Courtney Stodden, 19, vs. Mamie Van Doren, 82: whose giant rack looks better?

Courtney Stodden poses with Mamie Van Doren at the Eagle & Badge Gala for the Police Protective League in downtown Los Angeles
These are photos of Courtney Stodden, 19, and B-movie actress Mamie Van Doren, 82, on the red carpet at an event for the “Police Protective League” in Los Angeles on Saturday. Just the fact that Stodden is there made me assume thatt the Police Protective League is one of those sham charities that purports to represent law enforcement but just uses the name to get money. It’s not though, it’s the main labor union for the LAPD. You would think that they could do better than Stodden, or that they would realize that it’s not good publicity to be associated with her, but apparently not. Radar Online has more details about the event, which was hosted by Mary Hart.

Mamie Von Doren’s name was very familiar to me but I couldn’t remember much about her. Her wiki page states that she was billed as the next Marilyn Monroe in the 1950s, but never quite broke out. She obviously didn’t change her style much since her bombshell days 60 years ago. These photos are far away so it’s hard to tell, but she looks 25 years younger than she actually is (82 or 80 depending on which birth year you believe.) Mamie has obviously had plastic surgery, yet doesn’t look dipped in plastic. That’s a real achievement. I’d love to see her with a classy makeover, similar to how Pamela Anderson has been switching it up lately.

This was Courtney’s first red carpet as a “single” woman, although she’s still living with her 53 year-old creeptastic husband, he’s still managing her, and this whole separation seems like a stunt they cooked up together. Courtney wasn’t wearing her wedding ring, for what’s it worth. Photo agency Pacific Coast News reports that she told a cameraman she was “Just fine. I am happy now and my ex Doug and I make better friends than lovers. I am looking forward to a new start as a Single Woman and am ready to get out at events again.” I imagine her saying this in a robotic sexy voice and with a vacant look in her eye.

From far away, Mamie looks somewhat more demure than Courtney, because she’s wearing a jacket. Look at Mamie’s dress. It’s only barely holding up her huge rack and she’s using her lady Godiva hair to cover her nips. Plus Mamie has pulled more stunt queen moves recently. I’m so sorry for doing this to you, but here’s a photo of Mamie in 2007. She was in her late 70s at the time.

Let’s assume this officer is married. How is his wife going to react when she sees this picture? Amusement, revulsion, anger? All are valid.

I don’t want to know what’s going on here.


Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

72 Responses to “Courtney Stodden, 19, vs. Mamie Van Doren, 82: whose giant rack looks better?”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. eliza says:

    Which one is Mamie?

    Pretty sad when 82 looks fresher than 19.

    • Ok says:

      Eliza — your comment was exactly what I was thinking.

      Courtney has never ever ever looked under the age of 20 to me. Now kind you, I have only seen still photos of her and never video. Maybe she looks more youthful on a video.

      I was. Also thinking that if Courtney maybe added lowlights or moved toward a more butterscotch color , it would help her look younger.

      But Maime actually seems to pull off the platinum march.

      I am still waiting for them to tell us that we have been punked, and Courtney has been in her 40’s this whole time.

    • BooBooLaRue says:

      *snorts coffee* my thought exactly!

    • Mel says:

      It’s not sad at all…. well, except for the 19-year-old, maybe. 🙂
      Mamie has remarkably young eyes – and it has nothing to do with the rather horrid makeup.
      You cannot fake young eyes.

    • kitty-bye says:

      I agree!

  2. blue marie says:

    There was a hole in the space time continuum and old Courtney was able to travel back in time and attend with young Courtney….and you guys thought she was dumb..

    • NerdMomma says:


    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      LMAO! I just don’t understand what kind of mentality you have to have to think that boobs that large look good.

      I mean…she looks deformed.

      • gg says:

        And she still adds heavy padding to make them look even more gargantuan. This poor little girl has got body dysmorphia so badly I’m afraid of what she’s going to look like in ten years, let alone 60. Amanda Lepore?

    • MonicaQ says:

      I’d think I’d rather have the Angels with the Phone Box, the Founders with the Defiant and IG-88 with the Death Star than Courtney Stodden with time travel abilities.

      • loveisthecoal says:

        Don’t blink. She’s fast, faster than you can imagine. Blink and you’re dead…

        (I sure hope MonicaQ comes back and sees this, because I have a feeling no one else will have any idea what I’m talking about :D)

      • MonicaQ says:

        Yaaas! /high fives loveisthecoal

        My brother calls Miley Cyrus “Miley the Silence” because he pretends she’s not even there. Kills me. Amusing little kid.

    • Nicolette says:

      LOL! That’s great. It is exactly as if Courtney is looking in a mirror at her future self. Thanks so much for the laugh, I’ve had a crappy morning and this lightened things up.

    • littlestar says:

      The thing that I don’t understand about getting such massive implants is that when she eventually has to take them out (from body rejecting them, rupture, back/neck pain etc), what happens to all of that extra skin she’s likely going to have left over? It makes me shake my head, that there was a surgeon out there willing to do this to this young GIRL :(.

      • Jaxx says:

        I agree about the surgeon completely. Are they held to no standards whatsoever? Did he even try to explain all the health risks she was courting? And like you said, she was just a girl. She should have been sent to a counselor for six months or longer before anything was done to her immature body.

  3. Nonny says:

    They look like sisters!

    • aims says:

      I was going to say;”take a good look, we’re getting a look of the future Courtney in a few years.”

      • lavinia says:

        +1. The first thing I thought was Courtney, you are seeing the not too distant future.

      • amilu says:

        The difference is that Mamie Van Doren was actually a very beautiful woman, and she’s aged into a still attractive (if tackily dressed and surgically enhanced) elderly woman. Plus she’s pretty smart and savvy.

        Courtney never had that kind of beauty (or brains) going for her, so I can’t imagine how she’s going to look in 60 years! Messing with her face, etc. when she’s this young can’t bode well for her. Those lips!!!

  4. brin says:

    Looks more like the “Plastic Peroxide League”.

  5. Buckwild says:

    That police officer posing with Courtney looks like he has had the soul sucked out of him…

  6. Maria says:

    That bitch is not 19.

    /I refuse to believe

    • QQ says:

      So do I.. She looks like the Housewives and their mid 40s surgeried ass catfaces

    • Denise says:

      I thought that as well until I saw her on Celeb BB in the UK. You can tell she is actually young, she just really doesn’t know how to wear makeup and do her hair, and whatever other stuff she’s doing is ill-executed. What a freaking weird event – cops, unions, and two generations of busty blonde embarrassments! (Sorry Mamie but you can’t show your underboob and stomach at 82!)

    • Nicolette says:

      ITA. Just don’t buy 19 being her real age.

  7. Frida_K says:

    Mamie looks better than Courtney by far. Wowzers. I think the difference is that Courtney seems like she’s putting it on for someone else, while Mamie, for her part, seems to authentically be expressing her inner being as she experiences it.

    You know, if you feel in your heart like you are a Love Tigress, I guess age is just a number, isn’t it?

    Mah gudness.

    • Moiselle says:

      Go, Mamie! I love it when women that age just don’t give two f’s about what you think . She OWNS who she is. It’s good to see her out and about and looking full of life. Every woman should own who she is regardless of age. Thanks, Mamie. You made my day.

      • Sloane W!yatt says:

        I love Mamie, who has no f*cks to give! ITA, Moiselle.

        (BTW, l luv your username; it’s an old nickname of mine.)

  8. Neelyo says:

    Mamie Van Doren is the Norma Desmond of B-movie bimbos. Her memoir, PLAYING THE FIELD, is a hilarious read.

  9. paola says:

    Is this not a big enough reality check for Courtney? She already looks like the twin sister of a 82 year old woman. If I was Courtney and watching this pics i would cry for days.

  10. enya says:

    I realize that the entire package is utterly baffling, but I have to question two parts specifically. One: what the H is wrong with Courtney’s hair around her part? And two: why the H does ANY WOMAN think that running lipstick outside of the lip area makes the lips look larger? Women, and Courtney, too: WE CAN SEE THE EDGES OF YOUR LIPS. Putting lipstick on part of your face just makes you look like an idiot with lipstick on her face. ‘Kay?


    • NerdMomma says:

      I noticed the same two things. Her hair looks really bad- like, really, really bad. I know she has extensions, and her mom was always her hairdresser. I wonder if her split with Doug is genuine, and her mother is pissed and they’re not speaking? So she has to do her own hair.

      As for her lips- I thought she just got injections? They look like their normal size and shape now, but yes, with lipliner around the edges. How quickly do lip injections settle?

      Here’s a reality show I would watch: Courtney goes to community college.

      • Sloane W!yatt says:

        “Courtney goes to community college.” NerdMomma’s genius strikes again! Courtney Stodden should totally have a cameo on ‘Community’!

  11. booboocita says:

    Mamie Van Doren! I hadn’t thought about her in years. Despite what her Wiki page says, she was never going to be the “next Marilyn Monroe.” For all her wriggly, steamy hotness, Marilyn had talent. Mamie was pretty much her generation’s Courtney Stodden, although her career included actual “acting” roles. Her starring roles were in movies like “Sex Kittens Go To College,” “Vice Raid,” and “The Girl in Black Stockings” — not porn, exactly, but plenty racy for those more innocent times. She was also known for showing up at red carpet events in barely-there evening dresses, and for posing for Playboy. As her career fizzled in the 1960s, she did a number of tours for the USO, and went to Vietnam a few times to entertain the troops — a fact that, in my opinion, elevates her above our Miss Stodden.

    • Faith says:

      Funny thing is Jayne Mansfield was meant to be the next Monroe and Mamie was kind of lumped in with them. The best way I’ve heard Mamie Van Doren described if third in line to the monroe thrown. And even Jayne Mansfield was described as the “poor mans Marilyn” Van Doren couldn’t even top that.

  12. MissMoody says:

    I almost (almost) feel a little bad for Doug. I’m a huge X phile and Tooms was super creepy. I loved him. In real life though, he threw away everything (friends, family, reputation) to bang uglies with a 16 year old girl. And they couldn’t even make it until she turned 21?! Hope it was worth it.

    • gg says:

      I sort of felt bad for him a little at first, but so far he hasn’t made any moves that make him look much different in character than Tooms so I can’t feel too sorry for him. He knew he was creating a trainwreck and he proceeded with gusto.

    • amilu says:

      I know! I liked that episode a lot, and I actually thought Doug was cute back then. Boy am I ashamed to admit that now!

  13. Melissa says:

    I really hate it that we live in a time and place where Courtney Stodden has an opportunity to become rich and famous, even worse have fans and probably young girls look up to her. I mean, there have been talentless bimbos before, but her story and the girl herself are as creepy, graceless, and tacky as it can possibly get.

  14. Rhea says:

    I thought it was a joke when I read that she was invited at an event for the “Police Protective League” in Los Angeles from other site. I mean, how could people see that as a serious event if she’s considered as one of the honoured guest? Guess they need the publicity. Badly.

  15. MrsBPitt says:

    They look like an eighty year old mother and her 40 year old daughter…guess which one is which!!!

  16. teehee says:

    Shes got a nice petite size and all— but her face needs to match her legs and vice versa. She has non toned and non shapen legs- entirely- and they are pale, almost blue with cold in comtrast to her orange face. doesnt she google herself constantly and notice that?
    And that lady looks DAMNED good for 82. I want to look, not like that or her, but, as ‘young’ as her when I’m 82 (not 64 lol)

  17. Jules says:

    Courtney should just go do porn and get it overwith already.

  18. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    To self: you just haaadddd to click on that, didn’t you?

  19. AG says:

    Yeah, it’s a sad day when “19” looks remarkably like 82. This should be an anti-plastic surgery PSA.

  20. Mew says:


  21. Lrayne25 says:

    I know this is minor in comparison to everything that is wrong with this young girl – but I really wish she would BURN. THOSE. SHOES. Everytime I see a pic of her she’s wearing the same damn ugly brownish/nudish/tanish shoes. Gah.

    • TheCountess says:

      It’s how you can tell how hard up for money they are, because honestly, that’s the first thing a woman with a little disposable income who wanted to look sexy would invest in, an enviable wardrobe of killer heels. Those look like promotional freebies. And she wears them like that’s what they are, too.

  22. GeeMoney says:

    They look like twins. Sad.

  23. TheCountess says:

    The break-up is as much of a stunt as the marriage. They won’t divorce because there’s no money in it.

    And Dourtney must be hard up for money, because she wears those hideous goddamn putty heels *every*where.

  24. Julie says:

    I like Courtney, I’m rooting for her. One day she will be classy and show the world her true ethereal beauty. One day.

    • lettylynton says:

      I like Courtney, too. I think she’s been changing a lot. She doesn’t talk like she used to with that heavy valley girl accent, and even her Twitter feed looks normal now. I think she’ll always dress like she does and do her make up like that because she likes it, but I never thought it looked that bad. I hope she has a good life. She deserves the chance to get out and be a young adult, not just a teen bride.

  25. Jaxx says:

    What’s with the kilt guy? It looks like C is playing with his purse and the wife is smacking it out of her hands.

  26. Syko says:

    Jeez. I was looking at the picture just above the one with the cop, and thinking her skin looked kind of crepey on the stomach, then realized it was Mamie and not Courtney. Mamie gets a pass for crepey-ness. Also, her boobs look better.

  27. dorothy says:

    Honestly, Van Doren. Her breasts are large, but not in bizarre, ridiculous way like Stodden’s.

  28. emmie_a says:

    Courtney’s lips look as distorted, painful and fake as her breasts — but she does look trashy with lighter lipstick.

  29. tricklady says:

    Awww twins

  30. Dommy Dearest says:

    I feel bad for the police /:

  31. Lisa says:

    I LOVE Mamie, despite never having seen any of her movies. I’m probably not missing much, considering even she calls herself a B-Movie queen. In interviews and pictures, she comes across as a cool woman. She says she gets hit on by men who think she’s younger, until she opens her mouth and they realize she’s a little older than they thought.

  32. shellybean says:

    Courtney’s lip injections look insane. Not a good look on her. This Mamie person does not look 82, but yes, she def needs a makeover. No one wants to see all that.

  33. Gistine says:

    Thanks for this CB. I cannot unsee these two flesh-colored slags that look like walking dildos. :/

  34. Asdfg says:

    Her heels out weight her. Tacky. Courtney’s whole persona is tacky.

  35. apsutter says:

    Whenever I hear Mamie’s name all I can think of is in Pulp Fiction when they go to Jack Rabbit Slim’s and Uma’s character thinks there are two Monroe’s but Vincent kindly points out that one is Mamie Van Doren.

  36. Pandora says:

    Holy shit, it must have been like back to the future, and amazingly Courtney was able to stay upright when faced with her future 70+ yrs older self.

  37. Anguishedcorn says:

    Why are Courtney’s legs so, so ugly? The skin is just gross, and a really unhealthy shade. She needs to put on a little bottle tan.

  38. nancy says:

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, for both!! Have some class ladies!