Gwyneth Paltrow: Chris Martin ‘is really like my brother, we’re very familial’

Gwyneth Paltrow during an appearance on CBS' 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.'

Gwyneth Paltrow made an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night. I’m trying to watch the video right now and I honestly can’t get past her hair!! What is wrong with me? And what is wrong with her hair?? I have a #blessed life with my Indian hair genes, I know, so I shouldn’t be mean about Gwyn’s hair, but she’s a 45-year-old woman and she’s still clinging to this straw color and keeping it so long and fried. I can’t. Anyway, Colbert is remarkably nice about everything, and she was on the show just to shill for her Goop Empire. Here’s the video:

The big headline – beyond her hair still being awful – is that Gwyneth is still saying words about her conscious uncoupling from Chris Martin. Regarding the man she had sex with regularly for years, resulting in two children, Gwyneth said: “He’s really like my brother, we’re very familial. It’s nice, it’s great.” She needs to find a different way of saying this. She’s said it before, and so it’s like her go-to line now and it’s awful. You don’t describe an ex-lover/husband as “like a brother.” It’s creepy. When asked if she thinks conscious uncoupling could work for every divorcing couple, Gwyneth said: “Divorce is terrible, it was very painful, it was really hard. We really genuinely wanted our kids to be as unscathed as possible. We thought if we could really maintain the family even though we weren’t a couple that was kind of the goal so that’s what we’ve tried to do.”

Here’s another clip with Goop and Colbert. I guess we’re supposed to give her props for making fun of herself, but all I can think about is how much bad science she promotes and profits from.

Gwyneth Paltrow during an appearance on CBS' 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.'

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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57 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: Chris Martin ‘is really like my brother, we’re very familial’”

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  1. Ally says:

    I couldn’t believe how tart the Goop mockery was on Modern Family recently, down to the hair and mannerisms. Especially with Chris Martin also doing a guest role in the same season.

    Nice to see Mira Sorvino again, though!

    • KBB says:

      Lol when Mira said the stickers do work, you just have to stick them in your colon I could not stop laughing.

    • LetItGo says:

      Two points:

      1)Regarding Goop’s passive aggressive over-emphasizing of her supposed close relationship with Martin, it’s strategic and is done to be off-putting to any prospective NEW younger famous love interests of Chris Martin. This is a guy who in the 2-3 years since they’ve split has dated Jennifer Lawrence Oscar winning IT girl on steroids and
      is now dating another hot IT girl, Miss 50 Shades, Hollywood royalty Dakota Johnson. Both are in their twenties with fire careers.

      The very fact that Martin seems to be trying to one up Goopyth herself (because of all the women in the world, even in his own industry of music) – why keep going for actresses with hot careers?

      Frankly it’s like theyre both being passive aggressive. Chris keeps having high profile relationships with hot young actresses with careers Goop would’ve killed for, while Goop emasculates him by saying he’s like her bro (aka her way of saying she cares not one whit who he fcks) but makes sure to remind his hot young actress love interests that she herself is still famous and he’s a daddy of young kids who has responsibilities (in the hopes they’ll eventually get tired of his being a Daddy who’s forever connected to Goop and even more tired of how much press she still gets for talking about their relationship and other dumb ish).
      It worked with J-Law, as she split.

      2) Goop’s hair: pretty sure Goop has used hair straighteners/relaxers for years, so that chemical process on top of her bleaching it dang near platinum= fried, dyed and laid to the side (or parted in the middle in her case).i saw a pic of her as a teen once, she had gorgeous thick medium ash brown very wavy coarse hair. Why she’d destroy that for the straw on her head now is a mystery inside an enigma.

      • CatFoodJunkie says:

        @letitgo – damn near platinum ? What the…?

      • Flk says:

        Agree with your first point. Great analysis. Like I said further down, that’s not gross, that was a classic GOOP burn.

        I wouldn’t put his split with JLaw on GOOP though, I doubt it was supposed to last. JLaw is not out there hunting for a life partner, she’s having fun. There were blinds about her nickname for him relating to his d@ck, you don’t say stuff like that about someone you’re serious about. Then again, maybe if you’re JLaw you do…

  2. HH says:

    That’s a weird statement. Why couldn’t she have just gone with the good friends angle?

    I’ve always had a view of her as desperate. I think it’s because I remember when she was trying to emulate Carolyn Bessette’s look (beauty + fashion) and Goop missed the mark. Goop has all the trappings of an it girl, but without “it.”

    • MostlyMegan says:

      Right – she could have just said we are still family, and still friends – the family part remains. Something like that. The fact that he feels like her brother is sort of insulting. Maybe she is isn’t a fan of Dakota and is trying to give him a little dig.

    • crazydaisy says:

      I think it is code for “the sex s*cked”…

      • SK says:

        That’s exactly what it is.

      • Whatever says:

        This. And considering the rumors that they both stepped out in the marriage, I believe it. I think they love each other but lost their sexual attraction to each other after they had their kids.

    • Tourmaline says:

      She’s used this brother line before and it always strikes me as weird.
      Like she’s trying to neuter Chris in some way.
      Why not just say we are good friends and parent our kids together…….like everybody else says in that situation.
      She bugs. Sorry not sorry!

    • Dolkite says:

      I’ll never forget that one stylist described Bessette’s hair as “big buttery chunks.”

  3. Lila says:

    Wow, first uncoupling and now your ex can be like a sibling, Goop is going to throw divorce attorneys into a into a tizzy.

  4. Flk says:

    > You don’t describe an ex-lover/husband as “like a brother.” It’s creepy

    I see nothing creepy about, it seems like a burn to me.

  5. Chell says:

    People may find this creepy, and that’s their own business, but this is literally how my divorced parents think about each other. Being “married/lovers” didn’t work for them, at all. They don’t feel sexual towards each other, that fell apart really early in the relationship.
    Then my dad’s parents both died long before my parents spilt up, so my maternal grandparents told him he still was their son in their minds after the divorce, because they were the only parents he had left. My dad was even at the hospital beds of both my mother’s parents when they died.
    So I, personally, don’t find it creepy at all. Good to know other people will though.

    • Millenial says:

      I don’t think it’s creepy. If that’s how they feel, good for them. Better than being at each other’s throats.

      And her hair looks like a lot of people’s hair here in the South, it’s just what happens when you put highlights in dark blonde/very light brown hair.

      • Carol says:

        I don’t find Paltrow siblings comment creepy nor a burn. So they arent romantically interested in each other but still love each other. I think brother/sister is perfectly okay way to define a divorced couple’s relationship. And I like her hair in the interview.

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      My brother is my good buddy, and an ex can turn into a good buddy too, so this doesn’t seem weird to me either.

      Once you’re not boinking, the fact you *used* to boink can become pretty irrelevant. And often has to become so, if you want to just be friends now.

      • Nancy says:

        Not for me. Once you’ve been with each other naked, that takes out any future brother/sister plans. Can’t erase that picture from your mind. Was her “brother” there when she gave birth? Goop is a freak!

    • aenflex says:

      Nor do I. I was with a guy for 11 years, and the time he moved out, which was long after the sexual/romantic part of our relationship died, we were like brother and sister. We met up with each other’s dates, talked gossip about who we were doing, helped each other out with money, dog-sitting, work stuff. We had close mutual friendships and interests. We cared about each other very much, and it was familial, given our closeness in age ‘brother and sister’ seemed an accurate descriptor. There was nothing sexual in the last 2-3 years yet somehow the care and closeness remained, despite us dating and eventually marrying other people.

  6. Nancy says:

    She is engaged and happy. Watch the transformation when her “brother” remarries. Psycho chick.

  7. Beth says:

    Brother? That’s kind of gross. I can’t say anything bad about her hair, because mines the same style, just a little darker and thinner

    • Nancy says:

      It’s dated and boring. Brassy and thin on the ends. Don’t think she’s ever had another style. What’s good at 25, doesn’t always work at 45. If this was anyone else, I probably wouldn’t notice, but we’re talking about goop here!

      • Rose says:

        She had the short hair in the 90s, it was so cute!

      • Nancy says:

        Rose: I remember seeing pics of her and Brad when they were dating and had matching hairdos. She looked much better. Someone mentioned long hair is still good for older woman, but I mostly disagree. The hair pulls the face down, which gravity is already doing, so makes you appear older, plus everyone gets a turn at youth. She would look better with it shorter like you said, or even shoulder length and not parted down the middle like a flower child… Probably extensions anyway…..

      • Olive says:

        i will never understand why some women on this site are so against “older” women (read: 35, kate middleton) with long hair. it’s so rude – you choose YOUR own hair style and hair rules YOU follow, so if you don’t like looking at “older” women with long hair, feel free to look elsewhere! don’t say their hair “should” be short. get out of here with these outdated ideas, it’s 2018 ffs.

    • crazydaisy says:

      I think she looks amazing, with that slamming body—yeah. Wearing a bit too much makeup here for my taste, and agree she could use a trim—a good inch off the ends—but her hairstyle suits her face very well. Gals, when you hit 45, you will understand it is not too old for long hair! Especially if you feel and look as vibrant as GP clearly does.

  8. MJC says:

    Of all the things she says, IMO that’s not offensive or creepy. Lots of divorced people use that term. Friend who uses it says it’s just that they get along great, they are treated part of family (and extended family), welcome to family gatherings, no sexual tension, you’re protective of them as you would be a sibling, etc.

    • Eva says:

      Yeah I don’t find it creepy. That’s how long term relationships sometimes end – the passion dies and you realize you’ve become more like brother and sister or roommates living under the same roof. It ends BECAUSE the other person starts feeling like a brother.

  9. broodytrudy says:

    I think her hair is just brassy and that’s throwing it off. Not like it looks great anyway, but I have the same fine blonde hair and it can look really stringy/greasy/fried despite being healthy. I keep mine shorter and blunt for that reason.

    Something not nice: wth is going on with her skin? The skin on her chest/arms looks weird and splotchy. Bad tan? Maybe that’s just how her skin is? I’m honestly asking.

    Something nice: I like that while she’s definitely had some boob work in the pasts she’s letting them be fairly naturalish. It’s refreshing to not see rock hard, perky boobs someone over 35. Especially someone with kids.

    • Flk says:

      She’s a freckly blonde in her 40s who enjoys sun and doesn’t seem to use sunscreen much. She has lots of sun damage.

  10. Merritt says:

    Ick. She could have gone with something like “Chris and I are friends now, we share kids and they come first.” But no she had to be weird about it.

  11. Erinn says:

    I kind of get what she’s saying. He’s moved from husband role to just a ‘family member’. Their divorce didn’t seem to be some kind of battle – it seemed like two people who realized they were no longer in romantic love and knew they had to make a change. They probably genuinely love each other – but in the kind of way that you love a family member and not a romantic partner. The probably still feel somewhat protective of each other and are still fond of the other as a person in the way that siblings are. You sometimes are annoyed by them, but you love them regardless.

    The only thing weird about it is that we automatically take the creepy context and process it as her saying “I feel like my ex who I used to boink is now like my brother” because that’s just how our brains work in the messed up world we live in.

    I really don’t think she meant it as an insult at all – and probably thinks it was more complimentary. They’re still a big, pretty happy family. But mom and dad just don’t feel that way for each other anymore.

  12. AngieB says:

    I love Clocks. The only way I could handle a failed marriage to the person who sings and plays piano on that song would be to convince myself he was only like a brother…..

  13. Kelly C says:

    I’m more concerned about the middle part she won’t let go.

  14. Slowsnow says:

    My goodness Colbert had a script, she is really chilling her life, that’s all she does. Engagement, conscious uncoupling, the sapphire, … and when it comes to the film Iron Man, she sounds completely over it. Man is she dull.

  15. homeslice says:

    For someone who always is banging on about health etc., she looks the exact opposite. It’s true women at some point choose their ass or face…

    • Suki says:

      How rude. The health benefits of having a slimmer body shouldn’t be ignored at the expense of having a ‘prettier face.’

      • homeslice says:

        Not at all. She smokes, she tans and it effects her face. She has a great body, but IMO a very unhealthy connection with being thin. She has talked about being depressed because she gained weight after a pregnancy. Her 3 hour daily work outs?? Yea, that’s not obsessive at all…

      • KBB says:

        It’s not about a pretty face, IMO, it’s about unhealthy looking skin. She just looks like someone who indulges in wine, cigarettes, and sun.

        Jennifer Garner is six months older than Gwyneth and she looks ten years younger. Jennifer looks like someone who lives a healthy lifestyle, Gwyneth just doesn’t.

  16. iris says:

    Between her, Jen Garner and Jen Meyer, it’s like a competition to prove how awesome their divorces are, how great their ex spouses are being and how much everyone loves each other and gets along. Kinda makes you wonder… well then, why get divorced in the first place?

    • Chell says:

      Because they make better friends than spouses…? That’s what it is like for my parents.

      • AngieB says:

        True if the husband can’t be faithful and that’s not working for the wife but they have kids together, ideally you’d stay friends and no longer care where his penis goes.

  17. Jayna says:

    I clicked on the video. Her hair doesn’t look fried here at all. It usually does, but as far as this appearance, her hair looks fine to me. But I really loved that jumpsuit on her. She looked great walking out in it.

    Stephen Colbert was adorable in the interview. I love him.

  18. Lala says:

    Ehh…same thing happened to me with my ex who I was with for 10 years…About 8 years in…it felt like I was having an intimate relationship with my brother…and that feeling STAYED! I’ve been with my current partner going on 20 years and it’s STILL hawt and heavy…so that can happen…but…MY GAWD…her…HAIR?!?! WHY DOES SOMEONE NOT TELL HER THAT IT’S AGING THE HELL OUT OF HER AND IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF HAWT?!?!

  19. tealily says:

    I actually think her hair looks healthier than it has lately.

    • Aurelia says:

      Yes her hair does look a little better than her usual donnatella versace yellow straw. Look at the roots, she is transitioning to highlighting now, as opossed to a block full saturation bleaching. Her hair is thinner thanusual. It’s peri menopause. Your her gets like thin doll hair. She needs to cut the length off at shoulder level. Like lose 14 inchs.

  20. KBB says:

    I had a friend who kept her hair really long because her husband preferred it long. It was like Gwyneth’s, long, highlighted, and straw-like. She finally chopped it off to just below her shoulders and it made such an incredible difference. It looks sleek and healthy for the first time in a long time. Regular haircuts are so crucial to keep healthy looking hair.

    • Erinn says:

      And protecting your hair if you’re using heat on it. My hair tends to look oily faster when I air-dry- I think because the cuticle is allowed to smooth out better, so I usually put off blow drying for as long as possibe – toss a decent product in and just blowdry a bit. My hairs been way healthier since I’ve cut down the blow drying to 2-3 times a week in winter, less in summer.

  21. Jeezelouisie says:

    Well, at least he’s not claiming to be in love with her actual brother and kissing him on the mouth on the red carpet. Now THAT’S creepy.

  22. Aubrey says:

    So, is Goop a catalogue and can I get it sent to my home?

  23. sunshine gold says:

    Her eyes – what has she done?!

  24. Shannon says:

    I hate her hair; sorry, I just do but if she’s okay with it whatever. I do get what she’s saying even if she’s saying it in a weird way. I met my ex-husband in high school, we have a child together, and yeah I would say at this point we have a familial relationship. We have a child in common, so even though romantic feels went away we still have a bond much like, well, family. To call him a brother might sound weird, but that’s really how I feel about him. I seriously barely remember the sex. So now that we have this ‘brother sister’ bond (I mean, I’ve been over to his parents’ home for thanksgiving since our divorce several times), sex now would be weird. I see what she’s saying.