Chris Meloni says his ‘perfect’ derriere gets him in trouble

Chris Meloni

I’ve been on the lookout for possible Chris Meloni stories ever since his new show, Surviving Jack, hit the airwaves a few months ago. The good news? There’s finally an interview worth discussing. The bad? The show just got cancelled. Booo.

When I first heard about Meloni doing a tv sitcom, I was skeptical. I’m used to gawking at Meloni on Law & Order: SVU reruns. He’s done comedy before though. He’s also well known for his role on Oz. No matter what, Meloni will always be Det. Elliot Stabler to me. Maybe he’ll return to SVU now that his new tv gig has become the victim of bad scheduling. A girl can dream.

Before the bad news dropped, Meloni paid a visit to Conan O’Brien. He didn’t bring up the subject of his cute little rear. Conan started talking about it. I guess there was a national vote on primetime derrieres, and Meloni came out on top. He tweeted about his victory with much pride. Conan roasted Meloni about his tweets. Which is both funny and fitting. The man has a spectacular physique. If you haven’t seen it, well, the photos are out there.

Here’s a clip of Meloni talking about how dudes at the gym like to stand close to him in the shower and lather up. Meloni says his best asset is “a little genetic,” but he works to keep it in prime shape: “I know at some point it’s going to fall, so I might as well keep Father Time at bay.” BAM.

I hope you didn’t pay too much attention to what Meloni was wearing during this interview. That would destroy the fantasy. He seems to have a good sense of humor about his gym issue, but I think most people who had that problem would stop showering at the gym. Or find a gym that has individual shower stalls, you know? Creeps are everywhere.

I used this story as an excuse to find lots of Meloni photos. Scroll down for Mariska Hargitay in leather pants! #ElliotStablerForever

Chris Meloni

Chris Meloni

Photos courtesy of WENN

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73 Responses to “Chris Meloni says his ‘perfect’ derriere gets him in trouble”

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  1. HadleyB says:

    I don’t care how perfect his ass is. His face! BAh. Scary.

    Older men who try to keep their bodies looking like it’s 25 is ridiculous, especially when their faces are horrid . ( another example : Sean Penn).

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Oh, yes. They should all stop exercising and have the saggy old bodies they deserve. After all, aging is such a failure on their part. How dare they try to stay healthy? They should just die already so beautiful young people like yourself shouldn’t have to look at them.

      God, I am so sick of the ageism on this site.

      • V4Real says:

        Yeah Good NamesALLTaken shame on Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr, Liam Neeson, John Stamos and all those old farts trying to stay in shape. Who in the hell do they think they are. God these men are just awful esp, the ones who are not considered handsome by some people; why should they even bother. Grow old and fat like you’re suppose to.

        Please tell me she wasn’t being serious or she’s a teenager….

      • HappyMom says:

        Thank you, voice of reason.
        Another Middle Aged Woman who Still Can’t Believe it’s Happened to Her

      • Nicolette says:

        *slow clap* BRAVO, GoodNamesAllTaken!!!!!! I always love my 83 year old Mom’s response to someone young as they moan and groan trying to get around her because she walks too slow for their liking. She just gives them a look and says, “Someday YOU will be old too.” It shuts them up immediately. They seem to forget that though we may be on different paths, those paths all wind up the same.

      • HadleyB says:

        Yes I know everyone gets older but some older men( and women) seem to go to EXTREME to keep fit or overly fit and it makes them look even older in the face.

        I am not saying don’t work out or take care of yourself but don’t think your body is 25 when it’s 55.

        It’s utterly ridiculous you can’t say anything about age, race, bodies unless it’s “racism, agism, body shamming, pregnancy, ” etc .. what is there to talk about? I am not going to blow sunshine up someones butt because some celeb gained weight and it’s ” body shamming”. I call it like it is. Cruelty no, bluntness yes. Am I perfect? No, hardly. But curvy is not 50 pound over eight, its fat.

        I just used gaining weight as an example FYI. **example**.

        I always feel like I have to put a disclosure at every post. It’s tiresome.

      • blue marie says:

        Well you are just a bundle of sunshine HadleyB

      • V4Real says:

        But it seems as if you’re referring to Meloni because he is a man of a certain age. What extreme is he putting his body through unless you consider going to the gym extreme.

        Let’s not forget there are people in their 20′s and 30′s going on extreme diets to lose weight, getting botox and plastic surgery. If you want to call it like it is why don’t you include all ages who go to extremes to look a certain way.

        And yes perhaps you should put a disclosure at every post that starts with what seems like an off the cuff comment like your initial post.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:


        What “extreme” is he going to? Exercising? There are many reasons to exercise besides “thinking you’re 25.” How do you know what he thinks about it?

        And go back and read your original post. It was pompous, self-righteous and ageist. If you don’t want to constantly have to explain yourself and defend yourself from “shamming” by which I think you mean “shaming,” I suggest you think of other people besides yourself before you speak. It’s not that hard, and you might find it helps in a many different areas of your life.

      • bluhare says:

        Thank you, GoodNames. I thought it was just me!

        HadleyB, I understand your point about having to put disclaimers on posts; I’ve felt that way and I agree that people get too sensitive sometimes. Your original post read like older people shouldn’t care how they look because they’re old, though. Which when you read it that way, I hope you’ll agree that it sounded very dismissive.

    • Kiddo says:

      I never found him hot, still don’t, but for crissakes, if he is taking care of himself, you’re going to dis that? It’s not like he had pec implants or a facelift where he looks freakish and otherworldly. Maybe when you get to his age, you’ll be lucky, and find yourself a nice, saggy, out of shape, beer-gut guy.

      • V4Real says:

        I find him very attractive in an unconventional way and it has nothing to do with meeting him twice. He was such a nice man on both occasions. I think I just fell in love with his character on Law and Order SVU. He will always be my Stabler.

      • paranormalgirl says:

        Yeah, I never found him hot, but there is NOTHING wrong with keeping your body in shape. My husband is in his late 50′s and he works out because he wants to and because he likes to.

        I guess I should stop running and training for marathons and triathlons because I just turned *gasp* 50.

      • Kiddo says:

        @paranormalgirl, How dare you stay in shape!! What will the kids think? /s

      • paranormalgirl says:

        no one ever thinks of the kids!!!!!

    • mrspatrickbateman says:

      I think he’s extremely attractive, he’s very masculine and rugged not a pretty boy.
      However I can’t fault someone for keeping their body in shape, good on anyone that keeps fit and active throughout life and doesn’t think a toned body should only be for their 20′s.

    • blue marie says:

      *snorts* Seriously? You’re in for a rude awakening when you get older. This dude is not my cup of tea, but he has a kick ass body and there is nothing wrong with him maintaining it.

    • Dani2 says:

      Sean Penn is nasty just cuz he’s Sean Penn, those two don’t ever belong in the same sentence imo.

    • kellybean says:

      I guess I should just stop lifting weights because I’m 42. I am in better shape than most 20-year-olds out there but I guess I should stop since YOU think it’s ridiculous.

      I like his face and body. To each their own, I guess.

    • Jay says:

      I think he’s sexy, receding hairline and all. And I’m 23 years old. I say good on him for being an older man and maintaining such a great physique with a significantly slower metabolism!

    • Samtha says:

      Seriously? I hope you’re 17 or 18, and with that hope, I’ll give you this tip: when you’re older, pray you find a man who looks this good and takes care of himself like Meloni does.

    • Nicolette says:

      @HadleyB, with that mentality I can just imagine what shape you will be in when you reach middle age. Be forewarned, your metabolism will change so you no longer will be able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Your body will change, you’ll notice that when you hit your 30′s and especially if and when you have kids. Your hair will start turning gray, and lines will start showing up on your face. Or as Dolly Parton said in Steel Magnolia’s “Honey, time marches on, and eventually you realize it’s marching across your face.” What exactly you find so unsettling with people taking care of themselves is beyond me. Youth is fleeting, enjoy it while you can.

    • Jen34 says:

      I can’t get past this first comment. Your youth is showing in a very bad way.

      • Dee says:

        lol. Honestly, I haven’t read anything so ridiculous in days. I’m not even taking the time to reply directly to her comment because nothing but time can change that kind of thinking. Logic usually doesn’t work with people with this kind mentality, especially not over the internet.

        “I want wisdom but wisdom’s only friend is time
        Who I, I run away from
        But he always catches me and walks faster than I ran
        Time always gets his way
        An uninvited guest who spends more than just one day
        Told me the only way that I can meet wise
        Is if he brought his friend mistake”

    • Look, if more men my age or older took care of themselves then I wouldn’t have to date these f*cking twenty-something dudes which is frankly, exhausting.

    • Delorb says:

      I find him to be unbelievably hot. Body AND face. He’s also talented and without the huge ego that would come from being on TV for ages. His OZ work is spectacular, especially since he didn’t mind going full frontal. He had me at HELLO!

      • possibly probably says:

        Delorb, i could not agree with you more on every point! he is delicious AND talented. have loved him since Oz, loved him on SVU, i was so disappointed that Surviving Jack was rubbish (i thought).

    • Kath says:

      HadleyB: Here’s a hint. If you have to include a ‘disclaimer’ in every post so that you’re not ‘misunderstood’ – it means you’re being rude.

      Hey, I just call it like I see it.

  2. Nev says:

    awwww the YUMNESS.

  3. Kali says:

    Cap Ass has competition. Yowza :O

    • Emma - the JP Lover says:

      Yep … I can see his fine ass ‘ASS of LIFE’ getting him in trouble. Chris Meloni is–and has been–waling sex on a stick for decades now. He’s just got … it! :)

      And his electric blue eyes? Can we talk?? (somebody get me a fan!)

      P.S. Cap’s ass is fine, too! (fan!)

  4. truthSF says:

    Ooh Yes, Yes it does. Yummy! :-D

  5. Roo says:

    Oh I just love him so much. This post made my morning.

  6. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I can see why other people find him sexy – he’s handsome and does have a nice behind – but I’ve never found him so. There’s something asexual about him to me. He seems like he’s too uptight to be fun in bed. Idk why.

    • Sighs says:

      If by asexual you mean ASEXUALGOD, then yes, you’re right!

    • Delta Juliet says:

      I think his apparent uptightness is what I find attractive. LOL Like he’d really let lose in the sack ;) Then again, Daniel Craig gets me HOT and they don’t get much more bitchy looking than him.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Hmmm…I adore Daniel Craig. I can’t explain the difference. One is hot to me and the other not. Go figure.

  7. Adrien says:

    Lovely. Thank God, Chris’ melonis are finally given attention. Also, boo, Fox, boo. They didn’t give Surviving Jack a chance.

  8. allons-y alonso says:

    Chris Meloni – my silver fox!

  9. Darkladi says:

    I need some Trouble in my life

  10. Reindeer says:

    I JUST watched ‘Surviving Jack’ for the first time last week. It was surprisingly really funny! I’m actually kind of bummed that its getting cancelled. Darn :(

  11. Jaderu says:

    Ya!!!!! My Stabler! Im so mad at Fox. Grrrr. Please go back to SVU! I NEED my Stabler!
    My sister and I were watching reruns last night and we both agreed Stabler and Olivia should have got it on like donkey kong.

    • Delta Juliet says:

      They really had the best chemistry. I haven’t watched the show in a few years but they were super hot together. I always hoped they’d get together, although that usually spells bad news for tv shows.

  12. shannon says:

    I will always love the poster boy for rage, but there are beards and then there are beards. I think his wife is definitely a beard.

  13. eliza says:

    I am a sad case of catching SVU reruns on USA all the time. Stabler, upon further viewing was the world’s worst cop. Lol

    His time on True Blood was too short. I liked him as a vampire.

  14. aenflex says:

    I would absolutely hit it.

  15. OriginallyBlue says:

    He’s so hot! I actually liked Saving Jack. The son on the show is pretty goodlooking as well.

  16. yolie says:

    He’ll always be Gene to me from Wet Hot American Summer!!

  17. Evie says:

    Hot, Hot, Hot!!! And ruggedly handsome. Thanks for posting these pics Bedhead! Hope he goes back to Law and Order SVU…

  18. Regarded says:

    I’m 20 years old, a diehard fan of Law and Order: SVU, and I think Chris Meloni is SMOKIN. Not just his body – but he has a really handsome face too.

  19. Alex says:

    Meloni has been more beautiful. His bald head makes her forehead look too big. About his much talked about attribute, her ass, I think exactly the opposite: she’s ugly, because too large and upturned. Men should not have big ass.

    Too bad the article just highlight your ass. Meloni is a great actor. I really enjoyed him in everything he did. Surviving Jack unfortunate that has been canceled. In SVU Mariska Hargitay and he made ​​a great duo. And Mariska turned my passion: what a beautiful woman and talented actress.

  20. ALF says:

    I prefer the ass Mariska Hargitay. As for Meloni, she’s looking like the Frankstain. Horrible.

  21. Kori says:

    As a side note–the photo of Meloni & Hargitay is taken in front of a step up (or whatever they’re called) for her foundation Joyful Heart. She founded it in 2004 to provide support to survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse. It’s raised millions of dollars (over $20 million as of 2011) and it’s good to see her old partner supporting her there. (At least I think that’s a recent shot based on both their haircuts) They were tight off-screen after working together so many years and her co-stars have always been big boosters of her charity.

  22. CoolWhipLite says:

    I question his shirt choices….but I adore him. I think he is one good looking man!

  23. Az says:

    There is a reason the man is and has been the #1 in my freebie five for the longest time. YUM.

  24. Emma - the JP Lover says:

    @Bedhead, who wrote: “He’s done comedy before though. He’s also well known for his role on Oz. No matter what, Meloni will always be Det. Elliot Stabler to me. Maybe he’ll return to SVU now that his new tv gig has become the victim of bad scheduling. A girl can dream.”

    I know! It’s almost like they ‘wanted’ the show to fail. I saw a few commercials and then tried to Google the show to see when it aired. When I didn’t get any results I assumed it wasn’t a mid-season replacement after all … that the PTB had decided to move it to Fall. But it’s been cancelled?? Damn.

    I don’t know about Chris’s permanent return to TV as his dance card is pretty busy in films these days, I’m happy to say. :) He was in “42″ and “Man of Steel” last year and he is in the “Sin City: A Dame to Kill for” (2015) film, which just wrapped production.

    Personally? I am STILL a Twisted Sister because his role as Chris Keller in “Oz” is still my favorite. :)