As predicted, Bobby Flay and Stephanie March’s divorce has already gotten messy. We knew this was coming. Even as the rumors of their separation began to circulate last week, most media outlets noted all of the rumors about Flay’s wandering eye. Flay filed for divorce on Friday and over the weekend, there were the first moments of push-back from March’s camp. She’s being painted as a woman who has gone through some health struggles and is now taking care of an ailing mother. And even though March is famous for Law & Order: SVU, she really hasn’t worked much in the past five years or so. So even though there’s a prenup, March is looking to walk away with a nice settlement. But Flay isn’t playing. According to TMZ, they’re already fighting about money:
Bobby Flay’s estranged wife says the famous chef is a brute who’s using his fortune to bully her into an immoral settlement. Stephanie March has declared war on Bobby, who filed for divorce last week. Her lawyer fired off a letter to Bobby’s attorney, expressing outrage because the chef sent Stephanie a measly $5,000 check for monthly support. TMZ broke the story, they signed a prenup in 2005 which established support at $5k a month.
Stephanie’s lawyer returned the $5,000 check, along with some choice words — “We regard the support provisions of the pre-marital agreement as unenforceable (not to mention morally reprehensible).”
It gets worse. Stephanie’s lawyer says Bobby was “bullying through economic warfare” by cancelling the credit card she uses for household expenses, such as groceries and pet supplies. And there’s more. Her lawyer says Bobby’s trying to pressure her into issuing a joint press release saying the split is amicable. Her lawyer says that’s a lie, in no small part because Bobby’s demanding she sign a settlement agreement or else she can’t stay in the marital home with her sick mother.
Her lawyer ends by suggesting Bobby was unfaithful, but acknowledges he denies it. Her lawyer then says Bobby tried to sling mud by suggesting Stephanie had an affair, which she says is an absolute lie.
It’s smart of March’s camp to go to TMZ. For now, the New York-based outlets (Page Six, the NYDN) are still dutifully reporting whatever Flay’s publicist tells them. Like, a “source” went to Page Six yesterday and said, “Bobby is sad the situation has come to this and does not wish to add the unfortunate public airing of very private issues.” Of course, at the end of the day, all of the gossip outlets want to fan the flames. They want this to get messy. And it probably will get a lot worse. My gossip prediction? Some of Flay’s former employees are going to start telling their stories about what he’s like as a boss (with a staff full of young, attractive women).
As for the money stuff… I can sort of see the point of canceling the credit cards because she did sign the prenup back in the day. But now she wants the prenup nullified and she’s willing to wage this war in public. Flay has an empire and he could easily give her a generous settlement to make this all go away. That being said, I don’t really like “woe is Stephanie March” because she doesn’t believe she could live on $5000 a month. $5000 a month doesn’t go very far in NYC, granted, but I still don’t feel sorry for her.
Oh, and Flay told March that she has six months to move herself and her sick mother out of the apartment they shared in NYC. Now THAT is sympathetic.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.
Oh cry me a river. She has residuals. And acting experience; she can go back to work. Like the rest of womankind when they get divorced.
I completely agree. They have no children and Bobby was a success way before she came on board. I really feel no sympathy for her because she is successful in her own right. Is she broke or just scorned? If he didnt ask her to give up her career why should he foot her lifestyle after they break up? Get a job Stephanie, simple!
100% right! No kids, able bodied, work! All these golddiggers, male & female, are sickening
That is what I was about to ask do they have kids? Kids are a game changer. She can work and supplement with the 5K a month.
I do think he cheated like crazy and is probably a big a**, so maybe a little signing off bonus would be a nice gesture.
If she has the dirt on him right a tell all or go to Diane Sawyer or something for some cash
She totally stopped working when she met him. There was no reason for her to quick SUV. This also sounds horrible but 20 million is not that much in NYC. I don’t think anyone that signs a prenup should be able to get out of it.
She should have agreed to $5000 a month +% adjustment for inflation for every year married. But apparently she isn’t smart about money.
None of those Law and Order shows ever paid that well. And I doubt the residuals amount to much. It’s not a successful sitcom like Friends, Big Bang or Modern Family that earn big residual dollars. Good luck with that inflation adjustment. Have you noticed the inflation adjustment in your paycheck? Most companies give 1 or 2 percent raises at best these days. The government says there is no inflation, meanwhile the cost of everything keeps going up up up–especially rents.
Inflation is usually 3 percent a year. But most pre-nups give you x for less than 5 and y up to 10 . She didn’t negotiate the agreement.
I don’t think I would marry a man that I felt made me sign a contract that was not in my best interest. Then again, I am not Stephanie March.
Seems the writing was on the wall from the beginning.
@Faulty thinking “None of those Law and Order shows ever paid that well” You’re kidding, right? You know that Mariska gets paid 450k per episode, right? I believe she’s the second highest paid TV star, after Kaley for TBBT. And, right around when March was on the show, it was getting 11-13 million views/night. Yeah, she probably didn’t get Mariska/Chris money, but she was considered the third or fourth lead . I doubt she was getting pennies. If she doesn’t have any of her own money left, she’s simply bad with money. And, this show is in crazy syndication – it’s on USA, TNT, NBC, Netflix, etc.
What kind of idiot lawyer negotiates a mere 5K a month at this income level? She should sue her lawyer for malpractice.
I don’t know the truth of their situation, but I have some sympathy. Yes, she could adjust to living off of $5K a month and find a job, but if he cuts off her credit cards, she is going to have to get new ones and might have trouble getting approved without a job, etc. And while she could probably find a minimum wage job tomorrow, it is not like aging actresses can just find steady work at the snap of her fingers. Moving houses, finding a new job, all that is a pain in the ass, especially if she is caring for a sick mother. It just seems crappy to make someone scramble like that if you have millions and have been married for ten years.
It’s not as hard as you might think. Besides, I read in a former post that the credit card was allegedly used for groceries and pet supplies. What Ding-Dong puts staples on a credit card unless you are going to pay off the balance in full, every month, in order to establish credit? Pay interest on food…really? I have little sympathy for grown adults that seem to be above common sense. Or maybe it is that I was raised to believe that credit cards were for emergencies, like a broken refrigerator, the emergency new tire(s), etc. Maybe if some of these types would learn to live within their means, personal tragedy wouldn’t be so tragic. Geez
@Floridaseaturtle, who wrote: “It’s not as hard as you might think. Besides, I read in a former post that the credit card was allegedly used for groceries and pet supplies. What Ding-Dong puts staples on a credit card unless you are going to pay off the balance in full, every month, in order to establish credit?”
Well, evidently an a$$ who wants to track his wife’s monthly expenses (what better way than a credit card statement?) and would rather have her use a credit card rather than transfer funds into her bank account. Since ‘he’ cancelled the credit card we can assume he was the one paying the monthly bills on it. It sounds like a control tactic to me.
@floridaseaturtle
ejem… some of the cards have points or cash back … if you know how to use them, pay them on time, etc. they can actually be better than having cash all the time. Now, if you lack self control, then I can understand. You can use a credit card and live within your means …
What a mess.. Stephanie does co-own a makeup business in NY called ‘Rouge’, I’m on their mailing list. I have no idea if it’s successful? He’s looking for a new place according to TMZ, so maybe she can buy his portion of her current home? Divorce is unpleasant with or without big bucks or celebrity.
Given where she lives, 5K a month is pretty paltry. Also, although she does not have kids, she has a sick parent to care for. He should give her more.
No kids and you can’t live on $5k/month?! She may have to move to the burbs…oh the horror!
@Mellie, who wrote: “No kids and you can’t live on $5k/month?! She may have to move to the burbs…oh the horror!”
Average working Joe’s can pay nearly $5,000 a month to live in NYC on rent, utilities, food, and such. It’s a very expensive city to live, especially if your monthly expenses now include the care and well being of your sick mother as well.
Come ON! There is such a thing as continuing on in the lifestyle to which you’ve become accustomed. No it doesn’t have to be the exact same, but she’s a former tv actress with no current job prospects nearing or at 40+ years in age with an ailing mom. $5K a month is only $60,000 a year!! You honestly expect her to go from being a millionaire via her marriage to living on 60k annually?? That won’t even get you a 1 bedroom loft in the village.
She shouldn’t have signed the prenup then. He has zero obligation to keep her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed if she contracted out of that right, which she did.
The conversation shouldn’t be about whether $5K seems manageable or not to us normal folk. It should be about what is legal and also what is fair. We don’t know what they agreed to as far as a life together – the plan could very well have been for her to leave her acting and be supportive. If he was building an empire while she provided a supportive foundation for him then she is entitled to hefty percentages of the profit he raked in during the marriage. If she lived a $45K lifestyle while married why should she downgrade because the marriage is over? The divorce alone will damage her credit score while he won’t even skip a beat.
She must have a crappy lawyer.
I’m with you, Imo. Bad lawyering on her side re her prenup, however. It should have increased as the years added up. I also 100% believe she should have some claim to what he has (and she has helped him) build his brand into over the last ten years.
Thank you. Finally a voice of reason.
EXACTLY THIS.
All that you have said is true, IF she did not sign a prenup. But she did. It is legal and fair to enforce contracts entered into freely between parties who had legal advice with regards to the deal. She will have a claim to some of his earnings/other property acquired during marriage, unless the prenup deals with that too.
As an independent woman, and a working woman, I think the conversation should be about honoring your f’ing contractual obligations. She signed the damned prenup – you don’t get to negotiate a mortgage rate because it seems like it “should be better” after all these years. You sign a prenup – the hubs goes off to make a zillion dollars, you renegotiate the prenup. If not, you honor your signature on the damn document you signed. I get so tired of people (women or men) who sign a contract and then think it shouldn’t hold up because circumstances have changed. In what other area is that allowed, or even attempted? You’re smart enough to negotiate a prenup, you’re smart enough to renegotiate a prenup. She CLEARLY has business people (agents, managers, etc) so I can’t buy that she wouldn’t know she could/should do that. Bad counsel may be blamed, but ultimately you’re responsible for what you sign. Live with it. She’s not going to starve and soooo many women would love to have a $5000 check coming in each month without working.
Thank you!
It is not always the lawyers fault. I cannot count the times I have tried to talk my client out of signing an unfair agreement, or to at least allow me to negotiate more equitable provisions, but the client shuts me down because they “do not care about the money” or they “know he/she will take care of me anyway, the agreement is just required by the family, business, or other third party.” No matter how much I explain that the written agreement is all that matters and that any pillow talk or promises are not enforceable, some clients still just sign so they can marry on the scheduled date. When I point out that if their partner isn’t generous now, when there is all the desire to marry and new love influencing their behavior, they are unlikely to be so when the love is gone and they are angry, hurt, and ready to move on, I still cannot dissuade some from signing an inequitable agreement. It could be is love blindness, hope, naivety, or a strong desire to obtain the higher lifestyle, but if they won’t listen to their lawyer, the lawyer can’t help them.
I wish someone would force ME to live on $5,000 a month….
But it says she had health problems herself, and now is taking care of her sick mother. But seriously! As a teacher, I loved off less than that for a long time.
That’s not the way it works Bobby. Stop getting married and cheating on your wives if you don’t like it.
Seriously. He must’ve been such an ass.
“Look out for the cheater! Make way for the fool-hearted clown!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbrEXfO-Hrc
As much of a prick as Bobby is if she signed a pre-nup she signed a pre-nup.
The timing with a sick mother is unfortunate but the best she can do is focus on simplifying her life so she can care for her mother as opposed to paying lawyers for an only slightly better settlement.
I agree. Can’t stand Bobby Flay, but she signed the prenup. How is it “immoral” for her to live by her word now?
Just because $5k per month is more than enough for most people to exist on, doesn’t make her a gold-digger, because the finances are relative to the wealth of the couple. Further, the agreement of the $5k was quite a few years ago. If the attorney said that the prenup was unenforceable, there may have been more to the agreement than what meets the eye, and there could be caveats for adultery, for example.
I think he does look like a bully, actually, pushing her out of the house.
He should stick to his guns or these prenups will become nothing more than a joke. There are no children involved. It’s too bad about her sick mother but that’s not his responsibility. She quit her job and that’s not his problem. People with means should really think twice before hooking up legally.
@kiddo
He was worth millions when she married him. She should have negotiated for a fair settlement then. You may be right about a clause that we don’t know about, but all divorce attorneys say that prenups are “unenforceable.” I just think that when you give your word, you should keep it. If I were going to marry BF, I would say no way am I agreeing to that paltry amount when you can just get tired of me and trade me in for a new model and go on with your luxury lifestyle. Especially if I’m putting my career on hold for you. But she knew that would be a deal breaker, so she just signed it thinking if the time came she wouldn’t honor it, and I think that’s wrong.
I almost wonder if it’s immoral because she needs to support her mother as well? Because, dude, I don’t care if you hate your ex, but if you’re willing to let someone die over it when you have millions of dollars at your disposal, you’re an AWFUL person.
Stephanie should have never let her own finances decline to the point when health insurance for her mother was neglected.
GoodNamesAllTaken, I understand the legal implications, the naivety involved in signing away agreements because you are in love and think it will be so forever, but at the same time, MOST, not all, marriage contracts would indicate some kind of exclusivity in sexual relations, etc. between the couple. We don’t know if she they had an any type of agreement that put her own career on hold, and so on.
I just know it’s standard practice for wealthy men to ‘cut off’ finances to exercise control. Since the divorce isn’t finalized, perhaps it’s not the strictest interpretation of the law for the prenup to go into effect. Additionally, the prenup may have had qualifiers, as I said before. He seems to be removing her from shared property, was that even addressed?
I agree with Kiddo. Bobby Flay’s income in the last ten years has increased exponentially. I am all for her taking him to the bank. She, I assume voluntarily, gave up her career to support him and his fledging empire. Frankly, $5000/mth in NYC isn’t much.
He’s a scoundrel.
Team Stephanie.
I don’t know how legit this is: http://www.jobsnhire.com/articles/20633/20150410/bobby-flay-s-net-worth-danger-getting-divided-imminent-divorce.htm
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I think he’s a total douche. And I agree, Kiddo, that many men use finances to exercise control over their soon to be ex. And if he cheated, he’s even more of a douche. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t sign agreements with the intention of not honoring them. That’s immoral, in my opinion. I have no idea if she did that or not, nor do I know whether there are clauses in their agreement that would mean she could challenge the prenup. So I really shouldn’t even try to discuss the specifics of this situation. Just generally speaking, don’t sign an agreement to pacify someone with the intention of breaking the agreement if necessary.
So it’s more immoral to break a prenup than a marital vow? Well, ok.
I guess she figures he didn’t honour his vows so she doesn’t need to honour the prenup. Unless that was written in as a clause – ha! – good luck to her.
What is the appeal with this guy? Is money really that attractive? I honestly find a lot of money a deterrent to attraction, it gives them all the power.
This wasn’t young love – she should have been better advised, legally.
Bobby is a (grain fed) assburger.
@McCraw
Why do you want to twist what I said? Both things are immoral. Both things involve breaking your word. I never said that going back on your prenuptial agreement was WORSE than cheating. I just can’t stand people who put words in my mouth and use bullshit to support their argument. It takes the civility out of any discussion. There’s no reasonable exchange of views. It’s dishonest, cheap and sleazy. So I hope it gave you some satisfaction, because it did nothing for me but lower my opinion of you.
GNAT
By all early accounts before this mess of a marriage happened he got around. She heard the rumors, but swore publicly to always and only be with her to court her. He won her over. As things go she seeked counseling marriage and actually refused work because he requested she make more time for him.
This all reads like he played her and she genuinly wanted her marriage to survive. Not so much for financial security, but rather for love and partnership.
Meanwhile he cheated quietly and consistently.
Because she went into this contract/marriage in good faith and he never truly changed from his playboy nature the contract should be nullified and in some states there are laws that do this no matter the prenup. Past x amount of years it demonstrates you really tried.
I have a prenup and in a few years if one of us cheats on the other resulting in the end of the marriage prenup won’t be worth the paper it’s printed on should 1 side try to challenge it.
BUT! In this case TMZ makes a lot of sense. March will air his dirty laundry and ruin what is left of his name. That shouldn’t be too hard. And with any luck he will settle or risk looking like a monster. Either way March gets more than she would have from the prenup. And she’s mad. I would be too.
@FLORC
As I said, I don’t know the specifics, and if he cheated, and if there is a provision in the contract or a law that provides for exceptions to upholding the contract in the case of adultery, I hope she takes him to the cleaners. My first husband cheated on me, and because the state of Texas where we were divorced takes fault in the break-up of a marriage into account, I got 60% of our marital assists to his 40. Obviously, I do not believe in cheating. My only point is that I think you should honor your word. She may be doing just that if they had an agreement with an adultery clause. I don’t know. I’m sorry I ever said anything now, and this is taking way too much time and energy in relation to the strength of my feelings about it.
GNAT, I agree with you. Adultery contracts aren’t actually all that common in prenups (for the “little people” at least, who knows what celebrity prenups are like). In any event, if you signed the agreement with legal advice then you are bound by it absent some sort of undue influence or fraud in the negotiation of the agreement. Cheating on her doesn’t invalidate the contract (unless that is a clause in the prenup, and if it was, I would expect that we would have heard all the details of it from her side by now).
He can be a total douche for cheating on her and whatever else, but being a total douche does not invalidate a prenup. If it did, the law of contracts would be completely meaningless.
Typo – adultery *clauses*
GNAT-
Calm down. I didn’t add or twist your words. You were going on about the immorality of breaking a 10 year old contract, as if she’s a bad person. I don’t feel sorry for her, she knew who he was when she signed that prenup, but for you to take that detail and make it like she’s SO IMMORAL…. When he broke marital vows more than twice (thrice!) in his life… Is a little rich. If we’re playing the immorality police, he can take the charge. Let’s give her a ticket. In the meantime, I’ll get you a coffee and donut. Hope you feel better.
MCraw
I am very calm, thank you. And, since you don’t seem to know this, signing a contract with the intention of breaking it is immoral. Is it “more” immoral than cheating? No. I never said it was. And you know I didn’t, or you do if you can read and comprehend English. You’re as good as your word. That was my only point. I never compared the two of them morally. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But apparently you have no upbringing or moral standards to rely on. If someone else lies, it’s ok for you to lie. If someone else cheats, it’s ok for you to cheat in other ways. Go crawl back under your rock and take your stupid coffee and donuts comments with you.
This is kind of what’s wrong with marriage today. It’s an incredible leap of faith to attach yourself to another person, ostensibly for life, so let’s bring a lawyer into the picture. I realize (sad but true) that pre-nups help protect women from getting screwed over, but if we had our priorities right as a society, the focus would be on marrying when you’re truly ready, working on the relationship, and being honorable if it doesn’t work out (on both sides). If you can’t handle that, don’t get married.
Sigh, GNAT. If you are asking people to crawl under rocks for stupid comments, I would get thee into a deep, dark cave. For someone who claims to promote civility, you sure like to sling insults.
MCraw and other readers are spot-on with their observations. We seem to be holding Stephanie to a higher standard than her spouse. We don’t know the specifics of the prenup, which may very well prove that she has legal grounds to nullify the contract. What we do know is that Flay has a habit of breaking and betraying his marriage contracts.
@Janetsnakehole
I pretty much said the same thing you just did if you would bother to read my comments. I DONT know the specifics of her contract, so I said that GENERALLY SPEAKING, signing a contract that you have no intention of honoring is immoral. Because IT IS. I’m not saying that adultery isn’t immoral. I’m not holding her to a higher standard. I just made a general comment about keeping your word, which is apparently above your head and that of MCraw. And if she has legal grounds to nullify the contract, I hope she does. AS I SAID BEFORE. So, it would be helpful if you actually had some idea of what I actually said before you criticize it with your nauseatingly pretentious “get thee to a deep dark cave.” I suppose that’s supposed to make you sound terribly intelligent. I have bad news. It just makes you sound dumb AND pretentious. Get thee to a reading comprehension course.
Bobby didn’t stand by his word to be faithful to her, why should she stand by her prenup? And most prenups have adultery clauses so if he is guilty of cheating he voided the contract himself.
Bob Loblaw I love your name and the reference but I think LGN and others have pointed out that if she did have that clause, which would be unusual, that it would be shouted from the rooftops.
GNAT I think you have done a pretty nice job of being general. Divorce is touchy because so many have been through it (have you, I thought I saw that downthread but may be remembering incorrectly?) and like motherhood it’s a commonality but so divisive. Too many ways to do those things I guess. 🙂
Typo on my fault. LNG instead of LGN. Love your comments and I’m sorry!
@GNAT – Dumb AND pretentious? Well, I’ll be! I was going for vapid and smug, but I’ll take it. 🙂
I did read your comments. (Not hard, you haunt these threads.) I agree that you weren’t ranking immorality, just making a general comment. I also think that MCraw had a valid point when s/he noted your emphasis on Stephanie’s immorality without calling out Flay.
My real issue with your comments, and why I childishly banished you to a cave, is that I’m tired of you throwing hissy fits every time someone counters your opinion. You have some interesting insights, but you go into bully mode any time someone disagrees. It’s immature and annoying and quite frankly spoils the snarky fun of CB.
I”ve never understood these women who sign ridiculously low prenups when the guy is worth tens of millions. It’s like they don’t value themselves enough to ask for a reasonable amount. Better to negotiate at the beginning of a relationship when your stock is high than at the end when there is likely animosity.
@ctgirl…I think the reason the prenup agreement is so low is that BF, would not have married her if she demanded more. She probably was hoping for a kid or two to up her dollar amount.
@MrsBPitt
My mom always said that if she married rich, yea, she’s sign a prenup. And then get all of her money during the marriage. Bank account–her name. Cars–her name. House(s)–her name. JEWELRY–hers in the prenup. Lol. We were discussing Donald Trump’s first wife–Ivanna……
VC
Exactly lol. Reminds me of stories of gangster and drug dealer girlfriends/wives who stash away huge sums of cash and jewelry in case they get dumped, the partner/spouse gets arrested or…you know.
Since this was his THIRD marriage, he ‘d clearly been schooled in terms of the cheapo pre-nup and keeping everything in his name. He knew what he was doing. She, on the other hand, probably thought that this was the real thing and that it wouldn’t happen to her. A classic trap all too many women fall into.
VC: that describes Jackie O too. Allegedly, she would shop endlessly on Onassis’s accounts or whatever allowance he gave her, then turn around and sell the very same things for cash which she would pocket thus squirrelling away lots of it.
Of course come the divorce, and she still went after a big settlement, but it was an interesting tale.
@LAK
Jackie O ain’t no fool.
It is my understanding that you can’t just cut credit cards off, or kick people off health insurance, kick them out of a home etc., until a divorce is finalized.
While the prenup might make the $5k a month a firm number, I don’t know if it is legal for him to start cancelling credit cards.
If it’s just his account, he can cancel her “authorized signer” card at any time. If she’s on the account, he can’t do a thing. Since he cancelled them and she’s pissed about it, I am guessing strongly that it was his account.
I don’t know if that is correct, because of community property laws. I am in CA, though, so it might be different in NY.
NY is not a community property law state.
From experience I can say that it does depend on whose name the card is in. However, as soon as one spouse starts pulling those sorts of tricks, the other’s lawyer is usually quick to seek a court order to freeze all assets. Smart women/men play this card because it forces the future ex to negotiate in order to free up their capital.
Kiddo and FLORC, I agree with you. I think that Flay’s philandering broke the marriage contract, thereby rendering the prenup null and void.
For me it breaks down simply. Maybe not legally though.
Marriage is a contract. If you enter into a contract with no intent to hold to it (stay faithful) The marriage is pretty much fraud and the prenup can’t stand.
Would Bobby Flay really risk taking such a major hit to his reputation by kicking his wife and her sick mother out of his apartment? Bobby Flay is no angel , but even he must realize what that looks like to the public.
Six months is pretty generous. Some people wouldn’t give more than 30 days.
Isn’t it THEIR apartment? Weren’t they married for almost 10 years?
Yes, it makes him look like a bad person.
@Soporificat
That makes me wonder if everything is in HIS name, and he paid for the apartments, houses,etc (all the more reason, in his mind, that he’s being generous in letting her stay)….which is a dumb move, Stephanie.
But despite my thinking that she theoretically knew what she was getting into (probably thought she could change him), I still think it’s an a-hole move. I mean, unless it comes out that she was abusing him or something terrible like that, when YOU’RE the cheater, you can at least try and offset some of that assholeness and give her some $$$. It’s not like Bobby’s going to miss it/notice the $$ gone. Or ONE extra house/apartment that’s not his.
But until the divorce is finalized, they can’t kick anyone out of anything.
6 months notice from a landlord. Yep that’s generous. From a spouse… re: moving from the joint residence. Not so generous. The tone of most of the comments here is surprising. 5k a month isn’t even that much here in Seattle. I imagine it’s not much at all in NYC and all the sounding off about the “immorality” of not honoring the pre-nup ? Contracts are challenged all the time… Without people yelling “cheater!” from their soapboxes. And I agree with McGraw questioning why people seem generally more outraged that Stephanie is challenging, sorry… “not honoring,” the pre-nup than that Flay reportedly didn’t honor his marriage vows. Guns blazing today for the blonde who was silly enough to sign a bad contract. Ok. Ready your flamethrowers. I’ll be under the table eating crackers.
There are a lot of commenters surprised that people are saying Flay is simply following through with the negotiated prenup and beginning to dissolve property ties. To that I would say a lot of people have been involved with divorce and recognize not only what is fairly standard but also recognize that divorce requires both parties to start standing on their own two feet. Does it feel extra scummy if Flay cheated? Yeah but he was a known cheater with two divorces under his belt so she had to be somewhat aware it was a strong possibility. I also suspect a lot of commenters are people who have been through a divorce with more baggage than this one and got themselves more hours, or started a new job and probably found daycare too so this seems petty.
Personally I have 2 aunts who had decades long marriages with kids only to discover their husbands were cheating. They only had HS degrees and hadn’t worked steadily during marriage. Both found full time jobs. Was it painful and not how they imagined their lives? Absolutely. But they also bravely recognized their responsibilities in and out of the marriage and kept moving forward. At the other end of the spectrum I know a woman who was married 3 years with 1 kid, who got alimony, ample opportunity to finish her degree that she was only a few credits shy of and a husband who had 50% custody. She took 7 years to do that, has only worked 20 hours a week and drags her ex into court constantly. I think women who have struggled through during and after a divorce have a really hard time with stories like that and with what is coming from Stephanie March’s camp because it feels like they’re given a bad name for their genuine struggles and succeeding.
@Tara
Because the purpose of divorce settlements and the court isn’t to make your ex spouse suffer or force them to be nice to you. Spousal support is supposed to be in acknowledgement of the work the wife or husband did for the main bread winner that helped them be successful. If they’re staying at home to go over the paper work or doing the book keeping then yes they’re not the main face of a company but they’re producing work that helps the main bread winner make money. They’re an employee or partner so to speak.
Also if the ex-spouse was caring for the children which allowed the main bread winner to work without sacrificing their time then yes they absolutely deserve spousal support and child support. CHILD support is supposed to keep the child comfortable in the manner they’re used to living, NOT merely spousal support.
Stephanie is an adult woman. She was in her 30’s when she married Bobby who had been previously married twice and divorced amid cheating rumors and infidelity. She wasn’t young and naive. She didn’t go into this marriage like a spring chicken. What did happen was two people well into their adult years decided to get married and their marriage dissolved. They didn’t have children and neither one helped or hampered the other’s career. Stephanie stopped working right when, as others have said, she should have been at her peak for a career transformation.
Conversely Bobby’s empire was well established and he didn’t need her to provide him support while he expanded. If he knew how the cards would be dealt once their marriage ended and set them in his favor that’s not a crime. Is it a jackass move? Sure. But that’s life. A man on his third marriage isn’t going to divorce so that he can lose everything. He’s going to stack everything on his favor and its up to the woman to protect and save herself because realistically if he’s done it to two other women you can’t pretend you assumed it just could never happen to you. Stephanie seemingly didn’t. She signed a contract that says she was happy with $5000 a month and only now does she seem to realize now many zeroes will not be in her bank account as a result.
I think it’d be wrong if we put up our pitchforks against men only because they hurt us or make us mad. He is absolutely 100% a jerk and if some details are hidden that support her deserving more money then I couldn’t be more happy for her. But legally it doesn’t look like that. Prenups don’t say if your husband cheats you’re home free, they’re set up for the very fact your husband could cheat and your marriage could go to hell. Apparently her’s wasn’t set up to protect her if he cheated which…again…his 3rd marriage with previous infidelity. He knew the score.
The lesson for her now is to move on and play the game smarter. He did.
And as far as I know she didn’t stop working to take care of his kids. So if there’s nothing to show she helped the business or sacrificed to have his kids with them then I don’t really understand the lifestyle argument. Except that she quit work to live off of him? Sounds like her choice.
It’s pretty typical in a divorce for both parties to move by a certain date to sell the property and split the profits if they’re not splitting properties as is. Six months is actually a very decent amount of time to pack up and find something else. Sorry but if you’re getting divorced it’s generally a decision made by both people and it doesn’t entitle one person to be supported by the other. No matter what the deal was in the marriage a split means you’re each on your own.
I am thinking almost everything is in various corporate names for financial reasons. For instance, the apartment was probably his prior to their getting married and it was probably bought as an LLC and Bobby pays rent to the LLC which uses the “rent” to pay the mortgage. I suspect everything is in a corporate name and his “personal income” is limited. I’ve spoken with too many millionaires who use various corporate loopholes to avoid excessive taxes while still enjoying the financial rewards of their work.
I want to feel sorry for Stephanie, but she needs to accept responsibility for her choices. He was worth far more than she was when they married. He had very successful restaurants that had nothing to do with her. She signed the prenup knowing this. She stopped working when she married him.
They have no children and she is a smart woman who graduated from Northwestern. She can take the $1 million from the house that is reportedly in the prenup, the $5K/month and make a very nice life for herself.
Maybe it’s not the $50K/month lifestyle she’s used to, but she can have a good start toward making a life for herself and her mother with that money.
I look at it like this: If Donald Trump’s worth was $500 million when he married Melania and she signed a prenup that stated she’d get $10k/month if they ever divorced and 10 years later he’s worth $2 billion and wants a divorce. If she quit her job as a model and never worked during that time (and if they never had Baron), would she be entitled to more than she originally agreed to?
I don’t think so and I don’t think Stephanie is entitled to more than she agreed to either, even if Bobby is a Class A Douche (which I think he most definitely IS). The only thing that can save her now is if there was an infidelity clause squeezed in there that would nullify the entire thing.
I’m sure she’s used to more than 50k a month. That wouldn’t fund their lifestyle in NYC.
Not having children with Bobby Flay – definitely a positive.
She should have negotiated a better prenup. She lived a very comfortable lifestyle for 10 years, of course she got used to it.
He got married to make himself a more salable face. Look at Food Network’s stars: married with children or in long term relationships. Playboys might be great in romance novels but when the prime demographic of your channel is middle aged women, being a philandering adulterer is big no-no.
I just don’t feel so sorry for this woman. I don’t like when women without kids take advantage of their wealthier husbands (I don’t like it when they have kids either but at least I can understand it).
If she knew he was cheating, she could have left him. It’s fairly simple, albeit it hard. I don’t think she wanted to leave the lifestyle so now she’s playing the pity card.
Mind you, I think he’s douchetastic, egotistical and a player, but she married him, signed a prenup and stuck with him through many many cheating rumors.
Bed, lie in it.
It is also possible that she loved him and believed him. I used to have a bf who never believed us when we told her her boyfriend was a philanderer. He was big man on campus and from money so she firmly believed that every girl at school was inventing lies and throwing themselves at him. She actually felt like he was the victim. I’m just saying that we don’t know her motivation and it may not be the typical golddigger one.
With a sick mother and a husband she abandoned her career for we don’t know how vulnerable or emotionally stressed out she was. Besides, dickheads like Flay tend to marry women who are naive and trusting. They are easily controlled/duped.
I like this post.
I feel sorry for her. It’s a sad story. When you fall in love with someone you don’t expect it to end with them cheating on you and pulling the rug out from under you while your mother is dying. People focus on the lifestyle issue and the money but come on, she’s caring for a dying parent and he’s running around on her and now wants a divorce and her and her mother out. That’s cruel behavior, regardless of their wealth, and it’s sick how everyone just piles on her as a gold digger.
The man is a smirky pig, with his little smirky-pig face. Lol, I’m not writing poetry here!
Can’t stand the dude, and I’m probably a part of his prime demographic.
Love this!
He makes me sick too with his smirky attitude and his overall ugliness.
Morally reprehensible? Really? What does morality have to do with anything. I am sure she made decent money from Law and Order and that show will be in reruns until the end of time. 5K is a lot of money that she could use and take her mother somewhere to live comfortably. Also, she can’t cry about cancelled credit cards and then turn down 5K.
I know they are holding out for a settlement and Bobby Flay is a huge douche bag, but she is going to take a hit over this as well because she is looking greedy/unreasonable.
If she doesn’t like the pre nup she shouldn’t have signed it and married him. It’s what she agreed to and she shouldn’t be able to backtrack now, especially if there are no provisions that would entitle her to more.
My grandmas middle of the road retirement home is $4,000 a month in suburban Philadelphia. That’s rent, food, and minimal nursing services.
This responded to the wrong comment. Sorry.
Five-thousand dollars would probably cover the monthly common charges on the condo…and a bag of chips.
Why she would agree to that amount in the pre-nup is an obvious sign of delusion or low self-esteem – take your pick.
If the money Bobby made before he met her is not factored in nor should her Law & Order residuals. It’s not about whether or not she can scrape by on $5K or not but how drastically should her life change or not. And if she remains in NYC with a sick mother $5K won’t get her a five story walk-up in Queens.
As someone who lives on less than 1,400 a month easily. .please excuse me while I cry buckets. I feel bad for her regarding her mom and that may raise her expenses but geeze she looks greedy as hell.
Do you live in Manhattan? Props to you, if you do!
I live in a part of Brooklyn that’s increasingly more expensive than some of UES areas, with a child and husband, and live off of less than $5k.
I don’t think it looks greedy at all.
Everything is relative. To us it may look like a lot of money, but since she lives in one of the most expensive cities in the world and is also carrying her mother, she is going to be left very very short.
Like the typical controlling and philandering male, he is once again trying to assert his dominance over her by leaving her as close to penniless as he legally can. She probably believed in true love, and he and his lawyer were slapped each other’s backs while she signed the prenup. She’s probably put up with a whole lot from him over the years. I hope she figures out a way to stick it to him.
I say take him to the cleaners. Once you cheat (imho) all bets are off.
I agree!!! People just dimiss the emotional and physical toll cheating takes. It is abuse, and just like all abuse, the victim stays for different reasons. Also, we have no idea the role she had in helping him build his “empire”. I’m not going to judge her quite yet.
He already had his “empire” long before her, she made him look stable, but honestly I didn’t even know he was married to her. I don’t think cheating is abuse, it is hurtful, but it’s not like it wasn’t well known that he was a cheater before they met. People need to go into marriages, especially second and third ones with their eyes wide open. She signed a pre nup, so she can’t really “take him to the cleaners” because her feelings are hurt. They been married for 10 years and these cheating rumours didn’t just pop up and I wonder if there would be a divorce if he hadn’t filed.
While he was very successful before he married him, we DON’T know the role she played for the last ten years. Cheating is indeed a form of abuse, and many victims, escpecially those in long term marriages with serial cheaters development PTSD. It is not simply hurtful, it is shattering!
https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/experts/item/3241-infidelity-a-type-of-domestic-abuse
I understand the point of cheating being devastating in some cases but this sounds like a way to infantalize women more.
Now it’s abuse if we get cheated on?
Yes I suppose it is abuse if you stay with someone who cheats on you repeatedly, but really? Isn’t there a point where we need to be encouraging women more to leave these relationships, and actual – actual – abusive relationships rather than merely explaining why they stay? If she tries the abuse angle in court in reference to him cheating his lawyer will rip her to the shreds.
It is easier to mock the claim that cheating is abuse than to realize that cheating is often the manifestation/side effect of what everyone agrees is *real* abuse.
@Amy
That had me scratching my head–in some cases, yes, I absolutely think cheating can be abuse. If the wife has something to make her stay i.e. nowhere to go/no money, kids, family pressures to make it work in the public area (like a politician’s wife), and you’ve got the husband basically threatening her that if she leaves because he constantly cheats, then x, y, z will happen, etc….then I think that’s emotional abuse.
Did that happen with Bobby and Stephanie. We don’t know. All we know is that she has her own money (not as much as him), she has a sick mother, and she married a cheating douche. A million bucks says she fell in love with a cheating douche who reeled her in with his charm, she realized what being married to said cheating douche entitled, and stayed. For ten years. Because she loved him, she loved his money. Whichever. Both. But I think it’s a stretch to say it’s abuse.
Yes Virgilia.
I’m not saying full-stop cheating isn’t abuse. In SOME cases I agree, there’s ways that men abuse women with cheating by making sure they’re cut off from family or attaching the cheating to mental or physical abuse.
But I hesitate to say “If you’re cheated on you were immediately abused.”
Sometimes I think we dance around giving women some agency and admitting sometimes they make hard decisions for themselves because we don’t want to paint things in that gray color. Maybe she knew she wouldn’t be working and that he had money and wanted to stay. Maybe she really did love him. I don’t know the inner-workings of her mind but I do know that ultimately there’s going to have to be some argument for why she should receive more money or why she should have expected to even be able to use credit cards during the divorce proceedings.
It’s very messy and sad.
But it’s not like this is the first time cheating rumors cropped up around Bobby was when they were married, he’s ALWAYS had cheating rumors. He’s always been known for cheating on his wives. In their industry? All you have to do is ask around. So it’s not like she didn’t know. I think he’s a charming guy, and THAT’S how he reels them in (along with his food), and she fell HARD for him. But still–unless she was a 20 something when they met and married, she should’ve been wise enough to know what she was getting into–marriage with a cheater.
Agreed. He’s been a cheater since before he even married his first wife.
If they both agreed to the prenup and neither broke the conditions of it, then I think it is what it is. I wonder if there was a cheating clause though…
She has endometreosis. I think it was caught later in life and screwed up chances for kids. Flay was probably ok due to kids from previous marriage. For a pale, light skinned guy, he has aged well. I wonder if he looks that good in person. Best to them, hope he wasn’t a cheater and hope they settle this without to much mess. Very stressful.
They were married for ten years. Five thousand a month from a multimillionaire? Spare me. It wasn’t like the marriage only last three or four or five years and the pre-nup should be strictly adhered to. He is a known cheat. She needs to get a better settlement and deserves one. That’s not being greedy. Believe me, he will give her more than that on the advice of attorneys, something that is reasonable and fair, after ten years together.
Regardless of what the pre-nup states, he’s morally bereft for treating Stephanie this way. He’s a known skirt chaser and being married for the 3rd time still hasn’t stopped his wandering dong.
I remember years ago, just after he and Stephanie got married, he had her on one of his cooking shows as a guest and she cooked her special pot-roast. He was so patronizing and condescending to her it was painful to watch. I also remember watching him on Grillin’ and Chillin’ and again he was so sneering and rude to his co-host (can’t remember his name) I couldn’t believe it.
He’s an arrogant, sleazy little twat and I really hope Stephanie squeezes more money out of him, despite what the pre-nup states, for having to put up with his sh*t for 10 years.
Yeah, I just think he seems like a jerk for leaving her so little money to continue her life in New York when he can easily afford a lot more. $5,000 in New York is like $500 in other cities.
Also, does anyone else think 20 million seems low for his net worth? I know restaurateurs in my city that are millionaires many times over that don’t have a fraction of the success of Bobby Flay.
He is a cheat in other ways also. He settled a lawsuit brought by servers from his restaurants where they alleged he had cheated them out of wages and tips. He had to pay them 800,000 to settle. He’s just not an admirable guy in my opinion.
Oh right! I remember that….more reason to find him an odious little prick.
He is a prick for sure.
And I’ve seen him in person a few times.
Not the classic handsome, but def more attractive and younger looking than he appears in pics and on TV.
Dying to find out if January Jones’ son is his child and if he’s with Giada or going back to JJ.
Celebrity sure has gone to his head from the days of his goofy grilling slow with that scruffy older guy.
But, man, CAN HE COOK!
His food is delicious…at least that served in his NYC restaurants.
Don’t know if he actually cooked the meals we’ve had, but he was there and we were told that he did.
Anyway…horrible for anyone when a spouse cheats.
It is PTSD and abuse.
I suspect Stephanie’s protests are all about payback out of hurt and humiliation.
I despise people like that. Stealing from your employees is a special kind of low behavior. That $800,000 settlement was probably just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much he stole.
It happens throughout the restaurant industry apparently. He is not the lone cheat. Google Yank Sing workers settlement and you will see the same. Yank Sing is a high end dim sum place in San Francisco. They rip off the customers with their basic dim sum while short changing the workers.
Wow, did not know any of this! Definitely makes me view him differently, when I already thought he was shady enough that he’s a cheater. Plus I hate how Iron Chef America always made sure he won (I mean seriously, the secret ingredient was always ideal for his southern style of cooking).
I’ve eaten at his Vegas restaurant, it was very good. Too bad he’s such a turd.
That’s disgusting. Servers make far below the minimum wage and depend on those tips just to break even.
If you don’t like the terms of a prenup then don’t sign it. If there haven’t been any significant life changes such as kids, health and career then you shouldn’t be able to change it after the fact. Bobby was already rich when they married. If she wanted more she should have asked for it.
Yes! All these people carrying on about how she deserves more money? For what? He was a millionaire before they met and married, he was a cheater before they met and married, but now because she chose to stay with him she should get more money than what she agreed to. She is a grown woman and I assume she would have had lawyers look over the pre-nup before she signed it, so she should have negotiated better. If he didn’t want to budge, then don’t marry him. No one forced her to sign it and marry him and now it’s over she wants to renegotiate the terms? Since she isn’t working there is nothing keeping her in NYC, she could move somewhere else and live quite well on her 5K.
I have to agree. Being hurt in your feelings is not an excuse for you to get an extra few thousand. I will say I think there’s some conflict popping up here and ultimately this story reminds me of why my mother always told me to have my own money and career.
During a divorce she shouldn’t have expected to be able to use those credit cards.
The aging and ill mother part is the problem that’s really hitting her and maybe that’s why money is such a factor, but again…he doesn’t owe her his wealth if they signed a pre-nup, if he didn’t force her to stop working, and if they had no kids and she didn’t help contribute to his success.
That’s jurt horribly unfortunate for her. He sounds like a jerk.
I think he’s really showing himself to be nothing but a big *sshole, but I have to grudgingly agree with you guys. Unless there is children involved, why should someone be responsible for financially supporting another person when they are no longer married?
Prenups can be cancelled if the claimant can convince a judge they signed it under duress or they were mentally incompetent at the time.
As an aside, I think it’s unethical to publicly diss your spouse as a way to pressure them into better settlement terms.
Has anyone on here ever read a pre-nup, even a boiler plate one? The ones I have dealt with are not that clear cut, there are caveats available for interpretation all over them, as most legal contracts have them. The days of a simple contract have long left the legal profession. Voila the need for a good lawyer, and why divorce lawyers make so much money. The only contracts I find more squishy, for lack of a better term, are living wills or health care directives as generally the situation you are in never fits the contract signed.
My educated guess, as this is coming from his PR camp. is her lawyer is interpreting it vastly different and using hyperbole to illustrate it to boot. The other thing I notice is that he immediately cut off money upon filing and sent her a check based on their interpretation of the pre-nup, and that is a bit unusual. Usually you have a hearing or a meeting about temporary support and upon divorce the support amount is determined based upon the prenup or a judges discretion. I think they are playing hard ball real early. It will get real ugly quickly.
I draft them every day. People always try to interpret the terms in a way that favours them after the fact, but if his lawyers are any good then the contract will be tight. Her lawyer is saying its not enforceable because that is what someone who doesn’t want to live up to an agreement always does. They are using the court of public opinion to try to pressure him into paying more.
There is no need for an interim hearing when all of the issues are determined by the prenup. He is well within his rights to immediately start paying the amount specified. She can bring a motion to try to convince a court to order him to pay more, but his obligation right now is only to pay the amount specified in their agreement. If a judge eventually orders a different amount, then he will just get hit with a retro payment. Not a big deal when you’re a millionaire.
Yes, LNG. Thank you both for offering up your expertise and your thoughtful comments. I’ve really enjoyed reading them on this thread.
Dang this is sounding like Pilar Sanders (she didn’t win her case btw). But atleast she had DEions kids. This woman needs to take the money and run or at the very least ask just for a slight increase, OR her whole settlement will go to attorneys just like Pilar’s. 🙁
He’s always been an uber a-hole, now he’s cementing it.
It’s sad when women start accusing other women of gold digging being greedy etc when they have no idea what even happened. Sorry to disappoint but word is she didn’t marry Bobby for his money and she doesn’t exactly fit the gold digging type. Not to mention most of the people complaining would be doing the same thing if they were in her situation. Please. Give it a rest. I’m very disappointed in some of the comments here. They were married for 10 years , and while she hasn’t worked we also have no idea if he asked her to stop working or if they agreed to it or what. We also don’t know if perhaps she has something going on that Is preventing her from going back to work or working as much- so many possibilities, yet so much judgement. That soap box must be nice! Also to those saying she should have negotiated a better agreement. Sure in hind sight she should have but women also don’t value their worth as much as they should – women’s studies 101 right there. You know I don’t know this woman at all but every single time there is an article on divorce and prenups many go to town and tear down the woman in question. Sad. And This is why society favors men.
+10000 word!
I agree one hundred percent. I can’t fathom why people are so bitter.
Marriage is a social contract, not just a legal one. He broke the social contract by cheating and he should pay penalties for that.
Well said!!!!
Yes, to every word of what you said.
Also, I’m tired of people popping up with, “well, I live on $xxx per month, so SHE can live on $5,000 a month.” In a divorce it is about what is equitable in their particular situation, not what someone, somewhere can possibly live on. That would be like a woman in India saying “well, I can live on $60 a month, so you have no right to ask for more in your divorce” Would you like that?
Exactly.
Exactly. And I’m not sure how people fail to recognize that she contributed to his success over the last ten years. Asking for more now is not ‘gold digging.’ She contributed to it, she earned it, she deserves it. This was a ten YEAR marriage, not ten MONTHS.
Thank you so much for this, Tifygodess! I was thinking the same thing. Here’s another scenario for everyone on this thread to consider: You’re hired as a receptionist at an ad firm for $30K per year to answer the phones, take messages, and general front desk duties. After a few weeks, execs start bringing you their work to proof because they know you’re an English major. A few weeks later you’re editing and rewriting their stuff, but they’re still paying you $30K. Well, the conditions have changed, so although you agreed to take the job for 30K, once the job changed, the contract is null and void. So, she signed something agreeing to terms that were later negated (fidelity), and was frequently humiliated publicly with myriad rumors about his philandering. That negates the document, pure and simple. And for the record, the reason I am not nor will EVER marry is because there is no such thing as an ironclad prenup, and no man is walking off with half of my life because the relationship didn’t work out, and I’m upfront about that very early on. And as for why she didn’t leave him? Well many above have addressed that issue regarding abuse.
Well said Tifygoddes and the lot o’ you:)
Brilliant!
+1000 also. Great post. I concur.
Excellent post, Tifygodess!
We also don’t know if he begged her to keep her job (for whatever reason) or keep after her career. I sadly know quite a few women who quit working when they got married to husbands who wished they hadn’t (quit work). The guy can’t win in that case. He’s a dick if he says keep or get a job, he’s a dick if after the marriage he says he never asked her to quit. Women- more now than ever- have GOT TO GET OVER the notion that they are married and have no need to work. If that’s the deal you both AGREED TO then fine, but that’s simply not always the case.
Why so much anger towards women with out pay checks? Our contribution to society is important, just because we don’t make money doesn’t mean we are worthless and valueless. Your attitude is hurtful and unfair. Should I go kill myself because I can’t make a large pile of cash and I am worthless to society and my family, a burden of uselessness who needs to learn my place? Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me or any other “unemployed” woman.
She’s not saying you’re worthless quite obviously, just that women these days need to think about protecting themselves by earning their own money and keeping their skills relevant just in case. It doesn’t always pan out that this can happen but it’s wise to think about.
WORD.
Preach!!!
Would she not be entitled to money that was earned during the marriage. I thought with divorce assets are looked at on both sides to determine who gets what and the pre nup protects assets earned before marriage.
I’ve of the mind that if you’re stupid enough to sign a bad pre-nup, then you get what you get. And Stephanie isn’t exactly poor. She’s worth a few million which is why she was able to send back the check. She doesn’t NEED the money.
I live in NYC and $5k a month is more than enough to tide over me, my husband and a toddler. I’m sorry but just because she’s used to a certain life style doesn’t mean she needs to have him upkeep it post divorce. Get a job like the able bodied person that you are and support yourself. He was successful – and a cheater – waaay before they got married and she was successful before she met him. There’s a prenup for a reason and I don’t think ANYTHING will have Bobby back down. He’s known for his arrogance and entitlement, so I don’t think anything she says or anything that will be said about him would even bother him. Yes, he’s a pig who cheated but that doesn’t mean he needs to support a fully grown woman once they’re divorced. If there were kids, that’s totally different. I do feel awful for her mother but again, she’s not Bobby’s responsibility.
But here’s the thing: they were married for 10 years. Assets accumulated during the marriage are supposed to belong to BOTH parties. And we don’t know what the prenuptial agreement actually says. Its not our judgement call whether or not she should be able to live on x amount of dollars a month.
IF their prenup states that all earnings made during the span of the marriage belong to both parties, than sure, they do. But if it doesn’t say that, and it doesn’t seem like it does, he shouldn’t HAVE to just give her a huge settlement. It’s not like she physically cannot go back to work. It’s not like she doesn’t have talent. There are no kids involved. She’s not entitled to anything that wasn’t stated in their prenup, regardless of years.
Actually, it’s the opposite of that. The prenup would have to specifically state that assets were not marital property. Seriously, this is pretty basic financial stuff about marriage. Things may be in one person’s name but if it’s accumulated during the marriage in many states (including NY) it’s marital property. There are a few exceptions, but even then you have to do some wrangling to make sure it’s all legal and clear.
Sick elderly parents can be quite expensive, depending on their financial circumstances and health conditions. Much, much more expensive than you might imagine.
For example my parents live north of Tampa in a little provincial town called Tarpon Springs. We were looking into a supported living situation for them and the place we found cost about $225,000 to buy a condo in, and then it was $5,000 a month for two meals a day! Their big thing was that they did all the work around the building and grounds so that people didn’t have to do it themselves. That and some common areas was pretty much all they offered: for example, if my Dad fell down all they would do is call an ambulance. They were very clear about the fact that they would not help him up! All they would do is stand over him and encourage him to get up by himself.
If you want someone to actually put out a hand and help your parent get off the carpet, that starts at $7,500 a month and goes all the way up to $15,000 a month for the nursing home wing. A month. In small-town Florida. (We ended up hiring carers to visit my parents in their condo daily and do dishes, laundry, run errands, drive him to the doctor’s etc. Costs about $2400 a month.)
Eldercare costs are insane.
My father had a round the clock in home aide until he passed away. I know how costly they can be. But my father was my/my familys responsibility, not my husbands.
I don’t feel sorry for her. If $5000 a month doesn’t cut it for her in NYC, move to the NY, NJ, or Ct burbs, close enough to the city, less expensive. Am I the only one who finds it morally disgusting that women want to take men to the cleaners after things go south? You didn’t earn that money, he did. My boyfriend makes a lot more money than me and I don’t ask for anything in recompense for it, we both pay our equal share of things. Should I really demand he buy me stuff because he makes more money?
Money made during a marriage is marital property – it doesn’t matter who’s name ia on that check, it’s supposed to belong to the couple
I just see it as greedy—maybe I am crazy in my thinking, but I have been with my boyfriend 8 years, lived with him for 6 of those and I would never go into our joint account and withdraw a ton of money(or even small increments unless they are things I truly “need”. I was always taught to be able to live on your salary alone, you never know what may happen. I would feel wrong doing so to have a “higher lifestyle”. So you are saying since we are considered common law in Canada, I should just have at it with my boyfriend’s money? am I the only one who would feel leery doing so? I stand to inherit money in the future and he always says that will be mine not ours and if I want to include him on vacations or buy a house etc, but it is my money. I guess I just have a different thinking than most.
You’re making an awful lot of judgements about a scenario we know almost no specifics about. We don’t know the professional dynamics of the Flay-March marriage. We don’t know what’s in the prenup, or what financial obligations either party has. But we DO know how asset distribution is suppose to work for married couples in NY – it’s supposedto be equitable distribution.
I’m just saying from my point of view, it should be enough. I have friends who don’t even get child support!
I find it ‘morally disgusting’ that people don’t think she contributed to his success, to his ability to earn “his” money. Marriage is a partnership and “his” money becomes “their” money. Marriage does change things.
What did she do to contribute to his success?
@Dani – Really? if you have to ask a question like that then no amount of ‘explaining’ on my part would give you a better understanding. I’m sorry (for you) that you don’t understand how a wife can contribute to her husband’s success (and vise versa.)
@Dani, in this instance I’m going to agree with Jackson. Their marriage was used from the very beginning to improve his ‘brand’ and likely contributed to his income during the last 10 years. She appeared on his show even before they were married, and they were featured as a couple many times in lifestyle and celebrity magazines, with his various business ventures always prominently mentioned. My impression of him and his work improved seeing them together (I didn’t know he was such a cheating douche-nozzle back then), and I would imagine I’m not alone. She deserves a healthy percentage of what that happy-couple image brought him.
I suspect you are going to have a very rude awakening one day.
I don’t understand how in this day and time women are getting themselves financially screwed by their partners. I don’t know her situation, but from everything reported she does not have her name on anything. If he is giving her 6 months to move out, then the apartment must be in his name. The same thing happened to Denise Richards. Charlie convinced her to move closer to him and she moved into a home he owned and he kicked her out because he was mad.
I guess it seems easy to say now, but my mom told me if I ever get married, rich or otherwise, I need to make sure I have my own bank account as well as a joint one. As well I need to make sure I know where the money is going and my name is on the assets. It can back fire if someone is not managing money properly and you end up on the hook. Her father in law died and her husband bought a house with his inheritance and you better believe my mother’s name is on all the paper work.
I just feel as a grown woman you need to make sure you have a backup plan and a safety net just in case things go sideways, you don’t end up in this situation. I cannot imagine trying to care for a sick mother and dealing with all of this. Bobby Flay is a pig.
Very, very good advice!
Exactly, but maybe other girls aren’t getting this very important talk.
There should most definitely be a class in school for money management for everyone. This unfortunately happens to a lot of women. You just cannot trust that your partner is going to be financially generous when a marriage ends if they do not have to be. That is why there are prenuptial agreements before marriage.
I agree, but I also think you have to be dilligent even if your husband doesn’t cheat.
Husbands are human beings and they can make poor decisions.
Bad investments, wasteful spending, or maybe even attempting to secretly funnel money away from the marriage can happen and leave you high and dry. Worse yet you could be stuck for his debts and loans if he’s not able to pay because your name is also on the paperwork.
You have to find a balance and make sure that you’re able to exit any dangerous financial situations with as little personal damage as possible.
My FIL “suggested” that my name not be on the mortgage-even tho I make 30% more than my husband and can pay the mortgage with just my salary, whereas he cannot-because I had a slightly lower credit score. All in the name of “getting the best deal,” of course.
I said hell to the fucking no and immediately advised my husband that I would divorce him if he agreed with such a thing. Luckily my husband is not an asshole and was just as appalled as I was by the suggestion, as was our accountant. His brother’s wife, however, fell for it…
To do with cheating–I wonder why he’s such a compulsive cheat. He just doesn’t seem to be able to keep it in. Some of the older, more experienced celebitches, throw me a bone. In your vast and varied experiences, did a guy who was a compulsive cheater, cheat because he was an a-hole, or because he had some underlying issues?
I mean, I have one 2nd cousin that’s a compulsive cheat (and I think it’s because he likes for women to take care of him–he’s always getting one of them to pay his rent, buy him a car, etc…it’s pretty pathetic), and one of my uncles cheated on his wife when he was in his early twenties–they had a kid at 18/19, both were in college, and working. But with my uncle, one of the reasons why he cheated was because his wife was very insecure (she was/is overweight, always has been, and has always carried around a lot of self hatred towards herself), and she kept accusing him of cheating on her with his coworkers (he was a manager at McDonalds). Like constantly. He couldn’t talk to any other woman without her grilling him for it. And so finally (in his words), he decided to give her something to talk about. To my knowledge (and he’s a pretty awesome uncle and person), he’s never cheated on any of his other SOs in the past 18 years.
I am sort of shocked by the lack of empathy on this thread. Because 5 grand sounds like a lot of money to you, doesn’t mean that it is a lot of money especially in New York. I live in LA and I couldn’t make it on that kinda money here. I hope the negative press forces him to do the right thing.
For their lifestyle $5k isn’t enough but she agreed to it.
Ehhh… What if they’d married in 1985 and agreed on $1000 a month because that could get you so much more then. People would be saying it wasn’t fair. 5k a month in 2005 is different to the same in 2015. We’re in a different world. Yeah maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to those terms as they were but there you go, she did. If you made a mistake you’d also try fix it. She may as well try get more. Worse is it fails and she gets 5k a month, best is she gets more…
You can have empathy for her and also still believe in the fundamental principals of contract law.
For her sake I hope he offers her more to care for her mother but I don’t think the legal aspect of this issue is on her side.
I’m going to echo another commenter and say I was also raised to always be as self-reliant as possible. I’m not saying this as a slight against stay-at-home mom’s because I believe they contribute to a household in immeasurable amazing ways. But with no kids and the majority of his wealth established before her I just don’t see why she’s entitled to more than she signed for. What has she done for his business that shows she is owed more than what she legally agreed to?
Bobby is a millionaire. I’m sure he’s got accountants, lawyers, book keepers and business planners out the wazoo so I have doubts she was sitting at home helping him with his paperwork. I fully get ‘Lifestyle she’s grown accustomed to” and I’m so sympathetic to her for her mother’s ill health. But unfortunately divorce proceedings and settlements can’t force your ex to be nice to you.
If she agreed to $5000 and there’s no cheating caveat and he can prove she hasn’t helped his business in any significant way then I don’t see it ending well for her. As much as possible ladies try to have your own money and an established career, you may end up with a jerk like him and have to leave with a suitcase and whatever scraps you get in court.
I can’t manage any sympathy for her. She agreed to the $5k in the prenup. Unless she didn’t have a lawyer when she signed it ,I don’t see how she can fight this.
$5k a month? I wouldn’t have signed that prenup.
The way he’s coming out guns blazing from the jump makes me wonder if there is a cheating clause in the prenup. He’s going Full Prick right out of the gate, which makes me think he’s trying to intimidate her into shutting up and going away ASAP. Otherwise, he’s just stupid going at it like this because, while he may feel invincible, his empire very much depends on the positive opinion of his audience (customers). Even if the prenup is airtight, if he goes too far into visible prick mode, he stands to lose the Fage contract, his licensing deals, viewership, etc.
I do feel for her mostly b/c he’s being such an aggressive dick about it, but at the same time it grosses me out when women put themselves in the position of total dependency. *His* credit cards, etc. Ick. If you’re going to go that (gross) route, then you better have it locked up on the back end.
On the other hand, it also kinda sounds like there is NOT a cheating clause. I’m a lawyer and her lawyers using terms like “morally reprehensible” and “unenforceable” suggest that they’re going for nullification on public policy grounds (“it’s unenforceable b/c it’s not fair”), not breach of an existing clause. An un-breached contract can be voided if you find a judge willing to chuck it for violating morality standards.
I agree. If there was a cheating clause her lawyers would have said so already.
There is just no way Bobby Flay would have allowed a cheating clause to be put into the prenup for his third marriage, especially when his cheating was a factor in ending his other relationships.
Please, this is no different than any celebrity divorce ever. One side has money. The other side has dirt. Both will posture for a while about withholding money and/or revealing the dirt, until they finally settle.
That $5K is taxable so she really only gets say $3500 a month. In NYC that’s barely rent on a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I live an extremely frugal life and I barely make it on that in NYC, where the work is for her. It was a bad time to divorce her. She’s caring for a declining parent. That’s a long hard journey. While some men are the ones who look after elderly parents, it’s usually women who lose income to do it. And if not them, who? Think he should do more for her for a few years as she deals with her folks and gets on her feet again. Maybe he wanted her to quit work to look after him full-time. As busy as he is do you think he has time to manage a home and pick up the dry-cleaning? Him playing hardball shows a lack of compassion and integrity.
This was marriage number three for him so I bet he’s already given up a lot of assets to wives already. He should stop getting married if he can’t stick with it and needs to cheat. How come he’s not being judged? Being a cheapskate is not attractive. I resent the idea that his wife did nothing to contribute to his life and career. Paula Deen’s whole empire crumbled because of the stupid things she said. So how come Bobby Flay gets to be a total douche and a cad and there are no consequences? He seems to need to have some hard lessons come his way. But apparently the guy doesn’t evolve.
I am a bit confused that Kaiser thought Jeremy Renner should give his ex a lump sum so she would go away, even though they had only been married for 10 months and they had a prenup. Now after 10 years this woman deserves no consideration? I know there was a child in Renner’s case, but that meant she was always going to get a comfortable monthly allowance in child support ($13K).
At least for me in that case the well being of the child and what the child could potentially come across in the future was the concern. I think *especially* when a child is really young during a divorce the parents and other family and friends often do NOT think before they speak in front of the child. Even if the kid doesn’t understand the conversation they understand the tones and they know things aren’t right. The longer you drag out the divorce the more the kid is exposed to, the more bitter everyone near it is and that means it drags out even years after with people sniping, etc. And for celebrities there’s the additional problem that once that child is older he or she can look up old articles about the divorce and see all the hateful accusations. Typically there is not one villain in a divorce and it’s two flawed people who are hurt. And they end up hurting the child even more.
If my ears are hearing right, Stephanie is already back at work.
There’s a series of gas- and oil-industry commercials on television. Courtesy of the American Petroleum Institute. Touting all the jobs created by gas and oil –read: drilling and fracking.
The woman speaking onscreen is a tall, slim blonde in a black pantsuit and white shirt. That’s not Stephanie.
But it’s her voice.
Faulty is right about L&O not paying all that well. Dick Wolf, the producer, is notorious for being tight-tight-tight with salaries. And it’s not a given she’ll get any residuals.
Bobby Flay has moved from ass to assclown IMO.
Her mother who is ill has been his mother in law for 10 years and lived with them. Unless she is wealthy in her own right, care and medical expenses can be a huge monthly bill adding to Stephanie’s living expenses.
From what information is presented, I put the blame on March.
Why did she sign the pre-nup in the first place if she didn’t agree with the terms? Wasn’t she making more than $5k/month pre-marriage? Why step away from her career when she knows what her income will be if the marriage goes awry? If she thought $5k/mo. was bad, then she should have told Flay that she’s going to have to keep working during their marriage because she can’t be left with only this much if he divorces her. Why was she so desperate to marry him?
As for her sick mother, at least they’re getting six months to move. March should have had a place with her name on the title (if it’s not already) instead of being so dependent on Flay for her income and residence. I think it was too delusional of her to think a guy like Flay would stay married to the same woman forever.
I think Flay, for the sake of his own PR image, should offer her a substantial settlement just to end this publicity.
I saw over at TMZ that in addition to monthly spousal support, the pre-nup includes for “Bobby to pay her $1 million to buy her out of the house. She also gets $50k so she can pack up her stuff and move.”
From posts upthread that support nullifying the pre-nup, it seems to me like their reasoning makes March sound stupid and not mature enough to know what she was signing. She was 30 years old when they got married. I think March knew full well what she was signing and for how little she was signing. Imo, if you’re a grown adult with at least a normal level of intelligence and you’re marrying a millionaire then the reason you’re signing a pre-nup that entitles you to very little of the assets at the time of divorce, then it’s because you’re desperate to marry a millionaire.
It’s not like we’re dealing with another Teresa Giudice here who keeps saying it’s not her fault for what documents she signed because she never thought to read them nor had anyone told her to or nobody explained the documents to her. Can we really use the stupid woman excuse with March? Did someone pat her on the head during the pre-nup signing and tell her not to worry her pretty little head and just sign it?
He thought ahead and protected himself; she signed a contract that gave her virtually nothing of what was earned while they were married and now wants to cry about it. Get what you can, I suppose, but I just don’t feel sorry for women who marry cheaters and then act like they ought to get a higher settlement because he cheated. What exactly did you expect, that he wouldn’t do it to you?
That being said, I’d be carting Mom around in a wheelchair in front of the cameras, if I were her. He can only afford so much bad publicity.
I wonder if January Jones has made a call to him yet about keeping her name out of his mess?
Not to be synical but, well, I am darn it. And somewhere over at the Lifetime movie network, some legal minion is hashing out a 3 picture deal proposal for Stephanie because they smell desperate and act fast. I look forward to her wrongfully accused, murdered sister, drug addicted daughter, I’m being stalked by a stranger type movies.
They had a pre-nup. It stated she would only get $5k a month if they divorced. He’s living up to his end of the bargain. If she didn’t agree with the pre-nup she shouldn’t have signed it. It’s not fair to revoke a pre-nup because your hubby started making way more money. He was trying to keep his money safe, which he’s allowed to do and she agreed to it. I am sorry to hear about her mother. that is tough. In the end women need to realize they should NEVER fall dependent on a man for income. She should have worked during their marriage. She should have saved her own money, especially since she knew they both signed a pre-nup.
i agree with most posters here that she agreed to do it and if you dont have kids and not sacrificied a lot to raise them your spouse does not owe you half.
then again celebs have immense power and the regular person married to them will always be bullied into contracts amd they have better contacts to smear your name in the press. i guess its best to avoid relationships with famous people.
So let me get this straight, she’s at home tending to an ailing parent, while he’s out philandering and cancelling credit cards. Sounds like a stand-up guy.
*Let’s file this under “things a real man wouldn’t do”
I just want to let people know something about the American legal system and contracts: your signed and fully executed contract is only as good as your lawyer.
Stephanie had bad legal advice re her prenup; she’s hoping her divorce lawyer is better, but judging by his history and her choices, I don’t think she’s going to get much more.
As an able-bodied actress, she should be able to make enough above her 60K a year from him to live a decent life. And, yes, NYC is expensive, but you can certainly get a nice apartment for a couple of grand a month, at least in Brooklyn. No, she won’t be living in a 10,000 sq ft brownstone, but she won’t be starving.
First world problems.
She can go back to work but she’s kinda in no man’s land. She’s not an ingenue, young & hot (in Hollywood man standards) or an older matriarch type. And a few seasons of Law & Order SVU do not a stellar career make. That outfit is where actors go to cut their teeth and get in. She quit acting exactly when she should have started selling herself hardest. Mama ain’t getting no good jobs anytime soon.
Speaking of mothers. She probably needs a nurse (to help) and 2 bedrooms. That wipes out her 5K in NYC. Hell, that wipes it out in Brooklyn. She should have been much more shrewd. Not a gold digger. Just smart enough to know there’s no one else in the world a man loves more than himself.
I don’t feel badly for him at all. He’s a c-ck.
perhaps she hasn’t been offered much work? Perhaps she’s been caring for her mom for years versus months and hasn’t worked much because of this? She was on a show or two that was canceled. While BF was successful, he was not as successful pre marriage as he has become.
Unless she does something to indicate that she won’t work or isn’t willing to downsize, I won’t say she’s being greedy or a gold digger.
Bobby could easily afford to double or triple her alimony for a couple of years to allow her to continue to take care of her ailing mom.
Besides, perhaps BF wanted her to work less to suite his own ego.
Regardless of any prenup, surely she had her own wealth and her own assets when she got married though, right? Even if she pissed all her own fortune away, is she a grown woman capable of earning her own wage now? Yep. Get out and earn it, then. Why would anyone with an ounce of self respect allow themselves to be dependent on another person like that? Wouldn’t any of us be like “well, F them, I can make my own way, thanks!”
I don’t earn 5 grand a month and I have a full time job. I work 8 hours a day and travel 6 hours a day to and from my job. But 5 grand isn’t enough for her to NOT work? What?
There’s also the argument that if she’s not working, she can look after her sick mother herself, she’s got the time.
She’s a WOMAN! She’s capable of any damn thing, the least of which is recovering from a failed relationship with some guy who apparently doesn’t appreciate her, obviously doesn’t want her and certainly doesn’t need her. She doesn’t need him either, in so many ways. She could make herself and many other people very proud if she moved on and made something for herself out of a bad situation.
You travel 6 hours a day to and from work? That’s not admirable, you fool!