Sarah Silverman opened the first-ever live MTV Movie Awards with her raunchy trademark style. She told Jack Nicholson that he had “literally been in every single one of my favorite actresses,” and she said she wouldn’t go see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 because she wouldn’t see any movies longer than Cisco Adler’s balls. Then she said “Google it, it’ll be a great later laugh.”

She talked about the paparazzi, saying they’ve “made so many famous vaginas even famouser.” Then she said she “sees at least three famous vaginas here tonight,” and added “Oh Tobey Maguire, four, sorry.”

Silverman said she feels sorry for Lindsay Lohan, and that she needs a “father figure… someone to tell her that she is a rude little pig.”

People cheered for Silverman’s diss on Lindsay, and they cheered for her next statement about how Paris was about to go to jail. She then told the lame joke about how they’re going to paint the bars of Paris’ cell with penises and she’s afraid Paris will break her teeth.

Other memorable moments included: Sarah Silverman and Jessica Biel almost kissing in a segment as they talked super close to each other:

Will Ferrell And Sasha Baron Cohen rolling around and psuedo-making out out to celebrate winning best kiss for Talladega Nights:

Jack Nicholson saying the “F” word in a hoarse voice and appearing drunk on stage (link leads to video) while accepting the award for best villain.

Johnny Depp accepting best performance (link leads to video) for Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

Jay-Z and Rihanna performed “Umbrella” together, and Amy Winehouse belted out “Rehab.” It may have been true that Beyone wasn’t happy that Rihanna was performing with her man, as she was a no-show.

Here’s the list of winners:

List of winners of the 2007 MTV Movie Awards:
Best Movie: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”
Performance: Johnny Depp, “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”
Breakthrough performance: Jaden Smith, “The Pursuit of Happyness”
Comedic performance: Sacha Baron Cohen, “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”
Kiss: Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”
Villain: Jack Nicholson, “The Departed”
Fight: Gerard Butler vs. “The Uber Immortal,” “300”
Summer movie you haven’t seen: “Transformers”
mtvU best filmmaker on campus: Josh Greenbaum, University of Southern California
Movie spoof: Andy Signore, “United 300”
MTV Generation Award: Mike Myers

[From The Daily Mail]

You can watch the whole show on demand at MTV.com.

Here are pictures of the arrivals, show and press room.

Cameron Diaz and Mike Myers

Mandy Moore and John Krasinski (they are in License to Wed together, which is out in July)

Victoria Beckham

Jessica Biel

Amanda Bynes

Jessica Alba

Rihanna

Amy Winehouse

Inside the Awards

Press Room