Gabrielle Union discusses fertility: ‘I have had eight or nine miscarriages’

The 69th Emmy Awards

Gabrielle Union has been with Dwyane Wade for years now. Gabrielle was accused of being “the other woman” when Wade’s first marriage to Siohvaughn Funches broke down, and when I say that, I mean that Siohvaughn openly accused Gabrielle of being a shady homewrecker. Wade and Funches had two sons together, Zaire and Zion, plus Wade is raising his nephew Dahveon. Plus, Wade got another woman pregnant when he was with Gabrielle, so there’s another boy, Xavier, in the mix too. Basically, when Gabrielle married Wade in 2014, she became a stepmother to four growing boys (two of whom are teenagers now). I always wondered why Gabrielle and Dwyane didn’t have a child together, but Gabrielle always talked about how she didn’t really want kids of her own in interviews. Now, in her new book, Gabrielle reveals that she actually did want or does want kids, but she’s had big problems carrying a pregnancy. Her book is called We’re Going to Need More Wine. This is a sad story:

Gabrielle Union has revealed she has suffered multiple miscarriages in attempted to have a much-longed for baby with NBA star husband Dwyane Wade. In her new book We’re Going to Need More Wine — excerpted exclusively in the new issue of PEOPLE — the star of BET’s Being Mary Jane opens up about her struggles with infertility and failed IVF treatments.

“I have had eight or nine miscarriages,” Union, 44, writes in the book. “For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.”

While Union has spoken about IVF previously, she did not reveal the heartbreaking struggle she has faced. But even after enduring three years of failed IVF cycles and being constantly bloated from the hormones, Union writes that she and Wade “remain bursting with love and ready to do anything to meet the child we’ve both dreamed of.”

The pair tied the knot in August 2014 and at first, the star didn’t see children as part of her future. But, after realizing how much joy she felt raising three boys with Wade, 35 — his nephew Dahveon Morris, 16, and sons from a previous marriage Zaire, 15, and Zion, 10 (Wade’s third son Xavier, 3, conceived with another woman while Wade and Union were broken up, lives with his mother) — Union first discovered that having a baby was something she wanted.

“I never wanted kids,” she tells PEOPLE. “Then I became a stepmom, and there was no place I’d rather be than with them.”

Dealing with infertility while being in the public eye hasn’t been easy for Union, who constantly is reminded of her struggle each time she’s asked by both family and strangers alike when she’s having kids.

“For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?’” she says. “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.”

“Once a month I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated,” she says. “It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors and anytime I go into a doctor’s office I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate.”

[From People]

As I said, I’ve always idly wondered why Gabrielle and Dwyane didn’t try to have a child together. But she’s absolutely right – those kinds of questions and speculations are frustrating to women who are going through fertility issues. Not to mention, those conversations are none of my business. Still, people are going to gossip. Everyone gossips, and it’s not always done with an evil or shady motivation. Sometimes, people are just curious and mean no harm. And now they’ll know – Gabrielle’s fighting a war with her own body. Nine miscarriages… my God. Poor Gabrielle.

The 69th Emmy Awards

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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86 Responses to “Gabrielle Union discusses fertility: ‘I have had eight or nine miscarriages’”

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  1. Nicole says:

    So heartbreaking.

    • denisemich says:

      It is heartbreaking. I am curious why they haven’t tried a surrogate.

      • whynot says:

        A donor egg would be a lot easier. Generally the issue isn’t the ability to carry a child but the fact that over 40, unfortunately, most women’s eggs are not viable.

      • lara says:

        @ whynot: with eight or nine misscarriages, the problem is not with the eggs, but with carrying the pregnancy to term. A donor egg would not help.

    • Sabrine says:

      So why doesn’t she get a gestational carrier instead of having multiple miscarriages? Sorry, but there are options and I don’t understand why she doesn’t utilize them if she wants a baby so bad.

      • Reginacat says:

        Hi – as someone who has also had multiple miscarriages these options are not always (a) feasible or (b) desirable. When I hit 41 and had my fifth miscarriage, I knew that a donor egg was not an option for me so it was our time to stop. Also there are no guarantees with fertility treatment – despite what the media (maybe unintentionally?) tends to suggest.

        Everyone has to choose their own time to end “trying”, including fertility treatment. I chose my path because the cycling of hope, anxiety and grief was just too debilitating on both my husband and my mental health and wellbeing.

        Making suggestions about did you try this or have you thought about this are just not helpful – so please if you know someone going through any sort of struggles with pregnancy and fertility – just give them space to make their own choices and plenty of non-judgemental love and support.

        Even if you just fall back on asking – what do you need right now? it will probably be the best thing you can do. After number 3 or 4, I remember my husband asking me that as we walked back from the ultrasound and I said a vanilla milkshake – and he took me to the place in Sydney (Aust) which made the best ones. That is love and that is support. And I will always remember how good it made me feel.

      • Livvers says:

        Thank you so much for sharing, Reginacat.

  2. Tess says:

    Wait, what? He got another woman pregnant while he was with her AND in between (or before?) THEY were trying to have a baby? Oh hell no, that ended up surprisingly callous.

    • Dj Jazzy Jen says:

      From the articles I’ve seen they say it was a break baby, but who knows what the real situation was. The thing that rubs me wrong about the whole thing is her refusal to acknowledge that son when referring to her step-kids. My heart goes out to her though, I can’t imagine going through what she has trying to have a baby.

      • Kanye's Blonde Hair says:

        They just said that to protect both images. They were very much together and it makes what he did even more horrible. My God. I can’t imagine her pain.

      • Addison says:

        💔 Poor Gabrielle. I think she doesn’t speak of the other kid because he does not live with them. Her attachment is not the same as the other kids because they actually are together a lot more. I always wanted kids but I’m older not married. Thought of science helping but I can’t afford that. I think I am going to adopt. I hope it works out for her.

    • Lorelai says:

      @Tess: My reaction was the same.

      Miscarriages are heartbreaking no matter the circumstances and I can’t even imagine what it would be like to endure that many.

      But why on earth would she want to bring a child into the world with this guy??

  3. third ginger says:

    I got tears in my eyes reading this. My best to this young woman and family.

  4. Babooshka says:

    The only thing more heartbreaking than this is if I see people shading her or making some tenuous argument of why “they have no sympathy because she’s the other woman.”

  5. Tania says:

    I’m so sorry she’s had to go through that. I have a friend who suffered multiple losses, including two at well over 20 weeks. She finally had a baby with a surrogate. There can be light at the end of the tunnel for some. But it’s hell to get there.

  6. harperb says:

    the aversion people have to adoption is odd to me, especially people who can easily afford it.

    • Tanya says:

      The willingness of people to recommend adoption despite all the ethical and emotional issues amazes me. Adoption can work out well, but it’s also a small tragedy it and of itself.

      • Donna says:

        A very large tumor, and subsequent full hysterectomy, left me unable to carry a child. I adopted my daughter 18 years ago. Adoption can be a wonderful option, but is not the answer for everyone.

      • paranormalgirl says:

        I would have given everything I had to have been adopted when I was a child. To have had a family instead of growing up in a children’s home. There is no tragedy in adoption.

      • VirgiliaCoriolanus says:


        That makes me cry! I was raised (for a formative period of time), by a very conservative parent (along with a super liberal one, so I had both worlds) in a conservative church and it never made sense to me, even at 12, etc that if they did not want abortions or to pay for benefits of poor people/children, why they didn’t adopt more and be the example–instead of having as many children as they could, and the few who did adopt, adopted from other countries, while shitting on their own country’s poor kids…..

        But I made a pledge to myself to adopt older kids, and I do not particularly care about ever getting pregnant………..

        I hope the rest of your life turned out well. That is just really sad to me. Even if I’ve been annoyed or disliked my parents, I never doubted that they wanted me……….

      • Veronica says:

        I’m trying to respond to this constructively, but honestly, I’m still mind blown you seriously just referred to adoption as a “small tragedy.” Jesus Christ. Way to degrade the choices made by thousands of people and needy children.

      • Brittany says:

        Not to start a fight, but I am just curious as to what ethical issues are boundaries to legal adoption by financially and emotionally sound parents?
        We have several adopted members on my mom’s side and I know of 2 at least who would highly disagree with your statement.

      • Tata says:

        @Brittany I am going to speak…hopefully do not offend anyone, just relaying what i have researched.

        I think the issue tanya is referring to can be that sometimes mothers in poor countries (or even the US) want to keep their baby, but there can be unspoken of and tremendous pressure for a mom to give her baby up so her baby can in theory have a ‘better life’ — with wealthier people. And sometimes adoption involves perverse financial incentives for the birth mother to give up her baby. (Have seen this happen in latin america, where rich people who cannot conceive can pay a mother for her baby, don’t know about the US)

        An aside: an interesting author is rickie solinger who found papers stating that abortion was discouraged by the US government because government believed a larger population would help the US win the cold war. Seems relevant still today, huh?

        Solinger also found that In the 50s and 60s in the US, by and large only white women were offered adoption services, whereas black women were not given the same option. So adoption really is not

        Finally, Solinger also does research on how giving a baby up for adoption can have lifelong psychological affects for the mother if she was pressured. It is hard to do research in this area, to say the least.

        Solinger is pretty adamant that adoption of babies and young children unfortunately ends up hurting poorer mothers who want to keep their babies but do not have steady means. Or support to take care of their children with disabilities, congenital birth issues, etc.

        I have seen the beauty of adoption and yet it also seems like it can come from a place of shaming women (ie the society labels the mothers as unfit or they “got themselves into trouble” when in fact it seems like it was lack of social support).

      • Lorelai says:

        I took the “small tragedy” comment to meant that it’s unfortunate that there are children in this world who are parentless and in the position of needing to be adopted.

        I’m not the OP so this is just a guess, but it didn’t come across as malicious to me at all.

      • Tata says:

        @Lorelai, I had a friend work for a charity which was based on the statistic that when children have a family member who was unaware of the children’s existence in foster care, I think 60% of the time the family member agrees to take the children in. It is both amazing and a tragedy that this family member would have helped earlier, had they known their relatives’ children needed it.

        And in the cases where children are adopted outside of extended family, I guess my experience with adoptive friends and family has been if the child can maintain some connections to extended family of origin or at the very least their parents’ culture, then that can be a big help.

        So, for example, my friend’s parents set their child up to have a ‘big sister’ from child’s same country and ethnicity, who had also been adopted by caucasian people in the US, and they spoke child’s language together just in case child was ever interested in reconnecting with country of origin.

        I am always amazed that there are people who even think of these things? Like, there are some truly amazing people who adopt and I look at all this consideration and sensitivity you would have to have for your child’s situation and I am in awe.

        But perhaps all children need that kind of consideration and sensitivity from their parents, adopted or not? I also saw a tumblr about a woman who adopted someone from Another country and her family was pissed that the child wasn’t more grateful (???) and missed her birth mom, and that kind of thing makes me sad for bio mom, adoptive family and child.

      • Tania says:

        A small tragedy? Are you for real? My parents adopted me and I was the very best thing to ever happen to them. I was 100% wanted and loved. I was super lucky to have been adopted and to have such an amazing family. It was win win on all fronts. I realize that not everyone case may be like mine, but to refer to adoption as a small tragedy is totally offensive.

      • Scotchy says:

        Well I was adopted and I do not feel that it was a tragedy in any way shape and form. I also know of other adults that were adopted and within that group none of them feel that being adopted was a tragedy.
        You know what, I think, not being adopted is a tragedy.
        Not being fostered is a tragedy.
        The lack of people willing to step up and bring non biological children into their home is a tragedy
        . The fact that yes often adoption and fostering are a last resort is a tragedy.

        I love my family and feel happy that they picked me. I know my biological parents and let me just say they made the best decision giving me up as I had an amazing upbringing and have a beautiful loving supportive family.

        This may come off as a bit aggressive but I took a bit of offensive to the “being adopted is a tragedy” comment.

      • aenflex says:

        Adoption is a wonderful option. A tragedy is an unwanted child subjected to a life of, at best, benign negelect, at worst – all out abuse. A love story is a child adopted by parents that welcome, shelter and love that child more than anything.

        I just won’t ever be able to understand people who are against adoption.

      • Tanya says:

        Yes, a small tragedy. The fact that any woman feels that she needs to give up her child is a tragedy, even if the child is better off in the long run. It can be a wonderful thing to adopt and a sad thing to have your baby adopted. In an ideal world, every baby would have a loving, healthy mother who was willing and able to raise it. We don’t live in that world, and yes, I find that a tragedy. And that’s before you dig into the darker side of adoption.

        I come from a country that was a popular place for foreign adoptions until the government banned them. I’ve seen the type of manipulation and exploitation that happens. I’ve also seen a friend pour years of effort into adopting only to have it fall apart at the last minute. I know adoptees who have never been able to get over the pain of feeling rejected by their birth mothers, and women who are haunted by their loss babies. Adoption is not simple, and it shouldn’t tossed out as an easy answer.

    • BJ says:

      Why would she adopt a kid when she is raising three kids? It’s not like she is yearning to be raise kids.She is yearning to carry a child.

    • Mari says:

      YES! I do feel sorry for her but it’s inconceivable to me how someone put themselves through that just to have a child of their own… EIGHT times!
      I would have stopped around three. It just too painful.

      • Amy Tennant says:

        My mother had eight miscarriages. I was her ninth pregnancy, and my brother was her tenth.
        I don’t think I could have done it.

      • Tania says:

        I think people continue to try because the research shows (or at least it did as of 2011 when I was trying) that those who go through these terrible tragedies are actually very likely to go on and carry a baby to term.

    • Wooley says:

      Yeah, I agree. I know IVF is expensive and they can afford to do however many rounds, but I don’t think it can be great for your body to be that stressed for so long!

  7. Lightpurple says:

    My heart goes out to her. And she’s right about the questions. Those questions cause pain.

  8. Bridget says:

    That’s so sad. My mom went through something similar. Those celebs who miraculously get pregnant at 40+? At least a portion of them are getting medical assistance. Women wait for a ton of reasons – career, school, goals – but it’s important to realize what that may cost. One of life’s incredibly unfair realities.

    • Miss Melissa says:

      Some women wait because they have no choice and no partner.

      And people still assume it was a voluntary decision and she was gambling.

      • Bridget says:

        Biology doesn’t care why you wait, though. It’s a cruel trade off, but there’s this fallacy out there that medical science has advanced enough that we can beat Time. Sadly, not the case.

      • Miss Melissa says:

        Your words are cold Bridget. The point is not everyone who waits believes that “fallacy.”

        Some people still hope they will get a miracle. But by all means, dump on that hope.

      • Bridget says:

        So what you’re saying is, it’s unfair and you don’t want to hear it. Biological fact isn’t being “cold”.

        This is just the reality of procreation. Like it or not, we have an expiration date – and it’s one that doesn’t care about our reasoning.

      • Miss Melissa says:

        No what I’m saying is that you continue to suggest that all folks who wait are banking on a fallacy as though it is your job to set them straight, poor foolish dears.

        Using words like “trade off”, “fallacy” and “realize the cost” imply some deserving and a whole lot of choice. Women face fertility issues and don’t have babies for a whole host of reasons. There is too much judgement already, and a whole host of people gleefully ready discuss the ticking clock.

        She was brave to be so honest on all fronts.

        Another biological fact is that we are all going to die. When a person suddenly drops dead of a heart attack or an aneurysm, no one shakes their head and says: “wow, he shouldn’t have had any hope or expectations for tomorrow, because we can’t beat time and we all die.”

    • Tweetime says:

      I struggle a lot with this right now.
      I have a partner and we both have stable careers but I’m also in school to get another degree and we aren’t married (which I had originally wanted to do first).
      But I’m also 28, and the more I hear and read about people’s stories, the more I wonder if I should be starting soon. Things won’t happen in my ideal order and school will be more of a challenge but I worry about doing it all “perfectly” and then finding I can’t conceive or carry to term. Ah! The pressure.

  9. M. says:

    Very heartbreaking for her. I’ve always kind of skipped over these stories because I didn’t understand the pain and had nothing to comment. But, last week i miscarried my baby at ten weeks pregnant. My entire family was so excited, my five year old daughter is devastated and won’t talk about it. It was the worst experience of my life and everyday has been a struggle since. I can’t imagine going through that eight or nine times. My husband and I have decided to not try again, I can’t take that kind of pain again. Gabrielle is a strong determined woman. Hope her dreams come true

    • Humbug says:

      You get all the hugs I have to give today. And your extra bright star amazing for wishing good thought towards others.

    • LizLemonGotMarried says:

      I am SO sorry. My heart is breaking for you-I lost my second child at 16 weeks last July and I had a five year old at the time as well. I can’t describe the devastation to someone who hasn’t gone through it-it’s like your heart just left your body, and the grief is overwhelming, just wave after wave of pain. Trying to explain it to a child who wants a baby brother or sister is so difficult. I am tearing up writing this, but I promise you, the sun peeks out eventually. The only thing I will say in advice is grief shared is grief lessened, a tiny bit. My friends and family all knew what we were going through, and they were unbelievable. Two of my friends have had babies in the last year, and our friend group did everything they could to support me so I could cope with watching them have what I wanted so badly. Places like CB and Jezzie were amazing too-there’s SO many women out there with shared experiences.

      Love and hugs your way.

      • M. says:

        Thank you so much for the kind words. It’s comforting to know that I am not alone in my pain. This past week has been the most emotional time in my life and I haven’t been able to speak to anyone about it because I can’t stop crying. I live in a small town and I haven’t been to go out in public, I have so much anxiety because I know people are going to ask when they see me. I went to a school assembly today at My daughters school and nearly had a panic attack. I honestly never knew that there could be this much pain

      • third ginger says:

        My comment ended up below, but very best to M. and Liz. Many years ago I had an early miscarriage and also lost my son when I was 5 months pregnant. So fortunate to have finally had[ at 40] our wonderful girl [ now almost 25]. Thank you for these thoughtful posts. A support group was helpful for me. Wish CB had been around sooner.

    • Snowflake says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Asiyah says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss, M and LizLemonGotMarried. My heart aches for you and your loved ones.

    • Mumzy says:

      I’m again reminded that the CB community is an amazing collection of people from all over the world because of commenters like you, who share such personal information from their lives — funny moments from their days, news of critical illnesses, and for those brave and willing, heartache and staggering loss. Know that CB commenters/readers are not a virtual reality, but a group of real people around the globe who care and whose hearts go out to you. I hope that there will be moments when you will feel waves of strength and support sent your way from me, and no doubt many, many others.

    • Polly says:

      I’m so sorry. Lots of love to you and your family.

    • Lorelai says:

      @M., I am so sorry to hear that. It has only happened to me once as well, but was easily the worst time of my life. The pain is unbearable. Hang in there.

    • whynot says:

      My heart goes out to you. I also miscarried (for the third time) about two months ago at 11 weeks, after a healthy heartbeat was found on the last ultrasound. My kid just turned 4 and after having previous multiple miscarriages, we didn’t tell her, so luckily she wasn’t affected. I’m so sorry for you and your family.

      If you’re under 40, you should have a really good chance of having another child, especially since you already have a child. I understand how hard it is and not wanting to try again. It is obviously completely your choice but from my experience, once all the pregnancy hormones wear off in about a month or so, you might change your mind and want to try again. It’s no consolation now I’m sure (especially coming from a stranger) but I promise you will feel at least a little better once the hormones wear off. That month or so afterwards is absolutely brutal but you will get through.

      Good luck to you.

  10. Wooley says:

    I had to Google her age, most articles left it out. She is 44 years old..

    • Erica_V says:

      I did not realize there was such an age difference between them!

      She still looks exactly the same as she did in Bring It On.

  11. Eliza says:

    Having 8 miscarriages is heart wrenching! I do feel extremely bad for them if they wanted another kid and couldn’t. She was 41 when they got married and it’s hard at that age to start, even with ivf, there are no guarantees.

    I’ll never understand their relationship (cheating, babies with mistresses, etc) but I can’t imagine their heartbreak over Gabrielle’s miscarriages.

  12. third ginger says:

    M. I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for better days for you and your family.

  13. JenB says:

    This is so sad. I’m glad she opened up about it because it raises awareness about how some questions can be hurtful even if they are innocently asked.

  14. BJ says:

    Do you give that same advice to everyone that their “genes aren’t special”? BTW what does him having three sons have to do with her wanting to give birth to a child?
    I have to get off this post before I curse somebody out.

  15. thaisajs says:

    I only had one miscarriage while I was trying to get pregnant and it was horrible. I can’t imagine having eight or nine. Given her age and her previous struggles, maybe they could look at having a surrogate? My brother-in-law’s sister also had troubles staying pregnant because her body kept attacking the fetus for some reason and they finally went the surrogate route.

  16. Maggie says:

    Yes, BJ. I do. Your genes truly are not that special from a scientific perspective. It’s personally important but not species important. Him already having three sons is an issue because those three sons will go on to spread his genes. Exponential population growth will doom our children and the planet.

  17. lolamimi says:

    I empathize with her. I tried IVF once, it failed and I almost died from an alerggic reaction from the drugs. 1 in 100,00 women have this reaction. That was enough for me. I could not medically try again. I was traumatized and took me 7 months to physically recover. I had no support from my then husband. He didn’t come with me for the Invitro and then didn’t nurse me when I came home to recover. I think that was the most traumatizing. I also tell people now that I choose not to have children. I am now separated from him. And I can say about that time now is thank god we did not have children together!!! For so many reasons now 10 years later I see that it was a blessing in disguise and not meant to be! Life works in amazing ways. Happier than ever now!

  18. Sonja says:

    I’ve had 5 chemical pregnanices, one stillbirth at 21st week with twins and two miscarriages in the last 3 years. At the same time, I have a full time, very challenging job, high debts to pay, and have been dealing with my mom’s problems. I have been battling depression and have severe mood swings. And yet, I wake up everyday and try to put on a smile. No one knows what we’re going through with my husband. Life sucks, but we are really trying….

  19. Jill says:

    Losing a pregnancy is so devastating. I have had 2 miscarriages and a stillborn at 39 weeks. I have also done 2 ivf’s, 1 failed and my second attempt is now my twin sons. The whole process took me five years. My heart goes out to her and to everyone who has lost a pregnancy.

  20. JA says:

    I like Gabrielle because of her very vocal support of sexual abuse survivors, her calling out of racist and sexist Hollywood and specifically taking Lena Denham to task. That said, she is choosing to have such a messy personal romantic life. She is/ was far too good a woman to be a side peice, every woman is honestly, but she allowed it. She has allowed Wade to drag her dignity through the mud and continues to publicize their “love” as couples goal. She needs to start practicing what she preaches and knowing her self worth! I can’t imagine the pain of the miscarriages but perhaps in the future she will have a child of her own with someone deserving of her and the kid. Wade is a huge peice of SH*T and if she ties her anchor to him longer, it will bring her down even more so.

    • roses says:

      +1. It boggles my mind with the crap she’s put up with, well allowed is a better word because she had a choice in dealing with it all.

    • jwoolman says:

      If she breaks up with him, she loses her stepchildren. Not a good solution for her.

  21. monette says:

    I will forever be grateful to the amazing women in my life who have battled miscarriages, at 4monts, at 8months, countless rounds of unsuccessful ivfs and who have shared their traumatic infertility stories with me. Thanks to them, me and my husband, decided really early in our relationship to have a child. He is trully the best thing we ever did.
    I was 30 and had a history of amenoreea. So we decide to start early because we knew it can take a while or not even happen at all.
    We were very lucky. But who knows what would have happened had we waited another couple of years.
    So thank you to M and other CB commenters and all women everywhere for sharing your stories!!

  22. Serene Wolf says:

    Spiritually, she needs to tranform her ideas about love. Why she needs to give it and why it matters so much to whom. Love is love.

    • JA says:

      Well said. 9 miscarriages.. can’t imagine the heartbreak but sounds like something she was committed to, to birth and love a child of her own. Honestly believe the kind of love and bond she seeks is what is lacking in her marriage and or life in general. Hoping she finds that contentment somewhere.

  23. Chelly says:

    Im 36 & have had several miscarriages (no kids) & i get the whole “when are you having a baby already” “time is ticking youre getting older” blah blah blah. I always answer w idk or just shrug it off. Bc im so private most ppl who know me either think A) she just doesn’t want kids or B) know of A miscarriage but not all of them. It isnt a sore subject for me but definitely one i admittedly do get tired of answering

    • blonde555 says:

      I understand how you feel. We have had 3 miscarriages but have no plans on giving up. One every year starting at 30years old, no reason found. It’s easy to give up hope but in the end the sadness and pain we have all gone through will be worth it. GL to all you ladies ☺ baby dust to all.

  24. What's Inside says:

    My heart goes out to her.

  25. Reef says:

    This is beyond sad. It really makes me hate D-Wade and I’m a super fan. To think that he had a baby w/ another woman while she was going through this and he knew her history, he’s less than trash.

    • ORIGINAL T.C. says:


    • KC says:

      It seems as if she didn’t have a desire or start trying for a baby until after they were married and she was 41 but perhaps I read that wrong.

      I will say, for years of following Gabby’s career and relationship one thing that’s always concerned me for her that I’ve dialogued about with a friend is her waiting around for that chucklehead of hers to marry her. For years I’d been saying she must not care to have kids but I hope she doesn’t change her mind (another reason I got the impression having a baby happened after marriage) because she was wasting her child-bearing years on a man who wouldn’t army her and she’d have nothing left and no one to quickly start with. My friend was convinced that was part of the reason she was staying-she wasn’t interested in kids or she’d invested so much in Him she wanted to see it through.

      Either way he did her dirty, taking so long to marry her, getting someone pregnant in their 10-minute break. I hope they last because losing both her childbearing years and stepsons would be heartbreaking.😞

  26. ValM99 says:

    After NINE miscarriages that’s a sign that your body isn’t meant to carry kids. It’s a lot to put yourself through. I believe if she truly wanted just kids, a surrgogate or adoption. Dwayne cheated on her, and fathered another child (one she completely ignores). She also was declared infertile before their split. I think it’s psycholigical bc she’s seeing another woman give him something she can’t. It’s hard, but sometimes we have to move on. It’s not good for her physically, mentally or emotionally. I hope she figures it out soon. This is also why I don’t ask couples why they don’t have kids yet. Never know the behind the scenes drama

    • ValiantlyVarnished says:

      That is NOT a sign that her body isn’t able to carry kids. Women have multiple miscarriages and then go on to have healthy pregnancies. It is beyond insensitive to say that – especially on this thread with women who are currently struggling to conceive amd/or carry a baby to term.

  27. Dani says:

    Poor GU. So much stress on her body, physically and psychologically. Unfortunately, it sounds like the stats are not in her favor on having a live birth on her own. If all those miscarriages were from implanted embryos (from her eggs and not donor eggs), she probably doesn’t have that many embryos left to use. Maybe she will try a surrogate, maybe she will decide to stop. Either way, I wish her well and I hope she has a strong support network because infertility sucks big time.

  28. Jenn says:

    Wow I relate in that I went through my 30s with people asking – and I told ppl I didn’t want one but it was a total lie.
    It hurt. Man that’s so much pain she’s gone through.
    I wanted a child so bad. I was in a crappy relationship in my 30s and thought “if I leave him I don’t have time to meet anyone else, fall in love, hope the new man will want a baby with me plus I’m probably gonna have a hard time getting pregnant.”

    I got out of the relationship anyway at 38 and reconciled myself to never having a biological child. Started saving to adopt- then fell in love and got pregnant all within four months. I was a month shy of 41 when I gave birth to my sweet daughter.

    • KC says:

      Jenn, I found your story very encouraging. At 37, I simply haven’t been in a relationship with anyone yet for this to be a possibility. I’ve worried that either I will continue to not be in a relationship since after all this time I haven’t it seems less likely at this point, or that by the time I do it’ll be too late. Your story and my recent surgery give me hope.

      I actually had laparoscopy one morning last week to remove a large fibroid tumor and woke up later that night, admitted to the hospital because the doctor discovered that the fibroid was so large, had been leeching my blood supply, and had twisted my uterus that the doctor had to perform a c-section to save my uterus and remove the tumor. Thankfully that was successful and revealed several other tumors outside my uterus. I told him later “so I’ve never had sex or been pregnant but I’ve just had a c-section…”. He responded, “well, now you can do both!”. The surgery occurred before my uterus could be damaged and he told me I have a healthy uterus so he sees no reason why I can’t still have children and because all the fibroids were outside my uterus, if I did, vaginal birth is still possible. I wait to see what the next few years of my life will bring hopefully, like you it’ll be sweet surprises.

      • Jenn says:

        @KC I’m happy it encouraged you! For me I was so broken by negativity in my relationship and mind and always blaming myself for being “stupid” and not figuring out younger how to know a good man or relationship etc etc and I feel like so much of reading content for women in their thirties is so negative and tsk tsk you better worry now you not-so-young lady. Almost like gleeful that you may not get what you want (to be a mom). F*** that noise. It’s so poisonous. We can become moms through adoption, sometimes birth, or, for some women through Ivf and other ways. And it is the sweetest thing, I love people’s different stories!
        That’s wonderful news and a cool story about your csection and finding out your uterus is healthy! I had a fibroid issue too that tripped me up …. they ended up giving me an appendectomy at four months pregnant thinking it was the appendix. Omg. It was fibroids which they knew I had four big ones but one was near my appendix. Even with big fibroids I ended up with a great birth and it all ended up fine! (Though I did go through pain due to them.)
        I wish the best for you!!

  29. IMUCU says:

    There is a gene that doctors should be testing for in women, especially those that have multiple miscarriages & no history of reproductive system disorders/diseases. If the gene is mutated, it can act like a teratogen and cause miscarriages. 20% of women have a mutation in this gene, the most common mutations range from “mild” to “severe”. This gene can be checked by doing a simple blood test. The gene is called MTHFR. It causes the body to not be able to methylate compounds. For example, if you take folic acid, and you have a mutation, you cannot methylate folic acid so your body cannot assimilate it properly. Instead the folic acid blocks the receptor sites where dietary folate gotten from food could go, further causing folate deficiency. This leads to neural tube defects and miscarriages. So, if you have a MTHFR gene mutation you need to take methylated versions of folic acid (and other vitamins/minerals that require methylation, like B12). MTHFR mutations are also linked to mental health and autoimmune disorders. If you are having problems, please ask for this blood test since 20% of women have this mutation.