Gwyneth Paltrow would love to talk to you about the state of your vadge, preferably after you steamed it properly. After you’ve steam cleaned your business and toweled it off using raw silk scented with Himalayan jasmine, Gwyneth really needs for you to stick a jade egg in there. For real. Gwyneth’s Goop site is currently selling a $60 jade egg for your vagina. From Goop:
Yoni eggs, once the strictly guarded secret of Chinese concubines and royalty in antiquity, harness the power of energy work, crystal healing, and a Kegel-like physical practice. Jade eggs’ power to cleanse and clear make them ideal for detox, too. “This particular jade, nephrite jade, has incredible clearing, cleansing powers,” says Shiva Rose; “It’s a dark, deep green and heavy—it’s a great stone for taking away negativity—and it’s definitely the one to start with.” Fans say regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general. Shiva Rose has been practicing with them for about seven years, and raves about the results; we tried them, too, and were so convinced we put them into the goop shop.
When CB sent me this story (this is my job, peeps, and I LOVE IT!), she pointed out that Yoni eggs are basically no different that the Kegel exercise weights sold on Amazon for $39.95. But would a peasant Kegel exercise weight have the same healing properties as a jade egg???? Would they also provide “hormonal balance”??? Obviously, a board-certified OB/GYN is all “what is she even talking about?”
A gynecologist has penned an open letter to Gwyneth Paltrow about the “vaginal jade eggs” currently being sold on Goop.com. Dr. Jen Gunter, a board certified in OB/GYN, calls the eggs and their health claims “the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming.” Paltrow has gotten flack for making unsubstantiated scientific claims in the past, and Gunter lays out a clear case against the many alleged benefits that Goop promises the $55 to $66 stone eggs can bring. Firstly, while Goop says the eggs can help balance hormones, Gunter points out that that is biologically impossible.
“Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones,” she writes. “As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!?”
Gunter also reveals that putting jade eggs in a vagina also creates serious health risks.
“Jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite,” she writes. That means the eggs could potentially lead to bacterial vaginosis or increase the risk of deadly toxic shock syndrome (also known as TSS). Gunter notes that, in addition to the fake health claims, the copywriting for the eggs, which says “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors,” is abysmal. “Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man!” she writes.
Yeah, pretty much. Like, I don’t mind that Gwyneth is encouraging conversations about vaginas. I don’t mind that she’s doing her part to de-stigmatize those conversations. But I do mind that her messages are consistently driven by consumerism, elitism, pseudo-science and very dated concepts of “how to keep your man.”
Photos courtesy of WENN.