John Oliver: ‘I hung on to my virginity like it was a precious jewel’


There are very few people I love more than John Oliver. I watched the first five episodes of his HBO show Last Week Tonight, but once I canceled HBO, I’ve had to make do with watching clips of his show online. A lot of people thought his HBO show was just going to be a budget version of The Daily Show, which was Oliver’s home for eight years, but I think Oliver has successfully played around with the format and created his own special brand of lunacy/hilarity. Like Jon Stewart, Oliver can take down an entire industry in under seven minutes. He’s already taken down advertisements-embedded-in-news stories, the death penalty, FIFA, Dr. Oz and GM. (If you’d like to watch some free clips of his show, go here.) If anything, I think Oliver goes after bigger targets more successfully because he’s on HBO and HBO doesn’t give a sh-t who they piss off. That’s basically what Oliver confirmed in a new Q&A with Cosmo:

Stylish Cosmopolitan editor Joanna Coles observed on Tuesday that John Oliver, the one-time tousled former “Daily Show” correspondent, has “had a bit of a makeover” since jumping to HBO.

“They suggested I get a haircut. But there’s so much more to be done,” British comic Oliver lamented at a Q&A with Coles at Hearst Tower. “I have cosmetically erratic teeth.”

Oliver said that the comedic takedowns on his new series, “Last Week Tonight” — including his scathing exposé on FIFA before the World Cup — have resulted in endless phone calls with the network’s lawyer.

“He’s like ‘Charlie’s Angels,’ but really depressed,” Oliver said of the attorney assigned to his show. “He’s a guy on speakerphone who is always warning us. They’re more nervous if we’re dealing with someone like FIFA who enjoys being in court.”

But, “Consequently we were right, so FIFA can go [bleep] themselves,” Oliver added.

The news maven revealed his morning media diet consists of, “the BBC Web site. I check the Liverpool scores.”

He also had some advice of his own for Coles’ magazine, which tackles issues like equality in the workplace as well as regular features on relationships and sex.

“I have a Cosmo sex position,” he offered. “It’s called, ‘The Apologetic.’ It’s part fetal and basically involves a handshake.”

[From Page Six]

If you couldn’t tell from those quotes, John Oliver has a really beautiful, dry English humor. But one of my favorite details about him is that he married an American girl, an Iraq War veteran, and he became an American citizen.

Cosmo also sent us this video of Oliver doing word association. I laughed so many times. “I hung on to my virginity like it was a precious jewel… and I was wrong about that.”


Photos courtesy of WENN.

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32 Responses to “John Oliver: ‘I hung on to my virginity like it was a precious jewel’”

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  1. jenny12 says:

    Yeah, he’s pretty damn easy to like.

  2. Snazzy says:

    I’ve never watched his show but seen a few clips – brilliant!!

  3. bettyrose says:

    Such a crush on him, but my SO says it’s just the accent. Not true. In addition to his nonstop wit & stunning intelligence, he truly has beautiful eyes.

  4. Lindy says:

    I have such a crush on him! He is charming. And brilliant.

  5. Christin says:

    He’s a funny guy. I laughed at his interview, particularly the description of the show’s attorney being like Charlie’s Angels (the never seen speakerphone voice of guidance), but more depressed.

  6. sigh((s)) says:

    Love him. Loved the FIFA segment. The most corrupt organization on earth.

  7. TX says:

    I am just so happy his HBO show is doing well. He deserves all the success in the world! Love you John, you’re the best!

  8. JustChristy says:

    It’s good enough that he ticks off all the boxes on my list (brown eyes, dark hair, glasses, he also seems kind of tall), but he’s also British and smart as a whip, and funny? And BRITISH! Goodbye, lady business, consider yourself tossed his way.

  9. Kiddo says:

    “cosmetically erratic teeth.” lol

  10. Adrien says:

    I’ve always been attracted to geeky, professor looking guys. John Oliver, Louis Theroux, Jarvis Cocker, Ira Glass are my crushies.

  11. Lilacflowers says:

    I cannot imagine my Sunday nights without his brilliant show. What frightens me is that he offers the most in-depth coverage of world events of any show on US television.

    • lunchcoma says:

      I’ve been surprised how quickly it’s become part of my routine – it’s one of the few shows I bother to watch live. I enjoy the Daily Show, but can’t really keep up with it on a constant basis because it’s on every night and a good bit of it is cracking wise about things I’ve already read about. I’ve enjoyed that Oliver is trying to expose his audience to stories they wouldn’t otherwise learn about or would only read in blurb form – and yes, it’s alarming that he’s actually covering more international events than a typical hour of CNN.

      • Lilacflowers says:

        Or all other US news networks combined. Seriously, did anybody else cover the elections in India? Or go into as much analysis of the government in Syria in the entire last year as he did in one episode? And the FIFA takedown was epic.

    • Bucky says:

      In just a few weeks, it’s become must-watch television for the boyfriend and me. The writing is incredible.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I love his show! I appreciate that he can dedicate as much time as he wants to one subject, because he doesn’t have to worry about advertisers and going to commercial.

  12. Reece says:

    I love him!

  13. TheOriginalKitten says:

    He’s great.

  14. Cel says:

    I’ve enjoyed every minute of that show. Totally knocks it out of the park.

  15. krastins says:


  16. Snazzy says:

    I love the fact that this thread has only positive feedback :) How nice!!

  17. Kori says:

    The story of how he met his wife (who is gorgeous and was an Army combat medic) while covering the GOP convention in 2008 is really adorable. “As his usual obnoxious correspondent, he was at risk because he could not afford to get arrested for anything — deportation loomed. So when he wandered into a restricted area and was pursued by security, he sought refuge among some veterans invited by pro-military politicians. The one who helped Mr. Oliver hide out was a female vet, Kate Norley. He was grateful, took down her email and married her three years later.”

    • Bucky says:

      I think it’s crazy that he married a Republican, because he’s so vociferously liberal! The heart wants what the heart wants, I guess.

      • Bob Loblaw says:

        My step-dad was a Reagan loving republican and one of the best men I’ve ever known. Book, cover, you know.

      • Mrs. Darcy says:

        I’m a fairly devout Democrat, but have some Republican friends. We can agree to disagree on most things. I have a few liberal friends who are like “ugh Republicans, cooties”, and I find it an embarassing attitude. I don’t get where they’re coming from either, but some of them are perfectly nice human beings. They’re just totally wrong in their thinking ;-0

  18. John Oliver’s wit is my dream man humor. I love his show. HBO continues to feed my politics addiction.

  19. derpshooter says:

    Hey, that’s line from French Kiss. A movie many people pan, but I love. Especially the scene in which Kevin Kline says this line.

  20. Bridget says:

    John Oliver wasn’t much my cup of tea until last summer, and then that was it. He was SO funny filling for Jon Stewart and I enjoy him so much. Danger!

  21. Mrs. Darcy says:

    I love him and it’s totally not the accent. He’s just adorable in every way. I’m married to a Scot so most English accents do nothing for me (aside from a select few).

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