Amy Schumer has a new Netflix standup special that premieres today called Growing. She must be due soon, right? I feel like we’ve been hearing about her pregnancy for a while, but that’s also because she’s been open about her medical condition and how sick she’s been. In her special, Amy says that her husband, Chris Fischer, is on the autism spectrum. She said that Chris has Aspergers (apparently it’s no longer an official diagnosis) and that’s part of what drew her to him.
During the hour-long special, [Amy Schumer] reveals that her husband, Chris Fischer, is on the autism spectrum.
“I knew from the beginning that my husband’s brain was a little different than mine,” she tells the crowd during the special, which was filmed in Chicago.”I have to start this over because I really want to get this right because I love him very much.”
“My husband was diagnosed with what used to be called Asperger’s. He has autism spectrum disorder. He’s on the spectrum. And there were some signs early on,” Schumer says, before telling a story of how her husband reacted abnormally to her falling down during a walk together.
“Once he was diagnosed, it dawned on me how funny it was, because all of the characteristics that make it clear that he’s on the spectrum are all of the reasons that I fell madly in love with him,” she says in her Netflix special. “That’s the truth. He says whatever is on his mind. He keeps it so real. He doesn’t care about social norms or what you expect him to say or do.”
I have a friend who is on the spectrum. I know because he’s open about it and posts about it to social media. Until I read Amy’s quotes it never occurred to me that it may be part of the reason he’s such an awesome gossip. I love talking to him because he tells it like it is, like Amy mentioned. Everyone is different of course I just thought that was a cool way to explain it.
I can’t post one of Amy’s latest Instagram posts because she’s naked (it’s from far away though) but she writes, in all caps “#GROWING MY @netflix Special comes out Tuesday I CANT WAIT TO READ WHAT ALL THE WHITE MALE CRITICS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY PREGNANCY SPECIAL!” She nailed it.
Photos credit: WENN
I LOVE how she ALWAYS wears clothes that barely covers her ass…
I JUST LOVE THAT!!!
And I get what she says about her hubby…I really and TRULY do!
My husband is also on the spectrum and i agree that it is probably what drew me to him. Tho he was a tough nut to crack at first what with all the social inhibitions, once you get to know him you really know him. There is no pretence, no malice, no bs, it’s just all laid out for betteror worse. It’s fascinating unlearning all my own bs about how we think ppl should behave and just strip it all back to genuine interaction. I’m so happy to observe the openess we have about autism now when 10 or 15 years ago there was a lot of fear surrounding it
This is nice because there is so much emphasis on “curing” autism. People with what-used-to-be-called-Asperger’s don’t need or want to be “fixed”. Many extremely famous and successful people are like this (Bill Gates probably – people who are completely obsessed with one subject). In my limited experience, the downside is that people on the spectrum have a hard time seeing the world from another person’s POV.
The “curing” thing is interesting. I feel like I don’t hear about curing it anymore, I just hear about people who find that offensive. I find that people who are high-functioning or are related to more highly-functioning people on the autism spectrum are offended by people wanting to “cure” it, because it’s part of their identity. And I totally get that. But I also empathize with people who want a cure, because many of them tend to be parents of children who are extremely low-functioning and their child’s diagnosis has debilitated both their child’s life and their (the parents) life. So, I don’t get too miffed by folks who want a cure, because typically it means their day-to-day life is beyond what most of us can imagine.
Yes!! Hit the nail on the head! My son is high functioning and will probably take issue with a cure. But I asked parents who have kids with low functioning autism and they would def want a cure. I’m very blessed and lucky to have my boy in my life.
You summarized that really well. My nephew is high functioning so it is part of him. But i am friends with a family whose son does not speak and has significant behavioral issues- significant. He cannot be left alone, he cannot attend school, his mother’s whole life is caring for him. So a cure is something they pray for.
Autism is a on a spectrum, it can be incredibly debilitating for those on the other end of the spectrum. I have an adult cousin who cannot communicate in full sentences, cannot live independently and can’t work.
I hope he gave her his approval to reveal this to the world. Some people are more open about being on the spectrum than others. Not that there is anything wrong with that! But just because he “tells it like it is” doesn’t necessarily mean he wanted her to let everyone know.
I can’t imagine he didn’t give her the ok. But good point. My son most definitely doesn’t want people to know. I keep hoping that will change but it’s not my decision.
She was just medically cleared to leave New Orleans right after Mardi Gras, I think, so she’s probably still got a few weeks if she was able to fly.
This headline brought a tear to my eye. My 19-year-old son is on the spectrum (formerly Aspergers) and is doing well away at college. His depression/anxiety is at bay, he’s hanging in there with classes, he’s a student athlete and he has friends. But he feels like romance is out of reach for him and that makes me sad. He loves hanging out with the girlfriends of friends or of my other son’s but always as the sidekick.
He doesn’t disclose his diagnosis to most people, preferring to fly under the radar as much as possible. I often think that if he were open about his struggles most people would understand. he doesn’t think so, sigh.
This gives me hope that he will one day find someone who loves him for who he is.
My 18 year-old daughter has the same concerns. She’s open about her autism, but has struggled so much with friendships and potential relationships. A lot of people keep feeling the need to harp on her or tone police her natural speech patterns.
Aw, I just want to give her (and you) a virtual hug. People can be so awful. As much as we as a society pay lip service to diversity, so many people are still not all that comfortable with people who march to the beat of their own drummers. Especially at that age.
MsBanjo and ESMOM,
I suspect my mother is on the spectrum and while she never dated after she and my father divorced, she was married for 25 years and raised a family – so yeah, romance was absolutely possible. Growing up, it could be a little tough to connect with her emotionally, but as an adult, I learned that she was great when I needed a clear, level headed response that was NOT terribly emotional. I wish we had known more about autism when I was growing up because it would have helped me understand my mother better.
Totally different, but my husband has ADHD and (I think) OCD….although we are polar opposites, I love those things that make him him.
Is he just not ready to date or he’s dated and had bad experiences? Is he scared that being on the spectrum would be a turn-off?
He’s probably self-conscious like so many of us were at that age, but hopefully with time he gets more comfortable in his own skin. I think maybe that has to happen first before he can open up and make himself vulnerable in a romantic relationship.
I really do think with time, that will happen though, Esmom. He has a circle of friends and he’s keeping his anxiety in check so that’s great progress in and of itself. He’ll get there, eventually, I have no doubt 🙂
Hi Kitten, Thank you for your kind words. It’s hard to say where his head is really at. He hasn’t had any dating experience at all. As I said, he’s been happy to settle into the role of sidekick. It’s a good avoidance tactic, lol.
But I think he’d be receptive if someone showed some interest. Who knows, maybe someone even has but if she was subtle about it he probably wouldn’t pick that up. He tends to put up a wall with most people, being friendly but tending to back off if people get too close too fast. I’m thinking his best type for a partner would be someone who’s pretty assertive, but who also knows to give him the extra space he tends to require.
He has made a ton of progress, though, you’re right about that. The fact that he’s away at a big university and holding is own is something I couldn’t imagine was in the cards for him not that many years ago. He is super tough, the most determined guy I know.
That completely makes sense. He needs a partner who is strong and centered but also empathetic and intuitive. She’s out there, I promise.
You should be very proud of him, Esmom <3
same. I love hearing about adults on the spectrum who are doing well and functioning in society. My 6-year-old has ASD, and while she is “high functioning” (I think the term is a misnomer and causes people to overestimate her, but I use it because there’s no alternative as of yet), it’s hard not to worry about what life will be like for her as an adult.
Double same! My son is on the spectrum. There are a lot of emotions involved, although it can feel selfish, because many kids face harder and deeper struggles being differently abled. That being said- shortly after his diagnosis, I read that Dan Akroyd was on the spectrum. For some reason, that brought me so much comfort- he’s a funny, interesting person, living a good life and being successful. I love hearing about people loving people on the spectrum, and about the people on the spectrum living great lives. No shade on Amy for this; it is good for her to speak on this.
“I think the term is a misnomer and causes people to overestimate her, but I use it because there’s no alternative as of yet”
I follow several Autism activist on Twitter. They prefer “Low support needs or High supports needs” as opposed to High functioning/Low functioning. Formerly known as Asperger types are usually labeled as High Functioning now. As you have found, when you say “High Functioning” people tend to think they don’t need any additional help/support. I now say “My son has Low Support needs but he does HAVE them.” and then I list what those needs are as they may be different from someone else’s.
This whole thread gives me hope that my son may yet find a girlfriend one day.
@Julianne, thank you! I have never heard the terms “low/high support needs” but will now go and research.
Have you ever read (or heard of) the book Journal of Best Practices by David Finch? It’s about a man who decided to learn how to be the best husband after he learned of his own asperger’s diagnosis. I read it and loved it and shared it with my cousin whose son is on the spectrum. It’s a beautiful and funny and very hopeful memoir.
Hi Esmom, been a few days since this post so not sure you will see it but I also have a cousin who I suspect is also on the spectrum (he once mentioned he didn’t have Asperger’s but he has no reference since he cannot observe his own behavior unbiased). He’s always been a bit of a loner, has social anxiety, and never has been good at making direct eye contact. And he is very passionate about computers/operating systems. He will talk your ear off all day long in his monotone voice if you let him and he is a good person at heart. Just super awkward in social situations. He also thought he would never be able to date but after his mom suggested online dating, he actually managed to connect with someone. I was so surprised I admit when he managed to snag a girlfriend. His personality is so offputting to strangers I always worried for him but after meeting his girlfriend (who is great), I’m glad she’s in his life. He travels more and is more social because of her and they got engaged and are getting married in a few months. I think there’s hope for your son!
This made my day. I know it’s different but my husband is dyslexic. My 5 year old son is having trouble reading and we are in the process of getting him an IEP for school. We believe he is also dyslexic. It’s a long, stressful process. Seeing people starting to be more open about things like this and seeing successful adults who’ve had challenges takes a little bit of the sting away. I will definitely be watching this tonight.
My dad had Asperger, and the man I’m in love with would certainly be diagnosed with it if it was still considered a discrete diagnosis. I hate the idea that it’s considered a disorder or something that needs to be cured.
Honestly, I was worried about what she was going to say here, but this was really sweet and thoughtful. She speaks of his disorder so casually, like it’s just a facet of him that’s different and still lovable. I live with friends whose two oldest children have autism (one is higher functioning, the other is very sweet but completely non-verbal). There are challenges, no getting around that, but the narrative is so often about the parents and The Struggle that it forgets that autistic individuals who still PEOPLE who need love and affection and respect like anybody else. It’s nothing that needs cured. We just need to learn as a society how to better tolerate differences and make room for people who can’t conform the way we want.
Yes, I also loved how she talked about him. She framed it all in such a positive way that it, as the mom of a young adult Aspie, almost took my breath away.
weird that the article specified a story about falling down, and then didn’t really say what happened. Guess I need to watch the special!
I’m a teacher, and I’ve had students with autism who are non-verbal, students with autism that is very mild (verbal, decent social skills, etc), and everyone in between. I have a special place in my heart for people with autism. I’ve always been very comfortable with them, and love to teach them. It’s a challenge, but a good one. Anyway. #AutismLove
I’m Autistic. All this talk of “on the spectrum” makes it seem like you all are afraid of saying the “A” word. Autistic. It’s a fine word, and nothing to be ashamed of. Dancing around it makes me feel like I’ve got something to hide.
I respect what you say and I agree that you never should be ashamed of being you. There are people all over the world with different little quirks. When people look at each other with acceptance and not judgement, it will be a much better place.
My husband and son are autistic but I do prefer the phrase autism spectrum because there’s such a broad range of abilities and challenges that I think the word alone is misleading. The cliche is if you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism but I think it applies.
I tend to use “on the spectrum” because my kid was first diagnosed before the terminology changed. her original diagnosis was PDD-NOS, which wasn’t considered proper “autism” but she was still on the spectrum. now that aspergers/autism/PDD-NOS have been combined into the ASD diagnosis I just say she has ASD or that she is on the spectrum. sometimes I say she has autism, but I’ve never used “autistic” and I don’t know why. maybe just a linguistic choice, similar to how I will say that my mom “has diabetes” instead of “is diabetic.”
hi EM – I’ve heard that people with autism prefer to call themselves autistic, but also that their preference ranges from how they prefer others to refer them, meaning some people with autism want others to call them a person with autism (person-first language) and reserve the right to call themselves autistic. And of course there are people who prefer that they call themselves autistic and others identify them as autistic.
As a person with mutiple disabilities, I prefer person-first language because I’ve seen reductionism when someone is labeled anorexic or diabetic for example. People can’t imagine anyone outside of a very narrow box.
But I tend to ask the person what they personally prefer and I think we could all learn a lot from asking.
My father in law has what was known as Aspergers. I like what we have read here, he was/is a shitty dad taking almost no interest in his son or his grandchildren, he says things as he sees them which is pretty much always hurtful, and is generally just a dick. I didn’t realize he was on the spectrum (nobody did, he hasn’t been formally diagnosed) and found him to be a terrible human being until I figured out what was going on. I still don’t like him much but my temper doesn’t flare like it used to since I figured out he’s on the spectrum.
I believe my dad and sister are somewhere on the spectrum. They both fit the descriptions I’ve read about Aspergers.
My dad is highly functioning and is able to establish and maintain close friendships, but my sister is not.
Reading articles like this give me hope, that she still may be able to find a partner who will appreciate her differences.
My honey has never been diagnosed but I am pretty convinced that he has high-functioning autism.
He becomes deeply focused and obsessed by one thing, including romantically (fortunately it’s me.) If he is at work, he is all consumed by that. If he’s with me, it’s all me. He is very honest, but never rude and doesn’t understand why people would be offended by straightforward truth. He doesn’t really get angry or envious, he doesn’t understand such emotions.
A lot of what I love about him comes from his autism but there are differences that come into play. For instance, he doesn’t always get emotion, and although he will be practically caring, he doesn’t always know how to be there on an emotional level. Like any relationship, compromise is required.
Sounds like my honey exactly. He is an aspie. I adore him and it was like reading a description of my man ^^^ LOL. It took time to understand how he works but now we work perfectly. Aspergers is nothing to ever be ashamed of and even though it is no longer an official diagnosis, he still refers to himself as having aspergers.
I found this so comforting since only yesterday I was told by one of my son’s teachers that she believes he is on the spectrum. We have thought for a little while that it was possibly non-verbal learning disability but everything seems to come up Aspergers.
Its very strange how the conversation started with her and how easy it was, almost right place at the right time sort of thing. Now this post, it’s just nice to know he can live a great life with it. Thank you all for this today!
My kiddo is almost 18 and he is on the higher functioning end of ASD. There have been challenges but I would not trade any of it. None of us in the family want a cure because the kid is a delight. All you young parents, keep at it. It’s so worth it. The school work is falling into place, his group of friends love him, and he just had a relationship end, but alas. Not all of it goes well for any of us, right?
Neurodiversity is good.