Jana Kramer, 32, is a country music singer. I know her because I see her occasionally at country music awards shows. Google tells me her hit singles are “Why You Wanna” and “I Got The Boy.” She’s on Instagram and Twitter like a lot of other stars and she’s a new mom, having just had baby daughter Jolie on January 31st. Jana recently Instagrammed a photo featuring a bunch of baby food jars at the checkout with the caption “and it begins,” which is cute. She’s switching her daughter to solids right around the time that pediatricians recommend. Only this is the Internet so of course people had to tell her she should make her own organic baby food harvested from her garden during a full moon on a Friday. Here’s her original post which drew negative comments.
The Daily Mail has details of some of the more judgy comments, which are now pushed down for me on Instagram so I can’t access them. The new comments on that post are now supportive of Kramer.
‘Make your own it’ll save money and it’s better for her,’ one commenter wrote.
‘My sister made her own baby food,’ another added. ‘Much healthier and now my nephew is almost five won’t touch processed food.’
A number of commenters told Kramer that homemade baby food was ‘easy’ to make and told her the jars weren’t as ‘nutritious’ for her precious daughter.
‘Steam and purée pretty much any fruit or veggie,’ one mother instructed her. ‘Great way to avoid pesky preservatives!’.
Some of those comments sound helpful-ish and not judgy, like the advice to steam or puree a vegetable, but others were surely rude. Here’s how Jana responded.
This was smart. She didn’t engage, she just shut it down and made it clear that she didn’t want to hear it after opening up on social media. She’s not trolling people like Chrissy Teigen with her fake baby, although once she sees how much press she got for this she might consider it.
In terms of not feeding your baby jarred food, I fed my son baby food in jars and food you mix with water. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t supposed to do this or that people would judge me for it. In fact at that point I was exhausted and didn’t want to have to cook on top of all of the other things I had to do. Moms can be so judgmental.
After this experience, Kramer wrote a little essay for Time Magazine’s Motto site about her experience. She wrote “Did you know that we are now expected to birth our children, nurse our children and then make their baby food from scratch?” Then she went on to say that she’s probably expected to grow her own food too along with holding down her job as a recording artist. Pretty much.
Her baby is so cute!
Photos credit: WENN.com, Getty, FameFlynet and Instagram
That kid is adorable – her smile is infectious! And the mommy shamers are annoying.
For anybody on Facebook, I strongly recommend reading the Sanctimommy page. It contains some real gems of judge, mined from other social media pages.
The nonstop “helpfulness” is one of the most amazing things about being a mother, I’ve learned. As soon as I announced my pregnancy, then started showing, I was momsplained on every single thing. Literally everything, from my child’s (future) education down to whether my shoes were too tight. And the dietary comments–mine, my son’s–are never ending. For some reason, mothering (because my husband is immune to all of this) has become a crowd-sourced event.
Frankly, I don’t give a R.A. what she sticks in her baby’s mouth. But the moment you think people would be interested in your photo of baby food is the moment you need to reevaluate your need for approval.
Exactly what NYer said.
My own two cents:
First, that baby is adorable. Really.
Second, that baby food is Earth’s Best, which is organic, and, since I’m pretty sure no baby food has preservatives as it is effectively canned, except in jars, no preservatives. Why the shame? It’s about as good as you’re going to get ready-made.
Third, it is more expensive than other baby foods or making your own–so what? In counter-point to the shamers, I’d say she’s helping support a quality business, so I wouldn’t be quick in encouraging to take her patronage away.
Still, I think it’s wrong to open yourself up to comments by posting on social media then lash out when the expected comments rain down. And really, did her baby food choices really need to be posted? Big news, there…
This and she’d have to know or at least guessed that people are going to judge her for that pic. I feel like it’s a way to stay in the news. Also I don’t mean this in a rude way but until this article, I had no clue who she was.
I’m pretty concerned with what’s in our foods, especially pre-packaged ones, so I wouldn’t buy jarred baby food. I won’t criticize Jana for doing what works for her family, though.
I agree. Recently, I built a breastfeeding gift basket for a friend and reading the ingredients on the back of a baby snack was appalling. Like a lot of those ingredients were basically poison (fluoride). I made a mental note to steer away from pre-packaged foods as much as possible. But I don’t need to shame someone about it.
Meh, flouride. Let me know when they start putting lead in baby food.
Hey Nameless,
I like your post but wanted to add a nerdy response:
Technically most vegetable baby food (homemade or not) will have some lead in it. Plants soak it up from the soil in areas where it naturally occurs.
Just like most breastmilk still contains traces of PCB’s even though they were banned decades ago.
Remember, it’s the dose that makes the poison! Our bodies are designed to handle small amounts of toxic things.
Nameless, you’re my kind of parent.
Jarred baby food has puréed fruits, veggies or meat, sometimes water. It’s not like twenty or thirty years ago when there were thickeners, gums, sugars, salts, and assorted additives. Having tasted my kids’ food, it’s bland like all unsalted food, but it is otherwise quite good.
Exactly! Baby food has come a long way. And if I can see the brand correctly — it’s one of the higher end, organic brands. I bought those for my kid and they were fine. No preservatives or other additives, fresh smelling and tasting.
I made most of my kid’s baby food — some of it from veggies from my own organic garden. But as a single working mother/home owner/yard keeper upper/fur baby momma — there are realistically only so many hours in the day. I think the obsessive mommy shamers must have way too much time on their hands to ruminate on all of these First World problems.
Helpful Tip: To freeze the baby food, I tried some of the fancy food containers specifically for baby food, but none worked well. I ended up using plain old ice cube trays. OXO has ones with sliding lids so that you can easily stack them — and they were BPA-free, if memory serves.
Me too, but that applies to pretty much all packaged food. I don’t buy much of it anyway, so if I had a kid I’d probably do the steam and purée thing. My parents did that for me, because it was cheaper and the smell of the stuff in jars made my mom ill.
But whatever, every family has different needs and has to choose what’s best for them. It’s not my or anyone’s place to pass judgment for doing things differently.
She’s buying organic Earth’s Best baby food, and the only thing in them that’s not the food ingredient is acetic acid. it’s not a big deal. I made most of my own baby food because it was fun for me and I love cooking and it is not hard to steam veggies and puree them, and my mom only gave us homemade baby food too but I also bought these jars of fruits, veggies, and meats. again, it’s not a big deal. kids grow. they turn out fine.
I’m sure baby food has come a long way in recent years. It sure used to be nasty. The cost factor would come up for me in choosing what to feed a kid. Veggies are cheap, and generally high quality prepared food is not, even if the ingredients are simple. Obviously I don’t know what the brand she’s buying costs, but at least for me if it was significantly higher than buying the raw ingredients I’d probably opt for at least mostly making it myself. I cook most of my own food already, so adding another pot to the stove wouldn’t be too bad. If money wasn’t an issue, well, who knows.
This whle Mommy Shaming movement is ridiculous. It’s become so bad that total strangers walk up to one another in Target stores and start lecturing about using formula instead of breastfeeding. When did it become OK to start doing things like this? I wish more people would twll these shamers to STFU on the spot, maybe then we would and this whole “movement” thing would go away and moms would be free to parent in peace and follow medical advice as opposed to that of a random troll.
That’s just unacceptable. People should learn to hoe their own row and only intervene when someone’s wellbeing is in actual danger.
Does it not occur to some of those gobby people that there might be a perfectly good medical reason why some mums aren’t breast feeding?
It shouldn’t matter whether moms have a “good” reason or not. I’m sure most mother’s know the benefits of breast feeding and if they choose not to, for whatever reason, it’s their decision and it’s fine. It was common practice to for most babies to be fed on formula for decades and most of us turned out fine.
My sister takes an anti-seizure medication, so yeah, she doesn’t breast feed her kids. The nurses at the hospital she delivered her baby tried to convince her to stop the medication and give breast feeding a try. I told them to please F- off.
So they’d rather she put herself at risk of seizures (possibly while she is holding her baby?) and possible neurological damage than use formula….jesus christ. I dont blame you telling them to F off.
Tessa: I did not breastfeed because immediately after my births, I was on lithium as maintenance for possibly manic episodes (I have a history of bipolar disorder). Lithium is a major no-go for nursing, since it can pass to the baby and cause possible renal damage in infants. I can’t begin to tell you how many people tried to convince me that nursing was more important. The official LLL materials they give out on medications and nursing ask things like, “Is this medication really necessary? Is there an alternative? Can you take a break? Can you take it less often?” Which – OMG NO. Psychiatric meds can’t be stopped and started – they need to be taken consistently. Dosing changes are dangerous – most people have to fight to find the dosage that works for them. No person on meds (of any kind!) should be told to stop or otherwise mess with a successful regiment due to nursing. I’m sorry, but no. But SO many people believe that.
I got a lot better when I felt okay with just telling people “f*ck you.” Seriously. There are debates not worth having or arguing over. It’s better to just drop an f-bomb and move on from them!
There was a amazing article in the Washington Post about a woman who got SO much grief for not breast feeding-and when she pointed out to people that she was a breast cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy-they STILL insisted that she try. One lactation consultant even said ““It may come out anyway, or through your armpits,”. Because THAT’S a thing.
Yep, Sam… they asked her if the risk of seizure was more important to her than the health of her baby, etc.
I don’t think seizures are seen as serious by a lot of people. I had a theology professor who was a widow because her husband had a seizure in the shower and fell and died because of it. Before then, I had never heard of a person dying due to a seizure, but now I know it does. Josh Ozersky also died that way, IIRC.
Part of the problem I’ve seen is that lactation consultants, despite working in hospitals, are not actually medical professionals. They are not doctors – they might be nurses, but not always. They do not have medical training or knowledge outside of the birth and nursing realm, usually. Where does one of them get off advising a seizure sufferer about their medication or how they should live? Unless they are strongly educated about the specific issues in front of them, shouldn’t they defer to the doctor who actually deemed the medication necessary in the first place – and who’d be much more familiar with the patient? It makes no sense.
Even doctors do that, the whole “stop this med so we can do X”. When my aunt had cancer they took her off her heart arrhythmia meds to do chemo and she almost died. Fortunately she was at the hospital and they were able to stabilize her. A group of five doctors all stood around shaking their heads and saying, ” wow, guess she really needs that medication after all!” Um, duh. Cancer is in remission, btw.
A good friend of mine actually got shamed from a coworker for not breastfeeding. And you know why she wasn’t breastfeeding? Because during her pregnancy she discovered she had breast cancer and had to have both breasts removed. You never know what someone’s reasons might be. I so wish everyone would mind their own f–king business.
This has always been true, it just feels worse now because of social media. When I was in my twenties, I drove a friend and her baby to the grocery store. It was very cold. She had that baby wrapped up so warm in all sorts of clothing, snowsuit, blankets, booties, mittens, hat, you name it, the poor thing was probably roasting. I let them off at the door, then I carried the baby while she shopped. I am not exaggerating, every single woman that we passed who was a little older than me made a comment about how it was too cold to have that baby out. Every damn one. The most annoying part was that most of them addressed the BABY – “oh, hi, little sweetie, you need to tell your mommy that it’s way too cold for you to be outside!” Like I just laid him naked outside in the snow while I was shopping. It was infuriating! I don’t know how you guys take it.
Lol – people are arses.
We took our niece for an afternoon while my SIL studied for her nursing exams. I brought her to my mothers. And mom immediately was like “Erinn! It’s so cold out – that jacket isn’t very thick for her”. I passed her the baby “Does she feel cold to you?” Noooope. That baby runs hot like her dad and her uncle. She was so toasty warm, and I’d had her wrapped in a fuzzy blanket in the heated car haha. There’s this weird impulse thing about babies that even my generally level headed not too meddling mother immediately goes into “BUT THE BABY!”. To be fair to her, she’d neeever do it to a stranger.
I read that in Scandinavian countries was/is common to bundle up the babies, sit them in strollers and stick them outside for a bit in the winter. Not in a blizzard or anything but definitely in very low temperatures. To start acclimating them to the cold and getting them used to being outside.
Luckily in my day, maybe because there was no social media out there, mommy shaming wasn’t a big thing. Thank goodness because I would have told many people to F-off. I bought baby food because my children went to babysitters and it was easier to take that way. I could take a week at a time and not worry about it being refrigerated or kept frozen. At home, I gave them the veggies and fruit we ate. As far as taking babies out in cold or hot, as long as you are using all the protection you can, no biggie. Breastfeeding – your choice – not for me to put you down if you do or don’t or to question your reasons.
The mummy mafia…I don’t understand where and when they do find the time to comment on the internet instead of watering their plants or producing home-made organic food.
Seriously, if they were actually doing half the stuff they claimed to, they wouldn’t have time to sit on FB all day.
But but growing your own organic food, isn’t nearly as satisfying as boasting about it and lecturing others to do the same.
“The mummy mafia” exists because of the extra time they have on their hands and the emotional void and vacuum they have in their lives. They have nothing to give themselves self-esteem or a feeling of accomplishment so they feel the need to lecture others in order to feel superior to others.
Not sure WHY mommy shaming is a thing other than people have too much time on their hands and need to feel superior as if jar food vs making their own will give them a vastly superior child. I watched my aunt work herself into exhaustion making homemade food for twins and eventually she had to prioritize because it takes time. People need to mind their own and spend some of that attention on their own children
I have two acquaintances who have both been shamed in the formula aisle. I have no idea how this happens – do people like camp out in the aisle, waiting for the formula buyers to come by to give them the what for? But yeah, I was shocked that this happens (I was lucky, didn’t happen to me). But here’s the humor: One of them is a guy. Who’s married to a guy. And they adopted their son. And one of them got shamed for buying formula. Luckily, his husband was the next aisle over and came over when my friend called for him. He said the look on the woman’s face was beyond anything he’d quite ever seen. Do these people not think about that not every family has a mother in it in the first place? No!
This!! I have a friend who was shamed for buying formula in the baby aisle too! And….she’s a foster mom! She was so shocked by how rude and aggressive the woman was she just stood there. It makes me think people must have incredibly blessed or miserable lives to have to concern themselves SO much with the choices of others.
Yeah – don’t these people realize that families are diverse? You’ve got gay men, trans women, foster parents, adoptive parents, etc. Formula helps make a lot of those families possible! My mother works with a woman who rages against “lactivists” because one reduced her daughter to tears in the hospital for declining to initiate breastfeeding. This woman’s daughter has HIV. She endured 9 months of medications, monitoring, etc. and was celebrating being able to give birth to a child who is negative, and then she’s made to feel bad for declining to place her daughter further at risk? The consultant insisted that “as long as you take your meds, your baby is fine.” Which is simply not true. While the risk may be low, breast milk absolutely can transmit HIV, and most doctors will tell you that since we have formula and its safe, formula is simply the risk-free option. The consultant kept insisting that “Positive women in Africa do it.” Which, yes, they do – because they lack safe formula, and nursing is their only option. But this isn’t Africa. She just would not let up until Grandma basically pushed her out. Hospitals need a system where these people can be removed if they overstep their professional bounds.
Its funny to me to hear stories of people being shamed for formula feeding. My MIL and her mother both formula fed their kids. I was shamed by them for choosing to breast feed. Apparently my son’s colic was all my fault for breast feeding ( and before anyone jumps in with unsolicited advice – yes I did try an elimination diet and he was still colicky). And apparently despite the fact that he was born at the 50th percentile for weight and quickly grew into the 85th percentile in a matter of weeks I am “starving him”.
Just goes to show you in the mommy wars there is no way you can win.
Oh dear Lord they would not want to do that to me! My mom nearly died in childbirth and was forced to have a C-section and was not permitted to breastfeed due to the blood loss she suffered. If I heard one of these women shaming someone in that situation I would shame her right back LOUDLY making sure everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and stared. And I WOULD NOT STOP until I either got an apology or a retreat!
My parents gave me sh!t for breastfeeding, it was “weird” to them. I remember my dad saying, “when are you going to be done with that?” Um, when she is eating real food, dad. That’s what I should have said, I probably just rolled my eyes and am talking about it on the internet 7 years later, haha.
ITA, and it’s so pervasive now that the shaming slips right into people’s minds without them being aware of it. My Best friend just had a baby (my godson, he’s perfect and adorable and I love him. Don’t get me wrong), and she’ll be casually talking about babies and just slip the phrase “well, breast IS best,” into the conversation. And it makes me flinch internally. I’m thinking… No, my dearest, breast is best for YOU (and even she had some issues getting started), but that does NOT mean it’s best for everyone. It’s like those moms that think that they deserve a special seat at the better mom’s lunch table because they gave birth without using drugs. We have modern medicine for a reason, and it’s no shame to take advantage of it.
In the end I think it’s a lady thing. We’re conditioned all our lives that it has to be a competition, that were supposed to be pitted against each other or the universe is out of whack. We just need to take a look at that notion and realize that it’s full of crap, and all the shaming of any kind would start to improve.
I’ve been thinking a lot of this, and honestly – I hate that phrase, breast is best. Because, well, what is “best?” Are we solely talking about it from a physical health perspective? Or are we also factoring in things like quality of life, mental wellbeing, social wellbeing, etc.? For example, some women have issues with breastfeeding because they were sexually abused and they might have issues with allowing their breasts to be used in such a manner. For a lot of them, breastfeeding is a deeply traumatic, frightening, stressful experience that really hurts them mentally. So is breast really “best” for them – NO. It’s actively harming them. But those who use the “best” line do not think of every other measure of wellbeing outside of the simply physical. If they did, they’d realize that “best” is a highly subjective, multi-faceted thing that doesn’t lend itself to cute little slogans.
They’ve done some studies comparing siblings in which one was breast fed and one was not – and there’s not some great divide in the health or intelligence of the babies. The medical advantages of breast feeding for those in highly developed nations isn’t a huge thing – it’s not really significant.
I’m so sick of the breast is best thing. Here I am – formula fed, and a perfectly competent individual. Mental health and doing what you can do is best. It’s different for everyone.
You said it Erinn! The best research actually shows the benefits are only measurable THE FIRST YEAR OF LIFE! Well-done sibling studies showed that the huge differences in intelligence, obesity, etc that was attributed to breastfeeding were largely due to the fact that women who breastfeed tend to be healthier themselves, better off economically and most are university educated as well. Women who are plagued with health issues, who are very poor, who don’t have good family-support, etc. are much less likely to breastfeed. Big shocker their kids don’t do as well. Once they did studies that ONLY looked at sibling pairs (one sibling breastfed, one formula fed) suddenly all these magical advantages attributed to breastfeeding disappeared.
Don’t get me wrong, I think breastfeeding is wonderful and should be supported. BUT it seems instead of supporting breastfeeding mothers, society decided attacking formula feeders was the way to go. Let’s support moms in either feeding choice while making changes that support breastfeeding.
Man, the Mommy Mafia is out of control. If I was dealing with a newborn and some self righteous ass started lecturing me about how I was doing something, I would want to club them.
On the bright side, that baby is adorbs and I want to nibble on those cheeks.
This smacks to me of faux-outrage. Guess what? This person I’ve never heard of, I’ve now heard of. These celebrities share everything on social media and then generate a controversy over the inevitable trolling. She’s taking her cues from Chrissy Teigen…
Apart from the fact it’s been seen on her instagram. But sure…she’s making it all up just so you hear of her.
@Maria T. That’s what I was thinking. Most of the posts sounded more like helpful suggestions than “judgement”, but I get it that moms can get completely overwhelmed by all the “helpful suggestions”. But I can’t help but wondering, if you don’t want all the judgement and negative comments, why put every little thing out there on IG, where you invite strangers to comment on everything you post? I don’t get it.
I can’t say for sure if she is trolling or not, but I do know that mommy shaming is real. There’s nothing like being judge over EVERYTHING you do with your child the second you leave the house. Especially when you have had no sleep for weeks, are hormonal, emotional and terrified you won’t be a good mother because you have never done it before and have no mother or close family near you for support. Not to mention if you are still recovering from a cesarean, (which is a major operation that is not treated as such because of the insurance consequences) that the doctors told you would be best for you but was really just best for their schedule.
This situation feels familiar, so I tend to believe her and there were, apparently, nastier comments that couldn’t be accessed.
Sorry about all the venting, didn’t realize I had so much pent up Mummy shaming anger. LOL!
Sorry if I wasn’t clear, by “faux-outrage,” I meant that her outrage seems a little hard to believe, not the actual situation. People on the internet can be real jerks and anyone in the public eye who pretends to be surprised and outraged by whatever flavor of “jerkness” they see on their public social media accounts, is either really naive or looking for attention.
And as for “mommy-shaming,” I have 2 small children and wasn’t able to breastfeed and am a working mom, so I know mommy guilt. And am appalled by some of the things people (and my mother) think are appropriate to say to mothers (my mother lectured me the other day on the fact that my 3 year old wasn’t wearing pants in the house, whereas I was taking a win on the fact that he had undies on). Mommy-shaming isn’t new, it’s just that the internet makes it more noxious.
But some of the mommy shame stuff can be avoided by ignoring it and keeping your stuff off social media. OR, being real about the fact that, as a celebrity (however minor), you will always get nasty comments. That’s sort of how this whole things work. And maybe avoid mommy blogs. Those are TOXIC.
Yes @Decorative Item! Thank you for bringing up cesareans. My surgeons did a botched job on the stitching, the incision didn’t close for months so I was bleeding constantly and in so much pain, yet every a$$hole that came into my house decided to tell me how “lucky” I was to have had a c-section and not a “proper” birth. Like, seriously? Get back to me when someone has cut through your abdominal wall, you can’t sit up, sneeze, poop or do any form of exertion without feeling you’re going to burst your stitches and spill your guts on the floor AND you’re looking after a newborn. Grrrr. Unsolicited advice/opinions of childbirth/rearing are the WORST.
If people minded their own business and stopped being holier than thou, I guarantee you that you would have never heard about her because she would have never had to defend herself and the choices she makes for the kid that she popped out of her own vagina.
What a cute baby. I have mixed feelings about the baby food. I feel strongly that it’s nobody’s business, but at the same time, you’re going to be cooking for your child until they are old enough to do it themselves, so I don’t see why it’s a big deal to steam and purée some carrots. Ha! Just kidding, I wouldn’t know.
It’s one of those “you can’t win” situations– they say when carrots get old, the nitrates increase, and the little precut carrots are soaked in bleach, so unless you’re buying the organic whole carrots from the farmer, maybe you’re better off with the jarred anyhow. Jarred carrots are just carrots, no weird ingredients. And then, I fed my baby so many carrots she turned orange. So many ways to get it wrong!
True nobody needs to but those little carrots . I do buy big bags of whole organic carrots, they are actually widely available. And I buy organic baby food in jars. Doesn’t have the strange ingredients people mentioned
Soaked in bleach?!? Yikes!
hahaha GNAT
Kid 1, got an amazing array of fresh fruit and vegetable home made food
kid 2 got jarred food
kid 3….i don’t know…probably whatever the dog doesn’t finish from the garbage can (kidding!)
Solo true of our family, except in baby pictures! An album brimming, an album two thirds full, then four photos floating around the bottom of a drawer. Lol
I can’t imagine having kids nowadays, everyone is SO judgmental.
Also, that baby food she’s buying is Earth’s Best brand – organic, non-GMO, vegan, kosher, etc. It’s not like she had a package of Twinkies and a 6 pack of Mountain Dew for the baby.
That’s what I was thinking when I saw the photo. Of all the baby foods she could be buying, that is probably one of the best ones. I do make essentially all of my 7 month old’s food, but that’s because I live in Canada and have 1 year of paid maternity leave. I can’t even begin to imagine how mamas in the US do it. You can’t be and do all things all the time.
Your last sentence…An acquaintance on FB recently posted a pic of her 2YO drinking soda from a baby bottle. It was damn near impossible to bite my tongue on that one. What Jana’s doing and the brand she’s chosen seem perfectly reasonable to me.
Its like Leah from Teen Mom that has her kids eating cheetos of the floor and the baby drinking mountain dew from the bottle and frosting from the can. That drives me crazy but again not my business. Jana is buying jar food…I’m sure her baby will live
Goats, I can relate so much! I once had a friend “brag” that her kids were “advanced” in learning how to drink from a straw early because of all the fast food they get, and they wanted to drink from the straw before they made it home for her to put the soda in a sippee cup. So yeah, it’s hard to keep your mouth shut sometimes.
I taught kindergarten in an area where it was the norm to put a baby to sleep with a “sugar tit”. That is a conical piece of fabric filled with sugar then dipped in milk! Of course the babies were quiet and happy! Learning about this finally gave me the answer as to why so many of my students had cavities and caps. They went to the charity provided dentist, and their little front teeth were capped with what looked like steel. Many of the kids who didn’t have caps had their two front teeth rotted away in an upside down V from falling asleep with that sugar tit in their mouths. Of course as the child grew older they graduated to Coke in a sippy cup.
@Alex but she makes sure they eat frosting from a can at the table! She is classy that way.
Maybe some of the comments were bad, but je ones above seem fine? More helpfull than judgemental.
But where did she ask for help? She didn’t. She was excited about a new step, snapped a pic, and was then told how she could do better. That’s quite judgy.
Say you are 20 pounds overweight for reasons that are currently out of your control (undiagnosed thyroid problem, chrohns disease, etc.). Would it be “okay” for not just one but many random strangers to leave comments on your selfie that you’d be healthier and live a longer life if you exercised or changed your diet?
Ugh I hate the tone of those comments. Oh, those “pesky” preservatives. Get. Out. I will see you your fake helpfulness and chipper attitude and invite you to cheerfully eff right off. Here’s a novel notion: don’t offer unsolicited advice. It’s rude.
So rude, and even more annoying when done in a bright and fake sweet voice.
This! All this mommy crap done in the name of ‘helping’ when it is really judgmental & shaming. I love how others ‘help’ by saying how proud they are of what they did, their sister, mother, etc. that you are not doing. “I grew & cooked all my own baby food and so did my mom!” Great- now eff off to skip in your garden please. I guess home grown veggies does not grow being humble or polite.
The worst is when they say “because I care about your baby”. I heard that once because I was feeding my 1-yr-old a piece of ham. smh.
Exactly so! The “helpful” judger is trying to insulate themselves from criticism for their own rudeness. I don’t remember who said it (some psychologist) but effectively “No one appreciates unsolicited advice.” It’s a fairly simple tenet to incorporate into your life. And the freedom! You can relieve yourself of being in charge of other people who won’t listen to you anyway!
SO agree with all these comments. When you say, “it’s easy to steam veggies for baby while you cook :)” what you’re REALLY saying is, “I don’t agree with your decision to buy food instead of make it and I’m going to shame you by talking about how easy making your own food would be but i’ll put a smiley face so that it doesn’t LOOK like judgmental shaming.”
Mommy shqming is the worst. And it is really out of control, judgi g from those instagram comments even people who do not have childeren feel like they can give advice. And this si such bullshit anyway, you won’t teach such small baby to eat healthy. I used to breastfeed and prepare solids from scratch (in part because I could not find anything jarred he would eat) and now that he learned words like pasta and ice cream that is all he wants all day. The vegetables that you prepare from scratch to the baby does not form a habit of wanting to eat “health” later in life
Mommy advice is like diets, it’s not a one size fits all routine. Let people do what works for them and their families.
People tend to forget that a lot of them were raised on much more precarious measures and besides being brown nosers, they turned out fine 😉
Both my husband and I were formula fed. We’re perfectly productive, intelligent members of society. But with the kind of shaming that people get, you’d think we were slack jawed yokels eating three day old road kill off the side of the road.
Ha! Oh the visuals, Erinn!
My sister and I were bottle fed. We’re intelligent and well-adjusted individuals. I don’t think I was screwed out of not getting breastfed.
Eh, why are moms in particular so sensitive about getting good advice? I wonder if dads would have the same persecuted reactions that moms seem to all the time in response to tips, condescendingly delivered or not. Maybe they’d be ten times worse, just testing a theory.
If I learned something that could benefit my baby (avoid preservatives), I’d do it if possible and not give a flying fig if the messenger happened to be annoying or not. I certainly wouldn’t dig in just because I don’t like criticism.
Hahahaha! Good one! Oh, you’re serious.
+1
Enjoy getting run over by all the unsolicited “good advice,” Celebwatch. You know what I do with those drive-by know-it-alls? Exactly what one should do: ignore.
Moms are the ones getting most of the advice, not dads. New moms have undergone one of the biggest changes in their lives and are now responsible for taking care of little person on top of recovering from childbirth and pregnancy, they need support not unsolicited advice. Plus, I think a lot if not most mom’s know that “preservatives are bad” and “breast if best” but make the best decisions for themselves and their family.
I never hear this type of advice given to men. Ever. When they don’t know how to make dinner, it’s considered adorable.
“Oh, you change diapers?! Good for you!!!” etc, etc…
Presumably, most mothers research what to feed their children before they give birth. This is a 32 year old successful woman with plenty of resources–I’m sure she knows what to feed her kid. Besides, I think the “no preservatives” thing is pretty much common knowledge at this point. Is the shaming really necessary?
People need to mind their own effin business. Also, this is why I don’t share anything on social media. Too many Judgy McJudgersons out there.
It’s always funny how vocal people are about what people are feeding their kids … but somehow it’s ‘not their business’ when it comes to reporting real abuse. If only they could use that energy to actually do something helpful.
Exactly, Erinn. There are a lot of children in need these people could actually be worrying about.
If you’re worried about other people’s children not eating healthily enough, go donate some food, money, or time to your local food bank. Start a community garden. Lead a kids’ exercise event in the park.
Celebwatch I like the way you think. I agree with you. But logic and reasoning are out of fashion here. It’s all about the emotions.
Your logic and reasoning say that people – pretty much women – should graciously accept every noodle stranger’s “good advice”? Logic fail. Half the unsolicited crap I’ve heard as is demonstrably false.
Oh. Come. On. I’m almost 60 years old, and I have never, not once, not ever, met a person who just looooves unsolicited advice and shaming by big nosy know-it-alls. Who welcomes total strangers telling them what and how to feed their baby, who assume you know nothing and they know everything even though they don’t know one thing about you. Who have that bright, cheery air with juuust a touch of condescension and slight disapproval and superiority. Let’s talk after the third person in grocery store implies that you’re a bad mother. You are delusional if you think you’d just “welcome the advice.” When you’re exhausted, unsure and stressed, too. Oh, sorry, I forgot. You have no emotions, just logic. Right.
the other day I was accosted by a lady in an upscale market. She said that the milk in my cart was going to give me cancer. “Thanks Dr. Oz” I said.
She said “I have a PhD in nutrition,” whipped out her phone to show me the ‘facts’ (from some rando website) and told me ‘Good luck when the cancer comes.’ Can we just agree that no one really agrees what’s healthy, and agree to disagree?
Let me guess…you think you’re being helpful. You’re not. Save your advice for people who ask for it.
Exactly. Unsolicited advice is obnoxious.
People need to mind their own business.
Okay- I am going to assume you are not a mother or a recent mother. I am glad you posted so you can (hopefully) hear from others & learn why it is damaging.
First- fathers don’t hear all this crap. They may hear some but nothing compares to what a woman hear while pregnant or holding a baby. It’s our sexist society.
Second- “helpful” advice can be anything & if you listened & ‘took’ in the advice your head would pop. Don’t circumcise, do circumcise, don’t work, do work, don’t let your baby sleep with you, do sleep training, on & on & on…..It’s not helpful for people to come & tell you that they agree with the other side of what you are doing.
Third- you obviously don’t understand that constant shame moms get. People feel the right to come up to pregnant women & ask what they are eating——to then comment. It’s like you are on display for everyone to talk about, talk to & be really f-ing rude. People feel like they can tell you any number of things that are their “pearls of wisdom” and you are expected to sit there & listen with a smile. Strangers that stop you to tell you what you are doing wrong or what they did. It’s annoying but it’s more damaging then that. It’s assuming that mothers don’t know what they are doing. That I am a hapless mother just needing your help. Nope- I am trying to get milk & get out of the store. Woman do not need to run around society and have people stop us in our tracks to tell us what we should or shouldn’t do, wear, say or act. The fact that I have a baby in my arms does not make this sexist advice ‘helpful’. I read books, I have a pediatrician, I have family members & friends, I have google and I know my family & my baby way better then you. I hope you learned why ‘helpful’ advice is condescending & why it’s not mothers fault that we are offended. It is offensive, hence why we are offended.
AMEN!
That baby is adorable!
My boss had a baby about 1.5 years ago and told me that she had to come back to work after one year because that one year was filled with so much judgment from other moms that she nearly lost it. Especially when it came to baby food. Apparently jarred baby food can actually be of much higher quality than whatever you preprare yourself because a) these companies have the equipment and technique to prepare fruits/veggies in a way that preserves as many nutrients as possible and b) there are riciulously high standards of hygiene.
I still wouldn’t judge moms who prepare it all themselves. But I who has the time??? The kid will be fine either way.
Right??! Some people would love to have such problems: we have too many options when it comes to food!!! Not that we need to sift through the garbage for the least rotten piece of refuse, or fight gangs of people for the last loaf of stale bread, it’s that we are inundated with several hundred options to nourish our offspring…
People need to get a grip, it’s not like she’s feeding burgers and fries. I made my own food largely because my son didn’t like the jars. Except for the apple sauce, and hey I was glad not to have to peel apples and steam and puree them on top of everything else!
Plus: Just wait what your precious, home-cooked-meal-fed kids eat when they reach their teens. Makes you wonder why exactly you took all the trouble and didn’t really start out with burgers and fries in the first place …
For a while I was driving 90+ minutes to get my older kid’s baby food from a store I loved in CT, though I stopped that pretty quickly. Now that she’s in middle school, I fight with her to take vitamin supplements because her food groups are burgers, pizza, garlic knots, and fries. And I battle with her about putting salt on the fries.
I wonder why people say pizza is unhealthy? I mean it might not be the best, but it sure can’t be the worst thing a kid can eat.
I don’t get that either. If you make it from scratch and don’t overdo the cheese, it is pretty healthy. And it’s not even that much work.
Not the worst, but not the best. Very oily, and too much cheese. I’m like, sushi! Let’s go for Indian! Nope…. pizza and burgers.
As the mother of 2 tweens who had to return to work within 8 weeks (elder) and 6 weeks (younger), I couldn’t believe the amount of comments I got. Going back to work (are you paying our bills?) when they were so young, feeding formula (how do you know my situation and why is it your business?), jarred baby food, etc. Both kids are ridiculously healthy with nearly perfect attendance, good grades, and play on sports teams. They weren’t affected by drinking formula or whatever. People will comment on those things, but feel they should stay out of it when they witness actual abuse because they’re afraid to intervene. Just more fun to judge, I guess. When have we moved so far from the feminist movement, where we can attack women for not wanting to stare endlessly at a sleeping child or not steaming and pureeing baby food? This lady’s response was on point.
I totally was that lady who nursed for three years and made my kids’ baby food. But I have 0 judgement for how any one person decides to feed/raise their children, provided it’s not truly detrimental, obviously.
I’m far more concerned that we stop raising entitled pricks than I am about whether the baby food comes from Gerber or my garden.
And that’s the point. If everyone is okay, then why judge? ITA with everything you said, particularly the entitled pricks part. 🙂
Absolutely agree on your comments re entitled pricks. Also, children are more resilient than they are given credit for – my husband was raised in Romanian slums and literally eat out of bins until he was adopted to New Zealand at age 7. Now a PE teacher, avid cricketer and healthy as a horse. Queue inevitable pearl clutching!
And that’s the thing – it’s like people forget that kids survive on much worse and some thrive. I mean – you probably shouldn’t be feeding your kids super processed foods and stuff like that – but it’s all about moderation and healthy practices. Keep them moving, keep them making smart decisions. If you’re teaching them good healthy lifelong habits, then feeding them something others deem ‘unworthy’ for a few months or a year or two of their lives really isn’t going to affect them much.
I largely made my own baby food, but that was because my kids really seem to hate, hate, hate the bland, insipid stuff from the jar. And boy, it is bland. They really, from the beginning, seemed to crave more, uh, flavorful things. Truly, they are their father’s children.
That being said, it is work. Not a ton of work, but it’s still work. This woman tours, she records, etc. Maybe she doesn’t have time. And why no mention of her, uh, husband? Does he not have hands with which to work at this too? That’s my biggest issue with mom-shaming – isn’t the shame also on the father? But that almost never comes up.
And God forbid if you do make your own food but use conventionally grown fruits and veggies to do it.
Ahhh, the mommy mafia. Well, when I had my first, they didn’t have an official name but they were definitely out there. Of course being 17 and in high school comes with it’s own set of horrifying things but then add those cows to it? That was fun. Even 23 years ago, the breastfeeding issue was out of control. I got asked by the nurses if I was going to, I said no because I was going back to school and wouldn’t be home. Apparently they figured I would pump in the morning, at school, feed her when I got home and then pump at night. (Right, this for a kid who took at 16 oz bottle her first feeding.) My neighbour figured I should be making all of her food and not going to school as I had bigger responsibilities now. Yeah, heaven forbid I would want to graduate, go to college, have a career with which to care for this person. I thank my parents and her other grandparents for their help so that I could finish school which was, to everyone who mattered to me, the most important thing. She was well loved, well cared for, ate formula and food from a jar and is now a successful business owner and fitness competitor. Suck it mommy mafia. Go Jana!
Mommy mafia, LOL. That’s a new one and I like it.
Her daughter looks happy & healthy, and that’s the only thing that matters. Judgy moms really are the worst. 🙄
I don’t know who she is but why do people pay any mind to idiots (and complete strangers) on social media telling them how to raise their babies or live their lives? If some stranger came up to me in a store telling me how to breastfeed, I’d tell them to eff themselves.
The baby is cute. And she is right, mommy shaming is ridiculous and people need to stop. Unless a kid is in danger, just stop.
I’m a little surprised that the article didn’t mention that Jamie Lynn Spears co-wrote “I Got the Boy”.
My baby is 7 months old and breastfed so far because it is working for us. I’m trying to make it to 12 months. I feed him Gerber with no shame. I tried making food for my 3 year old and couldn’t get the chunks out. I’m more afraid of the baby choking than eating jarred food.
With my 12 and 13 year old I had to go back to work full time at 12 weeks. A woman at work told me to just purée whatever the rest of the family was eating for them. I informed her that frozen pizza doesn’t make a good purée. People so need to reinforce their belief that they’re making the best choices. Whatever.
I laughed at the puree frozen pizza. My kids would have loved it. Congrats on the new little one!
Oh goodness. I made my own baby food because I enjoyed it and it was cheaper. Then I was criticized by some sanctimommies for not doing baby led weaning. I’m really surprised none of her commenters mentioned that too.
THIS! You enjoyed doing it!
I did not. I hate doing much in the kitchen TBH. So I bought the jars. But if it was something I enjoyed I probably would have been all over it.
There is not a much worse kind of person to be in the world than a mommy shamer. I feel there should be a different name for them because the current one doesn’t show what a self-righteous, busy body type of clueless jerk they can really be. You do not know what someone has gone through until you have walked in their shoes. How dare you tell a person how to raise a child! I feel most of these women are full time/ only moms. I don’t think they do anything else in the world and they want to win the mom game! F off I say. Moms and women in general need to learn how to simply support one another.
The term I’ve heard most often and is apropos is sanctimommies.
Aha, sanctimommies! That’s great. I like mommy mafia too.
I started the post with WHOOOOO
Then ended with F*ck Yeah Country Lady, you Tell em!……The Mommy sisterhood of the Traveling Oneupsmen make me F*cking sick with the bs litmus tests they stay passing on their constituency, like having to have a kid isnt hard and excruciating (LOL sorry as a non mom That’s all I think about when I see kids, all the Unpleasant sticky vomitey poopy cranky not sleeping through the night expensive tasking tantrumy hard to explain things to hateful morose teens non nice adult long ass life experience of being a parent!! LOLOL!) enough we have to make it glowing sexy carefree organic free range prestigious cool but firm too or else you aren’t a proper mommy. We can’t win with dudes and have a united front for the real important things cause we do this to ourselves as a whole, behind the absolute pettiest arbitrary fads
Amen!
oh oh oh…
can i getta…
everyday proud of my life-choice not to go there.
I was so excited to buy the little jars. And then I started seeing all the shaming everywhere and how I should “do it myself”. Well I don’t even like to cook for myself so I sure as heck wasn’t going to start steaming and pureeing while sleep deprived. But I always felt guilty buying the jars and it sucked all the fun out of it.
There is also a lot of guilt around crying it out. Everyone in the house including baby was miserable and we did it for a few nights and now my kids are champion sleepers*. No signs of psychological damage.
*Some babies cry so hard they vomit. Probably not candidates for cry it out. Everyone needs to know their baby.
The “controlled crying it out” efforts in our house were as hard on me as the children ( I cried and cried). Horrible. Needless to say I failed with flying colors. lol.
at least you tried…still working up the nerve. :-/ I keep hoping my darling will magically morph into a perfect sleeper.
@megs283
IDK. I think if I could hop in a time machine, I’d just tell myself that it is temporary. Night nursing, wet diapers, teething on & off, ear infections ( I nursed her for over two years, her twin brothers only a fraction of that), then scary dreams, then toddler nightmares & colds… it just happens. They are tiny people who just need you so deeply.
Now that they are approaching adulthood, I so pine for those days of holding them till they fell asleep in my arms in the recliner in their rooms, and waking at night to find they had crawled into bed next to me for comfort in the middle of the night. God, it just goes by in the blink of an eye- eldest going to college in under three months, and the twins are sophomores in high school. I miss it all so much.
Just try to breathe & get through the days when they need you so much. It is over before you know it. 😢
OH, SORRY!!! That’s unsolicited advice 😂😂😂😂
I was formula fed (probably like a lot of 30-something judgy moms) and I can read, write, hold down a job and even raise a kid!
I don’t understand how people think even unwarranted good advice is acceptable. If i didn’t ask you to share your so called awesome advice, even if it IS actually good, what makes you think it’s okay? Unless she asked what she should be doing/feeding her baby, there’s no reason to mention it.
All these holier than thou stay at home moms think every mother should breastfeed on demand, cloth diaper and make all her baby’s food. Unfortunately some of us cannot or just don’t want to breastfeed, don’t have the time to sit there and steam and puree veggies and don’t have a washer/dryer at the ready to cloth diaper. And even if we have all the time and necessities to do these things, it doesn’t mean we HAVE to. Everyone is entitled to live their lives the way they see fit. I couldn’t breastfeed because I was on anxiety medication and heart medication since I nearly died delivering my daughter. She was formula fed, ate jarred food from FOUR months andddddddd wore off brand babies r us diapers. She’s in the top percentile for her age.
JFC. There’s this little game called ‘mind ya’, some of these moms should look in to it.
I have some advice for new mommies/mommies of the very young:
Do whatever you need to do to make life easier so you can enjoy your baby (-ies)! The sanctimommies can stuff it.
Signed,
The year I had three under three (& all the years that followed)
Yep. I always give one piece of advice to new mom’s…
Don’t listen to any of the advice you get, wanted or unwanted.
Three under three… *phew* **hi5**
God, people are so f–king sanctimonious. It is possible to buy baby food that is organic and essentially homemade, isn’t that what she’s buying? Who cares whether she jarred it herself? Is every mother supposed to be Diane Keaton in Baby Boom?
People would do well to remind themselves that unless asked for, most advice is not wanted nor welcome. If she asked about organic v. store-bought, it would be different, but she didn’t ask. A person might think they are well-meaning and just giving friendly advice, but most often, no advice is warranted and the person giving it is delving into superiority territory. I get it though, that people/celebs who put themselves and their lives on social media are opening themselves up to unsolicited advice. It’s pretty much unavoidable.
**People would do well to remind themselves that unless asked for, most advice is not wanted nor welcome.**
This. So this, celebrity or not. I was feeding my baby by bottle at the mall once and a total stranger asked me if it was breast milk in the bottle. It wasnt, and I had just guiltily resorted to formula after 9 weeks of doing a terrible job making enough milk for my baby with my breasts. Already felt like a failure, and then these strangers, with their not helpful questions and comments! Sorry, hit a nerve.
Elleno: you did NOT do a terrible job at all. Even under the best circumstances, breastfeeding is one of the toughest things in the world and the fact that you did it for 9 weeks is AWESOME. I totally understand where you’re coming from because I gave up breastfeeding after 5 months, and most of my friends did it for a year. I struggled the entire time to keep up my supply and it just stopped being worth it once I returned to work. You did the best you could and that’s all that matters. And 9 weeks is not an insignificant amount of time at all.
It infuriates me that other people think something so personal and complex as breastfeeding is their business.
Loathe her music, it’s so annoying BUT I like her stance here.
I may be in my early twenties, but I don’t plan to ever have kids….mommyshamers are just others moms. It’s a population I’m thrilled not to join, and I’m even more thrilled I see girls my age and younger not afraid to say ‘no thanks!’ – a lot of pearl clutching going on from the mommies over 35 at our responses.
I agree, no kids…no thanks !
Also, there’s such a classist element to this. What about the poor moms who can’t afford Earth’s Best or working moms who can’t make baby food from scratch? Parents (not just moms anymore, I hope) do the best they can with what they have, and people should mind their own effing business.
Completely agree. Many people have a hard time putting food on the table at all , and just have to do the best they can.
Most of us had baby food in a jar and we turned out just fine. Maybe those moms should worry more about exposing their children to wi-fi signals, second hand smoke, etc. instead.
I didnt read all the comments above, but … she appears to have married her twin brother!!
And their cute baby looks just like BOTH of them!
Bizarre.
Why are people such assholes when it comes to babies? Different things work for different families. And it’s actually very easy to determine what’s in pre-packaged baby food by looking at the ingredient list. There are some great companies (Happy Baby, Plum Organics) that offer organic, all natural packaged baby food that is preservative-free and not processed any differently than if you stuck it in a blender yourself. The ingredient list contains nothing but fruits, vegetables, and sometimes whole grains.
I cook food for my kid, but also give her the store-bought stuff when I’m short on time or we’re out and about. As a working mom, I appreciate having that option.
Because it’s become the newest way for some women to one-up. And it doesn’t stop with babies. I don’t do social media because all I see are people (women/moms) bragging up their kids and family. I know everybody is proud of their kids’ accomplishments or just their kids in general but I know these families and when you see someone purposely only putting out there the good stuff and not talking about the bad, it soon becomes an obvious tool to paint themselves, their kids, their families as better than they actually are. I’m not saying my family is oh so great or that their’s is oh so bad. I’m saying the amount of effort involved in the wording and once in a blue moon things twisted to look like their everyday life…..sorry, but I find it ‘untruthful’? I don’t expect people to put the bad stuff on the FB pages, in fact I loathe the airing of dirty laundry on social media, but at the same time, I find the boasting yawn-worthy. I guess there’s no pleasing me.
All I can say is, for young moms/new moms, prepare yourselves, especially if you have boys. The pecking order is brutal! I refuse to partake.
Those moms should just STFU because they’re wrong, baby led weaning is where it’s at. Kids get to work on their fine motor coordination and there’s the added aspect of sensory integration.
Just kidding.
Jarred baby food is one of the best inventions of all time. 😁 I fed them from jars, from homemade puréed food, food straight from my plate. They’re all….fed. There’s bigger problems in the world than what she’s feeding her baby. That baby is clean, healthy, and loved. No worries here.
It’s always interesting what people will say or do. When my daughter was 4 and my son was 1 we were grocery shopping . Now my kids don’t look much alike, she dark haired olive skinned, he red-haired and pale; a lady comes up and says oh my…that’s Susie’s grandbaby! Looks just like her! She then looked at my son and said he doesn’t resemble her at all…do they have different fathers? I was like whaa?? in my head . But I just leaned over and whispered quietly “well, we used to have a red-haired employee…but we don’t talk about it”. I smiled and walked away. I called my MIL when I got home to tell her she’d be getting a call. She laughed about it. Honestly, people are stupidly clueless.
As a mom of a 9 month old, I do not have time to shower or shave, feed myself, let alone grow-prepair- and cook-and then store my babies food?!?! Good God people are mad. We eat healthy and workout as a family. We buy organic baby food with no fillers. As long as you don’t shovel loads of sugar down your babies mouth, things will be A-okay! People are crazy. Do what works for you and your family. I personally don’t have time for that(as I sit here in yesterday pj’s, hair a mess, at Noon, finally getting a chance to drink my morning coffee and haven’t even had time for my own breakfast yet!!!!)
Amen! Sing it, girl! All the same here! Except my daughter is 2 and a half and ever since she was born I consider the day a total success if she’s doing well, I get to shower – AND – shave at least the bottom half of my legs!!! If I get work done and the such then BONUS victories!!!
I don’t have kids so all I can add to this conversation is – that is one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen!
That baby is ADORBS.
Moms today just cannot win, can they? Those who think she’s failing because she bought baby food from a grocery store are sad women who have no interest other than tearing down other moms to make themselves feel morally superior.
Sanctimommies are my biggest pet peeve. I was WAY too tired from working full-time and raising an infant and a teenager to make my own baby food. I mean, if it works for some moms that’s great, but it’s not for everyone. Geez. I wasn’t breastfed, I got regular baby food from jars and baloney sandwiches and non-organic *everything*. It’s amazing I’ve lived this long LOL I do what I can when I can for my kids’ health of course, and sometimes I do go that extra mile (I actually do buy quite a bit of organic myself, and my mom laughs at me for it). But really, the endgame imo is love and spending time with them, not how much time you spent pureeing beets.
It really does come down to this: some women like to tear a woman down when she’s at her most vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, I was elated to have all three of my babies, but it takes a toll. I was emotional, going from laughing to crying in 30 seconds, back to being so happy I started crying again. I thought I could do the mother thing and then worried how. I was exhausted and breastfeeding is hard! I was lucky that it worked for us, but I sure as hell won’t judge a woman that can’t, or won’t for that matter. Just love your baby. I hemorrhaged having my youngest and it took me months(!) to start feeling human again. Thanks only to modern medicine, I lived. Every single thing became minor after that. I was lucky that no one said anything to me. I would have either started crying or stomped on them. I just wish people would be nice. You really have no idea what someone else is going through.
You can have the happiest, healthiest, smartest 6 month old on the planet and someone will give you shit as to why you haven’t yet enrolled your baby in MENSA training.
Can’t do a damn thing right as a mom these days, according to these mommy shaming whackadoodles.
It’s so ridiculous. I just did what I knew was best for my daughter and told everyone else to go fly a kite. Never lost a moment of sleep over it and neither did she 🙂
Quite a bit of jarred baby food is really nothign different than what you would prepare yourself from scratch– JUST fruit, vegetable, water, cooked and in a jar. Since its a lot of time and prep to do it yourself ALL the time, thees no shame in letting the shelved stuff take over for a while. Some moms want to do it full time, well ok then. Not everyone is sanctimonious and holier than thou about their choices…. sure fresh is better but lets be realistic, not everyone wants to do this or even can– and if the food is pure enough, probably dont even need to …
Daddy is good looking and tall! sorry, couldn’t help myself.