Gwen Stefani: The relationship with Blake is ‘an unexpected gift… it saved me’

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A photo posted by Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) on

The countdown is on to the release of Gwen Stefani’s upcoming solo album, “This Is What the Truth Feels Like,” which will be released this Friday. Gwen is still on the publicity trail for the release, and still talking about her divorce from Gavin Rossdale and her new relationship with country singer Blake Shelton. (Oh you didn’t know they were dating? Just kidding.)

When Gwen was recently asked about the details of her divorce from Gavin, she only said, “If I could, I would just tell you everything, and you would just be in shock. It’s a really good, juicy story.” (I’m thinking a tell-all autobiography can’t be too far away, right?) The 46-year-old singer, who has a history of putting her personal life to music (remember when she sang songs like “Don’t Speak” and “Ex-Girlfriend” about her relationship with No Doubt band mate Tony Kanal?) spoke with Refinery 29 about her latest release – her first solo album since 2006’s The Sweet Escape – calling it her “most personal f***ing” effort. Here are some highlights from the interview:

On deciding to write about loss and love: “I just felt at a certain point in my own heart, when everything was crushed and I was down real, real low, I was like, I don’t want to be down here. This is not me. I remember feeling embarrassed. Like, I gotta prove that this is not going to be who I am. I gotta turn this into music.”

How “Truth” differs from her No Doubt work: “It felt different. But it also felt familiar in a spiritual sense. When I first discovered songwriting when my heart was cracked and smashed the first time, I wrote Tragic Kingdom. I didn’t even know I could write music. And no one would have predicted that anyone would hear that record. [With Truth], it was the same attitude, in the sense that I wasn’t doing it for any other reason but to help myself.”

What Gwen told her producers about the album: “I just want to be clear that I’m here because I want to write. I want to say what I need to say. I don’t care about charts. I don’t care about the label. I don’t care about anyone hearing this music. All I want to do is say the truth. I want to use my gift.”

On how Blake saved her:
“I think that when you go through what I went through, or what I’m still going through, you think you’re hopeless. You don’t know what’s going to happen. You panic. It was a really super-unexpected gift to find a friend, somebody who happened to be going through the exact same thing as me, literally mirroring my experience. I don’t think it’s an accident that that happened. It saved me.”

Getting push back from the label: “We wrote a song called “Rocket Ship,” and that’s when the label said to me, ‘Listen, we think this overall album you’re writing is too personal. We don’t think people are going to relate. You should just put out an art record.’ And I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? I’m literally channeling God here. I’m saving my own life with this record and you come and punch me in the face?’ The next day I went in and told those guys, ‘Let’s write the most f–king personal sh-t, ever — opposite of what anyone would want to hear.’ And that’s when we wrote ‘Used to Love You.’”

On her musical direction: “I didn’t have any kind of musical direction for this album. Every song was written around emotions. Of course [our relationship] was an influence. Musically, no. Every song was written purely out of whatever my heart was going through at that moment. And we would create whatever music we needed to support that.

[From Refinery 29]

I have always loved No Doubt and some of Gwen’s solo stuff is good (NOT “Hollaback Girl,” what an irritating song, although I never misspell bananas on my grocery lists because of that). I get how she’s an artist and makes her art through her personal experiences, but I’m not sure about this album. I know it’s kind of a sappy song, but I do dig “Make Me Like You.” Conversely, I’m not a fan of “Used to Love You” and, judging by some of the songs on the track listing, like “Misery” and “Red Flag,” I think there’s going to be a lot of Gavin bashing on this album. And, I still can’t imagine what a Gwake duet is going to sound like, but I’m not overly optimistic. Regardless, I’ll give the new disc a listen.


A photo posted by Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) on

Gwen Stefani Visits A Studio In Culver City

2016 Vanity Fair Oscar Party

Photo credit:, Fame Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Instagram/Gwen Stefani

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49 Responses to “Gwen Stefani: The relationship with Blake is ‘an unexpected gift… it saved me’”

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  1. Petee says:

    I love Gwen but I am not very fond of these new songs.They just are not as good as her others.Also Ex-Girlfriend was about Gavin not Tony.

    • fiona says:

      The new songs are AWFUL. and I love gwen. Hell, I even liked her solo pop career until this new material came around.

      She can do so much better, her new stuff just feels lazy. Really lazy.

      • Jenn says:

        Same, have always luv’d all her songs. Even the solo albums. These songs are sadly boring. Lyrics dont seem as strong as her usual lyrics and even though I downloaded them I barely listen to them 🙁 boo

    • Lisa says:

      she is also beginning to look more and more like madonna! Not in a good way

  2. Neelyo says:

    Liked No Doubt but her first solo album was nothing more than a commercial for LAMB her clothing line so this new one I assume will be an ad for The Voice.

    And it looks like she’s fading away in that Instagram pic.

  3. Size Does Matter says:

    F, Gwen, it’s 2016. Save yourself.

    • The only says:

      Sour grapes much…none to save you and provide you with solace and succour at the time of need..sad

      • Quinn says:

        I really hope you’re kidding…sour grapes??

      • Size Does Matter says:

        BAHAHAHA! Sour grapes. JFC.

        Gwen is talented, beautiful, famous, with a career most people only dream of. She does not need a man to save her or validate her. Nor should any other woman.

      • islandwalker says:

        Sour grapes? Having someone to lean on and listen to you is one thing but we women can save our own damn selves now (and always could.) She needs some self-esteem and some alone time.

      • swak says:

        I’m glad i don’t need “saving”. It’s nice to have someone who supports you and understands what you are going through. But if he “saved” her then what is going to happen if eventually this relationship falls apart. She’ll have to find someone else to “save” her instead of relying on herself to do so.

    • Francesca says:

      People.. Who need people…

    • jenn12 says:

      Exactly what I was thinking. Save yourself, for pity’s sake. What would have happened if you didn’t have another relationship? You can’t stand on your own two feet? And people’s favorite insult is that the person must not be in a relationship, and must be a loser. Really, that is the measuring stick of success?

      • swak says:

        Agree, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be a success or to be content with your life. My dad died young (59) and when my mom was asked if she would marry again, she told people no, she didn’t want to have to take care of an old man. It’s where I learned about independence and being able to do for myself if necessary.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Right? Someone needs to tell her what a jump-off is.

  4. Juniper says:

    She needs to stop talking about him because she’s setting herself up for a major embarrassment. I like the new songs.

  5. littlemissnaughty says:

    She had me until “I’m literally channeling God here”. Let’s not get carried away.

  6. Suzanne says:

    I totally gave Gwen a pass on Tragic Kingdom- everybody gets their heart splattered in their youth. I even loved Return of Saturn! And those were some serious simpering and lack of confidence songs.

    But sister- in your mid 40’s, it’s time to save yourself.

    • fiona says:

      Couldn’t agree more. She’s better than this.

    • Kate says:

      I was afraid I was the only one who side eyed her whole “he saved me bit”. It made me want to gag. You don’t need anyone to save you. We all need people to come along beside us and help us get through rough patches and to help us mend from heartbreak. But no one can save you if you can’t stand on your own.

  7. Dunne says:


  8. Jayna says:

    I love “Misery.” It’s not about Gavin. It’s about the misery of missing someone new,
    Blake, as he was getting under her skin. She didn’t know what to do with those emotions in a new romance. It’s about her being hot for Blake.

  9. Locke Lamora says:

    I never really cared for Gwen ( In interviews she seems very annoying), so I don’t know much about her solo career, but God, this is annoying. I’ll never understand people who are so comfortable sharing their personal stuff with people.

    And “saving” yourself after a bad relationship with another relationship is a bad idea.

    On a more superficial note, I know the platinum hair is her trademark, but she would look so much better as a brunette.

    • me says:

      I thought she looked so nice with brown hair in that Cool video. Doesn’t she always ‘save herself’ with another relationship? I know she’s only had 3 boyfriends, but come on honey. I wish she was stronger and recognized her own gifts.

  10. Apsutter says:

    Just ONCE it would be freaking fantastic to see a powerful, successful, stable woman be confident in herself and actually stay single for more than 2 minutes. I’m soooo sick of people jumping from major relationship to major relationship. Guys do it as well but it’s just constant with women. I’m the only woman in my circle that after a crushing breakup decided I wanted to be alone and learn myself. Must we line up one partner after another? It makes me very sad to think about.

    • Jayna says:

      She didn’t line him up. He came into her life and it was mutual and they were friends before. Big difference. All these actors and actresses are leaving their spouses for other people, having babies, adopting babies, settled in with the new guy r girl. Gwen was the one betrayed, not leaving, so I say good for her that she isn’t the one sitting home musing over her cad of a husband and the husband is out with someone new. I’m glad he didn’t have that control over her after crushing and stomping on her heart in an unforgivable way, three year affair with a nanny, even on the night she gave birth.

      I say go for it since they obviously care a great deal for each other and are having fun. Blake doesn’t live with her. The kids are with Gavin half the time. She’s 46. Life is short. She spent a lifetime devoted to a marriage that wasn’t easy.

      • Apsutter says:

        I actually do agree she’s getting the better end of the deal here because Gavin is a grade A jerk but nothing about that awful marriage gives her pause at getting into a serious relationship so quick?

      • swak says:

        Jayna, yes Gwen should be able to have fun but I agree with Apsutter, you should step back and not get deeply involved right after a bad break up.

      • I tend to agree–and to add to what you said, people are different. Some are ready long before they separate/divorce, some need more time. It’s your life, you live it the way you feel is best. Especially in Hollywood/the music industry.

        I wish she wasn’t so blatantly OMFG I have a boyfriend! two seconds after they start dating, especially now that she has kids–but meh. That’s not a crime, and isn’t hurting anyone really.

  11. bigchili says:

    “It was a really super-unexpected gift to find a friend, somebody who happened to be going through the exact same thing as me, literally mirroring my experience. ”

    So…is she confirming all of the rumors about Miranda cheating on Blake?

    That’s all I’m taking from this.

    • InsertNameHere says:

      YES! Thank you – I was starting to think no one else caught that!

      • CL says:

        I thought she was making it obvious that Miranda was sleeping with Gwen’s nanny as well. 😉

    • JenniferJustice says:

      I didn’t think they were rumors at this point. Every outlet has said Miranda cheated on Blake with somebody from her entourage and it was a long-standing affair. Considering Miranda and Blake got married just a few years ago, my take is she wasn’t faithful for very long.

      You should Google Miranda and the gossip mill. You’d be shocked at the accusations against her and it isn’t coming from camp Blake. The record industry and the country music scene has known about Miranda for a very long time, but once she hooked up with Blake, she was viewed as untouchable because many of the country artists are on Blake’s own label or have work with them in one way or another. Nobody felt safe coming out with what was known about Miranda, but now that they are no longer together, a lot has come out – some of it new, some of it old, but kept secret. She is known in that circle for being a freakin’ scary psycho. She stalks, she harasses, she tries to break up relationships, and she doesn’t take no for an answer. Knowing that, I’m glad Blake isn’t with her anymore. And it makes me wonder about how they first hooked up. I’m sure Blake was never forced into anything he didn’t want to do, but I can definitely see her manipulating him and being very cunning in getting what she wanted.

      • Jayna says:

        Stalks? Hmmm. That’s interesting. I found it very odd and kind of creepy that all of a sudden she started following her ex-husband’s new girlfriend on Twitter out of the blue one day. Gwen did not follow her back.

    • What's inside says:

      That’s what I got from that statement.

  12. Ramona Q. says:

    I loved her with brown hair in that “I Know We’re Cool” video awhile back.

  13. Kelly says:

    Sorry…I can’t with this relationship. While it wouldn’t surprise me if Miranda had been stepping out on him and maybe she should have expected it since he cheated on his first wife with her, Blake came out too hard trying to paint Miranda as the only culprit in their divorce. He and Gwen started officially dating too soon for me to believe anything other than that they had been banging long before their divorces and I can’t stand the fact that he won’t own up to his own mistakes.

    • I was ready to take Miranda and Blake at their word, etc, until I started reading Miranda’s interviews. Girlfriend was GUILTY as hell about the whole thing–in the early years. And she watched him like a hawk (going through his phone, etc)–and discussed that openly. So I knew then that they’d done something, because no one acts/talks that guiltily and watches their partner like that unless they KNOW that that person likes to dip into other ponds.

      • Kelly says:

        Oh I’m not gonna argue that Miranda did wrong. But don’t try to justify your own cheating by saying that your spouse did it first. I think it’s a case of four people all behaving badly…they all should have gotten out of relationships before starting any new nonsense. My biggest problem with Blake and Gwen is that they’re acting like they’re totally blameless

  14. JenniferJustice says:

    I think it’s time people accept Gwen for who she is and she is an insecure woman. That’s all there is to it. Getting mad at her for not being who you want her to be isn’t going to change anything and you’re asking her to be someone she is not. Would it be nice if she grew emotionally and became more confident and recognized her value? Sure, but don’t hold your breath because she is in her mid 40’s now and it hasn’t happened yet, so chances are, it’s not going to happen. I don’t know what her childhood was like, but I don’t see Gwen as ever being particularly strong emotionally. She has a very child-like quality, a fragility and honestly, it’s that fragility that makes her so endearing and kind. I don’t see that changing.

    I think people need to realize too that this poor woman has only had three boyfriends and all three of them rejected her in the end and the last one – can’t think of a more horrible betrayal. In an ideal world, she would need no one to validate her and she wouldn’t feel the need to be loved and valued by a man. But we live in THIS world and she has never fully received what she needs to feel whole. If Blake Sheldon can make her feel good about herself and help her see that she is indeed a beautiful, sexy, talented woman with a lot to offer, I don’t see that as a bad thing. That doesn’t necessarily equate to co-dependency or needing to be marry him. Maybe it is the kick-start she needs to see herself through other people’s eyes – not her’s or the Gavins of the world. I see nothing wrong with feeling uplifting by the support of another. Nobody says this is her next or new serious relationship. And most men are going to be drawn to a beautiful woman who is wounded and hurt and try to help her. I’m actually happy for them. I’m not convinced it’s all real – maybe to some extent, but I’m still convinced this relationship at least started out as a promotional tactic for The Voice and for both of their careers so they don’t appear undesirable or pathetic.

    P.S. I love “Make me Like You!” Awesome song to work out to.

    • Jayna says:

      I like your post, except I think Blake was really hurting also and Gwen was just as responsible for bringing him happiness as he her. Blake really loved Miranda and he has said he was in a dark place when all of this was going down, his marriage ending.

      Instead of wallowing in misery for six months thinking of all the places he was banging the nanny in the house, etc., etc., and the pain of it all, I think someone seeing you in a whole different light and bringing joy and a sense of adventure and a new sense of possibilities in life is not a bad thing at all. You never get over anybody you really loved even if they are a creep until you fall for someone else and it kind of erases that hold they have on you and replaces that with new memories, new sensual feelings towards another man, and most of all, just fun, after a marriage/relationship that was dragging you down and ultimately made you feel like you wasted all those years for somebody you never really knew, because I doubt she ever imagined the man she adored was capable of banging the nanny for three years in their home and still able to look at her and live with her with no guilt. Ughhh. What a devastating feeling for Gwen to deal with..

  15. Andrea says:

    She comes across as incredibly insecure and vulnerable and that makes me wonder about Blake. I hope she feels peace within herself because only then can she have a real relationship with anyone.

  16. The Original Mia says:

    She’s incredibly insecure. Not an attractive look on a woman in her 40s with 3 kids. Pump the brakes, Gwen!

  17. What's inside says:

    I like her and think that being in a relationship is very important to her, especially when her self esteem took such as major hit. I expect that she will continue to evolve and whether this relationship with Blake lasts or not, does not really matter. There will always be someone else for her because that is just how she rolls.