Kate Hudson is raising daughter Rani with a ‘genderless’ approach

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I completely blanked on the fact that Kate Hudson gave birth to a girl last year. She welcomed Rani Rose with boyfriend Danny Fujikawa in early October. Kate already had two sons – Bingham and Ryder – and I always wondered if she would eventually try to have a girl. Kate always seemed like the kind of person who really yearned for a daughter, so her third pregnancy was probably very exciting for her. You would think that after giving birth to this long-sought daughter, Kate would be going overboard – everything pink and frilly and feminine and tons of cute little baby dresses. But Kate says not so much, that she’s raising Rani with a more “genderless” approach.

Kate Hudson isn’t putting any gender labels on little Rani Rose. The 39-year-old actress and WW ambassador revealed in a recent interview with AOL that she embraces a “genderless approach” to parenting 3-month-old Rani and her two older brothers from Hudson’s previous relationships: Bingham Hawn, 7½, and Ryder Russell, 15.

“[Having a daughter] doesn’t really change my approach, but there’s definitely a difference,” she told the outlet. “I think you just raise your kids individually regardless — like a genderless [approach]. We still don’t know what she’s going to identify as. I will say that, right now, she is incredibly feminine in her energy, her sounds and her way. It’s very different from the boys, and it’s really fun to actually want to buy kids’ clothes. With the boys it was just onesies … actually, I did pretty good with the boys,” she clarified with a laugh. “But with her it’s a whole other ball game. There’s some stuff that I’m like, ‘I can’t do that to her, because it’s so over-the-top.’ “

Hudson’s own upbringing — as the only girl in a group of brothers, including Oliver Hudson and Wyatt Russell — helped her be able to see the fluidity of gender roles.

“I was a tomboy in a spinning dress,” she shared. “My middle brother [Boston Russell], who is closest to me in age, was basically my sister because I put makeup on him all the time, and I’d dress him up and he loved it. But growing up as a girl with all boys, you end up with a thick skin. You really do. People say, ‘Oh, your brothers must’ve really protected you.’ And I’m like, ‘They threw me right into the fire!’ ”

[From People]

I’m always a little bit jealous of women who grew up with brothers – I’m an only child, and I never really longed for siblings, but it just seems to me like women who grew up as the only sister in families of boys turn out tough and with a healthy attitude towards men and male-female relationships. As for Rani Rose and the genderless parenting approach… I get what she means and I don’t think she means any harm. I think she’s just saying that she’s not going to force Rani into frilly dresses and ballet classes in general, and Kate will listen and be aware of Rani’s vibes rather than forcing some pre-subscribed gender roles onto her.

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Photos courtesy of Kate Hudson’s Instagram.

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104 Responses to “Kate Hudson is raising daughter Rani with a ‘genderless’ approach”

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  1. Hope says:

    Good for her! If I ever have kids, I also really want to raise them genderneutral, but I think that society will make it very difficult.

    When did she have the nose surgery? She looks superdifferent!! I always thought she had a cute nose before :O

  2. KikiMee says:

    Genderless approach but she dresses the babe in pink and frills and said she wants to give her bf a “son”? Contradictory much?

    • Sayrah says:

      Yep, agreed and I like Kate.

    • Bryn says:

      What’s wrong with pink with frills on a boy lol

    • Krakken says:

      So she’s taking a genderless approach but then in the next breathe describing her observation that her baby’s energy as feminine.
      Celebrities: their words are mostly meaningless. 🤫

      • Erinn says:

        That got me, too. I don’t understand how you can categorize such a tiny baby’s ‘energy’ as being feminine. No. You have it in your head that because she was born a girl that you can say “oh her energy is feminine” as if she’s so much more ‘in touch’ with that kind of thing. I don’t know why she couldn’t just say “We’re not going to try to push her into one specific bracket of gender stereotyping”.

        I used to like her, but she kind of just bugs now.

    • Jess says:

      Yep completely agree, genderless yet in a floral or bright pink onesie and saying her baby “sounds” feminine?!? Wtf, lol.

    • Zee says:

      In Hollywood genderless usually means raising boys like girls by giving them Elsa dresses and ponytails. They have no idea what to do with a girl. It’s a lot of talk without having a real concept.

  3. Monicack says:

    I think birth order has more of or at least as much of an impact as gender. I like what she is saying here though.

  4. Rea says:

    “We don’t know what she will identify as”. Really.

    • Shane says:

      Hopefully her daughter doesn’t identify as a toaster! There is not a single thing wrong with calling your daughter a girl and treating her as such. She’s a baby, for God’s sake!!

      • Coco says:

        There’s also not a single thing wrong with going a more gender neutral route until a child can do a better job self identifying. They are only babies, after all! Whatever works best for your family is what matters.

      • Letty says:

        Shane, I agree with you.

      • Monicack says:

        Treating her as such? That’s usually where the issues start. Just call her a girl and treat her as a person.

      • Lulu says:

        Shane +1000

      • Pseudointellectual says:

        Shane, I totally agree. And I agree with Monicack to a degree. Jay right below said it well. It’s not your child being genderless but that the environment is free of gender-role messaging. I think that’s the biggest confusion with a lot of people thinking it’s great to confuse their kids about this from an early age. I remember wanting to be a boy from a very early age until puberty (when I discovered the appeal of boys) and I remember thinking it was because they were stronger. I wanted to be strong, independent, and powerful – and somehow being a girl wasn’t congruent with that in my mind. If I had received messaging – role models, whatever – that it was not incongruent, then I wouldn’t have aspired to being another gender, I’m 100% certain of it.

      • Tessy says:

        For sure. This is getting ridiculous.

      • Himmiefan says:

        Exactly. Call her a girl and tell her that being a girl is fabulous and that she can do anything.

      • noway says:

        I kind of feel like people are making this more complicated than it needs to be, and trust me there are many complicated things with parenthood you don’t need to add to it. The vast majority of kids are going to identify with the sex they are born with, mainly cause of hormones and genes. For the ones that don’t, just be open and listen to them and let them be and encourage them to be themselves. Every kid heterosexual, bisexual, transgender, and all are going to be confused a bit at puberty, again hormones, just let them know that they are free to be who they are and it’s alright to be confused. Teach them to be kind to their fellow kids going through the same thing. Now as far as the social constraints of gender clothes, why is this such a big deal, especially as a baby. I mean I don’t understand why any boy would want to wear a dress, mainly cause as a girl I can’t stand them, but who cares about this sure if you wear some things people are probably going to look at you, but does that really matter. So until the kid lets you know otherwise dress them how the parent wants. If you want to dress your girl in frilly dresses and boy in mini suits or even vice versa go for it, cause your kid at some point is probably going to hate how you dressed them, and definitely what the hell did you do to my hair that it is probably not going to matter. Also, encourage them to do any hobby that interests them, and encourage them that they can be or do whatever they want.

      • therealMrsKC says:

        Agree with you, Shane!

    • jay says:

      The key is in raising kids in a genderless ENVIRONMENT. Not as genderless nothing people. This isn’t about how they “identify”…god how I wish that overused word would just go away. It’s about deconstructing the gendered power of things around them (i.e. toys, clothes, books, sports, hobbies, careers, academics, etc.) to break down the reinforcement of patriarchal ideals and traditional gender roles. We really need to discern what it is we’re making “genderless”.

      • Pandy says:

        Thank you! Not sure a baby has that identity picker yet ha ha ha.

      • Case says:

        Agreed, Jay. It’s about allowing children to express themselves how they please, play dress-up how they please, play with the toys they want, etc. and I think that’s a wonderful approach to parenting. It’s about not limiting a child from doing things they enjoy because of their gender. If they end up identifying as something other than their assigned sex as they get older, they’ll feel more comfortable expressing that. But it’s mostly just about treating children fairly and equally regardless of gender.

      • Killjoy says:

        Came here to say this, +1

      • Otaku fairy... says:

        Thank you. Not sure why this has people so defensive.

    • LadyT says:

      In 2017 0.6% of US adults identified as transgender. Mentioning gender identity in regards to an infant is just bizarre to me. Why bring up now some possibility so obscure except to project on your own image?

    • deezee says:

      No Kate doesn’t know. Her child will decide who and how they’ll act. And yes, much of the time it is along traditional gender identities but not always, and not every child describes themselves so black and white.
      Personally, I cringe when I hear parents make assumptions based on perceived gender norms and heteronormative expectations.

    • Haapa says:

      Says she wants to raise child genderless. Uses feminine pronouns for child. Hmmmmm.

  5. Dttimes2 says:

    I have have no comment other than i WANT that pink hoodie she’s wearing

  6. Scarlett says:

    Give her a name which literally means queen….and then raise her with a genderless approach, yeah ok.

    • AnnaKist says:

      Phew. I agree, and almost wrote something similar, but then checked myself, not wanting to appear a whinger. She’s still very contradictory for someone her age.

    • Alissa says:

      Doesn’t she mispronounce it so that it’s Ronnie? I thought it was for some dude who had passed away (I can’t remember who/what the relation was) and his name was Ronnie, so she was paying tribute to him with her daughter’s name.

    • Pseudointellectual says:

      She’s an airhead, always been one.

  7. Coco says:

    It’s hard sometimes because gender norms are so ingrained. I try to use the word kid in place of boy when praising my two year old because I don’t know what he will self identify as later in childhood. I try to dress him in brighter colors than just the typical grey, navy, olive, tan colors for typical boys clothing. We have a play kitchen along with his tool bench and fairy wings and superhero capes in his dress up bin. He loves wearing either because he’s two and doesn’t know one is associated with boy while the other girl. He helps me bake and I’m teaching him to vacuum and unload the dishwasher because those are good life skills, not just ones women should learn. It’s giving them the options to choose what brings them joy and feels right to them, whether it’s usually a “boy” or “girl” thing to do. It helps that I prefer more gender neutral for kids until they can decide for themselves. If he wants to only wear blue and play with cars, that’s fine too. But until he can make those decisions I’m going to give him the options to explore what’s right for him.

    • leela says:

      there is nothing wrong with telling your son he is a good boy – that is his sex. what his gender is, remains to be seen. he will realise it for himself. and lucky for him, you are going to accept him no matter what. but there is nothing sexist about the word “boy”, more so with the word “girl”. what is important is what some of the posters are saying – do not box him into roles. i.e. “boys fixes things, girls bake cookies” – which i acknowledge you are already doing. so that’s great. but the thing is, you need to acknowledge the different sexes. you are female and he is male because kids go through that phase of identifying themselves, differentiating himself as a boy (having a penis) from a girl (having a vagina). its shorter than kid-with-penis, kid-with-vagina. let’s not make the words “girl” or “boy”, frightening or unacceptable – that is just wrong.

      • therealMrsKC says:

        Agreed. What on earth is wrong with calling your male child a boy?? He IS a boy. If he wants to change things for himself when he grows up, that’s his decision but there is nothing wrong with raising children according to their gender. You can still show him that boys can play with dolls or bake sets or whatever AND call him a boy. It’s more about teaching them that they can be and do anything they want in life.

  8. Jegede says:

    “Kate already had two sons – Bingham and Ryder – and I always wondered if she would eventually try to have a girl.”

    There’s no wondering here. Hudson flat out said it on many occasions in the past how much she wanted it.

    Kate has been openly desperate for a girl.
    Her ecstasy in that reveal Insta video confirms that.

    She herself openly stated she hoped her second baby – would be a girl – before Bing was born. Both her brothers, Oliver & Wyatt, flat out said how relieved they were that the 3rd baby was a girl and how anxious Kate was for that to happen.

    Maybe I’m cynical, but I think she’s saying this now cause it’s what she feels she should say. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️

    • Tiffany says:

      This….and she said she is not done. She would love another child.

    • CA Family Code says:

      I’m kinda cynical about Kate too. Where are her other kids? Ever? I get one is a teen, but the other is seven and I never see her with that little one. It’s been non-stop coverage of this little girl and it seems like she doesn’t spend much time with the others.

      • Tiffany says:

        I follow her on IG and the kids are with her along with their father’s (as she reposts from her oldest son, Chris and Matt’s accounts when there are pics with the kids). I am sure there are custody agreements in place that she has to honor.

  9. PhillyGal says:

    Hope her heart is in the right place here, and she’s not just doing this because it’s the latest fad or to get media attention. I think what’s important is to raise your kids gender neutral/the same when it comes to your expectations of them, encouraging their emotional side, etc. I don’t see clothing as being an important component when they are really young. When kids get older, they self-select their clothing preferences, and parents just need to respect that.

    • Isabelle says:

      Yes!!!! It is a trend and treating sexuality like a trend, especially if that child knows their body and the difference between boy/girl bodies (some kids figure out faster that others) could be very damaging to a childs psych.

    • Belle Epoch says:

      Latest fad! Exactly. Raising a truly “genderless” child is extremely difficult and goes against the grain of society in pretty much every way – although it’s easier in Sweden, where they already have a gender neutral pronoun. VICE news did an excellent documentary on a non-binary couple in Sweden raising two genderless kids who both have nonrevealing names, long blonde hair, skirts, and are always referred to as “them.” NO ONE is told what equipment they were born with.


  10. Bryn says:

    Didn’t they have a gender reveal party with the pink balloons and all lol

    • lucy2 says:

      Yup. I don’t think she means any harm in it, but this just sounds like trendy hipster talk to me.

      I don’t have kids myself, but I think it’s fine if you want to dress them in pink or blue, or decorate their rooms more masculine or feminine when they’re babies – what’s important is that when they’re older and maybe gravitate towards a different type of clothing or toys, or beyond that, you let them, respect their choices, and support them in whoever they want to be.

  11. Libby says:

    I’d also like to argue that (most) men who grow up with sisters are more compassionate towards women. I always found a DRASTIC difference in men I went out with who had a sister or had none. Ended up marrying the best one who has 2 sisters, and no brothers.

    • Swack says:

      Taught with a guy who had only sisters and you could tell it.

    • Parigo says:

      This is so true. Like someone also said above, birth order factors into a personality as well. Almost all my boyfriends were the oldest child in the family with little sisters.

    • Kitten says:

      It’s a generalization for sure but I think it’s one that mostly holds true. All of my longest relationships were with men who had sisters. Some of the worst (and shortest) relationships I’ve had were with men who grew up with brothers or as a single child.

    • Pseudointellectual says:

      I agree and also agree with the birth order point Parigo made.

  12. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    I look back through the years with my sons, back to the 90s even. I was doing genderless before it was a thing lol. I remember shopping with my parents for baby things when I was pregnant, and the conversations we had were very specific. I didn’t know what I doing per say, I just knew I didn’t want blue everything, boy’s toys only, blah, blah, blah. Mom and I actually argued…she thought I was being ridiculous, silly and awful to my sons. Mom practically fainted when I let middle son have Tinkerbell’s House. They seem fine.

    • Esmom says:

      People really are rigid about those norms, aren’t they? I had a co-worker who told me he was “worried” because his toddler son picked out Barbie band-aids at the store. He was truly distressed and nothing I said would convince him that it really was ok.

      • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

        Right? What is that? On many occasions, I noticed grimacing because my son was holding a doll or some other item from, “The Pink Aisle.” Precisely why it wasn’t off limits for me. Ugh.

    • wolfgirl says:

      Oh Mabs you are describing me amd my children! In the early 90s as well. My mum saying the same things when I bought my son some Barbie accessories and dressed my daughter in ‘boy’s’ overalls because … well … because she wanted them.
      It wasn’t a discussion of their sex. It was an approach to letting them be who they wanted to be. You could have been describing our own experience. Thank you, ! They are in their late twenties now. They are who they are and I love them.

  13. Original T.C. says:

    Someone give her a talk show already. She’s just doing random interviews, not currently promoting a movie, book, tv show clothing line, etc. Note to Hollywood moms: having a child is not a skill!

  14. Eliza says:

    Genderless approach with a newborn???

    I mean what gendered pressures do newborns face other than pushing pink/blue narrative (which she’s following)?? When she’s older maybe?

    We didn’t find out. My husband wanted to be surprised, and I wanted neutral everything so we could reuse if/when a second comes along (I’m cheap). So my daughters area is genderless I guess as a byproduct of that, and someone got her a red doll and she already holds it and tries to feed her the bottle which surprised me because no one showed her.

    • Lexilla says:

      I was thinking the same thing — gender-neautral clothes are a smart financial choice if you’re going to have more kids. My daughter got lots of pink stuff as gifts and I always said if the second one was a boy, he was going to get in touch with his feminine side VERY early.

  15. Mia4s says:

    Look I don’t disagree with the concept but since I’m a cynical bitch I basically read this as Kate Hudson is (telling us all) she is raising daughter Rani in (whatever way will generate headlines and hopefully get her a lifestyle blog of some sort as her acting career has been non-existent for years).

    Now he await the follow up headline: Kate Hudson hits back at “hurtful” comments shaming her for how she is raising her daughter.

    Sorry but I can set my watch by this stuff these days. Sell mommyhood, get follow up story, stay in headlines.

  16. Gia says:

    No, she’s not. She might SAY she is to be trendy, but let’s not forget that she had a big gender reveal all over social media a few months ago. It is one thing to think its cute for girls to be a tomboy and not buy pink and another to teach your kids that gender is a construct and they are allowed to be who they are. Let’s not get confused here.

  17. Dttimes2 says:

    And yet isnt that exactly what Angelina did with Shiloh and got so much flack for?

  18. Ali says:

    She wants her child to be free to express her natural traits and grow up with self-confidence. That’s not genderless as much as just accepting your child for who they are and giving them the space to figure it out.

  19. Doodle says:

    I got the impression that she meant babies in general are kind of genderless, in that a baby is a baby and it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl because it’s a baby. Gender doesn’t really play a role until they get a bit older. I have one of each, and always stressed that toys are toys and there aren’t boy or girl toys. My daughter isn’t very girly and my son looooooves stuffies. Mine are 8 and 10 and we have talked about gender and how some people are born into the wrong bodies and we should be compassionate about that and not judgemental. I’m not sure about the whole gender neutrality concept as a whole, but at the same time I figure each parent should do what makes sense for them.

  20. Gigi La Moore says:

    Sounds dumb, but if she likes it, I love it. Raise them mindfully and let them come into their own whatever that may be.

  21. Mel M says:

    My youngest daughter to me is definitely more maternal then her brothers and that’s her soul not me pushing anything on her. She’s the youngest of the four (1 min younger then her twin brother lol) and so I haven’t sat there and pushed anything on her because frankly I don’t have time. I play with all the kids the same and they have a lot of different toys and free time to choose what and how they want to play. The boys play with dolls and barbies and purses and tutus and she plays with dragons and monster trucks but she is different from them in that she takes care of her baby dolls and in a much more maternal way by rocking them, holding them, feeding them. While the boys play with them, they usually just make them cry and put them to bed lol. She also roll plays a lot more with the barbies and their babies in the doll house. It’s been interesting to watch, as she has a twin brother and older brother, how different they all are even though I do the same things with all of them. I also have a father who tries to joke about my boys playing with “girl” stuff too and I don’t entertain it for one second. Kids this young just want to play, they aren’t pushing an agenda and neither are we and I don’t care who plays with what or dresses which way, it’s just fun to them.

  22. The Voice says:

    I get what she’s saying. I tried so hard with my daughter to just raise her to have confidence in her abilities and not care about other people’s opinions. She’s almost 4 now and she’s super into frilly dresses and princesses. You just can’t control what other people say to her. My mom (sigh) just sends her a different message and it’s frustrating. So many people are conditioned to believe gender constructs, myself included. It’s really hard to deprogram yourself but I’m a work in progress. I just consistently drill into her head that she needs to work hard, get a job so that she can earn her own money so that she’ll have options. She loves watching short videos of princesses and I’ll tell her that after that scene, the princess is going to work to earn money!

  23. HelloSunshine says:

    Meh, as long as you’re not forcing one way or another, I don’t see the issue? We unintentionally went gender neutral as far as toys and books (which really isn’t that difficult to do anyway for a baby) and my kid loves trucks and anything that has wheels, loves helping me bake and playing with kitchen utensils, loves the colors pink and black, etc. People just need to let their kids gravitate to whatever (unless it’s dangerous or gross, I’m pretty sure every kid tries to eat dirt and stuff lol)

    • horseandhound says:

      well, that’s called being normal and sane. of course boys should be allowed to bake and girls to play with cars. but to treat a baby girl as some genderless being is ridiculous and I actually have no idea what that would even mean. I think the important thing is not to impose things like ‘women have to cook’, ‘men have to play sports’, ‘women have to be into fashion’,etc. onto people, but it’s totally normal to call a girl a girl and a boy a boy, even when that girl is a taxi driver and that boy is a kindergarden teacher.

  24. horseandhound says:

    and that’s why the left is being mocked nowadays.

  25. Goldengirlslover34 says:

    I get it and that’s how we approached our boy-girl twins. I had two brothers so I was never a girly girl but loved dolls. We decided to just kind of go with the flow and try hard not to place gender norms on them.

    My kids are three and my daughter loves pink/purple (and i never bought her pink as a a baby bc I hated the color as a child) but hates dolls. She loves spider man and transformers. They both have strollers but my son requested a black one and they take their toys on walks. We kind of keep it very breezy and follow their lead. The other day they were having a tea party with Iron Man, Spider-Man, Minnie Mouse and Bumble-Bee from Transformers and it was one of the most amazing and hilarious things ever. I just want them to feel comfortable playing anything or engaging in any activities without anyone labeling it as “girl or boy” stuff.

  26. megs283 says:

    I can’t stand the whole “boy mom” and “girl mom” thing today. Not everything has to be a competition or dichotomy. I’m not sure why it needs to be a message, but I like that Kate Hudson is trying to say that she’s going to let her daughter determine her own interests and passions.

  27. Ash says:

    We are non-gender specific in our home. My five year old son is a die hard “Brony.” He wanted his birthday to be My Little Pony and we came through in spades for him. He can tell you every single pony name and whether they have the Element of Harmony or not. He wears pink when he wants to. Our boys both like Barbie. My older brother was so appalled by this thy he cut ties with me and that’s okay with me. My sons are confident and I was so proud when my oldest told me “I don’t care if people don’t like that I’m a boy who likes My Little Pony. I know what I like momma!”

    • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

      I have two Bronies here ages 13 and 22 lol. The 13yo knows everything about the show. Characters and their development throughout the series. This is a serious thing or cult! They’re mesmerized with the story as much as any anime fan. Speaking of anime, omg…from One Piece to Pokémon, my guys are, well they’re just weird lol. Have you ever heard anime conservations? It’s all philosophy and graphics. Everything has deep cerebral meaning, and trust me, it’s something to behold lol.

    • lucy2 says:

      Your kids sound happy and confident – that’s awesome!
      I can’t believe your brother though. Wow.

  28. Oliviajoy1995 says:

    The gender neutral clothes basically look like boys clothes. So I’ve never understood that approach because boys still dress as boys and girls dress as boys too.

  29. Ali says:

    You guys are being cross gender accepting if you want to put a label on it not gender neutral.

    Everyone here still identifies pink and ponies as girl things only it’s okay if your son likes it. Or trucks are boys toys but it’s okay if your girl plays with those.

    No one is saying my boy only loves trucks even though he can do whatever he likes.
    Gender “neutral” only comes up when it’s a blend of things typically identified as one or the other.

    My son’s best guy friend since preschool is a tween and loves unicorns and to wear pink. My son has no interest in either. Neither of them would have any idea of the concept of gender neutral. They are just boys being boys in a world that lets them be themselves.

  30. elimaeby says:

    I was an only child, but raised in a very small, close-knit community where the kids were all similar in age. I was the only girl, so it was like growing up with a huge mess of brothers. I agree with her saying “they threw me in the fire,” in the best way. I have thick skin and ended up in stand-up comedy and corporate America at the same time. I’m not afraid to tangle with the boys and exchange barbs. It’s a game to me. I was able to learn to play football along with my dance classes and to enjoy gory video games as much as I liked dollhouses. I’m glad I grew up that way, and I hope little Rani gets the same experience.

  31. ex-Mel says:

    Children should not be guinea pigs for ideological experiments. Period.
    Thankfully, not dressing a girl in pink or dresses – and things like that – is not the same as a “genderless” approach.

    • elimaeby says:

      I agree. As in my comment above, I say my parents kind of let me steer my own course, which I am happy with. They never tried to tell me I didn’t have a gender, just that I was a girl, but could do anything I wanted. Let me play football along with dance class, etc. I think that’s more what Kate is saying here. At least I hope it is.

      • Pseudointellectual says:

        Agree with both of you. This thread is a great read because I’m really confused about the no-gender thing as it does not appear to be healthy to be telling kids they have no gender and have to pick one (as opposed to being accepting and supportive if a child decides they want to transition). Jay upthread pointed out it really should be about raising kids in gender-role-less environments.

  32. Umila says:

    I feel like that’s either a romance trope or some other stereotype…the bit about growing up with a healthy relationship and being “tough”. What does that even mean?

    I grew up with 5 older brothers and I did not have a healthy view of men. We seldom talk now because I take care of our mom, even though they could help and are better off financially. I am also a very sensitive person. They were also so completely overbearing and condescending that I felt shut down a lot as a kid. So, where does this great legend of being the only girl and somehow very street-smart/healthy attitude towards men come from?

    • justwastingtime says:

      Umila, I am sorry. I grew up as number two of four kids, with two brothers. Despite the fact that my older brother at times “threw me into the fire” he was also very protective of me (as I was of him). Sometimes the dynamics don’t work out as well and I can completely see that having five overbearing brothers would be tough. Also, it’s absolutely inexcusable that your brothers are not pitching in.

  33. minx says:

    For god’s sake, enjoy having a baby daughter! Dress her in cute things, the baby doesn’t know the difference FFS. I had a daughter after a son and I went nuts.

  34. DS9 says:

    I’m not feeling the genderless goal. Most children will grow to identify how they appear to be born.

    I do believe in degendering things that don’t have a gender. Cooking, compassion, athleticism, kindness, domestic chores, etc don’t have anything to do with your genitals. Neither do colors, hobbies, tv shows, or toys.

    I also believe in gender inclusiveness, to raise your children in the gender the appear to be born to but leave room and openness for the idea that they may identify differently. And to leave room for people they meet not identifying as they appear.

  35. Kate Kack says:

    I think it is a beautiful and loving way to parent.

  36. JRock says:

    We attempted gender neutral when our son was born, but we didn’t stick to it. However, as he’s grown up (he’s 7 now), we encourage gender-neutral in his fashion, toys, and other interests. When we were shopping for thermal underwear shirts, he found some in the girls section that had rhinestone snaps instead of buttons. He loves cleaning items as gifts, like vacuums and stuff. His best friend is female, and she’s not very girl-focused, but her mom dresses her very feminine, she has long hair and earrings, etc. She and my son like the same games, etc. When she wanted black polish pedicures, she and my son played spa day and I used my foot spa to give them the full treatment. We even tried mascara! It was great fun!

    When my son went to school the following week, one of his student teachers chastised him and said “nail polish is for girls”, which made my son very upset. I live in a suburb of KC, and I honestly didn’t expect it. We had a long chat with the school, and that was that.

    His classmates don’t seem to care that he prefers since activities or games over the other for the most part. I hope it stays that way. My husbands parents are born again Christian, and my husband is atheist, while I’m more agnostic (Catholic School will do that to you), and his dad is a former Marine, so they’ve tried to make comments in the past and I just shut it down. These kids only have a few magic years before things become cool/uncool and there are so many societal pressures on them. I hope my son always knows that no matter what, I’m going to support his interests as long as they aren’t destructive to himself or could harm other people. It’s a hard balance, but we’re trying really hard!

  37. CairinaCat says:

    My boys had Thomas trains, power rangers.. they also had easy bake oven’s they baked the shit out of stuff with and barbies, and babies, stuffed animals, cap guns, bracelet makers, they both crochet, play soccer, archery, football, dance. My boys are 14 and 23 and they still like stuffed animals and soft cuddly blankets with kittens for one and unicorns for the other while they play Rainbow 6 , Viva Pinata and GTA on their Xbox and play station

    You give your kids everything and every opportunity you can and let them pick what they like

    My boys both identify as male, The older one is Bi leaning more to gay and the younger seems to be hetero so far to me.
    I am very open and vocally accepting of whoever they love.
    So are their fathers. (I have a great man picker as far as them being great fathers go)
    I have T.V. watching tiaras and both my boys will walk around wearing them.

    My children are people and can do whatever the hell pleases them as far as who they love, what they want to look like and identify as

  38. BuddyJack says:

    In theory, I get what she’s saying but her words and her actions are contradictory and really……all this is way overboard.

    Just treat your child without stereotypes, love them and let time …and the child….tell their story.

  39. Tassiegal says:

    Her face looks very surgeried to me.

  40. Andrea says:

    I just realized she has three kids with three baby daddies just like Kate Winslet!

  41. therealMrsKC says:

    Trendy hipster talk and nothing more.

  42. Beezers says:

    She’s as dumb as a rock — with apologies to all rocks.