Did Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow do an ‘uncoupling ceremony’ on vacation?

Gwyneth Paltrow tweeted this ^^ on Sunday. What does it all mean?! I have no idea. One interpretation: when you’re an elitist, everything is blue skies and unblemished beaches. This was actually Goop’s first tweet/IG since her separation announcement (which was on Goop.com, but that’s another story).

The photo was taken in the Exuma Islands, which is where Gwyneth, Chris Martin and their children have been vacationing for two weeks. They rented a “private beachfront home” for $7500 a week (a pittance in GoopWorld) and an insider told Us Weekly: “When only Gwyneth and Chris are together, there appears to be some tension. But when the kids are with them, they appear to be one big happy family with no cares in the world.” So what did they actually DO on their private rented home? Well, a UK paper says that Gwyneth and Chris had an “uncoupling ceremony” on vacation:

CHRIS Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow held a bizarre separating ceremony to prepare themselves for their imminent divorce. The estranged A-list pair took part in the oddball spiritual healing ceremony while holidaying in the Bahamas last week.

A friend close to Gwyneth and Chris, who have two children together, claimed they took part in a beach ritual performed by a Kabbalah Rabbi on what they called their “break-up moon”. As part of the service the celebrity pair read from the sacred Kabbalah book Zohar, lit a fire, used stones to symbolise their continuing concrete relationship and threw pebbles into the sea to represent their “wandering spirits”.

They then read out: “Blessed are you in coming in and blessed are you in going out,” before sharing a parting kiss. According to our source, the Grammy-winning musician and Oscar-winning actress underwent the ritual to prepare for difficult times ahead.

Their pal said: “Gwyneth and Chris woke up at 5am in the Bahamas for daily counselling and joint meditation sessions. They are still extremely close and want to make this as easy for the kids as they can. Gwyneth insisted the separation shouldn’t be seen as a sign of failure but as an ‘inevitable circumstance’.”

[From The Daily Star]

LOL. It’s just stupid enough to be real. And quite honestly, this is the kind of story that makes me think, “Wow, I don’t care how many other women Chris Martin banged because Gwyneth is insufferable.”

Last thing: Gwyneth’s grandma Dorothy Paltrow passed away a week ago and it was just announced yesterday. I don’t have a punchline for that. It’s sad. I will say this though: Grandma Paltrow was not the same grandmother that Gwyneth called a C-bomb on Chelsea Handler a few years ago. Dorothy Paltrow was Goop’s dad’s mom. Gwyneth referred to Blythe Danner’s mom as a C-bomb.



Photos courtesy of Gwyneth’s IG.

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69 Responses to “Did Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow do an ‘uncoupling ceremony’ on vacation?”

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  1. Wren33 says:

    I can’t hate on her for this. Yes, it is pretentious, but from what I have heard divorce is on par with the death of a love one, and we don’t have any mourning rituals for it.

    • Helvetica says:

      Agreed. Divorce is not a walk in the park. If they are being civil and friendly, then more power to them.

    • annaloo. says:

      I know, but a break up moon?! So GROAN up of them….

    • LadyMTL says:

      I agree with you in theory but why couldn’t they have just done this and kept it private? Why the need to label it something sooooo precious and announce it on social media? Oh yeah, because Goopy is an eyerollingly bad attention grabber.

      Divorce is horrible, but this “look at meeeeee” cr*p is worse.

      Random aside: am I the only one who finds it funny that she used the title of a U2 album for her pic? Sneaky dig there, Goopy.

      • Helvetica says:

        Well I think most couples announce their divorces via a public statement. It’s pretty standard. She just happened to use a ‘concscious uncoupling’ statement. Lol.

    • megsie says:

      Precious and pretentious? Yeah, I can see that. But divorce is hard, divorce is a death. So I say whatever gets you through, do it.

  2. QQ says:

    bwahahah These Precious assholes, a Break Up Moon?!? Christ

    So now they are gonna be more decent in divorcing than when they were married and all they had to do was keep it in their pants and respect each other? MMkKay

    • Ag says:


      yes, goop, show the peasants how it’s done! respect your partner AFTER you’re done with each other, not DURING the relationship. haha

  3. Ms. Turtle says:

    It’s funny & *just* plausible enough to be true but I don’t buy a word of it. I believe they took the kids away to be away from the media circus surrounding them ATM and possibly to tell the children gently of their impending divorce. Whatever you think of them, they seem to love and adore those children beyond. No parent wants to hurt their kids. They probably wanted to tell them in as gentle way as possible, away from prying eyes. But that type of story doesn’t sell, so words like Kabbalah and ritual are thrown out to make them sound as bad as you already think they are.

  4. Loopy says:

    I got nothing!

    • danielle says:

      Yeah, I’m reserving all my eye rolls for scarjo today.

    • Rice says:

      I got something: Why does her hair look so dry? Isn’t there some ridiculously overpriced oil from a rare flower in Bora Bora or something that she can use for that?

  5. L says:

    I mean…I guess it’s good they are having talks about how to be good solid co-parents? And how to present a united front when parenting. But the ceremony aspect…meh. That totally seems like Goop’s idea 100%. I think Martin went along with it to keep the peace.

    That’s sad news about her grandmother. And again makes me feel bad for the kids. Great-grandma passing, and parents divorcing back to back. That has to be hard on them.

  6. frisbeejada says:

    Bored now, didn’t read the article, barely glanced at the pictures and this could go on for years and years (given the usual Huvane method) the very thought makes me lose the will to live. Think I’ll just skip all future articles about this ridiculous woman.

  7. LadyJane says:

    So no interrupting the “luxury beach wandering spirit stones divorce vacay” to attend granny’s funeral then? How enlightened.

    • Ms. Turtle says:

      Have no idea of the circumstances surrounding her grandma’s death/funeral, but not everyone’s family does a big funeral. I found it so odd, but when my husband’s grandmother passed, they didn’t want a big family funeral. And she had about as many grandkids and great grandkids as Mrs. Paltrow did. My MIL and her siblings had a private ceremony, just the four of them. Not how my family does it but whatever. So that may be at work here too.

  8. Luca26 says:

    Whatever floats their boat if at the end of the day it allows them to be civil for their kids then god bless.

    • Esmom says:

      Agree. If it’s true, I don’t think it’s horrible at all. People will rip the idea to shreds because it’s Goop but I like the healing aspect of it, so much better than the insane acrimony that tends to take over in many divorces.

      • Amy Tennant says:

        I can’t stand Gwynnie, but I actually love the idea of a ceremony like this. It’s beautiful and positive.

  9. Rhea says:

    “…pair read from the sacred Kabbalah book Zohar, lit a fire, used stones to symbolise their continuing concrete relationship and threw pebbles into the sea to represent their “wandering spirits”.

    —> I wonder if Paltrow also lit the fire using french fries to symbolise letting go the negative part of their relationship while Chris threw a kale into the sea to represent his free spirit.

  10. Sullivan says:

    Well, it sounds like they’re committed to making this transition as painless as possible for the kids. Nothing wrong with that.

  11. Marny says:

    I love them- no sarcasm! Whether or not this is true, I love that in a time when so many celebrities try to appeal to everyone and are so fearful of alienating any of their audience Gwyneth & Chris stay true to themselves.
    Also, I suspect that if my parents had had an uncoupling ceremony & we’d gone on a family trip to commemorate their lives together (instead of insulting each other and having yelling matches at every turn) I’d have had a much easier time.

  12. Helvetica says:

    What a beautiful picture

  13. juliebear75 says:

    It means that the sky and ocean were the same color and she couldn’t see the horizon.


    • LadyJane says:

      I think the poster was alluding to a more metaphorical translation of the tweet – ‘No Line on the Horizon’ is a U2 Album, and Chris has always stated how he admires and wants to emulate U2’s success, so perhaps Gwen thought it would be an apt nod to her uncoupled former spouse’s future – and also her own unfettered ‘horizon’. But ya – you are right. They ARE the same colour. How clever.

  14. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Wow. I wish I’d thought of that during my divorce. We could have held a lovely parting ceremony! We could have read from his little black book of other women he slept with during our marriage (that would have taken all day, so we could just do A thru L), I could have lit his pants on fire to symbolize what a hottie he thought he was, then thrown rocks at him to demonstrate my concrete belief that he is and always will be an major douche bag. I don’t think I’d go for the parting kiss, but my last words would have been a tender, “kiss my ass, you lying cheating abusive alcoholic moron.”

    Sigh. Oh, those missed opportunities.

    • Esmom says:

      Ooh, ouch. So sorry for your ordeal. And thanks for pointing out that not all couples have the luxury of parting amicably, I hadn’t really considered that as I am fortunate to have a faithful and respectful husband. Hopefully things have gotten better for you.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Oh, you are sweet. I have been happily married to the most honorable and kind man I’ve ever met for 18 years. I think I appreciate him all the more because of the torture of my first marriage, so happy ending all around. “I bless the rocky road that led me to you” and all that. I’m glad you found your husband on the first try. We’re both lucky.

      • Esmom says:

        GoodNames: Indeed. And I’m with you on the “rocky road” leading to better things. I wasn’t married before but dated a guy for years who was a pretty heavy-duty douchebag, cheating, verbally abusive, etc. When I finally cut him loose for good I realized I had two choices: to lament all the wasted years or to look at the relationship as an example of what never to pursue again. I chose the latter! And eventually things did get brighter.

    • huh says:

      That was awesome! I’m sorry you had to go through that..being cheated on is the worst.

    • blue marie says:

      ha, I’m sorry it happened to you but that’s pretty damn funny.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Thank you huh and blue marie. It was a long time ago, and I grew from the experience. It hurt like everything at the time, but really doesn’t anymore. I’m very happy now.

    • LadySlippers says:

      My abusive ex was an not alcoholic but everything is is spot on.

      In our separation and healing ceremony. You forgot the musical drums of freedom. Drums play in the background while we ‘pound’ the jerks (in time of course) with the mallets. And dance around their bloodied bodies. Sounds like the perfect ending, eh? 😉

      And may I also find a nice man like you did. *crosses fingers*

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Adore the mallet idea! Freedom! Bonk! Freedom! Bonk bonk!

        LadySlippers, I will focus positive thoughts every day for a lovely, wonderful man to come your way. He would be the luckiest man in the world, and spend his days laughing from your humor and glowing from your loving heart.

  15. mytbean says:

    I can’t imagine a man suffering through all of this but maybe they both have a little crazy in them.

    This whole weird ceremonial rigamaro is better than it ending with two people publicly slinging mud at each other and ignoring impact it has on the children in the process.

    I’m curious as to how well this whole peaceful truce between them is going to hold out though once they start parenting separately. Can you imagine the day that Chris brings them back after a weekend with blue berry pop sickle stains on their shirts?

    • LadySlippers says:

      Everyone has said these are two peas in a pod. So my bet is he’s just as goofy and new-age as she is.

  16. poppy says:

    that’s gwynsufferable, peasant.

    they (huvane) should have released the information earlier re grandma.
    sad about grandma.

  17. aenflex says:

    Sometimes and ending ‘ceremony’, whether conventional or abstract, is nice thing to have when moving on in life. That’s why we have funerals, I think. Something has died and it’s time to move on. Whether anyone likes them or not, they had a long relationship and children and it was real for them.

  18. shellybean says:

    If they did have an “uncoupling ceremony”, such as described here, I actually think it’s kind of….cool? It seems sweet and a way to honor what they had together once upon a time. I would imagine it would help bring closure to a relationship, but in a loving way. But what do I know. I usually wanted to slash tires and and voodoo-doll the crap out of whoever I was breaking up with (no, I didn’t actually do those things, ha). I guess I’m not as zen as Gwyneth. But good for them, if true.

  19. dilettante says:

    I think it’s kind of nice. People throw divorce parties sometimes, right? This is just a quiet way for them to bring closure. Unusual, maybe, but it sounds peaceful. Fingers crossed we won’t have to hear all about it on GOOP, however.

  20. MissNostalgia says:

    Please, these two make me tired. Even breaking up like everyone else is too “peasantry” for her…she has to call it fancy names and add fancy ceremonies. Girl…you are getting a divorce, DIVORCE…that is what is will read in the court papers…not “decoupling”, whatever the hell that is!

  21. Andrea says:

    Not all grandmas are cool. But it’s trashy to call them out on tv.

  22. Anne says:

    I saw her hair from the 2011 post and it looked healthy. Now it’s so dry. Not good.

  23. Danielle says:

    Woman / women who uses the “C” word to describe someone doesn’t deserve any respect.

    • Pumpkin Pie says:

      And even more so when they do it publicly and the person they call the “C” word cannot defend herself (I assume you are referring to her grandmother whom she called c u next tuesday on chelsea lately ? That was totally disgusting. So her children will think it’s ok to use that word?)

  24. Ginger says:

    I would buy into them doing something like this. My “uncoupling” experience was far different. After I found out my ex husband had been lying to me (again!) and HE walked out we began divorce proceedings. Our state forced us to take a parenting class together (for a fee of course!) where we sat awkwardly next to each other with a bunch of other equally awkward (or very angry) couples. Then we plodded our way through a bunch of legal jargon and notaries and attorney fees. At the end we proceeded to attend (individual) counseling while also yelling at each other a lot (but never, ever in front of our son). Oh and he also screwed me over financially in his words “on purpose”. Although I’m still rehabbing my FICO score, my ex and I can now behave in a normal fashion with each other around our child and co parent. I think that’s about as normal a divorce as you can get and also completely opposite of these two yahoos. “Conscious Uncoupling” is definitely insufferable IMO! Divorce is like death and it took me a while to believe that I could trust again. Luckily for me it ended happily in that I met my second husband who cherishes me and my son. I do recall having to write a letter to my ex while in counseling detailing how I felt about the end of our marriage. That was as close to a ceremony as I got but it did help. I still have it and read it once in a while. I am always astounded at how angry I was over the divorce. I truly don’t wish that on anyone, even GOOPY.

  25. top says:

    no line on the horizon is a song by u2

  26. Why does she hate her mother and her mother’s mother so much? It’s kind of sad to see. Like I have some relatives that I will probably do my best to avoid and not speak to, for the rest of my life, due to some things that happened in our family recently–but I wouldn’t ever go on an interview and talk about what c-nts they are.

  27. The Original G says:

    Ok. I think this might actually be a good idea for some people. But keep it private.

    As for the kids, they’ve had ring side seats at this carnival for sometime and suspect have a pretty gool picture of what the deal is here.

    • pru says:

      Yes. No amount of “acting” like there they have no cares in the world can keep kids from feeling tension between parents, if there is some. My guess is that there is tension between them & the kids do feel it. I can only hope the damage to them will be minimal.

  28. deVries says:

    If her love ones should die,how will she break the new.will she say ‘kicked the pearl bucket(only peasants kick normal bucket)’,hmm i wonder what she calls a burial,any guess?

  29. lambchops says:

    You can wrap it up in new words, (uncoupling), have ceremonies to move on, but there is no avoiding the pain of divorce. It is inevitable and like it or not, she will experience what everybody else experiences going though it, except with more money and snootiness.

  30. Miss Thang says:

    Everyone is coming down so hard on them for how they are divorcing, but I am not sure why! They are trying to make it a gentle transition and I think that deserves MAJOR credit. Divorce is such a horrible experience and leaves deep scars on everyone involved. I say good for them for making an effort.

  31. paranormalgirl says:

    I wish they would refrain from pretentioning (yeah, I know, not a word) up my beloved Bahamas.

  32. MaggieOwns says:

    Didn’t Demi and Ashton do something similar? They are also into Kabalah I vaguely remember them taking a camping trip with their spiritual leader after they announced their split (but before the drawn out divorce).

  33. anne says:

    I am all for having a civil and yes even “loving” divorce and don’t understand why they seem to always have to be so ugly. BUT leave it to Goop to go totally bonkers with all this to the extreme (for her image) as she does in all matters, and to make her divorce soooo much better than the rest of us commoners. THE REALLY ODD part to me and some of my friends that used to post here and know work with them etc. is that we all knew they had planned official split for last 5-6 years as we told ya:). And they had always agreed to do it during the Summer when school was out to make it easier on kids, so why totally weird timing ? In past, Gwyneth would always come up with some last minute BS to keep Chris holding out til the next Summer. One of my friends said Chris (who has really supported her entirely and is givnig her everything ($$$$, putting up with her PR BS spin etc. fro, all accounts as he is good guy and just wants more time and influence with kids – as do kids!) is furious that GOOPERS jumped the gun and went behind his back to do it early (really messing up the kids with the school timing and pre-planned trip was to tie up loose ends prior to making public) just to make herself look justified as all her affairs are exploding out. Others say Chris just TOTALLY had it and after years of wanting out just finally literally couldn’t take one more minute pretending to be with her. Either way for all her claims about kids first, she yanked them out of school for well past break, made HUGE dramatic deal of it at school as if anyone there cared – they didn’t like her since whole Vespa thing, do like children and Chris) and didn’t even have the class to handle as agreed when she has gotten everything else she wanted for years. Disgusting that she puts herself ahead of kids always – and that is main reason Chris finally had to make it official to change that. Poor kids, at least have others that care about them but their Mom has been embarrassing them for years and I do pity poor things – can’t even imagine having or being a Mom like that – very very horrid. And Blythe wasn’t and isn’t like that at ALL, that theory is totally untrue. Oh well, all concerned agree best for kids that this is all out finally, and basically they have never known their folks “together” so all we can do is hope for the best for them. PS. There is still so so much more dirty truths to come out on Paltrow but don’t worry she will be just fine and yes will be getting even more nauseating due to all this….aaaaargh.

  34. Carrie says:

    I can’t wait for the post on Goop where she talks about what she’s gonna do with that C tattoo. It’ll be great to see what she comes up with.

  35. JENNB says:

    At this point, I think Chris would do anything to be rid of this pretentious bitch. Just to have some normalcy in his and his children’s life. He’s just counting the minutes until he can take them for an ice cream. I hope he pays close attention to Apple because she’s probably well on the road to Gwyneth’s food issues and living in Hollyweird isn’t going to help.

  36. India says:

    I like what she has done. I think it’s a good thing and rather civilized. Whatever, to make this transition easier for herself and her children.