Gwyneth Paltrow: young girls are being brainwashed by ‘post-feminist imagery’


Here are some photos of Gwyneth Paltrow in London on Thursday, June 23rd. I’m going to be really nice to Gwyneth in just a moment, but I need to get some residual negativity out, because… it’s Goop, and it’s a habit at this point. This Gucci suit is TERRIBLE. It’s easily one of the worst things she’s worn in a few years now. The color is awful (she looks like an uncomfortable tomato), the pants are weird in the hips, and that jacket is simply the worst. The ruffles on the cuffs and pockets, the placement of the buttons, the fit, everything is hideous. This suit needs to be burned in a cleansing fire.

Now, to be nice. In these photos, Goop was either in her way into or out of a speech at the China Exchange, a ritzy venue in London’s Chinatown where speeches are made, Q&A sessions held, etc. Gwyneth was there to talk about Gooping, her life, her family and more. In the speech, she talked about her 12-year-old daughter, Apple, and this was probably Gwyneth at her most relatable. She talked about her conflicting emotions and instincts as she sees her daughter grow up in a world with “post-feminist imagery.”

Her lifestyle blog sees her dishing out advice on everything from diets to parenting. But Gwyneth Paltrow has revealed she is struggling with one problem just like any other mother – how to manage her daughter as she approaches adolescence.

The actress, 43, said she finds it hard to strike a balance between wanting to allow 12-year-old Apple to ‘express herself’, and feeling worried about her child wearing short skirts and make-up. She added that she is concerned young girls are being brainwashed by ‘post-feminist imagery’ that portrays provocative behaviour as empowerment.

Speaking at the China Exchange in London on Thursday, she said: ‘It is concerning because I think there is a very denigrating set of imagery and behaviours happening. Women are so powerful and so capable and to have it inferred that you have to generate yourself in any way to be likeable is abhorrent to me. With my daughter I try to find a balance of being an example for her as a woman who … works and tries not to go out in public naked. I am her mum but at the same time I want her to express herself. Sometimes it is hard when she is wearing something really, really short and a lot of make-up and I have to resist the instinct as I want her to experiment and find her own identity. It is an interesting balance right now being a mother of a coming-of-age girl as there are a lot of conflicting messages in our culture.’

[From The Daily Mail]

See, this sounds completely relatable – mothers want their daughters to find their own identities and have the freedom to experiment and make mistakes, but you also want your little girl to not feel like she has to walk around half-naked to feel “empowered,” or that the only way to achieve power or success is through one’s body. It’s finding the balance between telling your 12-year-old that she’s not leaving the house in that miniskirt and teaching your 12-year-old that it’s her body and no one else owns it, controls it or can tell her what to do with it. There’s no real answer, and I think Gwyneth knows that. It’s part of a life-long conversation for girls and women, obviously. But I do appreciate how honest Gwyneth is about it.



Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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92 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: young girls are being brainwashed by ‘post-feminist imagery’”

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  1. Kitten says:

    She sounds like most moms I know.

    Ok now that I got that out of the way, can we talk about her hair?
    When I was barely 14 I started ironing my hair. Literally, using an iron. Yes I know that is moronic but at the time the only place you could buy a flat iron was at a beauty supply store and there weren’t any near my small town. My mom eventually followed the smell of burnt hair to my bedroom and confiscated the iron I had stolen from her without permission. She ruined my life, basically. Or so thought my naturally-curly dramatic 9th grade self.

    Anyway, my hair looked EXACTLY like Goop’s: middle part, bone straight, with dry tapered ends. Awful.

    • Denise says:

      Smart moms.

    • Javagirl1 says:

      Hahahaha kitten. All I could look at too was the bad hair throughout this post.

      She wants Apple to do well I’m sure…most mothers want that for their kids. But she named her kid Apple!!

    • minx says:

      I color my hair with Loreal once a month, it’s about her same color, and I get it trimmed at Great Clips every so often. And my hair looks better than hers, or at least no worse for a fraction of what she spends, I’m sure.
      And that outfit…there are no words.

      • AnnaKist says:

        One of my friends at work does exactly the same, minx. Hers is also about the same colour. It was more than three years after she started working with us that I learned she’s not even a blonde! Yet her hair is always glossy, soft and very healthy-looking. I can’t believe GP bangs on about being, feeling, looking healthy, and touts so many expensive products, yet goes to, and is photographed at, events with her hair looking like that of a grotty teenager ho hasn’t washed it in weeks. Perhaps she’s doing the natural hair care regime, as am I. My hair is soft and healthy, though. At the very least she definitely needs a conditioner and regular trims. To be honest, it’s time for her to lose the yellow straw curtains.

    • Ann says:

      Why?!? Curly hair is THE best. THE most beautiful. I can’t stand flat ironed hair.

      • Lady D says:

        Dove has a new campaign to encourage women to stop hiding and start showing their curls. I think it’s a great idea. Curls are so pretty. (I say that not having to deal with them).
        I’ve read stories where women have to hide their curls to be taken seriously at work. That has got to be infuriating.
        And ya, Gwyneth’s hair badly needs to be cut.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        The Dove ad with the curly haired little girls made me cry.

      • Kitten says:

        Well now I appreciate the natural texture that my hair has but this was ’93-’94 grunge-era where pin straight hair was the rage 😉

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I tried the real iron and the ironing board just once in middle school. My curly hair just poofed and did not straighten. I was so disappointed!

      I feel so conflicted and confused about the subject that Gwen brings up. On one hand, I think women of all ages should wear what makes them feel good. We all have different strengths, and if a female feels her physical self is one of her strengths, why shouldn’t she celebrate it?

      On the other hand, beauty is fleeting and is constantly evolving as our bodies and ideals change. Putting too much stock in physical beauty not only undermines a woman’s many other strengths and value, but it sets up goals that are just going to cause hurt and possibly a crisis of self in the future.

      The only thing that makes sense to me right now, is making it “Beauty and….”. Yes, I look great in this skirt and I kicked ass on my calculus test. Yes, I am rocking a bikini and I just got accepted into my first choice college, volunteered with this charity, etc. I worry less if young women balance the photos celebrating their physical attributes with posts that celebrate their strengths as people too. It isn’t pearl clutching so much because saucy photos undermine culture or anything, it is that I just really worry when we treat young women like pretty, disposable objects that decorate our world and nothing more. Sometimes I don’t think they realize it when it is happening.

      • Kitten says:

        Yes I agree so much with what you said about emphasizing the importance of things OUTSIDE of physical aesthetics.

        Like, great to look pretty and have confidence in your appearance but important to stress that you are MORE than just that. That’s why I think it’s an imperative to have outside interests and hobbies–because it allows young women to see themselves as something outside of just their image.

        At the same time, sometimes I wonder if we over-think these things.

        In high school I was an introverted, makeup-less slightly-chubby art geek who then became a hot, skinny blonde in college. In my twenties I dressed in low-cut shirts, short skirts, got an insane amount of attention from men, and probably spent too much time putting on makeup, staring in the mirror, and obsessing over my appearance. Then around 30 I just stopped caring about all that superficial, vapid crap and went back to working on myself as a person.

        Now, looking back at my twenty-something self feels like looking back at a stranger.

        All that is to say that as children, our parents give us the security and foundation we need to become fully-formed adults. Along the way, life and other external forces both guide us and challenge us to get there.
        Maybe every young woman just needs to have that phase where we discover the power of our sexuality in order to get to that place of understanding that it doesn’t define us.

        Of course, I recognize that my comment might simply be the hopeful and overly-optimistic musings of a child-free person. And it’s not to say that I don’t see the complexity and difficulty of a parent navigating through the current age of selfies, social media, and the sexualization of young women—I think that would be terrifying on every level.
        But it’s just to say that emotional growth, self-awareness, self-worth and a recognition that looks are fleeting often go hand-in-hand with maturity and adulthood.

        In the interim, I think parents should just stay involved, engaged and supportive. I also liked what Aang said downthread about her husband not policing her daughter’s outfits. My dad never did and I am thankful for that.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        You are so wise, Kitten. Seriously.

        Our paths sound very similar. I was “cute” in high school (was always trying to have my brain valued, but was treated like a dancing monkey). When I got to college and physically things evolved from cute to sexy and suddenly I had this power that I regularly flaunted. Then a little later I realized I was happier not focusing on my appearance so much and went back to focusing on my brain.

        I think you are right. I have to believe that people will find the right path on their own, even if they take a detour at some point. Parenting so much more than social norms will lead young women to understand that worth is more about substance than packaging. Your comment and wisdom have seriously made me feel better about this issue. 🙂

  2. meme says:

    I agree with her. Dressing like a streetwalker and/or walking around half naked is not “empowering.”

    • Cynthia says:

      @meme ” This” No matter how they try to sell it to us. Showing your ass to the world has nothing to do with empowering, just tells us you love attention

      • phonetics says:

        Um, or you just find it comfortable, like the way it looks, and don’t give a crap what prudish people (like you) think!

      • Locke Lamora says:

        @Phonetics, I agree. There are a few places where being more covered up is needed, but other than that, people could walk naked as far as I’m concerned. And it can be both empowering and attention seeking. We live in a society that still values a woman’s body above all else, so I’m not going to judge women who use it to their advantage.

        I personally dress quite conservatively, but Idon’t think that somehow makes me better than others.

        Also, did she say her 12yold wears a lot of makeup?!? Now that’s wrong.

      • Cynthia says:


        Am referring to people that do it specifically for attention and shock value then turn around and say is empowering.

        Let me give you a perfect example, Nickiminaj in her Anaconda video. That was done for attention and then she turns around and say is feminism and empowering.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        There are plenty of outfits are comfortable and make me “look good”, but I wouldn’t wear it if it’s drawing the wrong kind of attention. I’ll wear whatever I want at home but I prefer a bit of class and pride when out and about v. getting a cheap thrill when some knob hoots and hollars.

        Girls need to be taught some class and pride v. seeking an ego boost from randoms. If I had a 12 year old daughter, I would have no problem not allowing her to wear short shorts and such. Most of the girls I see wearing that stuff are actually uncomfortable and regret their choice once it’s no longer just htem standing in front of mirror posing. Once they’re out in the real world, It just makes them feel trashy and embarrassed. Parents should guide – even dictate – what their 12 years olds do because their brains aren’t development yet and they make bad decisions. It’s not controlling on the parents part so much as protection.

      • Tris says:

        Agree entirely with meme; and, don’t think it’s prudish in the slightest.

        In fact, it is fighting against the ages-old battle that is so powerfully still raging: women being encouraged to do what society/men would force them to do otherwise (everything from showing their bodies to embracing traditional roles like marriage).

      • Down and Out says:

        I dunno, Paltrow has a nice butt, tho. Bit of a conflcting message she’s sending, imho.

    • MrsBPitt says:

      OMG, meme!! Don’t tell the Kardashians that!!!!

    • Twinky says:

      Yes, Meme.

      I’ve taught my teen daughter that she can dress however she likes. BUT, I’ve also taught her that when a young woman dresses provocatively, she will attract the gazes of strange men, whether that is her intention or not, because that’s just a fact of life. And it won’t just be the gazes of cute young boys in her age group! It could be any random guy that she passes on the street who might be ogling her.

      And guess what? She dresses very appropriately when she leaves the house. Her attire has never been an issue between us.

      Clothing isn’t empowerment, knowledge is!

    • annaloo. says:

      But see, here’s the thing: we can’t make statements like this anymore with out someone’s eyes rolling up into the back of her head while she accuses us of “slut-shaming”. Where is that line bc tho I can’t stand Gwyneth and her public image at all, she does make a valid point here. Much of women’s lack of confidence comes with anything tied to their body: physical attractiveness, too fat too skinny, power of beauty– these things fuel $6B beauty industries and saturate our media with magazines on how to embrace your inner sex goddess.

      I don’t think a 12 yr old should be anywhere near the realms of balancing sex appeal, but here we are. Where is the line of empowerment and slut-shaming? We got a woman on everything bc a sex tape of her being urinated on made the rounds, yet every girl is a Princess. Who are we teaching young girls to be?:-(

      Makeup at 12 is a no no in my world. A girl is too young to be playing with it, I feel… I have two nieces and they are heavily into a YouTube series called SevenSuperGirls. The series could use some diver, but they’re girls from 12-15, no makeup, playing characters, doing things from shopping to finding fairies in their neighborhood. I’m surprised that they don’t have a TV show yet, but I’m OK with then. They’re little girls, as they should be. No way I would be OK with my 11yr old niece knowing about contouring. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

    • Otaku Fairy says:

      “Dressing ‘like a streetwalker and/or walking around half naked is not empowering FOR ME PERSONALLY.” Fixed it for ya. 🙂
      +1000 @ Phonetics and Locke Lamora.
      @Cynthia: Something can be empowering AND be done for shock value/to draw attention to something. It’s not an either/or thing. Something doesn’t have to be private to be empowering to a person.
      @JenniferJustice: A person making the decision to dress in a way that’s not in line with the moral code or beliefs about female respectability that some other people have had passed down to them doesn’t mean she has no class or no pride. It just means her ‘pride’ doesn’t necessarily come from living up to your standards. But if you’re a parent, you definitely have the right to decide what your own underage child won’t wear. It is what it is.
      @Tris: Modesty (“Don’t be/dress like a ‘slut’/whore/save sexuality and your body for x situation”) is also a traditional thing that women are encouraged, shamed, pressured, and scares into, (or in some cases, punished for not doing) by society and patriarchy. So some women fight that too.

    • Carol says:

      I think young girls (I’m talking 9 – 13 year olds) don’t necessarily understand what “sexy” means at least how adults think of that term. Young girls think sexy is attention-grabbing garb – power – not sexually provocative. So I get what Gwyneth is saying here. I remember in high school when I sneaked out of the house to go to clubs, I would wear the most inappropriate clothing with tons of make up on. I never thought I was being sexually provocative – never really wanted guys attention. I just thought I was being cool, punk or “master of my identity.” Now when I look back – what the heck was I thinking???

  3. Pinky says:

    I was ready to go in on her, but I can’t. She made sense. So I’m gonna find something else to go in on, on another thread.


  4. Wiffie says:

    I have 2 girls under 4, and know the day will come when i have to deal with the same issues, and that makes me happy they are still sitting here eating oatmeal in Disney undies with colorful spoons. Soaking up the innocence while i can. Navigating parenting is scary and confusing sometimes, and I can totally relate to goop here. Never thought I’d utter those words…

    • Cynthia says:

      It doesn’t help that advertisers keep marketing to girls, younger and younger.

      • swak says:

        It doesn’t help that some of the models they are using today maybe 18 or 19, but they look about 12 or 13.

  5. Lucy says:

    I never thought I’d say this, but what she’s saying here is very interesting and sensible and I guess I agree with it? Also, had the idea of the suit been better executed, it would’ve been a killer look.

    • pinetree13 says:

      I agree with everything you said. I actually love the colour and the shoes. But as Kaiser said, the fit is SO OFF and the button placements and cut and weird hip area….awful. But I love the “idea” of a sharp red suit with those heels.

  6. CidySmiley says:

    You know I kind of have this fear to. But I have boys lol but I’m always scared they’re going to be defined by toxic masculinity or something like that. I’m always scared they’re going to end up entitled brats or something like that. I know how hard my husband fought body image and masculinity issues.. I don’t want that for my babies. So I always let them do what they want you know? (Want to paint your nails!? SURE! Want to do gymnastics instead of T-ball, SURE!) Parenting is so hard.

    • polonoscopy says:

      I think you’re going to make good men. I wish more Mums told their boys that traditionally feminine things were cool. I have dated guys and have guy-friends who wished they were better at cooking and laundry and taking care of themselves, but their Mums (AND DADS) never taught them because, well, you don’t want them to do feminine things right? EWWWW.

      • kay says:

        lol. my boys are unimpressed that they are being trained to be fully capable of doing everything and anything necessary to maintain a household when they are adults.
        ‘you are not going out into this world expecting ANYONE to look after you. cooking, cleaning, gardening…you will know them all by the time you leave this house.”
        i have never bought into gender roles, so don’t teach them.
        has made for some interesting discussions with my australian hubby. lol.

      • Anners says:

        YES!!! To these parents. Cooking and cleaning aren’t girl things – they are responsible adult things. Yay to prepping a future of responsible, able adults!!!

      • me says:

        I hate gender roles. Growing up, my brother never had to even wash a dish ! He had total freedom to go out and have fun, while I was stuck at home “learning”. It’s not fair. EVERYONE should know how to cook and clean. We should all know how to pump gas and mow the lawn. In my neighborhood I see mostly just men mowing the lawns and on occasion I will see their young sons being taught how to mow. I have yet to see someone teach their daughter how to mow the lawn. I mean girls need to learn those things too.

      • scooter says:

        I had to beg my dad to let me mow the lawn, help with the horses, play catch, and build stuff. And it’s super ironic that both my brothers could not be less interested in those things.

  7. Nicole says:

    When I saw the headline I was fully prepared to roll my eyes but nope this seems like a concern a lot of parents have. Where that line is. I don’t know the right answer some girls like to show off because that’s their power. Some girls like dressing down thats cool too. I guess its a balance of age appropriateness. My roommate and I were two sides of this coin…I dress down and she always said she felt better sans clothes haha

    • macy says:

      it’s a cultural thing too. When you go to Asia or Latin America or even a cultural capital like Paris, you see how much more covered up women are. There’s a joke in Paris that you know who the tourists are because they are wearing short shorts or exposing a lot of cleavage.

      I do think it’s sad how when bigger women are wearing revealing or clingy clothing we call it trashy. But when thinner rich people wear the same thing we call it fashion.

      Also agreed that ideas of what is feminine or even sexy hurt men just as often as they hurt women, and that is the perhaps the bigger point here Gwynnie was trying to make…

      • pinetree13 says:

        To be honest, I see a lot of the opposite shaming as well. For example, if a larger girl wears shorts, it is seen as empowering a lot of the time, but if a slim girl wears shorts she’s more likely to be “slut shamed” which really makes no sense! Some people will come after larger girls for being “too big” to wear something, but then other people will praise those same girls for “empowering themselves” while shaming skinnier girls for “showing off, dressing slu**y”. I’ve really noticed it online in social media, that if a plus size female posts in revealing clothing she is praised for body positivity, but if a fit girl does it, people think she’s showing off. Are both wrong for showing off? Are both right for body positivity? I have NO IDEA.

        You literally cannot win.

  8. Mia4s says:

    So she’s basically not an actress anymore right? Too early to call her a mocktress?

    I don’t disagree with what she’s saying, I’m just fascinated that even an Oscar winning product of major nepotism cannot find film success as a woman over 40. Well, unless RDJ is there prop her up. Showbiz, still such a bizarre business for women!

    • Cynthia says:

      According to Hollywood she is so over the hills she should be locked up and never show her face. I look forward to when Hollywood will start reflecting some real life. Women over 40 are getting hotter and hotter and is one of the best times in your life.

      • Flowerchild says:

        No I guess and would rather go to the opening of these events instead of acting. She was going to star in a movie (sorry I can’t remember the name) and at the last minute pulled out and Nicole Kidmen took the part. Nicole is also in her 40’s and is still working a lot.

      • pinetree13 says:

        Well even if you aren’t ‘hot’ over 40…can’t you still tell interesting stories through your acting? Why do women HAVE to be good looking to get starring roles. When so many leading men are nothing special to look at and don’t age-out as quickly (if at all).

  9. LuluPolly says:

    I love how Gwyneth is taller than everyone in these photos. I’m serious. It’s awesome.

  10. smee says:

    She looks like she’s wearing Apple’s suit!
    Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with her.

    • Flowerchild says:

      Lol yes that suit is horrible on her the fit is completely off like it was made for a shorter person.

  11. UCatwoman says:

    As a professional seamstress/tailor I would never let a client of mine appear in public in such an ill fitting outfit. Does she not own a full length mirror?

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      Did you see that lamb skin onesie she wore to a party? I don’t think she owns a mirror at all, let alone full length.

    • Boo says:

      I think she’s a bit of a famewhore and wears whatever has a name and seems “fashionable” from a high end designer.

      This speech was surprising coming from her but I agree. Also, this goes a bit of way to explain why she stopped being friends with Madonna.

  12. The Eternal Side-Eye says:

    “Post-feminist imagery”

    What a fun choice of words!

  13. Adele Dazeem says:

    Agree with Goopy completely. Know who comes to mind regarding those “post feminists” that think nudity is empowerment? Reality show idiots like Kim Kardashian. And wannabes like Demi Lovato, Bella Thorne and that Emily character from Gone Girl.

    • Lindsay says:

      Emily was a character in the book and was never in anyway promoted as a role model. She may have said some relatable things but that just makes her a more complex character. Neither the book or the movie made her out to be any sort of hero. She also used her mind way more than her body. Her ability to be anything people wanted her to be, her calculated nature, her emotional distance, her manipulations made her successful at her scheme. The one time she used sexual attraction it bit her in the @ss an she made new and worse problems for herself.

      I would question Demi’s inclusion to. She went through a lot to get to where she is know and her mental health and body acceptance messages and advocacy has never rang all that false to me.

      • Adele Dazeem says:

        Um have you seen either of the aforementioned “ladies'” Instagram naked posts as of late?
        I rest my case.

      • Adele Dazeem says:

        And I mean the actress from Gone Girl. Not the character, whose name was “Andy.”

      • Lindsay says:

        Emily Ratajkowski? She is a model it’s not far out from what you would expect but sure.

        Still not seeing the problem with Demi unless there is something way back in her history.

      • Adele Dazeem says:

        Again. Look at Demi’s recent “break the Internet” naked selfie. Thirsty.

    • Trashaddict says:

      I’ll tell you what: if Beyonce and Kartrashian are still posting nudes of themselves when they are 60 and 70 years old, THEN I’ll believe they’re motivated by empowerment. Posing naked only if you meet a certain criterion of beauty is the opposite of empowerment.

  14. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    It must be really hard for a parent to balance self-expression with age appropriateness in a young girl. I guess you just have to choose your battles? I was Apple’s age during the micro mini era, and when I look back, I think my mother was pretty smart about it. Some of my skirts were shorter than some of my shirts now. I learned for myself that it was impractical to wear them and you were always fussing with them to be sure everything was covered. She never said a word, though I’m sure she was holding her breath. I don’t know what I would do in this era when everything is so vulgar and tasteless. It would be really hard.

  15. Wren33 says:

    In some ways I regret being in high school and college in the grunge era, because, man, I could have looked so much better when I had a hot bod to take advantage of. Yet, I also feel lucky especially about being in high school when baggy jeans and flannel shirts were cool and covered all my insecurities.

    • Adele Dazeem says:

      I’m the same age as you, and I feel your sentiments. I’ve also ruminated on how I never, in my most insecure neurotic days of youth, felt I needed to be naked or “dress provocatively” to get men’s attention. I hate that young girls seem to feel they need to get attention that way. I guess in my young deluded mind I thought men liked me for many reasons, including my personality. Lol.

      • Esmom says:

        AD, love your name, btw! Yes, it’s interesting how much things seem to have changed. I went to high school and college in the 80s and baggy clothes were the norm. We always bought t-shirts in XL, which I still laugh about when I come across one. Yet men didn’t seem to mind, and we had plenty of sexual empowerment to go around among my girlfriends.

  16. burnsie says:

    This is probably the one and only time I will find Goop relatable

  17. MrsBPitt says:

    I know I’m old as the hills, and I have only raised sons, but isn’t twelve, pretty young to allow your daughter to wear makeup out???

    • Denise says:

      I caught that too. Makeup at all at 12 is a headscratcher, but ‘too much’ at 12? You can say no to that and not worry about hindering self-expression.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      It does seem so, doesn’t it? When my (now 18) seventh grader made the push for eyeliner and mascara ( and I saw many other girls using it in her school), we allowed it in school only. No where else. She realized the time & effort required, and it very, very quickly lost its shine & was given up. Subsequently, throughout most of high school, she wore no or very little make up during the school day, concentrating on her studies, only wearing it for dances or out to mall with friends, etc.

      For us, letting her dabble with reasonable restrictions allowed the issue to burn out naturally and relatively quickly.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      Apparently not anymore. I’m 32 but I remember not being allowed to paint my nails at 11. I wasn’t into makeup until I bought my first blue frosted eyeshadow at 13 (oh the nostalgia) and I remember showing it to my mom. She looked resigned. As in “Okay, it’s time I guess.” But we didn’t move past mascara and powder until we were 15 I think.

      But these days, I see so many really young girls run around with Instagram-makeup during the day. I hope it’s a phase. Don’t wear matte burgundy lipstick at 14, girl!

    • KOri says:

      I think so. My now-14 year old has played with makeup since she was a pre-teen but she’s only allowed to put it on in the house. She watches tutorials on YouTube and whatnot. We had a deal she could start to wear minimal makeup this coming school year since she’s starting high school–mascara, light lipstick/gloss, that sort of thing. She’s gotten through so far with very good skin (no breakouts) so why gunk it up with foundation, etc? Her 21 yr old sister still wears very minimal makeup–personal choice–and usually just on special occasions. Enjoy the fresh face while you have it!

  18. NotSoSocialButterfly says:

    I can’t help but feel this topic came from a thoughtful dinner guest, and was an idea then usurped and regurgitated by the vapid and shallow Goop.

  19. The Eternal Side-Eye says:

    I think her concerns are echoed by most open-minded and well meaning parents so I’m not exactly wowed. I’m going from a perspective with young boys but it’s a balancing act to encourage them towards what they seem to enjoy naturally (trucks, robots etc.) while also supporting things you know society would come down on them for (MLP, ‘feminine’ dolls).

    We’re all trying our hardest not to raise jackasses is the simple answer. I also think there’s a difference between too much makeup and your daughter not respecting herself or feeling she has to further sexualized herself to be popular. Know what I do as a kid? Wore a ridiculously pitiful amount of too much makeup. Went to a Catholic school and was never told I was wrong or trying to impress anyone by either my teachers or my mother (though love the woman, she tried to gently steer me away from the green eyeshadow up to the eyebrows) and guess what? I wasn’t trying to fit in, I wasn’t trying to sexualize myself, and now my makeup is flawless.

    If Gwen feels her daughter may struggle with her self esteem or idea of self then she needs to zero in right on that because it’s never JUST about the makeup or short skirt or sexualizing if a kid feels like they have to do it. Something is already lacking and struggling.

    My 5 second rant for the day.

  20. QQ says:

    What is she wearing, I’m sorry but im extremely distracted by her hair and whatever is the middle, Is it Ill fitting? is she pregnant? what is that weird non closure?

    • kay says:

      she looks like boiled milk spilled over onto cinnamon heart candies.
      never been a fan of her style, but this one is just….mind boggling on a kim kardashian “mirror? what’s that?’ kinda way…

  21. Rapunzel says:

    I’m totally okay with showing ones body, if one is comfortable.

    What gets me is these women who think they are empowered by selling their nakedness. It’s deluded. It’s just the patriarchy’s way of convincing women to let them sell their naked images as masturbatory fantasies for men. While the men make money, and the women get label hos and sluts. But of course the women make money off it too, though not as much. So nobody complains. But women need to realize that nakedness can’t be empowering if you don’t control it. And women almost never do in the media.

    • Adele Dazeem says:

      Love this post!!

    • Saks says:


    • Otaku Fairy says:

      That’s because you’re thinking empowerment can only be about women strictly controlling the number of men who will ever see their bodies. For some, empowerment comes from saying no to a standard they disagree with and find restrictive . So for them, rejection of modesty is empowering.

      • Kitten says:

        Always appreciate your comments on this subject, Otaku and your patient, calm way of articulating your stance.

        This topic been framed in a certain way for so damn long that admittedly, it can be difficult for me to wrap my head around a new way of thinking about it.
        But I always respect your perspective, which is one that challenges me to look at it from a different angle, one I hadn’t thought of before.

      • Wren33 says:

        Yeah, I think that is why there is so much tension between the anti-porn, anti-sexed up wing of feminism, and the “go have lots of sex girl” wing. Both perspectives are true. For so long women were held to ridiculous standards or morality and modesty, imposed by men. And they were also objectified. It is hard to figure out what position is fighting most against the virgin-whore dichotomy.

  22. Aang says:

    We agreed when our daughters were little that my husband would not comment on or police their clothing choices. Never want to send the message that any man owns their bodies. I guide them in choosing occasion appropriate outfits but ultimately its up to them. We are headed to Morocco and Spain next week. The know to dress nicer in Europe than they normally do at home and they will wear longer skirts and covered shoulders in Morocco.

    • me says:

      I hope you guys have a lovely and safe trip ! So lucky!

    • isabelle says:

      Be prepared for Morocco. I’ve never been so cat called in my entire and wore long dresses/skirts with conservative attire. Hissed at, grabbed, followed. A couple of guys came up the man with me and asked if he would give me to them lol. It was much worse for those dressed in shorts, tank tops, sleeveless shirts, etc. It really is best to dress conservatively. This was about 10 years ago, so it may be better? Overall its still a pretty safe country and one of the best travel experiences of my life. Beautiful, exotic and the food is awesome. Enjoy the mint green tea and bargaining, bte…. they want you to bargain. Hope you have a great experience!

  23. isabelle says:

    I don’t have children and still feel some anxiety when I see really young girls in short clothing, tight clothing. I was at the mall and a girl about 13-14, with obvious padding, a very short skirt, very high heels was cat called by men much much older. Wanted to throttle them and cover her up. Its that instinct to protect even though you know its a personal choice. The world is still full of perverts even if it remains a woman’s choice. Teens often don’t realize the consequences of their choices. So its hard for moms and yes other women to see very young girls get ogled & cat called.

    • me says:

      I live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids. I see young girls, maybe 10 to 12 wearing pretty much booty shorts. It worries me. I don’t have kids, so what do I know, but I wonder if the parents are really ok with this or if they just “give in”. I remember one time with my niece, she was only 6 or 7. She pulled some very short shorts out of her suitcase to wear and I told her she can’t wear those when she’s with me. I mean, I’m not her mom, but when she’s with me, I have rules. I don’t see why a child needs to wear booty shorts. It’s disturbing.

  24. Nina says:

    I love hating Goop but she makes a great point…

    Again, can’t just turn years of eye-rolling into sheer admiration cos she will soon say something awfully elitist. Plus, why is her hair still in the boring 90’s and this “suit” from some bad unclear decade?

  25. Suzy from Ontario says:

    I think she has a point and I’m uncomfortable with it as well…girls are being sexualized so young and while they call it being empowered, it feels like they are being exploited by all heavy sexual imagery and young girls in ads and social media through people like Kylie Kardashian and so on, and it’s so blatant and over the top sexual. I’m all for women being self confident and dressing in a way that pleases them and lets them express themselves, but I feel like a lot of young girls are getting the message that in order to feel more grown up and taken seriously, they need to dress like they are 27 and going out to a racy club for the night. I think a young teen can express herself and even be sexy without all the ultra sexy clothing of push-up bras and underboob showing and so on. I think at that age they are trying to be grown up and get attention, and maybe feeling the powerfulness of sexual attention for the first time, but there’s still a lot of confusion about sex and love and how it can be all tangled up. Attention from males because you are in a sexy skimpy outfit does not necessarily mean they like you or want to date you, and a lot of young girls are still too emotionally immature to truly understand that and don’t really know what kind of consequences could come from that kind of attention, especially is they start mixing alcohol and/or drugs into the mix in an effort to feel grown up and fit in. I think you can encourage them to have their own style without them falling into that trap of trying way too hard to be noticed, but it requires a lot of talking about what it all means and why dress this way or that. A lot of young girls are looking up to Kylie kardashian and imo, she’s too young to be dressing the way she is and doing the things she’s doing. She THINKS she is mature and understands herself and her choices, but rarely do you look back on 17 or 18 when you are decades older and go, yeah…I really had it together and knew myself back then! ha!

  26. Grant says:

    I love the color of that suit!

  27. Alana says:

    I actually agree with Gwyneth Paltrow on something…What is happening?