Donald Trump’s first calls to Malcolm Turnbull & Enrique Nieto were a trip, man

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The Washington Post got their hands on the transcripts from Donald Trump’s first phone calls to Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. The Turnball conversation made news as it happened, in real time, back in January, because Baby Fists threw a tantrum and allegedly hung up on the prime minister of one of America’s best allies. As we can now see, Trump didn’t exactly hang up on Turnball, but he absolutely threw a tantrum, bitched about how his Putin call went smoother, then abruptly ended the conversation. You can read the full text of both conversations – with WaPo’s annotations – here at WaPo. Here are some highlights.

From the conversation with Turnball:

After a lengthy discussion about America accepting someodd 1200-plus refugees, Trump said this: “Malcom [sic], why is this so important? I do not understand. This is going to kill me. I am the world’s greatest person that does not want to let people into the country. And now I am agreeing to take 2,000 people and I agree I can vet them, but that puts me in a bad position. It makes me look so bad and I have only been here a week… Look, I do not know how you got them to sign a deal like this, but that is how they lost the election. They said I had no way to 270 and I got 306. That is why they lost the election, because of stupid deals like this. You have brokered many a stupid deal in business and I respect you, but I guarantee that you broke many a stupid deal. This is a stupid deal. This deal will make me look terrible.

How the call ended:

TRUMP: “I have no choice to say that about it. Malcom [sic], I am going to say that I have no choice but to honor my predecessor’s deal. I think it is a horrible deal, a disgusting deal that I would have never made. It is an embarrassment to the United States of America and you can say it just the way I said it. I will say it just that way. As far as I am concerned that is enough Malcom [sic]. I have had it. I have been making these calls all day and this is the most unpleasant call all day. Putin was a pleasant call. This is ridiculous.
TURNBULL: Do you want to talk about Syria and DPRK?
TRUMP: [inaudible] this is crazy.
TURNBULL: Thank you for your commitment. It is very important to us.
TRUMP: It is important to you and it is embarrassing to me. It is an embarrassment to me, but at least I got you off the hook. So you put me back on the hook.
TURNBULL:You can count on me. I will be there again and again.
TRUMP: I hope so. Okay, thank you Malcolm.
TURNBULL: Okay, thank you.

[From WaPo]

THAT IS HOW HE TALKS TO ALLIES. When he is dragged off in handcuffs, we are going to spend decades apologizing for this mess. “Putin was a pleasant call. This is ridiculous.” Useful idiot, amirite?

As for the Nieto call, he bragged about the size of his rallies, he lied about how much of the Hispanic vote he got, he says “we do not even think about Canada,” he said something about “tough hombres” committing crimes, he brags about his “tremendous” taxation powers (???) and then this:

The only thing I will ask you though is on the wall, you and I both have a political problem. My people stand up and say, “Mexico will pay for the wall” and your people probably say something in a similar but slightly different language. But the fact is we are both in a little bit of a political bind because I have to have Mexico pay for the wall – I have to. I have been talking about it for a two year period…So what I would like to recommend is – if we are going to have continued dialogue – we will work out the wall. They are going to say, “who is going to pay for the wall, Mr. President?” to both of us, and we should both say, “we will work it out.” It will work out in the formula somehow. As opposed to you saying, “we will not pay” and me saying, “we will not pay.”

Because you and I are both at a point now where we are both saying we are not to pay for the wall. From a political standpoint, that is what we will say. We cannot say that anymore because if you are going to say that Mexico is not going to pay for the wall, then I do not want to meet with you guys anymore because I cannot live with that.

[From WaPo]

Good job, Deplorables. All of you white folks who voted for Trump, just know that he knew the whole time that The Wall was utter bullsh-t but he just said it because he had to say something. In his first call to the Mexican president, he whined about how Nieto kept saying openly that Mexico wasn’t going to pay for the damn thing.

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Photos courtesy of Getty.

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51 Responses to “Donald Trump’s first calls to Malcolm Turnbull & Enrique Nieto were a trip, man”

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  1. Rapunzel says:

    JFC those calls are… unpresidential. Did nobody give this man advice?

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      The issue is with him not taking anyone’s advice. He’s such a colossal asshole.

    • Megan says:

      We are so f*cked.

    • AnnaKist says:

      Yep. “I am the world’s greatest person.” God almighty.

      Should Trump have honoured the refugee deal? Turnbull should never have made such a covert deal to ship refuges off to the US, just to get them out of his hair. These people have been unlawfully detained for years in camps run by private contractors, costing we taxpayers untold millions, while being “processed”. Our governments’ handling of the issue of people seeking asylum here is absolutely appalling, but if these 1200-odd people were deemed to be genuine refugees, they should have been resettled here on the mainland. Temporary housing was offered for these people by private citizens, including me, meaning this aspect of their resettling would have cost the government nothing. The refugees would have then been entitled to the usual welfare payments and free medical assistance, allowing them to start their new lives with some autonomy , safety and dignity. Compared to what it cost to keep them detained for years in offshore camps (and nt just financially), rehousing them in the community would have saved the taxpayers millions. But, no, Turnbull had to be seen to maintain the hard line, and simply palm them off on to another country. Overwhelmingly, refugees who have been resettled have proved to be just he sort of people Australia or any country wants and needs – hard working, law-abiding, contributing members of society. Unfortunately, we also have deplorables who lack humanity and compassion when it comes to people who are “not like us”, and the hard line policies on refugees who “didn’t enter Australia via the *proper* channels” play right into their xenophobia and racism.

      As for Trump, what more can be said about this incompetent, inept, deluded, deranged tyrant, who cannot hold a halfway decent, much less professional, conversation wth his counterpart, and is the self-roclaimed greatest person on earth? And this is just the beginning. We may have our issues with Turnbull, but I’m still grateful to be living in a country where if our leader was carrying on like Trump, we can chuck him out without too much trouble. I hope investigators find solid evidence that will soon rid the US of this maniac and his entire band of grifters.

  2. Nicole says:

    Honestly they should take all the phones, the nuke codes and any form of communication away from him immediately.

    • Ashamed 2 b a FL Girl says:

      “They” should take his job away from him, immediately.

      House? Senate? Mueller? Anybody?

  3. holly hobby says:

    Ugh that man’s word salads!?!?! It was exhausting to read that and I feel sorry for whoever had to transcribe those inane conversations. He makes Lyin Palin look like a Rhodes Scholar.

  4. Jenns says:

    So, Priebus totally leaked these, right? Does anyone ever recall these kind of transcripts leaking with any other president?

    • HelloSunshine says:

      Yeah I would love to know who leaked it! Has anything like this ever leaked before in a presidency?
      This man has access to the nuclear codes. That is so frightening to me. I’ve seen toddlers thrown tantrums less obnoxious than this

    • Mermaid says:

      @jenns
      I would love to know who leaked it too!!! Keep ’em coming!!! I just can’t with him anymore. Never could but I can’t read books anymore, I have gained seven pounds, and I think I need to go back on my anti depressants. He is just awful. I have never hated anyone more and I have a crazy dysfunctional family.

  5. Kiki says:

    His administration are just as stupid as he is. They don’t have the balls to say any thing to this Idiot in chief and they ate kissing his butt. All because they want to spite Prez 44 and his great effort. They are so racist and dumb. However, they are hurting the American people and they don’t care because they can live easily. “They will reap what they sow” and they are doing it already.

  6. bros says:

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OMG those are so great. I could read these all day! what an IDIOT. he staffed the WH and his cabinet with 30 something year old inexperienced idiots with blank resumes and no work experience, and you can see why he thinks that is remotely ok, because there is NOTHING going on upstairs in this man’s head that is at all about strategy. he’s a walking narcissist pimple, a parasite of humanity who fed off the rampant idiocy of 25-30% of the american public who voted for him for their own various idiot reasons.

    • holly hobby says:

      He actually told Mattis that they shouldn’t listen to the general who is in charge of Afghanistan and that all the plans should come from the troops. He used an analogy of a restaurant that hired $$$ analyst only to find the best advice from the waiters. WTF he is seriously encouraging the inmates to run the asylum. If I wasn’t afraid of the fall out from that plan, I’d be laughing (restaurants are not the same as war).

      That was reported on HuffPo yesterday. Idiot.

  7. Bejkie says:

    Trump is a repugnant imbecile.
    Malcolm Turnbull is an impotent, disappointing Fizza
    As an Australian I am embarrassed by that deal too. A refugee swap is a stupid idea when we’ve kept these poor people in offshore detention for years. It’s been a human rights nightmare and we should just do the right thing and bring them here.

    • Emma33 says:

      Also Australian, and I kind of laughed/cried about Malcolm having to go into all that detail about why refugees weren’t criminals, but Australia had them locked up for years anyway..lin order to stop them suffering at the hands of people smugglers. I almost don’t blame Trump for being a bit confused about that hideous aspect of our asylum policy.

      Just bring them to Australia Malcolm.

    • AnnaKist says:

      I couldn’t agree more, Bejkie and Emma. To that end, I wrote to Turnbull and others, offering a home to a family of refugees. I have a large house, and live with my daughter, and we could easily accommodate a family of 5 or 6, in a relaxed home close to schools, amenity es and job opportunities, as well as being able to help with English lessons. All I received was an acknowledgment of my letters, and finally, a response telling me that re-housing refugees in private homes was not part of government policy. They can’t see the forest for the trees.

    • Kath says:

      + 1 million.

      As a fellow Australian, I concur. The whole thing is disgusting.

  8. MellyMel says:

    “I am the world’s greatest person…” Bwahahaha!! Delusional, party of one!

    • Shambles says:

      He’s trying to say he’s the biggest advocate for keeping refugees out of the country, but he has no idea how to phrase it because he’s f*cking stupid. Funny that it came out that way, though. Fruedian slip. He certainly thinks he’s the world’a greatest person, because he is his entire world.

      • Kayleigh says:

        Shambles
        Thanks for clarifying that, I was confused on what he was saying but that makes sense, he just can’t make word lines too good in his head.

    • Rhea says:

      If I could roll my eyes any harder, I would!!!

    • pinetree13 says:

      Yesterday MSNBC reported on poll numbers, most of which were bad, but 55% of Americans polled said he IS intelligent. That blew my mind. This is the same poll that had terrible approval ratings.

      HOW CAN 55% OF YOU THINK HE’S IN ANY WAY INTELLIGENT?!??!?! Have you never talked to someone actually intelligent? Do they think rich=intelligent. I was flabbergasted.

      • Madame de Stael says:

        Bingo! That’s it exactly. To a certain part of the population, rich does equal intelligent. Which, of course, is a stupid thing to think.

  9. kNY says:

    This stuff reads like it’s straight from The Onion. That is how bad he is – we don’t need The Onion anymore.

    • Molly says:

      Right? People have been posting excerpts of the article on twitter, and I honestly don’t know what’s serious and what’s parody.

  10. Nina says:

    I think I speak for all Canadians when I say that I’m glad the American president doesn’t “even think” about us.

    • ArchieGoodwin says:

      you sure speak for this Canadian. He’ll turn his attention to us at some point, NAFTA negotiations start soon, but I’m confident Trudeau has got this.

    • LadyMTL says:

      Seriously! I’m like “Keep Canada’s name out of your mouth!” The less he thinks about us, the happier I am.

  11. Shambles says:

    HOW IS THIS REAL LIFE?! WE ARE ALL BEING TROLLED. Holy sh!t.

    HE LITERALLY BROUGHT UP HIS ELECTION NUMBERS AND PUTIN. He’s f*cking with us, right?! And the wall. I mean… that says it all, doesn’t it? He doesn’t give a f*ck about the people who voted for him, hate to break it to y’all. He cares about how he looks, not you. Period. End of.

    I think reading this was the tipping point. I have officially lost it, you guys. God Save Shambles.

  12. paranormalgirl says:

    I am so embarrassed that this jackass is president.

  13. Tiffany says:

    I read this a hour ago….and I am still laughing.

  14. Guest says:

    Omg what a complete idiot/jackass – more and more it’s evident this man is not fit to be POTUS.

    I know this is serious but I couldn’t help but laugh at trumo – he’s just bad – he sounds like a whiny child. I thought he was supposed to well educated?? He doesn’t even sound intelligent. This is embarrassing

  15. swak says:

    Wonder how Kelly is going to stop Trump from going ballistic on Twitter about this.

  16. Kakoo says:

    I am the greatest person in the world?

    Jesus Christ. Every single day something else.

    All this rot about making deals. DEALS! Running the country isn’t all about making deals. Running a bloody BUSINESS isn’t solely about making deals you ghastly idiot.

    And isn’t he the physical embodiment of someone getting the face they deserve?

    I’m not an irrational woman but I can honestly say I’ve never had such a deep feeling of disdain and loathing towards a public figure. And it doesn’t feel good.

  17. why? says:

    When is enough going to be enough for the GOP?

    The most interesting thing is who leaked it. It’s either Reince or Ezra-Watnik Cohen. Last night, Joy reported that Ezra was fired this week, after McMaster’s numerous attempt to get rid of him. Ezra is one of the 2 WH staffers responsible for Devin Nunes late night run to the WH and leaking classified information about Susan Rice in an attempt to create an unmasking scandal.

    • jwoolman says:

      Don’t such phone calls have to be archived? Maybe everything but classified parts is public record and accessible by request. They were transcribed long enough ago to wend their way through the bureaucracy.

      • why? says:

        This is from the WaPo Trump transcript article:

        “The transcripts were prepared by the White House but have not been released. The Post is publishing reproductions rather than original documents in order to protect sources. The reproductions below also include minor spelling and grammatical mistakes that appeared in the documents.”

  18. Mermaid says:

    @kny
    I mean really at this point we would be better off if Alec Baldwin dressed as him ran the country. You can’t tell the difference. I am the greatest person ever…. who talks this way? The damage he’s doing will take decades to undo.

  19. Radley says:

    Clean-up on aisle 1600. We have a toxic spill at the White House. It’s orange and very messy. Paging Hazmat, Congress, all WH correspondents, we the people, a young priest and an old priest. Thank you.

  20. lyla says:

    he’s such a good dealmaker guys…like the best ever…

  21. rachel says:

    What did I just read?

  22. why? says:

    The King of Lies and Fake News is so incompetent. He and his family pride themselves on him being this great dealmaker, but he can’t even negotiate simple things. The Russians have to be trolling that poll, which says that 56% think that the King of Lies and Fake News is intelligent. His ignorance wouldn’t be so bad if he would just make attempts to learn, read, and do research on the topic he is trying to talk about.

    The things that stands out the most was when he told the Mexican president to stop publicly saying he wasn’t going to pay for the wall. This reminds me of the SNL skit where they had the King of Lies and Fake News try to trick the Mexican president into paying for the wall by saying, “whoever says what pays for the wall”. His comments are move proof that his Muslim Ban is indeed a Muslim Ban. He admitted that he doesn’t want to let people into this country.

    Let’s not forget how many problems he is having with other countries.

    He is fighting with China over trade deals. What happened to all those trade deals that China made with his daughter? What happened to those 2 Chinese men who disappeared after they reported their undercover findings of what was going on in the factories owned by Ivanka?

    He is fighting with his generals about Afghanistan because they aren’t moving fast enough to get the oil. He isn’t concerned about fighting the terrorists. For him it’s all about the oil. You would have thought that McMaster and Mattis would be the adults here, but they just keep catering to the King of Lies and Fake News.

    What is going on with the press and John Kelly? They are really trying to depict him as a some sort of hero. First it was he was going to be bring discipline to the WH and then when more reporters started reporting about the bad things that Kelly has done this year because of his loyalty to The King of Lies and Fake News, we start hearing things about how he was going to step down with Comey, assured Sessions that he wasn’t going to be fired, and is such a positive impact on The King of Lies and Fake News that now his WH meetings are becoming focused and productive. What is it about Kelly that causes the press to rewrite history?

    • why? says:

      I just remembered. At some point after the phone call, the Mexican president compromised with The King of Lies and Fake News. NP wouldn’t say that Mexico was going to pay for the wall, but he and the King of Lies and Fake News did agree to stop talking about who was going to pay for the wall. As usual, the King of Lies and Fake News broke the compromise.

      Lee C, Nichols P. (January 27, 2017). Donald Trump Agrees Not to Talk Publicly About Mexico Paying for Border Wall. Retrieved from the WSJ.

  23. Alexandria says:

    Honestly I always skip over much of what he says, because his words are very distressing, even if they’re tragically funny. Most of the time I go to the comments. I don’t know how you all do it. All I can see as I skip over his words are word salads. Seeing the comments, he sounds like Kanye! Greatest person in the world? Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather be in the same room with Kanye than this SAD! excuse.