Kirsten Dunst: Lying Coke Whore

Holy Moly has a mole in Hollywood ( a Holly Holy Moly mole) who delivered this gem about a well known snaggle-toothed blonde with a propensity for telling porky pies.

We’ll open with a damning Dunst quote before we proceed to the Oscar night drama.

“I’ve never come across cocaine on a film set… I’m very naive about that. I don’t smoke and I’ve only tried pot once in my life. I do everything in moderation. I drink, but I don’t go out and get plastered. I deal with my problems, so I don’t have vices over which I have no control.”

Pictures being worth a thousand words we’ll have to assume she meant I don’t smoke except when I’m driving … and of course follks never drive in LA. Except all the time … having been caught out once … the rest of the Holly Holy Moly mole tale gains credence. Picture this:

it’s the inevitable coke-by-the-bucketful post-Oscars party, when out of the powder room stumbles Kirsten Dunst with more dust flying around her head than a bug in a Dyson, her hair a tangled mess plastered across her drug sweat-oozing forehead. “What were you doing in there?” asks the party’s host. The best Dunst, a gerbil with cocktail umbrellas for tits, can manage? “Erm…”

I perhaps I shouldnt have asked you to picture the whole thing as our intrepid molesters got a little graphic with alcoholic rodent parasols towards the end, but hey, we are playing hardball here. Or maybe a whole eight ball.

It would at least explain that unwatchable Marie Antoinette Film … and her break up from Brokeback Moutnain Boy

All of which gives credence to the real reason she and Jake Gyllenhaal split: it was because of her drug hoofing and not the other way round, as her publicist would like you to think.

And whenever a publicist is pushing some angle on a story — its as beliveable as Tony Snow at the Whitehouse talking about a Sunni day in Shia Town … although here I guess all the snow is at Dunst’s house.

pic via Holy Moly

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18 Responses to “Kirsten Dunst: Lying Coke Whore”

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  1. Gayle says:

    How old’s the quote about her not smoking? She could have picked it up since then.

  2. Y says:

    but…but….i love her =(
    so many questions…

  3. SillyWilly says:

    Maybe she is just holding it for her friend in the passenger seat.

    Or she never inhales = never smoked.

  4. UrbanDK says:

    She was framed … clearly … I like her too but if Holy Moly takes her down then the rumble is on

  5. MissMara says:

    I agree with Gayle: she’s not lying if the quote predates the picture.
    And what’s with the ‘Whore’ in the header? Did she also receive her fair share of Marky Mark’s Funky Crotch in exchange for a few bucks? (even suggesting it makes me sick).
    Actually, I think this post is based on nothing. So there are rumors that she did cocaine on Oscar Night – that doesnt make her a Lying Coke Whore, now does it?

  6. Kiwi says:

    I don’t get why everyone hates her so much – because she doesn’t subscribe to the fake teeth, fake boobs, fake lips, fake hair and fake nails? Because she wears what she likes and doesn’t seek out publicity by eating at the Ivy every day? I thought we, as blog readers, wanted celebs to be real. It seems nobody really wants that, they’d rather worship something completely fabricated.

  7. maxpurr9 says:

    i got the impression that the “smoking” referred to pot, not cigarettes–obviously…

  8. Kolby says:

    Wow I can’t believe I’m the lone commenter who hates Kirsten Dunst! I think she’s a bad actress, and this coke story wouldn’t surprise me if it’s true. I’m pretty sure they all do it, so why would she be different? Also, ‘coke whore’ is a pretty common term, and doesn’t speak as much about her sexual habits as it does about her possible coke habit.

  9. xiaoecho says:

    Kiwi…you are so right

    She is hated on because her life isn’t driven by publicity.

    so what if she had a snort after the oscars…I would

  10. Anonymous says:

    lol…coke whore.

  11. p says:

    i hardly know anything about this chiquita.

    somewhere else i saw pics of cameron diaz and drew barrymore lying out in the sun in bikinis in some park smoking a joint.
    and you have to lol at the pic of mischa barton smoking a joint in her car. everyone seemed to think that she is so innocent.

  12. aneurysm says:

    ever since i saw the virgin suicides a few yrs ago, i have been a bonafide fan of hers. she’s an underrated actress imo. she seems more genuine & real in her roles & seemingly her personal life as well, which she chooses to keep private, which again, i find commendable.

  13. UrbanDK says:

    She rocks … she deserves al the coke and Gyllenhaal she wants … and CW is just a term of endearment … its whats the kids are saying these days

  14. MissMara says:

    LOL, Urban, I didn’t realise you called her Coke Whore lovingly. In that case: I love this Coke Whore actress. She was awesome in Marie Antoinette as well!

  15. Cyndi says:

    I like KD, more so for sticking to her acting and not being another typical young Hollywood who sleeps with every whore-man the likes of Lindsay and Scarlette. Her fashion sense, mystery and complete privacy over her life even makes her more appealing.

  16. i did it all for the nookie. says:

    i thought that all aspiring actresses put it out on the directors couch. no doubt they still have give out some nookie to get roles.

  17. Mystery says:

    Your title to this article is apalling! Whore! You disgust me! I liked this site and now you sound as trashy as Perez Bloodly Hilton!

    She was obviously talking about smoking pot smoking not ciggies love!

    Stop with the slander and just report the goss.

  18. Jesussomepeoplearedumb says:

    She was referring to pot and not tobacco.

    It really pisses me off when people (usually men, fuck it) slate her for her looks because she’s natural (god forbid) and refuses to go the breast implant, chiclet teeth route like some shallow bimbo. We as women should not let them get away with it (I’m not referring to you DK – you’re obviously a S N A G). Viva La Difference!