toilet seat thing just makes good, hygienic sense. But the red toilet paper? Gurl…

Also, Beyonce Instagram’d this photo of Blue Ivy yesterday:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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79 Responses to “Beyonce’s tour rider includes ‘hand-carved ice balls’ & red toilet paper”

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  1. DailyNightly says:

    I’m really starting to think that publicists dream up some of this crap just for publicity. Red toilet paper? Really? Hand carved ice balls? Did we not consider the potential choking hazard?

    • Erinn says:

      Ahahaha, maybe they’re really large balls of ice?

    • Trixie says:

      I have such a distrust for Star, I’ll wait for a copy of this rider to leak on Smoking Gun before I buy it. Hand carved ice balls indeed.

    • Trixie says:

      I have such a distrust for Star, I’ll wait for a copy of this rider to leak on Smoking Gun before I buy it. Hand carved ice balls indeed.

    • ZigZagZoey says:

      Maybe they are hand carved to look exactly like Jay Z’s balls….

    • LadyBird83 says:

      Didn’t they prove that dyed toilet paper is bad for the coochie? Seem like it would be an infection waiting to happen.

    • emma says:

      I hope so… that’s really gross and pathetic if someone NEEDS handcarved ice balls in their lives. And red toilet paper? So any mess is less visible? Is that necessary to keep up the image of the “Queen B”?

  2. Jess says:

    Is that really Givenchy? I saw the pics and just assumed it was one of her mothers hideous designs.

    This always happens with Beyonce. She does a big whirlwind press tour, creates a lot of fuss, but as soon as she stops working so hard at making a spectacle of herself, people lose interest, because she’s just not very interesting.

    • Susan says:

      I assumed it was a Tina Knowles monstrosity as well.

      Such an ugly ensemble rivaled the tackiness of Kim K’s styling. And what is with the ill-fitting bust line on the dress? Are Bey’s nips trying to escape? Oh, these celebrities and their foo-foo existences make me laugh.

    • Str8shooter says:

      Well said. If she were truly interesting or even a talented performer, she would not need to pull these diva antics.

    • testington` says:

      LOL that was EXACTLY my thought. Only Beyonce could make Givenchy look like House of Dereon

  3. danielle says:

    The idea of red toilet paper grosses me out…

  4. Dhavynia says:

    I don’t even want to know why red toilet paper…I keep thinking its disgusting

    She looks fat in the middle because we’re used to seeing her ass photoshopped beyond extrene.

    She wants me to wear cotton? Then her cheap ass better provide it

  5. decorative item says:

    I thought colored t.paper was bad for the coochie.

  6. Earth to Kelly says:

    There is a blind gossip item about another fake pregnancy on the way that had a lot of people guessing Beyonce. They will prob invest in a pillow that doesn’t collapse this time.

    • Sophie says:

      Blind Items have a reliability of like 2%. They rarely come from insiders. Its like they just read comments sections and write blinds to “confirm” what everyone is speculating anyway.

      • V4Real says:

        I agree that a large amount of blinds are fake as Beyonce’s blonde hair but there have been a few that have been proven to be true.

      • BeesKnees says:

        I agree, however there are some blind gossip sites that are more reliable than others. I think Lainey’s are the most reliable and I think Ted C. had some valid ones too. I think CDAN are mostly fake with a few kernels of truth from time to time. I think makes a lot up from gossip that is going around right now and takes fake tips and emails and rolls with them (the fact that their comment section is moderated so heavily, and anything that questions their validity is deleted I find suspicious). The Beyonce faking her pregnancy thing got so much steam because Beyonce acted a little bit off during her pregnancy. It could have been because she was extra guarded because of her previous miscarriage or maybe she was taking the publicity of the fake rumor and running with it. It was one of the few blinds that made it to the mainstream.

  7. French Reader says:

    Maybe her breasts look bigger in that dress because it was so damn tight. She said something at the MET gala about wanting to cut off the corset with scissors because she could barely breathe.

    • swack says:

      I think it is the way the dress is made and fits. Looks like the top of the corset is just above the nipple line. If it slipped you may have gotten a nip slip.

  8. Katy says:

    Hand carved ice balls? i guess pretending to sing is hard on the throat. I’ve been in charge of hospitality at several concerts before. It’s a thankless, pain in the ass job. You jump through hoops and they don’t even use or care about 95% of the stuff on the rider.

    • Sallybee says:

      Can you expound….. Like, who had crazy things on theirs and who was nice and who was not?!

  9. CAJ says:

    Peeps. You can’t really think she wants hand carved ice balls.

    They put stupid stuff in these contracts to make sure they are read.

    • LadyMTL says:

      That’s exactly what I was going to say. I doubt that she really cares what color the TP is…it’s probably a red herring and the important item is the new toilet seat thing. (I can’t blame her there, I’d always use a new toilet seat if I could.)

    • Chutzpah says:

      I used to work as artists liason at music events – they don’t put that crap on riders to see if you read it.

      They put that stuff on riders because they EXPECT you to do it and get some vicarious thrill out of being really difficult!

  10. NM9005 says:

    If she would’ve released an album before her ‘Revel+Glastonbury= Mrs Carter Tour’ then maybe she might be more interesting. She has nothing to cockblock others with. Not even her deals with Pepsi and H&M. This new album that comes out the fifth of never, has to be amazing because she is losing popularity.

  11. gogoGorilla says:

    Red toilet paper? Is that even a real thing?

  12. Kaye says:

    I read this on another site and thought it was a joke.


  13. dorothy says:

    So over this woman I can’t even come up with a comment.

  14. Eleonor says:

    I didn’t notice in the last post, but her Met’s dress looks painful on the boobs.

  15. Amanda says:

    I’m sorry, I’m going to need for someone to explain why on earth you would request red toilet paper. That is the most random thing I have ever heard of!!!

    • Lucrezia says:

      It’s supposed to be random.

      It’s not about the performer actually wanting X item/s, it’s about the venue proving that they’ll read and obey the contract. Since the rider includes technical details (to ensure top quality sound) and health & safety requirements, it is actually important that it’s followed.

      The classic story is that Van Halen started to request a bowl of M&M’s with the brown ones removed after a crew member was nearly killed due to the venue NOT obeying some of the rider’s health & safety requests. The idea was that if they failed the M&M test, then they’ve probably cut other corners too. After they’d added the bizarre request, one venue failed to remove the brown M&M’s and also failed to observe the weight requirements in the rider … the band’s equipment crashed through the stage floor, causing over $80,000 of damage.

      But now it’s mostly bizarre stuff just to be a diva and get attention.

      • TheOneAndOnly says:

        Quite true, a syndicated columnist for the NY times had an article about bureaucracy and included that story from Van Halen;
        As for beyawnce, I guess a real personality, intellect, some humility, and decent songs were too much to ask.

  16. The Original G says:

    Where do you buy red toilet paper?

    • Willa says:

      Spencers gifts?

    • CC says:

      where I come from even the supermarket has it.

      Seriously, colored tp isn’t special at all, us peons could easily afford a bunch without breaking the bank.

      The bigger question, why on earth would you want to.

  17. LittleBowBee says:

    Beyonce = snoozers. She’s effing ridiculous. Lets not even talk about that dress. SCREAMS House of Dereon.

  18. Vickyb says:

    Nothing about this dress makes me think of punk, but I am reminded of this… If she was going to a Hot Wheels Gala, she would be the belle of the ball!

    What Givenchy is doing making Toy Car Themed dresses is totally beyond me.

    • ZigZagZoey says:

      YES! It looks like Hot Wheels or a Marvel super hero!
      She was probably hoping for a “Hot Superhero” title on a post….
      Oh, and I can’t help wonder if she had her people take all the unflattering photos out of the pile….

    • Willa says:

      Hotwheels dress!

    • BeesKnees says:

      I love it!! Now I can’t stop imagining little cars going down her dress!!

    • Nev says:

      oh SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

  19. KG says:

    When I lived in France Red or Blue toilet paper was the norm, it was more like a light red or baby blue. I’m not sure why. It freaked me out sometimes, you’d look down and the red would turn dark red after you pee so I would always think I got my period.

  20. madpoe says:

    dyed tp can’t be good to use.
    personally, my diva-tude, I’d request a dragon, a ninja bodyguard and to silence the ocean as I slept, ha! top that! j/k

  21. Tiffany says:

    That corset is so tight that it looks like you can see the top of her nipples. Yikes!!!! As far as the rider, I believe it. Wasn’t there a blind a few years ago about an artist who spends more money than they make. Would not surprise me if it is Beyonce.

  22. Mya says:

    Why haven’t we talked about the fact that her and her sisterbride Kimmy Boo were the only matchy matchy derps at the ball!?

  23. Rikki says:

    Beyonce did not Instagram that photo. A fan site did.

  24. Brooke says:

    I just… that givenchy was about the tackiest house of dereon piece of trash i’ve lately seen

  25. Anne says:

    Does she need a new toilet seat each time because she keeps breaking them when se sits down?

  26. diva says:

    Funny when no one pays her attention she pulls the baby out of nowhere….

    • Rikki says:

      Funny that you don’t know that photo is from February…

      • Wow says:

        Ooh, BURN! Damn that’s embarrassing, to not know a Bey photo is from February! What has this poster been doing, living her life or something?

  27. Ceebee says:

    Holy sh#t. This dress. This woman. How much more bedazzle-ing of herself and her child before she permanently nails the coffin of her irrelevance closed. Please dear god. Go away. Take that awful dress and sapphire encrusted baby bottles with you. Take Goop too. Get out of my face, so I can watch HBO in peace.

  28. Suze says:

    Red toilet paper is revolting but I’d love to have a fresh toilet seat daily!

  29. c'est la vie says:

    I didn’t comment on the dress because I knew she would be making her usual fashion faux pas. This woman bores me to tears.

    It seems that SJP and Madonna were the winners that night.

    Nothing about her sticks to the theme of punk. Which you think she might have attempted.

    That is one godawful matchy- matchy ensemble. Down to her fingertips and toes.

  30. michiem says:

    Red TP is a thing. Apparently it was also featured in breaking bad? Tons of other colors too.
    “Renova Toilet Paper has been dermatologically and gynecologically tested.
    It is a biodegradable, non-toxic, soothing tissue and does not bleed any color when wet.
    Made of 100% biodegradable, virgin pulp that is chlorine-free and entirely recyclable.”

  31. Sugar says:

    well la fiddle de da red TP & hand carved iceballs-excuse me while I fill up my ice cube tray then put a new roll of cottonelle on my TP holder dispenser thingy.
    I do like the rider explanation up thread makes sense to put outlandish items in the rider to kinda pop quiz the people responsible for safety reasons.
    I like to include some silly nonsensical sentence in my team emails at work. I mostly know folks have read them by their replies back.

  32. BLOGAHOLIC says:

    That baby looks like drake

  33. Yelly says:

    If you have red toilet paper, how can you tell Aunt Sally has arrived?

    • Char says:

      one can tell by the cramps, water belly bloat, hibernation, or sudden need for brownies. those are usually my telltale signs!

  34. Dizzle says:


  35. Jade says:

    She’s Queen Bey, high priestess of perfect, she’s “I’m more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand.” She’s so powerful she doesn’t get periods.

  36. e.non says:

    i just saw the pepsi commercial for the first time and never realized beyonce is a white girl….

  37. Zinzah says:

    sooo, sucking balls after each concert is soothing, huh?