For the love of God, Duchess Meghan did not ‘break protocol’ at the palace


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Don’t get me wrong, I actually 100% understand WHY the British papers are obsessed with nitpicking the Duchess of Sussex. Meghan is one of the best things to happen to the royal family in a long time, in a lot of different ways. Women’s fashion is always notable and “fashion photos” of duchesses always sell better than photos of dull princes looking grim in suits. Plus, Meghan is new and shiny and so different than Kate, who was already a largely known quantity by the time she married William. The British papers get to cover Meghan as a “fish out of water” on a lot of different levels, because she’s American, because she was a working woman before she married, because of her race and more.

So I’m just saying… I get it. Meghan sells. Positive stories about Meghan sell, and negative stories about Meghan sell even more. I get the obsession with analyzing her every move and treating new footage of Meghan like a new Zapruder film which must be analyzed to pieces. All that being said, it gets absolutely idiotic sometimes. I warned Meghan and everybody else about this sh-t too: before the wedding, I pointed out that Meghan is going to spend the rest of her life being judged on this arcane royal protocol bulls-t. It’s the worst.

Obviously, the British papers are still going over the few minutes of footage of Meghan and Harry at Buckingham Palace last week. First they claimed that Meghan broke the sacred protocol by… crossing her legs in a photo. Now they’re claiming that Meghan – that tawdry American!! – broke the sacred protocol by having her hand somewhat close to Harry’s hand for a split second. This one is a twofer: the Sun claims that not only did Meghan “break protocol” by trying to hold Harry’s hand IN THE SACRED NO-AFFECTION PALACE, but that Harry completely “rebuffed” her and now, obviously, Harry and Meghan’s marriage is in tatters and clearly they will divorce by the end of the year. The moment is in the first minute of this video, but you can skip ahead to the 30-second mark if you’re pressed for time.

I can’t believe I’m even engaging with this crap, but here’s my interpretation: for one brief moment, Meghan left her hand out and open… out of habit, because she’s so used to holding hands with Harry and having an affectionate relationship with him. She did it sort of mindlessly, and then she remembered where they were and she immediately gathered herself. This isn’t a break of protocol, nor did Harry shun her or whatever. As I said in the beginning of this post, I understand WHY these kinds of stories sell. But this was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever had to write.

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97 Responses to “For the love of God, Duchess Meghan did not ‘break protocol’ at the palace”

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  1. Jan90067 (aka imqrious2) says:

    Eh… she looked perfectly fine. There is no Royal “rule” about crossing legs. I’ve seen Anne and Sophie sitting with crossed legs; even Kate has. It’s just nitpicking. If you want to pick on something, get the men to stop “man spreading” in every photo. I find that far more offensive than a woman crossing her legs.

    • ELX says:

      There is a segment of the British press and public that will never accept her. My response to stories like this is: Yes, HRH is biracial and from America, get over it!

    • mamacita says:

      exactly. it’s a bunch of bs. they’re humans. can the press remember that. she’s human. we wonder why depression and suicide rates are up, it’s related to how people are hyper criticized these days on every level. nothing is good enough. and then there’s also the racist element. people are jerks. we all need to, on a daily basis, with meghan and with other strangers in our lives, give people the benefit of the doubt and remember they’re human.

    • Surly Gale says:

      Oh, yes, preach Jan! There is also a picture of Diana w/her legs crossed. The verbiage was about something else – she was on a stage w/boys and Charles. I not once have read aggressive reports about Diana’s leg positioning as pertaining to ‘royal protocol’.

    • Candyn says:

      The queen has also appeard in that position quite a few times since she was the princess and I jusw saw the photo of her majesty crossing her les while watching sport, princess Anne crossed her legs while taking royal photo with her baby and the queen was right next to her ,also princess Diana who then was still married to prince Charles and she was known as future queen consort,had crossed her legs in public many times.

  2. morrigan01 says:

    The microaggressions against Meghan by not only the British Tabloids but by some Royal Watchers have reached the stupidity level with quickness. Michelle Obama went though some of this same sh** too . . . for the same reason BTW (which I don’t have to spell out).

  3. loislane says:

    Yep I sensed she put her hand out in the open out of habit too.
    And it seemed like Harry wanted to hold it but refrain himself by clasping his hands.
    They are sweet and in love.
    Not suprise by the interest. Hope they just put this huge visibility and platform to good use.

    • Noddles says:

      Blink and you miss it. They’re making a whole lot of fuss about nothing. I wasn’t even sure if she was leaving her hand open for him or just walking but feeling a bit unsure of herself and I read body language for a living.

      The crossing her legs thing was a bit annoying. I thought nothing of it at first because I thought she had just been sitting for a while, watching the awards being given out and everyone (Royals included) cross their legs sometimes. However then I watched the video and realised they were just sitting there for a photo, in which case she probably should have thought a bit more about how she was sitting. You don’t sit down and cross your legs for your right royal photos… but still, it’s really not worth all the hate.

  4. Louise177 says:

    I saw the video and it’s actually hard to tell if Meghan was trying to hold Harry’s hand. His arm up as Meghan was bring hers down. It wasn’t as if she actually tried to grab his hand. The leg crossing baffles me the most because it was for 2 or 3 seconds but the media, including the American media, tried to make it a huge scandal.

    • Jaded says:

      I thought it simply looked like she was getting ready to stand up and readied her hand to support herself on the edge of her chair. Standing up from a seated position wearing spike heels can be a bit teetery at the best of times.

  5. lower-case deb says:

    don’t cross legs? duh….
    the Queen is known to do it too time and again!
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/WX8S_Y3ZiZM/hqdefault.jpg

  6. LizB says:

    SO DUMB.

    God, this is just ridiculous. And half the time, when people screech “It’s against protocol!!!” it ends up not being protocol at all. Tempest in a teacup.

  7. Skylark says:

    Yep, unforgiveable breach of protocol. Off to the tower with her.

    See Harry yapping away as Queenie was handing out the awards? Rude! Off to the tower with him too.

  8. Sam says:

    Yeah, god forbid newlyweds were to hold hands, that’s just too scandalous and risque /s. So, holding hands, crossing your legs, not wearing stockings, turning your back on the Queen is against protocol…I’m so glad I’m not royalty or married to royalty because I would never be able to put up with that nonsense.

  9. magnoliarose says:

    This pretend scandal takes petty to a new levels of nonsense. There is nothing there. You would think Harry pulled a Melania hand slap the way the harpies carry on.
    I think she sells papers so they are going to squeeze every single drop out of every public sighting.

    • MAF says:

      I was expecting to see something along those lines but nothing. Just two people getting up, adjusting themselves and walking. What I keep seeing is him explaining every second to her. I understand why but I would get annoyed after awhile. Let me watch and figure it out and if I have questions, I’ll ask.

  10. aquarius64 says:

    What gets me are these critics think because they binge watch The Crown they are experts in royal protocol. For her legs you would think Meghan sat with her legs wide open showing her lady parts.

  11. Che says:

    Why is Meghan the best thing to happen to the royal family? Girl is wearing thousand pound outfits to every occasion. She’s become exactly like the out of touch royal family. As for this breaking of protocol, who cares? She’s getting criticism for things that don’t matter when there are plenty of things she can be rightfully criticized for.

    • May says:

      Yes, I have seen headlines like “MM drove the royal expenses up by 40%” and “She already spent $1 MILLION” etc.
      I don’t think the general public cares about protocol, but articles like these will be sure to gain a lot of attention.

      • Pix says:

        I’d be surprised if she wasn’t spending her own money on clothes. Since she is still an American citizen she has to pay US taxes on her income and gifts including clothes and jewelry. She worked on Suits for years and gets royalty checks. So she does have her own money.

      • annabanana says:

        I’d be surprised if she is spending her own money, it seems she doesn’t wear really expensive clothes before just now, it’s a newly cquired hobby. If she has money to spend on clothes she’s wearing now, she would have been wearing them even before

      • JessicaT says:

        As an addition to the family, in general, spending will increase just like every other full time working royal who joined the firm. There’s a lot of baiting with these smdh

      • perplexed says:

        I’d one surprised if she spent her own money, because rich people don’t usually do that sort of thing. That’s how they stay rich.

      • formerly known as Amy says:

        May be It was Prince Louis who increased those expenses. I mean decorating a new room and all the extra nannies for him. Why are we blaming the black lady and not the white kid. Racism.
        LOL this is the most ridiculous dailymail shit.
        She’s been on the job for a month and i can see she’s going to get the minority treatment. I saw that million dollar article and ignored you know because dailymail aren’t the most reliable.

      • May says:

        @Formerly know as Amy: yes I know. But I saw variations of the same headline from marieclaire, cosmopolitan, Huffington post and many others.
        I didn’t open any of the links, so I am not sure if the title is just clickbait, but my point still stands. The general public won’t care about protocol and other fussy things, but money matters will make an impact.

      • Leyton says:

        The 1 million calculation is wrong.

        It includes her jewelry (Engagement ring and bracelet gifted to her by Charles, as well at the earrings given to her by the Queen). it also include her wedding dress and engagement dress as well as the dress from the engagement photos. Those are things NEVER usually added into calculations for the Royal Women’s wardrobe. Jewelry alone would push ALL OF THEM over the million dollar mark.

        A lot of the stuff they counted as new were repeaters as well from Meghan’s own personal closet.

    • annabanana says:

      Yeah, best thing that ever happened???? She hasn’t even proven anything yet! Just a bit too much

    • Mama says:

      All of the royals spend millions on clothes, not just Meghan! From Diana to Kate and even Eugenie and Beatrice. Meghan wasn’t exactly buying clothes from the supermarket before she joined royal life. Give it a rest.

      • MrsBump says:

        All of their expenses are also tallied up, so its only fair that hers are too.

      • anonymousss says:

        Eugenie and Beatrice aren’t taxpayer funded so that is a moot point to make. I’ve seen this type of criticism against them before and I actually like the York gals so I defend them. They do their charity work, Eugenie has a good job, and they go on holiday with their personal money. They have trust funds/inheritances – Andrew is yuck, but he pays for their security. Meghan’s expenses should be criticised because she is using taxpayer money for her new wardrobe, I don’t think it’s nitpicking. People criticise Camilla and Kate all the time, this is what Meghan signed up for.

  12. Enn says:

    I watched the video over the weekend and it’s a whole lot of nothing. Tabs digging for scraps and inventing scandals.

  13. Melania says:

    All this stories have a racist and classist undertone. If Meghan had been a white English woman there would not have been all these stories. This is the truth.

    • magnoliarose says:

      Of course, it is. Even down to the inflated value of her wardrobe. Royal Wedding dresses are overpriced and ridiculous to begin with but they like to pretend that only she has dared spend that much and then lump it in with her other clothes.
      It is silly but it gives the detractors something to gnash their teeth over.

    • perplexed says:

      There were a lot of stories about Diana’s spending , and she explained/retorted “The clothes are for the job.” I haven’t seen any articles about Meghan’s overall spending, but I don’t think it’s a new thing to discuss. I’ve seen the Queen’s spending g discussed, which is how I know she’s fanatical about turning off the lights. I’m prettying sure Fergie’s spending was discussed because she picked out quite ugly clothes. I’ve seen reports about Fergie’s spending NOW, and she’s not even royal anymore.

    • anonymousss says:

      Eh, Kate and the Middletons had a lot of crap thrown their way too. It was definitely classist.

    • Scram says:

      She’s the spare’s wife so she was always going to be picked apart and made to look lesser. It just happens that she ticks a lot of boxes for vile people so the press has the opportunity to go even lower. I wish her the best. Doubt I could handle it myself.

  14. Eliza says:

    Meghan has only broken one rule. As a “fish out of water” that is a good record. But it is not the car, not the crossed leg and not this. At Ascot she turned her back on the Queen. But come on, as an American that is not inherent and would need to be practiced, and will come in time.

  15. Barry Iris says:

    I would say it must suck to have to watch everything you do then I remember Meghan is living a sweet life in the fish bowl regardless.

  16. Belle Epoch says:

    I’m more interested in how much WORK an event like this is, and always will be, for her. Harry can walk into this room without a care. Meghan has to dress flawlessly and be briefed on – and remember – who these people are, what to say, what NOT to say when to curtsy, when NOT to curtsy, and on and on. Every day is like final exams. I cannot fathom why she did this to her life.

    • MrsBump says:

      It’s a small price to pay compared to all the advantages: she’ll never have to hustle for work again, never worry about rent, have access to the best possible health care, and her future children will be set for life.
      Most (non british aristo) women would give their right arm for this gig.

      • JessicaT says:

        @mrsbump does she really though? She earned 50k per episode on suits alone. She can afford all of those things AND still save money for her future children without being in the firm easily. Also, Meghan seems like the person that likes to work, so her working isn’t really bad thing.

      • anonymousss says:

        Mrsbump that’s not true. Wealthy women don’t need to marry into this family because they have their own money/family money and they’re already set for life. Marrying into this mess would be very silly because everything is scrutinised.

      • annabanana says:

        She wasn’t paid 50k since season 1 and from the 50k you have to take out management fees and taxes. Aside from suits and a couple of lifetime films she didn’t really have much going on. Have no idea how much she got paid by riteman (?) but I’m pretty sure it’s not in the millions

      • Masamf says:

        @Annabanana, it doesn’t matter at what point Meghan started getting paid 50k/episode. At the end of the day, that’s what she was being paid and it was enough for her to live comfortably off of. I know a RN that makes 90k an entire year, and they still live comfortably and can take a vacations whenever they want. This person has 2 kids too. Meghan on the other hand has no kids and in just 2 episodes was making more than what this RN makes in an entire year. So, no it’s not like she was destitute. She travelled to London regularly and Vacationed in other places regularly, before she met Harry, so she did have the cash. IMO, she married Harry not for the “perks” but because she is in love with the guy.

      • formerly known as Amy says:

        she had the tig which she made money from and a contract with rietmanns.

      • MrsBump says:

        Of course they love each other, that’s undeniable.
        But c’mon now, she was a secondary character in a tv series, not Grace Kelly. There’s a reason she was hustling so hard with her lifestyle blog, she’s smart and she knew the tv career wouldn’t last forever. It’s pretty hard for any actress past 30 to find work in hollywood. Meghan maybe in love but she’s not dumb, she wouldn’t have dropped her job and moved to the UK if Harry was an accountant. Neither would Kate have sat around doing nothing if William was an IT guy.
        Clearly the private lives they have sacrificed was worth the life of unimaginable luxury they are now living.

    • magnoliarose says:

      She did it because she loves him. These two are in love with each other. They both took a lot of risks to be together and decided they were willing to live with the negatives.
      Deep love does not come around very often and it is a gift worth fighting for if the two people are in it together. You can’t replace that feeling with someone else. It took me some time to realize that. Just because the intense love is there it doesn’t mean it is going to be smooth sailing or easy.
      Both of them have been in serious relationships before so they know the difference between in love with someone and being deeply passionately in love to the point that you want to spend a lifetime with them. They know the difference. It eclipses every relationship that came before.

  17. JessicaT says:

    I interpreted it as a sweet moment of the two wanting to hold hands but remembered what setting they were in which was cute. I thought Harry tried really hard not to hold her hand because he seemed like he wanted to, and so did Meghan. Also, this is Harry we are talking about. How many protocols has he broken? He literally said “ass” on an interview which to me shows how much of a bullshit these protocols are to him to begin with and just does them out of respect. So the fact that the media is making it seem like Harry is suddenly someone who prioritise it over his affections to his wife is just illogical. Wasn’t he being portrayed as the bad boy prince? Now suddenly hes being portrayed as someone who cares so much about royal rules? The media needs to get it’s shit together.

    • harla says:

      I agree 100% JessicaT. I noticed in the back to the Queen photos that Harry had his back to the Queen as well but no one said a word about that?! I think for this couple it’s very natural for them to unconsciously reach for each other and then have to consciously remind themselves that they can’t, at least not here. It’s rather sweet and not unlike CP Victoria and Prince Daniel, the Cuddly Swedes!

  18. Inas says:

    My question does her back hurts when she sits like that holding her clutch on the side? It seems so weird. Also I don’t like harry explain to her in the public what’s happening.as if she a young woman . He could have done that at home or on with old video. She is full woman Harry.

    • harla says:

      She only sat like that for about 3 seconds, while the photo was being taken, so I’m guessing it didn’t bother her back.

    • Masamf says:

      Does it really matter? I meam, who exactly needs to know all this? It’s her back, if it hurts, it’s still her back, her pain, her pig, her farm, her problem, who cares to know? And if Harry is explaining to her, who cares? It’s his wife, her husband, their lives, they can do whatever they want with their lives, it’s their pig, their farm, their problem, like who cares to know?

  19. minx says:

    I like her outfit better in motion, still don’t care for the extra fabric hanging off the one side.

  20. Maria says:

    I wouldn’t last five minutes in that family.

  21. Artygirl says:

    I am neutral with her but the only thing I can criticize her for is her sudden “British” accent..kind of pretentious, if I may say..

    • anonymousss says:

      I haven’t heard that so far… If she does start talking in a full-on British accent, there will be major side eyeing for sure lol.

    • JessicaT says:

      @artygirl what British accent? I haven’t watched a video of her so pls inform me on this. Also, I hope people won’t be too harsher on her when she does adopt a new sound to her American accent because she does live there just like Autumn Phillips whose Canadian accent naturally adopted a bit of a British tinge to her accent.

      • anonymousss says:

        Meghan has only been here for a very short time though. A change in your accent takes quite a few years. She didn’t switch to a Canadian accent and she lived there for a long time. Meghan has American girlfriends married to British men and they still have their same accent even though they’ve been living here for a few years. So, yes, it will come across as pretentious if she develops a sudden English tone to her accent. Kate started speaking in an upper-class accent which is still funny to me because she sounds posher than Harry haha.

      • PrincessK says:

        Her accent will naturally change a bit over the years.

  22. Nina says:

    This is almost en par in ridiculousness with the Daily Fail article that was criticizing Kate’s feet for not being done (which they were, clean and pedicured).

  23. Grant says:

    The whole concept of “royal protocol” is so stupid and silly to me. Here’s a newsflash for the general public: the royal family eats, sleeps, and sh!ts just like the rest of us. I’ll never truly comprehend the fascination with what is–IMO–a hopelessly outdated and out-of-touch institution.

  24. perplexed says:

    She’s a former actress. She would have heard terrible things when she was an up-and-comer since no actress ever has good things to tell. Because of that training, I think she would likely be able to withstand strange critiques. So when people ask why she would sign up for this, I find the question a little odd. If she had been an administrative assistant, I can understand why this question would be asked. But actresses have picked fields where agents tear them apart for their looks and everything else they do that fails to meet the boxes they’ve ticked off. Then, of course, there’s her weird family that calls her mom “the maid.” What she’s going through now might be small potatoes compared to what she’s gone through with her own family.

    I think people are projecting their own experiences on to her a little too much. She’s grown accustomed to harsh environments, either through her own family or in her chosen career, so the royal life might actually be comparatively easier for her. I’d probably want to marry Harry too and take up new citizenship just to get away from her wacko sister too. Of course, I take this all back in a decade if her marriage falls apart. But for now, I think her experiences have probably shaped her to withstand the scrutiny of The Firm.

    To be honest, I actually think her own family has been far crueller to her than the media has been. A whole ocean now separates her from her family and her sell-out best friends, and I’m sure I’d jump at the chance to find an out to get away from all of those people. Talking to Charles about houseplants is probably a welcome respite for her.

  25. ladida says:

    I watched the video, she wasn’t trying to hold his hand at all. That said, I personally feel that they are overly affectionate at their public events. PDA isn’t appropriate at royal events, and that goes for most work places.

  26. Feeshalori says:

    Oh, for crying out loud, it’s barely noticeable if that was even her intent.

  27. OneLumpOrTwo says:

    I must be blind because I didn’t see her hand touch Harry’s or his pull away. Regardless, it’s just a force of habit and nothing is wrong with it. I doubt she’s all that concerned about it anyway, she doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who puts a lot of stock in that kind of silliness.

  28. TexOka says:

    No, she fixed her skirt. I like her a lot and yes, she will have to deal with the Brits picking her apart for a long time to come. The one thing I do think she needs to work on is the constant hair touching and the weird puppy dog eyes face. She doesn’t need to do that. Her normal expression is earnest and genuine without it.

  29. Redgrl says:

    I watched it 3 times and I just didn’t see it. But I will say she looked stressed and nervous at the end of the video, which i felt badly for her…

  30. jen says:

    just smoothing her hem! she never reaches for him… stupid stupid stupid

  31. Ally says:

    Hey, remember the time Prince Charles wanted to be his mistress’s tampon? Or the time his great-uncle encouraged the Nazis to keep bombing England? Yeah, those were breaches of protocol.

    The media cycle about this made me seethe. What utter nonsense in his day and age, and after all the shizz those born to that throne have engaged in.

    • liriel says:

      Yup, even Harry was forgiven for his Nazi costume and it’s not brough up anymore. In the meantime whenever a female does something wrong, possibly very minor offence let it be Kate or Meghan, it’s constantly brough up. Even I complained more about Kate’s hemlines or hair than Harry’s offensive atticks. *I’m part of the problem too :/*

  32. Reece says:

    I don’t see it. I see someone who didn’t straighten her arm right away so now there’s a S**t Ton of projection and interpretation going on.

    But hey now I know that the next time I’m at BP to keep my arms razor straight and to the side otherwise people may interpret it as me trying to touch someone.

  33. paddingtonjr says:

    So like every BRF bride, Meghan is a saint or a sinner, depending on the hour. Really, everyone who’s “pearl clutching” and poring over her every action and gesture needs to pace themselves. We’re barely 6 weeks into this marriage; we’ve (hopefully) got many years of H&M successes and failures. Of course, everything Meghan does won’t be flawless and, yes, she and Kate will do things a bit differently from each other because they are different in pretty much every way. And of course we should comment on H&M and W&K because that ensures continued interest in the BRF (and complaining about the BRF seems to be the UK national pastime ;) ). Let’s just play a long-game so we don’t repeat the same accusations over and over (*cough* breach of protocol *cough*).

  34. Aerohead21 says:

    I didn’t even see that much. To me it looked like when she let her arm down it sort of flopped a little, like, a slight swing in it. It didn’t look deliberate at all in my opinion. And it also looked coincidental that Harry pulled his hands up. I don’t think either of them were thinking hand holding oops!