Last year, Mayim Bialik raised some eyes with some of her blog posts. She pretty much called Ariana Grande the end times. She also ranted about “sexist” Frozen, which caused a huge ruckus. Mayim calmed down, regrouped and stopped blogging about hot-button topics.
Mayim has launched a lifestyle site, Grok Nation, and she’s having some fun with nerd-oriented topics (remember, she has a PhD), parenting stuff, and sociocultural discussions. So far, Mayim has covered the Trainwreck shooting and private tutoring for her kids in lieu of formal schooling. Here’s part of her column on aging in Hollywood:
I just heard about this treatment. This cryotherapy method of freezing your fat in order to lose weight. You apparently stand in a six-foot-tall machine that blasts you with air between minus 184 and minus 292 degrees Fahrenheit. This supposedly freezes off fat, boosts metabolism, and in the process, melts away about 800 more calories than your fat body used to. (At least that’s what they say.)
In my Blossom years, there was far less emphasis on perfection. The ideal body in the 80s and 90s was a Playboy bunny: skinny, with large fake breasts and no curves (except for the large fake breasts). Blonde was in, big lips and big puppy dog eyes were in and tons of lip gloss and mascara. No one wore SPANX or any such corset. Certainly not men! You wore clothes that flattered your body, but the idea that there should be no “bumps” to your physique did not exist.
Fast forward to this incarnation of my career. In the 21st century, both men and women routinely wear SPANX. Many actresses I know even wear SPANX when out and about running errands in jeans and a T-shirt. Many non-actresses I know have started to do the same. The norm has become a seamless, fat-free, streamlined body. Like we are made of plastic… like we are mannequins, really. That’s the look.
As for me, I started to get grey hair here and there about 5 years ago. Now it’s more than here and there, but it still doesn’t show on TV. During What Not To Wear they convinced me to allow them to dye my hair darker, kind of a raven color. Then it faded and I started The Big Bang Theory. I have not dyed it since and don’t plan to. I like grey hair. I do believe it’s a false contrived notion we have that grey is ugly. It isn’t ugly – it just is. It means I’m old enough to have earned it. It doesn’t bug me.
[From Grok Nation]
Mayim then goes on to rip into the things that do bug her, including the apparent need for Hollywood to correct hooded eyes and visible veins. She trashes Botox, plastic surgery, manicures, and gym obsessions. She asks her readers to hold her accountable for refusing to do any of these things. Mayim laments that she’s a part of “a superficial business,” but she wants to represent a different part of the industry. I hope she remains successful in her refusal to alter herself, and (surprisingly), I’m looking forward to reading more of her lifestyle site. Although it makes no sense why she doesn’t like the gym. Shots fired.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN
I LOVE THE GYM!
There,I said it.I started working out when I was going through a terrible period in my life and it helped me so much in regards of building confidence,feeling strong,looking strong,feeling positive.With every set that I did,I felt stronger and better and therefore I felt more confident.
Mayim says about gym that she doesn’t want to alter herself,but I suppose life is a series of events where you sometimes alter yourself to make progress.
“To improve is to change,to perfect is to change often”.
I think she has a gripe with gym obsession, rather than the gym itself. Nothing wrong with exercise.
I read the whole article and she says going to gym means altering yourself,like that’s a bad thing..
She can “alter” and improve her mind by getting a PhD, but improving your body and health is wrong?
This may be weird to say – but it’s almost always the unconventionally attractive women like her that stand against these types of enhancements. Nobody is looking at her for her sexuality so frankly there is far less pressure for her to submit to these standard industry upgrades. I guess I mean I’m less impressed that she hasn’t succumb to these things that I would be if an actress known for being “beautiful” or “sexy” actively avoided these standards & procedures.
I find it frustrating when people think intellectual upgrades are worthy of pursuit but improving the machine of the human body is somehow a less worthy pursuit.
So, fxck your always crazy biased opinion Mayim, and likewise keep sharing because you only claim to be offering opinion and I support free speech.
Also, cryotherapy has scientific support, just like with anything else Hollywood focuses on the benefits for appearance rather than cellular health, but doesn’t negate it’s benefit.
I’m so over this moral rigididy and judging the judgers. Whatever. I personally prefer normal faces to the Michael Jackson plastic surgery addict’s features. Still. I’m going to fix the house I live in!
Right…so why does she brush teeth and hair? That’s “altering” a natural state of decay! My nine year old -loves- the gym and I have to sneak him in. No. I’m not trying to “alter” this child to look like a steroid abuser. Kids, adults…we love to exercise, and it’s how we are designed as humanoids. The truth is that humans have “altered” social practices to sitting at desks all day, or driving too much, all of which atrophy our natural musculature.
So should we stop brushing our hair, teeth and then let our muscles flap in the breeze? Native people worked to gather food and survive, and the gym is a sociological substitute to achieve endorphins we so badly need. I will not read her judgy lifestyle website. I’m not interested in the perfection of the imperfect judgers.
Going to the gym or swimming every day helped me get through cancer treatment. I was active and strong and found the swimming calmy and the doctors believed that it exercise helped me ward off debilitating side effects. Mayim might change her mind on that when her bone density tests start coming back showing loss.
Good to know you got through it. One of my fears is to lose muscle and bone mass too early, so I’m really into exercise, although I don’t actually like it. Also, I read somewhere that exercises, in any forms, help on new brain cells’s formation.
When I had cancer, I used to get on the treadmill every day, and running through my mind was “I can control this…” It made me feel like I had a tiny bit of control in an otherwise overwhelming situation. I was very grateful for it.
@Lilacflowers and GNAT, I went thru cancer surgery too, but was lucky enough not to need chemo etc. Just regular follow-up check-ups. I found that working out also helped me enormously! It made me feel I had SOME control, right, during a scary time, and it kept me feeling boosted emotionally and positive and stronger. She would realize, I assume, that that is a worthwhile goal, a health goal. Being fit is…common sense? Not just about body-sculpting, though looking fit is nice. Plus, maybe the LA gyms she’s gone to weren’t the right sort for her; some can be more plastic than others — it may be a type of gym culture she is speaking about.
Anyway I am sending you both ((hugs)), if that’s ok.
Hey, weird question, how do you keep water from going into your ear?
So ok, Liberty, and hugs back to you. I am fine now, knock on wood. Lilacflowers had a worse ordeal than mine – I just had surgery and radiation, no chemo. It was still scary, though and exercise really helped me to relax and stay calm. So glad you are better, too.
Ladies, I am earnestly grateful that you are still with us and that I can enjoy reading your smart, insightful comments on various subjects. *bows*
the gym thing is weird – I clearly remember her writing that she started to go to the gym on the WB lot and that she likes to lift weights (that was before her car accident). Trashing manicures? LOL getting a manicure these days is basically like getting your hair cut/styled – and that she clearly does.
I just hope she got herself an editor for her new site, because some of the stuff she writes needs at least a second pair of eyes (and a reality check) before it is released.
ME TOO! And anyone who criticizes gym fanatics is lazy and ignorant! We don’t go there in a pursuit of the “perfect body.” We go there because it helps our health, our mood, our mental balance, our metabolism, it helps us cope with stress and anxiety. When I work out, I’m happy, I push myself to new limits, I’m proud of myself. The feeling after a greatvwork out is pretty similar to te feeling after great sex. And yes, sex is a form of exercise but not nearly enough as you need it!
Let’s see how Mayim ages without exercising. Exercising is EXTREMELY important for your health, aesthetics aside. You see all those elderly people that can barely walk? That can’t stand up on their own? That fall and break hips? They needed to exercise when young. My grandma had a nasty fall a few years ago. The reason she didn’t break a hip was because she ran and did yoga every single day.
and exercise is important not only to your physical health, but your mental health too. It can’t cure depression, but it sure as hell makes managing mine a lot easier.
I love the gym too! I love lifting weights and one of my favorite classes is Body Pump, occasionally spin, and sometimes yoga (I do that one because it’s good for me). But oh my god you guys HIIT makes me miserable.
I love the gym, too. It becomes more important as you get older. Not everyone goes to the gym to look hot. Some of us go to feel fit and strong.
I, too, started when I had a prolonged period of troubles, job and family wise. I was thinking too much, too often, and I truly felt I can’t get out of this anymore. Someone mentioned working out at a gym, to empty my head, and relax a bit. I laughed it off, but later thought I’ll give it a try. I was always the not so sporty type, but now I can’t even imagine how my life would be without it. No excessive stuff, just regular routines, bit of yoga, and sauna- I honestly started feeling so different. The idea was not to ‘alternate’ anything, but to finally do something good for myself, to take care of myself for a change. I believe a lot of women in particular know how it feels when you take care of everything except yourself. So I don’t see going to a gym as a way of alternating (although it sure CAN be that way, or can be a side effect), but to care for yourself.
Sorry, I ment to “alter”, not “alternate”- I think I need a gym session right now;-)
But makeup is fine. And fancy clothes. And making millions. Just not manicures, god forbid!
I’m sure she’s very intelligent. I just want to say Angelina Jolie started the green earring trend at the Oscars several years back that EVERYONE wears now… hi Mayim… of topic, but Angie started the “pillow lip” trend, both inadvertantly of course. All respect for Mayim for her academic accomplishments. Yay for not getting “pillow lipped.”
Women were injecting fillers into their lips way before Angelina Jolie came along. Full lips have been a desirable trait for a very long time.
Does everyone have to have a lifestyle site? I feel so inadequate without one.
lets Make one for If You are Childless, Lazy and Plebeian and wanna eat all the food and …wait NVM That Is Called Blogpost with a Walmart advertisement on the side *sigh*
All and all I actually really read hers with Interest, Like comments and all, there was no e-commerce carefully curated pic of antebellum south just her blurry ones and such, so I Might wanna see more
You are so funny. I could write for the Blogpost apparently.
Gnat, we should call it “From the Couch” or something Like:
“No, Don’t Worry Honestly This Isnt a Goopy High Falluting Preservation Of your Drapery: We Aren’t Selling JACK!”
“From the Couch”! I would totally read that blog. Reminds me of this one book
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51c-WASsuaL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
QQ, that would be perfect! As luck would have it, I sit on the couch all. The. Time. Practicising, you know. For my art.
Well I didn’t see anything too controversial in this post, and I guess she’s entitled to choose not to alter herself in the name of the standard skinny-fat free perfect woman “standard” that we all Know Hollywood loves and practically “enforces”. I agree that grey hair is beautiful, but I also don’t think it’s wrong to hide your grays. in BBT you can’t see her grey hair because of her hair colour I suppose.
But I guess we should also consider that she isn’t cast for those types of roles, so it does make it easier to do as she likes and only change one or two things, while others still have to conform to the standards, work out like crazy, eat very little and keep up with the beauty regimens that are on trend. It’s sad but true.
The problem with the others of Hollywood and the severity of the plastic obsession is that’s most of what you see and it creates an unrealistic expectation especially for young people. I think it is a good idea to have more, especially women, with a realistic less “perfect” body image in television and film. She may be a bit out there, there is nothing wrong with the gym, spanx, coloring your hair, manicures and pretty much anything people want to do, but when that “perfect” image is all people see it distorts everyone’s body image. Good luck to her on this, as unfortunately it reminds me of overweight actresses who grab the love my body brand and then lose tons of weight to fit in
Do you know what glaringly bothers me these days? Every American actor, even in historic drama, seems to have the same white chiclet porcelain veneers. It ruins a film for me. My friend who is in the film industry says there is an huge resurgence of character actors, thank God. I love the natural look, but I’m compelled to preen and exercise for beauty, health, longevity and stress reduction.
Maybe what she doesn’t like is the “obsession” with the gym. Going to the gym is OK as long as one is not spending hours there.
That’s exactly what I was going to say. I doubt very much that she’s anti-gym, rather that she’s against the idea that you have to spend every minute of your free time working out in order to try to attain an impossible ideal.
I thought that too. There’s going to the gym, then there’s being so obsessed that you spend hours working out and the same amount of time whining about it if you’re not able to go work out. I can’t stand people who go on and on about how they “wish they were at the gym” or “I need to spend X hours at the gym to make up for this pizza!”
Disclaimer: I didn’t read her whole post.
But who cares if someone else spends a lot of their time at the gym? We don’t know why they do it or what they get out of it. I don’t agree with that one.
That’s true. The people who spend a lot of time at the gym aren’t hurting anybody. It’s kind of a weird thing to be offended by.
Is she leaning on Jim in that pic to avoid tipping over in heels? That would totally be me! While I tend to agree that Hollywood goes too far in the striving for perfection and beyond, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dying your hair or exercising (duh) or getting a manicure if it makes you feel better. Grooming/self care is not the devil, I know some people feel differently and she has a right to her opinion though she obviously had her hair DID in both those pics so she’s obviously not above trying to look her best as far as she sees fit. I totally agree about Spanx though, I have tried wearing spanx and after an hour I just rip em off and breathe, I don’t know how people do it. Plus I don’t like how they flatten my butt.
Those shoes Kaley Cuoco is wearing…
I know right?? She looks so frumpy!!
They look comfortable.
Yeah, I love them!
I like her if for no other reason than the fact that she does not conform to the HW assembly line beauty standard. I only read a few blogs (cooking, card making) – all the “curated” lifestyle product shilling sites make me stabby; however, I would give hers a whirl since she is not trying to sell something. I may disagree with some of her ideas but if they are well thought out and presented in an articulate fashion, good for her and maybe an interesting read for me.
As an aside, I really don’t get the hate readers on this site have for comfy shoes. What’s with the negative comments about Kaley’s loafers?? Why do women always have to wear some uncomfortable, unhealthy high heeled affairs to be deemed chic? (The amount of hate Jen G has received for her shoes seems to me irrational, it’s not like she drowns puppies.) After seeing how daily high heels have severely damaged my female relatives’ feet, back, posture and hips, I have switched to flats and low wedges. I am guessing I’d be called frumpy despite wearing well tailored clothes because of my footwear choices and that’s fine by me, but seriously, flats are not a crime against humanity.
With you on the shoe thing. I have indoor shoes (heels, but never more than 2 inches, but all colors and materials and styles) and outdoor shoes, which are flat, sturdy, and neutral, so I can walk comfortably on bricks and cobblestone without breaking an ankle or shoe. She is wearing “outdoors shoes”
I think the frump factor is being upped by her shapeless coat and, um, shall we say less than flattering hairstyle. I’m all for comfy shoes; I don’t own a pair of heels because life’s too short to torture yourself. But you do have to be a bit more careful in how you dress because heels do visually add “something” to your look that can make up for less flattering clothes.
Mayim looks great in the group pic, including the shoes.
Hahahah they all look as angry that they arent getting a star, but they have to come and support their co-star who has been deemed worthy. Awkward…
There’s a lot to parse in that pic. What is wrong with Johnny Galecki’s face? Is it just too much makeup? He looks waxen.
Cuoco already has a star on the WoF – and if I remember correctly, she even got hers before Parsons. (Getting a star is all about a nice check for the committee – so I’m not surprised)
Very awkward..the only ones sporting smiles, look like forced smiles lol
I checked out her website yesterday. It’s actually pretty interesting. I really liked her home school article.
I cover my grey because I have very dark hair with greys that are actually bright white, and I’m grey ing like my mother– it’s all in the front. If I let it go natural, I would look like Narcisse Malfoy. Great if you are into cosplay, but I am not. To each their own.
I’ve heard a lot about cryotherapy– apparently it also boosts metabolism and is good for chronic joint pain.
Exercise: I totally agree with everyone above. Pilates reformer sessions changed my life. Best thing in the world especially if you have injuries.
Although, Narcissa Malfoy DOES look pretty awesome 🙂
She does, that is true. And Helen McCrory is a dish.
The hair though– I *could* get that look naturally if I just let everything go. It’s kind of like the Susan Sontag skunk stripe.
I cover my grey, too. I hate the weird texture more than the color. They want to stand up like antennae and seem to be gaining on the brown.
I also love the gym. Keeps me sane.
Who is the Hollywood happy medium? It seems as if only the extremes are able to get press.
I have black hair with pure white strands that first started coming in when I was 13. They’ve been really proliferating of late (I’m 29), but I personally wouldn’t mind having Cruella de Vil hair, even if the white hair strands seem twice the thickness of my black ones.
I saw her on What Not To Wear and she was a slobby mess. Hair unkempt, bag lady clothes, looked disheveled. They really made her presentable in a very casual way that absolutely suited her look and lifestyle with a child at the time, or two, and was easy. It was so much better. And she actually had a cute figure once you got her out of her oversized sloppy clothes that just were a mess. There is no reason to to be so proud that you don’t take care of your appearance on any level. It seemed like her badge of honor. But she was appreciative at the time once the makeover was done. That richer hair color was very flattering on her. It kind of woke up her skin and eyes. But if she likes grey, that’s her prerogative.
Exercise is good for the mind and body. I hate going out and doing it, whether at a gym or runnnng in the park, but I feel so much better mentally and physically once I’ve finished. Well, running I actually get in the zone once I settle in. My friend and I got a trainer for a while and she almost killed me, because I don’t push myself that hard on my own. But I would feel amazing afterwards,, I have to say. Anything to an obsession is bad, but get up and out and moving is good for you. What she considers gym obsession someone else just might consider it time they alot to keep themselves fit and do go frequently..
I agree with everything you’ve said.
She may clarify what she means by obsession, as taking exercise too far can be unhealthy and be a symptom for something else but I see nothing wrong with wanting to do mine and I feel infinitely better as a result, it also clears my head if I’m in a bad headspace. Same with doing my hair and make up, I agree that wearing spanx everywhere isn’t healthy (Kim K wearing it during her pregnancy), but even if I’m going out in a t-shirt and jeans which is pretty much my uniform, I still try to look neat and put together.
Whatever. Get over it. You work in Hollywood this shouldn’t be a surprise. And who is being helped by your words of wisdom here? This seems more self centered than anything. Look at me! I’m so normal and against the grain! Everyone should be like MEEEEEEEEE! If you don’t agree with ME then you’re just a hater!
I have greys at 26! I dye my hair to cover my greys not some deep seated insecurity.
I got pregnant at 27, and was half grey by the time he was born. Elder bro was grey at 16.
I’m not sure what universe she lived in during the 80s and 90s, but in mine, people cared very much about appearance and perfection and there certainly were what we called “bodysuits” for slimming. Spanx were a big improvement because they were more comfortable, and she’s right that men didn’t have the equivalent corsetry, but people cared as much as body bumps and lumps then as they do now, and there was just as much pressure to be thin with no visible panty lines. I suspect that she was just young and didn’t have said bumps. I think what has gotten more plastic is faces, with the obsession with fillers and plumbers and contouring makeup. Kardashian face. So plastic and unnatural looking.
Hell is ’90s Spandex.
I’d like to know what the heck is wrong with manicures. I have them a few times a month, and it relaxes me like nobody’s business. I don’t get polish or fake nails, just have someone shape and buff and keep my cuticles from looking disgusting. It’s so soothing to me.
I agree. That’s just part of grooming to me.
I had never had a pedicure before this February, when my sister got some huge discounts for some. It was a really high-end place, I have no idea as to how she got certificates because the average rate there was ridiculously expensive. But, she got the premium passes somehow, so I went with her and my mother and it was goooooooood. Private room, special fruit smoothies (YUM) and an hour of bliss that I didn’t want to end. I’ve got pauper’s toes again, so if I had the kind of scratch to make it a viable option, I’d spend more time than does Kate Middleton at the hair salon.
You know what else bugs her? Vaccinating her kids. That’s a no-no apparently. Very disappointing coming from someone who used to be a scientist.
That’s disappointing.
Ugh, really? Another point against her. For me, even though “Grok Nation” is probably targeted at the demo that reads celebitchy, I’m just not feeling it. And I feel like I should be! The whole Stranger in a Strange Land “grok”reference kinda annoys me, too. I know, I know — petty. But for whatever reason, to me, it’s seems try-hard hipster from another century — or something. Saying “grok” is just not that clever anymore. Again, I know it’s a petty criticism. Also, I think she is an excruciatingly boring writer.
What I would want to read about, from Mayim, is why she stopped being a brain scientist to return to a sitcom. What’s that about MB?
I know. Of all people, I would think that she knows about the difference between the two kinds of mercury. The bad kind is what is found in fish and the other kind is harmless and was used as preservative in absolutely minute amounts for single-dose portions. You’ll get more mercury at a wedding reception than in a vaccine and again, that’s the bad that has nevea been used in vaccines. Even still, when people started complaining about mercury in general they took it out and started making large-batch storage. It’s a bit less convenient because the single-dose variety was practiced largely to cut down on time for mass vaccinations in developing countries where people will line up and wait for as long as it takes to get to them. Plus, they got rid of the mercury in 1999, I think, which was before the the autism side effect madness ever took root. Jenny McCarthy is about as smart as earwax, but I would have thought that Mayim was better-informed than this.
About the “two kinds of mercury”- I don’t know what you mean (I am a chemist). There are many different chemical compounds of mercury, not just two, in addition to elemental mercury. But at a wedding reception, you don’t have it injected into your body. The route of administration makes a big difference. You certainly can’t assume that the amount of a chemical substance such as mercury in a vaccine is too small to cause problems. It will depend on the individual and how efficient their personal clearance system is for toxins, in addition to other factors. Some people are very sensitive to small amounts of things that don’t bother others. Some people allergic to penicillin, for instance, react to meat from animals grown using penicillin. Or someone allergic to eggs might react to a vaccine produced on an egg substrate. But in general, injection can bypass more protective systems than ingestion via the oral route with food.
She still is a scientist. You don’t stop being one just because you have a different job to bring in a paycheck. She still has the training and the mode of thinking. Dismissing her as an “antivaxxer” is trivializing legitimate concerns.
I’m also a scientist, and much of my work as a scientific translator is for pharmaceutical companies. One year half my time was spent working for a vaccine manufacturer, translating piles of journal articles on vaccine development and use and case studies and in the process reading many millions of words in the English scientific and medical literature.
There are many reasons to worry about the vaccination schedules today. In my childhood, we had a handful of them. Today, a child will have several dozen before first grade and many are given as multiple vaccines which can be more problematic than single vaccines. Plus there is growing evidence that many people do not have the expected immune response (that is, the immune system is not able to raise antibodies against the pathogen; the theory is that exposing the system to part of the pathogen will make it recognize the invader more quickly and know how to create the antibodies). This wasn’t realized before simply because they weren’t looking for it. Vaccination is definitely not a guarantee of protection, and it can be a shock especially to an immature immune system. Some families and some ethnic groups are more frequently affected adversely. There is also concern that we may be hindering proper development of the immune system. You need to look at family and personal history for clues concerning adverse reactions to vaccines (sometime the adjuvants are special problems). If you can, a wise precaution is to take the inconvenient approach of single vaccines, well spaced in time. And remember the best defense against illness is proper hygiene and isolation of an ill child or adult, hard though that is today, although don’t worry too much about a healthy child eating dirt (can have benefits!). Vaccines have become overrated, in my opinion, because typically they are developed when epidemics are on their way out because of better sanitary measures and fast recognition and isolation of patients.
People want to feel protected against disease and have a tendency to assume that anyone who is unvaccinated is a personal threat. It doesn’t really work that way. But among the vaccinated, there are many who might as well be unvaccinated because their bodies did not respond as expected. Typically today, the vast majority of cases of a particular disease are among the vaccinated. This is just as true for animals, including those vaccinated against rabies. In my reading for my work, I saw concern about overvaccination among veterinarians – their patients have a much shorter lifetime than humans, so they were seeing problems that crop up at different maturity levels faster. Vaccination of ill or elderly animals is too often done and carries high risk. My cats’ vet wouldn’t do it past a certain age – she said that either the immune system was already primed for the pathogen or it never would be, and the risk outweighed the potential benefit at some point. A very worrisome connection between rabies vaccines and cancer in cats was seen, for example – I think it was mainly due to the adjuvant, but vets started injecting in the leg rather than elsewhere on the assumption that the leg could be amputated if cancer developed. I’ve certainly seen signs of depression in cats after vaccination, which is greatly underreported (I hadn’t even thought to tell the vet myself, even in one case where the cat was acting off for a couple of weeks). A growing number of vets feel that the legally mandated rabies vaccination schedule is too intense and we need to look for other approaches. Rabies is a special case because it is such a deadly disease, but the vaccination issue is still much more complicated than is generally assumed.
I agree about “plastic is the new standard”. These days I was watching a rerun of a 1997 tv show with my friend and when the leading actress got a close up, my friend said “you know, I breathe seeing her natural beauty, with marks and all. Nowadays everything looks so fake.” I had to agree.
I’ve been watching old movies from the 70s lately. Actors were so much more interesting looking. They were flawed and imperfect and so much more beautiful than today’s ideal of beauty.
Yeah. I also notice that most people that are considered beautiful where I live are actually very plastic looking. The new trend now is the millimetrically drawn eyebrows, and some women dye theirs with eye pencil, which makes a ridiculous, fake effect. To be graphic, Kim Kardashian is the ideal look around here. Ugh.
Ugh. If she wants to go after plastic surgery and botox, that’s fine even though some people will view it as judgey because you are altering your body in an unnatural, permanent way that can have bad side effects. The rest…no. If Gwyneth Paltrow had said this, she’d be ripped to shreds instead of praised.
+1
I was a huge fan of the show Blossom so I watched her on the episode of “What Not To Wear” that she was on before “The Big Bang Theory” revived her career, and I can’t stand her after that episode. I have a huge problem with women who behave the way she does–Mayim puts no effort into how she looks because she takes herself seriously and she doesn’t believe that being really smart and caring about your appearance can co-exist. When Clinton and Stacey asked her why she dressed like a bag lady, her response was constantly “because I’m a neuroscientist, I have more important things to worry about!” (not verbatim, but essentially the same thing). Over and over again, she repeated how she was too important and too serious to dress nicely or bother to brush her hair.
My take on that is, that’s all fine and dandy but don’t bash women who care about their appearances. Don’t trivialize women who choose to put on makeup before they leave the house, or want to have their hooded eyelids removed, or dye their hair because they don’t personally want to go grey. It’s a choice. Mayim is actually perpetuating a stereotype that is equally as harmful and dangerous. How many women can’t break the glass ceiling at work because no one takes women seriously unless they look like that old stereotype of the spinster librarian? Or how many people assume a beautiful competent woman got her position because she’s beautiful?
My best friend is seriously beautiful, and she also happens to be the smartest person that I know and it infuriates me how often she gets knocked down by her peers as she pursues her PhD. in her field, with passive aggressive comments about the most ridiculous sh-t like whether or not she has makeup on when she goes to class. Her female classmates actually pick at her. There is such a huge issue with people saying that girls don’t get involved with science and math, and I think that women like Mayim who perpetuate the stereotype that you can’t be overly feminine or else you aren’t serious enough are a large part of the problem with that. People who write blog posts like Mayim did are equally as bad as people who talk about how women have to care about what they look like. At the end of the day, it is a choice.
I agree. I think we all know at least one person who is not only smarter and more beautiful but also kinder than Mayim.
Having a PhD is just like being gorgeous, yes, you have to work hard to earn it but millions of people have them and post-doctorate degrees as well, and they probably are not acting and writing blogs about trivial matters because they do have more important things to do with their degrees.
I agree with you. I do think some of her intentions are good, and I’m supportive of women (and anyone else) being able to pick and choose as much of or as little of the things that are collectively seen as ‘feminine’ and ‘beautiful’ as they like. What I can’t stand is the way some people on both sides of the debate get. You have the types who feel it is their God-given right to lecture women for not conforming enough to conventional standards of beauty and femininity- arguing that women and girls who don’t put ‘enough’ effort into maintaining a ‘beautiful, sexy, feminine’ look have low self-esteem, aren’t ‘doing their part in being a woman’ and are ‘man-haters’ or ‘not giving their man enough’. Then you have the types who will say that any woman who does take some part in the ‘beautiful, feminine, and sexy’ have low self-esteem, are ‘not progressive enough’, are slaves to males, or must be lacking in the brains or skills department. It’s like you want to take both types of women to the side and say, “Look. Just because you partake in the ‘beautiful, feminine, & sexy” doesn’t mean that you’re ‘a real woman’, and just because YOU denounce or don’t care much for the ‘beautiful, feminine, & sexy’ doesn’t mean you’re a more progressive person.”
Love this comment!!
Well, isn’t Ariana Grande the end of times?
I like her…nerdiness and all. She’s smart, genuine and her own person with no apologies. I like her realness.
+1
I like her. I may not agree wholeheartedly with every single thing she says but I respect the hell out of how she walks the walk that she talks. I think she’s the counterbalance to the Kardashians and the like (in every way possible). She sounds no more ‘judgy’ than the vapid contingent.
Yes, she’s like an anti-Kardashian.
+1,000,000
I like her. But that being said, everything in moderation, including moderation. “Altering” yourself with a mani pedi, or going to the gym isn’t the be all end all of womanism. She went too far there. Big difference between making YOURSELF feel good (damn do I need a pedi so my dry feel don’t stick to my sheets) and going to the gym to get endorphins running to get you through something rough, and doing them for someone else.
I feel like she’s talking about the obsession with all of it. I was part of that in my college years, tanning twice a week, manicures,blond highlights every month, gym 2 hours a day….all to fit some ideal I thought was normal.
Now, I feel like one of those buzzfeed articles about your late 20s where its like “Yep. this is me. take it or leave it.”
Gym is fine a few days a week. Manicures when its a special occasion. Life is easier in moderation.
That being said, Mayim has gotten a bit nutty over the past few years
“I feel like she’s talking about the obsession with all of it. I was part of that in my college years, tanning twice a week, manicures,blond highlights every month, gym 2 hours a day….all to fit some ideal I thought was normal.”
I, too, felt as if she was talking about the obsession with all of it. I couldn’t care less if people do any of those things, but the degree to which some of them want to talk about is cringeworthy. I don’t need updates on how badly someone needs to work out or go to a spa. Just do it. Don’t talk about it.
I think she meant gym obsession. I used to love the gym, but developed exercise bulimia and since then refuse to go to one. I work out at home or outside. I never watch her show, but I love that she hasn’t conformed to the ridiculous Hollywood “trends” like using botox, plastic surgery, and stupid methods to lose weight. She’s part of a smaller group of women who believe in staying au natural, minus some make up here and there. Woot Woot foe her.
I like her general message but it reminds me of the “real women have curves” brigade, because it validates only one way to be. She’s saying superficiality is bad, it creates unrealistic expectations, etc. But, what about when it’s harmless? What if you color your hair for fun, not because you feel it’s necessary to met societal expectations?
By telling women how they ought to feel and what is good and bad, she comes off judgy and authoritarian lIke the people pressuring her. She IS in a superficial business and I think it’s probably frustrating so I sympathize.
But, a better message would be Gray Hair is Cool, Too, or, I Like My Natural Face. Yay for you, Mayim.
Agreed Redd. It’s ok for woman to do whatever they want to with their own look. If that’s going to the gym and getting manicures who is Mayim to say that’s bad because she doesn’t do that?
It’s hilarious to me when celebrities start “LifeStyle” blogs to speak to the plebes about how we can better ourselves.
I love Mayim. Her post about doing the S. 8 finale after her father died was really moving.
I like her. I don’t think she needs that we all need to listen to her way of thinking or even agree with her. She’s trying to make women feel comfortable in their own skin which is contrary to the way Hollywood society has been going the last 10 years. Everybody looks fake, nobody is happy with who they are; you get celebs that say they love their curves or having a little extra weight on them and the next month they’ve lost 30 pounds.
I’m high maintenance. I do my nails and my toes and I go to the gym on occasion but I’m overweight and not overly happy with who I am at the moment but I see nothing wrong with changing myself to be a happier version of myself – without the necessity to spend thousands of dollars doing so. I also am starting to get grey (white) hair around my hairline and I’ve said since I was a teenager – I WILL NEVER have grey hair. I’ll dye it until the day I can no longer dye it.
” I do my nails and my toes”
I’m impressed that you do your own. I feel like most people pay for that service.
I went into this with an open mind, but no. Things like this are really hypocritical. Mayim finds it necessary to write a piece like this because she feels that women like her are judged for not complying with “normal” beauty standards, but in reality, she is being judgmental of women who choose to comply with those standards because they actually enjoy it, not just because it’s what society expects of them.
This is a quote from Devil Wears Prada (I know, I know) that immediately came to mind when I read the excerpt from her blog above:
“You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select… I don’t know… that lumpy blue sweater, for instance because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back.”
Why is it seemingly impossible for there to be a happy medium between the mindset of “women have to care about their appearances and live a certain way or they won’t be viewed as womanly,” and Mayim’s take on things, which seems to be completely anti any sort of procedures that women might take part in because they WANT to? How about we live and let others live as well? For example, I will never in my lifetime let my hair go grey and that is my choice. No one is standing up telling women who choose to go grey that they’re unacceptable, yet here she is critiquing women who might want to go in and get their hooded eyelids fixed for personal reasons. Forgive me, because I know this will sound ruder than I mean for it to, but looking at her says enough about how she feels about the gym. She doesn’t need to be hyper critical of others who decide to partake in activities she takes herself too seriously to be a part of.
yeah I’m not taking any anti-vaxxer seriously, thanks.
^ This, so much this
I love the site so far. It’s not judgy like some of you may think. I would definitely say give it a chance.
In the same way that we are to leave her alone for breastfeeding until 4-5, she needs to leave others alone for their choices. She may not agree with them, but don’t look down on women who dye their hair. I’m 27 with A LOT of grey. No, its not “ugly” but I don’t like it. I am young and don’t want to have grey effing HAIR. So I dye it (when I’m not preggo) and there is nothing wrong with that and I will not be shamed for it. If I was 40 years old, it would be a different story.
I’m sorry but I actually prefer wearing spanx in a dress or skirt. It’s more comfortable to me.
I live in my spanx. Since my c-section it’s really uncomfortable to wear clothes without spanx.
I like Mayim for the most part despite almost being her polar opposite, but that’s because I have an open mind. She should try it too.
“Although it makes no sense why she doesn’t like the gym. ”
I haven’t read her piece , so I’ll only speak for myself and explain, why, for me it makes sense.
I run approximately 45- 50 kms a week, more if I do a race (trails with lots of ascents/descents), swim, dive and do stand up paddle in the ocean. I’ve tried the gym but it didn’t do it for me.
1/Apart from the execise part, the pleasure comes from being outdoor. The smells, animals (it’s whales season, so running along coast path there’s always a chance I see them, or dolphins).Looking at corals when I swim beats looking at the tiles of the pool.
2/I need the variety of conditions for my preparation:rocks, sand, mud, dry land, night/shadow/sun/rain, the amount of water I use etc… I need to know how I adjust and react.
3/Another plus: I do it absolutely alone (no music, no phone, no interaction with any other human being for at least an hour). Except when I scuba dive obviously.
4/Total independency: no problem with opening hours, holiday, for the lenght of time I like. No need to step down because my 45 min on the treadmill are over. And again, I need to go somewhere and be part of a landscape.
Other negatives for me at the gym: the ever present music/screens , mirrors everywhere, the over the top pep of instructors. At some courses, women basically in the starting blocks to get their grip on a mat, a step, a good spot in front of the mirror. Considering the bickering on the parking lot at rush hour, I have serious doubt about the soothing virtue of it all.
To sum it up, it can make sense to love exercise but not going to the gym. I’ve absolutely no idea if it’s what she implied though.