If you want to feel like bashing your head against a wall, I double-dog dare you to attempt to get through Chris Hemsworth’s Vanity Fair cover story. The piece is written by Lili Anolik and at some point, I wanted to scream “oh for the love of God, just ask him if he’ll have sex with you!!!!” Like, the whole thing is about how he looks and how he’s incredibly sexy, to the point where it feels like she didn’t ask him any questions. Like, she only sat there and stared at him longingly. Maybe I’m just not feeling it because I’ve never been like “ROWR” for Chris Hemsworth. Hemsworth covers the newest issue of Vanity Fair because he’s promoting In the Heart of the Sea, the big-whale story. Some highlights from the piece:
His three-year stint on Aussie soap opera Home and Away: “It was a great place to get caught up in that sort of thing [i.e., teen-idol-dom] because no one really gave a sh-t, because it was just a soap opera and cell-phone cameras weren’t as popular.”
How Thor happened: “I had an audition with Ken [Branagh, for Thor] that didn’t go very well. I remember walking out thinking, Oh well, there goes that opportunity. Then one day Joss Whedon and Drew were reading the trades, and on the front was the final four for Thor. And they pointed to Liam and said, ‘Hey, is that your brother?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ And they said, ‘Why the hell aren’t you in the mix?’ And I said, ‘I didn’t get a callback.’ And they were like, ‘This is crazy.’ And I was like, ‘If one of us gets it, that’s cool.’ And they were like, ‘No way. That should be you.’ And when casting opened back up, Joss called Ken and said, ‘Give Chris another shot.’ ”
He worried about failing as Thor: “When something costs $150 million and it doesn’t work, it’s your face, it’s your fault. And the character has fans. Are they still a fan or did you just make them never want to read the comic again?”
On LA: “[It will] set up to turn you into a complete narcissist…You just kind of lose touch with reality a bit here. You drive down the street and you’re constantly reminded of everything you’re either involved in or not involved in. It’s exhausting.”
Complaining about the paparazzi: “But I’m not complaining!,” a sentence he uttered so often it became a kind of refrain. Then he laughed. “What was it that Jennifer Lawrence said? ‘I know everyone says you’re not supposed to complain about the paparazzi. Well, I don’t give a sh-t. I’m f–king complaining!’ ” He cut off his laugh to sigh. “But she can get away with that.”
Working on non-Marvel projects: “Being part of a franchise like The Avengers is the dream scenario. I’ve got this thing that’s going to keep me relevant, and I can still explore other things in between, do a few films no one cares about.”
I do believe that the paparazzi bother him and I also believe that the LA echo chamber was a big reason why he relocated his family back to Australia on a semi-permanent basis. The only thing is… he should talk to his wife about all of that. Elsa Pataky was and still is very thirsty. She’s the one posting intimate family photos on her Instagram. She was the one setting up a lot of those pap strolls in LA. I’ve always wondered if Chris sort of wanted to move his family to Australia so that he could keep Elsa away from the famewhore temptations.
Oh, and some of these VF photos really are pretty. Too bad he looks like Scott Eastwood on the cover.
Photos courtesy of Vanity Fair.
He has the tiniest eyes, doesn’t he? I don’t find any of the Hemwsworths hot, but Liam is a bit more attractive.
And you’re not supposed to complain about the paparazzi. Cry me a river you millionaire.
Why, yes. Yes he does. Not my cup of tea and crumpets.
It’s like all he can hope to do is peer. He can’t stare, ogle, gaze, gawk, squint (as his eyes would then be closed), leer, eye, goggle, or gape. So, yeah.
Squinty!
LOL, I can’t unsee it now
Good god, his f*** wife called the paps herself! Sit down Chris Hemsworth!
+1
And don’t forget all these official events where he went with his kids
He admitted he lost touch with reality. I’m sure he’s not going to call out his wife. And he distanced his family as much as he could because of how unhealthy it is to be there.
I’m not a fan and I didn’t like Thor but the excerpts didn’t make his seem like an entitled prick. He came off as just another actor. *Shrug*
I’ve never found either of them all that hot but I have to admit that the shot with Chris and the 2 cats made me “awwww” out loud. I’m a sucker for men with animals.
The facial expression on the one he is holding is perfect.
Yes! Hot!
It is weird that I only find Chris Hemsworth as James Hunt hot, the Brit accent, the swagger?
He is so channeling Scott Eastwood. They could be brothers.
I think Scott is hotter, actually. Chris has these beady little eyes. Scott’s eyes match his face and arent in permanent squint-mode like this.
Someone (here, I think) once said he resembles George W. Bush, I think that is so spot on. I also see the Eastwood resemblance.
Is she the one that did the equally embarrassing. Chris Evans one?
If life is so difficult for this wooden lunk head, he should just take his thirsty wife and go and live on Bondi and STFU. The world will manage to continue to turn without him. I think you are on to something with maybe wanting to keep her indoors out of the spotlight. Ask Adrien Brody about that!
Or the castle he bought! 😉
Isn’t it fascinating how LA was such a paparazzi nightmare for poor Thor and yet celebs and prestigious actors like Matt Damon and Christian Bale live there and raise children whose names I don’t know? Interesting…
Wow, that cover is so budget.
“Happy Hunkidays!”? That’s just bad.
Cats! Chris Hemsworth has cats!
Kitties! I’m such a sucker for a grown man holding cats. I know, I’m weak.
I doubt they are his cats. They both look like they don’t want to be there.
He definitely has his better angles for his eyes, doesn’t he? I never realized how small his eyes are until this photo shoot. I still like him as a person and love his smile. 🙂
Thirsty Elsa?! You lie. She is an artist. How are we not talking about Remora’s music video? That was nothing but elegance and musical genius.
Can I have link or the title of the song? I need a good laugh.
What?! Bwahahahaha….that is amazing.
reMora is amazing and I know know how to properly use a hair dryer thank to her video – I appreciate your recognition of her brilliance, Fanty.
I don’t know about you guys but I am taking CHemboy’s cover to be a holiday gift buying suggestion – who drew my name for Secret Santa?
Omg Miss J! I just watched it, it was Kim K. level bad singing and embarrassment.
I am such a fan of Remora that I follow her kn twitter. Oh, i love her instagram!
I thought I was the only one who was “Blah” on him. The cats are adorable though.
To me he resembles the kid from the sixth sense… Hailey Joel Osment… Idk why but I’m getting those vibes…
The teeny tiny eyes.
Who cares about his eyes-look at the rest of him-omg!
Woah, you’re right! I never saw it before. Am never going to un-see iit now…. Hmpf.Thanks.
bahahahah!!!! This is so accurate and hilarious. Love it!!!
The cover looks like an advertisement for a fraternity.
Did she at least ask him how he came to be randomly hanging out with Joss Whedon? And whos Drew?
Drew Goddard. He directed Cabin in the Woods. Drew and Joss used to work on Buffy together.
He wasn’t randomly hanging with him. As Marty says, Joss directed Cabin In The Woods, which Hemsworth was in, and Joss thought he’d make a great Thor and helped put in a good word.
Elsa Pataky’s instagram is great.
Only a few family pictures and great behind the scenes work.
She works?
Oh staging pap walks is work.
“Like, the whole thing is about how he looks and how he’s incredibly sexy, to the point where it feels like she didn’t ask him any questions.”
Well a lot of women celebs get the same kind of questions.
I like Chris, he’s easy on the eyes and I love a man who’s not afraid to publicly play with a little pussy (cat) while lying in bed.
yeah, this sounds like the bog-standard Scarlett Johansson profile. Except that I actually think Scarjo’s sexier/can see the hype (and I am a straight woman).
Chris seems like an ok sort, at least he did move his family away to Oz instead of staying in LA and whinging.
I live in la and there’s a he’ll of a lot of places stars can live where they won’t get stuck in the industry rat race and mindset. I always roll my eyes when people say shit like this- if you want realness then maybe a mansion in a gated community in bel air where your neighbors are movie stars isn’t the most clever of decisions.
Right? I was born and raised in LA, i live in NYC now but i hate it when celebrities talk crap about LA..and it’s not just celebrities anymore, everyone seems to think it’s so “fake”. well my dad was a construction worker and my mom was a seamstress and i worked two jobs in high school…how fake is that?
I though the way he worded his answer made sense though. It seemed like he was talking about the advertising part of his career being in his face when he’s in L.A whereas in Australia he probably doesn’t see his face on billboards quite as much. If you’re a non-famous person, I don’t think living in LA would be much different than living elsewhere, but if you’re a movie star I can see why living someplace else might be more to one’s liking. Plus, he’s from Australia anyway which sounds like the type of appealing place most people would enjoy anyway. If he was from some poor area in Scary Country X, I might not get his preference, but since he’s comparing Australia to LA its not hard to see why he’d find the place he grew up in more appealing.
Oh and he’s very handsome but not distinctive looking. That’s how I feel about Ryan gosling too. Liam is cuter to me cause his features are more unique.
He seems like a nice decent good looking guy but wow he is BORING This is what passes for a movie star today. OK
yeah, no wonder Tom Hiddleston ran away with all the fangirl love after Thor….. that’s what happens when you cast a very good actor in an intriguing supporting role opposite a nice but otherwise pedestrian actor as lead.
if he’s boring, give me more. please.
He normally does it for me, to be honest, but I’m not loving these photos, except OMG CATS (!!!!).
I’m not a Hemworth boy band fan. I think they’re nice enough just not that bright and the Golds Gym muscle guys aren’t my type. I think his point about LA is right. Esp because I’ve heard his other quotes on his work ethic and he doesn’t sound like a smart enough guy to not fall down the trap. As for drooling all over his interview, get a room VF.
Well, I am with him on paparazzi. I am going to complain about paparazzi and no paparazzi would ever care about me. It is not about me.
Paparazzi are vultures and dangerous ones at that.
if their victims can’t complain about them, then I can do it, no problem.
I lose touch with reality when I look at Liam
He’s a sweet decent guy, and pretty hunky in fact. I loved him as the Huntsman, can’t wait for the sequel.
So totally agree-can’t take my eyes off him-and love that man-husky voice- more, much more please..
How do you all know Elsa is calling paparazzi? If you guys know then Chris knows, and that’s gonna be a bone of contention if he dislikes it as much as he says he does. Sometimes paparazzi just set down in wealthy areas and celebs can either hide away, get assistants to do everything for them or they can just roll their eyes and just try to get on with their lives.
I used to be meh about Hemsworth but I quite like him now. He isn’t very exciting or edgy but he seems like a decent, down to earth guy and after Rush I realised he could actually act. With smart management of his career I think he could have a credible one beyond being a Marvel hunk. As for LA … I kind of get it. It’s probably good to live somewhere where it doesn’t revolve around the movie business so much. I also agreed with him when he complained about the fact that people just drive everywhere. I feel like a freak when I walk in LA!
I agree with you. He’s a better actor than given credit for. I hope the moby dick film does well. He needs a hit (that’s not Marvel).
Yes! I finally find someone who agrees with me. I think he was great in Rush!
This dude doesn’t bug me. I totally understand why he hates LA, and why he hates the paparazzi. He doesn’t sound as precious as other actors though such as Christian Bale, Sean Penn etc. He also kind of reminds me of a younger more bulkier Brad Pitt.
I believe Lili Anolik got her job after trying for many years and finally being THE person with THE story when Dr Frederick Brandt died; her husband was his business partner. I can’t say I liked that article; it didn’t skim the surface so much as hover over it reverently. I’m sure there was much, much more to be said in that profile, that was not.
I’ll be interested to see how she does with a story about someone she doesn’t actually know. Doesn’t sound good, but who knows? It’s the quotes that make a profile, unless the interviewer is getting all date rapey like that Million Dollar Critic guy.
That photo with the cats is so lovelessly taken. Chris looks special needs in it (which is a negative achievement, it takes a special skill to make such a beautiful man look bad!), and like he’s about to strangle one cat, while the other kitty is hunting something out of frame. The only point of focus in the pic is Chris’ right upper arm.
I can’t help but compare the way Chris was posed with cats with Tom Hiddleston shoot with Bentley. That was more thoughtfully and carefully made, both man and cat were in the focus area.
I don’t get it. Chris is gorgeous. Why are so many of his photoshoots so awkward and cringeworthy, like he only ever gets the creepiest interviewers and least talented photographers? I thought Vanity Fair can afford better.
Lust-pure lust!
I don’t usually like blond men but there’s something about him. I am a Hiddleston fangirl also, not rabidly, mind you. I think Hemsworth here has a nice, genuine laugh (heard in interviews) and a nice smile. Mr. MusicMama teases me about my “thing” for him. I think he probably just moved his family back home where he felt more comfortable.