Jessica Simpson’s extreme diet makes her a lightweight drunk

At this point, I’m sure everybody has seen these pictures of Jessica Simpson looking half-way or completely in the bag at her hair stylist Ken Paves’ birthday last Wednesday. Jessica was photographed leaving the club with Ken, who looked scared and nervous that so many people were photographing an obviously tanked client/friend. For her part, Jessica looked like she’s a very happy drunk. She tried to smile and blow kisses at the photographers, and seemed like she was feeling no pain. Ken totally shoved her into the back of a car, and my guess is that Jess was praying to the porcelain gods just hours later.

Page Six is now claiming that Jess’s intention wasn’t to get drunk as a skunk that night – she’s just on a hardcore diet, and her tolerance for alcohol is null and void. I kind of think the story would be cooler if Jessica’s people just came out and said “Yeah, she got hammered. It happens. It was a fun party!” But instead, it has to be all about her split:

JESSICA Simpson is dropping weight faster than she realizes. Celebrating her hairstylist Ken Paves’ birthday Wednesday night at Beso in Hollywood, “she didn’t eat much, because she’s been dieting since her split from Tony Romo,” said our source.

So after two drinks, the 5-foot-3 star “got tipsy really fast.” Photos show a bleary, but svelte, Simpson holding onto Paves as they exited.

Simpson’s rep told us, “She was out celebrating Ken’s birthday, and now she’s getting ready to leave the country to film her docu-series for VH1.”

[From Page Six]

I hate the whole idea of going on a “revenge” diet when you break up with someone. It’s as if Jessica thinks Tony dumped her because he didn’t like her body, when I believe the relationship probably lasted as long as it did because the only thing Tony liked was her body.

Meanwhile, Jessica’s message man (her dad) got a night off, and it was Jessica’s mom’s turn to talk to the press about her daughter. Tina Simpson happens to be a lot more forgiving of Tony, and she tells US Weekly that “we all like our exes.” Not really, Tina, but whatever:

Jessica Simpson may have been dumped by Tony Romo, but her family has no hard feelings.

“We like all our exes,” her mom, Tina, told E! News at a Gap event in Hollywood Thursday.

How’s Jessica handling the split, which happened on the eve of her 29th birthday in July?
“Jessica is just a really strong girl,” says Tina. “She has her stuff together. She really does. She’s really solid.”

“I’m very proud of her,” Tina went on, adding that Jessica is currently “awesome…she’s doing very good.”

Tina says she’s been spending the summer with Jessica and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz “working, hanging out by the pool, enjoying the grandson.”

Bronx, 8 months, “is a sweetheart,” Tina says. “He’s so cute. And getting so big…I’m a proud grandmother!”

[From US Weekly]

Poor Ashlee. She never gets the attention. At least, not from her dad. Or the media. But Ashlee and her mom seem pretty tight. To be fair to the Simpson parents, can you imagine having Pete Wentz as a son-in-law? You’d probably keep your distance too.

Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves are shown out a Beso on 8/5/09. Credit: and Fame Pictures

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14 Responses to “Jessica Simpson’s extreme diet makes her a lightweight drunk”

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  1. Nev says:

    Ok here come the excusses. Truth is Jess seem to have been a big drunk for a long time now. I remember seeing pics every where of the night when she was out with Mayer NYE-few years ago and Mayer was balancing a liquor bottle on her head. She was drunk on her azz then and there was no break up.
    Jess seem to be a big drunk that need AAA. Someone needs to stage an intervention.

  2. Anoneemouse says:

    She couldn’t hold her liquor when she was 20 lbs heavier either…

  3. boomchakaboom says:

    Yep, even non-dieting people get plastered. It’s called drinking too much.

  4. Ash says:

    These pictures are hilarious.

  5. nancypants says:

    must’ve been the chicken cordon of the sea

  6. Hieronymus Grex says:

    Because Ashlee is as interesting as plain oatmeal, Kaiser. Jessica is at least as amusing as she is stupid. Ashlee just married a gay man; she and Katie Holmes can get together and swap stories.

  7. j. ferber says:

    Look, if a vapid twat like Elisabeth Hasselbeck can make it in life, I see no reason why Jessica Simpson can’t.

  8. HEB says:

    Wow a story where Ken Paves ISN’T a huge douche bag, what a rarity!

  9. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Nev, she needs AA, not roadside assistance 😉

  10. Katyusha says:

    HAHAHAHAHA Bill Hicks!

    Most “hard core” dieters don’t drink booze.
    Regular dieters, sure. But to me, Hard core diet implies no cheating whatsoever.

  11. crash2GO2 says:

    Whenever I go through a painful breakup I simply can’t eat and lose at least 10 lbs, even though I’m already thin. It has nothing to do with revenge – it is simply my body’s way of reacting to that particular stress. Maybe Jessica is the same.

  12. Emily says:

    Lol I love all the comments saying she needs to go to AA. Come to Australia, and Jessica would seem sober in comparison.

  13. Magsy says:

    C’mon Miss Jessy likes her weed and her booze whether she’s chubby or svelte. And quit blaming everything on Tony Romo. She should go back to John Mayer.

  14. Nev says:

    Bill Hicks right I get it AA not AAA. That’s too funny thanks for giving me a good laugh at my self.
    Magsy I think Jess should stay far away from Mayer.
    She should know Mayer only intend to use her. So when he does use her and spit her out again I guess her fans will want to gather posters up to bash Mayer like they do Tony. Jess has a responsibility to stop picking high profile men that are no good for her.