Tom Ford covers the new issue of Out Magazine, the Out 100 list. Ford is being recognized for his return to directing, with the soon-to-be-released Nocturnal Animals. It’s one of the fall films I can’t wait to see. Plus, I enjoy Tom Ford’s interviews. He’s an interesting guy and he is – in his own words – an “obsessive-compulsive Virgo,” which I relate to. Virgos, man. We’d quietly pick up all the trash in the world if someone would let us. Anyway, here are some quotes from Ford’s Out interview, plus some quotes from a recent interview he did with the Radio Times.
Moving his 4-year-old son from England to LA: “He’s losing his English accent very quickly, which I’m a little sad about. He hasn’t started saying ‘awesome’ yet, which he absolutely cannot say. He cannot start saying ‘awesome.’ ” What other words or phrases are banned in the Ford-Buckley residence? “The worst for me is ‘my bad.’ It’s like a country of infants! You hear adults saying things like that — I’m shocked.”
The “obsessive-compulsive Virgo.” “I sound like an old man a lot of times because I am old-fashioned and formal in many ways. If Jack would meet you, he would put out his hand and say, ‘Hello, Mr. Hicklin,’ and he’d look you in the eye.”
He hates Donald Trump: “What. If. He. Wins!?” He likes Trevor Noah’s “Cinnamon Hitler” sobriquet for the Republican nominee and believes Trump’s populist demagoguery has been nurtured by America’s failing education system. “Unfortunately, a lot of people are not educated enough to realize that he actually doesn’t have a plan, cannot even make a sentence, and that’s where we have failed as a country — through education.”
Becoming a father in his 50s: “I always wanted kids. But I really had a bad drinking problem. I couldn’t have had Jack in that state — I’d have dropped him down the stairs and accidentally burned him with a cigarette.” He compares parenthood to jumping off a cliff but says there’s only one thing he has truly had to sacrifice. “You give up the right to kill yourself. And I kind of liked that, because it’s the ultimate out. Also, I hurt my back. Jack’s heavy now. You realize why most people have their kids when they’re in their 20s or 30s.”
He’s not into materialism anymore: “Contemporary culture tells you that it is possible to achieve happiness, and it’s not. You can have happy moments, happy days, but you’re also going to have things that are devastating in your life, whether you’re rich or poor. Everyone today is on anti-depressants. It sounds weird coming from me, a fashion designer, but we all have expectations of life that can’t actually be achieved. The things that make me happy are the people in my life. Your parents tell you the best things in life are free and you go, ‘Yeah, yeah, the best things are a new apartment and a shiny new car.’”
[From Out & The Daily Mail]
Is it wrong that I sort of agree with his assessment about education? I’m also really worried about Donald Trump’s “base” – the 40% of people who think that Trump sounds coherent or even sane. Then again, I say “my bad” and “awesome.” So Tom Ford would not approve of me. As for what he says about materialism… yeah, I get it. Happiness is a warm bed and a good book rather than a Rolls Royce. But Ford only came to Jesus on materialism after selling the lux life for decades.
Photos courtesy of Out Magazine, WENN.
I like what he says about Trump and education. But I also think some people are just willfully ignorant and plugging their ears. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the people I know who voted for him if he wins. Angry is an understatement.
I totally agree with him on this. The states with the lowest performing public schools are the most solid for Trump. They also happen to be the states with the greatest amount of federal funding for entitlement programs … but that is another conversation altogether.
I don’t think you are quite right about that…. Texas and Florida (Trump) both have substantially better public schools system than California (HRC). Likewise, New Mexico has one of the worst school systems in the nation and will be voting for HRC. I think a lot of it falls down to state culture. That being said… the public school system in America is a joke and needs major reform for EVERY state.
“An informed citizenry is at the heart of a dynamic democracy.” -Jefferson
I work in the education in one of those states. Here’s the thing: every election, the biggest voter turnout *by far* is white men. Everyone else barely shows up. So it’s white men who are deciding our elections. They also overwhelming make up our state government. We of course have as many women as any other state, and many of them living in poverty, and a bit more POC than most blue states. And among out poor there is a large number of disabled people, because 1) poverty causes disability (be it mental or physical health) and 2) disabled people statistically are more likely to live in poverty than non-disabled, So why don’t they vote? In huge part because they feel unrepresented, disenfranchised and disengaged by a government that doesn’t care about them. For not-poor white men–or privileged women who haven’t any idea what it’s like to live in a red state where you are treated like ****, especially if you’re a poor woman or a disabled woman or a woman of color–it’s easy to think “Why don’t they just vote?” But this is something with deep roots that needs more than GOTV and a “liberal” candidate (*choke*) that feigns concern about them, who reeks of political cynicism and who say things like how single payer health care (which would greatly benefit the poor, disabled and POC who are shut out of our current “affordable” health care system) will “never, ever” happen in the US (even though just about every other industrialized nation has it). It’s about how dysfunctional our society is and how that dysfunction hurts women, the poor and POC more than white men, who as result feel like society is just fine because it works for *them*, as long as they can keep those other people from screwing it up. Is it really about an individual’s education? Only if you’re elitist and classist enough to think that. And look who’s saying this–a rich, famous white dude. OK.
I agree as well. Studies have actually shown that people who are more highly education are more likely to vote democrat. The republicans know this, which is why they have been systematically undermining the education system for the past 20-30 years; the only way they can maintain some sort of voter base is by ensuring enough of the population lacks critical thinking skills and knowledge of history/science, etc.
Are more likely to vote Democrat? Or liberal/progressive? Links, please. Because there is a BIG difference, especially since the Dems have been moving to the right since the 90s. I’ve always been progressive, I have graduate level education and come from parents who had a masters and a PhD. And I *do not* vote Democrat. The most progressive, educated people I have known don’t vote vote Democrat. I probably would have sat out of the Clinton-era elections if it weren’t for my Master thesis director, one of the most compassionate, educated and intelligent human being I have ever been blessed to know saying he was voting for Nader because Nader had to courage to stand up to the auto industry for change that helped the greater good. Meanwhile Clinton and his admin helped criminalize poverty and created the legal framework that resulted in our current mass incarceration epidemic (in large part to the “legacy” of Joe Biden). Also Clinton and his wars helps move the Dems from being anti-war to pro-war, and they have been mocking and beating up on anti-war liberals ever since. These are the things that I think about when I go to vote, because I choose to think critically and *remember* that Bill and company *were not* progressive and hurt a lot of people who liberals are suppose to be fighting for.
Education does not matter, in this arument. Not all conservatives are dumb.
So, if you say “awesome” or “my bad” you are vapid and uneducated, according to Tom Ford, but believing in astrology is…. erudite? High Culture?
I agree with Mr. Ford. I find it awful when the principal of my child’s grade school is speaking with a parent and says “My Bed” Really!?!?!!? Or you are meeting with the manager of a company and they have a 5th grade vocabulary. If you want to speak like that with your friends. Fine. But in business, you should be able to speak in a business like manner. No “hey” “like” “you Know”. One of the things (and there are many) that I find upsetting about Trump is that he has the vocabulary of a 4th grader. He knows five adverbs and five adjectives. It is either really great, realy bad, the best, really amazing, really huge, tremendous, really terrific, or really good. We are going to win. I am going to be really tough. No it starts are home and if you teach you children to explain their vocabulary then they will.
+1
@crtb: Edited because I admit I only skimmed your post. I only agree with Mr. Ford in the sense that there are times when slang is inappropriate (your principal example being one). I’m including the rest of my post below, though not addressing it to you specifically, because I think Tom Ford sounds incredibly pompous about the subject.
FUN FACT: I wrote a paper on slang in a linguistics course: slang is GOOD for your brain. It improves your memory and cognitive flexibility as it forces your brain to actively analyze a sentence, much the way reading Shakespeare does, because it is a different form of speech than you are used to. When one listens to someone such as Tom Ford, let’s say, our brain is in a passive mode because it is speech that we are used to and familiar with and doesn’t challenge us… that is, unless Mr. Ford wants to improve his vocabulary. For someone so educated, or that likes to be perceived so, his lexicon is sadly lacking. BOOM, I can be as pretentious as he is and I still use slang. So there. 🙂
ITA – i work in media and cringe so much when I hear the words ‘like’ and ‘you know’ used when dealing with clients in a professional manner, the act as if the client is their best friend.
+2
I have a friend who is very uneducated (high school dropout) and he will say, “Can you borrow me ten bucks?” instead of “Can you loan me” or “Can I borrow.” What REALLY drives me nuts is he constantly says “He don’t” instead of “He doesn’t.”
ITA
I’m always surprised by the number of otherwise intelligent people who take that nonsense seriously. Y’all, astrology was a way for people with little understanding of the stars and biology to make sense out of the chaos in their lives. It’s not real.
Thank you. I’m not a huge fan of poor grammar and hyperbolic expressions, but I’m sorry, referring to yourself by your star sign makes you seem pretty dumb too.
It’s as real as every religion in the world. You can’t believe in God and claim Astrology is a farce. Immaculate conception, 72 virgins, and a fiery hell aren’t any more believable than stars and planets affecting human behavior. I’m not saying that to you specifically, by the way, just in general.
I totally agree, KB. There’s no conclusive evidence for any of it, so people should be free to believe whatever they like.
A-to the effing-MEN! Don’t tell me I sound stupid when I say “my bad” or “awesome” when you reference your star sign with the same authority you would your blood type, health history, or social security number. Puh-lease.
Tom Ford has incredibly high standards. I do not conform to most of them. I really, really appreciate his ascetic. He is also rather attractive.
yes he is very attractive him and Olivier Rousteing of Balmain
You give up the right to kill yourself, speaking solely as a parent who suffered from suicidal thoughts from depression, ive never understood him more
Double post…sorry!
That one hit me too…
I disagree. Parents who suicide because of depression don’t do it because they don’t care about their kids enough. They do it because their pain has become unbearable. Saying otherwise is like saying you give up the right to die from cancer when you’re a parent. Depression is an illness.
What do you disagree with…the fact that what he said resonates with us? You don’t get to decide what speaks to me.
Who said anything about “not caring about your kids enough”? And where does cancer (something we have very little control over and is certainly NOT the same as suicide?) come into this argument? Did you post in the wrong spot?
I interpreted his quote about giving up the right to kill yourself when you become a parent as meaning your sense of love, care or duty to your kid should override any compulsion you might have to kill yourself. How did you interpret it?
I interpreted it as suicide, especially when you have a little person depending on you, is the ultimate selfish act. You’re putting your needs (death) before your kids’ needs (family, a parent). Depression is one thing, suicide is another.
It sounds like you had a tough time, but you’re lucky that your depression wasn’t severe enough to overwhelm your ability to find a reason to live. Not everyone is that fortunate.
I agree @Amanduh
Depression is a horrible debilitating illness. It is something that happens to you. It’s not a choice. But I’m sorry suicide *is* a choice. Having said that, I still empathize with people who get to the point where they feel they have no other option.
Depression isn’t the only reason people end their lives. But if that’s your argument, I say maybe those suffering from clinical depression should think long and hard about having kids at all. Having children is selfish anyway but having them when you are in no shape to care for them? Not the best decision. And that’s not limited to depression.
The thing about suicide is a person’s brain can cause one to do crazy things if it is not cared for properly. I once knew a man who jumped to his death from a 5th floor balcony. He had two children and he was a very kind man. I don’t think he wanted his children to experience the inevitable terrible suffering one feels when a parent commits suicide, but the man hadn’t slept well or at all in days/maybe weeks. He obviously wasn’t thinking straight or rationally so how can I judge him? I believe we are ALL capable of suicide under the right conditions. That being said, I still can empathize with Tom’s words from a rational perspective.
+1000 Zimmerman
Tho I haven’t suffered from suicidal thoughts, I think I understand him too. You become so intensely aware of the need to be and stay alive because someone is entirely dependent on you. It also heightens a sense of vulnerability. The first thing I think of when a doctor tells me some interesting news is, “But you have to keep me alive, I have a child…” It feels like urgent, powerful information.
I get needing to look after your health. I gave up smoking when I found out I was going to become a parent. Whenever I’m feeling a bit morbid I tell myself I have to hang around until my youngest is thirty.
Yes, this resonated for me as well.
I totally get it. I don’t think suicide is selfish at all, it’s just the last option you sometimes have when you feel you’ve exhausted everything else I think and you’ve only got plan Z now, but when you have a little one, it makes you that more aware of the consequences on your child’s life then anyone else. My two cents.
The Sixlets say “awesome” and their curmudgeonly grandfather tells them they’re not American. Then they go about saying “absolutely marvellous, daaaaahling” because they know their curmudgeonly grandfather hates posh-isms even more than non-British superlatives.
The problem with education is that critical thinking has been sacrificed to make it easier for large companies (hello Pearson in the US and various profit-making exam bodies in the UK) to make loads of profit off standardised testing.
Spot on with what is wrong with education. Retired 11 years ago from teaching 30 years and it was just beginning (the testing) and the under the breath threats to the teachers that if your students didn’t do well your job was in jeopardy. Can’t imagine being a teacher today.
We have diabolical teacher retention rates here in the UK and I think this is the reason.
Swak, I retired 2 1/2 yrs. ago just when the Common Core Crap was starting, and the testing pressure was unbelievable. A parent (whose kid was in the other Third grade class) actually “ratted” on for using an old online test to help prep my students (which were on the District’s website!). She thought my class was getting an edge over the other class (the other teacher wasn’t doing much of anything for prep). I had parents emailing me like hens pecking on corn; I’d be getting emails on a Saturday night at 9/10 p.m.! It was insane!
Every staff meeting was pretty much devoted to raising scores. They made us use our lunch time (35 min.) to have “working lunch meetings) to come up with grade level methodology for testing. I just couldn’t take the stress anymore.
Moving from the US to Canada was such a relief because of the relative absence of standardized testing. The rapid ascent of free-market principles into the US public education system has been a disaster.
This is my bugbear!
Public services, including education, are stabilising forces in a market economy not markets of themselves. The second you introduce market forces into public services, you ensure that the inevitable peaks and troughs in the functioning of a market economy are exaggerated, making recessions twice as bad as they need to be.
In education specifically, standardising learning for profit also has a negative drag on what market economies actually need, which is the capacity to innovate.
As always Sixer you … to use the dreaded slang … hit the nail on the head.
When the USA manages to view a public good as a public good, such as an income floor for older people (Social Security) or free-to-low-cost post-secondary education (such as when New York’s City College was free to all, or the states’ university system), it gets things very right. But when it lets private enterprise take over public goods, the most obvious example being health care, the results are terrible, and amplified by the size of the country.
Private interests convinced public leadership that their intrusion into the public sphere would bring “innovation” and “reform.” What a bill of goods that was. That’s when we heard GW Bush conflate capitalism with democracy. And here we are.
Amen to that all, ladies (speaking as a teacher who left the system, in spite of great performance, because I just couldn’t deal).
As long as you when to use and when not to, informal slang is no big deal in my opinion. It has nothing to do wth education. One of my best friends is a Ph.D. And swears like a sailor outside of work. The Trump rise on the other hand has everything to do with a lack of education in history and economics. Most immigrants coming over the southern boarder are doing so to escape situations that are direct result of failed US policies. From the more recent drug war to a series of military interventions spanning more than a century, we are at least partly to blame for the mess in Central Amercia and Mexico. I see the immigrant issue as a “you brake it, you buy it” kind of a thing. And what Trump supporter is going to give up a Walmart full of cheap consumer goods in order to bring back all manufacturing to the US? Not many is my guess. They complain about unions and low wages in the same breath. They support unlimited corporate finance of campaigns and then complain about out of touch politicians. We need better history, economic, and civics classes in our schools.
I agree about slang. Slang, idiom, regional or group dialects – these are all the things that make language alive and exciting. They have nothing to do with intelligence. Insisting on standardised language is the mark of a snob.
Agreed completely. I am, by all accounts, overeducated – three post-secondary degrees so far and I’m working on my PhD – and I use colloquialisms like no-one’s business, including things like ‘my bad,’ ‘I simply can’t with this’ and even the dreaded ‘dude.’
I use them because they are specifically context-different from the pseudo-equivalents ‘my apologies, that was an error on my part’, ‘I am finding it difficult to process that information appropriately at the moment’ and ‘I am mildly astonished.’
The colloquialisms and how they’re deployed trigger very different emotional reactions than the more formal versions, and convey distinct subtextual messages of their own.
In other words: audience-appropriate code-switching, motherf*cker. Learn it and love it.
Yep. And, if you think about it, the ability to code-switch is an advantage for all articulate people.
@wikeykit & @sixer, you are so spot-on it hurts. No one should tell anyone how to speak, otherwise we wouldn’t have rap, hip-hop, grime and the beauty of swearing when you’ve had a terrible day or a great idea. Works both ways and it’s equally satisfying.
It could be that Ford is concerned that these are the only ways his son will know to speak. We adults are conscious about our code-switching. It’s “Well bust my buttons!” or “No kidding” or “Is that so?” depending on the social context. It’s likely Ford’s son will start using slang amongst his peers and his dads’ terms at home.
I am sure my daughter curses a lot more when she’s with her friends. And I’m sure that she’s sure that I curse a lot more when I’m with my friends. ; )
@Sixer
Hah! I tried to argue that a while back (that the ability to code-switch is a sign of being articulate), and a few people looked at me like “sure, keep telling that to yourself”.
I have a cousin with three children – two have British accents, one has an American accent. The child who actually holds dual citizenship is one of the two with a British accent. The middle one with the American accent spent several years in US elementary schools. She’s been back a couple of years now but the accent persists. The youngest came back to Britain before starting school and the oldest had spent a couple of years at school in Britain before going to the States. I think those early school years must really matter in accent formation.
Timbuktu – well, those few people were completely wrong!
awesome designer…my bad. ☺
I like what he said about suicide and parenthood. It’s sounds morbid but it’s really a big deal for people who struggle with periods of deep depression. His comment about dealing with his drinking problem before having a child is interesting too. He sounds like a very committed loving parent. I wish him the best.
Whenever I hear middle-class people toss around the word uneducated as a pejorative it sounds a bit like classism.
It can, but at the same time there are wealthy people who are uneducated … and one of them is running for president.
He has a Bachelor of Science in Economics and she earned a J.D from Yale Law School.
So this got me checking into Trump’s vaunted Wharton degree, which he got after transferring in after 2 years at Fordham University in New York, perhaps as a favor by a family-friendly admissions officer:
http://www.thedp.com/article/2015/08/donald-trump-wharton-classmates
He’s delicious. And I agree on his thoughts about banned words ( ‘Awesome’ should only ever be used when describing The Grand Canyon or somewhere else equally awe inspiring)
Now if we could only stop with the acronyms, I’d be happy.
ITA
Haha
Well played!
My mom used to be an English teacher, and the misuse of the word ‘awesome’ drove her mental! It means awe inspiring, not “You’re having iced tea? Awesome!”. Another one that irked her big time was ‘perfect’. Once we were at the hospital so she could get a blood transfusion and the nurse checked her stats and said “perfect, perfect, awesome, good!” My mom was *literally* dying at the time; nothing was f*cking perfect, awesome, or good. Anyways, now my family and I say ‘PPAG’ all the time (in memorandum)!
I guess your mom probably finds it hard to accept the changes in usage of certain words over time (I sometimes do, too). 9 out of 10 people would agree that “awesome” means something like “terrific” now. When I was little, I loved to use the word “gay” to describe something as happy or cheerful. It still means that, of course, but certain meanings become dated and less widely known over time. Sigh!
His thoughts about Trump are awesome but the highbrow stance on slang words I can live without. My bad Tom Ford!
To be fair, he ties “my bad” to being infantile, maybe because it creates an impression of not taking full responsibility. The tone in which it’s usually said, a bit arch, sometimes preceded by “Oops,” doesn’t help. It’s been an age of people hurting people without acknowledging their careless words or deeds, and using psycho-babble and deflection to get around it. Given Ford’s age, he was raised in a world in which children were taught to say, “I’m sorry.” Even better when “I’m sorry” was followed by a full admission of what they were sorry for. The sentence structure is, “I’m sorry that I _____.” And it still sounds good to me.
But “my bad” specifically acknowledges that the “bad” is mine, how is that not taking responsibility, I’m confused? Yes, sometimes it’s said quite sarcastically, but so is “I’m sorry”.
It’s a good question. I don’t have the answer, but it does come across differently. It can rub people the wrong way. I wouldn’t use it in certain settings, such as with a supervisor at work regarding any kind of meaningful error.
So I’m googling a lot this morning:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=My%20bad
http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/5264/is-my-bad-a-correct-english-phrase
Yeah, I don’t like that phrase because it’s immature. It sounds dismissive.
He’s like a classy Dave Matthews. I like what he says about happiness…it being happy days mixed with devastating events. Money helps, but it’s not a direct deposit. What was the actual figure in that documentary Happy, $50,000? You need to make about that much a year, of course depending on your area, to meet your basic needs, past that your actual level of or ability to achieve happiness is independent of your income.
He is not into materialism but his products are crazy expensive. His makeup line is ridiculously expensive. And some of the reviews are not the best.
Happiness is directly correlated to money, up to a certain point. It’s not just about warm beds and rolls royces, it’ s about security. He doesn’t have to worry about not having a roof over his head, or not being able to afford an operation.
All these rich people talkin about how money is not important annoy me so much.
Security is the thing, isn’t it? Having enough money to be secure (in food, shelter, warmth, health) is vital for happiness. It’s only once you go past that standard you reach a place where money isn’t what makes you happy.
Oh Mr. Ford, I’m sorry your fine education didn’t include anything about astrology not being real.
He has always been a cranky ho though.
I’ve always loved Tom Ford’s esthetic but my opinion has always been to take anything he says with a boulder of salt.
*eyeroll
I almost agree with him. As guilty as I am of saying all of these things, I’m really annoyed by the current tendency toward hyping everything. You can’t just like or approve of something, it has to be PHENOMENAL or AMAZING. It begins to sound phony and lose its meaning. If everything’s amazing, nothing is! Why can’t we just say “I like this,” or “that tastes good,” instead of going nuts with the superlatives?
I agree with a lot of what he says, but he is a snob and he’s in a phase right now where he doesn’t want to own it.
As a grammar nerd, it’s awesome (tee-hee) to see so many people talking about slang and its context. It’s fine in an informal context. He should just unclench about that.
I notice that only people who have plenty of money seem to talk about the inevitable spiritual emptiness of having money. I’ll take that problem, thanks.
I have to say it: I’m REALLY tired of people who suddenly realize the sun doesn’t shine out of their ass when they have a kid. It’s not just celebrities. Really, that’s what it took for you to realize the world doesn’t revolve around your needs? Sigh.
Well said on all counts, Turtle. And I say this as a solid fan of Ford’s creativity but not much of a fan of his up-his-own-arse, self-involved entitlement.
Hm, interesting comments from Tom Ford.
Makes me think though if Emily Blunt made them, the reactions may have been entirely different… his comments – esp about his son losing his British accent – aren’t so different than what Ms. Blunt said, non?
Indeed. if Emily had said this, she’d likely be hung, drawn and quartered by now. 😉
I’ve always stuck up for Emily hereabouts!
I’m not a native english speaker and have NEVER heard that there’s something wrong with saying “my bad” or “awesome”… Can someone explain what is so “uneducated” about that?
I’m probably going to sound super pretentious, but I think that too many idioms or a lot of slang does tend to make the speaker sound less refined/educated – especially in more formal circumstances. Think of it as a verbal wardrobe. You wouldn’t show up to a first meeting with a potential employer or the CEO of a company wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
I use both “awesome” and “my bad” with people I know quite well (or on internet message boards), but I would never intentionally use either with someone whom I needed to impress – at least until I got to know them better and we developed a level of familiarity.
thank you for answering! i think i get it now.
I’ve worked with Mr. Ford and he is the best. Considerate, respectful of his team, genuinely strategic and responsible for every aspect of his business. A true class act.