Kristen Bell on divorce: ‘that doesn’t discount the lovely years they had together’

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Kristen Bell will tell you about her life in a lot of detail you don’t necessarily want to know. At first her and her husband Dax’s candor was was refreshing in that not a lot of celebrities were talking about mental health issues and going to counseling to working on marital differences. Now it’s just somewhat exhausting. Here are a couple of interviews Kristen did last week which took place around the same time as the last one we covered where she made it sound like a total pain in the ass to be married to Dax. He probably feels the same but it seems to work for them. However, when asked to comment on Anna Faris and Chris Pratt’s divorce, it sounded like Kristen was working on her own exit strategy. She talked a lot to both E! and especially The Huffington Post so please read those interviews if you’d like more of her wisdom and life strategies.

On Anna Faris and Chris Pratt’s divorce
I think there’s a little bit of lack of acknowledgment about really loving something that was. If there are two people that decide not to be together, it shouldn’t really be a heartbreak for everyone.

You should say, ‘Oh, they tried. But that doesn’t discount the lovely years they had together.’ If I ever get divorced, I’m still going to be like, ‘Wow, I loved being married to that man.

It’s a little more nuanced I think than people want to acknowledge. I think it’s the truth.”

I’m glad I spent my time with that person. We may have to make different choices; those choices might make us sad for a while, but ultimately you have to make hard choices in life. I don’t fault anyone for making them. – From E!

Teaching her daughters positive body image
Our pediatrician ― who I think is one of the most talented women on the face of the earth ― she said, ‘make sure you talk about that you love the way you look.’ Because I guess there have been studies where moms that are complaining about the way they look, the kids take it on,” Bell explained.

So I’ve started to apply that like, ‘I feel good today. I also think I look beautiful today’ It feels weird to say, it feels counterintuitive, but I follow evidence and I follow facts. So if that’s going to make my child have more self worth and a better body image, I’m willing to do it.

You teach them to be strong by teaching them to be vulnerable. I think the things that have been viewed as women’s weaknesses for hundreds of years are actually our strengths ― our diffusion of conflict, our innate ability for empathy.

Dax told her they should make sure the kids see them make up after a disagreement

My husband has read zero parenting books and still has the greatest nuggets ever, it’s so frustrating. He said, ’You know, kids see their parents fight, but they very rarely see them make up. How are kids going to learn how to resolve conflict if they don’t see it being resolved in front of them? – From Huffington Post

[From E! and Huffington Post]

I like what she said about how marriage is hard, how you have to acknowledge the good years you had together, and how you don’t judge other people for making those choices. A friend recently told me she was getting separated after 30 some odd years and I hope I conveyed that message. I told her that I wouldn’t say sorry because it was probably something she looked forward to that was a long time coming. (She’s a close friend and I wasn’t being an a-hole I don’t think.)

I think Kristen bugs me sometimes because I used to admire and maybe identify with her a bit. I always feel mortified though when I share too much on social media. In my case I just delete if I have aregrets but surely Kristen knows her words are out there forever. At some point, if she divorces Dax, all of these past comments are going to be used against her and she must know this. I guess she doesn’t care and is more focused on the fact that she’s getting press and her truth out there. I really work to hide and moderate my type A and over sharing tendencies and seeing someone who doesn’t care about any of that is unsettling. Maybe I wish I could be this blunt about it and not GAF.

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21 Responses to “Kristen Bell on divorce: ‘that doesn’t discount the lovely years they had together’”

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  1. Lotusgoat says:

    I feel that way about my ex. We had some great times while we were married, and I appreciate what we had together. It didn’t work out so we went our separate ways.

  2. Marty says:

    Are they friends? Why is she discussing Chris and Anna’s marriage like this?

    • Nancy says:

      Yeah I was wondering the same thing. Hmm. My thoughts are if a couple has been in a marriage that was good for them for years, and then it ends for whatever reason, it doesn’t equate to failure. They had a successful 5, 20, 30 year marriage, whatever. I came close to divorce, and in the process we both learned we wanted to stay together. Our marriage has thrived and we have another child, who is my little everything. People really shouldn’t be so hard on themselves. I also think as I ramble on before getting a tooth extracted……before divorcing, really look inward. It’s easy to walk away, but in some cases, like mine, the effort put forward to really discover what we wanted as a couple was worth everything. Oh the times they are a changing..

    • KB says:

      IIRC, the question was framed something like “Everyone is heartbroken about them breaking up because they were relationship goals for a lot of people and you and Dax are too, what do you think about that?” She wasn’t just asked “what do you think about their breakup?” The context of the question mixed both couples into it as well as the public’ reaction to it.

  3. marc kile says:

    am i the only one getting the feeling that her divorce is just around the corner.

    • Jamieee says:

      That or they’re about to try selling us some kind of joint self-help venture. I feel like they’re angling for a book deal or something.

    • KB says:

      I’m hoping it’s just more that they’ve opened that door to discussing their relationship and now they’re just asked about it constantly.

      I don’t think their marriage is actually as exhausting as it sounds. I think it’s more that she feels obligated to not present some picture perfect image. She seems to go over the top in order to be authentic, but I think it’s just that – her being over the top.

    • Littlebowbee says:

      Divorce in 5..4..3..2 BOOM

    • Ozogirl says:

      I agree, the signs are there!

    • Miss M says:

      I thought the same thing…

  4. Jaded says:

    I get what she’s trying to say. When I left a long-standing relationship for very valid reasons, several people including my parents said “well look at all those years you wasted!” but my thoughts were only that we had some good years and bad, and through it all I learned a lot about myself and how to take control of some bad situations. So it’s a learning experience, and despite the hurt and anger that comes with a break-up, you’re generally a smarter, stronger person afterwards and hopefully won’t make the same mistakes twice.

  5. Snickers says:

    I love Kristen Bell. She’s such a grown up too.
    Just authentic, and real and doesn’t do nonsense.

    Her point about divorce is true. Until and unless Ana Faris or Pratt want to share something different, I’m going to take them at their word – that they are friends who care for each other and are splitting amicably. I think the need to turn Jlaw into a tabloid homewrecker retroactively, is ridiculous, disgusting and insulting. I actually watched inside edition do a slow mo examination of when Lawrence and Faris hugged on the red carpet for Passengers. They were describing it as tense and awkward (it wasnt) – i was like wtf am I watching?!

    It almost seems designed to make Passengers not as big a flop as it is and spur some Netflix rentals.

  6. Sara says:

    my father used to say that expecting to grow and change alongside any other human in a parallel direction for 30 odd years is a beautiful act of optimism. People change. Thank God we do, no? Sometimes we leave people not for other people but to honor the new person we’ve become.

    • Dhavynia says:

      My ex used to tell me I was not the same person I was when we met and I told him neither was he and after 18 yrs and one child people grow up and change, he wouldn’t get it. He left us and got himself a younger version of myself, telling me she is the way I used to be before. Hard truth but I rather see it as me growing up through the years

    • Alex says:

      Some people evolve and that is a wonderful thing, and other’s devolve unfortunately.

  7. Veronica says:

    Sometimes, I do think we tend to place too much emphasis on finding The One. Relationships that are finite have their value, too. We learn and we grow from our mistakes as much as our victories.

  8. PMNichols says:

    These two are a little too “cheerleadery” for me. Settle down.

  9. Morgan says:

    Coincidentally, I just listed to Dax on Anna Farris’ Unqualified podcast last night. He, first of all, had such great advice and was so well spoken — I was impressed. He and Kristen both talk a lot about going to therapy and it shows in his thought processes. Anna was equally impressed and mad about how much better he was, in a joking way, but you could tell she just didn’t have the same kind of self-confidence and clarity. They are definitely very different couples, and for all the oversharing, Dax and Kristen certainly sound like they communicate really well and Anna/Chris much less well. They mentioned spending time all together, but I’d don’t get the impression that were all close friends. But they are definitely similar couples in terms of age, level of fame, children, etc, so I get why Kristen might be asked about the Pratt’s divorce.

  10. FLORC says:

    I don’t like bell… the TMI. The general aura… idk. Rubs me the wrong way. That said…

    I took a break from here because of my divorce. College sweetie. All of my 20s spent with him. And then it went sour. For how angry I was and am. That we don’t talk anymore at all. I remember those fun times. So many great memories still make me smile. It doesn’t negate those pieces of your life because it’s connected to someone You’re no longer with. Or because there were some horrific or just unpleasant times. You had good times. So here I agree.

  11. Linda says:

    Her again. Didn’t read what she said. I am just wondering why anybody would care what she is saying anymore.