Cameron Diaz: People use social media ‘to get validation from strangers’

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz covers the April issue of Cosmo UK to promote nothing. Really! Her IMDB profile shows no upcoming releases, and she doesn’t have a book coming out anytime soon. I sometimes joke about Cameron having a standing date with Cosmo covers, but maybe it’s true.

The interview is typical Cosmo stuff. Cameron pays lip service to love making (she’s married now, so let’s not be gross). She covers her love of exercise and cake (both good things). I tried to grab onto her discussion about how people make excuses not to exercise, but that’s not much fun. So I’m defaulting to her judgy take on social media. To be fair, I’m judgy about it too. I love seeing links to fascinating stories on Facebook or Twitter but cringe at oversharing. Let’s do this:

On getting busy: “It’s something healthy that we need to be doing for many different reasons.”

On regular exercise: “You have to just do it. Once you commit and really put in the effort, your body goes, ‘Oh, it’s not OK to be without this.’ People say, ‘My body rejects exercise.’ No, it doesn’t. Your mind rejects exercise.”

She loves cake: “Wellbeing is an equation. Remember, you don’t have to have the whole cake, you can have a piece. Don’t deprive yourself. Have fun. Just be self-aware. If your equation is 80% good, 20% bad most of the time, then a little movement toward the centre isn’t going to affect you much.”

On Facebook & Instagram: “I think social media is a crazy-ass experiment on society. The way people use it to get validation from a bunch of strangers is dangerous. What’s the point?”

[From Cosmopolitan]

I agree with Cameron (to an extent). Social media is an enjoyable way to share useful links and shoot the sh*t online. But some people do use Facebook and Instagram for validation. They try to convince everyone else that their life is omg, so amazing. Have you watched this short film about Fakebook? I find it hilarious, but my wall is mostly limited to dog photos, so what do I know? Cameron used to Instagram, mostly to promote The Body Book. Her Facebook profile still promotes the book, but she’s bored with social media for social purposes. Whereas her husband, Benji Madden, Instagrammed a massive “Cameron” tattoo last week. Poor guy.

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

Photos courtesy of Cosmo/Matthias Vriens-McGrath & WENN

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

93 Responses to “Cameron Diaz: People use social media ‘to get validation from strangers’”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Maya says:

    I completely agree with Cameron on social media.

    I have a Facebook account but haven’t used it for anything except birthday wishes for years.

    I don’t have instragam nor Twitter as I am a very private person who really don’t have to tell the world anything. It’s none of people’s business what I do or did and frankly I don’t care about people enough to ask for their validation.

    My family and close friends are the most important people and I send them pictures etc directly to their phone or email.

    • Bea says:

      My god I feel shitty about my life when I go on Facebook. Feels like everyone is sharting rainbows and buckets of gold except for me.

      • dr mantis toboggan says:

        Hahaha I know. I’m too boring to have a Facebook, or to even fake an interesting life like others do

    • Tifygodess24 says:

      The best thing I ever did was delete my FB back in 2010. So not the cool thing to do especially in your twenties but it felt so freeing. I figure if people want to keep in contact they will – and they have so it worked out. I still have Twitter and a rarely used Instagram ( because who can go completely cold turkey lol) but I’m much more anonymous on that so I like it.

      What’s sad to me, especially with the younger generation -they really do value their worth by how many likes and followers they have and most of their followers they don’t even know.

      • FKA Pri says:

        Same here, deleted it. I was active on Orkut (remember that?) years ago. Then I moved on to Facebook but then college happened and life got a little busy and then one day I just deleted my Facebook, mostly because my last online status was two years before that. Well, I haven’t regretted that decision till date.

        But then again, if at all I ever wanted to go online again I just have to login. So, no worries.

      • Tifygodess24 says:

        @fka – I don’t think I remember that site? Funny. And I agree it did help the first few years to know that I could just log in to reactivate if I really wanted to but thankfully I didnt. It’s just way to easy to get caught up in bragbook – I mean Facebook.😊😜

      • Mel M says:

        I deleted mine for a long time and it felt so good and freeing. I reactivated it though when my daughter was diagnosed and has special needs in order to be in contact with other families with the same diagnosis because it is very rare. That is the one and only reason I keep it and I still don’t go on but once a week or so. I hate how my family members are always asking “Did you see this or that on FB?” “Well it was on FB you should know” it’s like no! I’m not on it all day like you are. I would much rather get a phone call or text from someone if they have something special or important to announce then feel like I have to constantly be trolling FB. Oh and the people I’ve had to unfollow just so I don’t have to scroll through 30 updates in one day from them, just ugh.

      • FLORC says:

        Deleted mine. Never looked back.
        Life got better too. People stopped bugging me on trival news. Started calling or emailing or meeting for lunch to share news. Our interaction was more than just a like button.

        And while i’m always asked i I have a FB account when I reply I do not i’m met with praise.

        And Cameron is stating the obvious. Social media can make you seek and value yourself on the opinions of strangers.

      • Misprounced Name Dropper says:

        I removed all my friends from my FB account before deleting it. That way there’s nothing to go back to even if I wanted to. The older I get the more valuable my time is to me and I don’t want waste it on pointless distractions like FB. I’d rather give my attention to the stuff that enhances my life and gives it meaning, like: family, work, exercise and Celebitchy! 🙂

      • Kosmos says:

        Ditto…..I became bored with all the Facebook stuff and deleted my account. Even today, I never miss it because I am still LIVING wow, and enjoying life !! Seriously, though, it was fun for a bit, but I found that it’s really unnecessary, but that’s a decision each person must make for themselves.

    • Kitten says:

      But don’t you live in UK or somewhere outside of the US, Maya?
      I always got the impression that Facebook was way more of a *thing* in the US—-or am I wrong?
      I feel like it’s practically a religion out here.

      Anyway, I wish I had the strength to delete my FB page….

      • Maya says:

        Yes I do live in UK and it is still a thing here as well.

        My work colleagues have Facebook page opened during the day, some of my extended family members and friends write their daily posts like what they are doing, having for dinner etc.

      • Kitten says:

        I stand corrected!

        LOL @ “extended family members and friends write their daily posts like what they are doing, having for dinner etc.”

        Yep. I’ve had to block people for stuff like that, especially when it’s a daily post about a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast or something.

      • Kiddo says:

        But you welcome the Cheez-it chat, right?

      • Kitten says:

        Cheez-It chats are welcome but no webcam if you’re wearing your beige booty shorts and I’m wearing my BBQ sauce-stained muumuu.

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        I’m lucky I don’t have people like that on my FB. But then again, I go on FB to play games and look at some pictures (sometimes). The most annoying thing was when I’d join a group and want to DISCUSS a certain movie/tv show, and they’d go on and on about how hot the lead actor was. Like that was ALL of the posts. And I finally gave up and quit the group. I mean, James Spader is sexy and all, but I want to actually discuss the show.

        I actually deleted everyone who either didn’t talk to me (when I messaged them more than a handful of times) or who weren’t related to me. So like 95% of my friends list is my family and extended relatives, lol.

  2. Arlene says:

    Says actress, whose entire job description relies on the validation of strangers.

    • perplexed says:

      Hilarious. So true!

    • smcollins says:

      Lol! Touché

    • Gracie says:

      Too true. Didn’t she say yesterday something about what else (can’t remember what it was) wasn’t healthy but sex was? Does she know soundbites only work when they are witty? If not witty, at least funny?

    • Sugar says:

      And who constantly poses with phallic symbols in her mouth. So gross.

    • Thinker says:

      @Arlene – your winning comment sums it up. I’ll just add that I have Facebook and instagram privacy settings up. I don’t use it to communicate with strangers on any level, I use it for communicating with friends and family, especially those who live out of the country.

    • mcmiller says:

      You took the words right out of my mouth, Arlene.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      For real!!

      • pagirl says:

        Speaking of Cosmopolitan…. Has anyone noticed that Hilary Duff announced her divorce from Comrie, basically in Cosmo?! Apparently she filed less than 2 weeks ago (for the second time, I think… I seem to recall them filing and reconciling)

    • DrM says:

      +100 Arlene. And for the record I LOVE my Facebook. And it has nothing to do with strangers. I live on one side of the world and my family and friends live on the other. I talk to people I’ve known since I was 5 on a regular basis, have met up with all my old high school friends (all on the other side of the world), get to see what everyone’s up too, share books and recipes and news and alot of life’s ups and downs. It has saved me from loneliness when working abroad, when immigrating to a new country where I knew no one and where it takes time to make friends as people are quite reserved and let me stay in touch with people who’ve known me forever and who I can reminisce about teenager-hood, bad hair, boyfriends, parties etc! All good as far as I’m concerned.

  3. Allie says:

    And most actors/models don’t use Hollywood for validation from strangers? Ok, Cameron

    • Sabrine says:

      It’s a little different. She makes her living with validation from strangers and plays a fictional character for a short period of time. I quit Facebook and Twitter long ago. I felt I wasn’t living my real life when I was on those addictive sites several times a day. Now I enjoy watching You Tube cat and other videos, much more benign.

      • Kitten says:

        I love youtube cat videos, cat photos..catscatscats CATS!!!! lol

        My BF is trying to convince me to start up an IG account for my younger kitty. He thinks he has what it takes to be a star. lol

      • Tifygodess24 says:

        @kitten thats hilarious! You should. I shamefully follow multiple animal and foodie instas lol

      • Kitten says:

        I’m really tempted, Tify! I feel like IG would be more appealing to me than FB because really, I’m just in it for the animal pics and food porn. lol

      • perplexed says:

        Cameron Diaz has shared an unusual amount of information about her sex life. I don’t think she needs to share that personal information for her to keep making money as an actress, so I think she’s seeking something from the public, other than monetary gain, when she shares this info. The acting generates money for her, but I don’t know how discussion about her sex life does. I’m not offended by her discussion of it — but I don’t find it much different from the oversharing people do on Facebook (although no one I know has posted personal information about their sex life on the site).

      • Kiddo says:

        Just a suggestion for your IG account:
        This combines cat, action and culinary interests,

      • Kitten says:

        That could work. But I don’t think the little one would take too kindly to this:

      • littlestar says:

        One of my New Year’s resolutions was to go on Facebook less and I’ve stuck to it. I won’t ever delete myself off of it because I do enjoy using it to keep in touch with people (most family and friends live in a different province than me). But it feels great only going on once a week or so. I’m actually DOING things in the evening, like reading a book, running, cooking etc. instead of parked on my butt on the couch looking at Facebook. When you actually think about how much time you “waste” on the computer, you realize you are missing out on actually living life!

        And Kitten – Instagram is great! There are so many fun accounts on there to follow: cats (my personal fave is Cats of Instagram), talented photographers (I follow several Parisian photographers for inspiration), fashion and food accounts etc.

      • FLORC says:

        I read that as you watch videos of “catscat” or cat scat. Which hit my gag reflex and the thought.

        I’m with you though. I can get lost in easily an hour of cat videos. BTW. Kitten Bowl 2 this year was too cute!

    • JenniferJustice says:

      The only difference is she’s getting paid bc she made a career out of it. It’s not like she has the acting chops of say, Cate Blanchet. All she ever does is sexy party girl roles. This, from someone so vapid she didn’t beleive in marriage or monogamy less than two years ago and stupdi enough to vocalize it all because she wasn’t happily married herslef. Just more hypocracy from an uneducated ding bat who thinks her opinions matter. She should only share her thoughts with Goopy. The rest of us think she’s a flake.

  4. MelissaManifesto says:

    The comment about Social Media is not always true, but it is most of the time. I know people who cannot go a day without posting on Facebook or Instagram, react badly if they don’t get enough likes, and get really mad if others criticize them. I have a friend who has about 600 friends on Facebook (and counting), she complains about how people are always assuming things about her online and I always tell “Of course they do because you tell them something, no matter how insignificant four or five times a day. Naturally, these people are going to perceive that they don’t know you”

    You don’t even need to be overly personal on Social Media for it to become a distraction or feel intrusive.

  5. AustenGirl says:

    I agree with her about social media. I’m a Gen-X girl, so I grew up without this pervasive technology. I teach a university class on the social implications of technology and have been researching social media’s connection to depression, narcissism, isolation, and addiction.

    The weirdest use of social media is divulging one’s most private secrets on sites like Whisper. Yik Yak puzzles me because one can post stupid drivel anonymously within limited geographical areas. We just seem to have this rabid desire to be heard, even as we choose to spend less time with actual people.

    • Ana says:

      That sounds amazing and it’s a topic that interests me so much that I have been contemplating writing my dissertation on it! Do you have any books, websites, etc. that you could recommend me?

      • AustenGirl says:

        Ana, the class I teach is for undergrads, so I don’t have resources appropriate for doctoral-level research. If I find any that could work for you, I’ll post them here in the next few days.

      • Patty says:

        I’m doing something similar. I would definitely recommend “Alone Together” and “Generation Me”. And one of my favorites is Neil Postman’s book: Amusing Ourselves to Death. It was published in 1985 and is about television, but it is still relevant in my opinion.

    • Esmom says:

      YikYak is vile, it’s taken high school bullying to a whole new level. It’s so true that people love to spew ugliness online even as they spend less time actually interacting. It’s gross and scary.

      And I shake my head every day at people’s willingness to continue to overshare on FB. It has to be some form of narcissism and/or addiction. And I’m not sure it exacerbates depression but in a couple cases it has revealed it in people I’d otherwise not seen it in, for sure.

      • lucy2 says:

        I’ve seen a number of articles linking it to depression – so many people use it to brag, show off, or try to convince everyone how great their life is. If you read enough of that, I bet it’s natural to compare it to your own life and feel lacking – even though no one’s life is that great.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        Seems to be a way to vent frustration and anger for alot of people. I continue to be amazed with people airing their dirty laundry on social media. It makes them look dumb and trashy. And for the social media braggarts, it they have to try that hard to appear blissfully happy, sorry, but it’s a front.

    • Redheadwriter says:

      Would love to learn more about social media and its influences on depression. I see so many kids who hit that “stage” in their teens … and I feel it is so perpetuated by social media that they cannot and do not get out of it. I understand true depression; I’m not disputing there may be real, significant mental health issues. But I see my happy daughter getting sucked into this black hole on social media where it’s constantly validated and I think (mom’s humble opinion) that it makes it harder for kids to move past.

    • Ana says:

      Thanks for responding AustenGirl! 😀
      I’m actually at Undergrad level too so they’d be perfect!

  6. Lilacflowers says:

    Acting and modeling are professions built completely around seeking validation from strangers.

  7. Sixer says:

    I think social media is what you make it. Like most things are. I like to think I use it positively – to find out things and meet people that wouldn’t generally cross my path in Real Life. It wouldn’t suit me to use it for peer group validation or lifestyle show-offing, but if people do, I don’t really mind. I think when celebrities moan about it, it’s just a code for “the peasants feel free to make mean remarks about me”, however they frame it.

    I read a funny (well, serious but it was funny to me) article slamming the Facebook like button and the general fakery of much of the social media content the other day and speaking up for a bit of healthy pessimism from time to time. So British! Hang on: I’ll find it.

    • perplexed says:

      I think social media is pretty useful for getting news quickly. Not everyone shares what they ate that day — a lot of people share interesting articles I might not have seen otherwise. I think you can learn from other people through social media. Actors seem to assume people only use social media to tell everyone they burped — I’m not sure why they think this.

      I do find the cat photos and photos of kids rather dull to look at on Facebook, and I don’t like looking at it all the time because I wind up wasting unnecessary time on it, but I can skip through that just like I can skip through anything related to Kim Kardashian on Yahoo, and go to the articles people post. I don’t see anyone on my Facebook sharing bikini body selfies in their washroom the way celebrities do though.

    • lucy2 says:

      I agree it’s what you make of it. I still use FB, but rarely post anything myself. I like it for staying in touch with friends from college, or those who have moved far away, and there’s a couple of local news pages that are excellent and informative. My one book club is run through it, which is easy and free. I also think it’s great for charities/causes and small businesses, and sometimes there’s amazing pages like HONY.
      But I could do without those who overshare every thought, who feel compelled to update the world every time they go to the gym or their kid gets a cold.

      • Esmom says:

        My usage of FB sounds similar to yours. Some of my friends or “friends” post more in a day than I do in a year, seriously. I guess I’m somewhat of a voyeur because I like to see what others are up to vs. sharing what I’m doing. And I agree that it’s great for local news and groups, like my son’s high school band, and charities like the non-profit I work for that depends on volunteers.

    • LAK says:

      Sixer: that was funny article. Thank you.

    • littlestar says:

      Exactly. It’s what you make of it.

  8. Senaber says:

    I deactivated my Facebook account for Lent, and now I want to delete it permanently. Not only do I feel less stress, but certain websites I visit (like thesaurus(dot)com) tell me that I must sign into Facebook (thus reactivate the account) to view content that has nothing to do with Facebook or sharing. You can bypass it by reloading a few more times. It’s super creepy.

  9. maria says:

    Rossi & Morgan sums up my thoughts about facebook:

  10. smcollins says:

    Even though I wouldn’t reduce social media to that one point, she definitely isn’t wrong. I’m not much into social media (I don’t twitter or have Instagram, but I do have a Facebook page that I rarely go on and isn’t public), but I do see the benefits outside of the “look at me and my fabulousness!” that seems to dominate those mediums.

  11. Lb says:

    I’m trying to cut back on the Internet in general. I realized that I spend 75% of my day staring at screens and that I use the Internet way too much to avoid doing things I should (exercise, cook, read, find a new job, and especially go outside more). It hasn’t been going so well though. It’s been an annoying winter and I’ve been using the Internet as a crutch. As a good first step though I did deactivate my Facebook and I don’t miss it at all.

    • perplexed says:

      Yeah, my issue with the internet or social media is wasting time on it that could be used for more useful activities.

    • MrsBPitt says:

      LB…exactly what I do….I know I have a million things to do, and here I am on my computer! I’m addicted!

    • littlestar says:

      That was one of my big New Year’s resolutions – go on the internet and Facebook less, especially when I am at home because I am on the computer all day at work. It was hard the beginning of January because of those “withdrawal” feelings (haha), but then you finally feel FREE. I don’t want to be one of those people who look back on their lives and think, holy crap, I’ve spent SO much time on the internet instead of actually living life. And honestly, I feel happier reading a book, going to yoga, meeting up with friends for coffee etc than I do going on social media. It’s actually pretty startling if you start to think about how much time you spend in front of the computer.

  12. Anna says:

    In the words of the great Phoebe Buffay:


  13. jasperkitty says:

    No matter what you do…good or bad, you will eventually find someone, somewhere to validate it. You don’t need Facebook for that…it just makes it easier to find them.

  14. Kitten says:

    I agree with her about Facebook and social media but I also agree with Sixer that it’s what you make of it. Mostly, I think it’s pretty harmless.
    I use my FB almost exclusively for cat pics. I’m sure it drives a lot of people crazy (“ANOTHER photo of her cat?”) but I don’t give a rat’s ass. I love my cats.

    My boyfriend HATES FB with a passion so I’m not “allowed” to share photos of him, tag him in photos or write anything about him, which is fine because I don’t have any real interest in sharing my relationship with a bunch of relative strangers.

    • Christin says:

      My husband also asks that I never mention or show him on social media, which I don’t mind because I don’t like sharing stuff about my family. I will post pet pics (I have several dogs and cats), but that is pretty much the extent of my posting.

      My guilty pleasure about Facebook is to occasionally dive into seeing how some of the hot shots from my olden days (high school, etc.) conduct themselves online. It gives me a good laugh and head shaking when I run across a 40-something guy or gal and their followers / friends acting like they are still the hottest thing going when time may or may not have been very kind to them.

    • littlestar says:

      Cat pics on Facebook > than kid pics on Facebook.

    • Kitten says:

      Sounds like you two would be perfect FB friends for me 🙂

    • Ange says:

      I mainly use FB for the big three: family, cat pics and to write statii that mock everyone else’s aspirational bull (the last one: ‘making muffins from scratch like some kind of animal), it’s pretty fun if you stick to that. My husband got rid of his and he loves it but I couldn’t, it’s where I make fun of him now. 😉

  15. Delilah says:

    It’s a lonely world and some are better at filling voids organically than others. I was going to say “in the real world” or “in reality” as opposed to “organically” to convey that the virtual world is not comparable to real life. But I realized a form of interaction that can make people feel like or actually connected, ostracized, alienated, glorified, etc. is every bit as impactful, i.e., uplifting or dangerous, which makes the medium as real as anything else.

  16. sweetpea says:

    Doesn’t Cameron Diaz need validation from strangers for her paycheck? I mean, interviews in magazines where she shares info about her life to hawk movies..or in this case… hawk her recent marriage status

  17. Ice Queen says:

    I agree with her about social media. I do have Facebook, my family is scattered around the globe and we don’t always have time for Skype so we say a quick hi on FB…Also a lot of friends and acquaintances are everywhere, so FB helps there. No Twitter, no Instash!t…

  18. Kiddo says:

    Social media is a way to get validation from strangers, while being interviewed in magazines (also with an online presence) is not seeking validation at all?

  19. Ginger says:

    I love interacting with my friends on FB so I can keep in touch with them. And more than once a friend has really needed support and reaches out via social media. So, it’s not entirely a debauched, narcissistic tool. My FB is private and I only use it to keep up with my friends and do a bit of networking with other photographers. And I’m not immune from looking at photos of Grumpy Cat…she’s so adorable! My other social media sites I use for business. As a photographer, I adore Instagram. Plus, there are some really beautiful people on that site. Eye candy! But I’m in total agreement about oversharing on any site. I really don’t like bathroom selfies. Yuck.

    • littlestar says:

      So many awesome photographers on Facebook! As a wannabe photographer, I love getting inspiration from Instgram and seeing so many truly talented people on there.

  20. OhDear says:

    I’m not a fan of social media for all the reasons that have already been stated and the fact that the privacy settings on many of the social media sites are crap, but it can definitely be used for good (e.g. passing information along during political uprisings, getting firsthand accounts of newsworthy events out).

  21. JoleenMean says:

    Whereas celebrities use magazine interviews.

  22. Lady L says:

    She’s too simple to realize she has described her own career. Talk about desperate.

  23. Caroline says:

    An actor saying they “don’t get” that people on social media want “validation from strangers”

    That is the entirety of celebrity existence. Is she just upset that civilians can now get this too??

  24. M.J. says:

    My family all live across the country from me, so I use Facebook to keep up with them. My Facebook is strictly ONLY for my family (and two very close friends that are like family), they are the only “friends” I have on there. I just tell people who ask me if I have Facebook that no, I dont, or I’ll just say sorry, I only use it for family. I used to have a FB account that had everyone I ever knew on there, and I hated it, people were always fighting, boasting, etc., and I deleted that account. I don’t have that issue now, and when I share something on FB, people actually care, because they are all family members.

  25. serena says:

    Let’s hope this marriage last so that Benji won’t have to remove that massive tattoo. That would hurt.

  26. TessD says:

    Does anyone know where her blue one-piece swim suit is from?
    (it’s blue and black, not white and gold!)

  27. Veronica says:

    Social media is for validation from strangers…while celebrity is a purely noble and selfless pursuit, haha. Sometimes, the lack of awareness in Hollywoid is staggering.

  28. Josefa says:

    I find it funny that when people complain about social media, they complain about the pictures of parties and food and posts about how much you like Nutella and House of Cards. Not the racist/sexist/etc attacks that stem from political discussions. Not the invasion of your privacy by big companies. Not the stalking. No. The problem is 20 year olds are talking about what they had for lunch. These narcissistic spoiled pigs.