Anne Heche was on “The View” on Wednesday, and talked about how hard it is to be a long-distance mom. Heche films “Men in Trees” in Vancouver. A little while after starting the show, she left her husband to be with her new costar, who left his wife. The two got a lot of flack about it, though I’m guessing that’s not just because it’s slightly untoward, but because Heche is certifiable. So when she does much of anything besides go to the grocery store, people are going to think she’s doing it because she’s crazy. Which she totally is, but that might not the motivating factor in her every decision. But I’m probably giving her too much credit.
“The man with whom Anne Heche shares a log cabin in real life – her Men in Trees costar James Tupper – is ‘adorable,’ but he has nothing on the guy who flies into her arms: 5-year-old son Homer. ‘Homer flies a lot … twice a month to see me,’ Heche said on Wednesday’s episode of The View. Homer’s father, Hollywood cameraman (and Heche’s ex-husband) Coley Laffoon, shares custody with the actress. Twice a month, Heche also flies from Vancouver, Canada, to L.A. to be with her son.
“Meanwhile, Heche explains, she gives him a lot of love over the phone. ‘It’s hard,’ she admits. ‘You’ve got to open up your heart as if he’s right in front of you.’ Laffoon and Heche wed in 2001, and the marriage ended in February 2007, with the blame falling on her then-budding relationship with on-camera love interest Tupper (known as ‘McTreemy’ on the Men in Trees set), who split from his wife late last year. ‘I’m so happy,’ Heche said on The View before quickly clarifying her remark to say, ‘I don’t think anybody says, “Yay, divorce. That was a lot of fun.’
“View host Barbara Walters, who has interviewed Heche on several occasions in the past, admitted to her guest about the union with Laffoon, ‘I didn’t think that marriage was going to last.’ When Heche asked to know the reason, Walters replied, ‘I don’t think you always think with your head.’”
Best. Quote. Ever. Barbara Walters, master of directness.
That’s a pretty crappy way for a 5-year-old to have to spend half their weekends every month. I don’t want to sound all judgy, but I think it’ d be more fair (though certainly less convenient) for Heche to fly to him every month. I really hate it when people get divorced and uproot their kids’ schedules for the parents’ convenience. If you split up and live far away from your kid, move closer or fly to them, whether you’re the mom or the dad. Between the airport, security, waiting, and the flight, (all roundtrip) Homer probably spends 12 hours of his weekend just devoted to getting to Anne. And it’s not like once he gets there, he spends time with this fantastic mom that’s taking him to the pumpkin patch or something. We’re talking about a woman who says she has another personality (Remember Celestia?) who’s an alien who tells her what to do. And I don’t think she’s ever recanted that. So Homer flies up there, probably gets abducted by aliens, and then as soon as he’s back he has to fly home to L.A. That just can’t be good for a kid.
Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Anne during the crazy Celestia years. Header image at the Tony Awards on 06/10/2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.