People: Duchess Meghan is ‘struggling to find her footing’ in the royal family

Royal family Christmas Lunch

Something that’s happened over the past year: whenever anyone compares the Duchess of Cambridge and the Duchess of Sussex, the Keen Defenders always say something about how Kate is “the future queen,” like that’s the end of the argument. I’ve also noticed that the Keen Defenders HATE the comparisons… unless Future Queen Kate comes out favorably. Anyway, People Magazine’s cover story this week is all about Meghan and Kate and whether they’re really at war with each other. “Future Queen Kate” makes an appearance in this piece, so take it as you will. Some highlights:

Meghan & Kate are modern women who are changing the monarchy: Since Meghan officially joined the royal family with her May wedding to Harry, there has been a shake up in its synergy. But many believe the shift was bound to happen. “Wives do change the dynamic, and they both have very strong wives,” a palace insider tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “If you bring two independent-minded women from the real world into the royal world, they are going to want to have an impact.” And if that means ruffling some feathers among the palace establishment? “Some feathers need to be ruffled.”

The Sussexes moving away from Kensington Palace: “[The move] will be the best thing for all of them,” says a family friend. “Like Meghan and Kate, Harry and William have totally different roles. But the brothers will always come together because they are Diana’s sons.”

Meghan is still trying to find her footing: The Duchess of Sussex is still struggling to find her footing as a member of the royal family, several sources tell PEOPLE. “The most difficult job in the royal family is to work with Meghan’s ambitions and make them realizable,” says another insider.

But Kate has established her position:
Meanwhile, Kate has established her place as a future queen and doting mother. “They are very different characters,” says the family friend.

Meg & Kate are both strong: However, both Meghan, 37, and Kate, 36, are exceedingly capable of owning the spotlight. “An ordinary woman is not going to get to become a princess,” says the palace insider. “There is a necessary strength of character and ambition and single-mindedness. It takes someone really strong. That is Kate and Meghan.”

[From People]

Whatever, this reads to me like Cambridge propaganda, in that Kate’s “new image” is that she was ALWAYS this capable, amazing, strong and Future Queen Realness. Before Meghan came around, Kate’s image was “shy” and “introverted” and “she just wants to be a middle-class mother and wife and she doesn’t want attention.” The shifting goalposts of Kate’s image have always been fascinating to me, and this new Strong, Confident, Capable Kate image seems to have been developed directly as an answer to Meghan’s entrance onto the scene. Now, all that being said, the story here isn’t *just* about Kate and Meghan – the root of this sister-in-law drama has always been Harry and William’s struggling brother-bond.

Tennis: British princesses at Wimbledon

Britain's Prince Harry, his wife Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge arrive at Westminster Abbey for a service to mark the centenary of the Royal Air Force

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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67 Responses to “People: Duchess Meghan is ‘struggling to find her footing’ in the royal family”

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  1. Erinn says:

    Well I mean – who wouldn’t be struggling to join the Royal Family in your mid 30’s after living your life the way you wanted for the most part.

    There are a LOT of traditions, rules, and family member to just keep in mind, let alone do the day to day stuff. I think the only way someone would mesh super easily into the family is if it was a marriage to a very minor royal, or if they came from a royal family of their own.

    • Meowuirose says:

      She isnt struggling to find her footing. There is an active campaign to create shakey, uneven ground for her. Big difference.

      • Elisabeth says:

        +1000

      • Joro says:

        Exactly. Meghan didn’t get to the place she’s at without being a skilled student and quick learner. I’m sure she’s taking notes about everything and treading smartly.

      • Alexandria says:

        Agreed with Meowuirose.

      • R says:

        @Joro what place did Megan get to? She married a man with a title, fame and money. Is it the 1800 and we base a woman’s accomplishment on if she “married well.

        Let us be real neither Kate nor Megan did anything special to have these “roles” they married to people who were born into a specific family. No one in this family is spectacularly accomplished. I mean I love the Queen but she isn’t sovereign because she worked hard, learned policy implemented change etc etc. She isn’t Kamala Harris for heaven’s sake she was born into a family.

        Literally what have any of these people done that is spectacular? I mean even Megan’s acting career while impressive to get a series she wasn’t Meryl Streep.

        Please note this is not a bash, I like the royal family I just can’t take the over inflating of these people being so accomplished, Kate and Megan married into a family that frankly did nothing special to get where they are.

      • Erinn says:

        I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive, though.

        I think MOST people don’t instantly mesh in perfectly with their in-laws. It happens, but it’s not an immediate thing for most people. And she’s definitely living a very different life now than she did before. People adapt, but I think even for the quickest of studies the amount of difference between her life before and life now is still something that would take a bit of time to adjust to. That’s not a dig at all – it’s just crazy to think that there wouldn’t be SOME adjustment phase where she might feel slightly out of sorts. I’m not saying her life is in shambles and that she’s barely hanging on. But I think it’s naive to assume that she’s some superhuman when it comes to a shift in lifestyle like she’s facing.

        That doesn’t invalidate that she’s dealing with a smear campaign, and it doesn’t mean she’s not going to work hard in her role. I just think it’s silly to assume that she wouldn’t have at least somewhat of a “oh god what have I gotten myself into” kind of moment in the last year.

      • Ahoyoy says:

        This.

      • Natalie S says:

        @Huh. I didn’t realize liking Meghan and wanting her to do well equaled worshipping her.

        There are people who resent Meghan having fans. Are they as upset about Kate having fans?

      • FredsMother says:

        Thank you! Thank you for pointing out the obvious. Meghan is not struggling. There is a smear campaign aimed at creating a picture of an abrasive and insensible black woman who does not know how to “royal” and people are buying it. She had a fabulous wedding, did a brilliant job touring down under, and launched a well-received cookbook plus a dozen other initiatives under cover. She has not put a foot wrong. I have yet to see her flash her underwear. And now she is pregnant and working just as any other working woman. The Duchess of Sussex is not struggling.

        The Royal family on the other hand is struggling to adjust/align/configure.. Because people love her more than that bald-headed idiot-in-line to the thrown. Especially in the Commonwealth countries that are on the fence about becoming Republic. So the royals are struggling and have decided to smear the Duchess until they can come up with a better game plan.

      • Name of the game says:

        Meghan has had few accomplisments (acting, that one speech for women) but hardly any which prepared her for being BRIT and ROYAL e.g. diplomatic and supporting or shining the light on positive developments and no annoying other royals nor politics nor society.
        Now she is ruffling feathers and over-expanding the size of her deeds so far. Building a community kitchen does hardly benefit the survivors of the Greenfell Tower fire because under British law they all have the right to be housed in accomodations with kitchens. that community kitchen is simply not needed on a basic level. It might be a nice place for socialising but it ain’t needed. The fire was caused by non-fireproof cladding. The rules and laws need to be changed in order to prevent another such fire. There needs to be an initiative which pushes to make buildings safer and they could do with some royal support.
        Neither Meghan nor British politics do anything about the respective building regulations. They simply don’t address the root of the problem.

      • Sss says:

        Meghan didn’t build a community kitchen. The kitchen at the mosque was already in place, open 7 days a week, serving food to the survivors and the homeless. The cookbooks funds simply helped refurbish a fully fitted kitchen which didn’t need refurbishing. It was a nice gesture, and it has helped the ladies which is the important thing. Don’t @ me, I have lived in Ladbroke Grove for years. I do give her credit for being the only visible Royal actually doing something for Grenfell, even though there was a sorta PR vibe about it, which was off-putting to me in the beginning.

      • Bubble bee says:

        That’s how I feel about it too. It’s hard to find footing when people are actively denying you space to stand your ground.

      • Esmerelda says:

        @R

        I so totally agree with you! They’re basically Melania Trump in terms of personal accomplishment, they just picked better targets. This idea that they’re actually doing something more than smiling and waving and wearing clothes in public is ludicrous, and it’s only been brought about by the fawning press. Even this fake catfight thingy reinforces the narrative that they’re somehow supposed to be doing something significant…

  2. hezzer19 says:

    “But the brothers will always come together because they are Diana’s sons.”

    So…other women’s sons don’t…you know what, never mind. That’s just too stupid to respond to.

    “An ordinary woman is not going to get to become a princess,” says the palace insider. “There is a necessary strength of character and ambition and single-mindedness. It takes someone really strong.”

    The hell? Or it takes, you know, being born into a Royal family. What a very ridiculous thing to say! And they’re not princesses. They’re duchesses.

    I’m so very tired of the media pitting women against each other. We all lose when we do that.

    • Mereley says:

      They technically are Princesses of the Realm – Princess William of Wales and Princess Henry of Wales, respectively. If their husbands hadn’t been granted dukedoms, those are the titles they’d go by.

      And I couldn’t agree more – I too am tired of the media putting women against each other.

      • OriginalLala says:

        I agree with what you’ve both said, but I am mostly tired of how little the value for money the BRF is…..

      • hezzer19 says:

        Yeah, like Princess Racism of Kent. I get that.

        It’s still a ridiculous comment though isn’t it. There are so many things to unpack in that one stupid comment. I can’t even wrap my head around it.

      • Thirsty Hirsty says:

        I think we are all getting to that point of fed-uppedness. Aren’t there any women in publishing? WHY all the pitting, pitiful stories? It’s time to look behind the Royal Family and discover some sick sycophants

  3. Loopy says:

    Kate doesn’t strike me as very confrontational.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      Actually she it – there was a charity roller disco where she cussed out Princess Eugenie in front of a pap, Katie Nicholls I think it was.

      • Mego says:

        It was Beatrice Wasn’t it? I read that Kate gave her the silent treatment during that event which is actually worse than cussing her out. Kate strikes me as a passive aggressive silent treatment type.

      • Nancycon says:

        One of you says Kate cussed out Princess Eugienie at a disco. The other says it was Princess Beatrice & she gave her the silent treatment. Which story is to believed & are either of them actually true! I’m guessing that this is yet another inaccurately transmitted gossip that takes on a different angle every time the story is told!

      • aaa says:

        Kate did not cuss out Princess Beatrice at the charity roller disco event that took place a decade ago.

      • Jan90067 says:

        What I read was it was an 80s themed “dress up” roller disco, and “no one” passed Bea the memo, so she showed up in street clothes. She ran off crying to the loo. Kate was blamed for making her cry (hmmmm… there IS a theme here…somewhere…, isn’t there?).

        So there you go. Many different stories circulating, which one you believe depends on your “side”, or what publication you read.

    • Natalie S says:

      Will and Kate are only normal when trying to avoid work and royal obligations. When it comes to asserting their wants, then they’re very much the future monarch and consort.

      Oh, sorry about that. I didn’t mean that as a reply.

  4. teehee says:

    Yknow whats bothering me?
    Kavanaugh over there, gets all his real problems dismissed.

    Meghan does nothing but good deed and smiles and she gets DRAGGED EVERY DAY on the INTERNATIONAL NEWS STAGE.

    WTF IS THIS

  5. Anya says:

    Well it was hard enough for a British commoner who married into the family – Kate and Pippa were raked over the coals early on in the marriage by the courtiers. They were constantly reminded they were the ‘Wisteria Sisters’ with the amazing ability to climb socially and Carole was constantly mocked for being an ex-trolly dolly. To think they actually have a semblance of understanding how the aristocratic circles worked, given they went to school with most of them. The aristocratic class will redefine what meanness means to Americans trust me, you HAVEN’T seen anything yet. Kate survived because she and her family knew how to keep her head low and she’s the future Queen. The courtiers run that whole show – as Diana and Fergie called them, “the men in grey who run the show”. Never underestimate centuries worth of running that show to their satisfaction.

  6. Alexandria says:

    Kate’s strength is her role as a mother. Nothing wrong with that. Don’t try to make her anything more than that until she has proven it.

    • Joro says:

      I agree, Kate’s strongest trait is her role as a mother. However, her job requires more than just being a mother. After 7 years she (& will) has done the bare minimum to establish any real charity, event or cause. It’s very telling that when people want to defend her and bolster her accomplishments, they can’t come up with any beyond being a mother and future queen. Those two roles are a given and unimpressive overall.

  7. Peg says:

    Duchess Meghan keep on, being yourself.

  8. Franny Days says:

    I like both of them and defend both of them. It’s the hill I’ll die on.

    • Dee says:

      I like them both too, but it’s laughable to say Kate is ‘a strong woman’. She really isn’t. She’s always been trying to do the shy Di thing, and doing it well.
      Meghan is strong, clearly, and Kate seems quite threatened by the attention she’s getting.

  9. Enough S Enough says:

    The constant attacks on Meghan are insane and especially vile in the “Year of #MeToo & #TimesUp.”

    The narrative must always fuel the belief that women are petty cats, clawing each other.

    Meghan is savaged for distancing herself from toxic family members who have shown no love, no caring, no class, but see her as their personal ATM machine.

    The racism, sexism and xenophobia is beyond offensive. It’s so predictable and tired.

    Meghan and Harry will rise above it — but not without first seeing a daily barrage of garbage designed to keep safe the narrative that young women with brains, especially young women of color, must be “brought down a peg.”

    Even if by doing so, our culture is dragged down as well.

    • Mego says:

      I have felt very discouraged by the smearing of Meghan’s reputation since November. Yeah I’m a “stan” so I am invested in her but it’s so relentless and cruel.

    • Imeanreally says:

      Nothing like a good old cat-fight to sell papers. Some things will never change.

  10. Beth says:

    It doesn’t just take an American moving to another country, joining a royal family where she needs to learn lots of rules and traditions, and where her sister in law is already the future queen, etc a while to adjust. That happens to regular, everyday people when they marry and adjust to their new family and life. Eventually the tabloids will run out of BS stories to pit the 2 women against each other, and it will be a little easier for Meghan

    • Nat says:

      Add to that “regular people when they marry, live in the same town with their extended family, AND join a family business”, and you’re exactly right. I think anyone would have a hard time adjusting to all that, no matter their race, nationality, age, and capability level.
      I truly fail to comprehend the drama. Seems to me that things as about as they would be for anyone in that situation less than a year into the marriage. I’m also sure that in 3-5 years this nonsense will be forgotten.

  11. Lizzie says:

    “the most difficult job in the royal family is to work with Meghan’s ambitions and make them realizable” REALLY? that is the most difficult job? REALLY? give me a break. these people might as well live on a different planet. its so silly!

    • Natalie S says:

      But she sent them 5-7 emails a day!

    • Mego says:

      Yeah these kind of comments make the RF look foolish.

    • Xo says:

      They’re trying to improve Kate’s image by spinning Meghan’s strengths into weaknesses. The criticism of Kate is that she’s workshy. Now, if you compare her with Meghan, she looks worse. If you consistently cast Meghan as OVERLY ambitious, pushy, etc., Kate magically begins to look a bit better. More “assiduously pleasing” as that recent VF article called her.

      It’s a game. I’m not sure how effective it will be. . .

    • windyriver says:

      @Mego – The furor the past couple of weeks makes them all look ridiculous. “Don’t explain, don’t complain”, courtiers and staff supposedly talking to the press – time for a new PR strategy. In the current economic climate, the value of the RF is not self-evident. Right now they look like people running a kindergarten who’ve lost control of the kids.

      @Xo – good observation. Someone commented a few weeks ago that a younger Charles made a mistake during his marriage to Diana, engaging in a popularity contest with her via the press, a fail which helped damage his reputation for years to come – and that Will is going down the same road.

      At least Charles was a worker. Not the case with W&K, and it’s not a secret. PR spinning won’t help in the long run unless they start getting out there consistently. Seeming interested is all they need in terms of charisma. Their choice. As time passes, the more people get to know Meghan, and the more she and Harry do, the less effective these stories will be.

  12. Chef Grace says:

    Drama drama drama.
    I think none of this is true except to be gossip, which is what this site is about.
    Maybe, just maybe, 1/10 of something is sorta true.
    😉

  13. Serphina says:

    I agree. This is Cambridge propaganda. Kate is only steong when someone is shaking things up and upsettibg status quo.

    I see her as passive aggredsive. She has had YEARS to hone the skill while she chased Wills.

    Kate wanted a sister in law that was like her: bland, atood in the background, let others lead and make chutney. And since Megs is not I am sure she is upset and so is Wills. They are thinking: WHAT???? You mean because Megs and Harry are out there working we do too???? And then Wills stomps his foot and throws his temper tantrum.

  14. RBC says:

    I have to wonder if Meghan would have been treated differently by the press if she was white and from a aristocratic background? That is the only reason I can see for all of the attacks on Meghan. I shudder to think of what it will be like once the baby arrives.

    • Joro says:

      I think so. Meghan is dealing with a lot of different biases classism, sexism and xenophobia and racism. If you were to take a least two of those biases away I think her treatment would be on par with Kates (in her first couple of years).
      This is why I don’t agree with people who like to point out that Kate and Megan are getting the same negative treatment. Kate did face a lot of classism but that’s about it. It’s not right but making fun of Kate’s gravel driveway is not the same as making fun of Meghan’s skin color or hair texture. I’ve seen a ton of royalist/fans comment on social media about the disgrace Meghan brings to the Firm for simply being part black. Everyone uses coded language, microaggressions, dog whistles to get their point across but the reality is they’re racist.

    • windyriver says:

      I think a white woman from an aristocratic background, who was also charismatic, independent, and had the same successes Meghan has with her work this year (tours, cookbook), would still have had problems, because I do believe W&K feel threatened by her, and that this is an element in the coverage and negative PR that’s out there.

      In fact, a woman from an that background might seem like even more of a threat to Kate, since she’s not an aristocrat. Such a woman might not have the same kind or level of problems, and it might take longer to take her down, but I doubt it would be smooth sailing. People who remember more than I do about how Diana and Fergie were treated might have more insight to add.

      I’m curious whether Meghan would have had it a bit easier without her awful family in the mix. That wouldn’t eliminate the other biases she faces – but the fact that she has such a trashy family is another way for people to characterize Meghan and dismiss her as “unworthy” right out of the gate.

  15. Frida_K says:

    What an obnoxious cover shot. Meghan is portrayed as slightly off-centered and smirking. Kate, on the other side, is straight on, centered, and smiling in a wholesome, toothy fashion. Clearly, if we are to read this photograph as it is intended, Meghan is a little shifty and maybe naughty (at the very least, sly) and certainly not to be trusted 100%, while Kate–so white, so British, so respectable–is hiding nothing and is the strong, resolute, cheerful one. Even the color of their clothes subtly underscores that one is darker and one is lighter.

    How obnoxious.

    • Toot says:

      Exactly. People is shady as hell, and has been for years.

      Also, this supposed family friend is definitely in the Cambridge camp, if this is true, and must have the ok from them to speak to People. Not good to do this to your brother’s pregnant wife.

    • Lily says:

      The Daily Express did a similar article and the use of images was……..interesting.
      They chose a picture of Meghan talking, using hand gestures back in July at the Commonwealth Young Leaders’ ceremony, but drastically darkened her skin and the colour around her eyes to make her look furious and aggressive while a smaller picture is used of Kate getting out of a car, with a bemused look and slightly bend back, so it looks like she is literally cowering at the scary beast that is supposed to be Meghan. Richard Palmer expects us not to call his paper and coverage racist……bloody hell.

    • abbi says:

      Yes it seems that now even the mags from the US have turned against Meghan?

  16. Aerohead21 says:

    All satire here but I just feel like I hear Meghan telling Kate, girl you can be a mom and a queen. Whatchu whining bout. Put your big girl tiara on.

    And thus the war began.

    Like people feel like Meghan wants to be queen. Maybe she just wants to take advantage of her platform and you don’t like that you have to outperform her to prove you’re queen and she’s just a Duchess. Like maybe it’s just easier to tear her down than it is to try to work harder than her.

  17. Amelie says:

    This article was so dumb, even for People. I read it and I was surprised People was even stooping to this nonsense. Sometimes I do wonder what Kate and William thought would happen whenever Harry married. Whether it was Chelsea, Cressida, or Meghan or someone else… Did they think they’d never have to share the spotlight? I guess they were surprised when they ended up with an ambitious, strong woman with her own will and ideas. While I’m not a fan of these smearing stories, it does seem Kate has realized she has to work more and not just do a casual 3-4 outings a month. (I think Prince William has stepped up his work though, it seems like we seem him several times a week but this site doesn’t cover it).

  18. Mar says:

    I guess we are all supposed to kiss “ Future Queen Kate’s” ass as should Meghan right?
    Don’t mess with Queenie