David Blaine’s stupid stunt predictably fails


David Blaine surprised no one by not being able to break the world’s record for holding one’s breath underwater after spending a week beating the crap out of his body by living in a water globe in Lincoln Center for people to gawk at.

He started spurting bubbles nearly two minutes short of the record, and divers came to his pitiful rescue:

Blaine was trying to free himself from chains and handcuffs while bidding to break the record of 8 minutes, 58 seconds for holding one’s breath underwater. The stunt, following a weeklong endurance challenge underwater, was televised live by ABC.

With Blaine’s face contorted in pain and bubbles rising to the surface, divers went in to release him from the chains and pull him out. Blaine held his breath for 7:08.

“I am humbled so much by the support of everyone from New York City and from all over the world,” Blaine said. “This was a very difficult week, but you all made it fly by with your strong support and your energy. Thank you so much, everybody. … I love you all.”

After a 100-minute television preamble that showed his training techniques — including holding his breath in a tank of sharks — Blaine had sucked in his last breath before going under. Kirk Krack, his trainer and a diving expert, offered encouragement as Blaine remained nearly still for the first five minutes of his dive.

Then, methodically, he removed two of his handcuffs and was trying to remove chains that held him before the divers came in to save him.

Blaine has suffered liver damage, loss of sensation in his body, and rashes all over as a result of his deal with the devil. The long term effects of gambling with his health for publicity have yet to be determined.

I saw the highlights of the stunt on German TV, and it really made me uncomfortable. Just thinking about it while Blaine was underwater made me uncomfortable.

Blaine couldn’t have expected to break the world record for holding one’s breath, but he had to show how far he was willing to go. It was too far indeed.

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