Chelsea Handler: ‘As if’ Jennifer Aniston cares about Angelina Jolie

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Chelsea Handler is promoting the second season of her Netflix talk show, so she’s giving lots and lots of interviews. As I was reading this entire You Magazine piece, I was reminded of something odd: I don’t always hate Chelsea Handler. Like, I think she says a lot of awful things. I think she’s racist and nativist and unfunny. But when she talks about reproductive rights or being anti-marriage, I often find myself not-hating her in spite of the other emotions she brings out in me. Anyway, of course Chelsea gets asked about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie in this piece. OF COURSE. And of course she can’t just shrug and say “no comment.” What would be the point of that? Some highlights from You Magazine UK.

She claims that Jennifer Aniston doesn’t care: ‘I don’t think Jen cares about what’s going on and it’s crazy that people think she does. As if she’s sitting around caring about [Angelina Jolie]. I know I don’t.’

All the sh-t she’s said about Angelina Jolie: As Chelsea explains now, with a smile on her face: ‘I just say what most people are thinking.’

She likes British men: ‘I’m interested in people who have opinions and aren’t afraid to express them. So if someone says: “I don’t want to talk about my husband or my kids” then forget it, because that’s your life. On my [E!] show, I interviewed a lot of reality stars and I’d always drift off, thinking about what I was going to eat later because they were so uninteresting. But I like Brits – I interviewed Tom Hiddleston and he was very sweet and very square.’

On Donald Trump’s politics and policies: ‘I’m going to be leading a lot of marches about this. As a first world country [the US] has an obligation to the rest of the world to be broader in our thinking. I want people from different countries to come over here. I don’t want a refugee camp in Lebanon or Beirut or anywhere in the world – that’s what creates terrorism. Trump is pretty much the worst kind of American there is – the worst capitalist, the worst everything. It scares me but it also makes me motivated because if Hillary Clinton had won the election, maybe we’d have become complacent and said: “OK, we’ve had our glass ceiling moment now – it’s all fine.” But with Trump’s election, people are more outraged than they’ve been in years. We have to make fun of him because he’s so easy to make fun of, but if you can be funny about something, it can resonate more with people than straight information.’

Whether men are scared of funny women: ‘Probably. I mean, men out here are not exactly approaching me all the time. That’s why I go to England – I love British men! My first serious boyfriend [Peter] was British and we were together for two years. British men are better dressed, have a better sense of humour and can drink at lunch and go back to work, which I respect.’

Her relationship with André Balazs: ‘That’s one I’m embarrassed about.’ Why? ‘Because he’s embarrassing. Let’s just leave it at that.’

Dating her boss at E!, Ted Harbert: ‘He just got me and understood the show and we stayed friends because he was kind of a seminal figure in my life.’ Although both insisted that they didn’t start dating until after Chelsea got the show, it didn’t stop Joan Rivers rather uncharitably suggesting that Chelsea ‘made it on her back’. ‘Well, a lot of people say that about me,’ says Chelsea, ‘and it only matters if you believe it’s true. Take a look at my pillow.’ Nestling on her sofa, it reads: ‘Sleep Your Way To The Top.’ ‘My response to that is if I was going to sleep with somebody to get a job, it would have been on a different network than E!.’

She doesn’t want kids: ‘I want to be around adults. I love my friends’ kids; I just don’t want to have my own and I don’t want anyone or anything – other than work – dictating what time I have to get out of bed. Work is my child and my closest relationship. I definitely don’t buy into the idea that you’re less of a woman if you don’t have kids. I actually think it’s brave not to have them and I think people should consider it more before having a child.’

[From You Magazine UK]

I chuckled at “if I was going to sleep with somebody to get a job, it would have been on a different network than E!” Like, did she have so many options? It’s no secret that she slept her way to her own E! show. She was almost completely unknown before Chelsea Lately and of course she slept her way to basic-cable fame. As for what she says about Aniston and Jolie… I still don’t get why this is Handler’s particular raison d’etre at this point, but there you go. I also don’t believe Aniston is focused on Brad and/or Angelina at this point, but the fact that Aniston’s friend, attack dog and surrogate is still talking about it? It’s not a great look for Handler or Aniston.

2017 Writers Guild Awards L.A. Ceremony

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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83 Responses to “Chelsea Handler: ‘As if’ Jennifer Aniston cares about Angelina Jolie”

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  1. Louise177 says:

    ‘I don’t think Jen cares about what’s going on and it’s crazy that people think she doe. As if she’s sitting around caring about [Angelina Jolie]. I know I don’t.’ And yet Chelsea talks about them in every interview. She definitely cares. I don’t about Jennifer. I do think she celebrated when Brad and Angelina broke up but I don’t think she’s as obsessed as Chelsea.

    • Maya says:

      If Jennifer celebrated the fact that a family of 8 split up then she truly is vile.

      Plus she must be forgetting that her karma is waiting for her since she broke Justin’s 14 year relationship with Heidi.

      • Huckle says:

        If Justin’s relationship was solid, Aniston wouldn’t have had a chance. Besides, Justin is in charge of Justin.

      • Fallon says:

        @Huckle Then the same goes for Brad. Brad is in charge of Brad. If Brad and Jen’s relationship was solid, then Angelina wouldn’t have stood a chance. Funny how that works.

      • doofus says:

        no, Justin broke his 14 year relationship with Heidi.

        while I do NOT condone getting together with men in a committed relationship (married or otherwise), as Huckle said…if Justin didn’t want to break up with Heidi and get with Aniston, he wouldn’t have.

        please, let’s stop with the idea that men can be stolen.

        and yes, Fallon, same goes for Pitt. and I don’t see anyone claiming anything differently. Jolie did not “steal” Pitt, and Aniston did not “steal” Theroux.

        that being said…Chelsea, just SHUT UP about all of it, please.

      • L says:

        @Fallon +100000

      • GoOnGirl says:

        @ Maya: You know Jen fans always say her taking justin away from a 14-year common law marriage doesn’t count cause they were not “legally” married. Makes no difference to me. They were together. And Jen came along and stole Justin. For this, she has always been given a pass. They say Jen did nothing wrong. i disagree. And why does she always wear so much makeup? think she’d look better if she toned the makeup part down.

      • doofus says:

        how did she “steal” him? did she wrap him up in a napkin and put him in her handbag? how did she get the security tags off?

      • Amanda says:

        Girl please the only people who care are the fanatics on this board who still cannot move on after 13 years!
        Truly disturbing

      • Amanda says:

        You are deluded Maya.

    • Craven says:

      Chelsea is a troll type. She likes to ruffle your feathers and you all fall for it everytime. If she didnt get a reaction and headlines she would just move on. You guys basically keep her going. As for Jen, nobody would begrudge her a little schadenfreude but I doubt she cares beyond the fact that their drama turned her into a meme again. She had a movie coming out in December, she could have turned it into a gloating tour or even tried to use it to sell tickets but she seemed to have declared those questions a No Go.

    • testmilk says:

      +1000

      She cares, and so does her friend.

      As pathetic, juvenile, shameful, stupid and vile as it is, I think Aniston is truly at peace now that Angelina has filed for divorce from Brad.

    • Latte says:

      She was probably asked and she doesn’t mind answering because she knows it gets her clicks.

  2. michelle says:

    Well she sure as hell didn’t have those opinion’s about Angelina before she became part of Aniston’s mean girl clique. Or before they both have the same slimeball publicist. Fact i remember she praised & barely made fun of Jolie. Now it comes across as both she & Aniston are obsessed lunatics.

    • KB says:

      Your timeline is off. Chelsea went after Angelina before she was friends with Aniston. People accused Aniston of only being friends with her because of those jokes.

      • nemera77 says:

        I think people also forget that she used to come after Aniston too. Those “jokes” and “comments” stopped when Aniston invited her to some party. So no their timeline is not off.

        And we have see Aniston’s husband comment on the breakup too. That should not have happened. So if Aniston doesn’t care and perhaps she doesn’t then announcing it is silly. Because when you don’t care about someone then you don’t talk about them in any way, shape or form

        **** SEE how Angelina Jolie handles HANDLER.. Silence. That is what not caring Looks and Sounds like.

      • KB says:

        Maybe you’re right, I don’t remember jokes about Aniston, what were they?

        It would be Aniston’s MO to befriend the mean girl, she did it with Perez Hilton. Doesn’t make the original comment any more right, TL still off!

      • testmilk says:

        Wrong @kb

        @Michelle you’re right.

        Handler did not “go after,” Angelina Jolie. I watched her show at the outset and during that ‘era,’ if you will. Believe it or not, she had a decent sketch comedy portion with people who were actually funny even if she wasn’t. She’d have (or the writers would have) Heather MacDonald play Aniston in brutal fashion, making her out as a desperate spinster. She was lethal with the Aniston slams. Jolie, not so much. Maybe a few digs about adopting and being knocked up, but seriously never anything vicious like with Aniston.

        *She once had ‘Aniston’ (MacDonald) star as a contestant on a dating game like show. Her male dates were convicts, garbage men, and geezers. The joke was no one wanted her, even knowing she was a wealthy sitcom star.

        Her takedowns of Aniston stopped when Stephen Huvane, Aniston’s bestie and longtime power PR flack signed Chelsea in 2008-2009. That’s when the shared client dinners and vacays started. Huvane likes his clients to do the work for him and buoy each other. So photo-ops of goddess circle dinners and parties and appearances increases the publicity of the whole stable. That’s the Huvane M.O. He even tried to get Perez Hilton to stop calling her Maniston by offering him a part on Courtney Cox’s show ‘dirt.’

  3. KB says:

    She talks about Angelina and Aniston because it gets HER attention. It’s a shame all of her famous girlfriends don’t see that she’s a user.

    I’m not comfortable accusing anyone of “sleeping their way to the top” though, especially when that person has denied it.

    • sendepause says:

      Yup, she name-drops both to make sure the tabloids pick her story up. She can´t generate as much attention on her own.

    • Josephina says:

      Handler is your classic jealous hater. It stings Handler because she IS close friends with Aniston. She has made it her mission to defame Angelina almost every single time there is a public opportunity to do so. There is NEVER ANY truth to what she says about Angelina. She makes up lies about a pretty successful mother and powerful actress, yet she says she is a girl’s girl…??? Her recklessness is intentional, and people should righteously challenge her sly motives.

      It still rubs her the wrong way that Brad publicly pursued Angelina as his mate and NOT the other way around. Do you really think she would give two sh*ts about Angelina if Aniston did NOT express her pain and embarassment to her? In Hollywood, divorce happens frequently between two actors. There really was no valid reason at all for Handler and others to hover over or salivate for the demise of anyone’s relationship or marriage. This is not karma, but is a misguided obsession.

      • minx says:

        I like good dishing as much as the next person, but Handler just seems downright nasty.

    • Otaku Fairy says:

      Normally it wouldn’t be comfortable, but when a person stoops to using other women’s real or rumored sexual history as a weapon and uses an even more marginalized group as a put-down for another, that person does open their own sexual choices up for other people to comment on and call them hypocrites for. I disagree with her “It’s ok that this is a tool regularly used to attack and degrade all women, as long as I don’t think it’s true about ME, ” argument either, but when has Chelsea ever had the best priorities, showed some common sense, and realized that it’s not all about her vs. some perceived female enemy who doesn’t seem to know her? This is the same person who’s willing to stoop to racism against someone’s kids in order to attack the mother, and instead of being able to be self-critical chalks up all her misogynistic and racist commentary over the years to “I just say what everyone is thinking and I’m not afraid to express my opinions” while railing against a man who’s supporters use that same argument to justify support of him.

  4. AfricanBoy says:

    She really does have a weird negative obsession with Brad and Angelina.

    • GoOnGirl says:

      So true Africanboy. She didn’t gp after Jolie until she and Aniston became ‘friends”. Yes, she poked fun at Aniston, but once she was invited to Aniston’s Christmas party, the jolie hatred begin. What’s so funny is she didn’t even know Aniston and Jolie at that time. And why hate on Jolie? Why not blame Brad? he’s the one who left. And coming from someone who slept their way to the top to get her show? There is a meaness around handler and it is very unattractive. Just like her. she needs to never comment about Jolie again. She doesn’t know her and to Angie, she’s like that fly on the wall that is to be swatted. Yes Aniston cares. And yes, IMO if Brad were to call and say he wanted to get back together with Aniston, she’d divorce Justin in a heartbeat.

  5. MunichGirl says:

    It’s quite obvious that Aniston uses her sometimes as a “let’s trash AJ mouthpiece” but I think even Aniston starts to think now “shut up, Handler”.

  6. Lahdidahbaby says:

    1. I seriously doubt Aniston has any input into or influence over what Handler says.

    2. I try to like Handler but just can’t seem to do it.

    3. Even I, gossip that I am, no longer care what’s going on with Jolie and Pitt.

    • Seraphina says:

      Same here and in agreement.

      This is all attention for her. Go away with your nastiness.

    • mia girl says:

      1. Agree
      2. Agree
      3. Agree

    • VirgiliaCoriolanus says:

      My school of thought has always been that you don’t control your friends; you control who you are friends with.

      It was a relatively recent friendship/PR relationship i.e. Jennifer started going on Chelsea’s show on E! when Chelsea began going after Angelina, her children, and basically excusing away Brad as a ball of fluff that had no control over himself when the nefarious Angelina trapped him with her magical, gold plated vagina. But she still kept up the friendship–sill keeps up the friendship. And to be clear–I’m talking about all of the vacations, hanging out, etc……..not going on her show to promote a film.

      And that’s fine–if she thinks Chelsea is a good enough friend, despite apparently being anti-tabloid, anti-gossip, etc, enough to ignore the gossip and speculation that Chelsea brings to her life………..all the more power to her. But don’t stand back and say that if you were on FB one day, and saw someone, who claims to be a friend of your relative, constantly talking about the ending of your relative’s relationship from 5+ years ago–when she didn’t even know your relative…………and then to see that your relative didn’t tell her to tamp down on it or unfriend her………..and not think that some part of her doesn’t agree with it.

      That is what it is. Fine. But don’t pretend that you are anti-gossip, anti-tabloid when you are willingly friends with someone who showed you what they were from the get go, and try to act all shocked about it.

      And it is hilarious that Chelsea said she was sick and tired of celebrities and gossip and that was why she was leaving E!/her talkshow……….because she was so much better than that. Well, it seems like her water has found her level.

  7. Aiobhan Targaryen says:

    Did the interviewer ask: If Jen doesn’t care, then why do you? You bring the woman and her kids up entirely too much not to care about her. If the interviewer didn’t, then this interview means nothing and not worth my time. It is not as if she is so much better than Angelina at her worse. At least Angelina grew the fuck up and got her shit together.

    It is like the pot calling the kettle black. The similarities between her and Trump are astounding: both loud mouth morons who occasionally say thought provoking things- most times in the most ironic way possible. Broken clocks…

    Both are petty malignant narcissists who are prime examples of white mediocrity and white privilege.

    Both are racist trash who are stuck in a time warp when they actually mattered to some people.

    Both are leeches on society who seriously need to stop having attention paid to them.

  8. bap says:

    She is jealous of Angelina because Angelina ignores her. She is not funny, she is a stupid person.

    • kai2015 says:

      Chelsea is the f#cking lunatic she and Melisssa E. I think Angie turned her and ME down. lol They hate her. But the interesting thing is they love Brad and he was the co owner of this scandal and that includes Aniston. That doesn’t make any sense and they like the rest of these unhappy jealous B##ches hate the woman because she gets so much damn attention. That is the bottom line. Period. I must quote Janice Dickinson, “Angelina is the most smoking b#itch in HW so all you other —–can go back home.”

  9. Maya says:

    thou doth protest too much Chelsea..

    It must be killing her that Angelina is everything CHelsea is not – stunning, talented, intelligent, kind, powerful and friends with real influential people around the world

    • rahrahrooey says:

      Exactly!! If you don’t care stop talking about her. Angelina’s name is in her mouth way too much for her claims that she “doesn’t care” to be true.

    • bap says:

      @Maya Absolute Maya this makes her angry that she does not have the influence Like Dame Angelina does.

  10. Sera says:

    She is a big mouth and not f funny. Aniston might not care about Joliet but Handlers constant Angelina bashing makes it seem quite different. And as usual she uses Angelina for attention. I dislike Handler.

  11. rory says:

    Maybe I’m wrong but didn’t Handler talk sh!t about Aniston before they were friends?

    • Aiobhan Targaryen says:

      Yes, Chelsea was going after both of them in a light-hearted way until she and Anniston became friends in real life. I don’t remember if they shared an agent first and then met through him or if she signed with the agent after she and Anniston became friends. After that, it was all vitriol towards Angelina and her children as often as possible.

      • rory says:

        Okay, thanks for the answer.

      • testmilk says:

        Hey @aiobhan

        Loving your posts today – spot on.

        Handler and Aniston became friends after she signed. If some recall she immediately started getting assigned as Aniston’s very own MC, even though she hadn’t known her but a minute. Those were literal ‘gigs’ dolled out by Huvane. When she’d into Aniston at the Lucy and Crystal awards, when she introd Aniston on her walk of fame ceremony and several others. That’s all Huvane.

        He even does it with others in his stable. Like when Paltrow interviewed Handler on stage about her ‘Africa’ book. They both snickered about Jolie then too, slurring her character. Handler was on the clock. Huvane expected her agreed upon digs. Won’t go as far a ago say she’s contracted to smear jolie, but i will say it’s probably understood that’s one of her duties as his client.

  12. Nene says:

    ‘…just says what other people are thinking.~ I guess it’s safe to say Chelsea Handler is a mind reader amongst other ‘remarkable’ talents. On a serious note, why pull down another woman to make one look good? She is such an attention seeker.

  13. Fluff says:

    “I totally don’t care about this person and I don’t care about them so much I’m going to bring up how much I don’t care about them at every opportunity.”

    Girl, we’ve all been there. But with our own exes or OW, and usually for not more than a few months. This is Single White Female level of obsession!

  14. Fakala says:

    Of course JA doesn’t give a crap. Only sites like this (and Handler) keep going on about it.

    • tracking says:

      +1 And Handler, only for the publicity. She wouldn’t bother if it didn’t garner hits.

    • Amanda says:

      Amen!the obsession certain people have with Jen and angie on this board after 13 years is truly pathological and creepy!
      They will still be writing the same comments 20 years from now!
      Scary.

  15. MostlyMegan says:

    “I actually think it’s brave to have children and I think people should consider it more before not having a child.” – see what I did there? I don’t think anyone would think the above statement would be okay, and I don’t like her statement that is the reverse of it, either. How about we respect women for whatever choices they make around childbearing. You aren’t more brave or less brave for choosing to not have children. You made a choice for your life that best suited you. Good.

    • perplexed says:

      I don’t think you’re brave or not brave if you don’t have children, but I do think not having children is considered a more “unpopular” choice that goes against the grain of what society thinks people should do at a certain age. You have to deal with a lot of nosy questions as to why you don’t have children. Like, people don’t get why some women don’t have children or don’t get married. That’s probably why she said this: ” I definitely don’t buy into the idea that you’re less of a woman if you don’t have kids”.

      When married people with children get asked why they got married and had children, I don’t think the outcome is framed as a negative or a decision that has to be justified in some way.

      • MostlyMegan says:

        I see what you are saying. It’s unconventional to chose not to have children. I get it. But if I think people who chose not to have children don’t see the 1,000 ways in which those who chose to – have to be brave. To risk such love and such loss.

      • Vox says:

        Of course people without kids can see the ways parents have to be brave.

    • Leslie says:

      I dislike the “brave” comment, too. But I actually agree with her that people should think about having children before they have them more than they do. So many people have children who shouldn’t and it ends up hurting the child.

    • WTW says:

      @MostlyMegan, Parents get props for having children constantly. I honestly don’t see why you feel the need to go to bat for them during this rare instance when someone says child-free people should be praised as well. I can turn on any daytime talk show and one of the hosts will talk about how wonderful/hard/rewarding parenting is. I can watch a movie with the same message. I can go on social media and see people touting themselves as fathers/mothers/husbands/wives in their profiles. There’s no shortage of praise for parents. I think I notice it all the more because I am infertile, but I think it’s telling that when a public figure praises the child-free you feel the need to defend parents, who can find messages of support everywhere. Parents are the norm, they’re what society tells adults they should be. For child-free or childless people, the exact opposite is true.

    • Lizy says:

      Because people’s asses don’t get kissed enough for having kids? Jesus.

  16. bap says:

    She probably wanted Angelina’s friendship and attention and never got it.

  17. Kate says:

    Racist trash.

  18. Patricia says:

    What’s up with “anti/marriage”, why is that a thing. You don’t want to get married? Don’t. Please don’t. I don’t care.
    But don’t be “anti”, that’s ridiculous. My husband and I are proud of our marriage and the stable family we create to raise functional children in.

    • perplexed says:

      If someone says they don’t want to get married, I don’t think that’s really saying that someone else’s marriage or family is worthless.

      • Patricia says:

        This article uses the phrase “anti-marriage”. I don’t assume someone is against marriage just because it’s not for them. But when it’s explicitly stated as anti, I don’t get that attitude towards marriage.

  19. littlemissnaughty says:

    Shut uuuuup!!! Good god.

    She’s not my kind of person and I don’t care that we agree on some things. If you really try, you can find something to agree on with most people. That’s not a reason to like someone. I don’t like her.

  20. Joni says:

    She’s really obsessed with Angelina, huh?

  21. Slushee says:

    God I’d love to see Chelsea and Brad dating. That would be killer.

  22. Jade says:

    This is so funny, if she don’t care about Angelina, how would she know that Angelina’s 85 children speak 15 languages.
    That Brad would prefer to hang out with George Clooney and Matt Damon in Lake Como.
    The last 6 months Brad had all the time if he wanted to hang out with then, but he his trying to get his sh** together, so that he can be part of his children’s lives.
    The worst thing to do to a loud mouth is to ignore it, Angelina did not stop Chelsea from having children, it was her choice.
    Now she moved on from attacking Maddox and Zahara to claiming they’re 85 children.
    I guess nobody cared that Brad was texting Jennifer.

    • Andrea1 says:

      EXACTLY

    • BJ says:

      That reminds of Melissa Ethridge she implied she is estranged from Brad because of Angelina.But months after the break up she confirmed on Watch What Happens Live Brad still hasn’t called her.Lol
      If AJ “controlled”Brad why hasn’t he reached out to her since he is no longer in evil Angelina’s grasp.

  23. Janet says:

    If neither of them care, especially her, then why does SHE keep fueling the flames of it? Sorry, I stopped liking this woman a long time ago, before her obsession with Angelina started, and I will continue to not watch anything she has anything to do with. IMO, she’s a mean girl and racist. I still can’t believe no one bats an eye on the things she has said, but then again maybe no one really cares about her.

  24. eggyweggs says:

    It doesn’t have the best range, but Mariah Carey’s “I don’t know her” is a great response in just about any situation. Maybe try that, Chelsea. Unless you want to exploit the situation for your own gain, that is.

  25. NotSoSocialButterfy says:

    “As if” anyone cares about Chelsea Handler.

  26. Candies says:

    Ugly in and out? Who would want that you ? Imo a crazier man may be?,
    Why she even need to comment on that again?

  27. AnotherDirtyMartini says:

    I don’t like Chelsea. It sucks because I wanted to like her, but she’s entirely unlikeable.

  28. wyatt says:

    A question to Chelsea,”If Jennifer isnt thinking about Brad and Angelina, then why did she get married on Maddox’s birthday?

    • tracking says:

      Good lord, this has been addressed many times on this site. She got married on her *husband’s* birthday. Doubt she has a clue when any of her ex’s kids’ birthdays are.

    • Tulip Garden says:

      Because to Jen and Justin that was just their wedding day? I don’t think many exes keep a list of the others children’s birthdays or would consider them sancrosect if they happened to know those dates.
      That’s just really reaching to make a (non-existent) connection.

      • doofus says:

        “That’s just really reaching to make a (non-existent) connection.”

        winner winner chicken dinner!

        why ANYONE would know the date of the birthday of a child of a celebrity is creepy, IMO.

    • Amanda says:

      Stop trolling omg
      Just stop.
      Also the fact that you know maddox’s bday is super creepy.

  29. bluevelvet says:

    Watch Chelsea Handler try to remain relevant by tapping into the golden triad of Brad, Jennifer and Angelina…