Chelsea Handler is promoting the second season of her Netflix talk show, so she’s giving lots and lots of interviews. As I was reading this entire You Magazine piece, I was reminded of something odd: I don’t always hate Chelsea Handler. Like, I think she says a lot of awful things. I think she’s racist and nativist and unfunny. But when she talks about reproductive rights or being anti-marriage, I often find myself not-hating her in spite of the other emotions she brings out in me. Anyway, of course Chelsea gets asked about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie in this piece. OF COURSE. And of course she can’t just shrug and say “no comment.” What would be the point of that? Some highlights from You Magazine UK.
She claims that Jennifer Aniston doesn’t care: ‘I don’t think Jen cares about what’s going on and it’s crazy that people think she does. As if she’s sitting around caring about [Angelina Jolie]. I know I don’t.’
All the sh-t she’s said about Angelina Jolie: As Chelsea explains now, with a smile on her face: ‘I just say what most people are thinking.’
She likes British men: ‘I’m interested in people who have opinions and aren’t afraid to express them. So if someone says: “I don’t want to talk about my husband or my kids” then forget it, because that’s your life. On my [E!] show, I interviewed a lot of reality stars and I’d always drift off, thinking about what I was going to eat later because they were so uninteresting. But I like Brits – I interviewed Tom Hiddleston and he was very sweet and very square.’
On Donald Trump’s politics and policies: ‘I’m going to be leading a lot of marches about this. As a first world country [the US] has an obligation to the rest of the world to be broader in our thinking. I want people from different countries to come over here. I don’t want a refugee camp in Lebanon or Beirut or anywhere in the world – that’s what creates terrorism. Trump is pretty much the worst kind of American there is – the worst capitalist, the worst everything. It scares me but it also makes me motivated because if Hillary Clinton had won the election, maybe we’d have become complacent and said: “OK, we’ve had our glass ceiling moment now – it’s all fine.” But with Trump’s election, people are more outraged than they’ve been in years. We have to make fun of him because he’s so easy to make fun of, but if you can be funny about something, it can resonate more with people than straight information.’
Whether men are scared of funny women: ‘Probably. I mean, men out here are not exactly approaching me all the time. That’s why I go to England – I love British men! My first serious boyfriend [Peter] was British and we were together for two years. British men are better dressed, have a better sense of humour and can drink at lunch and go back to work, which I respect.’
Her relationship with André Balazs: ‘That’s one I’m embarrassed about.’ Why? ‘Because he’s embarrassing. Let’s just leave it at that.’
Dating her boss at E!, Ted Harbert: ‘He just got me and understood the show and we stayed friends because he was kind of a seminal figure in my life.’ Although both insisted that they didn’t start dating until after Chelsea got the show, it didn’t stop Joan Rivers rather uncharitably suggesting that Chelsea ‘made it on her back’. ‘Well, a lot of people say that about me,’ says Chelsea, ‘and it only matters if you believe it’s true. Take a look at my pillow.’ Nestling on her sofa, it reads: ‘Sleep Your Way To The Top.’ ‘My response to that is if I was going to sleep with somebody to get a job, it would have been on a different network than E!.’
She doesn’t want kids: ‘I want to be around adults. I love my friends’ kids; I just don’t want to have my own and I don’t want anyone or anything – other than work – dictating what time I have to get out of bed. Work is my child and my closest relationship. I definitely don’t buy into the idea that you’re less of a woman if you don’t have kids. I actually think it’s brave not to have them and I think people should consider it more before having a child.’
I chuckled at “if I was going to sleep with somebody to get a job, it would have been on a different network than E!” Like, did she have so many options? It’s no secret that she slept her way to her own E! show. She was almost completely unknown before Chelsea Lately and of course she slept her way to basic-cable fame. As for what she says about Aniston and Jolie… I still don’t get why this is Handler’s particular raison d’etre at this point, but there you go. I also don’t believe Aniston is focused on Brad and/or Angelina at this point, but the fact that Aniston’s friend, attack dog and surrogate is still talking about it? It’s not a great look for Handler or Aniston.
Photos courtesy of WENN.