Paris Might Go to Jail: Let’s Hope

In a hopeful sign for both our beleagured legal system and divine justice it looks like Paris Hilton might have to serve a few months of jail time. Here’s hoping she has to wear glasses and let her roots grow out. TMZ has confirmed that Paris Hilton violated the terms of her probation last night when she was pulled over for driving on a suspended license, and could spend up to 90 days in jail as a result.

Hilton pled no contest to alcohol-related reckless driving after cops arrested her on September 7 for a DUI in Hollywood. As a result, the DMV suspended her license, and a judge placed Hilton on 36 months probation, with one major condition being: to “obey all laws.”

If only all the dictates for Emily Post could have been added to her earlier sentence we could be looking at a life sentence. And let’s face it: The rest of us will only ever truly be free when Hilton is locked away. The Roman Emperors were really onto something with banishment. No Dead Paris Walking drama … just permanently removed from the radar.

Last night, Hilton was stopped around 10:30 PM after cops say they noticed Hilton speeding down Sunset Blvd. without headlights. Deputies then discovered she was driving with a suspended license, arrested the heiress and impounded her car.

Greek shipping heirs worldwide are promised a real eye–opener as the sallow, well behaved, modest brown eyed brunette under the the fake tan and zombie lenses begins to re-emerge. Here’s hoping that they go for the maximum sentence with the minimum privileges … a bar of soap, a toothbrush and a rough bit of flannel ought to do her.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Pictures of Paris on the night in question via IDLYITW and Flynet Online.

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15 Responses to “Paris Might Go to Jail: Let’s Hope”

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  1. miss luigi says:

    Haha! Sucked in you dumb bitch!

    Of course she’ll probably buy her way out of a jail sentence, or end up doing community service or something – but I can still dream.

  2. lexi says:

    she and nicole richie could share a cell. yeah right. i’d bet my bottom dollar (euro) that paris just gets a stern lecture from the judge. and as far as miss richie… i have doubts that she’ll ever have the oppertunity to be shived in prison either

  3. julie says:

    I HATE people that only ever think of themselves. Speeding with your lights off? Stupid egomaniacal woman. One of these days some unknown single mother of three will die due to Paris’ recklessness, and she won’t even notice.

  4. Ash says:

    Look at her tan when she got arrested. I know she’s always a little orange, but that has gone creepily too far. She needs to go to jail to give her skin a break.

  5. SillyWilly says:

    Maybe they can do a – Simple Life 5 from jail or rehab with Paris and Nicole.

  6. Toubrouk says:

    The worst thing is, I believe she will get out of all this scott-free due to one high-paid top-notch lawyer.

    But, yeah, some jail would be good.

  7. Kandice says:

    Her tan looks so bad!!! LOL.

  8. FF says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Paris and Nicole had planned this entire thing as a giant publicty scam for their ‘reality’ show. Because clearly the will-she-won’t-she gain/lose weight sideshow was getting old, and with Britney shaving her head and bouncing in and out of rehab actually going to jail is going to be the only next thing anyone cares about.

  9. topaz says:

    HaHa !
    I love it. All your comments make me smile. : )
    I whole-heartedly agree with them all.

  10. daz says:

    dude, it’s magda. Thats hilarious.

  11. frewtloop says:

    I was really enjoying the hiatus from Poxy Heirhead but that story almost makes it worthwhile being confronted with that nightmarish orange mug.

  12. Poor Boopie says:

    Everybody knows that anyone with alot of money will either:

    1)Buy off the judge and do some community service.
    2) Go to a “country club” jail for the rich. Complete with tennis courts, hot tubs, and salon similar to the “hard” rehab that Britney Spears is doing.

  13. Joe Kalarchik says:


  14. Sistah says:

    It would be so nice if this racist B!t-ch got locked up! Now that would be a ‘Simple Life’ episode to see. OMFG!!!

  15. Shar says:

    Can’t wait to see her “go away”. She’s not that attractive. She’s so fake, I just wanna hose her down and say, “See everybody, THIS is what she REALLY looks like!”

    Next to Anna Nicole Smith, who I am NOT a fan of, Paris looks like a dog’s turd.

    Get her off the streets and into the think tank for a reality check!