Demi Lovato on Taylor Swift: ‘I don’t see anybody in a squad that has a normal body’

demiglamour
You have to hand it to Demi Lovato, she really sticks to her talking points, like obsessively so. Sometimes that means she makes a difference in the lives of youth at risk for eating disorders and self harming and sometimes that means she’s feuding with other celebrities over petty things. Demi covers the November issue of Glamour Magazine, where she looks like she swapped faces with Zoe Kravitz. Does anyone else see that? It’s a mixture of makeup and Photoshop I think. As we’ve come to expect from Demi, who last told off a fan for not drawing her body with realistic proportions, she has some strong ideas about how women should look. Apparently that extends to judging other women for not meeting her standards. Demi also talked to Glamour about being “triggered” by things that remind her of her difficult childhood, by seeing thin women, and by seeing people use her former drug of choice, cocaine.

On the negative response to her “Body Say” images
You don’t say anything, because you can never win. Whether they’re saying that you’re ugly, or that you’re a whore, or that you’re a bad role model, or something else, you’re never gonna win.

On exploring sexuality in her image and music
We live in an imbalanced society when it comes to encouraging male sexuality and discouraging female sexuality. In 20 years I hope we’ll look back like, Wow, that’s how it used to be.

Working too much reminds her of her unhealthy past

But I was on such a platform[at Disney] that gave me the rest of my career—I couldn’t complain. [So now] whenever our schedules start to get busy, I start getting triggered because the things I used to do to cope were unhealthy. When I have a long day, I think, if [I went back to those things], I’d be able to get through it. But we now work with our manager, and we have amazing schedules.

Question: You’ve said before, in regard to Taylor Swift, “Don’t brand yourself a feminist if you don’t do the work.” How do you see yourself doing the work?
Just speaking out. I’m not afraid to talk about the fact that women get paid less than men in the United States and how unfair that is. Talking about it at all is doing the work. And I think every woman does her part in some way. But I think in certain situations, certain people could be doing more if they’re going to claim that as part of their brand. To be honest, and this will probably get me in trouble, I don’t see anybody in any sort of squad that has a normal body. It’s kind of this false image of what people should look like. And what they should be like, and it’s not real.

Question: Well, there are many kinds of “normal” bodies. I think what you’re getting at is there’s just one type of body in that squad.
It’s not realistic. And I think that having a song and a video about tearing Katy Perry down, that’s not women’s empowerment. We all do things that aren’t, but I have to ask myself, Am I content with calling myself a feminist? Yes, because I speak out.

Question: Do things besides a busy schedule still trigger you?
Yeah, of course. Seeing cocaine in movies. I’ve never watched The Wolf of Wall Street. I can’t. I don’t like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom. I did the Victoria’s Secret Swim Special, and being surrounded by supermodels’ bodies was triggering to me. I remember asking, “How do you maintain your figure?” Some said, “I really have to work at it.” Others said, “It’s genetics.” It was interesting to hear that it wasn’t through unhealthy [behaviors]. It was a great learning experience. I still felt sexy, having a different body than these women. I had Wilmer there, who loved my curves—that helped.

[From Glamour]

Do you see how that question about Swift went? Demi was asked about feminism as it related to her feud with Taylor. She answered that very sensibly and then somehow turned it around into models and thin women not being “real” or “normal,” as if that’s a related topic. I really liked how the Glamour interviewer called her on it. Being thin or out of the “average” range is not the same as not being “normal.” There are people who are under and over a healthy BMI, but that’s a different metric entirely. Plus, say what you will about Taylor Swift, she does try to be inclusive with her squad and has had average-sized women at her parties, like Uzo Aduba and Lena Dunham. Taylor usually hangs out with other singers, actresses and models and women in those professions tend to be thinner than the general population. So Demi’s point is lousy for several reasons, particularly the fact that she claims to be body positive and inclusive. Funny how that doesn’t extend to women who are thinner than her. It’s like the only body type that deserves praise is her own. Also, it’s telling that being around models is “triggering” to her. That’s their job to be thin. It’s not personal.

I’ll say something nice now, she looks very cute with freckles.

Freckles 🤓

A photo posted by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on

demilovatoglamour2

demilovatoglamour1

photos credit: Glamour/Carter Smith and Instagram/Demi Lovato

Related stories

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

127 Responses to “Demi Lovato on Taylor Swift: ‘I don’t see anybody in a squad that has a normal body’”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Dominique says:

    Woah. That cover. That doesn’t look like her at all. I would truly not know that was her.

    But my God, lady, do you speak about anything other than bodies? There is so much more to life. Stop worrying about what they look like, worry about yourself.

    • Aren says:

      I thought the same, that’s not her face.
      As for only speaking about the same thing, I think her thoughts are still very oriented towards disorders, that’s why everything triggers her.
      It’s great she wants to speak about body shaming and body ideals, but she would probably benefit from distancing herself from those issues.

    • Meredith says:

      Regarding her face, I’m seeing a combination of Brie Larson and Soleil Moon Frye.

    • tealily says:

      I do see the Zoe Kravitz in there, although Soleil Moon Frye is a good call too. I think she’s still in the point of her recovery where she has to think about it and focus on it all the time, or she’s afraid she may relapse. I really hope she can get past that, because leading the life/career that she does especially, it can’t be easy.

    • Dominique says:

      Definitely seeing the Soleil Moon Frye and not the Demi, LOL.

    • LeAnn Stinks says:

      Not that I am defending Demi, because I don’t really like her, but it is obvious that she suffers from BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder), which I am sure is tied in with her eating disorders. People who suffer from BDD, whether is it marginal, or extreme, fixate on their bodies, as well as others. Even with proper help, she may always be weight obsessed.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      She looks like Pamela Adlon.

    • annaloo. says:

      I love Dominique’s quote: ” There is so much more to life. Stop worrying about what they look like, worry about yourself. ”

      Truly, it makes me wonder about Demi: If you’re “triggered” by so much, are you really all that empowered?

      • Dominique says:

        Interesting food for thought, Annaloo.

      • SM says:

        My thoughts exactly. If she thinks that swifty is just using feminism for her brand (which she is) but she is a real feminist by calling me not normal only because I’m thin then she is delussional. Way to go, Demi.

    • LoveIsBlynd says:

      YEah I noticed that Lena Dunham wasn’t ever in her red carpet “squad”. Ever.

  2. Ayra. says:

    What’s a “normal” body, Demi? Please, tell us since you’re the supreme on body types. Is someone that works out not qualify as having a “normal body”? And what about someone that’s naturally skinny, are they not “normal”?
    She hasn’t changed much from when she was a teen. She annoyed me then and she’s annoying me even more now.

    • Neo says:

      This, all day. Also… Lena Dunham. She might be an annoying, entitled jerk but if that ain’t a “normal” body, I don’t know what is.

    • lala says:

      no, you dont understand, she has a normal body, and therefore she will be the one to judge what normal is, in fiction and real life. She is licenced by super normal super relatable feminst police

      • Kitten says:

        LOL. Yeah this.

        I will say this: She looks absolutely gorgeous in all these pics. Although, why does she not complain about the photoshopping of her face into unrecognizable oblivion?
        Hmmmm…

    • JenniferJustice says:

      I take her “not a normal body in that squad” comment to imply they aren’t naturally like that. They’ve all had implants, injections, botox, lifts, etc. And, I agree. Taylor has had two boob jobs, at least one nose job, veneers, and at least once, she wore butt pads and I will be very surprised if she doesn’t get butt implants because she’s obviously read the comments about her and that twitter from the rapper who playfully started the “Buy Taylor a Butt” Fund.

      In that respect, IMO Demi is right. Those young women are role models whether they want to be or not and young girls are given the impression that tall thin with big boobs is still the coveted body and the goal to strive for. Any less is inferior and even, ugly.

      That said, Demi does herself no favors judging and shading other women in the industry. It only makes her come off catty and perpetually insecure about herself. She keeps saying she’s good with her body now and loves her curves, but her disses on thin women with large breasts completely undermines her claims to be confident. Let it go girl. They don’t care what you think and you aren’t going to change them. All the subtle slams on other women discredit her feminist claims. Take the high road and live and let live.

      • LeAnn Stinks says:

        That is an excellent point Jennifer, and I hadn’t even thought about that angle. But my biggest gripe with 98% of celebrities, is that they never acknowledge, and some even flat out deny (like the Kardocheians, Lady Goo Goo and Giselle (just to name a few)), that they even had work.

        How can the average woman feel when she shown images of what is marketed as “natural” beauty, and it is so far from natural. If these celebs would at least admit to having some help, it would make the average woman feel less inferior.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        I agree. It would be nice if women in the industry were honest about the work they’ve had done. It’s never affected my sense of worth, but I think they’re liars and too caught up in their bubble life to do what’s right for the youth.

      • detritus says:

        JJ I think your read on this is bang on.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        I don’t agree with the idea that people who belong to certain groups (in this case, women) are supposed to not make a decision (in this case, plastic surgery, but you could apply it to just about any personal choice) so other members of their group don’t feel or aren’t pressured into making that decision, but I don’t like it when celebrities flat-out lie about the work they’ve had done either.

    • Amanda G says:

      …and in the same breath claims she is a feminist.

    • Kate says:

      Hi Demi, my name is Kate. I’m short and naturally thin. I have a “normal” body.

    • MiniMii says:

      I lift weights so I have a muscular body. I guess since don’t have curves like Demi I’m firmly on the “not normal” list.

      For a woman who talks (and talks ….and talks) feminism & body positivity like its a freaking religion, she sure doesn’t practice what she preaches.

  3. dq says:

    Sorry, Demi, but you’re as much of a “feminist” as Taylor and her gang of white girls.

    I understand that her body type is different and very common amongst many young girls, but so is being tall and skinny for some people. I used to really love Demi and thought she had a lot of positive things to say for girls struggling with BDD and EDs, but she’s kind of turned into something else that I cannot support. I feel like she should be in counseling/therapy if she isn’t already. She has a lot of work to do on herself and tearing down others because of that insecurity she still has left is not helping her in the public eye…at all. Hope she finds herself again, positive and confident without feeling the need to butt in where she doesn’t belong…

    What is with these pop tarts thinking their word is the end all, be all..

    • sunny says:

      What do white girls have to do with anything? Are you saying a person can’t be feminist if they mostly hang out with other white girls? Or if they are white? Why is “white” allowed to be used as a pejorative on this site? Perhaps you should tell “white girls” what they must do to meet your standards. Demi can decide what constitutes a “normal body” and you can be the arbiter of who is feminist for “white girls”! Ugh.

      • Brittney B. says:

        That comment was a dig at Taylor’s brand of feminism, not “white girls” period. Feminism is intersectional, but “white feminism” is a technical descriptor for that exclusive brand of feminism that only seems to target white women. I think DQ is talking about Taylor, self-proclaimed feminist, hand-picking her “empowering” girl squads from a very narrow sect of society. The goals of feminism won’t be achieved until we step outside our own experiences and advocate for ALL women, so until that starts happening in mainstream society, I won’t have a problem with people calling out feminists who only seem to support “white girls.”

        The experiences of people of color, including women of color, are inextricable from the fight for equal rights. I’m not on Demi’s side here — my body would count as “normal” to her, but many of my friends’ bodies wouldn’t — but I do see the points about Taylor’s “squad”. She can pick her friends however she wants, but when we use it as an example of feminist empowerment, that’s where there’s plenty of room for criticism.

      • Kitten says:

        I think what the OP might have been getting at is this: the current trend in feminism is one of intersectionality and I’m not entirely sure that Tay and her squad is most representative of that.

        She is friends (or at least “friendly”) with Uzo though.
        Off-topic but I just finished the last season of OITNB and I can’t help but wish I was friends with Uzo Aduba as well..

        EDIT: I see Brittney beat me to it. Again ;)

      • eto says:

        Hey Sunny, if you want more info on intersectional feminism and what folks are calling white feminism. You can do a google search, there are so many interesting think pieces! Swift has exhibited white feminism in the past, so perhaps that was where OP was coming from.

        EDIT: I see Brittney AND Kitten beat me to it! I just had to make that cup of coffee…. :)

      • Marty says:

        @Kitten- while the acting on OITNB continues to be top notch, I absolutely HATED the last season.

      • Kitten says:

        The acting is SO on-point. My god…what a dream cast.

        I had mixed feelings about last season myself. Curious to know what bothered you the most, Marty?

      • JenniferJustice says:

        I get what all of you are saying but the problem I’m having with it is that Taylor’s squad is not all white girls. Selena Gomez is a woman of color is she not? She may not be African American, but she is full-blooded hispanic and she embraces it – as in, she does not bleach her hair and she hasn’t had her ethnic features plastic surgeried out. She’s had bread implants but she isn’t trying to look white. Cara Delavigne (sp?) is from England, but her surname is French and she’s part Jewish and German. You can see it in her face. She is in no way the average white faced girl. That’s her appeal – she has those crazy eyes and eye brows and that’s the non-anglo ethnicity in her. Taylor is the only white bread looking girl in that bunch. I think Demi has a serious problem with Taylor and everybody else in her pack is primed to be a target by association.

      • Littlestar says:

        @ Jennifer Justice – Selena Gomez is not “full blooded Hispanic”, that term is a general term applied to people in Spain (Europe) or who speak Spanish due to having heritage in a former Spanish colony. It’s not an ethnicity or race, someone can be “Hispanic” and be Native American, Asian, European, African. Selena has a white American mother and a Mexican American father, meaning racially it’s likely she is mostly European with smaller amounts of Native American since the vast majority of Mexicans are racially “mestizo”, meaning of mixed European and Native American descent.

      • Marty says:

        @Kitten- it might mostly had to do with the racial aspects this season. The very first ep they had a black woman say reverse racism is real, then that who Latina inter-fighting over where they come from, and don’t get me started on you know who’s death. It just felt very cheap and unnecessary. Black pain shouldn’t be used as a teaching moment. Plus, when you consider 99% of the writers are white, it just adds another level of gross.

      • Littlestar says:

        To clarify I’m not saying Selena is “white” or doesn’t identify as biracial or bicultural, just clarifying what Hispanic means because it gets wrongly used as an ethnic or racial term when it has to do with language. It’s something of a misnomer, it would be like referring to all citizens of the US, Australia, Great Britain, English-speaking Canada and all other former English colonies as “Anglos” simply because they speak English and totally disregard their culture, ethnicity, race, nationality, tribal affiliations etc.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        You can experiment with different hair colors though (including blonde, dark blonde, auburn, cherry red, or anything else) without wanting to be white, trying to look white, or rejecting your race or culture. It seems like it would be hard to try to come up with a long list of young Hollywood actresses and starlets of any race who haven’t changed their hair color at some point during their fame.

  4. SunnyD says:

    I think she’s still struggling with her disease even if she’s not acting on it, she’s still very osessed with body, weight, comparing and such.

    The ‘real bodies’ thing irks me. As if her body is the best version. Very thin is wrong and very fat is wrong, but she seems to only cover a very narrow part of the vast middle ground.

    • HH says:

      Obsessed is the right word. I think it’d be different if this was an issue she was passionate about and it was simply body positivity (a la Ashley Graham). However, the issue here is that she is big on tearing down others.

    • Nikki Girl says:

      Very thin and very fat are “wrong”?? Yikes, that’s a bit extreme. I don’t really see how it’s up to you, or anyone else, to decide that someone else’s weight is “wrong”. You may deem it unhealthy, but even that’s a dangerous way of thinking, to judge someone as being unhealthy simply because YOU believe they’re too thin or too fat. That’s no different than Demi criticizing a body type for not being “normal”.

  5. Jess says:

    So because I’m naturally skinny and tall I don’t have a “normal” body? Body shaming goes both ways and I’m sick of people ignoring this fact.
    Demi is doing exactly what she criticizes others for doing. Hypocrite

    • virginfangirl says:

      But it is unusual that all her friends are thin. I am naturally thin as well, and most of my friends are thin, but a few are overweight. Does Taylor hang out with any girls who are overweight?

      • Kassie says:

        I’m naturally thin, and some of my friends are more bubblier than me, so to speak, but no one is overweight. I get along with chubbier people, it’s just that we have different interests, different lifestyles etc.

        Demi can sit the hell down.

  6. sunny says:

    She is so insufferable and who is she to define what kind of body is “normal” and to judge someone for their friends? I guess Taylor should consult with Demi before she does anything because Demi has all the answers? Lol no. I wish she’d go away forever…does anyone actually even like her?

  7. anonymous says:

    I think I hate that girl even more than Kim. I didn’t know that was possible.

  8. Locke Lamora says:

    Tyalor has a token “average” friend. Only one at a time. Two tops. Katherine Ryan has a great stand up bit about it. But that’s her choice. Just because these women are not average, doesn’t make them not normal. And it has nothing to do with feminism.

    • sunny says:

      Exactly. Who is anyone to judge Taylor’s friends? Do we need to institute a friendship czar, that decides who will be friends? Can’t have “too many skinny white friends” or whatever. It’s absurd. Be friends with whoever you want regardless of their race or size or anything. It’s not a collection to show how worldly you are…if it is, you’re doing friendship all wrong.

      • Brittney B. says:

        “It’s not a collection to show how worldly you are…if it is, you’re doing friendship all wrong.”

        I think that’s where the criticism is coming from, though. Taylor actually *does* seem to use her squad as a collection to show the world how _____ she is. (Fill in the blanks: popular, not dependent on men, not racist, powerful, etc.)

      • sunny says:

        But if she didn’t, she’d be criticized for only having “insert whatever friends here”. No matter what she does on this front she’d be wrong. And tons of regular people do this kind of thing because the pressure to befriend people based on the desire to appear not racist or sexist or ageist or lookist or whatever ist, is immense. It’s ridiculous.

      • Adele Dazeem says:

        Devil’s advocate point: how would YOU feel if you found out you were only a part of a friend squad because they need a token Asian/Latino/skinny girl/fat girl etc?

        I’m not one to have a “Pack” of friends and I’m sure I wouldn’t meet the qualifications that seem to be placed on groups of friends or squads in order to be socially appropriate but geez, friends are organic relationships that form from shared connections, life experiences, etc.

  9. Myriam says:

    “Also, it’s telling that being around models is “triggering” to her. That’s their job to be thin. It’s not personal.”

    I don’t think she’s saying that it’s personal or she takes offense to it. I would hope she understands that it’s their job, but for someone with a disorder, there are “triggers” in their daily lives and these are hers. She even maintains that it has helped her understand and not fall into her disorder.

    • MSat says:

      Right? I mean, did someone force her to accept a gig at the Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit show? I think the name of it is pretty self explanatory. If you are recovering from an eating disorder and have insecurities about your body, and models “trigger” you – why take that gig?

  10. Neo says:

    Girl, you and your Photoshop, your cliche tattoos, and your prescription for what the rest of us should view as “normal” can go find a lake to jump in.

  11. MellyMel says:

    There’s no such thing as a “normal body.” Sometimes I agree with everything she says but then there’s comments like this that I’m like girl please shut up!!

    ETA: her mouth/cheekbones area on this cover make her look like Zoe.

  12. QQ says:

    Demetria Always wears her welcome Thin with this attention needy Clapbacks etc.. what I will say is : That’s a good amount of makeup and Maybe a lil bit less, she is always Troweling the stuff on

    • Abbess Tansy says:

      The chip on her shoulder is pretty tall and wide, isn’t it? And LOL about her makeup. Sometimes it does look like 80s heavily applied on.

      • QQ says:

        HYYYUUUUGGEE Like Sis go to therapy and stop doing this public hissies about petty stuff

        And YESSSS you know what I mean Like Heavy heavy makeup, and she is always complaining people tell her it’s too much as well!

  13. jinni says:

    Demi can go sit the hell down.

    I am getting tired of people trying to normalize being overweight. No I am not advocating for people to be fatshamed. Yes, I know some people have real reasons for being overweight that they can’t control like genetics. But let’s be honest, most of us (yes I include myself) are overweight because we consume too much sugar and don’t move around as much as we should. Plain and simple. If we stopped doing that the norm would look a lot closer to slender people that are being treated like pariahs for not join the rest of overweight society. Just look at old records/ photos of people not but a generation ago or even further in the past and you don’t see a bunch of heavy people. They weren’t small because they were starving and had no food. It’ because the food industry wasn’t putting sugar in everything and making portion crazy large. People were active. People made their own meals instead of buying pre made meals. There weren’t things like food deserts.

    • Naya says:

      Its a complicated issue. Obviously the human body is not at its optimum when its overweight and that needs to be understood by all. But I think from that point on, it becomes a matter of personal choice. Demi can urge people to value the aesthetics of their bodies just as long as she is not actively disputing the hard science. Its extremely important to me that my body fat not go over the recommended, it doesnt seem to be as important for other people and frankly as long as they are not my children, I dont care.

      • jinni says:

        I get that it is complicated and if people that are big love the way they look, that’s great. Just quit acting like this is the way things are supposed to be and putting down those that are not larger. To me it’s like if people with tattoos started trying to shame people w/o tattoos and tell them that their bare skin is abnormal since nowadays a lot of people have tattoos.

    • virginfangirl says:

      I hear what you are saying, but for me, to be overweight would be REALLY difficult to achieve. I mean for years I never exercised and ate lots of junk, but I just don’t have a big appetite, so don’t eat a lot. I’m not super skinny, but thin. I feel for those who always feel hungry. If I did I don’t think I would have the self control to not eat, because when I am hungry it’s all I can think about.

  14. Naya says:

    She still hates her body and she projects that hate on the bodies she secretly considers better. Only insecure women feel the need to put down other female bodies.

  15. littlemissnaughty says:

    Oh good God. I hate that she can’t talk about anything but those unattainable bodies that are sooo dangerous. Let’s be real. She wouldn’t be this ultra feminist body image warrior if she actually looked like a model. She obsesses and instead of delivering a positive message, she goes negative all the damn time. Leave the models alone, they aren’t the problem.

  16. Moon says:

    I support her. Too many girls I know who grew up before this current growing girl power era have a multitude of plastic surgery and eating disorders that could have been avoided. Thinspiration blogs and thigh gaps are horrifying and for young girls, having a famous celeb like Demi speak up for your issues when your natural body is called ‘not ideal’ is so empowering. And hey anytime anyone calls out Taylor and her sham feminism, I’m a fan.

    • anonymous says:

      But she is just fake and annoying as taylor thought just saying… She is just insecure and lame otherwise she would not need to judge and police other people bodies.

      • moon says:

        @JenniferJustice Demi grew up in Hollywood, most likely the overly skinny women there are starving and drugging themselves. You sound like a judgy Goop who goes ‘I do it, I’m so great because I work hard, it’s your own fault and you need to lose ten pounds because you’re too thick and unattractive.” In no way is she saying you can’t exercise, eat right and be fit. Her bone to pick was with unhealthy standards that triggered an eating disorder for her. Not all women are size zeros no matter how hard they exercise. I work out and eat normal, and I will never have a thigh gap because that’s just my body shape. I’m not saying you can’t have a thigh gap if that’s how your body’s built. But most women don’t, and girls shouldn’t starve themselves to get some ridiculous body standard that is unnatural for most unless they stop eating. Women who are overweight aren’t overweight because they are ‘lazy and unmotivated’, there are often mental or social factors at play. Demi worked hard to accept herself for who she is, she went through a self harm phase when she couldn’t and this is why it means so much to her to help other girls. So please take your judgy narcissism back home.

        Realise I sound like Demi’s PR here but I just find this a meaningful issue. I like that celebs like ScarJo, KimK and Demi are saying it’s OK to not look like a super model, beauty exists in other shapes.

    • Anon says:

      The reality is the percentage of woman who suffer from anorexia is extremely small. Far more women over eat causing them to become overweight. I think that’s a way bigger issue.

      • anonymous says:

        @Anon the thing is demi and people like her thing that somehow skinny people are responsible for all their troubles.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        She also seems to be under the impression that skinny = starving oneself, drugging, or some other unhealthy method. In my experience, and of all the people I know, all of the women I know who are thin, are thin because they work at it, including myself. I do not starve. I am not just “active” – I work out ’til my heart rate increases and I’m sweating, I drink water. It’s not difficult, but it is a lifestyle, so I get that it’s hard to get used to if you’re not used to it, but once you do start with all of it, it not only gets easier, it becomes the normal and your body craves it. I’m short so any extra weight on me makes a big difference. I don’t appreciate the implication that there must be something wrong to be found with a thin person. That attitude stems from insecurity and makes way for excuses and the desire to cast blame. Some of us work for it, but you’d think it was a bad thing. Demi’s problems are not my problems and it’s not my fault that if we were in the same room, she would feel inferior by comparison. I’ve gotten that a lot throughout my life, but it is projecting. I didn’t determine Demi’s shape or weight any more than she determined mine. And she can talk about “curves” all she wants but the truth is, she still needs to lose another 10 pounds and keep it off because she’s still a bit thick. I’m willing to bet $1K that if she did that, she wouldn’t be missing her “curves” and talking about that anymore. She would change her tune in a New York minute and it would be all about health and exercise. Demi personifies ‘justification’ IMO. Whatever she’s doing or is at the moment is what everybody else should be or be doing. More symptomatic of the sycophantic industry. Nobody tells these people they sound stupid and should STFU.

      • HH says:

        @JenniferJustice – You essentially argue that Demi projected her insecurities and assumed people like you were judging her. Then, you go on to say that Demi “needs” to lose an additional 10 lbs because she’s “still a bit thick”… which is, in fact, passing judgement. While it’s ultimately up to the individual not to let it get to them, you’re arguing “I can’t help it if someone feels judged” while going on to judge that person. That’s a validation of her feelings. These aren’t coming out of thin air or being projected (at least in your case).

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        Even thought the rate of *recorded* anorexia among women is low compared to the rest of the population, a lot of people with different anorexia and bulimia-type eating disorders go undiagnosed and untreated because not all people who have that problem are people who will be honest about what they’re doing and accept help, some of them are in denial with themselves about it, and a lot of times people who starve/purge etc. but aren’t under a certain weight yet get overlooked. And the complications with anorexia and bulimia kill you earlier.

    • Wren says:

      I support her too. I don’t like everything she has to say but I’m happy she’s not afraid to say it. So it’s a bit harsh, a bit over the top, a bit *gasp* mean. STOP TELLING WOMEN TO BE NICE. I’m sick of it. The overwhelming response to her is “omg shut up you’re so mean” even on this site. “Omg she needs to be nice to the guy who drew (unbidden) a picture of her looking like a freakish pron star!” Because why exactly? Why should she be nice if she was revolted by the ridiculous depiction of her? She didn’t ask him to draw that, he did it all on his own and asked her what she thought, then got all butthurt because she didn’t like it. Boo freaking hoo, little man.

      • Erinn says:

        But – this is the same girl who’s harping on other people for being her definition of mean. You don’t get to have the cake and eat it too. She’s complaining about Taylor ripping other women down – but Demi is doing the same. Even outside of this interview – she was ridiculously rude about the girl Nick Jonas had been seeing – a girl who isn’t in the spotlight, a girl who isn’t doing anything to Demi.

        She complains about the photo taking her waist in, and increasing the bust size – but takes no issue with the fact that the photo SHE posted (that he got the source material from) – her face looks nothing like her face. She is also barely recognizable in a lot of these photos. But she’s cool with that.

        Demi is the girl who wants to complain about other people and body image, and photoshopping, and unrealistic standards – but doesn’t care about the photoshopping when it benefits HER. She is a special, untouchable snowflake in Demi-world.

      • HH says:

        @Wren @Erinn – I fall somewhere in the middle of you two. I do think that some of the things Demi says have a “mean girl” tone to them. However, when it comes to depictions of her body, I get her sensitivity in terms of what she’s had to endure to get to a period of acceptance. And from what it sounds like this “acceptance” isn’t on the firmest of ground. I assume some of the “attack-like” undertones stem from this place. In fact, I think she overplays how much she likes her body to cover up for the fact that her relationship is still not at a place of full/strong “self love.” Any depictions of her body which show it “could” look better, most likely hit a sore/weak spot for her. She simply overcompensates and gets defensive. I’m sympathetic given what she’s had to go through, especially while in the public eye. But ultimately, I do agree that she can and should do better.

  17. Georgia says:

    I get what she was saying though. If you look at TSwift and her rollout of models they all look the same (and I wonder if the outliers you’ve mentioned, Lena and Uzo, serve the purpose of Political correctness in a series of PR outings). TSwift is someone girls look at for inspiration and she’s not a good role model on many levels. I’ll take Demi over Taylor any day.

  18. detritus says:

    “I remember asking, “How do you maintain your figure?” Some said, “I really have to work at it.” Others said, “It’s genetics.” It was interesting to hear that it wasn’t through unhealthy [behaviors]. It was a great learning experience.”

    Well, sort of. I don’t think all those women are doing this a healthy way and I think they are going to be careful talking to Demi about anything diet related. I’ve read articles where numerous models talk about getting to Victoria’s Secret weight. They talk about juice cleansing for weeks, barely eating etc. Chrissy Teigan has, Kate Upton has, I can’t even remember the others, but there were more.

    I’m sorry, but juice cleansing and sever calorie restriction isn’t healthy, and promoting those bodies as aspirational isn’t healthy either. There my be some women there who are fit, healthy and happy at that weight, but many won’t be, or will have adopted negative coping mechanisms to keep their body there. I don’t know where the line between public presentation of what is an aspirational body, body positivity and personal choice is.

    • Kitten says:

      “There my be some women there who are fit, healthy and happy at that weight, but many won’t be, or will have adopted negative coping mechanisms to keep their body there.”

      But the problem is that you can’t definitively tell by looking at a thin woman whether she’s naturally-thin or if she’s starving herself to look like that. So as soon as you make that leap by assuming that a woman has an ED instead of being naturally-thin, you’re making an unfair judgment on her body type. There’s no getting away from that. And yes, I absolutely believe that thin people are often stigmatized, just in a different way than overweight people are.

      And while I agree that holding up (seemingly) impossibly thin women as aspirational might not be the best thing for a gender that already faces so much pressure in terms of body image, I also don’t think that saying thin women aren’t “real” is helpful to the discussion either.

      Personally I’m rather disturbed by Demi’s insensitive comments. As someone who suffers from an ED, she should know better.

      • detritus says:

        You can’t definitively tell, and more so, you can’t tell where they are on their journey either. A photo is a snap shot, a small time point in a slope or curve, that is not necessarily indicative of where they will be on the path they are on.
        They could be tiny and recovering from ED, they could be thin and dealing with a health issue unrelated to ED, a million times a million different stories, there are so many variations.

        The major issue is gaining representation for all body types and making more shapes aspirational, but getting there? No idea how.

        My issue is that disordered eating and the bodies it produces are considered aspirational and healthy. That young boys and girls grow up thinking these bodies are attainable through moderation and exercise, when really they are attainable through severe calorie restriction and high levels of exercise. My impression, as a health scientist, as a woman, as a competitive athlete, is the vast majority, not all but most, of these bodies are produced through unhealthy means.

        There are models going on record, talking about their fad diets so they are small enough for shows. These are the women who have spoken out, the ones who don’t know or don’t care that people will see what they say. I’m sure there are others who don’t talk about it, because thinness is supposed to be effortless. We reward women who are tiny, but not those who only eat salad, and most women are aware of that.

        So if most models in VS are behaving in an unhealthy way, is it wrong to point that out? Even if a few are genetically that way and eat a well balanced diet?
        Where can we say – this body type is usually unhealthy, not the pinnacle of health we pretend? Where can we say – we have pressured so many of our women and girls into feeling their worth is tied to their bodies, and that their bodies are not worth anything unless they diet them away to nothing.

        The Demi stuff, she’s a giant dickhole. Her narcissism informs her behaviour more than her battle with ED does. As a survivor of ED she should be much more aware of what she says and does and how it impacts people and their body image, but she’s too busy shouting about how her choices are the best choices.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        I agree with everything you say in relation to “models” but that’s where I draw the line…well, models and actresses, signer – industry women. Models are known to have cigarettes and a coke for “lunch”. They are known to snort coke to obliterate their appetite. But in the regular world, most thin people are thin due to genetics, high metabolism and working at it.

        Demi is on the short side. She is a bit fleshy/curvy. That is genetic. I have no idea what her diet consists of, but I’m confident concluding she does not exercise enough. And that is her problem. She can’t do coke anymore. She can’t starve or purge anymore. But she’s still resentful that there isn’t an easy out because she doesn’t want to work out. IMO she is a toddler stomping her feet. I don’t think she is a good role model for young girls, even girls with EDs. She may be relatable, but she’s not anybody to aspire to. And if I’m going to be really honest, she wont’ admit that her problems all started not just because of being a Disney girl under pressure, but she hooked up with a known douch bag at a very tender age. A douche bag with a wandering eye who made her feel inferior – like every young woman whose every been cheated on – thinking there is something wrong with her if she wasn’t enough for him rather than being mature and wise enough to understand he is simply a douche and it had nothing to do with her. He would have cheated on any girl/woman he was with. Those experiences charted her trajectory and she’s still on that same path – comparing and thinking in terms of inferior/superior because she’s still with said douche bag. Because what is the alternative? Admitting she’s with a douche bag who likes to bang other chicks and gets a kick out of having the power in relationship via emotional abuse and knowing how to go for the jugular and push her buttons? She’s never going to be honest with herself as long as she’s with him, so she can’t be honest with us either.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        I thought her eating disorder and other problems started long before she was with Wilmer Valderamma though. (Not saying that that helped). They are broken up now though.

    • Wren says:

      I think we need to promote more types of bodies as aspirational. You can’t tell if a thin woman is unhealthy but you can’t tell if a fat woman is unhealthy either. At extreme ends of the scale it’s pretty obvious, but everything in between depends on the individual.

      I’m tired of the thin ideal. Yes, there are naturally thin women and women who naturally look like models. They are not the majority and I’m tired of seeing them and only them held up as “good”. But can we stop pretending that all of the women we see who fit this “ideal” are healthy? Because we do. Any time someone points out that at least some of those models achieve their shape through unhealthy means, the “but thin women can be healthy tooooooo” chorus starts. Well duh, we know that and never said otherwise. We’re saying that women, especially professionally pretty women, are probably not all naturally like that and some definitely use unhealthy methods to look that way. And if that’s all young girls (the majority of whom do not naturally look like that) see, that’s bad. We need to hold up many types as “good”. It gets old rarely seeing anyone who looks like you described as “aspirational”.

      So Demi is a bit grating about it, oh well. She spent years trying to cram herself into that mold and she’s still bitter about it. That’s fine. I get it. Why does nobody else seem to?

      • Kitten says:

        Ok….but it’s nobody’s business how a woman achieves her physique?
        If she’s not promoting a dangerous diet or encouraging young women to starve themselves, then how is her diet and how she choses to treat her own body ANY of our business?

        And sorry but the “thin women can be healthy too” chorus is not as loud as the “she obviously starves herself to look like that” chorus that inevitably reaches eardrum-breaking level anytime there’s a Kate Bosworth post or an Emma Stone post or a VS post etc etc.

        From your comment, it almost feels like you’re blaming thin women for the pressure that other women experience, simply by their mere existence.
        That is exactly the kind of sh*t that drives me crazy.

        I would also argue that we know that some women might chose unhealthy means to achieve a thin body type (duh).
        ……but again, I have to ask: how is that any of our business?

        But here’s the thing: my comment wasn’t meant to start an argument about what’s better or what’s more difficult: being thin or being overweight. I think we both agree that in order to get past the comparisons we need to be more inclusive of a myriad of different body types but mostly, we shouldn’t be focusing on what women’s bodies look like, period.

        And I get that some women have this innate need to see their body type celebrated or held up as “aspirational” but promoting diverse body types as “aspirational” isn’t the ultimate solution nor does it address the core predicament that this issue presents.
        The core problem being that women’s bodies don’t exist merely for our aesthetic pleasure or for that matter, our approval. Why not focus on what our bodies can DO instead of this tired-ass pedantic battle of Overweight Vs. Thin? Why waste time arguing amongst ourselves for not adequately representing the “average, normal” woman? Why not strive to promote the message that women’s bodies do not exist solely for our gaze? Can you really say that showing a larger woman posing provocatively or looking like an ornament is an improvement over a thin woman who is posing the same way?

        “She spent years trying to cram herself into that mold and she’s still bitter about it. That’s fine.”

        I REALLY disagree with that. Again, as someone who struggles with an ED, I know that shaming women for their bodies is incredibly destructive. And yeah, Demi absolutely SHOULD know better, she SHOULD be more sympathetic, and she SHOULD be more concerned and sensitive with how she speaks publicly about this issue. I can tell you from personal experience that if you have an ED the last thing you want is someone telling you that your body is not “normal”, really you just don’t want anyone talking about your body, period.

        If there’s one takeaway from this interview, it’s that even the issues that Demi claims to be so concerned with, well she only cares about them in terms of how they affect HER and her own self-perception.

      • detritus says:

        @Wren, I’m with you, but this is a really hard subject to speak clearly on. TBH I find most topics on women’s bodies, plastic surgery, makeup, diet and fitness, to be really difficult to discuss in a feminist light.

        It’s hard to unpack all the baggage you are left with from just existing as a woman in the world, and the rewards from conforming, the scorn for not conforming, the need to justify your history and choices.

        I find the last to be the hardest. Justifying your choices without judging those who chose another path. Demi fails at this completely because she focuses on how everything makes HER feel. Not how these things might impact women with less power and resources than her.

      • Wren says:

        I’m not blaming thin women, that would be stupid, what I am tired of is the “woe is me I’m naturally thin and she’s being mean about it”. Which is what it is. Maybe it’s hard to see if you are naturally close to what is considered best.

        I’m not naturally thin, and do you really think for one second that my health isn’t called into question every day? Or my appearance laughed at or degraded? Now that it’s become more acceptable for thin women to be made fun of, it doesn’t feel very good, does it? No, it isn’t right but it really does feel disingenuous at best for people to be all “you need to be more accepting!” when it’s like “where were you when it was a heavy girl getting the shade?” Oh no, she’s probably unhealthy and stuffs her face with donuts so it’s okay to side eye her and tut tut. Because that’s what happens. It’s all “I don’t like this thing and I have a right to my opinion” until it’s you or something you enjoy under fire, then it’s all “peace and acceptance, don’t be so mean”.

        I suppose it’s not my business how a woman achieves her figure, but why we feel the need to dissect the issue certainly is. The fact that many women go to unhealthy lengths to look a certain way harms all of us. The way one body type is lauded while others are shunted aside harms all of us. Being one of the shunted aside types, it sucks. It’s not just that it’s tiresome rarely seeing yourself represented, which it is, you can’t even speak up about it without being told that you need to accept everyone and how you can’t judge. It’s still totally cool to judge fat women, even on this site, but heaven forbid the same attitude is shown towards thin women.

      • Wren says:

        @Detritus, yes it is hard. I think Demi is an insecure butthole but the rush to shut her up is just horrifying to me. The very idea that a woman (who doesn’t have the “ideal” figure) dares to have harsh opinions about beauty standards and is obviously deeply wounded by them seems to be such a difficult concept to grasp. She isn’t being very mature about this, but she doesn’t hold these opinions in a vacuum. The justifications come from a place of hurt and anger, not a place known for rational thinking or being particularly kind to others. But we all have to justify ourselves and what we do. It’s part of being a woman. One of the least talked about parts, though that’s starting to change. Most of us just don’t talk about it like she does. It’s not ladylike to be angry.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        Since when have heavy women been the only body shape judged and treated accordingly? I have been thin all my life because I work at it. I have been judged all my life by other women who feel they have some inside information to undermine my efforts to be healthy simply because they feel threatened by the mere presence of a thin woman. Don’t say “boo hoo, woe is me, I’m thin and it’s so hard…” That’s not what I feel. What I feel is being obviously shut out, rumors spread, unfounded accusations made, and the unwillingness to even consider that the problem lies within themselves – nothing what-so-ever to do with me or any other woman who happens to be thin. That judging and unacceptance swings both ways and it always has. But because those who feel inferior are hard on themselves on top of being judged by others, it’s okay and excuses are made. Hurt and anger are really poor excuses for a lack of rational thinking – when you’re a kid I can see it, but grown women? Come on! You are arguing for not being kind because you’re feelings have been hurt by others? This is no better than people being unkind to you, so you are basically perpetuating cruelty and judgement based on some invisible who’s been hurt and judged more scale.
        If I had a nickel for every time some woman I’ve never met before in my life, gave me a shitty look while clinging to her boyfriend or husband and then summarily talked smack about me to whomever would listen, I would be one rich woman. Their issues are not my fault. And it doesn’t hurt any less just because I don’t cry at myself when I look in the mirror. It is just as mean, just as baseless, and just as inaccurate as heavy people being judged on their appearance alone. The hypocrisy is astounding!

      • detritus says:

        @Wren, Yeah, it struck me a bit like tone policing too.
        ‘You can say these things but only in this way, otherwise it hurts peoples feelings’ sort of thing.

        I agree with everything you’ve written about Demi, self-hate vis a vis Wilmer, and about being ladylike and not angry.

        Demi and her platform worry me though. Have ever heard about the idea of inoculation in debate? Where a weak counter argument actually makes the defense stronger?
        I worry Demi is constantly making the weak argument. Just enough to convince people she’s wrong. Because she is wrong on a lot, and her feminism is deeply steeped in her selfishness.

      • Wren says:

        @Detritus, it worries me too. She opens herself up for so much criticism and really weakens her own arguments with much of what she says. It sucks, and I really don’t want to defend her, but I’m so appalled at everyone’s reaction that I feel like I can’t just let it go. I don’t think she’s right to be critical of others, but almost nobody is willing to even consider what makes her that way. Acknowledging why someone does what they do doesn’t mean you condone it. I think she has a very valid point. I wish she wasn’t so wounded that she feels that she has to lash out. Being on the defensive is never a good look on anyone but it’s also hard to snap out of it if you feel like everything is an attack. Which if you’re a young woman in show business it probably often is. I would love to see her find real security and self confidence. It would help her cause a lot.

    • Anon332 says:

      “But the problem is that you can’t definitively tell by looking at a thin woman whether she’s naturally-thin or if she’s starving herself to look like that. So as soon as you make that leap by assuming that a woman has an ED instead of being naturally-thin, you’re making an unfair judgment on her body type. There’s no getting away from that. And yes, I absolutely believe that thin people are often stigmatized, just in a different way than overweight people are.”

      I agree with this comment so much!! I’m 5’10″, and my body weight has been at 125- 130 lbs. since I stopped breastfeeding my youngest 3 years ago. This is the weight my body wants to be at– no calorie restrictions, fasting, or unhealthy habits.

      It gets really annoying when people insinuate that my weight is the result of unhealthy actions, and I can’t stand when people ask me if I eat.

      • detritus says:

        Anon, you are a rarity. I’m going to try something here and I’m not trying to be condescending or an ass, so call me out as I go.

        Since most bodies get to that weight through unhealthy means, people look askance at you because you are basically a human unicorn. Same with naturally slender women with large breasts. When you exist at the very end of the spectrum people start to ask questions because unhealthy behaviour to get there is more common than no effort and naturally thin.

        This isn’t fair, but neither is the fact that your genetics gives you a body that fashion considers ideal. The stigma probably comes from jealousy, as opposed to the stigma that comes from overweight – which stems from disgust and belief that overweight is caused by personal failings.

        This isn’t to trivialize what you’ve faced, but to give perspective on how thin and heavy are treated very differently.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        I concur, but it still sounds like excuses are being made for judging based on appearance alone and it still hurts. It doesn’t matter that it stems from jealousy. Who cares where meanness’ roots are when you’re simply feeling the sting of being judged, accused, talked smack about, ganged up on, and ostracized, because I’m here to tell you, that yes, natural thin is rare and apparently so is thin by effort, because thin women have 70% of the female population acting like they hate our guts because OMG! Their boyfriends might think we’re hotter. Sorry to come on strong, but the excuses made are maddening. I seriously don’t think it matters if hate comes from jealousy or disgust. Hate is hate and being on the receiving end of it hurts no matter where it’s coming from. I admit I am jaded and beyond sick of being treated like a harlot when the fact is, it’s their problem and if their boyfriend did stare at me or make a disparaging remark, shame on the boyfriend, not me. The boo hoos and woe is me should be pointed at those who whine about their appearance but won’t do the hard work to change it. Anon is not a human unicorn. In any other country, she would be the norm. It is only in America that heavy is the norm. It is only in America that thin women are treated like crap by the 70% plus heavy women who may be the norm, but only because we are the most overweight country in the world.

      • detritus says:

        JJ
        Ok, lemme give this a go. Thank you for responding, I obviously have some work to do because what I posted got a pretty emotional reaction from you. That’s not my intent.

        In my slang wording, Anon’s a unicorn because she’s healthy, yet 125 is quite outside the BMI for healthy weight at 5’10″. A statistical anomaly is less nice, but more semantically correct, as that weight and height are not even close to average or the norm.

        Now, America may be the worst when it comes to a weight crisis, but it is not alone. Every single country coming out of third world status has been impacted by the overweight/obesity epidemic. Every single nation, with the exception of South Korea (which they think is due to the huge pressure and focus on cultural foods).

        The reality is that overweight is not caused solely by a lack of hard work, as you indicated in your point of ‘those who whine about their appearance, but won’t do the hard work to change it’. It is a multifaceted issue that intertwines class, money, education, resources, gender, ethnic group, etc. This was the exact point I was making, frequently thinness is seen as a virtue, whereas heaviness is a personal failing.

        “I’m here to tell you, that yes, natural thin is rare and apparently so is thin by effort, because thin women have 70% of the female population acting like they hate our guts because OMG! Their boyfriends might think we’re hotter. ”

        Do you see how this sentence might be incendiary? I like that you at least feigned that heavier women might be considered more attractive to some, but due to your overall tone the impression is that you are being disingenuous.

        It does very much matter where the hatred is coming from, this is why institutionalized racism is more harmful than prejudice. Someone snarking if you’ve eaten a sandwich is very different than society as a whole telling you that you are less attractive and valuable. There is no fantasy realm in America where overweight women are lauded as you seemed to imply. It doesn’t exist.

        This seems to be coming from your own feelings of being mistreated. While you are very justified to feel this, especially if you have been treated poorly because of your weight, the over all effect of being thin is a positive. You are treated better than a heavy woman. I don’t think you can disagree with that.

      • virginfangirl says:

        I’m 5’5″ and fluctuate from about 118 to 125 lbs, so thin. And I used to be thinner when younger. When people commented on my weight, I always felt lucky that I was naturally thin and said as much. I often would say I take after my dad who is also thin. I was never insulted. Maybe because those in my family are either thin or obese, so I am just so grateful that I am lucky enough to be naturally thin.

      • JenniferJustice says:

        My passionate responses do come from my own experience and I am bitter about it. I keep hearing and reading stats and claims that overweight and obesity stem from many facets other besides being lazy and undisciplined. I’m sure that’s true in the overall national even global view of obesity, but in my personal little world, the women who mistreat me and other women they feel threatened by, do not have mental issues or medical conditions. I can only speak to my own little bubble of a world, so I realize the people I am in contact with and interact with on a daily basis may not be indicative of the entire overweight population of the world. But it’s difficult not to see them as representing the women at issue here. I work in a large firm – four story building with approximately 100 employees. 90% of them are women. 80-85% of them are overweight. They hang out in cliques based on floor and department. They treat the few of us thinner ones like dirt, talk crap about behind our backs, do passive aggressive things to sabotage our work, hold back our productivity, and make catty remarks when we get bonuses or are lauded at all staff meetings. I’ve been at this same firm for twenty years. Most of them have been here 10+ years. I know their stories. Not one of them has a medical condition or mental issues so far as “disorders”. They ARE lazy and undisciplined. They are mean spirited and jealous. They have every opportunity to lose weight but would rather maintain the status quo but be hateful to those that don’t. I do find it interesting that the other thin ladies at work are the attorneys and directors. It is not a resource or money or accessibility issue. We all get free gym memberships. It is about personalities and environment. Most of the attorney ladies come from professional families where academia is assumed. Most of their parents are/were attorneys. Most of these ladies are very health-conscience. They were brought up in family environments that promoted healthy living and more importantly, working for a pay-off whether it be education, health, or money. They work for to achieve the goal they want. The women who are overweight are mostly support staff (secretaries). They are sedentary, slow-moving, eat the wrong foods, do not work out, but there are so many of them, it’s accepted and they have a brood of friends just like them. I do not think genetics has near the impact on a person’s body as their environment does. Your family’s genetics may determine how you will carry weight but it does not mean you will be heavy just because your parents were. It is the environment they grew up in that determined their measure of activity, motivation, and diet. I also don’t believe metabolism is determined by genetics. Environment determines metabolism. If you’re raised by high-energy parents, you will most likely be high-energy yourself. If you’re raised with sedentary parents, you will most likely have a slow metabolism and be sedentary yourself. It is something they can change, but they don’t want to because it’s difficult. I understand not wanting to take on a challenge you aren’t forced to but if something that makes you unhappy, miserable even, and mean to others not like you, it’s time to take the plunge and do what needs to be done to bring about change. So, I guess from my point of view, dealing with the people I’ve dealt with, I don’t have alot of sympathy. I’m sorry they’re in the state they’re in, but I’m frustrated with the lack of motivation to change it. My grandmother used to say, “shit or get off the pot!” meaning do something about it or stop complaining.

        Your last paragraph basically states that because I’m deemed more attractive on average than a heavier person, I am treated better. By whom? Random men who cat-call or babies responding to attractiveness? Certainly not by the majority of other women and it’s not just about jealousy. I have a great job. I’ve worked hard for it and I continue to work hard at it, but I had to prove myself beyond the men at my same firm and beyond the what was expected of the heavier women. Why? Because I must have slept my way to the top or flirted my way into my position. Heaven forbid I be thin and smart! I have had men say and do the most disgusting things to me – i guess because they resent a woman they have no chance with. I don’t really know. I’ve never asked them. I had a man jack-off in his car while driving next to me down the highway! My husband has made enemies with other men over stupid things they think they have a right to say about me either behind his back that gets back to him, or worse, some have been stupid enough to make sexual innuendos about me or to me in front of him. Some of my son’s friends’ mothers are leary of me. I don’t get the benefit of a doubt. I have to prove myself – over and over again – that I’m smart, that I’m not a threat, that I don’t want your man, that I don’t starve myself or do drugs, that I’m not a conceited bitch, and funnily enough – how many times women assume I must have been a cheerleader in high school. That’s got to be the funniest thing I encounter and it’s happened multiple times. I was shy and quiet in school because I was on the receiving end of jealous hate that early on. I resent the assumption that I must have it easy. That it’s all a blessing and I should be eternally grateful. It has it’s benefits, but it’s also a curse and any thin good-looking woman will agree with me. It is both a blessing and a curse. Finding friends who don’t eventually get jealous or feel some kind of competition has been my challenge in life. I’ve found a lot of friends but it took me a long time and a lot of weeding out after betrayals and disloyalties surfaced. Please don’t make assumptions. You know what the only really great thing about it is? That after 23 years, my husband still has the hots for me. Honestly, that’s about it. Everything else is shallow and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. It’s a shell that will rot when my soul floats away.

    • detritus says:

      Also, thank you ladies – those who disagreed, as well as agreed, with me. Having a respectful debate on these issues gives me a lot of perspective, and I very much appreciate that.

  19. JA says:

    Her insecurities are really going to be her downfall.

  20. Jusayin says:

    Oh good. So she just told skinny girls their bodies aren’t normal. Way to go Demi because all teen girls are overweight and nobody is naturally skinny so let’s just tear the down. I wish she would just stop talking.

    She wasn’t there when my sister and friends were treated cruelly because they were skinny. People felt it was totally ok to make fun of them. Demi wasn’t there when my sister was drinking disgusting weight gain shakes because of the constant cruel remarks. So get off your high horse Demi. It’s amazing to me the people that drone on and on about feminism and how you shouldn’t tear down a woman on how she looks are usually the people doing just that and are totally slamming other women. SMH.

    • albalilium says:

      Word. I am naturally skinny and have been abused by other people my whole life. My relatives, strangers on the street telling me that i am sick or poor or starving myself on purpose. Girls in school were spreading rumors that i had worms in my stomach that ate the food and thats why i was skinny :) . I drinked those shakes and stuffed myself with food to gain a little weight to be “normal” and accepted, until one day i throw up from over eating. It was a wake up call. I still get remarks on my weight but i’ve learned to ignore them or to speak back.

  21. Lalu says:

    I think she’s a really pretty girl especially with those freckles. Too bad she doesn’t believe it. She walks around with a huge chip on her shoulder and projecting like crazy. She is her own worst enemy and harshest critic… No one else cares.

  22. Nina says:

    Girl is so clearly not as body positive as she claims to be when all she does is try to convince others that everyone needs to have a body like hers. But as someone with her share of body issues, I do feel where she’s coming from. It’s just too bad that she can’t be more introspective and quietly deal with her issues, rather than run her yap across every media outlet.

    That being said, Taylor is gross. The fact that the sentence, “she does try to be inclusive with her squad and has had average-sized women at her parties, like Uzo Aduba and Lena Dunham” even exists is proof of how calculating and fake she is. Like she’s got an inclusivity quota to meet. Ugh.

  23. Lucy says:

    Hopefully one day she’ll be able to get over her many insecurities, and solve her many attitude problems.

  24. Michelina says:

    I thought I liked her until I began reading more interviews with her. Now I just find her so damn insufferable. Who was it that she was flipping out about on Twitter not long ago, going off on tangents about how they don’t represent women’s empowerment? As if she’s the expert on the subject. I believe it was Taylor Swift, after Taylor donated money that Kesha desperately needed to pay off some legal debt in her battle against “Dr. Luke.” It was particularly stupid, strange, and uncalled for considering that Kesha and her mother were thanking Taylor profusely because they really needed that money. Say what you want about Taylor, I’m certainly not a fan of hers, but that will forever go down as awesome of her in my book.

    The problem with Demi is that her execution is always WAY off. She was trying to make a point about having a healthy body image, so she goes and leaves a comment on a piece of art work created by a fan that was basically “aww, nice try, but no thanks because I look nothing like that” I mean come on. Think before you speak/type. She got pissed that Taylor upstaged her, so she flipped out about how Taylor’s actions don’t represent the empowerment of women.

    She seems to believe that she has more power/influence than she does, and I’m very thankful that she does not because she says so much dumb shit. For every “average sized” young woman, there are just as many who are under- or overweight and they don’t need to read some moron pop star commenting about how only her body type is normal.

    She needs to move the hell on. She hasn’t done anything to help the issue at hand, she just continuously drags it up and makes dumb comments about it.

  25. Josefina says:

    The cover looks like Lea Michelle.

    I think Demi sounds pretty hateful and judgy in her message of body positivity. It only doesnt look bad because she’s defending the less priviledged group regarding body policing. I liked Demi for a short while but the more I read her opinions, the further she pushed me away.

  26. Jayna says:

    When I was in my early to mid twenties, most of my friends, including me, were slender. Big deal. We were young and a faster metabolism. I didn’t realize that’s not normal also. LOL. Thanks, Demi, for educating me.

  27. Happy21 says:

    I used to really like what Demi had to say and now I’m sick to death of it and find her nauseating. She needs to STFU and sit down. What is ‘normal’? And maybe that body type is ‘normal’ to those girls. And last time I checked Lena Dunham didn’t look like a supermodel and Hailee Steinfeld (or whatever her name is) wasn’t supermodel material either. Not saying Taylor’s ‘squad’ is ideal or what have you but the question is who the hell is Ms. Lovato to say what is ‘normal’. I guess she is so obviously ‘normal’. (insert eyeroll here)

  28. MSat says:

    Lena Dunham doesn’t have a “normal” body? Whatever.

    Honestly, if this chick wasn’t slamming people on social media, nobody would give a crap about her. Which she knows. Which is why she keeps doing it.

    Talented, but sooooo thirsty. And boring.

  29. Sam says:

    Taylor Swift has her squad of models, singers, actresses etc but those are people within her profession and sometimes she’s worked with them so it’s not shocking. It’s not shocking that most of her friends look like her. Most of those people have a certain type because surprise welcome to Hollywood. That doesn’t mean they’re not “normal” or whatever Demi is saying. She needs to stop talking. Every time she opens her mouth she’s showing her true self and it’s not pretty.

  30. hogtowngooner says:

    “[S]he claims to be body positive and inclusive. Funny how that doesn’t extend to women who are thinner than her. It’s like the only body type that deserves praise is her own. Also, it’s telling that being around models is “triggering” to her. That’s their job to be thin. It’s not personal.”

    Can you post this on her Instagram please? We know she reads it.

    I get she’s had issues with EDs but she’s become so self-righteous and sanctimonious she’s become her own worst enemy. Anything anyone does with respect to weight/bodies has to become about her, including simply being an existing person who is thin. She simply HAS to insert herself in every story about it because she’s appointed herself the arbiter of all that is body-positivity.

    If she’s as secure as she claims to be, things like this shouldn’t even register on her radar. Where the hell does she get off making assumptions about someone else’s weight/figure/diet? If someone said those things about her, she’d jump on IG and label them a “dangerous, bodyshaming hater” She’s such a hypocrite.

    • Sasha says:

      She must have very low self esteem and she is in denial about it. I suspect it has a lot to do with that awful guy she dated for many years.

  31. Sam says:

    Also I want to add, who cares who Taylor Swift is or isn’t friends with or what they look like. I didn’t realize there was some friendship police that Taylor has to abide by.

  32. serena says:

    There’s really something wrong with Demi on that cover.

  33. Sasha says:

    I missed the boat yesterday with the mermaid picture. She was upset that the mermaid was too svelte with big breasts and didn’t look like her in real life.
    Then I looked at the original photo which was the basis for the fan picture. There was so much photoshop, she didn’t look like herself either. And she was positioned to look much skinner than she really is. The mermaid picture didn’t look like her but it was pretty close to the photo it was based on.
    I think, hypocrisy is the word I was looking for.

  34. Cinderella says:

    Disney really knows how to screw ‘em up.

    Demi’s issues will never allow her to see how attractive she really is. Her figure is great. Her short, sassy bob was one of my favorites. Her face is very pretty. She will forever be comparing herself to the Swifties of the world. Such a waste of time.

    Swifty only let LD in her circle because LD grabs a lot of attention. Otherwise Swifty wouldn’t be caught dead with her.

    • Sam says:

      Just want to point out that not many people know who Lena Dunham is. She and her fans think she’s more famous than she is. Like you really think Taylor Swift is friends with her because LD has this large fan base or is super famous?

  35. Marianne says:

    I do like Demi’s music but she is becoming increasingly more annoying. A) You can’t say you’re all for female empowerment/body empowerment and then tear down a bunch of women for not having “normal” body types.

    Plus, I also find it hypocritical that she’s calling out celebrities for not doing “more” when it comes to feminism and yet all she does is send some tweets out. What else is she doing?

  36. Jeanette says:

    I dont know if she is growing up all of the sudden on me or if they have photoshopped her chin and jawline as well, but I had to click to make sure that was really her. She looks REALLY different to me here.

  37. sunny says:

    This poor woman needs to accept that she will never be a model. That’s ok and to spend your life hating on others that didn’t do anything other than be born looking a certain way, is so ridiculous and such a waste. All anyone can do is do the best with what you’ve been given and it’s better to just accept it and get over it. What does any of this behavior accomplish?

  38. Erica_V says:

    She so clearly doesn’t see the things she’s pointing fingers at as wrong are the exact same things she’s doing.

  39. eggy weggs says:

    You guys have all covered all the body comments, etc., so I am going to say this to Demi along with that other little thirsty young lady who insists on wearing cheap clothes and shaming us for commenting on it (what is her name?): The next time you see a stylist coming at you with a pleather jacket — or even a real leather jacket that LOOKS fake — slap it out of their hands. Ditto ringer tees; cut-out anything; strappy band-aid dresses, and limit the off-the-shoulder stuff to maybe 1/3 the photos spread. I did a google image search and I can say I have never seen Demi in anything other than black with some studs or bold graphics that typically look one week away from the clearance section. It’s all so hard-edged, yucky synthetics and too much contouring makeup.

    So, they chiseled most of the makeup off her. How about now we try putting her in some natural fibers, some muted seasonal earth tones, some dark fall florals? I mean anything to get her out of this cycle of bad synthetics! Please!

  40. MSat says:

    Aaaand she is already tweeting about “taking a break” from media/Hollywood. This is what she does. Says something incredibly hypocritical with zero self-awareness, gets called out on it, and then threatens to quit the business.

    I think there’s something wrong with her.

  41. Adele Dazeem says:

    Re: the models. I look at my choice of career, and how I spend 8 hours a day (Actually more, but just for arguments sake) working at my job, improving myself to be the best (insert job title here) I can be. I’m constantly trying to improve my skills and increase my knowledge.

    What if my job were to be a model? 8 hours a day, five days a week, working at my appearance. Hell yeah, I’d be working out and getting facials and having a private chef cook me the perfect foods and I’d look AMAZEBALLS because it’s my job.

    Why is she offended by models and why do we hold ourselves to those standards? Should we all be jealous/triggered by what a great (insert job title here) Other people are? Where you put your water and sunshine is where the grass grows.

  42. LaMaitresse says:

    She’s such a tedious young woman. The irony is, her album covers and magazine covers are retouched considerably, yet she’s not vocal about this fact.

  43. Mark says:

    Demi Lovato shouldn’t care about Taylor Swift, but she needs attention.

  44. LAK says:

    I’m so sick of people like her who tell us thin women that we are not normal and or being around us is triggering. It’s so offensive.

  45. Veronica says:

    I think it’s hypocritical of her on the basis that her body probably isn’t “normal” either in the sense that maintaining it is part of her job, but I do get what she’s saying about the kind of image these celebrities foster in terms of who they associate with and how those standards are impressed on very young women. I mean, yeah, slim, lithe body types are hardly abnormal. However, I do question how “normal” the model body is in the sense that it’s capable of being maintained in an average person’s lifestyle given what we’ve been told about how some of the women maintain it. I know plenty of thin, fit women. I don’t know very many women with who are 5’9+ with BMIs under 18 and 34-23-34 measurements who aren’t dedicating every day to maintaining that build through constant exercise and restricted diets.

  46. April says:

    What happend to not policing other women’s choices and body? I mean isn’t feminism about breaking unfair standards imposed on women and letting them make choices about their lives and bodies without being judged? I unslderstand that tall, thin women are the most widely accepted standard of beauty nowadays and is an unfair representation, but saying that curvy is better and that looking like a model isn’t normal does not make the already skewed world more equal. It simply changes the standards imposed on women’s bodies which is unfair because obviously, different women have different bodies. I mean, naturally thin can be as normal as naturally curvy. Why is there a movement shifting the ideal to a certain body type to another? Why not accept that any body type can be normal and should be represented? In that case, women feeling oppresed shouldn’rt be attacking other women who fit into the ideal. Women should be attacking the system that impose these standards.

    I understand that some tall and thin people get their bodies in unhealthy ways, but isn’t it the same for curvy women with plastic surgeries? I might be the minority here but whatever a woman does with her body is her choice, be it starving or surgical enhancements even over eating. It’s her life. As long as she doesn’t impose her own standards at us, why should we care?

    As for putting a certain body type onto a pedestal and making young women feel inadequate, i still dont understand why the blame is put on individual women. It should be on the people or istitutions choosing to promote a very exclusive ideal. Maybe, just maybe, we should teach young women and ourselves not to measure ourselves against the standards imposed by popular media. To me that’s excersising choice.

  47. Red says:

    Talk about something other than your body and maybe people will think of you as something other than a body. She is so ANNOYING and I’ve never even heard/seen her work.