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If you would have told me last week that Julia Stiles would have encountered enough mom shamers on Instagram to prompt her to write a response, I wouldn’t have believed you. That’s because Julia is so private and low key that she didn’t announce the birth of her baby boy, Strummer, until late last month, about a month after he was born. We didn’t know Julia was pregnant until she was obviously showing and we didn’t hear that she was married until a few weeks after she made it official, either. She has her life on lockdown.
Julia avoids controversy and press, but she’ll respond when people are annoying on Instagram, and that seems inevitable where babies and children are concerned. Julia posted this cute photo with little five week-old Strummer in a front-facing baby carrier. She’s so guarded about things that this must have been a careful decision. We’ve only seen the baby’s hand so far in the birth announcement and aren’t seeing his face, but she wanted to share a little something with the public.
This is sweet and I love her expression. Instead of congratulating her on her baby, many commenters were quick to point out that the baby wasn’t positioned correctly in the carrier. (I can’t see those comments as they’re hidden underneath the more supportive ones now, but I think their issue was that the baby’s legs were inside the carrier.) There were so many of these comments that Julia responded, telling people to chill essentially.
Ok well now I know why she named her son Stummer! The late Joe Strummer (1952 – 2002) was the lead singer for the Clash. I used to listen to the Clash as a teen and this is bringing back memories. I guess Magnificent Seven and Train in Vain are good to rock out to. (Guns of Brixton and Lost in The Supermarket are my favorite singles.) That’s an excellent name actually because it’s unique without being too different and is not stigmatizing.
Now you know, even the most private and careful of celebrity moms are subject to internet judgment. Judgment is like air on social media, it’s all around all the time and it’s essential to keep the system running.
Photos credit: WENN and Getty
People are funny, but many need a hobby. The Clash is awesome. That is all I got.
I’m always one to call out the “Mommy Brigade” of shamers, but I will say that many of these “shamers” actually seemed like they were genuinely trying to help. All of the ones that I saw were something to the effect of “Such a sweet photo, but for the future, you never want to have the feet inside the waistband.” It seemed more like “I’d rather you not accidentally kill your baby so here’s a helpful tip from someone who has been there.”
Should the legs be hanging out? Yes. Is it printed on the carrier? Most likely. Is he a little guy who could worm is legs back inside to be warm? Totally.
Its very obviously a staged photo for the products, I doubt he was in it longer than 3 minutes. It’s ok.
I think there is room for controversy regarding the baby’s position in a front- pack. The way she is carrying him in the photo fairly closely mimics the fetal position in utero. Babies with legs out of a front pack mimic a more frog- like splaying of the femur/ hip unit, which can be problematic too, if exposed to that position for longer periods. If you search for photos, many cultures wear the very young (not yet crawling) on the side of the hip ( so that there is less abduction ) or in a more laying down position agains the abdomen- it is not until they are old enough to be mobile that the majority are worn with legs akimbo on the back.
I will always stand on Kat Stratford’s side!!
But NOT Lumen, fuck Lumen.
The comments I read were not remotely snarky-just suggesting how she might fit him into the carrier better.
I thought the same thing! A lot of them complimented her first and then offered it as advice.
I’m guessing she doesn’t need help and comments from complete strangers. As much as those people might think that they were just trying to be helpful, it’s totally unnecessary to school anyone let alone a stranger. Let a friend or relative gently suggest. Being a Mom isn’t an open invite for everyone to correct you under the guise of “think of the children” nonsense. Somehow all of us survived as kids without this culture of thinking every parent is open to correction and criticism by virtue of parenthood.
On the up side, I thought Julia looked absolutely lovely in the pics in which she was pregnant. The dresses were very pretty.
Right-but if you put it out on social media, you’re asking for comments back. Plus-even though they might be complete strangers, if she’s using the carrier incorrectly she might want to readjust. It’s not like people were saying-“You’re going to stunt your baby’s growth”.
Josephine that’s exactly what I was thinking. After I had my son, I was kind of defensive about people telling me what to do and how to do things with my baby unsolicited. It’s hard enough being a parent and, as long as you’re not putting your child in imminent danger or anything, people need to stuff it. Pictures are a tiny snapshot into someone’s life, not the full picture. I think people forget that
But, she was making a post about the product… publically, and was using it incorrectly. People pointed out that her use of the product was incorrect. If the original post didn’t have to do with the carrier, I’d get her defensiveness. But it did, so she kind brought this one on herself. Mommy shaming? Not imo.
She doing a product endorsement on social media and is using the product in correctly what did she expect?
She comes off really defensive and seems mad because she didn’t get comments she wanted. News flash it’s social media and if she’s that sensitive and she shouldn’t be on it or make it private. Unless people were saying what a horrible mother she is and that she’s going to kill her baby then nobody was questioning her ability to mother her child.
Then again maybe she’s mad because she was told she was using the product in correctly when she was trying to endorse it, not a good look.
This thread is cracking me up. She posted a picture on social media therefore she is asking for it. Saying that a woman is asking for judgment just because she post something on social media is ridiculous. If you post something on social media it’s normal to expect comments (unless you disable them) but a comment is different than judgment, mommy shaming, always assuming you know best, etc. I don’t blame her for telling people to chill out.
A good many things in life could be made much better by listening to the Clash’s London Calling on full blast before commenting on anything or making any major decisions
Agree. I still have the live double vinyl 33 rpm version.
Question; Is it possible for a clebrity or other well-known person NOT to have social media?
I don’t have any of it. I have so much to fill my days that there’s no way I could ever keep up with it, but more importantly (for me) is that I am very private – if I want you to know or see something, you’ll get it directly from me. Also, judging by what my family and friends tell me, I couldn’t stand the drama. Are there any celebs without social media? Just curious.
Yes there are alot of A list celebrities and well-known peopme who do not have social media.
Yes, Julia, really smart to alienate your fan base. What a peach. Look infants can and have died from being in carriers incorrectly . This isn’t a mom shaming issue. This is a public service education issue. She is famousish and people will see this photo. She could have simply added a disclaimer. I make baby slings and would never use or want someone no matter how famous to share a picture of an infant in the carrier incorrectly .
Not to be persnickety, but we can’t actually tell if the baby’s feet are under or above the waistband. I’m guessing he’s totally fine. As a mom of two youngins, I get the urge to correct things if it looks like a baby is uncomfortable or unsafe, but I think this was much ado about nothing.
If you’re shilling for a product on your social media you can’t expect everyone to stay quiet when you’re using that product in the wrong way.
She was doing a product endorsement, right? And using her baby in it. On social media. Yep, that’s an invitation to comment.