Wills Dumped Kate Because She Wasn’t Fun

Prince William has supposedly dumped Kate Middleton because he thought ‘all the fun had gone out of their relationship’.

If that sounds harsh, it could have gone a lot worst if he said what he really felt. I’ve consulted my Man Speak To Real Speak dictionary and have deciphered that what Wills really meant with that comment was: “I’m a rich commitment phobe who’s about to be King, baby. What I really want is to go out all the time and ogle/grab how many bimbos I want without you nagging me about where this relationship is going”.

Here’s what the Daily Mail have to say:

Prince William decided to break up with Kate Middleton because he felt the ‘fun’ had disappeared from their relationship, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.

The 24-year-old Prince told the girl many thought would be his queen that it was all over in a “face-to-face” meeting last weekend.

“He sat her down and told her, he didn’t gild the lily,” said a source.

Afterwards William told a friend: “I’m too young for all this. I’m just doing what normal 24-year-old blokes do. I don’t need to be nailed down. All the fun has gone out of it.”

Another confidant said: “His view is that since his mother’s death, life is for living and anything can happen.

“He is a very clinical young man. He seems to listen to advice and then does what he wants.”

Miss Middleton, who famously kept a photograph of the Prince on her bedroom wall before she met him, was left “desperately upset”. According to her friends, she had always believed they would marry.

Poor Kate. Everyone was so busy romanticising their relationship and going on about how much of Princess Di’s charisma Wills had inherited that they failed to take into account who he also shares his DNA with–Prince Charles. Yes, the insensitive oaf who when asked on announcing their engagement if he loved Princess Di responded with “Whatever love means”. The man who thought it was OK to marry a young girl and then keep a married bit on the side. Is everyone still surprised the Prince dumped Kate with that kind of influence around him?

I’m not saying it’s all familiar influence by proxy that made William leave Kate. William is a young, rich, and good looking guy. He’s a Prince, and as such is used to getting whatever he wants. In the end, what he wants the freedom of a single guy, and it’s better that he was honest with Kate now than marrying her and being as dithering with her feelings as his father was with his mother’s.

Kate is hurting right now, but as I see it, if any man dumps a woman after four years in a loving, committed relationship because she wasn’t fun anymore, she had a lucky escape. There are more things to a relationship than “fun” all the time, and if fun was that important to the Prince, it’s obvious she wouldn’t be able to count on him if something serious happened down the line.

Besides, as I said before, Kate is a lovely, pretty girl. Men are going to be lining up down the block just to watch what she’s got (I’m listening to Fergie, sorry). If the Prince wants fun, send him Disneyland tickets. After singing I Will Survive a couple hundered times with her girlfriends, I think Kate will be just fine.

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18 Responses to “Wills Dumped Kate Because She Wasn’t Fun”

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  1. lonna says:

    wow, you must’ve been in a huge hurry when you wrote this, too! you might want to go back and fix several grammatical errors =)

  2. Jessie says:

    Not in a hurry–jus pre-occupied with a hyperactive five year old. Thanks, I’ll go back in and fix them. 🙂

  3. Clarimonde says:

    I cant say i blame the poor boy. He is 24 yrs old. he has very few years of fun ahead of him before he is basically forced to get married, produce an heir and get down to the boring business of being a monarch. Who can blame him for wanting to get away from all the pressure the media and everyone else was putting on him about marrying Kate?

  4. Clarimonde says:

    They should stop putting so much pressure on him to get married. he’s a young man. He needs to go out and have his fun now, get it out of his system and then settle down when he is good and ready. If he is forced into a marriage before he is ready he will likely look elsewhere for his “fun” a few years down the road.

  5. Pecarrie says:

    A young man? He’s older than me and I don’t act like that.

    –>A relationship is not a playground.
    –>A woman is not a toy.

    GROW THE HELL UP, KID and GROW A BRAIN while you’re at it.

    (talking to William here).

  6. countrybabe says:

    Come on PreCarrie-He’s in the military now. I think he’s being very grown up. She doesn’t look or sound fun.
    He’s right most men aren’t ready to married until they’re 30.

  7. Bex says:

    Still valid points though. Don’t be cruel.. At least he was honest though and broke it off.

  8. Carol says:

    It’s not surprising with the media push for them to get married. He said repeatedly he wasn’t getting married for several years and they kept pushing it on him til he dumped her. I could see them getting back together after he calms down a bit and the press gets over the marriage obsession, if she waits.

  9. FF says:

    I’m sure somewhere along the line ‘fun’ translates as couldn’t pole dance and give oral on demand.

    Rich guys always strike me as wanting women who look utterly composed in public but turn into crazy sex fatales indoors. Oh wait, that’s most men.

    That said, if he’s not ready who wants to suffer that kind of dickering around. Better a clean split if he’s going to waste her time.

  10. FF says:

    I’m pretty sure that according to some sources they hated each other on the set of The Notebook but then got into a relationship. Sounds like one of those things with the potential for fast burnout. But at the same time, they’ve only ever been boyfriend and girlfriend as far as I’ve heard – where’s all this marriage stuff coming from? If they have split, I’m sure that didn’t help.

  11. m.a. says:

    I think you meant to put that in the post about rian what’s-his-face and that chick he’s dating(or maybe not anymore), rachel who’s-it.

    Anyway, Charles sounds like a creep. Just what I want my new husband to say about how much he loves me, “whatever love is”. How SWEET! What an ass.

  12. gg says:

    Charles is a cad of the highest order. I feel bad for both Wills and Kate, but Kate will have a MUCH HAPPIER LIFE without dealing with that pack o freakazoids the Royal Fammbly.

  13. Other Karen says:

    Sucks to be her though–four years down the drain, and she’d be in a bit of a holding pattern.

  14. Kiwi says:

    Fun??? He wants to have fun???

    With his great priviledge comes great responsibility. The British taxpayer funds his highly priviledged lifestyle. Whatever the monarchy wants him to do, he is obligated to do it. That is the price of his position. It sucks to be born into it, but that is the fact. If they want him to marry and produce an heir, guess what – he will have to do it.
    He’s not a charity case, and Britain won’t fund a playboy lifestyle forever. I’m sorry for him.

    The only way he will be free to have fun is to abdicate his position.

  15. chicmommy says:

    good analysis. I agree also, Kate’s better off without that bloke. Even though he is a hot bloke.

  16. jinty says:

    he is as hot as a horse – an inbred one.

  17. FF says:

    Yeah, I did m.a. My pop up thingie didn’t come up right and it posted to the wrong thread.

  18. Cristina says:


    If you want to talk about grammatical errors, why don’t you try starting your sentences with a capital letter first!