The Trump campaign’s inglorious end at Four Seasons Total Landscaping

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Before the presidential race was called, around 11:30 am EST on Saturday, Donald Trump was still in denial and still threatening all kinds of bogus voter fraud lawsuits. Trump and his minions are especially triggered by Pennsylvania’s voters, which… I mean, as it turns out, PA was the state to make Joe Biden president, so the MAGAs had good reason to be concerned. So, before the race was called, Trump announced on Twitter that there would be a big press conference from his legal team at “Four Seasons” in Philly. That tweet was then deleted and a correction was issued: the press conference would be held at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia, which is located in-between a sex shop and a crematorium. The press conference was done in the parking lot, and it included a ranting Rudy Giuliani. As Rudy spoke, the race was called for Biden. An inglorious end, perhaps, or maybe it was just… completely fitting.

What began five years ago with the made-for-TV announcement of Donald Trump’s presidential ambitions from the escalator of his ritzy Manhattan high-rise, ended Saturday with his aging lawyer shouting conspiracy theories and vowing lawsuits in a Northeast Philadelphia parking lot, near a sex shop and a crematorium.

In hindsight, the hastily arranged news conference featuring Rudy Giuliani, the president’s personal lawyer, just minutes after Joe Biden had been declared the victor of the 2020 race, delivered a fitting end to a campaign that had been at times characterized by its slapdash techniques.

But the story of how a landscaping company in Holmesburg became the backdrop for what could have been one of the Trump team’s last public gasps in their bid to reverse the results quickly captured the public’s imagination. It started Saturday morning, with a presidential tweet that, as has often happened during the past four years, Trump’s advisers quickly scrambled to correct.

Trump announced: “Lawyers News Conference Four Seasons, Philadelphia, 11 a.m.,” only to delete his post minutes later and replace it with one changing the venue from the upscale Center City hotel to a similarly named business: Four Seasons Total Landscaping on industrial State Road, next to Fantasy Island Adult Books and Novelties and across the street from the Delaware Valley Cremation Center.

“To clarify, President Trump’s news conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia,” the hotel’s management tweeted out minutes later. “It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping — no relation with the hotel.”

The New York Times reported Saturday that Giuliani and Trump adviser Corey Lewandowski had always intended the news conference to take place in a section of Philadelphia where they might receive a more welcome reception than at the raucous celebrations of Biden’s victory going on in Center City. It was the president, the paper reported, who had misunderstood.

As for why Four Seasons Total Landscaping? Giuliani offered no explanation Saturday and made no mention of the company or its owner, Marie Siravo, during his remarks. Tom Matkowski, GOP ward leader for the neighborhood, said the news conference hadn’t been coordinated with the local Republican Party and that he didn’t believe the Siravo family was active in local party politics.

[From The Philadelphia Inquirer]

There was a lot of laughing, well-deserved, about all of this, but I have a few frightening notes to make. First of all, this is who they ALWAYS were. They were always this slap-dash and half-assed. They literally just called the first “Four Seasons” they saw in a phone book and “booked” some press conference space… in a parking lot. That’s how they ran the 2016 campaign AND the 2020 campaign. Four Seasons Total Landscaping wasn’t an outlier, it was their entire brand!! “Re-elect us, we’re grossly incompetant and we’re just some old guys ranting in parking lots and airport hangars.” Thank God this part of the nightmare is over.

As for Rudy, he found out mid-press conference that the news networks called it for Biden. His reaction was to literally yell at clouds.

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106 Responses to “The Trump campaign’s inglorious end at Four Seasons Total Landscaping”

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  1. Astrid says:

    This made my weekend!

    • Lizzie says:

      Same!

    • Noodle says:

      My husband had been avoiding all election news because it was so anxiety inducing for him. When this story broke Saturday, I cautiously emailed it to him because it was hilarious and I hoped he would consider it despite his election embargo. I could hear him laughing for a good 20 minutes afterwards. It’s just hilarious. I truly wonder how much the campaign to have this set up in a parking lot of a strip mall… and the tweet from the Four Seasons Hotel confirming the press conference was NOT at their site and really was in the parking lot of a sex shop, crematorium and landscaping business was perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

      • Amy Too says:

        And apparently if you keep driving down state road, you end up at a prison. I read an article that said something like “the rally took place in the parking lot of four seasons landscaping, between a crematorium and an adult book store on state road, which, like many of those who have associated with the Trump campaign, ends up at a prison.”

    • minx says:

      I couldn’t enough of this story. The tweets were hysterical.

    • Ponchorella says:

      Oh my god, me too! I had always thought that if Trump lost the election, that I would be dancing in the streets. However, The reality was that I just ended up feeling sad and weary about all the people who still voted for and support him and slept a lot. The Trump signs are still up all over my suburban Orlando neighborhood. Trump is leaving, but the Magat asshats remain.

      It was this story that lifted me from my funk more than anything else. I’m still fucking laughing about the jankyness of it all. I hope someone eventually writes an article about the details of how this presser came to be.

      Btw, a huge thank you to all the ‘bitchies that were involved in the fight! Speaking of which, where’s Jerusha been?

    • MaryContrary says:

      Mine too. We were crying with laughter over the tweets and memes on Saturday night.

    • Me too, Astrid. This F***Up totally gave me a great laugh. I also love all the memes of Rudi shouting, “Do you think I’m stupid,” to reporters at this press conference. Seems the Twitter universe thinks he is. I also went online and bought the t-shirt. The landscaping company is selling t-shirts for $25, but there is also a woman selling them for $15 with all profits going to support the Georgia Democratic candidates for Senate in the Jan 5 Georgia runoffs. Her company is called “ShopClass.” I put my money there as, if they elect a Democrat Senator in Georgia, this might take McConnell down a peg and be a HUGE assist to Biden as he tries to get confirmation on appointees and push his agenda through. As we’ve all seen, relying on signing Executive Orders doesn’t cut it as next President just rescinds them. We need a Democratic Senate or a Senate of 50/50, because then the VP — our dear Lady in White — would have the tie breaking vote. 🙏

  2. Becks1 says:

    It’s just such a fitting end for this whole nightmare – Rudy yelling at the clouds, Trump holed up in the White House (or golfing) while people dance in the streets, and the effing Four Seasons landscaping company.

    Good riddance.

    • Myra says:

      The (actual/literal) dumpster in the parking lot was quite symbolic. It was a perfect summation of the presidency for the past four years. January can’t come soon enough

  3. Riemc526 says:

    LOL! Stuck between a hard place and a dead end… The jokes just write themselves!

    • Liz version 700 says:

      The poor owner of the adult bookshop (and live viewing parlor!) was so mad. All day dozens of people called him to ask if Rudy was still there.

  4. FHMom says:

    We deserve this. They are dishonest to the end.

  5. Snuffles says:

    Such a fitting and symbolic end.

  6. phaedra says:

    I don’t know why everybody’s laughing. I just booked my wedding at the Ritz Carlton Sewage Treatment Maintenance and it was hella reasonably priced! Woo hoo! More money for my Fantasy Island honeymoon.

  7. MerlinsMom1018 says:

    😆😆😆😆😆😆
    I don’t know what was better. The reporters packing up and leaving not even halfway through, Rudy melting down (which should be played on a constant loop at the WH), the explanation having to be put out that the conference wasn’t going to be at the Four Seasons HOTEL, but the Four Seasons LANDSCAPING company, (I’m sure they’re a nice group of people) who are now cashing in…
    Between a sex shop and a crematorium. So…fitting. A pervert creepy loser “president” watching his shitshow turn to ashes…
    Rudy losing his shit was a fight to behold!!!!

  8. Digital Unicorn says:

    I was reading that the gov has yet to issue the formal ‘transition’ letter which signifies that the gov accept the results. Apparently the agency who does it normally does it within 24 hrs but they are holding off as Patient Orange has not yet conceded and the states have not called the results. That worries me as it makes me think Moscow Mitch is working behind the scenes to steal votes – note that the GOP leadership has not yet congratulated Biden and Harris. They will support Dump in his bid to steal votes.

    • Esmom says:

      I’m getting increasingly terrified, too. I feel like half of Trump’s team is ready to concede and start the transition but the other half, including Trump himself and his punk-ass kids, will not cooperate and will continue to desperately find a way to throw the election back to them, including “faithless electors” or even maneuvering to bypass the electoral college completely. From what I have read, it will be largely impossible for them to do this. But I still can’t shake the fact that something nefarious might actually stick.

      • Riemc526 says:

        Aren’t votes still being counted though? And I thought they actually have until December 18 to finalize all of that.

      • heygingersnaps says:

        The ballots are still being counted but there’s not much left, Biden’s gap is such as that he has been projected the clear winner of this election.
        Dec. 8 is the deadline for resolving election disputes at the state level. All state recounts and court contests over presidential election results are to be completed by this date.
        Georgia is the tightest, and is guaranteed to head to a recount. Biden leads by 10,353. In the last twenty years the outcome of an election has only been over-turned by a recount in the US three times, and in each case the change was in the low hundreds, not the thousands. So a recount would still be in Biden’s favour.

      • outoftheshadows says:

        Faithless electors are no longer a thing. The Supreme Court ruled that they must follow their state’s decision as of last July.

      • Larelyn says:

        @outoftheshadows – not quite. The SC ruled that states are allowed to punish faithless electors. There is still nothing to stop an elector from casting their vote for anyone other than the popular winner of a state.

    • Jay says:

      I think they are just trying to make the transition as hard as possible – the Trump appointee signing that letter is what gives the Biden team access to agencies and resources. It’s petty af, but a. Biden was part of a functioning WH for eight years, he doesn’t need the tour, b. What possible expertise or experience do you think Trump’s shambolic appointees could actually offer? and c. Biden’s team has prepared for this, no one thought the orange one would be gracious. Biden’s just going to go ahead and appoint his teams and get on with the job.

      I’m surprised that Mitch is playing along with his silence – he’s been in politics too long to go down with this ship. You’d think he would be trying to focus everyone’s money and attention on the Georgia runoffs in an effort to save his own skin. Maybe the big donors are already doing that.

      • MissMarierose says:

        Mitch probably is focusing big GOP donor attention on the GA runoffs; that’s why the Trump campaign is sending out dozens of emails to regular folks begging for money.

        That’s why Dems and Independents need to get moving NOW and send money and help to Warnock and Ossoff to help them turn the Senate blue and get Moscow Mitch tf out of his position.

    • BearcatLawyer says:

      What they are trying to do with lawsuits and ranting press conferences is delay counting and certification of the votes until the required deadlines for certification have passed. In so doing they will then argue only votes actually cast on or before Election Day will count. Luckily the local election officials are aware of this and will not allow the Chump campaign to distract them from finishing the counts and certifications.

      • Digital Unicorn says:

        From what i’ve seen the election officials in the states where he wants the vote are extremely p!ssed at him and his team. They are all receiving death threats.

        I love the guy who said that Dump should ‘put on his big boy pants’!!!

      • MsIam says:

        The votes that are cast on or before Election Day are the only ones that count now. What Trump is trying to argue is that votes that were received after 8pm Election Day should not be counted. In PA they are going by the date on the postmark. But they are setting those aside and counting them separately. Plus once you put your ballot in the mail you can’t control when it’s delivered. A voter could argue that they are being disenfranchised by the courts if their vote isn’t counted due to something not under their control. I don’t think the courts will want to get into that or at least not the courts that are fair.

    • Barbara says:

      Yes, I read that too and it seriously worries me. Can they even do that, withhold the money, just because Trump doesn’t want to concede?

      • lucy2 says:

        Now THIS would be something to take to the courts, and get a court order for them to proceed. They probably can’t until it’s certified.

        Regardless of what happens, Dump’s term is up on Jan 20, 2021. He can stomp his feet and cry until then, but it doesn’t make a difference.

    • bluemoonhorse says:

      JMO but they are giving Trump a few days to see if he is going to ask for a recount. I have no worries. It may be a little late but it is coming. BTW recounts must be done before November ends and I think GA must be done within 10 days.

    • User4355 says:

      McConnell is evil and partisan af, but while he has not congratulated Biden/Harris, he is also not playing into the fraud rhetoric like some other people in the GOP.

      I have read that Biden and McConnell have somewhat of an okay relationship (relatively speaking), and McConnell was the only GOP senator to attend Beau Biden’s funeral.

      Not that I expect for McConnell to be reasonable if the GOP maintains control of the Senate- he will always be party over country.

  9. Anna says:

    Whoever organised this, not only deserve a medal – but also show they have a sense of humour.

  10. Cee says:

    I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing at the idiocy of booking a Landscaping company believing it to be a Four Seasons hotel. I don’t understand how these people ran companies let alone became Government.

    • Mignionette says:

      This is literally who they are without all the props, staff and assistants. IDIOTS. I also feel as if this were deliberately done by someone on the campaign to undermine Trump. A final nail in the coffin after working for someone so insufferable.

  11. My3cents says:

    This is so fitting, a perfect end.
    Rudy shut up and go stick your hand down your crotch.

  12. Sofia says:

    I was going to type “How on Earth can you be so incompetent and not book the right four seasons” but then I remembered who I was talking about so…

    NVM

  13. Feedmechips says:

    The way he kept licking his lips–not how I should have started this morning 🤢🤢🤢

  14. SJ Knows says:

    I can only see Kate McKinnon now. lol

  15. Green Eyes says:

    Poetic justice and karma was at work
    No matter how they wound up having the location they did… it’s always been a $h!t Show of an administration.. now they can have their updates among the manure/fertilizer where they belong. Let their bs be shoveled out with the rest of the fertilizer.

    That sex shop across the street.. just so Trumpian!

  16. Dana says:

    It was like Carl Hiassen wrote the season ending episode of Arrested Development.

  17. Ann says:

    As I understand it, they announced the Four Seasons intending it at the hotel, but they didn’t ask the hotel. Four Seasons found out about it and said, “No.” So they had to pretend landscaping company was the plan all along. It wasn’t.

    • Mignionette says:

      I wonder why the Four Seasons declined ?

      Surely such a historic event is good PR for them ?

      The PR spins could have been endless.

      • bluemoonhorse says:

        Probably didn’t want to fumigate afterwards.

        Seriously though what company would want their name connected to these losers? Look for the exodus.

      • lucy2 says:

        I assume they wanted nothing to do with this awful administration.
        Plus it’s right downtown, and likely would have been overrun with people celebrating Biden’s win.

        On a side note, I went to the actual hotel last year, it is gorgeous. The restaurant at the top is incredible.

      • vertes says:

        They could have declined because they knew they might not get paid. The creep has left gigantic outstanding bills,

      • MsIam says:

        Probably afraid there could have been violence. Plus it would have sparked a “boycott the Four Seasons” movement and who wants that?

  18. Belli says:

    Every time I remember this, I start laughing again.

    Some genius called the first Google result for “Four Seasons Philadelphia” to book a major press conference.

    Not only that, but the person at the other end of the line just went along with it.

    Not only that, but when they realised the mistake, the campaign doubled down and pretended that was always where they’d planned to hold it.

    Not only that, but it was between a crematorium and an adult book store and they were stuck in the parking lot.

    Not only that, but they slapped some Trump posters on the wall to try and make it look official.

    Not only that, but the election was called part way through and most of the reporters left.

    It’s just not possible to write comedy this good! 🤣

    • Merricat says:

      Can you imagine the writer’s room that would come up with this? I am STILL laughing about the shambling incompetence that is typical of this administration.

    • Gina says:

      I saw some tweets from sitcom writers. They felt one- upped 😂

    • lucy2 says:

      You truly couldn’t make this up. It’s just that insane.
      I also loved the adult book store guy complaining they were taking up his parking spot, and that people were calling him asking for Rudy. (Speaking of, you guys all saw what happened with Trump’s election fraud hotline, right?)

  19. Belig says:

    Checked out the “landscaping” tweet for a good laugh. All the replies from blue check Republicans are like an alternate reality…

  20. greenmonster says:

    I already ordered my t-shirt “Four Seasons Total Landscaping – Not the Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia”. I laughed so hard, when I heard that story. And I still do. I will wear my Nasty Woman shirt and this one with pride and glee.

  21. scollins says:

    porn shop = tRump Presidential Library

  22. Sean says:

    “the press conference would be held at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia, which is located in-between a sex shop and a crematorium.”

    *cue Curb Your Enthusiasm theme*

  23. AnnaKist says:

    Such a glorious sight to behold. Trump’s favourite filthy henchman being publicly kneecapped in a parking lot between a sex shop and crematorium. How appropriate.

    On our panel show, QandA tonight, one of Murdoch’s political journalists said that until a couple of days ago, Dump was not only the president, but also the leader of a popular movement. He’s obviously no longer president, but is still the leader of that popular movement, and that is still a danger that Mr Biden needs to quash. Dump has many fans down here to sing his praises, especially hard right-wing journalists like the vile Alan Jones, Paul Murray, Miranda Devine and Peta Credlin. And some in my family. My SIL thinks Alan Jones is the greatest thing since daily bathing, but she also thinks Cardinal George Pell did not molest those boys, even though “you know, with what happenened to my own brother and that..”. It’s at this point I realised two things: 1) She’s still the dumbarse I always took her to be, despite my mother considering her to be the most intelligent female in the family. and 2) She had no idea of the secret she’d just revealed about her poor brother, because I always opined this had happened to him, and was the reason why he completely dropped out of mainstream society. But I difress… So, even Paul Kelly says to ignore Dump’s leadership of his own rabid fan club is to place America in danger.

    Oh… I just thought… what if he wants to leave America and come here? But no, I get the feeling he did his dash with our PM over something.

    I really hope that Mr Biden and Ms Harris, in their measured, reasoned and compassionate way, can show Dump’s supporters that there is a better way.

    • Merricat says:

      The president-elect has addressed the situation repeatedly. He has promised to be a president for all, unlike the guy who told Democratic governors they “should have been nicer” to them. Biden is known for his ability to broker deals across party lines, and even deathhead Mitch McConnell has worked with him. Biden won the popular vote by 5 MILLION. Nobody here is a newbie except the Trump adminstration.

    • MsIam says:

      I think our saving grace is that the FBI and other National Security have been watching these groups for years and they have embedded people in them. That’s how they knew about the plot against Governor Whitmer and also about what they tried to do in Philadelphia to the vote counting center. They can’t prevent a lone wolf though, nothing can. I think the greater threat is them getting control of the government like in Nazi Germany. I believe Biden will take this threat seriously.

  24. PhillyD says:

    Republican leadership needs to come collect they Daddy, he out here making a fool of himself in these streets!

  25. Ann says:

    This is so embarrassing for them and it’s glorious! I’m sure they did try to reach the actual Four Seasons to fix this and were told no because nobody wants anything to do with trump and his goons. If Obama wanted to hold a last minute event at Four Seasons they would make it happen, but not for trump because he is a loser and we hate him!

  26. paranormalgirl says:

    Honestly, this cracked me up all weekend.

  27. Nikki says:

    While I think it was a mistake, initially, anyone else think there’s going to a $100K invoice from Four Seasons Total Landscaping for a press conference in the campaign records?

    Also, all those buses that dropped people off but never picked them up because they weren’t paid? They must of submitted invoices if they expected to be paid on the day. When they audit the campaign finances as long as the invoice marked paid and there’s a matching debit to the back account. . .

  28. Surferrosa says:

    Does anyone else think this could have been an episode in VEEP?

  29. bluemoonhorse says:

    Slapdash, crooked, and stupid. But their message spoke to the heart of too many Americans. The Democrats have a fundamental lack of understanding that which worries me.

    • MsIam says:

      Democrats understand racism just fine. Republicans are the ones who want to pretend it doesn’t exist. I was listening to Roland Martin saying that Democrats need to start building a coalition of people who support their platform because it’s a waste of time trying to change the minds of these entrenched folks.

  30. Other Renee says:

    I thought at first this must be some kind of joke. Well, it was but not the kind I had thought. I could not stop laughing when I read this article on BuzzFeed:
    https://www.buzzfeed.com/natashajokic1/four-seasons-landscaping-tweets

    One of the sex shop employees apparently claims that the calls have been nonstop, many people asking, “Is Rudy Giuliani there?”

  31. Veronica S. says:

    If and when they ever write this as a dark comedy, they’re going to have to change things to make it more realistic because people quite literally won’t accept this kind of absurdity as fact. They won’t believe anybody could be this stupid and incompetent and still such a massive threat to the country.

    By the way, the landscaping company has already put out an announcement they were honored to have them.

    • The landscaping company announced they would have been happy to host either party not just republicans.

      • Veronica S. says:

        Lol, I figured the PR saving throw was a matter of time. The moment they released the first one, I went, “You’re a Philadelphia based company, dumbasses!” They can’t pretend to not know how that looked.

  32. Izzy says:

    Someone started a parody Twitter account for the landscaping company, and it’s gold! They should let them actually run their social media, business is going to be booming come spring.

  33. Sass says:

    The Washington Post piece about this is full of such gleeful derision and I am here for it:

    “Outside the Clark County Election Center in Las Vegas, a news conference was interrupted by a hysterical man in a sleeveless tank that read “BEER BBQ FREEDOM.”
    “The Biden crime family is stealing this election!” he screamed over and over again, as if repetition would make it true.“

    • MaryContrary says:

      The best was that after he wandered off, the government official didn’t skip beat-literally just turned around and said deadpan “What was the last question?” We kept watching it on loop because it was so hilarious.

  34. Josie Bean says:

    Soon the media will stop giving Rudy any attention – hopefully. He is painful to watch – every journalist there must have been shaking their heads in disbelief at what a moron Rudy is.

  35. Jennifer says:

    My favorite tweet about this was something like, “Between a crematorium and a sex shop? Wow, they really took it literally how everyone is telling them to f*** off and die.” Hahaha

  36. Joan says:

    I find this process painful to watch.

  37. Hope says:

    As a former event planner – this story made me roar with laughter. I mean, it’s one thing to totally eff up the location but not one person could find another better place to have this news conference? For humor’s sake, I’m glad they didn’t but my word, you have to 100% not give a hoot about your job anymore to mess up this royally.

    • lucy2 says:

      I know! Once you realized the problem, wouldn’t you do EVERYTHING to try to find a better place? I can’t believe they just rolled with it. Insane.

  38. Diane says:

    How far the mighty have fallen. How embarrassing. How delightful.

  39. Rapunzel says:

    And apparently, one of the “witnesses” to Philly voter “fraud” was a sex offender who exposed himself to children. The ineptitude is breathtaking.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      They are desperate for witnesses and evidence. These people are bricking it as karma and the law is coming for them after noon on 20th Jan 2021.

  40. Sarah says:

    I am SO happy this story keeps getting the mileage. Partly because we all need to let off steam and there are endless jokes being made and I love them all. On a more serious note, it also absolutely shows in the full light of day that this is how these people operate, they are clueless amateurs and thank goodness the horror is very nearly over for the US.

  41. Lila says:

    Favorite story of the weekend. I laughed so hard.

  42. bluemoonhorse says:

    the 4 Seasons Landscape co is now selling Make America Rake Again merch per The Guardian. ROFLMAO.

  43. Valerie says:

    This is hilarious. Have they even filed any of the promised lawsuits today?

  44. Leah says:

    Ending up in an alleyway after starting in Trump’s gaudy gold tower seems like poetic justice.

    Yes Rudy, we think you are stupid. Also Pennsylvania isn’t playing games, push them and you’ll be seeing Gritty in your nightmares.