I’m genuinely surprised that Sam Taylor Johnson (formerly Sam Taylor Wood) is putting herself front-and-center for the Fifty Shades of Grey promotion. It’s a new media paradigm for female directors, especially if those directors are somewhat celebrities in their own right. Sam covers the new issue of Red Magazine, and make no mistake, she has stuff to say about being a woman director in the studio system, and how she had to fight to protect her vision of the story. You can read the full Red piece here. Some highlights:
Working on the final edits for Fifty Shades: “I’m literally going out of my mind. I have seen this film over a thousand times and I’m now in a blancmange. But the nuances within – the tiniest shift, look, blink of an eye – can make all the difference and flip it into the wrong territory. It’s like walking a knife edge.”
Directing by committee: “I want to protect my vision and that’s the hardest thing. There are so many voices. With any idea, 12 people have to approve it. And then you make it and 12 people want to adjust it. And you have to try and keep them all at bay. To keep your voice clear. To keep the shape of your art. You think, you hired me because I’m a creative artist with a vision. Don’t try and knock it out of me.”
She’s staying true to the book: “I’ve practically eaten it. I have read it over and over. More than any other book ever. I had it on set with me the whole time. I have it in the edit room now.”
On her 23-age gap with her husband, Aaron Taylor Johnson: “Tell them to f–k off. If you love someone, you love someone. It doesn’t matter; age, colour, c’mon! We are tight. We travel as a pack. Aaron and I try not to work at the same time. When he was doing Godzilla in Vancouver, we were all there with him. And then they sent us back for Fifty Shades and Aaron was a stay-at-home dad and did all the school runs. And I think that consistency helped. I got lucky with Aaron, he’s amazing.”
What she wants to get out of Fifty Shades: “It’s going to be controversial, whatever. A Machiavellian part of me thinks if this is successful, it affords me the freedom and the power to make something on my own terms, later on.”
While I agree in theory that “if you love someone, you love someone,” the fact is that Aaron and Sam still got together when he was 18 years old and she was 41. I’m sorry, but that still bugs me. As for the rest of it… I actually have no doubt that Sam’s directorial eye will improve the source material. I’m not saying Fifty Shades is going to be a GOOD movie, but it will in all likelihood be more coherent and interesting than the book.
Sam & E.L. James also did a really good piece with Vanity Fair about the behind-the-scene struggle to make the film. Sam and E.L. James had a lot of fights and disagreements – you can read the full piece here. Some stuff I didn’t know: Aaron delivered both of their daughters (Romy & Wylda) at home. Aaron & Sam have four daughters combined (two older girls from Sam’s first marriage, plus Romy & Wylda), plus they have two girl dogs.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Red.
Fringing with EVERYTHING kind of terrifies me.
I don’t know, sounds kinda festive. 🙂
On underwear, even? What about eye glasses, baby diapers and ipods?
Festive, festive, festive and festive. Especially the eye glasses. And diapers have been the same old design for so long I say why not embrace this fringe-y change (no pun intended)?!
YASSS! So festive.
http://www.fashioneyewear.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Beyonce.jpg
https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Faa%2Fe6%2Fe3%2Faae6e3c1015484c34fa16e557d656eb2.jpg&f=1
Okay, festive it is!
*tears* YOU WIN! 🎉
Kiddo- I need to get that cowgirl diaper cover for my niece! You win the comments today with Mimif getting silver for the glasses. You guys helped me start my day with a smile.
That’s not exactly how I imagined fringe on glasses or a diaper…but damn those are pretty amazing examples of the fringification of 2015, lol!
Marrying a teenager when you are 40 is just kinda creepy.
I’m not giving her any slack. If she were a dude, she’d be getting skewered here.
It’s just gross and parasitic. IMO
She looks like those school teacher’s who go with their students.
It will end badly, when he grows up one day and wants out. imo
But…fringe.
lol.
Totally. She grosses me out.
Also, Wylda??? Poor girl!
I agree- he was only 18. That might be legal but come on…..when I was 18 I was an idiotic kid (and shouldn’t we all have that time). Comparing that to race bothered me- it’s not the same. At all.
It’s weird. No bones about it. But at this point they’ve been married for kind of a while and have 2 kids, so it’s beyond the “look at my shiny new toy” phase and they’ve by all appearances created a stable and loving family. Go figure.
Good for her! Age is just the number for some but unfortunately not for all. I say, it deosnt really metter and who I am to say who should be together and nobody should do that.
It will end worse than any other Hollywood marriage? They’ve already lasted longer than a lot of them, so there’s that.
Uhhh WHAT is happening with her legs on that cover? Photoshop fail. The rest of her looks great.
I don’t think it’s photoshop, I think her knee is just bent and turned. Still looks awkward as hell, though.
She has knobby knees and large calves. That’s just the way her legs look when crossed.
I want to know what is going on with the Photoshop of her poor cleavage.
I do find it kind of icky that he was only 18 when they got together. (I find it icky when a man in his 40’s does the same thing. Hell, my mom is dating a guy who’s 15 years younger than her and I find THAT icky, lol).
I’m sure they’re happy and so on but I can’t wrap my mind around it…I’m almost 40 and the idea of dating someone that young makes me cringe.
Ah well, to each their own. Also, I read that VF story and it’s good. I’m still not going to see the movie but the article is a fun read.
IIRC he said he had to really pursue her. He was hitting on her from the time they were working together but she held off on it because he was so young but he refused to give up. I don’t know if they’ll last but the older I get, the more I think there’s something to be said for living in the moment.
I just find it icky. 41 yr old woman with an 18yr old man….
after reading about Prince Andrew with the 17 yr old.
I’m sorry if that hurts feelings but that’s JMO. It feels parasitic in nature a 40
something person with a teenager. Yuck.
Good point.
If everything in life was rational- it would make for only a linear, dull existence.
I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship – with a narcissist (well, 4 months before but read on). It killed me inside. I got up one day and realized my head wasn’t obsessing like it used to be, and my heart didn’t hurt anymore. I was SO stoked to NOT DATE and enjoy a some time as a productive single woman! BAM! 2 nights later I met my boyfriend who is….sometimes I call him an angel. I really had no choice but to invite him in.
Sasha, I ended a 2-yr relationship with a narcissist at the New Year, and I am really suffering. I am working a program for healing fhe childhood wounds that make a person unconsciously attract such a relationship. I’ve never felt worse in terms of myself, and seem to have very little resilience right now. It’s a special kindof hell.
I’m glad you have healed & risen above it.
Azurea – What’s the program called? I think most of us have wounds that we fight to keep covered or struggle to breath long enough to heal.
The first thing I think when a woman dates someone this young (or even older but tragically immature) is that she desperately needs to be needed and be more of a mother/teacher than a lover. She uses sex as the hook and lies to herself, thinking of her affection as a protective cocoon when it’s really a manipulative cage. While it’s true that both of them is getting something out of it – The younger person in that dynamic is usually being used in more damaging ways but neither person really sees that at the time.
My opinion about that is heavily dependent on the emotional maturity and life experience of both people though. It’s just very hard to believe that someone so young (19) could have much by way of either.
mytbean, it’s called Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, by Melanie Tonia Evans.
She uses a technique she developed called Quanta Freedom Healing, after she nearly died from the emotional turmoil of such a relationship. It’s about uncovering & removing the wounds & emotions stored in the body, rather than talking & thinking your way out of it. I thought I had done a lot of this work already, and I’ve had to deal with the death of my husband 9 yrs ago, as well as the breakdown of another relationship before this one. This relationship was problematic for me all along, (though I thought it was actually going well the last while,) so I always thought if it ended I would be fine. I’m not a spring chicken, so I can’t believe how broken I feel, considering my life experience. The way a Narc enmeshes himself in your psyche is just insidious. The focus of the programme is accepting the gift of being shown where you need to heal, not analyzing the Narc & being a victim. It’s very hard work. 😢
Never Mind the Narcissists, and what look like set-up spæm/vanity comments/replies (ditto yesterday, most suspicious).
With this kind of age gap, I wonder if she is doing the good mother thing with him – just like older men want to play the daddy, to seduce.
I had a young man attempt to “court” me; and so I put my foot down, by not dying my hair for a while – after all, I have my dignity to protect.. Honestly, with sons myself – I am totally grossed out to think that I would be dating a man younger than one of them. My sons would be terribly uncomfortable with that kind of situation.
After that, I just don’t care – whatever floats it for them… whatever! I wonder what will happen as she loses the older woman to become the old woman? Men have pride in their attempt for masculinity. Most of them, all want to be the hunter with the most strikes on their bed posts. Whatever.. I guess we are all supposed to say, good for them.
@Wolfpup
When my mom was going to college last year, she had college guys hitting on her left and right. And she’s FIFTY. And she’s had five kids and looks it (meaning, although she looks freakishly young–like her mid thirties–she is not supermodel skinny). She had to tell them to back up, because she had a daughter his age….she was really grossed out, lol.
I do have one thing to say about biology – we women peak later (men earlier) and live longer than men.
So we’ve got that going for us! Just saying! So good for your mother, Virgilia. I think it’s kind of cool. From a purely feminist perspective.
Not that I’m a cradle robber, but I have gone out with younger men. And it was absolutely fun!
i don’t see the big deal with age differences as long as both people are adults. However, that changes if there is a balance of power issue (professor/ student, boss/ employee, director/ actor, etc) then I think there is reason for major shade. My husband is older than I am by over a decade, but we are equal partners in our marriage. I forget about it until I ask him things like “would we have dated in high school?” And he reminds me “no, because when I was 16 you weren’t in kindergarten yet.” Oops. Good point baby.
I wouldn’t shade this as much if he was even mid twenties when they started dating. Or if he was 19 and she was late 20’s, very early 30’s. Or even someone in their late 20’s dating someone in their 40’s. The older you get, the less of a jump their is between maturity levels.
A 19 year old isn’t mature – even the super mature ones aren’t THAT mature because their brains just haven’t fully finished growing. They’re an adult legally but they’ve barely been out on their own, they’ve barely led a life that is THEIR’S. I got married at 24 which is young in a lot of ways. But between 18 and 24, I changed sooo much. It’s a really strong growing point development wise. Myself at 18 was a lot different than myself as I near up to 25.
They’re saying that the brain isn’t even fully developed until around 25. Between 18 and 25 the prefrontal cortex is still changing and maturing – and it’s responsible for personality expressions, and decision making as well as other important things of that nature.
See, it doesn’t really bother me that much–my dad was 21, and my mom was 34 when they got married. My mom had three kids. And my mom is/was my dad’s first serious relationship. According to my grandma, my dad very rarely dated as a teenager–he had a date or two–and he had one semi-serious relationship as a teen, and the girl dumped him. And then all of a sudden, they found out that he got married and was a stepdad to three kids. And had two more within three years….
So I get the “ewww”ness of Aaron being 18/19 when they got together, but it really doesn’t bother me. I think growing up in the cesspool that is the movie business kind of made him more grown up in one way, but obviously kids are a whole different level.
VC
21 is not 18. And 34 is not 41. So much development happens in those ages.
I always viewed it like this. If you really want the best for them why not just take a step back. See if time lessens their feelings and if it’s more lust than love.
Sure, he was legally an adult, but she never shut him down. I doubt he would have pursued her so much if she firmly denied him with no flirting.
But she seems kind of immature so why not.
This is what has always bothered my about their relationship. An age difference can be overcome if both are equals in other ways, but he was just SO young and hadn’t had much of a life of his own compared to hers. It’s different for everyone, but the 25 thing makes a lot of sense in terms of moving to a new phase of life and maturity.
VC- I think that’s different. Like I said – it depends on the ages more than the gap. My best friend married a guy who was 28 when she was 21. He had two children, and everything has gone wonderfully for them. She’s always been ridiculously mature, dated around all she wanted prior to this, and was just mentally ready to settle down before she met him. It’s still a gap developmentally, but she truly was very mature for her age. We just celebrated her sons 1st birthday, and honestly, I don’t think I could have picked a husband better for her than hers is. 7 years is still a decent chunk of time especially in your 20’s but they knew what they were looking for. My issue is that it seems like she swept over an 18 year old, wine’d and dined him, showed him a refined lifestyle and married the guy she’d kind of turned him into.
Erinn- I totally agree. I do side eye this relationship (I would if she was a man) but it’s not because of the age gap itself- he was 18! If he had been 25 & she was 40 something I wouldn’t think anything.
How old is leo dicaprio? 39, 40? He dates women who are 20-22? He is teased, yes, but no one thinks twice about the age difference with who he dates. For that matter, Madonna is 50 something and dates 22 year olds. 18 is really young though, some are still in high school…..I don’t even know what I would have to talk about with an 18 year old. I’d feel like their mother.
Same here but I’m 9 years older than my husband. Agree that it just isn’t an issue or something I think about day to day.
When he asked me out he was 25 and I was 34 and I was really uncomfortable with the age difference and he had to convince me it didn’t matter. I’m so happy he did, I love him so much, we have a great marriage.
Long ago, I dated a man 13 years my junior. He was great, for about 5 years! The biggest problem with age gaps for me (including much older men), is that the culture that we grew up in, is so disparate -big things like what music we enjoyed. I also hated being around his much younger friends, I was too mature to fit in with those youngsters, in accordance with my own tastes. It became obvious, that this was not a good choice for me – I enjoy a more seasoned man, rather than an exuberant juvenile.
This is about a 40 yr old dating a teenager. If he were 25 I wouldn’t be bothered.
But also what was he 17 when she first met him?
It’s just gross. Prince Andrew is being skewered for going with a 17 yr old.
This is just creepy and she creeps me out.
I am 4 years younger than my boyfriend. We had the high school talk too. Logistically, I *only* crushed on guys IRL that were my year. He wouldn’t have dated a girl 4 years younger when he was a teenager.
But even if we were the same age, we wouldn’t have dated in high school! I was nerdy and had zero experience with the opposite sex vs. he was an arty rebel who drank, smoked, and personality wised would not have consider us a match.
We met at the perfect time in our lives for us to build something special. I don’t know if I would have been ready for it six months earlier. Likewise, he was winding down a year long workaholic spree that had him working 7 days a week!
Yeah I don’t care about age difference per se but getting with an 18 year old and immediately tying him down with a family is unhealthy, 18 may technically be an adult but it’s not actually one the brain isn’t fully developed etc.
Agree. It’s hard to imagine a guy his age becoming a father several times over almost instantly.
I agree with you, although from what I understand it was him that wanted the kids. She already had kids with her ex.
For me, the fact that he was only 18 when they got together…it’s too much, especially with her being past 40. That smacks of child abuse to me and it would be the same if it was an 18 year old girl and a 41 year old man. It’s just too much. He needs to live life and get to know himself. They all think they know what they want and who they are at 18, but they really don’t. When you look back at yourself at 18 or even 21… I was not a completely developed person. I was still so young and emotionally immature in so many ways despite living on my own and going to university, etc. Maybe it’ll work out, but I don’t have high hopes. It reminds me of Juliet Mills and Maxwell Caulfield who married when he turned 21 and she was 39, but even THAT isn’t as much of an age difference. Still, Mills and Caulfield stayed together and seem happy.
I like this couple but I completely agree with you on a personal level.
I can’t imagine wanting to date an 18-year-old, much less start a family with him.
He was only 19 or 20 when their first child was born. I also cannot imagine dating an 18 year old and having a child with him, and I am quite a bit younger than she was at the time.
I shudder to imagine what life would be like if I’d married the guy I was seeing when I was 18. Yikes!!
It makes me a little curious about his childhood, and if he was trying to create something he grew up lacking? To each their own, but it seems unusual for me for an 18 year old guy to want a much older woman PLUS marriage and kids right away.
I agree with everything you guys are saying, BUT!! In this instance, there were extenuating circumstances as far as the babies.
She is a cancer survivor. Two bouts of it- colon cancer at 30yrs old and breast cancer at 33yrs old. All her children, barring her oldest one, are miracles. Coupled with her age, I can see why they had them straight away because they probably thought it would be impossible given her health and age.
It doesn’t excuse what she did, but it might explain why she grabbed the brass ring as far as this relationship is concerned.
I am 33 and I cannot even imagine going out for a date with an 18-19 years old…
And having children with him. Different strokes, man.
If all these comments were boiled down, there’d be a strong distillation of ‘I can’t imagine’ resulting.
Point is, both Sam and Aaron can, and that’s the end of it. No crime, just a very happy family vs online outrage/prurience. EL James could write another emetic novel about it all, and some New Puritan could make the movie, and the scales would be even.
Yeah, 18 is just gross. His brain is not even fully developed. I would feel like a total perv.
My bf is four years younger than me and sometimes people say I’m robbing the cradle. I’m 31 and he’s 27. I can’t even imagine if he was 23 years younger than me. I wouldn’t want to face my friends. They would be so judgmental. And yeah, I’d feel like a perv. There’s the internal judgment too. How do you look someone in the eye at 41 and say your boyfriend is 18? I can’t get my head around it. It’s just too much of a gap for me to understand.
Yes! In the last year I’ve dated guys who were 26 and 27 (I’m 32) and people teased me about “robbing the cradle.” It’s not like I was looking to date younger guys, it just worked out that way. That said, I can’t imagine dating someone even younger. When I was younger, I dated older men and I now see how gullible I was. I never want to take advantage of anyone’s inexperience that way. Not to invalidate anyone else’s feelings– love is love and there can never be too much. I’m just talking about my personal perspective.
Yeah, I thought my bf and I were the same age when we met and clicked at a party. We had mutual friends and were in about the same place career wise, and we looked like peers. It wasn’t until we were on our first date and I was already falling for him that I found out he was, well, younger than me. We weren’t in high school at the same time. I was out of college before he started. I babysat kids his age when I was 13 and they were 9.
But… we’re both adults. Grown ups. Both of our brains are fully developed, etc. It took a year for me to be truly comfortable with it. We love each other and we’re a team, and I’m over my friend’s jibes.
I have no problem with two consenting adults. But 18… No.
Yes, GoodNames. My sons are teens so I am around teenage boys a lot. The older ones, 17 or 18, look like men but truly they are still boys. Of course some are more mature than others but I cannot for the life of me look at them in any other way than a maternal one.
And I know there are exceptions to the rules but to imagine any of them taking on fatherhood — either of babies or of older kids from a previous relationship — in a few years is pretty unfathomable.
I wonder if he will resent it when he gets a bit older.
I knew a woman at 39 met a 19 yr old, She married him. His whole family hated her but he was in marital bliss, he claimed, until…..
He hit 26 and all hell broke loose, he wanted out, she was devastated. His mom and his sister’s helped him take care of the baby, while he went back and finished College. The 46 year old woman was a mess when he left her. She is now dating someone else young and attempting to get this one in marriage too.
It just looks creepy.
Marrying a teenager when you are 40 is just kinda creepy.
Who cares if he resents it one day ten years from now. Life is messy and should be about good times and creating happy memories. Maybe they’ll split up one day – most couples do. Does that mean we shouldn’t open ourselves up to love and happiness when it presents itself?
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!
Yes. Good point.
Ok, yes age is a state of mind and how you feel all that. Love is amazing and I believe they are actually in this and are alright. For now.
You do sooooooo much changing between your early to late 20’s. I wish them all the best, I really do but I just don’t see how this could work. In Hollywood or in real life.
I don’t care how well read and worldly you are, I am 39 and I cannot have a “normal” conversation with a 19 year old.
Again, this is just my experience and opinion.
MernyM
There’s no timetable indicating how much maturity one must display at any given age, nor are there legal penalties for those who get stuck at one young age and stay there for 50 years. Some definitely do not change from teenager to mortgage-chaser during their twenties.
As for incompatibility based on differing life experience etc: you just never know. An intellectual type can find common emotional ground with a semi-literate son of the soil, if they both share a markedly kind and generous disposition, for example. A person can fall in love with a younger person’s innate sunny nature (for example), recognising its worth, even if the latter has no idea who Brian Jones was. Emotional intimacy doesn’t depend on facts, after all.
I agree too that, sweet and close as they seem to be, they both rushed their relationship very fast. Nothing is wrong with an age gap, but it seems to me that if one partner is barely out of high school and the other is divorced and hitting middle age, you might went to take it slow and date a while before you commit. You really change so much between the ages of 18 to 25 or 30, that I can’t image it is a good idea to settle so quickly.
This. She didn’t just date an 18 year old, they had children and got married very quickly as well.
Go on with your bad self, Sam Taylor-Johnson.
Kind of agreeing with you there.
And I read that VF piece, it was good – couldn’t believe they delivered their own children, they do sound really tight as a couple. I wasn’t surprised that E.L. James knew nothing about making movies, but I was by the amount of merchandising that she’s doing. She’s already made $100 million off the books ffs!
Yeah, she’s definitely on the fringes of decency with his age — I’m against that, on principle. That said, I admire her enormously as an artist. Also, she’s a survivor, having overcome colon AND breast cancer. Then, she bears him two children in her 40’s. Wow. Finally, she puts up with everyone shaming her on a regular basis while working as a woman director in a typically male profession. She’s indomitable — like a human tank.
I think she’s awesome. We don’t know anything about the inner workings of their relationship. While my knee jerk reaction is to judge them based on their respective ages when they got together, really, what business is it of mine? If it’s working for them, more power to them.
Its icky as ‘ell. 18 to 41.
Dressing it up with social commentary changes nought.
My own opinion but nope. #sorrynotsorry
Perfectly said, I agree.
I agree, it’s icky.
A year or two younger and it would be close to Epstein pedophile territory.
If this were a man, people would be screaming. Pedo and investigate when she started with him, etc……
If it was a man, nobody would care.
Personally I don’t even think it’s the age difference so much that people really want to ask “what happens when you are 60 and he is 37 , will there still be sexitimes???”
Me personally, I’m 38 and couldn’t imagine dealing with an 18 yr old, but it’s obvious Aaron is not the average bear. If they like it, I love it.
Yes they would. There was a story about 57yr old Steven Bauer dating an 18yr old and people were just as grossed out by it.
If it was a man, lots of people would care. At least on this website.
that’s not true, people make fun of leo di caprio or robin thicke for dating 18 year olds, too.
if anything I find the opposite is true; a lot of women who don’t support men dating younger seem totally fine with women doing it.
“I find the opposite is true; a lot of women who don’t support men dating younger seem totally fine with women doing it.”
I’ve been guilty of that. Rightly or wrongly, we often view it in a different way because it’s still (relatively) uncommon. Older woman-young man relationships can feel like they’re ‘balancing the ledger’, ie. making up for decades of seeing old man-young woman couplings. They feel a bit like bucking patriarchy with all its conventions about female roles in relationships (mustn’t be older, mustn’t be taller, mustn’t earn more money!). We probably shouldn’t view it any differently when the tables are turned but I do understand why the response is different.
uh….Prince Andrew….
Steven Bauer
uh….Prince Andrew….
Steven Bauer
Old people still get busy, lol. My mom worked in a nursing home for years–and the one thing she learned is that if you always got busy when you were younger, that didn’t change just because you got old. Some of the stories she’s told me will simultaneous make you laugh and gross you out.
There was an STD epidemic in a nursing home my friend works at last year, and apparently it’s not that uncommon. Old people have zero fs to give.
I want to be one of those old people getting busy! (minus the STDs of course)
I feel like people would still care, but it’s wouldn’t be the focal point of discussion like it is with Sam Taylor Wood. Every discussion about her dissolves quickly into a discussion of her relationship and whether it’s right or wrong etc.
If it were a man he’d be in the Daily Mail with the pedo stories, circling Prince Andrew.
It would be way worse, if this were a guy. IMO Especially with all of the current headlines, the press would be going for the jugular. Wanting to know when the man started seeing her, was it legal age, etc…..
I think it’s pervy, there is nothing romantic about a 40 yr old woman, bedding and making a husband of a 18 yr old…it’s an oddity.
“If you love someone, you love someone. It doesn’t matter; age, colour, c’mon!”
That’s problematic in that I’m sure that’s what the people molesting underage children are saying as well. I know – he was 19 when they started dating. But she was a 42 year old woman at the time. It’s legal, but it’s gross. She was legit old enough to have been done a 4 year degree and be his mother when he was born.
Do we actually KNOW when they started dating? Everything I saw was that they started dating in June (he had JUST turned 19 that month -he’s a June of 1990 baby – and it was probably when they officially became a couple – so they were dating when he was 18 I’d assuem) and were engaged that October.
I give her just as much side-eye for this as I give the men doing this kind of thing. It’s weird. I can’t imagine being in my 40’s and having something in common with a 19 year old – even a mature 19 year old.
I don’t know. I guess sometimes it works. I just don’t like the idea of a woman in her 40’s looking at someone who’d just be graduating high school and considering them a legitimate dating option.
Thank God there are people on this site who know English and know how to use it so much better than I. Erin, everything you wrote!
“If you love someone, you love someone. It doesn’t matter; age, colour, c’mon!”
Yeah isn’t that MAMBLA’s mantra? 😉
Haha, exactly! I’m sure there were much much better ways for her to articulate her point 🙂
Funny, but browsing the comments through the last Marilyn Manson post, everyone seemed to keep a soft spot for him, finding him so cool, smart, the kind of guy so pleasant to have a drink with.
Nobody was upset that this almost 40 at the time dated an 18 year-old Evan Rachel Wood (I don’t mean you specifically, I haven’t obviously memorized every commenter’s name).
People may pretend they give an equal side eye when it’s a man doing this, I feel the double standard persists. They wish they would, but it really only bothers them when the gap is extreme à la James Woods, Steven Bauer.
They never married or had kids. Also, he’s Marilyn Manson. I think the bar for standards people hold him to is pretty low.
I have a soft spot for Manson as far as his intelligence goes and how screwed up his childhood seemed to be. I don’t agree with the dating Evan Rachel Wood thing though. I can think he’s an intelligent guy and still disgree with his dating. But at least he didn’t marry her and have kids with her. It seems more ‘grooming’ with Sam because it’s like she groomed him into her husband. Same as people liking her work or whatever, and still disapproving of her dating/marriage. Like I said – it’s not like it’s illegal, but it’s gross.
Are you kidding? Manson is the most revolting, reprehensible famewhore alive who pretends he’s edgy and hip. It’s revolting when any person of any gender decides that they would like a partner who is so much younger and more raw. If you’re 50 and your partner is 30, it’s different because at least you’re both clearly adults with a decent amount of years being one. It’s another when someone likes the youth of another, but makes sure it’s legally okay….. barely.
As for how the got together, I don’t know much about the Taylor-Johnson relationship outside of this site, but I remember some months ago a post about them were similar discussions going on as now. Some commenters were citing articles and interviews from him around the time the first got together. The picture I was getting from what was being stated was that he saw himself as this wide-eyed, naïve, everyday guy that met this sophisticated, worldly older women how took him under her wing and introduced him to her circle of artsy, accomplished friends and contacts. This is all second hand, so I’m not trying to make judgments on it, but I definitely got the feeling that she is the dominate force in that relationship and his youth and inexperience plays into that.
How do we know that HE didn’t pursue HER? Why assume she was the aggressor?
So what if he pursued her. It’s still gross that she responded.
Is anybody else getting a Jason Priestly vibe in that one photo of Aaron with Sam?
Now that you mention it, yes. Now I can’t unsee it!
I’m sorry but if she thinks she walking a knife edge between quality and crap with this film, she’s mistaken. It’s crap through and through, no matter how much time and energy she puts into it.
I have no doubt that she’s made a visually appealing film, but the source material is what it is. You’re right it’s crap. The trailers have been painful to watch and the marketing campaign has been exhausting. The Hollywood Reporter said that FSOG was tracking to open with 45 million and that, while there’s massive awareness for the film, it lags in interest. People might be tired of hearing about it. As for her relationship, who knows where they’ll be in another five years.
If you think about it..from a biological standpoint it makes sense.
I mean, when they met, both were their sexual peaks…just saying. And I’m sure the decision to have kids early on was due to the ole biological clock ticking for Sam. And Sam has said before that Aaron was the one adamant about starting a family.
In a way, it makes more sense than an older man with a young girl..although in that regard there are cross strategies at play…fecundity and security .
Yes, and that is precisely why I don’t have a problem with 40-something women with 20-something men.
But I have to be honest, the key term there is MEN. 18-year-olds are not men, they are boys.
Yes teenagers should be off limits to 40 yr olds, it’s bordering on Pedo territory.
Let’s put it this way… He’s closer in age to his children than he is to his own wife… dun dun dun
What’s it been…5,6, 7 years for them?
So, they are married and have kids and have been together what 5 or 6 years?
I have less problem with that than some serial “dater” of much younger women (looking at you in about 10 years, DiCaprio..)
It won’t last, and will be a mess. No way he stays with this woman. He is growing up himself.
Leo dating dating 20 yr olds all through his 30’s…..so what.
20yr old models are Adults.
This is not even close to the level of Leo.
About the funny looking leg; maybe it’s just her leg pushing into the other one in front, giving a slightly distorted effect? I’m more entranced by the whole, how can they not care that everybody must think they are mother and son, enjoying a day away from work and college, how nice – wait, what are they – euuuugh!”
I doubt either of them gives a toss about the opinion of people who hold such opinions. Her response (to the predictable probing) in the interview was succinct and much more restrained than it could have been, imo!
It’s still bordering on pedo territory and gross.
You keep making that same comment over & over. I don’t think you actually know what that word means. If she pursued him when he was 8, it would apply. Not at 18, or even 17. You might consider it inappropriate, but it’s not pedophilia.
Read the Epstien, Prince Andrew headlines, 40 something dating a 17 year old, the press is calling it pedo…
She’s bordering on pedo territory, IMO….if he was 17 when she started eyeing him….it’s just GROSS. There is nothing romantic about this marriage.
A middle-aged person dating a youth of 17-18 yrs is not a pedophilic situation precisely, unconventional yes, but that young person is sexually mature. However, immediately marrying the young date and tying him/her down with kids, is to steal their youth. Youth which should have been enjoyably spent gathering experience and opinions, enabling him/her to choose a truly suitable life partner later on. I am afraid this will end in divorce. Poor kids. The husband included.
No matter how she -or people.. Ahem Lainey- code it, a director in their 40s (male or female) dating their 18 year old actor is not only creepy but inappropriate and unprofessional. I don’t doubt they love each other very much, but at 18 you’re still growing up and immature. Anyway, not my circus not my monkeys!
Yup, I agree with all of this. I don’t get why Lainey, usually so intelligent, thinks this is appropriate and intriguing. He was still pecking his way out of the shell.
I do not believe he was 18 when they starting fooling around. I believe he was 17 and they decided to make it public when he turned 18. She is no dummy.
If this was a man I will say the same thing, this is predatory in nature and marriage and kids do not make a difference.
On a superficial note, HOLY PHOTOSHOP, BATMAN. That is a completely different woman on the cover.
The only other thing I have to say about the age difference is “HOLY CLOONEY, BATMAN!”
YES he was 17 when they started filming, so really, he was pursuing her and going after from that age. It’s gross, you’re an adult woman it’s up to you to turn away a teenage boy’s infatuation with you. Not decide I’ll marry him! They only went public when he was 18 or 19, but I remember reading some article where it said they were acting major flirty on set of their film. I don’t know how people- lainey- cream their pants over their relationship when it’s been shady as hell since the beginning.
Tiffany I agree. I think he was 17 also…
This is pedo territory.
You keep on saying Pedo territory and said that the news on Prince Andrew referred to it the same way. Well both you and the news agencies are using the wrong term. “Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger. As a medical diagnosis, specific criteria for the disorder extend the cut-off point for prepubescence to age 13.” This quote was taken from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition by American Psychiatric Association.
By all means you can keep on using it but you are not correct. It is not Pedophilia or anywhere near Pedophilia.
Gross. Its not love because if this was not hollywood this wouldnt have happened. And if he was 75 it wouldnt have happened. Shes gross.
I’m getting more and more frustrated with Lorde. Why would she even engage with people like Taylor Swift? Musicians like Taylor and iggy could be long gone next year, she’s the kid who can actually make something to the world!
I quite like her and she sounds like an interesting woman. I have no issues with age gaps as I’m the child of a couple with an age gap BUT, the fact he was only 18 and she her in 40s is odd. I think that as the older person you end up denying a lot of experience to someone younger. I’m now in my mid 20s and a completely different person than at 18, and I’m glad I got to experience that. I think he should have been at least 22ish for me not to side eye this relationship.
The older I get, the less I care about these age gaps as long as everyone is legal/over the age of 18.
Live and let live but I am about Aaron’s age and I can’t help but wonder if part of the reason there are so many immature guys–MEN–my age is because people, especially older women,tend to infantilize them and do the complete opposite with us…how can’t they see they’re shooting themselves in the foot. No wonder many of us go for older and older men.
I think it’s biological-men just mature at a slower rate.
I’m glad I got my boyfriend when he was 34 because from what he tells me, he was a real prick at 25.
I don’t know if I believe that and studies have shown that girls mature faster *physically* than boys before puberty (we can see this when girls are taller than boys) but once they both hit puberty they mature at the same rate.
18 years old go to war, can legally drink in UK and many other countries….Anywho’s, right now I prefer older men but if I found someone like Aaron, someone around my own age, who is just as mature as many older men are then I would definitely be happy.
I’m in Aaron’s age gap as well and, tbh, I think men and women are both equally immature – we just show our immaturity in different ways.
Some of the moms in my school actually made me think it’s us who grow up slower… these women were well into their 30’s and were displaying more questionable behavior than their children.
It’s funny you mention this @Kitten, because I have a similar experience. My husband and I did actually date when he was 23 (I was 21/22) and he was kind of a prick back then! We broke up after 1.5yrs, then he found me almost 10yrs later, and we’ve now been happily married for almost 5yrs. He needed that handful of years in between (we BOTH did) to mature, learn to be less selfish & egotistical, and realize what we really wanted in life. Hubs is a totally different man now at 36 than he the boy he was at 23. 🙂
Most studies show all adults don’t have fully formed adult brains until around 25. If women seem more mature, I suspect that’s a product of socialization. After all, we aren’t telling boys at age 15 not to walk in dark alleys or cover up bare skin.
@ Observer… Not true. Men mentally mature more slowly as well. Their frontal lobes take longer to develop than women’s do. Frontal lobe is responsible for decision-making and weighing consequences. This is why you see more young men driving recklessly etc. than women.
It’s gross. He was 17 when this all started.
It’s just gross.
And dating and marrying a guy 20yrs younger still won’t make her young.
It’s just gross.
There are so many immature guys because so many young guys are immature lol.
So many men are immature…. full stop. Or I should say take much longer to mature. Sorry to say, but this has been my experience. My husband was 7-years younger than me when we married and it was never a day to day issue with us, but after divorcing I realized that he was too young when we married (he was 24 -I was 31). He was very mature when we met; we were together for 14 years, had two great kids and while I do consider our marriage a success ( the two great kids) I’ve found most men mature at a very different rate than women. I think after mid-life is when this starts to happen for men. Mind you, this is my very unscientific opinion.
I didn’t know anything about the author until this post. At first, I loved how she treated the age gap question. She’s perfectly flippant. It’s no one’s business and she puts them in their place. But upon reading the numbers, it’s disturbing. Had he even moved out of Mommy and Daddy’s home? Did he have any sense of self beyond his school years? Did he feel he needed someone to help him grow up? Why did she feel most comfortable with a boy as an equal partner? Something is way off with this pairing.
Excellent points.
18/41 age gap is quite big, and like alot of you, I find it to be too much. At least for me personally. But they have kids together, so I hope all goes well. I just can’t imagine looking at ANY male that age and getting any feelings other than “what a cute kid” type things.
I find it specially icky because hes just a year older than me, yet they have the same age gap I have with my mother. Its disturbing.
Its very shady.
i dont agree with the “amazing connection”, not denying it, just pointing out that we cant have a clue about that.
but i agree about seeing them differently than the other couples you mentioned. this isnt a desparate woman parading around her boytoy. he isnt a good actor and doesnt come across as a guy with a really amazing personality that capitvates you, but he also isnt a vapid pretty boy.
its all obviously from the outside but they seem to have a lot more substance than other couples with that age gap.
still icky that he was 18.
Edit: this was meant as a reply, cant find the comment right n w.
Why is it so icky that he was 18? He’s older now. He made a decision. She has a lot of clout in the film industry.
Because she was 41. It sounds sorta predatory.
and he was 17 when this shady relationship jumped off…
To go back to the movie – I forgot about her as one of the few female directors, and I like how she talks about it, her artistic direction, etc. I’m glad she exists and is trying to do what she wants to do.
That said, it’s a shame it’s wasted on THIS movie. I just can’t see how it will help her be taken seriously and break into the boys club, you know? No more than how the author of the books is taken seriously as a writer.
But then again, if it makes money, Hollywood might not care. After all, Michael Bay has a career.
Clearly he is messed in the head. What normal 18 guy book up with a granny? Gag. He must have hooked up with her for career reasons. So sick.
Brilliant analysis, glad that’s sorted out. We can all go home now.
Woah…. Testy. Lol.
WardLittel I think you are the only person in this entire thread who is the least Judgmental and I must agree with your comments. I don’t know this couple or the real history behind them. so I will not throw them any stones because he was 18 and she was 41. I don’t think is ideal but I don’t think is repulsive. I believe they have fond love and have a good relationship so who am I to criticize them.
Yes totally pervy.
Some issues going on.
I’ll just say this, she always seems like an intelligent, interesting, and confident person in interviews. When I read her interviews next to an Aniston piece there’s no contest who I would rather have a conversation with. Whatever Sam and Aaron have, it obviously works for both of them and none of use truly know the circumstances/maturity/details. They seem really happy and well adjusted in pictures, good for them.
Definitely the older I get, the less I care about things. There are lots of weird reasons relationships works – the guy reminds you subconsciously of your father, the girls makes you feel cool by taking you to groups you haven’t heard of, they just smell right. If some relationships work because the older one is recapturing his/her youth and the young one is excited by being introduced to an exotic, adult world, I don’t care too much, although I personally find it incomprehensible. Back in the day, lots of 18 year olds, both men and women, started families. I think it is a little icky to take advantage of the power difference to start a family really quickly when otherwise this might have been a quick fling, but they seem happy for now. The one justification I can see for being a hypocrite on this issue, is that in other parts of the world, and throughout history, lots of young girls were unwillingly married off to older guys because they or their families didn’t have other options. So it has gross associations, and I guess it can be nice to see women being able to offer key and power to attract a younger mate.
I am the same age as her and can’t relate at all. Not judging and as others have pointed out, double standard is not fair when the tables are turned and the man is the older one. To each his own.
HE WAS 18?? I thought he was at least in his twenties. Now I am skeeved out. She can justify it all she wants, but it’s just as off putting as when the genders are flipped in that situation. Eighteen is so young, SO YOUNG, and I’m happy for them that it’s working, but still…how do you even connect when your lives are at such different stages?
OMG! He is one good looking lad. She is lucky.
gross
I’ll be interested to see if they are still together in 10 years. Or even 5. And I would say the same thing about the reverse relationship (older man, younger woman). Mr. Qtpi is 6/7 years older and sometimes I really feel that difference. Most of the time it is perfect.
It reminds me of Patrick Dempsey. Twenty-six age difference with his first wife. I had to go look it up. He was 21 when he met her. She was 48 when they married. He was 22. They were married for four or five years. And she wasn’t a gorgeous-looking 48, like Kim Cattrall was in her late 40s. I could see it if that were the case. She looked like an older, mature woman that could be his mother. Very odd when you look at their photos. I don’t get what the attraction was for him as a young actor. She had a son his age and I don’t think she was wealthy or anything. she had a bit part in his movie and became his manager and had been an acting coach or something.
http://images.tvfanatic.com/iu/t_full/v1379968961/attachment/the-first-mrs-mcdreamy.jpg
How odd I thought of this and posted it today. I just read his second wife has filed for divorce.
Yes,that was a odd marriage.
The gossip around Hollywood was she was his Manager/Agent….and part of the reason he married her was for career reasons.
They seem happy. I’m happy for them. Statistically women live longer than men so it makes sense to go with a younger man for that reason. He was an adult. He’s entitled to be with who he loves. He’s attracted to a smart and powerful older woman. That’s refreshing. People need to stop nipping on the haterade so much on this site.
I agree with you.
I’m glad she doesn’t care about what these people think. Smart Move.
I presume all those people who think an 18 year old is a child, or too immature to decide to get in a relationship are regularly protesting at military recruitment centres.
If you can’t decide you love someone at that age how is it that yo can committ to blindly following orders to kill people?
I call it hypocrisy. “You’re old enough to go fight for me and die to defend my life but you’re not old enough to live your life as you wish, I’ll tell you how”. Pathetic. I don’t give a s’it what other people think when it comes to relationships. The only thing that matters is if both sides agreed ro enter this relationship freely and if they are happy. Kudos to her and more power.
I don’t think people here think an 18 year old isnt capable of being in a relationship, just that hes immature for a 41 year old lady. Its just really weird that an experienced woman would choose to date a guy just fresh out of high school.
Bingo! well said!!
I wasn’t some high school kid when I had my children, but the age difference between her and her husband is more than that between me and my kids. Which I have a hard time wrapping my head around, lol. Whatever floats her boat and makes them happy!
It’s weird. I’m 27 and I never want to date a teenager! Its unusual to be married settled down and with kids at 18/19. Let alone in Hollywood? I’m glad I didnt do the same at that age.
I am in my late thirties and can’t imagine dating a teenager. I know he was legally an adult, but still. I hope it works out, especially for their daughters’ sakes, but it’s kind of creepy, and it is when men do it, too. No different than that guy from Scarface (I forget his name) dating an 18 year old. You’re going with someone legal, yes, but someone still very raw. And he was a dad at 19.
My god… So much hysterical pearl clutching! Who cares.
‘But the nuances within – the tiniest shift, look, blink of an eye – can make all the difference and flip it into the wrong territory. It’s like walking a knife edge.”
In other words: ‘if I don’t dress this up enough it will be even more apparent how abusive this supposedly romantic relationship is.’
If she looked like Halle Berry (for example), would it look as odd?..
I think that because Sam isn’t conventionally attractive and Aaron is does play a role in how people perceive them along with the age gap.