Lindsay Lohan’s teaser for MTV reality show ‘Lohan Beach Club’ drops

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I’ve seen some comments about how, in 2018, we should be nicer to Lindsay Lohan. I’m not really feeling that. She spent the better part of a decade being a violent, cracked-out mess. She was given dozens of “chances” and opportunities to clean herself up and stop committing crimes. She did not. All she did was move overseas. I’m convinced that the only difference between “Lohan circa 2010” and “Lohan 2018” is the location. Lindsay currently lives in Greece, Dubai, or “an undisclosed location.” As we learned from a recent New York Times profile, Lindsay somehow talked her way into another reality show. Oprah could have told MTV not to bother, but I guess MTV is currently in the “hot mess” business, so they’re doing a “Vanderpump Rules”-esque show about Lohan Beach Club, which is Lindsay’s branded nightclub in Mykonos. Here’s the teaser ad for the series:

Good lord this is going to be a mess. Apparently, they’re filming now and the series will air next year. From People Magazine:

According to the network, the docuseries will follow the Mean Girls star as she works to expand her business empire with the launch of Lohan Beach House. The exclusive seaside destination will serve as a backdrop for the series, complete with a restaurant and a transformative day and nightclub. (The debut of Lohan Beach House marks Lohan’s third business venture in the Greek Islands, following the opening of Lohan Nightclub in Athens, Greece, and Lohan Beach House Rhodes in Rhodes, Greece.)

Lohan will lead a team of handpicked brand ambassadors, who must prove their expertise, ambition and charm over the course of the season.

“Lohan Beach Club (WT) offers viewers VIP access to one of the most exclusive destinations in the world, and a behind the scenes look at how a young, successful entrepreneur runs her empire,” said Nina Diaz, president of programming and development for MTV. “We are thrilled to have such a passionate and creative partner in Lindsay to help explore this intriguing culture, all through the eyes of her brand.”

[From People]

Honestly, I can’t. I have PTSD from covering Lindsay Lohan for years. MTV is going to have PTSD after they go through the footage they shoot of Lindsay acting like a mess too. This will end in disaster, which is probably “good” from a reality-show standpoint, but also… stop putting cameras on Lindsay Lohan. We are living in a world where Lindsay gets to choose “brand ambassadors” for her shady beach club venture.

Lindsay Lohan rocks a beige dress on the beach in Mykonos

Photos courtesy of MTV and Backgrid.

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66 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan’s teaser for MTV reality show ‘Lohan Beach Club’ drops”

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  1. Joss RED says:

    To quote Whitney: “Crack is wack”.

  2. Sherry says:

    She looks so old to be so young. I always wished she would be able to pull herself together and get back to the Lindsey Lohan we knew before all the crazy started, but coming from the family she does, crazy is probably all she knows. She was so pretty and so talented. What a waste.

    • Stumpycorgi says:

      I know this is mean, but… those few seconds when she’s walking around in a black and white striped shirt, with an evil clown expression, took me right back to being terrified by Beetlejuice when I was really little! 😱 I still haven’t seen that movie as an adult 🤣

    • whatWHAT? says:

      eh, she was very pretty, and I’d say marginally talented. I know that’s a common comment…about what a waste of talent yadda yadda…but she was not THAT talented. she OVER acted in a lot of scenes, IMO. she was ok in Mean Girls, but she had a great supporting cast. other than that…eh. I watched part of Freaky Friday with JLC and, again…over acted. I remember seeing her on SNL and thinking “she’s both over-acting and extremely “stiff” at the same time”.

      • Harper says:

        She definitely got more and more that way as time wore on. I still think her debut role in “The Parent Trap” was one of the most “natural” performances I’ve seen by a child.

  3. Neelyo says:

    What’s amazing to me about Lohan, is despite how many opportunities and chances she’s received, she still seems so ungrateful and entitled. She has no idea how lucky she’s been.

    and man she looks rough!

    • Carol says:

      Really? I’ve seen in a couple interviews with her recently (well in the last few months) and she seemed to have calmed down. I didnt see the cracked out lohan we are so accustomed to seeing.

      • jwoolman says:

        Carol – that’s encouraging to hear. I still doubt she has any business sense, but maybe all that is just hype and the real business is being run by people who know what they are doing and will keep her from trying to make real decisions.

        I’m just amazed she is still alive. Maybe she has slowed down considerably on the drugs and alcohol. She does seem to look a lot better in pictures now.

    • Leigh-Klein says:

      And that’s with lots of procedures and tweaks, too. And please, woman, put on a bra!!

  4. stacey says:

    She ruined her face the same way Kim Kardashian did.

    Fillers in young faces are awful

  5. Cee says:

    I just got back from Mykonos and her Lohan club was promoted everywhere, especially at the airport.

    • Bridget says:

      That’s where all the best establishments advertise.

      • Cee says:

        Yes, but you could also see it elsewhere, practically everywhere, and I’m not a club person. I happened to stay near Jackie O and would pop over there for the music (very gay-friendly place with awesome music and people)

    • Nancy says:

      I’m so jealous, So beautiful there. If I weren’t in my current situation, I’d go right now! But, since I can’t, going to make Pastitsio tonight!!

      • The Original G says:

        Best eating in the world! Greece.

      • Nancy says:

        Isn’t it wonderful? I had to make a store run and buy a few things to make the above mentioned Pastitsio. Damn cravings. If it weren’t for this thread, I’d be eating chicken or something, but now I’ll be eating Greek for the next three months. Pregnancy is delightful!! Baklava anyone?!

      • Cee says:

        I binged on Moussaka. I wish I could go back to Mykonos…

      • Nancy says:

        I’m not a big eggplant lover, but I’m sure it tasted wonderful made fresh while you were there. Idk if you cook, but give it a try sometime. Have Mykonos at home party before summer ends! I’m sitting on my deck with my little one and that’s how it feels kind of….I live by the lake so it’s nice……………till winter when the water freezes! Lucky you to have gone, put those pennies in a jar and go again!

      • Cee says:

        I don’t like eggplant but loved this! Hopefully I will find a way to recreate it at home.
        Sadly I’m back in winter, as I live in the southern hemisphere. Went from 34C to 10C in a day *sighs* I will definitely return to Mykonos!

      • Nancy says:

        HmmHmm………..yum! Truly with all the cheese and meat and sauces, who tastes the eggplant! I use lamb, but I believe most Americans use ground beef. Thanks to you, I will be making some Greek dishes since this is my craving now…being pregnant! I’m glad I chatted with u, and hope you get back to Mykonos. I loved being in Greece and hope to go again one day. Put your warm sweater on and sit by the fireplace. I hate thinking about that, summer is so short! When I’m in winter, you will be warm again! Ciao….

  6. tealily says:

    She looks like a mess in a 17 second teaser doing nothing and saying little, presumably carefully edited. What the hell is this show going to be?

  7. Pete says:

    What was so scandalous about those 17 seconds? Jesus you made it sound like someone got stabbed with a vodka bottle.

  8. MellyMel says:

    She’s only a year older than me and I just can’t get over how old she looks now. She used to be so pretty. Don’t do drugs kids…

  9. Case says:

    She was so talented and beautiful. It’s a shame, but as Kaiser said, she DID have every opportunity to get her act together. People were rooting for her to get her career back on track, too. My heart goes out to people who suffer from addiction, but this is more an issue of her generally bratty, disrespectful, entitled behavior that she has never outgrown. This show is gonna be a mess.

  10. Nancy says:

    Why is she in Greece when I’m not. One of my favorite places on Earth. So, I saw pics of Lindsay and 45’s forgotten love child Tiffany posted in same location, very special guest star. Lindsay looks like she could be her mother. Hard living catches up to you.

  11. Bridget says:

    I genuinely could not imagine watching her for 20-30 minutes at a time. Yikes.

  12. WendyNerd says:

    There is so much sun in Mykonos… Why does she look so PALE?! How does she look like she’s been pickled in something? Yeah, if you want proof that she’s not sober: right there. Her FACE. *Mr. Plinkett voice* “What’s wrong with your faaaaaace?!”

    Also, real sensitive of MTV to release this when the country is ON FIRE. Great PR there, guys. Good job! I’m proud of you!/s

    • tealily says:

      I seriously hope she’s slathering up on sunscreen and staying in the shade with her complection. (Fellow pale, freckled person here.)

    • A says:

      Because she has extremely fair skin and red hair/freckles to boot? Therefore she (1) would not be able to tan, but would just burn and (2) should not be trying to get colour and should wear sunscreen and stay in the shade. For all the things to pick on about her, not having a tan really isn’t it one of them.

    • Cee says:

      I just got back from Mykonos yesterday night and I’m still pale AF. Maybe she’s now using SPF and protecting her skin?

      • Nancy says:

        Hi Cee: Me again. Think about Santorini as well. The beaches aren’t as beautiful as Mykonos, but it is mystical, the skies are breathtaking. Crete too!!

      • Cee says:

        My family is in Santorini right now, I couldn’t stay longer due to winter break at Uni being over (why did I go back to get a Masters?!) Santorini would have been perfect for me as I am not a party person LOL and hardly took any advantage of being at “the party island”! Greece is definitely somewhere to return to. I want to sail through the islands.

      • Nancy says:

        Glad you’re getting your Masters. You will be glad you did in the future. But, do go back…..we should all do the things we can do while we’re still young enough to enjoy. Also, people tend to set aside plans and then never get to them. Wish I could go introduce myself to your family! As I said Santorini is stunning, for lack of a better word. Peace out doll!

    • A says:

      So because she used to spray tan when that was popular she needs to do it now? How about we just accept that people have different skin tones and that there isn’t anything wrong with fair skin, and we shouldn’t be insulting people by calling them “pale”? Not everyone tans and the sun ages skin and can cause cancer.

      I’m not a Lohan fan by any stretch, but she should clearly be avoiding the sun, and shouldn’t have to work on the upkeep of constant spray tans so that her skin colour isn’t mocked.

  13. Faithmobile says:

    “Cocaine is a hell of a drug”

  14. Gobo says:

    I really wish she would stop trying to wear red lipstick. It fights with her natural coloring and does her no favors.

    • enya says:

      Agreed!

    • Dee Kay says:

      She has sadly never understood or appreciated her natural coloring. She was born with the most beautiful red hair, a shade of red that sooooo many people try to buy in a bottle. And she ruined it by going blonde for years, and looking at these photos, I’m certain she’s dying it — that’s not her real red. And then her pale freckled complexion, ai yi yi, she has never known how to dress or do makeup for how she really looks. It’s like she thinks she’s either a peach-skinned blonde or an olive-skinned brunette. Ugh.

    • minx says:

      The red lipstick is horrible.

    • raincoaster says:

      This is so bad, and the lipstick is so dreadful. I don’t think MTV has put much into this or they’d have somebody do her makeup, and wouldn’t have run that video of her in the black shirt, where she looks like she just stabbed someone with a broken beer bottle and is trying to casually sneak away.

  15. Happy21 says:

    If y’all could see my face right now as I watch this…eeeeekkkk. This is a mess. I’m so over her. She’s been ‘ruined’ much longer than she ever was a thing. Let her gooooooo.

  16. Veronica S. says:

    God, her life seems like such a waste.

  17. Ams says:

    This is the kind of shit show that my boyfriend loves and will become another reason we can’t get rid of cable 😩 ugh

    • Nancy says:

      Get him an Amazon fire stick and he will forget about the cable crap. Better investment!

      • Dee Kay says:

        @Nancy what do you like about the Amazon fire stick? Real question. Don’t have one and am curious.

      • Nancy says:

        We got a fully loaded fire stick. You can virtually get everything out there, movies that are still at the theatre. It truly is amazing. The only negative some of my friends have mentioned is they don’t get their local news. This is not a problem for me. You still get all network news channels. It’s under a hundred dollars and worth every cent. I had Hulu before, and this is so much better.

  18. RBC says:

    How long before Dina Lohan makes an appearance? I want to know where Lindsay is finding money/ or investors for these businesses? She seems to live the jet set life

    • Nancy says:

      Or her father? Michael Lohan just made a 911 domestic violence call against Kate Major again just a few days ago. What timing….

  19. Anilehcim says:

    This really just feels like enabling bad behavior and exploiting someone who has been a serious mess for a long time now. This woman has serious issues and I don’t think she’s healthy in any way, which is why MTV probably thinks she’ll be reality TV gold.

    Aside from the fact that I’ll never stop missing music videos, I stopped watching MTV because they exploit people way too much for my liking on the regular. I used to watch Teen Mom as a guilty pleasure (ugh, I know… don’t judge me!) and I had to give it up after they filmed yet another one of their cast members high on heroin, and I just recently saw that they filmed a cast member in a road rage incident with her son in the passenger seat and she hasn’t been fired.

    Fuck MTV and their exploitative bullshit.

    • minx says:

      I can see where she might get a few viewers in the beginning. I just don’t think she’s all that relevant anymore, her time is past, sadly.

  20. Cee says:

    Edit: wrong place

  21. Olive says:

    Her brother (formerly known as Cody, now) Dakota is a model now. he looks like a ginger version of Ali. do you think Dina sent him to South Korea too?

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BlbwzKWAPpV/?hl=en&taken-by=dakotalohan

  22. TW says:

    Empire? Nope. She’s an escort who sold branding rights to a nightclub owner.

  23. Kat says:

    Don’t get how she owns a beach house and a nightclub, with what money? And I thought she had serious debt?

  24. Reese says:

    Let’s stop using mental illnesses as figures of speech. PTSD is not an adjective, it is somebody’s diagnosis. If you find other words offensive, such as the R word, why is this any less offensive? Imagine you kept hearing people use your diagnosis that you have to deal with everyday as an adjective. In 2018 we need to better, it’s careless to use mental illness diagnosis as adjectives in writing or speaking. That’s so OCD, I’m seriously going to get PTDS from such and such. Do better!!

  25. RedWeatherTiger says:

    That promo looks cheap and tacky, like its “star.”

  26. Bread and Circuses says:

    Prediction:

    One of the “ambassadors” will become the most popular person on the show because Lindsay is phoning it in or barely showing up to work enough to get any screen time.

    Then Lindsay will go batshit on that person in an eruption of jealousy and entitlement.

    And then the show will end because MTV is tired of Lindsay.

    Possibly the ambassador will get a spin-off.

  27. Spacy Lacy says:

    Teaser? What did we see?