Jessica Biel in Kaufmanfranco at the Oscars: Oscar statuette cosplay?

Oscars 2017 Arrivals

It’s hard to choose what was worse last night, Justin Timberlake or Jessica Biel’s dress. Timberlake’s try-hard meant that his poor wife had to actually dress up in Oscar-statue cosplay, and I never thought I would feel this sorry for Jessica Biel. Like, she has to deal with him every damn day. I would need to be medicated.

Biel wore Kaufmanfranco and this dress is pretty bad, although it was sort of bizarrely on-trend with all of the Oscar fashion last night. Like, so many people were wearing metallics or muted hues, and so many women looked like the wrath of God. For whatever record, I do think Biel is pretty in general, she just works with stylists who hate her, apparently. There’s no reason for her to wear this dress to the Oscars. There’s no reason for her hair to look like this.

As for her try-hard husband… he not only got to open the Oscars, but he also tried to steal focus from every woman in his vacinity. He would barely allow Biel to pose for separate fashion photos. He “camera-bombed” Emma Stone too. Like, maybe Biel should slip him a Xanax before she takes him anywhere.

The 89th Annual Academy Awards Arrivals

Oscars 2017 Arrivals

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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74 Responses to “Jessica Biel in Kaufmanfranco at the Oscars: Oscar statuette cosplay?”

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  1. Donna says:

    She badly needs a stylist. She always looks awful at awards shows.

  2. teacakes says:

    Why is she even getting her own dedicated post? Nothingburger in every way, is what she is.

    • lannisterforever says:


    • DianaB says:

      This! Her hair infurated me last night. Gurl, you’re at the Oscars, make some effort!

      • Sabrine says:

        Justin is probably better at home without an audience to play to….maybe. The hairstyle on Jessica is not attractive on her but then I saw the other Oscar hair and in generally, she fits right in.

      • derpshooter says:

        I can’t even figure out how her hair is done. I read somewhere else it’s in a chignon, but should it look different on the left and right sides?

    • Fiorella says:

      Yes they deserve their own post ! Huffpo has a little article just about jt and it’s interesting to me! He was very cringy, and it seems there was an awkward moment with gosling. Also he lost!

    • Anastasia says:

      Well, Jennifer “Boring as Hell” Aniston got her own post, so why not this Nothingburger? ;)

  3. Macscore says:

    I loved her so much in “the Illusionist” (all those years ago…) that I just can’t hate her. She was so beautiful – yet now she desperately needs a better stylist! And how on earth she puts up with that human irritation is beyond me. It must be like being married to a child.

    • LoveIsBlynd says:

      These pretty but rigid girls always end up with the exhausting boy/men.

    • SK says:

      She was genuinely fantastic in Easy Virtue. I think she has more talent than people realise and she seems like a genuinely nice person. Her husband is exhausting.

  4. Digital Unicorn (aka Betti) says:

    Well at least he didn’t win! Him and his ego must be hell to live with.

    • Ramona says:

      I know. I worry about this girl. These egotists may be all jovial and camera seeking in public but turn into monsters in private. Source – I just finished reading a Bing Crosby bio.

    • GingerCrunch says:

      Thank god. That was the one award I dozed during. He’s insufferable. Interesting to hear about Bing Crosby, though not surprised. The horror with his first wife and those children I do remember. Really sad stuff.

  5. OSTONE says:

    The things one has to endure in order to be Mrs. Timberlake. Gosh he annoyed me to no end yesterday.

  6. Trixie says:

    Without whatever crap is on the collar, Jessica Biel’s dress would have been pretty.

  7. Shambles says:

    Oh my god, these photos make me nauseous. He reminds me so, so much of my psychopath ex boyfriend who had to be the funniest man in the room all the time. You can see it in his face. Ugh, I need a shower.

    She’s clutching that clutch for dear life. #FreeJessica

    • Digital Unicorn (aka Betti) says:

      Even at the height of his solo career he was never this grasping for attention. His behaviour reeks of desperation at staying relevant and in the spotlight.

    • paolanqar says:

      Oh yes.
      They look so weird together. I can’t even define ‘weird’… they just are.
      She has the same expression planted on her face as she has to endure things we will never know and he looks like a psycho.
      Look at those eyes. Those teletubbies, round and scary eyes.

      • the_blonde_one says:

        Her expressions look remarkably like Amber Heard’s before we knew everything we know now.

      • bobslaw says:

        His eyes are scary as eff. Second only to Mel Gibson.

      • Miss M says:

        Interesting observation. I found very weird the way she answered a question about his performance. She answered in an angry tone of voice “they better be ready, he (JT) is” something like that… it was so weird that even JT “joked”…If someone told me this is an abusive relationship, I would not doubt it…

  8. Margo S. says:

    I was thinking about this last night. Justin was never this ridiculous back in his nsync days. If he had been I don’t think his solo career would have been such a success. He just looks like he’s always on uppers now. He seriously needs to calm down and quit it with the bug eyes.

  9. EliSunday says:

    Justin Timberlake is exhausting.

    I also think Jessica Biel is pretty, but she has either awful style or a stylist who hates her or her husband.

  10. QQ says:

    One of the two people in this post had more coke and botox and thirst than anyone else, also his or her stylist hated them Juuuussstt a Lil bit more, name rhymes with Musty Timberflake?

    Anywhoo her dress and her also are laughably bad cause you have to be failing this bad on purpose.. or Just cause you’re tired that This assclown is your husband

  11. V4Real says:

    I don’t care what anyone thinks or say I like Jessica. She’s beautiful and that dress isn’t that bad. I like it better than Emma Stone’s dress.

    I also enjoyed Justin’s performance.

    • Carmen says:

      Totally agree. I loved the dress, except for that neck fringe which wasn’t necessary, and I thought Timberlake killed it in the opening act.

    • BrandyAlexander says:

      It’s popular to hate hime here, but I thought his opening number was fun. And I loved when he was dancing with Jessica in the audience.

  12. Gippy says:

    I love her dress! Somehow she still manages to be boring, maybe it’s because Justin is sucking all the air out…

  13. Tray says:

    Gad. His facial hair and haircut scream douchebag. At least he lost.

  14. littlemissnaughty says:

    Surprisingly, I love her dress. Her husband on the other hand … man. What a tool. He looks unattractive and exhausting.

  15. Lucy2 says:

    So glad Justin didn’t win. I don’t know what his deal is, but he is so freaking obnoxious. I saw at one point when Robin was interviewing them, he said something about them both being beautiful, and then jumped right in front of both of them on camera. Calm the f down already!!

  16. serena says:

    Girl, no..

    JT is an idiot, thank you for reminding us.

  17. IlsaLund says:

    Jessica’s dress looks like an Oscar. I can’t stand Justin Timberlake. He always has to make it about me, me, me. I’m a non violent person, but I wish I could smack that smug look off his face. And I’ve never forgiven him for the way he let Janet Jackson take all the heat and blame
    For that Super Bowl fiasco. #neverforget

    • Nev says:


      Last night during his performance he even busted a vintage Janet dance move!!!!

  18. Chaine says:

    I think she looks sexy and I would wear that dress if I had that body. She just needs to lose the icky creepy hubby.

  19. Anare says:

    Her necklace was Tiffany. I thought her look was meh. My hub, bless his heart, said her dress looked like something that hung too long in a closet and the fabric was falling apart. 😂 Timberlake was mugging it up as usual. That song is catchy as hell though.

  20. Dee says:

    She needs to store away the Christmas skirt around her neck until december

  21. HeidiM says:

    I loved the necklace and along with her simple makeup and strict center parted hair……I thought it was kinda modern Native American. And since she is Choctaw, And has those cheek bones, I really liked it.

  22. Sage says:

    So happy he didn’t win! OMG, if he did his ego would have been out of control!

  23. Michelle says:

    Her dress looked like gold camouflage. I can tolerate JT because he seems to have a lot more personality that some other singers and actors. And yes, the haircut/beard thing he has going on is awful. I cannot stand the bald head, full beard look either. YUCK!!

  24. phatypopo says:

    I never had any strong feelings about JT before reading this site … now I can’t unsee how obnoxious he is!

  25. What happened at the end of Justin’s live performance? Something went bad and he looked pissed. I haven’t heard anyone else say anything about it, and I’m so curious…

    • me says:

      He was pretending to be pissed. It was a skit he did with Jimmy. Jimmy said something like “now maybe Nsync will let you back in to the group”.

  26. me says:

    Well she chose to marry him and have a child with him. I don’t feel sorry for her. We don’t know what she’s like behind closed doors. She may be just as annoying as him lol.

  27. Blackcat says:

    Jessica is really pretty but she hasn’t been styled well in a LONG time.

    The neckline of her dress is too severe–qoild look better as a V neck.

    Hair and makeup *** shakes head*** everybody on her beauty team must loathe her.

  28. Twinkle says:

    Awful. This necklace is spectacular. It is everything. The dress just detracts from the necklace. Everything bled into this gold, muddy mess. You either keep the clothes fabulous and the accessories simple or vice versa. Sadly, she has a stylist. It’s the same person that styled Michelle Williams. That says it all.

  29. Miss M says:

    She did say her beauty was preventing her from getting roles (something like that). I think she is going fugly on purpose… lol

  30. poppy says:

    from the little of the broadcast i caught (the end), they NEVER should have sat him on the aisle, nomination or not. he tried to grab attention from every winner that had to pass him on the way to the stage. he had to hug them all. LOOK AT ME! ME! ME!
    he should lay off whatever has him so amped up and tuck into strict diet of humble pie. he is insufferable.

  31. Libra girl says:

    She bores me to tears.

  32. Rubber Ducky says:

    Well now we know who did all the coke at the party. Can someone just muzzle him, tie him up and dump him out back for trying to steal everyone else’s moment? What a rude asshole.