Here are some assorted photos of Gwen Stefani over the weekend. Saturday night, she attended the big Baby2Baby gala in Hollywood, and she was also seen out and about on Friday afternoon (the jeans photos). With the red carpet photos, Gwen looks really good, doesn’t she? Earlier this year, she was looking really Botoxy, but she’s either got some better people taking care of her or she’s not messing with her face as much as she used to be.
Gwen has come off a few weeks of total domination. By that I mean, two weeks ago we learned that for sure, Gwen and Blake Shelton are dating for real now. Then last week, we learned that the whole reason why Gwen and Gavin Rossdale split was because he was carrying on an affair with Nanny Mindy for YEARS. I had some questions about why it took so long for Gwen to finally be done with Gavin after she found out about the nanny betrayal. As it turns out, Gwen’s first reaction was to blame herself. Maybe. Sounds pretty possible, doesn’t it?
As Gwen Stefani moves on with her Voice co-star Blake Shelton, new reports are claiming to know the truth behind her breakup with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale. According to Hollywood Life, the No Doubt singer blamed herself for Rossdale’s alleged cheating with the family’s nanny, Mindy.
“At first, Gwen blamed herself when she found out about Gavin and Mindy,” an insider tells the site. “She was full of regret that she somehow caused Gavin to have a wandering eye, that she could have somehow prevented the affair, that she never ever should have hired someone so young and cute.”
The source reveals that while the cheating eventually led to the couple’s divorce, Stefani was shocked by the news.
“These thoughts tormented her for a long time,” the source continues. “They could have, would have, should haves nearly destroyed her.”
I think a lot of women in similar situations often blame themselves. When guys cheated on me when I was younger, I was always filled with shame, like I did something wrong, like “if only” I had done something differently, maybe the guy wouldn’t have done whatever. You know what? That’s such BS. Some guys cheat. Some guys are douchebags. It has nothing to do with what their girlfriends or wives have done or didn’t do. Anyway, I’m glad Gwen finally had enough of Gavin’s BS.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.
Nonsense, just attempting to keep alive very outdated backwards logic which would justify mens poor behaviors. No one is buying it…
I agree. More often than not the wronged party seems to think they’re partly responsible for the bad behavior.
Given the crap that’s coming out about the nanny, it would be very difficult for me to be civil.
My first husband cheated on me. People are careful to my face about it, but it hurts when some people I know find out that a man cheated on his wife and the first thing out of their mouth is “well, she IS very controlling/fat/mean whatever…” As if they are looking for how it was her fault. I think that’s unfortunately the way a lot of people look at it, including the women themselves.
GDAT, totally agree. This happened to a close friend of mine. While I wanted her to just set his clothes on fire and immediately file for divorce, she really went through a rough patch of self doubt. She is beautiful and it was sad to see her blame her looks, her education, her job, everything. She thought if she had been better at basically everything, this wouldn’t have happened. And her asshat of a husband reinforced this idea, by saying she wasn’t a “go-getter’ like she used to be. She finally got her self-esteem back and kicked him to the curb. She’s in a much better place today.
Given what we all know about Gwen’s low self-esteem, I totally buy this story. I’m sure she did blame herself, and probably explains why she didn’t immediately separate from him. Plus the kids, and she seems fairly conservative about marriage vows. She’s Catholic and I think she thought this was forever.
And of course, the cheater (and their side-piece) are usually only too happy to place the blame on the injured party as well.
I think that’s a very common first reaction because most people need to feel that they could have had some control over the situation. Ergo the “what did I do wrong” reaction because it implies that you actually could have done something to prevent it. It takes some people a while to realize that the only thing you can really control is yourself and that you’re not responsible for the decisions other people make.
I buy it. She was the bread winner, she worked more regularly. He toured, but doesn’t have other side projects like her that brought home the money. She trusted this woman to help take care of her family and her househusband porked her for a long time. Obviously intellectually she understood it was his fault but it’s hardly uncommon for working women to play the “what if I had been home more” game cause women are hard on themselves that way.
Too bad her girl power lyrics are just lyrics.
And I love her without the red lipstick.
Being in love with the wrong kind of man can wear anyone down over a long period of time.
sadly, I agree.
Yes. I was with a cheater when I was fresh out of highschool and I still remember wondering what they (other women) had that I didn’t. The answer is “nothing.” It took me a long time to understand the problem was simply him and it would not have mattered what I did or didn’t do, or what I had or didn’t have compared to any other women. He was/is simply a cheater and continued to cheat on every girlfriend after me, the poor woman who was naiave enough to marry him and even now, divorced and getting older, he’s still incapable of any kind of healthy relationship. I wish I could tell this to every young woman beating herself up over something entirely unrelated to her.
I can sympathize I am a magnet for “wrong men”…and I think I have read that she has a previous behavior of this–being the one with less power in the relationship or the one that loves more in the relationships.
Both I guess.
Not saying this is the case with GS -but most of the time we seek what we grew up with-if your Daddy was a workaholic or cheated, then sometimes we (I!) seek men who are unavailable in similar ways.
@Tami I feel your pain, same here. A great book, The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker was recommended to me….changed my life, how I see things, even my past.
Now I see patterns amongst those “wrong men”, and how I was open to being suckered in. It’s obvious once you read that book.
And you’re right about repeating childhood, in my family we chose to ignore my father’s ‘issues’….and I continued to ignore obvious signs of “wrong men”.
Justagirl- I read the Gift of Fear too, and it was life changing. I was a magnet for the bad boys and now I have a loving and stable relationship for the past 12 years. I can’t recommend that book enough. After I had my daughter, I also read Protecting the Gift. Another great read, IMHO.
You hit the nail on the head.
She doesn’t seem the sharpest tool in the box to begin with, and I think she’s kind of Taylor-Swift-y in her romantic idealization of the long-suffering girly girl.
I assumed she’s not that sharp, but look at how much money she’s made over the years! As my SO says, “she really works it.” She must have made some very savvy business and marketing decisions over the years, or at least had the intelligence to hire great/smart people to make excellent decisions for her. I wonder if her 15-year old girl personality is just a really good act made easier by the fact that she’s truly a sweet person at heart.
Few of us are smart when it comes to love…
Her lyrics to so many of her old songs suggest it was always an unhealthy relationship, and those are often emotionally abusive.
When it’s long-term, the victim often idealizes the other based on the ‘good old days’ that were never actually completely good, just better in comparison. And they’ve invested so much of their heart & time in this person, they’re almost blind to the truth, until they are strong enough to deal with it.
With how much has come out over the years about his douchy behavior, and even more recently, yeah, it was very unhealthy.
She doesn’t really have girl power lyrics. Just A Girl probably is the only one. Well, I guess I don’t really know past the Hey Baby era. Ugh. But really, most of her lyrics are not empowering. Low self esteem and wanting a husband.
I can relate to her. I always thought that my bf would get mad at me or cheat if it was my fault. It takes some time to figure out the guy is just an actual d*ck. All women have different experiences. I’m glad she finally saw the light. BTW… She looks pretty!!!
Of course Gwen Stefani blamed herself. She’s a martyr.
Yeah, I’ve been thinking more and more…she seems comfortable in the role of victim.
Reportedly he was always telling her that she was a bad Mum because she spent time on her business and career. Gavin enjoyed the benefits of fame and the Beverly Hills life but then faulted her for providing it. This is a kind of cultish brainwashing. I see it over and over again. A rather sociopathic man blames the wife for all his bad behavior/abuse. I’m glad she freed herself.
UGH.
I’m glad she’s done with him.
God he is sick!!! She needs to cut him off completely and communicate with him only about the children and even then, only through an assistant. She needs no direct contact with him, or he might try to suck her back in.
She’s always struck me as someone who feels guilty for enjoying work and being successful because it takes her away from her family. With that mentality, I can see how she could internalize Gavin’s affair as partly her fault. Of course it’s not and its sad that she blamed herself.
HL is the worst site there is. I never believe anything they throw out. Always get their info from some insider, bs. I certainly hope she doesn’t blame herself….women have a tendency to do that. She appears to be a smart, pretty woman. Even though Jennifer Garner runs around in mom jeans looking like sometimes like she just gave up, I wouldn’t throw blame on her either. I, however would never hire a young pretty woman to watch my kids. Men are idiots and some of these Hollywood nannies have dollar signs on their minds and can play these fools with their sexuality. I hate to give nannies a bad rap, because there are many good ones I’m sure, but me….Mrs. Doubtfire would be at my home rocking the babes.
It makes sense with all the young and cute nannies. Hollywood is superficiality on steroids and all about the cute, celebrity families included. Sadly, these A listers probably think of how the nanny will “look” when papped out in public, or maybe it’s all cool when they see how much energy early 20 somethings have to be able to be playful and keep up with little ones all day, compared to someone in their 40’s, 50’s who usually have a life of sorts and may not be willing to commit their entire lives to a high profile employer. Likewise Hollywood attracts cute young things wanting fame, fortune, or just notoriety at any cost, as in affleck’s case.
I was never filled with shame when guys cheated on me – foaming at the mouth anger, yes, steam coming out of my ears and lightening bolts out of my eyes – but no shame, nope not a bit.
I wonder if it was less about the cheating where the shame came from and more about the fact she trusted a woman to help her husband with the children while she was away working from home and she felt like she basically helped facilitate their affair.
this sounds like the straw that broke the camels back
I’m still not buying this nanny thing OR the supposed Gwake romance. Maybe I’m cynical, but this sounds like the Garner playbook with a twist in the end.
I’m sort of with you. I believe Gavin cheated with the nanny but the part that stuns me is that Gwen didn’t catch on for years. I find it hard to believe that someone could be so “blind” and not notice a cheating spouse? I think she put up with it for years and now using the Garner playbook for sympathy.
Gwen is not very bright. I think there was a combination of obliviousness and some degree of wilful ignorance at play here.
She looks great! It is sad she felt that way. A dear friend of mine recently divorced. Her husband was in the military and they got stationed in Korea. He cheated on her with a ‘juicy girl’. And has blamed my friend the whole time. She believed it for a while, then came to her senses and divorced him. By no means is she perfect, but you can’t make someone cheat. Divorce does wonders for women in some cases. She looks amazing and is focusing on herself and her kids now, and he married the prostitute!
My loser of an ex-husband also cheated on me. I tried to forgive him and move on but it’s impossible – or it was for me – to rebuild trust and any attraction I previously had for him. I was sad for awhile but now I’m divorced, finding myself, rebuilding my life and have hope that one day I will fall in love again. Until that day happens I am enjoying life and realizing that I am not responsible for the mistakes of others.
Gwen isn’t either.
Dude, he wore her down. Her whole life with him was a lie. Can you imagine what that does to your head? He has been manipulating her for years to cover this up
and thats just downright abusive.
Good for her for taking her power back and leaving him. no one deserves what happened to her.
And he sure as f–k doesn’t deserve her.
Yep. He’s disgusting, I don’t know what she saw in him in the first place.
She’s successful and pretty; kick him out and don’t look back.
Yes, exactly, the coverup manipulations are abusive….and that wasn’t the first time. Her old song lyrics are sadly such an example of that kind of game-playing/abuse, he was messing with her head from the beginning.
That’s a kind of abuse that no one else knows about, no one sees any physical evidence, and victims don’t talk about it because they don’t realize how bad it is, how much it’s destroying them. I feel for her after all those years. And she shouldn’t count on Blake other than some fun times.
I hope she doesn’t expect Blake to be faithful. I mean I hope she isn’t jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
These pics give me a Holly Madison vibe. Appearance-wise, that is.
Right? I think she looks good but totally different to her previous self.
My husband of 23 years cheated on me with a friend he knew since high school. I have stage four cancer and we’ve been struggling in our marriage for several years since ffinding out. I blamed myself for getting sick and I blamed myself for not paying enough attention to him. I am finally recognizing that I am not at fault for h is bad behavior, but I sympathize with Gwen. There is a lot of shame around being cheated on. , and I think many women’s first reaction is to take on that shame.
PS 1st time poster. Long standing lurker
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I am glad that you’re getting through it and realizing that you are not at fault. I dated a guy once who wasn’t honest with me about a woman friend whom he hung out with. Although I was angry at his deception and mostly pissed that he couldn’t be honest with me, I did have small moments where I wondered whether I brought on his cheating, due to my issues or failure to give him the attention he needed. I think it’s common for women to feel shame and wonder if they were at fault- particularly if the woman is in love with the guy or the guy is a big douchecanoe who shifts the blame.
Oh honey, no, he cheated because he’s a cheater. Regardless, you are a thousand times more beautiful than that forgery of a nanny.