Fresh off his whirlwind trip to observe the homosexuals at the Olympics, Mother’s Husband (VP Mike Pence) was back in Washington in time to spend Valentine’s Day with Mother (his wife). I have to admit, Valentine’s Day crept up on me as well, probably because I’m single and I was more focused on finally getting my flu shot this week. I guess Mother’s Husband didn’t know what day it was either, because he had to rush to CVS to find a Valentine’s Day gift for Mother.
Just spotted @VP exiting the CVS on 19th & Penn. Spectators say he purchased a Valentine’s Day gift for his wife. (don’t worry, I won’t spoil what the contents of the gift are @SecondLady)
— Jacqueline Alemany (@JaxAlemany) February 14, 2018
I was in Walgreens, not CVS, the day before V-Day (flu shot!) and I was impressed with their V-Day spread. I mean, you can get cards and candy and stuffed animals and any number of tchotchkes decorated with pink hearts. But is it tacky? I don’t think it’s tacky for a normal, regular, middle-class person to buy their spouse some V-Day gifts at CVS. Most people just want some chocolate and a card anyway. But for Mother? I don’t know. Everything about this was last-minute, like Mother’s Husband didn’t even spare a thought for poor Mother.
And that’s assuming that he did buy her a card and candy. He could have gotten her anything at CVS. My money is on a tube of Icy Hot, some green Tic Tacs, and some designer imposter perfume.
Photos courtesy of Getty.
I hate him and his Mother.
That is all.
he hates gay people for ONE reason.
two male escorts, one in Boca Raton and another in Cleveland, can attest to that.
Marly-cmon spill the deets!
Gross. He could’ve at least gone to Jared’s.
And taken whatever Jared got for Princess Nagini!
I know you meant the store but I couldn’t resist
But they don’t sell Wasabi Ginger nuts and that’s what Mother likes when she’s feeling randy.
Ha! I’m not sure people who aren’t from Indiana will understand the Jared reference, but I do!
Mother looks like she could use some moisturizer. And a diuretic.
Awww, don’t go making me feel badly for her. Maybe her face is just puffy normally. (The moisturizer, though, I agree with.)
being married to Pence is aging lol
At least he got her something.
MOTHER DESERVES BETTER, YOU MOTHERF*CKER. (Literally.)
Perfume is the devil’s urine. No perfume for Mother.
That first line is HILARIOUS and I guffawed.
I bet he flinched in pain when he passed the aisle with all the lube.
BAHAHahahaha
OMG this thread. Stop you’re making me laugh too hard!
damn it fanty your comment wins LOL
Awwww Mother didn’t give him an increase in his allowance to buy her real designer perfume. I guess they are saving that Russian/NRA/anti-abortion group bribe money for a rainy day (legal defense) fund. Sad.
I got my husband’s card and candy from CVS! And it just occurred to me, I totally forgot to give it to him! He came home sick yesterday so everything was sort of forgotten about, but now I feel bad. And stupid because I could have bought it for half-off today!
Oh, I do love going to CVS and Walgreens, scooping up all the goodies at half-price.
I hate to get personal but that’s such a smarmy smile on Pence’s face. I imagine the “Christian” right folk who love their guns and voted for Trump are now awaiting Pence as president. He at least is a conservative’s conservative unlike Trump who believes only in himself. Of course, this man with his syrupy grin could be even more dangerous than Trump because he is more capable of achieving his aims.
That guy is such a weirdo.
He bought his Dominatrix more black lipstick. He loves it when she dons her latex and spanks the gay out of him.
Yes! The visual made me lol
Reminds me of this: https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/valentines-day-commercial/n45814
Yes!!!!!! Same thought!
And thank you for getting a flu shot! I now love your writing that much more!
Honestly this is the most relatable “Jesus tells me what to do” Pence has ever been. PR?
Jesus told me to go to CVS!
from a lurker…This post, and all of your snarky comments, are the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time!! Keep it up!!!
I know, mother’s husband is just so hilarious!
I swear, Mike Pence looks like a legit, straight-up, sho-nuff FREAK
blowjobs are the best valentine’s day gift.
but Mother isn’t a guy, so….
Hey is it me or Mike Pence looks like an old Ken? This explains a lot..
OMG! I see that now!