Things are going really well for Ruby Rose presently. She is a hit as Stella on Orange is the New Black as well as the new face for Ralph Lauren’s Denim line. Last Sunday, Ruby was bestowed the Stephen F Kolzak Award, which acknowledges media professionals for promoting equality and acceptance, at the 27th annual GLAAD Media Awards. Her good friend Taylor Swift presented Ruby with the award, calling her a “force of nature.”
Ruby was reminded recently that three short years ago she was in a much darker place. Shortly after her career started to take off in her native Australia, Ruby decided she needed to to seek treatment for depression in America; even if it meant breaking several commitments to do so. In 2013 Ruby posted an Instagram that read, “It is with great sadness that despite everything I have tried in the short time I was given I am still losing my battle with depression”. When a fan tweeted this old post to Ruby last week, it inspired Ruby, who is an ambassador for the mental health foundation Headspace, to send a message to other sufferers about the importance to push through the bleak times.
Ruby Rose isn’t afraid to open up about painful parts of her past—especially if there’s a chance that sharing her struggle can help others.
On Friday, the 30-year-old Orange Is the New Black star Instagrammed a heartfelt post about overcoming depression.
The model-actress did so after a fan flagged up her 2013 tweet about “losing my battle with depression” and feeling hopeless about the future.
“It was a real spinout when I got sent that, and it was something I had posted three years ago, you know, when I was really really depressed and I didn’t think that I could live another day or want to live another day, let alone live my dream,” Rose told E! News’ Erin Lim Saturday at the GLAAD Media Awards.
“So, my message was really just that, to really reflect on how many people in the world right now feel like they don’t want to go on another day, or they can’t go on another day, and they’re just seconds or minutes or days away from reaching their full potential and blossoming and being free and happy,” she explained. “I just thought that’s got to be millions of people and that’s just my message. Just hang in there, like one day at a time, and it does get better. I know that’s cliché, but it just does.”
[From E! Online]
“… that’s just my message. Just hang in there, like one day at a time, and it does get better. I know that’s cliché, but it just does,” This is the most difficult thing to convey to a person in a spiral. It’s a hard cross to bear because anyone who has suffered knows both how trite these words sound during a dark spell and how vital they are to get across. I feel her desperation here as sometimes it feels like all you can do is say them over and over and louder and louder.
In Ruby’s recent Instagram response, she is not defining an extraordinary life as becoming an actress but rather living a fulfilled life, “I chose to fight and I thought it meant I’d be able to live. I DIDNT think it meant I’d be able to live my dream. I DIDNT think it would result in this extraordinary life I get to be a part of now… It just makes me wonder how many others are days, hours, seconds away from realizing their worth… Their potential… And once the dark cloud is lifted will be truly happy and free.. #wealldeservetobehere #wealldeservetobehappy “ Kudos to Ruby for both fighting for her health and continuing to get her message out there.
Photo credit: WENN and Fame/Flynet Photos and Getty Images
She’s so gorgeous and I’m happy she’s feeling better now. Depresseion is a bitch.
I’m so happy for her and glad she got help. I’m also a little afraid for her when she says that once the dark cloud is lifted, you will be truly happy and free. In my experience, it can come back. If you’ve been at the bottom and clawed your way out, you can recognize the signs earlier and earlier, and try to adjust what needs adjusting – medication, rest, stress, exercise or all of the above, and hopefully you will have faith that it can get better. But it’s so disheartening when that dark cloud comes back, and it seems to come when you don’t feel strong enough to fight again. I wish her the best. I wish everybody who struggles with a dark cloud all the strength and hope they need to fight it one more time.
Absolutely this. I have been down this path afew times so I have better understanding of my warning signs, although tbh I tend to sit on it in some deluded belief that THIS time I’ll beat it by myself. The harder part for me is activating my support system. They were “accomodating” the first time around but the older I get, the more my episodes just seem like self indulgence to them. It can come back especially when its a co-morbid condition. I wish this message would start to get out too.
Agreed. After it comes back enough times, that path out seems more and more unlikely. Does it get better? Maybe not for all of us.
Wow. Her words are very poignant and thought provoking. I hope those suffering from depression read it and get some much needed comfort and encouragement.
Watching someone suffer from it is a helpless feeling. There never seem to be the right words or gestures available in order to help alleviate some of their suffering.
I am glad she is in a good place now.
Why did ahe seek treatment in America, and not in Australia?
Her life has improved since she left Australia. Australia is not the place for ambitious people. It’s soul destroying. If you want success in the arts, you have to leave Australia.
Interesting. Why do you think that is?
I think it’s a bit misleading to say Australia isn’t for ambitious people generally. Though, if you’ve made that comment relating to the arts then I agree. There’s a distinct lack of funding for one and I think we’re such big consumers of American and, to a lesser extent British, film and television content it makes it hard for local content to compete. We’ve ended up with a small group of actors that keep getting recycled amongst the few tv productions here that I imagine it would make it very difficult for any up and coming actors to get ahead and make any sort of living out of the craft. They have a much better chance overseas.
But are there no state funded theaters? My country is teeny tiny, and we’re also huge consumers of foreign films amd Tv shows. There are a handful of films and series of domestic production, so most actors, all actors, primarily work in theatre. There are a few private ones, but the biggest theatres are owned by the state so they are employed by the state. However, the only way into acting is going to the Academy of dramatic arts ( also a state school), and there are three o them in the whole country, and they take about 10 students per year, so there are not that many actors here that they couldn’t find any work.
Ruby rose is not a proper actress of the theatrical sort.She’s actually a model/ dj turned actress. She became an actress after she moved to Hollywood.
Her acting is very poor in actual fact so this highbrow discussion about funding of the ARTS seems a little misplaced on post about her.
She’s kind of a poster girl for this sort of androgynous looking celebrity but to speak on her as someone who deserved to be taken seriously as an actress in Australia is a little odd seeing that she’s not made any attempt to train or thread the boards in Australia. Australia is brimming with legit acting talent that deserves way more opportunity and funding than this one. There is so much talent.Rose seems to be more of a celebrity type of actor.
Good for her on speaking out on depression though.
EM – Couldn’t agree more.
Co-sign this. I’m Australian, born/raised but had to get out due to what Australians and Brits refer to as “tall poppy syndrome”. Like EM said, If you want success in the Arts, you have to move to the US or Europe. I’m an actor and moved to the US 7 years ago and haven’t looked back. Yes, I miss my home country but there are far more opportunities for me here than at home. I feel like America celebrates individuals’ successes where Australia criticizes you if you’re what they deem “too successful”.
That’s not really true, especially regarding ambition. Of course at a certain point, if you want to be in a few films each year or get a huge TV pay-check (or if you’re not very talented but don’t want to be on soaps forever) you’re going to have to give it a shot in the US, but that’s just because we don’t really have the population to be churning out that much film or TV every year, or paying actors 20 million. Like any small (population wise) country. But lots of people do well staying in Australia, and really, there’s a much greater chance of getting work in Australia than the US. Maybe not the work you dreamed of, but not everyone’s Meryl Streep. Every actor I know here works pretty consistently in ads, soaps, voice over work etc., whereas I also know people in LA who call themselves actors but can’t even get a speaking role in their community theatre productions because there’s just that much competition.
Ruby Rose is a model turned DJ turned actress. She’s not great at any of those things, but despite that she did really well in Australia as a ‘personality’. Lots of ad campaigns, lots of paid events, lots of press attention. She’s earned millions not doing a whole lot.
Depression is one the worst things that can happen to a person. People think you’re whining, or just crying for attention. Or, and the revolting and very common here where I live: “Oh, you just need a boyfriend”.
I’ve been on a spiral for months. I tried suicide — AGAIN — on December last year and I refuse to do therapy (I’m taking the meds and that’s it). Things are getting worse by the day. My social life is coming to a website, for crying out loud.
And you know you hit rock bottom when you realize you’ve been living enough just to see a movie (Civil War) or/and a tv series (Game of Thrones new season). And I’m already start it’s just not worth it.
I think I’ve already said it here…I live a day at a time. I dream of but don’t make long term plans.
So what steps have you taken to address the depression, Eve?
Besides taking 7 pills and tabs a day…nothing.
Living with depression is a daily struggle with an enemy that lives inside of me.
My sister (the only person who keeps on trying to help me) found a really nice therapist, but I refuse to go. I don’t believe in it.
I relate. I take one 20 mg tablet of escitalopram in the morning and one 25mg of Valdoxan at night. I’m not too bad. I get to work four times a week and have my kids three times a week. I also find getting enough sleep, semi regular exercise and trying to keep the caffeine intake down helps make life fairly manageable. But I have no interest in socializing or getting into a relationship because it would take an amazing person to get me interested in a relationship and amazing people have better options than me. And that’s experience talking. Not self pity.
@ Dangles:
I barely leave the house. To be honest, I barely leave my bedroom. I’ve had episodes where I stayed three days locked in my bedroom…doing NOTHING. JUst wishing death would come to get me in my sleep.
I had to quit college for a while (one semester) at the University. I had one class — one class only — to attend but realized I wouldn’t be able to leave the house every Tuesday.
I also turned down a German course at a school for languages here because I would have to leave the house three times a week. And learning German is one of my dreams.
I think my severe anxiety (I have that, too) has evolved to downright panic.
@Dangles who wrote “amazing people have better options than me”.
This really struck me because Its pretty clear from your post that you are an amazing person. Seriously, read that and tell me you are not a warrior with a straight face. So I’m going to say (from my own experience) that this is the illness speaking. Perhaps the people you have encountered in the past werent right for you at that time but that does not mean that there are a bunch of amazing people out there who will be right for you when you are ready.
@Eve
I dont want to push therapy if you its not something you believe in but how do you feel about online support groups? Reddit has some really great MH subreddits that are very well moderated. I started out on the depression subreddit and gradually began spending more time on the self improvement pages. Honestly, its been an invaluable resource in changing my thinking patterns. If you havent been, maybe try it for a few days?
@Eve: Sounds horrible. I used to have panic attacks in my early twenties when I smoked cannabis, cigarettes and had hang overs. But I stopped all that stuff and eventually the anxiety dropped off. Although if I over do the coffee it can kick back in. I hear meditation can help. If you’re stuck at home maybe doing a daily meditation will help ground you so you won’t get overcome by intrusive fears and thoughts. The practice of letting go of that stuff while you’re trying to still your mind during meditation helps people to develop the discipline of letting go of intrusive and oppressive thoughts while they’re going about their daily business.
I meant “quit college for a while” or “quit the current semester at the University.” Don’t know which form is right.
ETA: @ Dangles — you’re much stronger than me. You work and has kids to take care of. That’s a major victory when we consider the world we (depressive) live in.
I can’t even finish my final term paper at college. I told my sister I was a lost cause. She doesn’t give up. I feel for her, because I can’t change who I am. And can’t fake something I’m not.
@ Naya:
My sister — the most stubborn person in the world — will make me go see the therapist.
I’ll see if I can’t bear three sessions. If not….then it will just medication (quetiapine, alprazolam and fluoxetine twice a day — plus another one at night to help me sleep).
@Eve I feel you so much that’s how i feel too, right now. I also relate to Naya’s comment on your family/ support system becoming less accommodating the next time it happens.
Sending you a warm virtual hug, Eve.
I bet you would be surprised over how many people reading your post, are in a similar boat. I stumbled onto this site during a terrible bout. A lot of the time the interractions I had here were my only human contact in days. I thought myself weak and stupid for wasting my days refreshing a celebrity website hoping somebody had acknowledged my post but looking back I am amazed at my survival skills. If I hadnt been arguing with strangers over whether Tom Hiddleston is hot (he is NOT), i would probably have been in a much darker headspace. So I say dont knock your survival technique, its as valid as any. Are you seeing somebody for the depression if I may ask?
Sites like this are a good sounding board when you’re isolated, because you can use other people’s reactions to your thoughts to gauge your mental health. I actually find my online interactions more helpful than the interactions I have with my workmates because all those interactions are work appropriate and fairly impersonal.
The net is especially helpful when you’re labouring under flawed logic and people are able to point it out you, thus saving you the embarrassment of expressing it in the real world.
@ Naya:
Yes and no. Yes, I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist since 2013.
No, I have been avoiding, procrastinating, using every excuse I can not to see him again.
Depression is destructive that way. It makes me run away from possible help.
Don’t give up, Eve. Please don’t. 😳
Eve, I wish I couldd hug you.
I’ve been in my most recent depressive episode for four years. I gave up hope on everything. My life shrunk to work and celebrity gossip and my cats. I tried to kill myself last month (something I promised myself I would never do to my family, no matter how bad things got), I stopped, I told someone, and I spent 6 days in a hospital. I started an antidepressant and therapy. This is all to say that I know for myself how tenacious and all-consuming that depression can be.
I have no answers. But for the first time in forever, I have a lot of hope that I can fight my way out of the cloud and manage a happy life that keeps putting depression in the corner.
So many people who are depressed don’t think they are worth the money or expertise of therapy. I don’t want to rack up co-pays. But I don’t want to die or be miserable forever, so I tell myself: YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Eve, you are worth it. You are worth whatever healthy thing you haven’t tried yet that might help even a little. You are worth love on this thread AND out in the big world. You are worth investing in yourself. I had to talk myself into buying a few books that can help me change my thoughts and behaviors (a $30 investment) but they are keeping me focused on my health. You are worth anything and everything. And because you are in the grip of depression and your illness is setting limits, I know that disease may prevent you from absorbing anything I have to say.
But whever that destructive inner voice lets up, please whisper to yourself: I am worth it. And this lady sends all her love.
Thank you, dear.
@ Teddy7:
I’m sorry it happened to you, too.
My last attempt was pretty hardcore and I went from ER straight to ICU (where I spent 8 days and where I acquired Hospital-pneumonia, then spent 7 more days in the infirmary — it was a nightmare because I shared a room with a patient that had very intrusive and rude relatives).
I promised not to try again…I actually felt remorse this time…but I know these are empty promises. I KNOW it’s the depression speaking, lying through me.
I’m sorry Eve. I feel your pain. I suffer with depression too and most days I’m doing pretty good. Some days I can’t take it. I take medication as well and I tried therapy but after the therapist diagnosed me with PTSD I felt it was too “real” or something, I don’t know, but I stopped going.
Please hang in there. It feels like it sometimes but you’re not alone. There’s a lot of us fighting alongside you. Stay strong.
PTSD is hell, but there is a new therapy that is very effective – EMDR works with folks hurting from war, so I am hopeful about it lessening my own horror. http://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/
Im on the same boat. Suffering from PPA/PPD for a year now, coupled with severe anxiety over the fact that we are about to permanently relocate to a completely unknown and far country with ntg settled in about 3 months. Some days the interaction here is my only adult conversation during the day.
Dealing with PPA on top of relocation anxiety and the corresponding depression is just brutal
I tried therapy and meds for years. The only thing that helped me in the long term was keeping busy. But now, I cant keep myself busy cos there is just too much responsibility on me. So it sucks.
This is going to be my last comment on this thread. Depression is so vicious that even talking about it is draining. I get mentally and physically (yes, physically) tired. I end up not handling well the outpouring of support. So, forgive me to leave when so many share the same situation.
Plus, I feel like these posts expose myself away too much. I know most are sincere and so are their wishes. But this is the internet and we can’t filter the crazy (trolls).
I do, however, have to point out a comment made by Hecate. She was spot on when she commented on something Ruby Rose said: “… that’s just my message. Just hang in there, like one day at a time, and it does get better. I know that’s cliché, but it just does,’ (by Ruby Rose)
Hecate: This is the most difficult thing to convey to a person in a spiral. It’s a hard cross to bear because anyone who has suffered knows both how trite these words sound during a dark spell and how vital they are to get across. I feel her desperation here as sometimes it feels like all you can do is say them over and over and louder and louder.”
*HUGS TO ALL IN THE SAME SITUATION AND TO THOSE WHO TRY TO HELP US*
Hi Eve!
Just want to say I´m happy to see you posting!
Been looking out for you.
I love you.
Hang on.
Please.
Eve I just wanted to say I’ve been there and I understand a bit of how you feel. I’ve had my struggles with depression which has led to hospitalization. It’s a beast and most of us are ashamed to admit that we are going through it or had it in the past. I never thought that I would admit this on a gossip website but here I am. I’m so happy to see you posting again and hang in there. When you’re feeling down turn to your C/B family, we are here for you.
Oh, Eve, I’m so sorry. I’m literally crying as I type. I send out warm thoughts your way.
I’m going through an up and down period, myself. Just had blood work to make sure it isn’t that I’m lacking in something, but I’ve suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I tried to commit suicide when I was 13. Got a lot of help after that. But of course, things don’t last and I started to self-medicate with alcohol after my mom died. I’ve been sober for a while now and I know I can’t go back to that.
I’m going to my meds doctor today to see what can be done. It’s so hard when the depression is kicking my a$$ – I don’t want to do anything. 🙁
Eve, I wish I could help. I truly care about you, and look forward to your posts. Please ask your sister to help you get to the therapist. You are valuable, smart, funny and delightful even though you are in such pain. Please, please keep looking for help.
Oh Eve, my heart breaks for you. I’m glad you’re still coming here. I’ve struggled with depression, a really black period last summer. And so has my teenage son. Medication and strenuous exercise are helping both of us. I have found therapy to be extremely helpful during certain particularly bad periods but I’m not going now. I know how hard it is to get out the door but I hope you’ll reconsider seeing a therapist for even a short time to help pull you out of this black hole. You’ve got people pulling for you, me included, always. As Teddy7 said, you are worth it.
To all you guys, and especially Eve, my virtual friend, I know that there are many of us who are going through different versions of the same pain. It is a daily struggle, and a never-ending fight. Each day endured, and sometimes actually enjoyed, is a victory. You are all, indeed, warriors, and hopefully can take some comfort from those who wish you all a portion of joy and healing, which is what everybody deserves. I send you all a virtual hug, and lots of good thoughts.
@Eve, your sister sounds like a true angel, and such a blessing in your life. To know you have such deep, unconditional love must be a balm to your troubled spirit. Please take care of yourself, your CB mates need your wise words on all the weighty topics we discuss.
@ Antipodean:
Everybody says that about her. And that’s why I feel like I’m a burden and wish she would let me go.
P.S.: Let’s be honest: we don’t discuss weighty subjects here. At least, not most of the time.
I’d like to thank you all for your words of support or sharing experiences. Boston Green Eyes, I hope you continue to get better.
Ha, ha, @Eve, that last little “weighty topic” line was actually my poor attempt at a joke, I was being a bit obscure, sorry. Most of the time we comment in a light manner about these foolish celebs and their silly quirks, but every now and then a meaningful connection is made, and I have to say I find it a small piece of internet magic. Sometimes it is enough to make my day. Again I say you are so lucky to have your wonderful sister, but she is also lucky to have you, if you think of it that way you can see why she carries you along in your dark times. If she is just a little as indefatigable as you seem to be, it is her devotion to you, and yours to her, that keeps you both going. It is not a duty, it is a testament to your love for each other, and it is a rare treasure. Keep on keeping on, and keep on writing! Take care of your good self!
@eve, I was diagnosed with a pretty severe bipolar condition that began in my 30’s (I’m now mid 40’s). The multiple suicide attempts and the inability to see anything good in the world has made me a shell of the aggressive go getter that I used to be.
I’ve been on an upswing for about a year without medication or therapy (I don’t recommend it). Excersize, stress management, mindful meditation, proper sleep hygiene, avoiding alcohol and keeping a good log of my moods has helped tremendously.
I still don’t leave the house. My only human contact is my family. But I’m okay with that. Don’t give up. And when I inevitably slip again I won’t either. The world needs us. People who think differently are an asset to society. Even if we are part of the world from home.
Eve – this probably will sound weird, but I love you right where you are at. I am not going to give you a pep talk, because it sounds like you get plenty of those, plus I know they are not helpful.
I am happy for every day you come and post here, because you usually have something pithy and often funny to say. Plus it means I get to see Stefan. 😛
Why is Ruby wearing a Metallica t-shirt while she plays dance music? Is that a thing?
Can’t she enjoy both? I wear my Fleetwood Mac concert tee while listening to Metallica, Van Morrison, AC/DC, etc. People like all sorts of things.
Well, that’s the obvious answer but I thought I might’ve been missing something. Like wearing a Metallica t-shirt at a dance thing is considered ironic or something.
Oh well that could very well be. I’m too old for the whole “ironic” thing 😉
On a completely superficial note, I don’t know what it is, but that woman makes this hetero woman seriously question her sexuality.
Um, it’s the drop-dead sexiness.
Oh yes! That must be it! LOL
I hope with therapy and medication she will stay where she is now. The way we treat mental illness is unforgiving. People avoid the depressed, anxious, bipolar, etc. horrifically, like somehow it is their fault. It’s a disease people. For those who think it isn’t, look at the picture of that beautiful young women, no one is exempt from depression, or cancer or any other disease.
It’s a lifelong sentence and I can personally testify that it doesn’t get any easier as you age, it actually is more difficult.
BUT, having people like Ruby who have the public ear and can speak for the rest of us is so incredibly important. I can’t begin to express how much it means to me, one of those in the shadows.
Keep fighting girl. Keep living. Depression is not something people should take lightly. If you know someone in your life who has depression…it doesn’t hurt to call them up to see how they are doing. Sometimes..that’s all it takes.
I met her on my plane once. She is lovely and even more beautiful in person.
Eve,
Some where up above a lady wrote about worth…. Oh my… Yes, worth.
You are worth it, the whisper, the cry or the silent scream. You. Are. Worth. It.
i too have suffered from the bitch. And last time when i hit rock bottom, I did something different and I opened myself up… I completely and utterly surrendered. I gave up, completely, gave up fighting and started saying that this is me. This is me, right in this moment and I’m going to just f***king try to love me. And this is ok. Other people might not think its ok, but it is. It is ok because I’m going to be ok with it.
Yes, it’s a bitch, it will come and it will go but I realised that since I opened my arms right up to MYSELF, it went away and it hasn’t (yet) come back. But also if it does, I’m ready. I’m ready to love myself the hardest I can through the darkness from that commitment I made in the blackest darkness.
In any state, it may not feel ok, but when it’s all you’ve got, tell yourself over and over that it is ok, this is ok, it’s very very uncomfortable, but it is ok and whisper your worth!!!
So
Much love to you all.