Photoshop composite from PlanetHiltron.com

This sounds like pure fabrication based on the known fact that Posh was gunning to buy Madonna’s LA mansion, but I’m not above reporting it because it’s pretty juicy. Victoria Beckham is said to have bugged the shit out of Madonna in order to get her hands on her LA place. Madonna wasn’t having it and doubled the price, but Posh called her bluff and was willing to meet Madonna’s demands. Madonna then took the house off the market and shut Posh down when she kept pleading with her for it, including telling her that her marriage with David depended on it:

Madonna recently put her LA house on the market, attracting the interest of, and a generous offer from, the Beckhams. The kudos of living in Madge’s old gaff was simply too much for Victoria to resist.

So far so good, until Madonna changed her mind about selling and, to put Victoria off, upped the price slightly. By $10m. Victoria’s response? To match the ridiculous new asking price, leaving an exasperated Madonna with nothing to do other than take the place off the market.

Cue Posh phoning Madonna endlessly, whining about how denying them their dream home would destroy her and David’s marriage. Madonna pointed out that she had a perfectly good reason for withdrawing the house from sale; it had an apartment in the grounds that was ideal for her elderly and ailing father who she wanted to do her best by.

Posh’s response? “Sell me the house and he can come to visit as often as he wants!”

All of which elicited a terse “F&*$ off!” from Madonna before she slammed the phone down for good.

[From the Holy Moly e-mail newsletter]

The Beckhams are now settled in their Beverly Hills estate, complete with a state of the art 1/2 million closet organization computer to help Posh make sure she doesn’t wear the same tiny outfit and matching color Birkin bag twice in a row.

In a recent entry to her blog, Posh demonstrated that she hasn’t quite got a handle on American vernacular, calling their home “totally major”:

“I am loving our new house — it is totally major!” she gushed in the first update on her blog since they moved in. “Just adding some of the finishing touches to it actually and then it really will feel like home.”

Posh Spice raved about Los Angeles’ warm weather and said she’s been checking out the city’s restaurants and, as she called them, beauty parlors.

“Well, you never know when you might need a facial!” she wrote.

[MSNBC]

And her husband finally started earning his $250 million paycheck from LA Galaxy, scoring a goal against DC United on Wednesday after a knee injury sidelined him for 8 weeks. While her husband celebrated on the field Posh didn’t even crack a smile. Maybe she was thinking about Madonna’s refusal to sell her mansion at any cost.

There are some things in life money can’t buy. For all those other empty feelings there’s excessive consumerism and starving yourself.

Header picture is a Photoshop composite from the talented artist at PlanetHiltron. Who wants to look at another picture of Posh in bug glasses anyway?