Look at how the sun glistens on Simon Cowell’s furry moobs. The setting sun’s rays embrace the fur, pours over the moobs, making them transcend and god-like. SIMON MAKE BABY. SIMON VIRILE. SIMON GLISTEN. SIMON HAPPY. SIMON SUCK IN GUT FOR PAPS.
So, obviously, Simon Cowell, Lauren Silverman and baby Eric are still in Miami. Simon is still posing for pap photos every other day. Simon refuses to wear a shirt, because he’s super-virile and furry and people need to see that. I’m thankful that these photos at least make some sense sartorially – we’ve previously discussed photos of Simon shirtless and wearing his mom jeans. On the beach. So, at least he’s wearing proper shorts here.
Incidentally, Simon covers the new issue of the UK magazine Radio Times. He was promoting the new X-Factor musical (????) and he ended up talking about his love of ciggies and 1 am drinking:
Simon Cowell has told how he drinks alcohol to enter a ‘calm place’ and come up with his TV ideas. The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent boss, 54, said that ‘one or two in the morning’ helped spark his creativity. In an interview to promote X Factor musical I Can’t Sing!, written by comic Harry Hill, Cowell said that he could not quit smoking.
‘Harry trained as a doctor, he doesn’t like my theory that although I smoke and drink I take supplements, so I’ll be all right,’ he told the Radio Times. ‘If I tried to cut out cigarettes completely, I would have a real problem: too boring. It’s the same with drinking.’ But the new father added: ‘I’m pretty good at cutting back when I need to.’
He added: ‘I have this expression, ‘You never eat Indian food for breakfast’. I always think there is a time in your day when you can be creative. For me, [at] one or two in the morning, couple of vodka and limes, couple of cigarettes, I’m in a calm place: I can think. I always say, ‘One good idea a year can pay for your next ten years.’ And that’s all you need to do.’
Cowell, who was recently pictured topless while strolling alongside girlfriend Lauren Silverman and their baby boy, Eric, said that he was in good shape.
‘Yeah, not too shabby, eh?’ he told the magazine.
He goes on to discuss his nerves and the high-wire act of putting on a successful musical and a successful show, and it made me wonder if Simon has had any blow-back in the UK after the American version of The X-Factor bombed so badly? Like, are British people mad at him for trying to bring the show to America? Or are they just happy that the British X-Factor is still happening? In any case, I really thought Simon was going to be spending the next year in London, so I guess I don’t really know what’s going on in that furry brain. He and Lauren seem like they’ve decamped to Miami indefinitely.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
I’m going to get soooo much flak for this, but I kind of like his man-boobs…like I’d almost rather take that than some guy who is so ripped that there is nothing to hold to, you know? Lol
Well, they never bothered me until he started shoving them in our faces! =}
I have always thought that the Sixer Towers habit of eating leftover Saturday night Indian take-out for Sunday brunch (which counts as breakfast, right? It’s SUNDAY) was something a tad low rent that I probably shouldn’t mention in public.
But now it’s a whole ‘nother story: I am DIFFERENTIATED from Simon and his furry moobs. Huzzah!
My name is Sixer. I eat Indian food for breakfast.
I love vegetable lo mein for Saturday breakfast.
Simon’s furry moobs reminds me I need to trim the backside of my dog when I get home.
They both disgust me.
They aren’t at all protective of that poor baby. Turn him in so he faces you, famewhores. Stop exposing him to strangers and bright lights for your own gain.
They’re repulsive. That baby needs to see his parents to feel safe and secure. Instead he sees flashing lights and random strangers
Agreed.
+1
Does she seriously not know how to use that stroller??
The UK mail has a story about them flying to London with literally tons of luggage yesterday.
Aren’t newborns supposed to face their mum, rather than the paps?
The Brits still watch X-Factor, but ratings are definitely way down on the initial series of the show and most of the winners flop spectacularly in the real world.
Good, and how did he become some music mogul? He only markets disposable pop music; Its not like he’s promoting the next legends of rock or Motown.
He is not remotely attractive IMO.
I agree. He must know he is being ridiculed internationally for over-exposing his yucky moobs, right? So why does he keep doing it? It’s as if he doesn’t pay attention to any of his own hype.
Those dogs don’t exactly scream “manly owner!” to me.
I agree that the baby should be facing mom. She needs to see him and he needs to see her. Baby facing out is 100% for pap photos. I am also disturbed by the photo where she’s sitting down feeding him. Whether a mom is breastfeeding or bottle feeding, she holds her baby close while doing so. The way she’s shoving that bottle in his mouth from a distance is so impersonal and strange. Do moms do this occasionally? Sure. But when you’re on vacation and you have nothing else to do, no other little ones vying for your attention, don’t you savor the moment, take your baby out and hold him close, and feed him in a loving manner? I’m feeling very judgy this morning!
Yes, I thought that too! When feeding, take the baby out of the stroller, woman! It’s still small and needs to smell, feel and see his mommy. Besides, don’t you need to take him out in order to burp him? Might as well take him out for feeding. Some people…
True. Feeding time is time to bond and help your baby feel loved and secure.
It’s funny that their happy family photo opps just make them look like uncaring, exploitative parents
Baby is a prop to get press
I’ve stuck the bottle in the baby’s mouth from the stroller thing but when my kids were older. I can’t imagine it would be comfortable or easy to feed a very newborn baby that way.
I normally try not to judge other moms, so while I don’t think any of this makes her a “bad mom”, it is all so strange. I can’t imagine, just days after giving birth, with all the soreness and the stitches and the discharge and the giant, postpartum diaper-pad, wanting to hang out on the beach. With my 3 day old baby.
First fly to Miami – hang out on the beach, deal with baby, stupid Simon, the paps, the sand – then get on a plane and fly to London. All the while the rest of the harem is buzzing around.
Yeah – with the giant pad, the soreness, the hormones.
She must be miserable.
I keep waiting for Simon to hold the baby, high up, and then the Circle of Life from the Lion King starts playing….
Ahahahahahahahaha!
*rolls on the floor with laughter*
Oh God, that was good!
You win the Best Snark Trophy! Ha ha! Great comment!
Maybe I deserve a little flak if this sounds judgemental, but does she like go weeks then without seeing her first son, who is like 8 or something? That kinda breaks my heart.
I agree with you but going by the fact she doesn’t even hold her newborn to feed and doesn’t even want to see it while she is pushing a stroller I think it wouldn’t matter where her older son was because she would ignore him too. Well he would get a hug if the paps were around to record it. Don’t you know mommy needs her ME ME ME time how else is she going to keep Simon interested? I can’t stand either if these two apes.
I seem to recall the custody arrangement was not too favorable to her. I recall another site shading that she gave up a lot of her custody rights in exchange for a quickie divorce. I could be wrong, though.
Yuppie. She also made it known in the press that she wants a ring. I think she was honestly dumb enough to think Simon would propose once the divorce was finalized.
There are a TON of women that are stupid like this.
My mom just told me this story about a guy she was stationed with in the Navy, back in the 90s. They lived on base, this guy was married with two little babies–both under four. He worked nights—the base was about an hour away, so his wife had to drive him to work, and then drive back home because they only had one car. In the morning she had to go and get him. Now they lived in a sub unit, with one other couple downstairs. The husband was her ‘friend’.
After a while, they moved—to a place where they were only about ten minutes away from base, and the ‘friend’ started sleeping on his couch. Every single time he came home from work, the dude was on the couch. She said it as because the ‘friend’ and his wife were having issues, and he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Now, mind you, all of this guy’s friends are telling him that his wife is sleeping with her ‘friend’. And he wouldn’t believe it.
He said that he didn’t want to be the kind of husband that got jealous if his wife had male friends, and that he trusts her to stay faithful, didn’t want to be controlling, etc. Now, it turns out that it’s TRUE. She came to him and said that she was leaving him (she left their kids with him too), don’t get mad, we fell in love, we’re going to get married—she moved out with the ‘friend’.
And got pregnant. Her husband didn’t do anything about it–didn’t call to report it (because you can get into trouble for infidelity) or anything. He just moved on. My mom was friends with him because they were now both single parents, so they would take turns baby sitting–they had their schedules coordinated. Now, a few months later, this dude calls my mom up just giggling. And my mom asked him what’s up??
He told her that his soon to be ex wife called him and told him that she was pregnant, and that her ‘friend’ was leaving, and can she move back in. HA. Basically it went down like this–she got an apartment with the ‘friend’, they were all loved up until he got orders to go to Japan. And HE told HER that he wasn’t taking her with, and to have a nice life. And left her. Now she’s pregnant, she just threw away her marriage FOR HIM, and the only job she’s ever had was bagging groceries–where you got paid in tips. And she can’t afford to stay where she’s living.
So she had to call her soon to be ex husband, and ask him if she could move back in. And to be clear–she LEFT her kids too. She didn’t take them with, nor did she come and see them. And he wanted to say no, but he made her stay in the guest room, and gave her a certain amount of time to be out.
Also, what’s really funny is that SHE wanted HIM to report the infidelity, so that her ‘friend’ would get into a lot of trouble with his superiors. He wouldn’t do it, and told her to suck it up. He also said that he was glad that she showed him exactly what kind of wife she was, and thank you for the lesson.
Such a dumbass.
I also read somewhere… can’t remember where, that part of the custody arrangement was that her other son is not allowed to be around Simon, so the time she does spend with him, she can’t have him with her and Simon together. This whole thing is… icky, and I’m not excusing any of her actions or behavior, but if this is true, it would be difficult. Granted, she put herself in the difficult situation, but if this arrangement was only made out of anger and spite, it hurts the child, which isn’t fair. She would obviously see the other boy even less right now, right after having a baby, if he isn’t allowed to spend time with Simon around.
So what is this really about? Why is he trying so desperately to create this image of a happy family unit?
Because he will have some more headlines when he’ll announce their split.
He’s promoting a happy family unit, but doing it in a weird way. Parading a mother who must still be uncomfortable from childbirth and a newborn on a beach of all places–sun, gritty sand, photogs. Why not release pictures of them nesting in a comfortable place, like normal new parents? I think he’s happy to be a father, but he’s not going to change his lifestyle much to accommodate Lauren or the baby. I’ve been following this in the Daily Mail, and he invited his exes to New York to celebrate with him and Lauren after the baby was born, and he invited them South as well. I think he’s showing Lauren her place in the food chain: just one of his harem, with only a little greater importance because she is the baby mama. And she’d better play along.
Exactly. And I think Lauren is shell shocked. She looks like she is in a daze in these photographs.
Awww they look so happy and in lalalalalove! (stole this from a fellow celebitch)
He seems to be over the moob.
I bet he loves her to the moob and back.
🙂
Is he managed by Kris Kardashian now?!
I just can’t recall this level of fame whoring from him before.
The thing is he has always had a solid relationship with the paps. They have said he is one of the easiest higher tier celebrities to get great pictures from. Lauren I think is the one who is truly getting a reality check of the situation.
Bah, they look super smug , posing for the cameras. You have a new baby, you have better things to do!
He’s so doughy. He’s not wearing footwear. I hope he stepped on his Yorkshires’s poop.
Poor baby must be so confused. I bet he tries to latch on to the moob.
Agree with all comments!
Especially the bonding with baby and holding him. I hope he has a very nurturing nanny.
Are those scars under his moobs from pec implants?
Love ALL these comments – but especially those that note her completely lack of interest in bottle feeding, and her complete lack of interest in son #1. Being rejected by your own mother is hugely damaging – you feel like if your own MOTHER doesn’t like you, how can anyone else? Evil woman.
Lauren screwed her husband over expecting she hit the jackpot when she became pregnant with Simon’s child. Her now ex-husband didn’t take it laying down and screwed her over in return. Had she paid ANY attention to how Simon is she would have understood her place on the harem. Simon will most definitely take care of his child but Lauren is nothing more than another one of his woman. She was foolish to think otherwise. She was an idiot to jeopardize her relationship with her older child.
I initially thought her ex-husbands demands were cruel but have reconsidered. His demands actually provide his son with continuity and stability at least for the first year after their divorce. Lauren made her choices without considering how they might reflect on her older child. Thanks to his father he still sees his mom but in a manner in which she is forced to concentrate on reaffirming THEIR relationship and allows him to bond with his new baby brother without the pressure of how to handle some new guy in his moms life who may only be temporary not to mention he is not having his picture on the paper every day.
+1 to everything you wrote. I can only wonder at what it was like on those cruises and events where she was vying for his attention with the rest of his harem. And what’s the payoff for now being no. 1? Probably not what she’d hoped. And, just from speculation of her body language in other pictures, I think she really is in love with him, but it is not returned.
This is the most succinct explanation for that ridiculous situation that I have read yet.
I am going to throw up.
It’s all really gross.
This bothers me so much! He’s somehow shaped like my boyfriend, and I find him incredibly hot and manly, but this dude… just no. I think it’s that head on his shoulders that’s the big bothersome thing. Gah, I hope this doesn’t ruin this body type for me!