Samantha Bee only eats dark chocolate: ‘Don’t come near me with milk chocolate’

I feel like Samantha Bee doesn’t get the same credit as some of the male political talk show hosts, and she’s really kicking ass. I’m going to watch her show more because it often slips my mind unless it’s making headlines and that isn’t as often as it deserves. You can see her latest episode via Pajiba. I’m not going to lie, I sobbed when MILCK sang the anthem of the Women’s March, “Quiet.” (You can get it on iTunes, I did!) Before that I wanted to high five Bee for just being awesome and calling Trump and Spicer on their total bullsh-t about the numbers at the inauguration. She that the Women’s March was “like waking up from a nightmare to find that the monster was real but that all of your friends were there with sticks and torches and unflattering hats to beat back the darkness.” She also called out Fox News for claiming that only liberal enclaves protested when that wasn’t the case.

Bee has a new interview with Bon Appetit in which she talks about her lifelong relationship with food, which she calls “one of the best relationships in my life actually.” I can’t really relate to that since I’m frenemies with food but it’s nice to hear. She also details her favorite things to eat, including a dark chocolate pretzel every day.

Are you healthyish?
I think I am healthyish. I haven’t explored my internal organs lately. But I try to be healthyish. I have a pretty healthy relationship to food. It’s pretty robust. It’s one of the best relationships in my life, actually! We go way back.

What are else are you eating at work?
Everything I love is kinda smelly. We all sort of joked about how smelly my lunches are, but now it’s just sort of quiet when I microwave my lunch. It’s not funny anymore. The other day I made a coconut chickpea curry with roasted cauliflower. I brought it to work in some Gladware and nuclear-ized it for everyone. People had a very visceral reaction to it.

What’s a typical day for you, food-wise?
I’m awake in the 5’s, standing by 6, for sure, in the kitchen. Today I had a breakfast burrito—refried black beans on a tortilla, with avocado and a couple really nice eggs and some old cheddar and salsa. I had a nice iced coffee I made in my Bialetti. Gobbled that all down in about ten minutes, then I’m off to make the kids breakfast. It’s busy in the morning. Then for lunch, I like to sauté kale with lots of garlic and chiles and brown rice that I already have cooked. It’s just an ugly, stinky mess, and I put hot sauce all over it. I think that’s healthy? I don’t know. There’s virtue in it, but there’s also oil and soy sauce.

Then I always have a dark chocolate pretzel. Asher’s. Dark chocolate. Don’t even come near me with the milk chocolate. I’d rather not bother.

And also, today I had a date muffin. I make my own date muffins and keep them in the freezer. They’re just delicious.

What’s a typical dinner?
Dinner is a little less organized. That’s the most troubling meal of the day. Because my kids are super picky. They hate everything that I like. I’m in a prolonged period of making things for the kids that they don’t like and won’t eat. My son, who is eight, recently decided that he is a vegetarian. I’m really trying to drive home the point that, that’s great, totally support that, practically a vegetarian myself, no problem. But you actually have to eat vegetables. You don’t just get to cut out the meat and not replace it. If it were up to him, he’d just eat English muffins all day and all night.

What’s one thing that they like that’s surprised you? Something that made you think, “Oh good, I’m glad they like that?”
What’s funny to me about children is that they’ll try foods and really like them… at somebody else’s house. They’ve rave about salmon at somebody else’s house, then I’ve served it to them and they have wept. I know in my heart I’m not a bad cook. When they’re 35 and they have children of their own, they’re going to look back on this period of time and think, “My mother was such a good cook! She gave me so many delicious meals!” When, really, the reality was they never tried any of it.

[From BonAppetit via People]

Bee also says that she loves potato chips and couldn’t give them up and that she tried to give up sugar but that she “couldn’t live a life like that, policing myself all the time.” There’s no way I could give up sugar. I try to limit it but that’s not the easiest thing. I could relate so much to what she said about her kids not eating foods she cooks them but being willing to try the same foods when they’re at someone else’s house. My kid does that too and my solution is just to cook him plain food or to ask him ahead of time if he’ll actually eat the recipe I want to make. We’ve been able to reach agreements that way. As for her love of dark chocolate – WHY?! I mean I will eat dark chocolate if it’s the only thing available (Hershey’s special dark is especially palatable) but milk chocolate tastes so much better. I’m generally a savory person and I also love chips and pretzels but I just don’t see the point of dark chocolate.




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56 Responses to “Samantha Bee only eats dark chocolate: ‘Don’t come near me with milk chocolate’”

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  1. tracking says:

    I love her–her Women’s March comment was perfect. I’m with her on the dark chocolate. Having cut sugar way down in my diet (not eliminated, no way), milk chocolate now tastes too sweet to me.

    • Rachel says:

      I was completely 100% anti-dark chocolate until about 5 years ago. Then I had really good dark chocolate. Since then, I definitely weigh heavy on the dark chocolate side of the spectrum. I will eat milk chocolate, but it’s not my preference. I will say however, that I’m not reaching for a plain dark chocolate bar or anything like that. When I eat candy, it’s a truffle or a caramel or something, so there’s an added sweetness with whatever the dark chocolate is surrounding.

      • kimbers says:

        I only like the Ghirardelli bittersweet chocolate u find in the baking aisle . One Square is perfect =]

        Seattle’s best coffee shops got me hooked on bittersweet chocolate years ago with their choc sticks =]

    • Melly says:

      If anyone is interested, Full Frontal with Sam Bee has a youtube channel you can follow. I’m pretty sure every episode is on there. New episodes are uploaded a few hours after it airs on tv.

  2. Jen says:

    I’m a salt person and milk chocolate isn’t my thing either-it seems like a lot of people who prefer salty or savory as a “cheat” aren’t wild about sugar.

  3. Maya says:

    I am opposite – I love milk chocolate and the only way I get dark chocolate is when I drink hot chocolate…

    • Lady D says:

      I decided just last night that I was done with semi-sweet chocolate chips in my cookies. From now on, it’s milk chocolate or nothing.

  4. Londerland says:

    I love her. But yeah, dark chocolate seems like it ought to be the best chocolate because it’s more cocoaey, but in reality it’s just, mmm, okay, this is getting a little bitter. Milk chocolate seems, in my head, like the baby-food option, but gimme a big bar of milk chocolate Galaxy Cookies & Cream (do you have Galaxy in the US?) and I’m in heaven.

    Hershey’s, though? Hershey’s tastes like it’s made for diabetic pets. Dusty old yuck.

    • Lambda says:

      Yeah, Herschey stopped being any good in 1954, I think.

      • Amelia says:

        Was Hershey’s ever any good to begin with, though?

        Give me Cadburys, or give me death.
        I really do enjoy dark chocolate, but it’s not as simple as grabbing a bar off the shelf like you would a Galaxy or Dairy Milk bar where you *know* what you’re getting.

        It takes trial and error to find something that avoids the bitterness.

        Also, HONKING!! for more Sam Bee! <3

    • me says:

      In my opinion, the chocolate in the UK far outweighs that in the U.S. Such a big difference in taste and quality. Whenever I go to the U.K I come back with a backpack full of chocolate and crisps ! Really missing those monster munch pickled onion right now !

  5. k37744 says:

    Her description of the pickiness of kids is spot on! “They have wept.” Basically, yes. You’re welcome for dinner, ingrates.

    (And we’re on the same page for sure with the stinkiness. I’m on a saur kraut/Swiss grilled cheese kick lately after my workouts and my son runs around the house screaming and kicking on all the ceiling fans).

    It’s much easier for me to eat less of dark chocolate….so that’s the only kind I buy.

    What I’m saying, is she should make me breakfast.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Lol, I agree with your ENTIRE statement. I love dark chocolate cover pistachios or almonds, and the mister finds these scored organic dark chocolate bars with a thin line of pink Himalayan sea salt running through the center. Just divine. Not much of a sweet tooth as I age, but dark chocolate and the rare cookie are my preference.

  6. lightpurple says:

    Dark chocolate covered pretzels are divine. Pretzels as they should be

  7. Zuzus Girl says:

    Milk chocolate is a pale, watered down imitation of the real deal. I don’t understand how anyone can eat it.

    • Erinn says:

      I can’t handle strong dark chocolate. I’m not a fan of bitter. I can do dark chocolate if it’s ON something, or is like dark chocolate with fruit in it. But just pure dark – nope. But I’ve been eating more if it lately than I ever used to, so I’ll probably get more accustomed to it.

    • Esmom says:

      Yes, my thoughts exactly. I haven’t eaten milk chocolate in decades.

    • GingerCrunch says:

      Only time I eat milk chocolate is at Christmas, wrapped in the little Santa foils. Just like Grandma had!

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      And so much of it is flavored with vanillin, rather than vanilla. Ick.

    • Alix says:

      On the contrary, I don’t see how anyone can eat dark chocolate. The bitterness! Give me quality milk chocolate or none at all, thanks.

  8. minx says:

    Lol that is so true about kids liking a particular food somewhere else–and when I cook the same thing, in exactly the same way, they turn up their noses.

  9. Slowsnow says:

    My son does the vegetarian without vegetables to me regularly. And the reality is also that he would rather eat apples and blueberry muffins all day. I relate and sympathize…

    • GingerCrunch says:

      Mine went vegetarian after he saw ‘Madagascar’ and basically pulled the same no-vegetable thing. I think he survived on cheese?

    • Embee says:

      I couldn’t wait to turn 18 because my mother made be eat veggies every day! At 18 I could stop eating veggies and drinking milk. At 38 I don’t eat veggies, but I do eat fruit

  10. boredblond says:

    Well, la de da…

    • Esmom says:

      Really? I always find her charming and pretty darn humble. She was talking to Bon Appetit so it doesn’t seem weird that she’d try to relate to their foodie audience.

    • Fiorella says:

      Is that stuff really too fancy for you? I guess she should just say she likes Kraft dinner..

  11. Lucy says:

    I love all chocolate. Period. Dark chocolate ice cream is the sh*t.

  12. Lambda says:

    Trifle as they are, Samantha’s comments make me like her even more. Milk chocolate is too sweet and not even chocolate (interloper without cocoa). Dark chocolate is where it is, but I like bitter anyway. My lunches are super smelly, but my issue is that I’m becoming immune to various stenches. My kitchen smells of kimchi, horseradish, and fish sauce, aromas that would make other people hurl, but I’m like, yum!

    Sam Bee has the most acerbic writers. Worth a look.

  13. Esmom says:

    I thought I was an oddity in the kitchen but her meals sound remarkably similar to mine. I’m always throwing really smelly stuff together. The other say my kids were having friends over and they were embarrassed by the cauliflower smell in the house so they lit scented candles all over the place. It also helps to clean the stove thoroughly after smelly cooking, so I did that for them, too.

    My kids used to be fairly picky but now that they are teens they eat anything and everything, thankfully. I’m lucky to have never had major food battles with my kids but I know how rough it for some people.

  14. Relli says:

    I love her so much. Yesterday I turned my neighbor at work onto her and I could hear her giggling all afternoon.

  15. frisbee says:

    I gave up sugar to lose weight and it worked, except I couldn’t quite give up the chocolate. Milk chocolate messes about with your neurochemistry – it actually has the same affect as a hit of cocaine and can be just as addictive. Dark Chocolate in small doses it quite good for you
    Or at least that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Now I melt down 85% dark chocolate and mix it with nuts (not cashews) and it’s divine, truffles made with 85% DC are ok as well, the cream takes a lot of the bitterness away. I can’t do milk chocolate now, it’s too sweet so it does seem possible to retrain your taste buds away from it.

    • mrspanda says:

      I’ve had a similar journey frisbee, I was totally hooked on milk chocolate and could easily scoff a king-size bar per day, it was very addictive and nearly impossible to stop once you start! I knew dark chocolate was better for you, and previously I’d found it too bitter but I set out to acquire a taste for it, and now I love it! I weaned myself off the milk, starting at say 55% cocoa, and now genuinely enjoy 80% cocoa dark. I also find I can actually stop at 5 squares or so – it gives you the little chocolate high and a feeling of satisfaction, and it’s more intense so easier to control portions. I’ve lost weight too, and no longer crave the super sugary milk chocolate I was really hooked on before.

  16. me says:

    Has she had GOOD milk chocolate before? I agree with her about potato chips. Have to have them almost every day !

  17. Lucy2 says:

    Dark>milk but who am I kidding, I will eat both anywhere, anytime.

    If you are not watching her show, you absolutely should be. She is killing it and has been since she started. For all the attention the other late-night shows get, hers to me is the wittiest, sharpest, and most on point.

  18. robyn says:

    I most definitely prefer dark chocolate … to me other chocolates taste bland. If I were to view her tastes symbolically, I’d say there is no fence sitting with this woman as she bravely loudly shares her views in a comedic way. Often she is more reliable than the news media.

  19. Hazel says:

    Sam Bee is the best. I catch the replay of her weekly live show on Fridays.

  20. Livealot says:

    Strange but I only like DARK or WHITE chocolate. No milk chocolate for me.

  21. teacakes says:

    I was about to gasp in horror and declare my very philistine, milk-chocolate-loving credentials (everything from KitKats to Lindor!) when I remembered………. American mass-market milk chocolate is foul and tastes weirdly curdled, so if that is what she likes to avoid, good on her.

  22. Whyme says:

    Love her! And I’m with her I’m a dark chocolate lover Green & Black’s Organic Dark Chocolate, 70% but even their 85% is awesome. But I still love milk as well so I’d have to. Go for Cadbury (particularly their fruit and nut). Yum!!! Now I want chocolate!

    And I’m so glad to hear this about her kids because my son is the pickiest unless it’s sashimi, seafood, a specific brand granola bar and a mozzarella cheese stick he doesn’t want to eat anything.

  23. peanutbuttr says:

    I will choose only dark. When I was returning from a vacation in Ecuador, I picked up a dark chocolate sampler in the airport, which had small pieces with different percentages ranging from 50% to 99%. We ate the sampler at the office and we found 50% was too sweet while 99% was like eating the bean. The optimal percentages were from 70% to 90%

  24. adastraperaspera says:

    Sam Bee is the future. She’ll be around to dance on trump’s grave. Love her!

  25. Lightpurple says:

    But where does she stand on bacon?

  26. Tassi says:

    Honk for Samantha Bee! I have loved her since The Daily Show! Full Frontal is hilarious and very spot on. Honk! Honk!

  27. kimbers says:

    Didnt find her meals odd, just really normal. Salmon is so common where i live and mexican food is my food….veggies have been my go to since i was little and ran around with a baggie of cooked lima beans to snack on. We grew up poor and everyone else was eating processed this and that while we ate organic bc it was cheaper in the late 80s early 90s

  28. Onika says:

    Hershey’s isn’t chocolate. It’s like someone has thrown up, coloured it brown and set it. Vile, vile, vile. Dark choc is the best.

  29. Embee says:

    I love them both,but absolutely hate white chocolate